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“Was it something I said?”
Kitty had rushed out the room, her face buried in her hands. No one in the house was shocked that she had reacted to Julian’s particularly pointed comment through crying, but it certainly created an air of awkwardness and tension.
“Well now you’ve only gone and done it,” remarked Pat, his moustache curled into a frown, “there was absolutely no need-”
“It’s not my fault she reacted like that! I can’t help the way she reacts to things, I can only say the truth, and the truth is-”
“Even if it’s true it doesn’t mean it’s kind! You should always T.H.I.N.K before you speak, and that stands for-”
The two, as they so often did, began to argue. Pat’s voice seemed to rise in pitch until he was almost squeeking as he was explaining to Julian what T.H.I.N.K stood for to deaf ears. Julian, on the other hand was gesticulating wildly, the only words Alison could make out was “now, Pat, you’re twisting my words because I NEVER said-”. To add to the chaos Robin, who was sat on the floor, started shouting to. No one knew what he was saying, likely not even him.
“ok, thank you- Julian, please- okay, okay- RIGHT!” within an instant, every ghost in the room turned towards Alison who had been trying- and failing- to mediate calmly up until this point. “Pat, leave it. Julian, keep your truth bombs to yourself next time. I will go check on Kitty-”
From the corner of the room, the Captain cleared his throat. Alison turned to face him, slightly taken aback.
“Is… is everything ok Captain?”
The Captain started his sentence with his usual incoherent muttering- a sign that he felt some what embarrassed or anxious in what he was about to say:
“Due to our rapport I think it would be more logical if I went to check on Katherine.”
Alison looked at him for a moment, somewhat relieved that she didn’t have to comfort Kitty this time.
“Uh yeah, yeah that would be o…kay?”
“Excellent,” the Captain continued, briskly, “you focus on these two.”
With all the ghosts watching him, he marched quickly out of the room, retaining perfect posture and giving no indication that he felt awkward. After a few moments of stunned silence, Julian and Pat took their oppurtunity to continue the argument.
***
Kitty was somewhat infamous as the most emotional ghost of the house. She seemed to react to things with extremes only, both positive and negative. Only last night she had cried when Alison gently reminded her she physically couldn’t help decorate the tree. It was known and agreed that her emotions, frankly, were an almost theatrical spectacle (though somehow not as dramatic as Thomas). With this in mind, the Captain wrongfully assumed that he would be able to find her easily by just listening out for her sobbing. However, it took him searching nearly every room in the house before eventually finding her in Alison and Mikes onsuite bathroom, curled up in the tub and crying almost silently. He didn’t expect that. Kitty had seemed to run as far as she could to get away from the other ghosts.
The Captain was already out of his comfort zone; emotions were not by any means his forte. He couldn’t comfort them like Alison or spin them into any sort of beauty like Thomas. A small and shameful part of him almost regreted volunteering to find Kitty. Ignoring the uncomfortable yet familiar anxiety creeping up him, he marched into the bathroom and stood next to the tub. He cleared his throat.
“Ah, Katherine, there you are. Come on now, there’s no time for tears, you’re missing the celebrations.”
Kitty didn’t move. The Captain was prepared to use more pursausive negotiation tactics.
“Ahem, Alison informed me that it’s nearly time for presents!” This was a lie. He planned on informing Alison when they got back downstairs. Once again, however, Kitty didn’t stir. Time for his final move. He made his voice more excitable than his usual military bark and said, happily: “She, uh, told me she got you a new stuffed bear!” No reaction.
This really threw the Captain off; if Kitty wasn’t excited at the thought of presents he started to dread that maybe she was a lost cause. He realised he was standing awkwardly in the bathroom. The Captain didn’t understand emotions, not like everyone else. While logically he understood that she was upset, he was slightly alarmed that she was so… expressive. The Captain recalled that throughout his entire life, he cried only once. He doesn’t understand that Kitty can convey and truly *feel* her emotions to the point of tears. Desperate times call for desperate measures, he thought dejectedly. Using more effort than anticipated, he bent his knees and squatted so that he was on the same level as Kitty. He lowered his voice so that, even though it was still reasonably brisk, it was gentler and more caring. He ignored how uncomfortable he was- Kitty needed someone to listen and understand her, and it was too late to back down now.
“Would you like to… talk about it?”
Only this got Kitty to stir. Her body stopped shaking- maybe she too was shocked by what the Captain had just said. After a brief pause in which they both processed his remark, she looked up, her face contorted and wet with tears. She nodded silently. The Captian took this as an indication that something he had done was right, so he continued in the same vain:
“What’s the matter…?”
She took a moment to wipe her face with her sleeve and sniffed miserably. The Captain almost couldn’t bear seeing her so genuinely upset.
“It’s not that big a deal- not really…”
The Captain remained silent, encouraging her to continue.
“It’s just- what Julian said it… reminded me of my sister,”
There was another pause. The Captain knew immediately what she meant. He wanted to logically analyse her feelings- of course, it made perfect sense to react so negatively to a triggering comment. He had to stop himself though, and remained silent again instead. After a few seconds, she begun:
“He didn’t mean to upset me, I just can’t bear to think about her sometimes… she makes me feel so… do you ever feel like… like you’re the only person in the whole world who feels like you do? Like everyone else is normal and fine except for you?”
His heart sunk. Yes. He took the question as an invitation to talk, even though now more than ever he desperately didn’t want to. He cleared his throat.
“Well, yes, there were multiple times I felt that way. Sometimes it felt like… like some part of me was broken or… defective.” He didn’t quite meet her eyes.
There was a mutual and silent understanding of solidarity. While she didn’t comprehend the nuances of what he was talking about fully, she knew what he meant. Of course, she had witnessed his time at Button House as a ghost. She noticed the way he interacted with his peers was unique. There was something about him that she couldn’t quite articulate, but she knew that he truly understood her feeling of exclusion.
She reached out and took his hand.
It was all too much. This was completely new grounds for him; why was he making emotional breakthroughs only in his afterlife? Not meeting her eyes, he squeezed her hand gently. If he said what he truly wanted to say, he might’ve… no, it didn’t bear thinking about. That was enough emotional vulnerability for one day. He stood up, assuming his usual perfect posture.
“Now, lets have no more of these tears. Chin up, Katherine, there’s much to be done.” He smiled at her.
She smiled back, her face regaining it’s usual warmth and defiant life. Despite being two very different people, from two very different times and dealing with two very different problems, they both quietly acknowledged that neither of them were “defective” or wrong for who they are. Sometimes all it takes to figure that out is dying. Together, they made their way back downstairs.