Archive of Our Own

[A TRANSCRIPTION OF A DISCORD CALL]

SPYFALL STARTED A CALL THAT LASTED 2 HOURS.
[...]
CRANBERRY: -shit, green’s heading to our base.
SPYFALL: Where are you?
CRANBERRY: I’m at mid; I’m heading back right now
SPYFALL: Okay, okay- fuck! Hurry up, man!
CRANBERRY: Is he there?
SPYFALL: Yeah- shit, he knocked me off!
CRANBERRY: Did he get our bed”
SPYFALL: He’s trying now, yeah. I’m punching him with my fists. Where the fuck are you?
CRANBERRY: Shit, his teammate’s heading me off!
SPYFALL: I just died. [Their hands slam against the table] Fuck! Well, there goes that, I guess.
CRANBERRY: No, no, we still have a chance, I got his teammate. Okay, I’m on my way back.
SPYFALL: Hurry up!
CRANBERRY: I’m tryi- [They stop, abruptly] Shit, did you hear that?
SPYFALL: Hear what?
CRANBERRY: [Their voice gets fainter, as if they’ve moved away from the mic] Shit, shit, what was that?
SPYFALL: Dude, he’s getting our bed! Where are you? [There’s a beat of silence] Cran?
CRANBERRY: Can you hear that?
SPYFALL: Hear what?
CRANBERRY: [The sound of shuffling comes over their mic. When they speak again, their voice is even quieter, as if they’ve moved his microphone away. There’s a few seconds of silence.] That. The singing. The music. Can you hear it?
SPYFALL: Dude, what are you-
CRANBERRY: Shh! [Spyfall falls quiet, and as they do, the sounds of a faint, discordant note can be heard over the call. It almost sounds as if it’s coming from an out of tune piano]
SPYFALL: Oh. Oh, shit, man.
CRANBERRY: Fuck. Hold on, I’m going to go check the camera. [There’s a sound of footsteps and shuffling.] Oh, shit. I have to go into the kitchen.
SPYFALL: Do you see anything?
[There’s no verbal reply. Instead, the sounds of shuffling and footsteps get louder and more frantic for a half or minute or so before stopping.]
CRANBERRY: I’ve got it. I’m hooking it up to my PC now.
SPYFALL: Okay.
[There’s a beat of silence]
SPYFALL: Can you still hear it?
CRANBERRY: Uh- [They pause for a moment] Yeah, but only if I take my headphones off. It’s gotten a lot quieter
SPYFALL: Maybe it’s just some guy practicing some instrument in some nearby place?
CRANBERRY: No, my house is too far off from the rest of the town.
SPYFALL: Are you sure? Isn’t New L’Manberg a pretty small place?
CRANBERRY: Not small enough that I can hear everything that goes on. [The two fall silent for a moment.] Okay. I’ve got the file from the past hour.
SPYFALL: Screenshare with me?
CRANBERRY: Oh, yeah. Give me a moment.

CRANBERRY: Right. Okay.
[The mouse on screen hits play on the video.]

SPYFALL: Can you skip to the last few minutes? From when you heard the sound.
CRANBERRY: Oh, yeah. Good idea.


CRANBERRY: There. Do you see that?
SPYFALL: Oh, shit, kinda.
CRANBERRY: Hold on. [The Windows snipping tool suddenly appears on screen, and it takes a snip of that corner. Photoshop is then opened on the screen.] Going to brighten it and see what happens.
SPYFALL: Fuck, man. This is kinda freaky.
CRANBERRY: Look at that.

SPYFALL: Holy shit.
[A beat of silence]
SPYFALL: Can you go back to the video?
CRANBERRY: Yeah, sure.
[The video file is opened again]
SPYFALL: Press play.
[A picture of the kitchen.]
[For a few seconds, nothing really changes.]
CRANBERRY: Holy fuck.

CRANBERRY: Is something moving?
SPYFALL: Wait, go back.
[The video rewinds, and the last few seconds are played again.]


SPYFALL: Holy shit.
CRANBERRY: Fuck, fuck. [Their breathing gets shaky.] Shit, what if this really is something?
SPYFALL: Fuck, man. What are you gonna do?
CRANBERRY: Shit. I don’t know. [They pause.] There’s no way I’m sleeping tonight now.
SPYFALL: Can you leave the house? Go stay at a friend’s place or something.
CRANBERRY: I don’t know anyone in town well enough for that.
[There’s a beat of silence.]
CRANBERRY: Do you mind staying on call?
SPYFALL: Uh- [They hesitate] My- my parents wanted me in bed like- five minutes ago. I can probably stretch it for like another few minutes but- yeah. Sorry.
CRANBERRY: Oh. Okay. [A shaky breath is taken] Yeah, no, that’s fine. You can go now if you need to. Thanks anyway, man.
SPYFALL: Of course. Can you still hear it?
CRANBERRY: [Some shuffling is heard once again.] No. I think it’s gone.
SPYFALL: Okay. That’s good.
CRANBERRY: Yeah. That’s good. [They hesitate.] I’ll see you tomorrow, then.
SPYFALL: Right, yeah. See you tomorrow.
[SPYFALL HAS LEFT THE CALL]

[TRANSCRIPT END]

[A TRANSCRIPT OF A SECTION FROM THE EPISODE “HAUNTINGS, III,” FROM THE PODCAST MYSTIC MYSTERIES]
[...]
ASTER: Cranberry, thank you for taking the time to sit down with us today.
CRANBERRY: Of course! Thank you for having me.
ASTER: Anytime, anytime. Now, why don’t you start by giving a short introduction about yourself?
CRANBERRY: Well, um, hi! I’m Cranberry, but my friends all just call me Cran. [nervous laugh] I’m 17 and live in New L’Manberg, and I’m, um, pretty into history, I guess. Yeah. That’s about it.
AVERILL: New L’Manberg? That’s the place that one musical was about, wasn’t it? Soot, or something like that?
CRANBERRY: [laughing] Yeah, yeah, I guess it was. It’s…it’s a pretty small place, but it’s got an…interesting past. I guess.
ASTER: Oh, wow! I- I almost feel like I’m meeting a celebrity. You know, I was such a big fan of Soot a few years back.
CRANBERRY: Were you?
ASTER: Yeah, yeah! Averill knows; I was insufferable.
AVERILL: You really were.
[The three laugh]
ASTER: Well, anyhow, as much as I would love to spend the next hour talking about Soot, that’s not what we’re here to discuss, is it?
CRANBERRY: Unfortunately, no.
AVERILL: Cran, would you mind giving us a rundown of your situation? What’s been happening, how long it’s been happening, et cetera. Stuff like that.
CRANBERRY: Yeah, yeah. Um, well, I’d say it’s kind of been happening my entire life? I remember being a kid and sometimes waking up in the middle of the night to- to- odd sounds, I guess. My parents actually used to think I had some sleep disorder for how much I struggled to fall asleep at night. [He laughs.] But, uh, it’s been getting a lot worse recently. A few days ago, it went from, like, mild things that I could just write off as my mind being paranoid to things I- I couldn’t explain.
ASTER: And what were these things, if I may ask?
CRANBERRY: Well, a few days ago, I started hearing this odd…singing, I think, in the middle of the night. And I say singing, but singing’s a bit of a generous term. It’s more like an…off-key piano or guitar, if you know what I mean.
AVERILL: Is this the type of sound that you used to say woke you up as a kid?
CRANBERRY: …Kind of? It’s always- I think it’s always been some sort of music, but it used to be a lot…fainter, and I couldn’t ever really tell what it was. It was only recently, when it started getting louder and clearer that I realized that it was a song of sorts.
AVERILL: Could you maybe sing or, say, hum, what you’ve been hearing for us?
CRANBERRY: [laughing] I’m not really a singer.
ASTER: Aw, man! And here I was thinking I’d found another musical theater kid.
CRANBERRY: [laughing even harder] But- but! I do play a few instruments, and I actually do have pretty good pitch. So, uh, a few days ago, I took the time to sit down and actually [shuffling can be heard on his side] write down the notes that I think I’ve been hearing here.
AVERILL: Oh, wow! That’s impressive.
CRANBERRY: Yeah, well. Gotta keep yourself entertained somehow when this is all you hear at night, am I right?
AVERILL: Of course. Could you read it off for us?
ASTER: Oh, actually, you know what we could do? [some shuffling is heard on his side] I actually have a guitar right here. I can play along and give our non-musically inclined listeners an idea of what exactly it is you’ve been hearing.
CRANBERRY: Oh, yeah! That’s perfect. And yeah, I can read it off.
ASTER: I’m ready whenever you are.
CRANBERRY: Right, okay, okay. Alright. So, we start with a middle E [as he speaks, guitar chords can be heard from Aster’s microphone], and then a middle G, three middle As, middle G, three middle Es, middle G, 3 middle As, G, E, F, G, and C. [When he stops speaking, the music stops as well, and for a few seconds the recording is quiet, before Cranberry continues, speaking a bit hurriedly.] That’s the main one I hear, anyway. There’s a few other arrangements I think I’ve been hearing, but they don’t happen often enough for me to get the notes down.
AVERILL: …Wow.
CRANBERRY: Well, it sounds a lot creepier when it’s out of tune. It actually sounded kind of nice when you played it.
ASTER: [laughing] Of course.
AVERILL: Ah, I’m sure I’ve heard that before! [She snaps her fingers] Aster, help me out here.
ASTER: Hey, man, you know I only know musical songs! You’re asking the wrong guy here.
CRANBERRY: Yeah, no, I get what you mean, Averill. I’ve been thinking it sounded familiar as well, but I’ve never been able to put a finger on it.
AVERILL: Aargh! I swear, it’s right there!
[A second or so of silence passes]
ASTER: Well, we’ll come back to this if Averill figures it out. In the meantime, Cran, what else have you been experiencing?
CRANBERRY: Uh, well, it’s mostly just been the weird music for most of my life, but recently I’ve also begun noticing odd…shadows, or shapes, kind of, around my house. It’s also- it’s also weirdly…humanoid. It’s- it’s really hard to describe. You guys- you guys have those pictures I sent you yesterday, right?
AVERILL: Oh, yes, we do! They’ll be on screen right about now, actually. And, for our listeners, these will be linked in the description of the episode.
CRANBERRY: Yeah, well, those were all taken over the span of the past few days. The- the freakiest ones- like the ones where you can just see…it were all taken in a single day.
ASTER: Oh, yeah. Like, the one where it’s just this thing is just standing in the window? That one gave me the heebie-jeebies all night.
CRANBERRY: …Yeah.
AVERILL: I can’t even begin to imagine how much this must have been for you to experience.
CRANBERRY: Yeah, it’s been…something.
ASTER: Are you still living in that house right now?
CRANBERRY: No, no. I’ve been bunking at my neighbor’s place until my parents get home.
ASTER: Ah, right. That’s good. Oh, and speaking of which, where are your parents?
CRANBERRY: They’re out on a business trip. They’re due back in two days.
AVERILL: Would you not be able to get them to come home earlier?
CRANBERRY: It’s an important business trip, I suppose.
ASTER: I see, I see. Well, I’m sorry this is happening to you, Cran.
CRANBERRY: Thank you.
ASTER: Is that all that’s happened so far?
CRANBERRY: Uh…yeah. I think so.
AVERILL: Well, this definitely does sound like a haunting.
ASTER: You know what? I’m not surprised. In a town with a history like…like that? I’d honestly be more surprised if it weren’t haunted.
CRANBERRY: Hah. Yeah, I mean, I…guess.
ASTER: [laughing] You guess? You know what, it’s always been somewhat beyond me why they even rebuilt it after everything. I mean, there has to be some sort of bad juju going on there now.
CRANBERRY: I…I mean, I’ve never really…thought of it like that.
ASTER: Really?
CRANBERRY: Yeah. I mean, it’s just…part of the town. I’ve always just thought it was…interesting. Not really scary, or anything. Just…there.
AVERILL: Alright, I’m being left out of the loop here. What exactly is the history of New L’Manberg, anyway?
ASTER: Well, it’s-
CRANBERRY: [talking quickly and stumbling over his words] It’s- Well, basically, there was the old L’Manberg, and it was this really small- it can’t even really be called a nation, it was like four guys and they were all, like, kind of, sort of, related. And they fought this huge battle to get this small piece of land that they built up, and then as the place grew people started joining. One of these guys, some guy named Schlatt who we don’t know the last name of, ended up running for president against the founder of the place, Soot, and he ended up losing and being exiled. He formed this huge resistance after- Schlatt was apparently a horrible leader- and came back to win the nation back, but he ended up blowing up the place even though they won the battle and Schlatt had died. It’s this huge debate as to why he did it that we still don’t really know the answer to. Everyone thinks he just like, went insane and became an anarchist or something- largely due to the fault of the musical propagating the take- but there are still so many pieces missing, so we can’t say anything for certain.
[A brief silence]
CRANBERRY: …But, but, yeah. That’s the gist of it. Sorry. I- I get excited about this kind of stuff.
AVERILL: No, no, that was really interesting!
CRANBERRY: [nervous laughter] Yeah. Uh- Aster, you can continue. Sorry. Kind of cut you off there.
ASTER: No, it’s okay! You summed it up a lot better than I could have.
AVERILL: That definitely seems like the backstory of a haunted place.
ASTER: See, you get what I mean! That crater too? Under your town? That thing has always creeped me out. You’d think they’d fill that up at this point. Isn’t that a safety hazard?
CRANBERRY: Not really. They have safety railings everywhere.
ASTER: Yeah, but there have definitely been some accidents involving that thing. That thing is infested with ghosts, let me tell you.
CRANBERRY: Hm. I guess. [He shrugs.] I dunno. I- I think I just see it differently. Like I said. It’s not really something that…scares me. It’s just…there.
[A silence falls over the three.]
AVERILL: [with a snap of her fingers] I got it!
ASTER: Got what?
AVERILL: The song- the song I was thinking of. It’s “Hallelujah!”
ASTER: …Like that old Christmas song?
AVERILL: Yeah! Wait, Aster, can you play it again?
ASTER: I’m- I’m not sure if I remember the notes.
AVERILL: Just do the first couple. What was it again, Cran?
CRANBERRY: Uh, hold on. [Some more shuffling is heard.] Right, it’s middle A [Aster begins playing again], G, A, A, A, G-
AVERILL: Yeah! That’s “Hallelujah!”
ASTER: Oh, shit. I think you’re right.
CRANBERRY: Oh. Huh. Interesting.
ASTER: …What kind of ghost sings “Hallelujah” in the middle of the night?
AVERILL: Maybe it’s some sort of… ghost of Christmas. A ghost of Christmas past. That’s a thing, right?
ASTER: Averill, it’s the middle of April.
AVERILL: Hey, maybe ghosts have a different calendar than us! You never know.
[Aster begins to respond, but then, an alarm goes off.]
ASTER: Oh, shit. Well, Cran, it unfortunately looks like your time with us is coming to a close.
CRANBERRY: Aw, darn.
AVERILL: Hey, time flies when you’re having fun, huh?
ASTER: Yes, yes. Well, Cran, we wish you luck with your ghost of… Christmas, I guess, who’s haunting your house in… April for some reason. And, also? Be sure to hit me up sometime- I’d love to talk more about Soot.
CRANBERRY: [laughing] I’ll be sure to take you up on that offer.
ASTER: Good. Right. Real quick before you go! Is there anything you’d like to shout out to the viewers?
CRANBERRY: Uh- if you were at all interested in my little history rant earlier, follow me on Twitter at cranberrymint with an underscore at the end! I talk about that stuff a lot there. And- and yeah. That’s all.
[...]
[TRANSCRIPT END]

[A TRANSCRIPTION OF AUDIO FROM VIDEO FOOTAGE, INTERLACED WITH PICTURES TAKEN FROM THE FOOTAGE]

CRANBERRY: Alright, well- [He laughs. Well, I guess I’m gonna have to get used to talking to myself. Uhh, well, I’m about to climb in. I have all my gear here with me. I’m not going to lie, I am suddenly feeling… very woefully unprepared. [He laughs nervously] But- but no going back now, I guess.

[...]

CRANBERRY: Well. Here goes nothing.

[...]

CRANBERRY: …I think I’m just going to not look down at all. If I can’t see it, it can’t hurt me.

[...]

CRANBERRY: This is… a lot slower than I thought it would be.

[...]

CRANBERRY: …This might take a while.

[...]

CRANBERRY: Around half an hour in. My arms and legs already hurt like hell, so that’s not…the best sign in the world.

[...]

CRANBERRY: Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. That’s such a fucking far fall. [shaky breath] Okay. Whatever. I got this.

[...]

CRANBERRY: Almost an hour in and around halfway through. This… might not have been my brightest idea.

[...]

CRANBERRY: Maybe Fae was right.

[...]

CRANBERRY: What if I don’t even find anything? And then all I’ve got to show when my parents show back up is a haunted house, a corpse under my house, and a week of late schoolwork.

[...]

CRANBERRY: No. No, I’ll find something.

[...]

CRANBERRY: Almost there. I’m almost there.

[...]

[a picture of the foliage that had been at the bottom of the crater right below the camera.]

CRANBERRY: [a relieved sigh] Oh, thank fuck. [a thumping sound can be heard, like someone jumping down from a small height.] Oh, what- what the fuck? [frantic scrambling can be heard. After a few seconds, it stops.] This thing- this thing isn’t fucking solid.

[A pause. More rustling is heard as Cranberry walks around, tapping places on the foliage tentatively.]

CRANBERRY: It’s- it’s solid in some places- but it’s like- [a brief pause] Not what I was expecting. It feels more like…like- the solid bits feel kinda like the kind of texture that, like, the outside of… fruit is. And in the other places, there’s like- holes.

CRANBERRY: I think I can fit through this one. [He hesitates for a moment.]

CRANBERRY: I think I have to go down, right? Like, I’ve already come so far.

[There’s a brief pause.]

CRANBERRY: Yeah. Yeah, I’ll go down.

[Some shuffling can be heard for a few minutes, as Cranberry gets his gear together. And then, all that can be heard for a few seconds is the rustling of leaves, before it all goes silent.

CRANBERRY: [taking a breath] Well, here goes nothing. Again.

[...]

CRANBERRY: A few minutes into climbing down this new thing. This was… a bad idea.

[...]

CRANBERRY: Around a half an hour into this new pit, I think. Still no sign of a bottom. The light that came through the plants is starting to go away.

[...]

CRANBERRY: [His voice echoes on the walls] It’s so dark. I can barely see anymore.

[...]

CRANBERRY: Fuck! [clambering can be heard, and some pebbles come loose from the wall.] Fuck, shit, fuck. Fuck.

[The commotion dies down a few seconds later]

CRANBERRY: Fuck. Okay. Okay.

[...]

CRANBERRY: I think it’s been around an hour. The camera should be going in a bit. [a pause] I should head back up.

[...]

CRANBERRY: Shit. I just realized I didn’t hear the rocks from earlier hit the bottom. Like, at all.

[a brief pause]

CRANBERRY: How deep is this thing?

[...]

[...]

CRANBERRY: Weird as hell. My arms don’t hurt anymore.

[...]

[...]

CRANBERRY: How long has it been?

[...]

[...]

[...]

[...]

[The sound of metal echoes through the crater.]

CRANBERRY: …Huh.

CRANBERRY: …Where am I?

CRANBERRY: What is this?

[...]

CRANBERRY: Shit, this thing is pretty long.

[...]

CRANBERRY: …Are those train tracks?

[...]

CRANBERRY: This looks like- this looks like some sort of old subway. Like- old L’Manberg era old. Wow. [nervous laughter] Who knew this was down here?

[...]

[...]

CRANBERRY: I think the tunnel’s getting wider.

[...]

CRANBERRY: …What is that?

[the sounds of footsteps begin to get faster, as Cranberry begins to start running.

CRANBERRY: Wait- what-

[the footsteps come to an abrupt halt.]

CRANBERRY: …

CRANBERRY: …Hello?

???: …Hello.

[His voice is hoarse, like it hasn’t been used in a long time.]

CRANBERRY: Who- who are you ?

[A long pause. The figure doesn’t respond immediately.]

???: You’re…you’re the kid.

CRANBERRY: …What?

[The man stands up slowly]

???: The kid. You…you live in the house.

CRANBERRY: [after a pause] …You’re Soot.

???: …Soot? [a pause] Oh. Oh. [another pause] Wilbur. Call- call me Wilbur.

CRANBERRY: …Wilbur. [a pause] Right. Well. I’m Cranberry. Nice- nice to meet you?

WILBUR: [with a dry laugh] Yeah. Nice to meet you too.

CRANBERRY: How- how are you still alive?

WILBUR: I’m not. H- how did you get down here?

CRANBERRY: I climbed. Down the crater.

WILBUR: The crater?

CRANBERRY: The crater under New L’Manberg.

WILBUR: …Is that where I am?

CRANBERRY: Uh- I think so. Something like that.

WILBUR: [his voice breaking] Then, wh- why hasn’t anyone found me yet?

CRANBERRY: …It was really far down. There was a barricade of sorts- I had to climb through it.

WILBUR: Were you…looking for me, then?

CRANBERRY: Kind of. I was looking for…I was looking for something, and I thought that thi- person- might be you.

WILBUR: …Why?

CRANBERRY: …Because you’re the one haunting my house, right?

WILBUR: …Haunting?

CRANBERRY: Yeah. Like, lurking in corners. Standing over my bed. Singing songs at night. All that stuff. Trying to scare me.

WILBUR: Oh. [A look of realization dawns on his face.] Oh, fuck. I’m so sorry.

CRANBERRY: …What?

WILBUR: I just thought- [His voice breaks again.] Shit, I’m so sorry. I just- I just wanted to see the world again. I didn’t know you could see me.

CRANBERRY: I…I have so many questions.

WILBUR: Right. Right, of course you do. Well, go ahead, then.

CRANBERRY: How- how did you hau- how did you get into my house?

WILBUR: It’s a… long story. I guess.

CRANBERRY: I have the time.

WILBUR: Right. Well. It’s- it’s kind of hard to explain. But sometimes, when I close my eyes, I- I can see the outside. Barely, but I can still…see it. But I could only ever see this one place- I guess that place was your house, then. And then a few months ago I was suddenly able to…move. And look around. And sometimes I could see…you. And I’d just- I’d walk around until I’d lose focus and end up back here.

CRANBERRY: …How?

WILBUR: [dry laughter] Fuck if I know. My guess? My mum has finally taken some pity on me.

CRANBERRY: Your mum?

WILBUR: Yeah. The goddess of death.

CRANBERRY: …What?

WILBUR: [taken aback] You- you didn’t know?

CRANBERRY: No! Everyone- everyone just thinks your mum was some random- [a pause] traveler. I guess.

WILBUR: Oh. That’s…wow.

[a pause]

WILBUR: Am I…well known?

CRANBERRY: Yeah. Yeah, you are.

WILBUR: …And do- do they hate me?

CRANBERRY: What?

WILBUR: The people who live in L’Manberg. Do they hate me?

CRANBERRY: [after a long pause] We don’t learn a lot about you in history. They just kind of tell us about what you did and leave it at that. No one really knows why- why you did it. A lot of people just think you were a crazy terrorist.

WILBUR: …Oh. Yeah. That checks out.

CRANBERRY: I don’t, though. I’ve always thought there was more to it.

WILBUR: [a dry laugh] Yeah. How long has it been?

CRANBERRY: Since you died? Around four centuries.

WILBUR: Shit, really?

CRANBERRY: Yeah.

WILBUR: …It feels like it’s been a lot longer down here.

CRANBERRY: Have you been here the whole time?

WILBUR: As far as I’m aware.

CRANBERRY: Is this where everyone goes when they die?

WILBUR: I don’t know.

CRANBERRY: Have you seen anyone else?

WILBUR: Nope. Just you.

[a pause]

WILBUR: What about Tommy?

CRANBERRY: Tommy? Tommy Innit?

WILBUR: Yeah. How- how did he…go?

CRANBERRY: What?

WILBUR: [his voice getting softer and shakier] How did he die?

CRANBERRY: Oh! Oh. It- it was old age. Some sort of illness when he was in his 80s.

WILBUR: Okay. Okay. Good. What- what about Tubbo? And Fundy? And- and Niki?

CRANBERRY: President Tubbo was old age as well. And- and I don’t remember the other two. I don’t think it was ever recorded.

WILBUR: Okay. Okay.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: Can I ask you something?

WILBUR: Yeah?

CRANBERRY: The song that you keep singing. I can hear it sometimes. Is that the old anthem of New L’Manberg?

WILBUR: …Old anthem?

CRANBERRY: Oh, shit, yeah. They changed the anthem a few centuries back, apparently. Some sort of copyright law.

WILBUR: …They did?

CRANBERRY: Yeah.

WILBUR: …Oh. [A pause] Uh- yeah. Yeah, it is, I guess.

CRANBERRY: Can you sing it? Like, properly?

WILBUR: Oh. Sure, I guess. My voice isn’t the best anymore, though.

CRANBERRY: I don’t really care.

WILBUR: Okay. Okay. [He clears his throat.] Ahem. Um.

I heard there was a special place

Where men could go and emancipate

The brutality and tyranny of their rulers

Well this place is real, you needn’t fret

With Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, fuck Eret

It’s a very big and not blown up L’Manberg

[He stops and hesitates, before continuing, louder and with more confidence]

My L’Manberg

My L’Manberg

My L’Manberg

My L’Manberg

[A silence sits in the air for a while after he finishes]

CRANBERRY: Were you a singer?

WILBUR: Somewhat. I played at pubs sometimes.

CRANBERRY: …We never learned about that. I never learned about that.

WILBUR: Yeah, well. Doesn’t really fit the image of “crazy evil terrorist,” does it?

CRANBERRY: I- I guess not.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: Why did you do it?

[A long, poignant pause]

WILBUR: …I was scared.

CRANBERRY: Of what?

WILBUR: …I don’t know. I guess I was scared that it couldn’t be saved. I thought it was a lost cause.

CRANBERRY: But didn’t you destroy it right after you won it back?

WILBUR: I thought it’d never get better. I thought it’d never recover. I thought the merciful thing to do would be to destroy it.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: But it did, didn’t it? It did get better. It got a lot better.

WILBUR: …It did?

CRANBERRY: Yeah, it did. You should see it now. New L’Manberg- it’s thriving. It’s got so many people and so many interesting things about it and- and- it’s flourishing, really. It’s amazing.

WILBUR: …Is it?

CRANBERRY: Yeah. From everything I’ve read, President Tubbo- he really made it into what it is now.

WILBUR: [chuckling] I always thought he was a good kid.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: It’s why they hate you. They thought you were trying to destroy what they have now. They look around at the community and lights and wonder why anyone would ever dare to want to get rid of this.

WILBUR: It wasn’t like that when Schlatt was in charge.

CRANBERRY: But it’s like that now.

WILBUR: …I thought- I thought we were lost . That the L’Manberg I built was gone . Whenever I looked around I just saw them… fighting and…. And I thought, if I kept it going, all it’d do was cause more people to suffer. It’d be a loop that never ended.

CRANBERRY: But it wasn’t.

WILBUR: …But it wasn’t.

[A long pause]

WILBUR: I thought I was a lost cause.

CRANBERRY: What?

WILBUR: I thought I was too far gone. I thought I had lost everything. I thought I had to go.

CRANBERRY: So…so you destroyed your own nation?

WILBUR: I thought L’Manberg was just as gone as me.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: …Was…was it a- [hesitating] Was it a suicide attempt?

WILBUR: …What?

CRANBERRY: It’s- it’s a theory some of us had. That there wasn’t any safety in the room. That if your father hadn’t saved you, you would’ve died. That had to have- I can’t believe you just overlooked that.

WILBUR: [after a long pause] …I guess it was. In a way.

CRANBERRY: Yeah?

WILBUR: I was trying to get rid of L’Manberg. I was trying to get rid of myself. It was synonymous to me. Which one I wanted didn’t matter. They both had to go.

[a pause]

WILBUR: Is- is L’Manberg really okay now?

CRANBERRY: Yeah. It’s better than ever.

WILBUR: And Tommy and Tubbo and- and all of them- they all went peacefully?

CRANBERRY: As far as we know, yeah.

[Wilbur smiles sadly]

WILBUR: Okay. Okay. I can live with that.

[a pause]

CRANBERRY: Uh- how do I…get out of here?

WILBUR: Well, how did you get down?

CRANBERRY: I told you. I climbed.

WILBUR: Well, then. Climb back out.

CRANBERRY: I- [hesitating] I- Yeah. I guess.

WILBUR: Come on. [He stands and heads towards the train tracks] Which way?

CRANBERRY: Huh?

WILBUR: To wherever you came from. That’s the way you’ll leave, right?

CRANBERRY: Oh. Oh, yeah. Uh- [He points towards the direction he came from.] There.

WILBUR: Let’s go, then.

CRANBERRY: Wait- just- now ?

WILBUR: [confused] …Yes? When else?

CRANBERRY: I- I- Can’t we wait? For just a bit longer? I- I still want to ask you some things.

WILBUR: Oh. Alright, then. Ask away.

CRANBERRY: Uh- [He hesitates, trying to think of something] They- they made a musical about you.

WILBUR: [looking visibly taken aback] …What?

CRANBERRY: Yeah. Soot: The Musical . It’s about you and L’Manberg, and all that.

WILBUR: Oh. Oh, wow . [He laughs, still somewhat confused] Is- Is it good?

CRANBERRY: …Not really.

WILBUR: [He laughs again, this time louder and more fully] Somehow, I’m not surprised to hear that.

CRANBERRY: I mean, technically, it’s really good. I just don’t like the story.

WILBUR: The story being my life?

CRANBERRY: No. Your life with…creative liberties taken.

WILBUR: What kind of creative liberties?

CRANBERRY: Like- Like- [He hesitates]

WILBUR: [The laugh falls off his face] Oh. I’m the villain in it, aren’t I?

CRANBERRY: Uh…Yeah. Somewhat.
WILBUR: Oh.

[A pause]

WILBUR: Is that how everyone sees me?

CRANBERRY: …It’s how…fans of the musical see you.

WILBUR: And how many people is that?

CRANBERRY: …A- a lot.

WILBUR: Oh. Wow. [a pause, and then Wilbur chuckles, dry and sad] Well, at least I’m famous, then, I guess.

CRANBERRY: Does it bother you?

WILBUR: What?

CRANBERRY: The way they see you. I mean- they barely even think of you as the founder anymore. It’s always more about President Tubbo and Innit.

[A long pause.]

WILBUR: …No. No, it doesn’t. I knew what I was doing when I made my choices. I knew I was the villain even when I was alive. And Tommy and Tubbo getting the credit for L’Manberg…I’m- I’m okay with that.

CRANBERRY: You really care about them.

WILBUR: …Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

CRANBERRY: You… guess ?

WILBUR: Well, I don’t know. Is it weird to care about people who hate you?

CRANBERRY: [after a long deliberation] No. No, not at all.

WILBUR: Then, yeah. I do care about them.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: I have a friend who hates me.

WILBUR: Really?

CRANBERRY: Yeah. He- we got into a disagreement, cause he didn’t want me coming down here. And I got mad at him. And now I’m starting to think it was a bit pointless. He was probably right, anyway. This was a really stupid idea.

WILBUR: [laughing] Yeah, kid. You could say that again.

CRANBERRY: Is that how you see Inni- Tommy and Tubbo, I mean - is that how you see them?

WILBUR: …I guess.

[A pause]

WILBUR: It’s like- [He hesitates] It’s like I don’t deserve to want them to be okay.

CRANBERRY: Why?

WILBUR: Because I hurt them. …They’d just won it back, you know? I made…I made Tubbo president and everything. I…god. You should’ve seen how… hopeful they were. And there I was. Tearing it all away from them.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: I think you’re still allowed to care about the people you hurt.

WILBUR: …Yeah?

CRANBERRY: Yeah. Because it just means you want to make things right with them.

WILBUR: …Yeah, I guess.

[A pause]

WILBUR: Anything else you wanted to ask me?

CRANBERRY: Oh! Oh, uh- [He hesitates again] Well, uh- Uh-

WILBUR: I’ll take that as a no.

CRANBERRY: No! No, I have something. I- uh-

[Before he can finish his sentence, an announcement can be heard over an intercom. It is made in a robotic, feminine voice, and seems to be coming over a speaker.]

VOICE: A train is now approaching your station. Please stand back from the platform edge and behind the yellow line as the train approaches, use the full length of the platform and let passengers off the train first."

[A silence falls over the station afterwards.]

[Suddenly, a ticket falls out of the broken ticket dispenser on the side of the tracks.]

[Cranberry hesitates, before stepping forward to take it.]

CRANBERRY: …What?

WILBUR: …Huh. I’ve never seen it do that before.

CRANBERRY: What was that?

WILBUR: Your ticket out, I suppose.

CRANBERRY: What?

WILBUR: I guess it’s because you’re still living. They can’t have you stay down here.

CRANBERRY: How do you know it’s not for you? The train, I mean.

WILBUR: [with a startled laugh] Because it’s never been for me.

CRANBERRY: You’ve seen it before?

WILBUR: Early on, trains appeared sometimes. But they’d never let me step on. Not without a ticket.

CRANBERRY: …Oh.

[A pause]

WILBUR: Well, guess we just wait for the train to arrive now.

CRANBERRY: How long will that be?

WILBUR: A few minutes? An hour? A day? Who knows. Time is odd here.

[A long, awkward pause]

WILBUR: Alright, this is lame. We should play a game.

CRANBERRY: What kind of game?

WILBUR: Dunno. How ‘bout this? I ask you a question, and then you ask me one.

CRANBERRY: …Sure.

WILBUR: Right, okay. Hmm. [A pause] Alright. How did you know I was the one in your house?

CRANBERRY: I figured it out. I could hear the song you were singing a lot of the time, and I worked out that it might’ve been the old anthem. And then I figured out that my house is like- in the exact same place you died.

WILBUR: Really? That explains why I can be there of all places, then.

CRANBERRY: Yeah. I actually- I actually found your body under my house.

WILBUR: You…you what?

CRANBERRY: I went looking a few days back. I found the room you died in. Your body was still there.

WILBUR: Was it?

CRANBERRY: Yep.

WILBUR: Wow. [A pause] Did they never bury me?

CRANBERRY: Uh- No. I- I guess not.

WILBUR: …Oh.

[A pause]

WILBUR: Alright. Your turn.

CRANBERRY: Oh. Um. Right. What does the writing in the walls of the room where you died say?

WILBUR: Oh. That. It’s the lyrics to the anthem.

CRANBERRY: Oh. …Why did you write it there?

WILBUR: …I don’t know. I guess I wanted a reminder of what that place used to be.

CRANBERRY: Ah. Yeah. I see. [a pause] Your turn.

WILBUR: When was the first time you saw me?

CRANBERRY: Around two weeks ago.

WILBUR: Oh. Hm. Interesting.

[A pause]

WILBUR: Your turn.

CRANBERRY: Why did you guys call it L’Manberg?

WILBUR: “Manberg” because at the time the entire population was male. And then the “L’ “ to make it sound more British.

CRANBERRY: [laughing] Really?

WILBUR: Yeah.

CRANBERRY: Wow. You- You have no idea. People- everyone thinks it’s much deeper.

WILBUR: [laughing] Well, it’s not. We were just joking around. We- we never thought it would get so big.

[A pause]

WILBUR: Oh. Right. Yeah. Let’s see. [A pause] Has your family always lived in L’Ma- New L’Manberg?

CRANBERRY: As far as I can tell, yeah.

WILBUR: Wow. That’s great.

CRANBERRY: Yeah. Is it spelled with an “e” or an “u”?

WILBUR: What?

CRANBERRY: The “berg” in “L’Manberg.” All of the documents we still have from your time switches between the two spellings.

WILBUR: Oh! [He begins to laugh] Honestly? I don’t know. Choose whatever you want.

CRANBERRY: [laughing as well] You know, these weren’t the answers to my burning questions I was hoping for.

WILBUR: Well, I’m sorry to be a disappointment. But, really. It wasn’t that serious of a thing in the beginning. We were just- we were just some friends messing around. Wanting to be safe. We never thought- I never thought… [He trails off.]

[A pause. After a while, a faint sound can be heard in the distance.]

CRANBERRY: …Huh?

[The sound gets louder, and as it keeps going, a train pulls into the station.]

WILBUR: Well, kid, looks like that’s your ride. You should probably get out of here now.

CRANBERRY: Wait. Wait. Wh- what about you?

[Wilbur seems taken aback, for a moment.]

WILBUR: I’m stuck down here. Come on. I’ve told you. There’s nothing I can do about it.

CRANBERRY: Are- are you sure? That’s- what?

WILBUR: Come on. It’s been so long. Don’t you think I’ve tried everything by now? Trust me. There’s no way out.

CRANBERRY: What if- what if- what if you climbed out?

WILBUR: I’ve tried. It doesn’t work.

CRANBERRY: I have the gear for it. You could try again.

WILBUR: No, I mean I physically can’t climb higher than a few feet. Some sort of…barrier stops me.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: What if you get on the train?

WILBUR: Already tried. Doesn’t work without a ticket. Here. [He steps forwards, and walks past Cranberry towards the train. The moment he places a foot over the yellow line on the ground, he’s suddenly pushed backwards.] See?

[Cranberry doesn’t respond]

WILBUR: Honestly. [He smiles sadly] It’s fine.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: It just… it feels wrong leaving you here.

WILBUR: [chuckling] It’s okay. I’ve come to terms with it. It’s- This is my punishment. The least I can do is take it lying down.

CRANBERRY: You shouldn’t have had to have suffered for so long, though. This- [He gestures at their surroundings] This is inhumane for anyone.

WILBUR: [with a shrug] Well, it is what it is.

[A pause]

WILBUR: You’ve already done enough for me, kid. Come on. Go enjoy your life again.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: …I can’t.

WILBUR: Yeah, you can. You can and you will. At least then, one of us will get to live. You’re not doing either of us any favors by refusing to go.

CRANBERRY: But-

WILBUR: No. No, you should go on your way.

[Slowly, reluctantly, Cranberry begins to walk towards the train.]

[When he’s a few feet from the door, he turns back.]

CRANBERRY: …What if you took my ticket?

WILBUR: What?

CRANBERRY: Well, I’d…I’d never offer it. I still- I still… want to live. But you’re older than me. You’re probably stronger than me. You’d probably win if you fought me for it.

WILBUR: Why would I do that?

CRANBERRY: So you could get out of here.

WILBUR: …No. I can’t do that.

CRANBERRY: Why?

WILBUR: Because…because then you’d be stuck here.

[A pause]

CRANBERRY: I wouldn’t blame you for it, you know.

WILBUR: …What?

CRANBERRY: If you did it. If you left me here forever. I’d be mad, yes. I’d wish I listened to- I’d wish I never came here. But I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to live. [A pause] Come on, Wilbur. What have you been dreaming of the past hundreds of years?

WILBUR: [He seems to be unable to speak for a few moments. When he finally finds his voice, he chuckles sadly.] It’s… selfish.

CRANBERRY: It’s not.

WILBUR: Well, I…I want to see the sun again. I want to watch it rise again. I want to run in the fields again. I want to see L’Manberg again; I want to see the version you describe where it’s still okay after everything. I- I guess I just want to live.

CRANBERRY: It’s not selfish to want to live.

WILBUR: …No. No, I guess not.

[A long, long pause]

CRANBERRY: I suppose I should get going.

WILBUR: Yeah. You should.

[A pause, in which neither are willing to turn away.]

[Cranberry finally turns after a long minute. He’s about to step on when Wilbur speaks again.]

WILBUR: You look like my son.

CRANBERRY: What?

WILBUR: My son. Fundy. You- you have the same face shape. Are- are you two related?

CRANBERRY: I- I don’t know. My parents have never mentioned anything.

WILBUR: Oh. [He smiles] Maybe you are. Or maybe you aren’t. Who knows, eh?

CRANBERRY: [He smiles back] Yeah. Who knows.

[A pause]

WILBUR: It was nice meeting you, kid. I hope you have a good life.

CRANBERRY: You too. Good luck to you, too.

WILBUR: Yeah. And, also… thank you.

CRANBERRY: For what?

WILBUR: For finding me. For giving me hope.

CRANBERRY: Oh. Of course. [He turns to look at the train] Anytime.

[TRANSCRIPT END]