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The stars, he’s so grateful for them.
Toya takes a giant breath of relief, his body finally registering that he was on the ground, have been for a while. Toya’s hands were still trembling from when he climbed that tree, but he’s glad he did. Who knows what would’ve happened to them otherwise? Akito sat next to him, chatting with An and Kohane across the fire.
He’s so grateful for them all. He can’t imagine a better group of people to experience new things with.
“Oi, Toya.” Akito nudges his shoulder. “You listening?”
“Hm?” He wasn’t. “Oh, I apologize.”
“That’s alright!” An smiles at him. “We were just talking about doing this again sometime.”
“Do you really think we should?” Toya considers it for a moment. He’d need to make more presentations then, to convince his father to let him go. They don’t actively fight anymore, but he still disapproves of street music and Akito in general. He doesn’t understand why; if he was happy, isn’t that enough? “I don’t know, I’ll still need to ask my father about it.”
“Ahhh, I guess that’s right.” She hums then thinks for a moment. “Hey, I overheard Tenma-senpai talking to Kamishiro-senpai the other day, is it true that his parents are trying to get custody of you?”
Akito scrunches his face and turns to look accusingly at Toya. It was supposed to be a secret, but yes. Tsukasa and Saki’s parents were trying to get custody of him. He doesn’t know if his dad would actually let them though, and his mother was clearly against the idea and was very vocal about it.
If he was being honest, this trip was supposed to partially help him keep his mind off things for now. Toya doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but it was so hard when Saki and Tsukasa kept texting him excitedly about how they’re already renovating a room for him to stay.
They were so optimistic that they were actually going to make him their legal brother. Tsukasa also said that even if they didn’t win, Toya was still welcome to stay over whenever he wanted, since he had an actual room there now.
“It’s true.”
Akito’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What?”
“Mmmn. My parents told me to keep it under wraps. I think they’re trying to fight back, or at least my mother is.”
“W- well!” Kohane speaks up. “I’m glad that Tsukasa-san and Saki-chan are trying to get you away from him!”
She fidgets but continues. “I didn’t believe it at first when you said you had to make a presentation to convince him. No child should ever need to do that. And you said that he almost didn’t agree…”
“I’m also glad you’re getting away from your shitty family, Toya.” An pipes in. “Even if you and your old man aren’t fighting anymore, you’re a lot happier with Tenma-senpai and his family.”
Akito nods vigorously, agreeing with unease still clearly on his face. “Me too, man. You deserve it.”
“Oh?” Toya smiles. “You don’t look so happy about that, Akito. Don’t you dislike Tsukasa-senpai?”
“I tolerate him for you…” Akito grumbles as An laughs loudly. “Seriously though, good for you Toya.”
Ah, Akito’s face was half illuminated by the warm campfire light, making his eyes twinkle. Toya raises his cup to his lip, trying to hide a flustered smile. He didn’t understand why he felt so giddy right now, or why he got warmer after Akito smiles too.
“Thank you, let’s hope that the Tenmas will win the custody battle then.” Toya really hoped that they did. Saki and Tsukasa… they were already doing a lot of work for him by redecorating a guest room for him. He’s very grateful for them too.
Surrounded by people who care about him and his happiness… Akito said once that this is what he deserved, that this is what life should be. Maybe he’s right.
Toya slumps into his camping chair, feeling nice and warm both inside and out.
…
Akito’s tent is fairly small, nothing like the bigger one An borrowed from Ken, but it’s comfortable, even if it’s a bit cramped. Maybe it used to be for a young Ena and Akito to share.
Toya is lying on his sleeping bag with his eyes closed as Akito changes. He finds the natural smell of mud and pines are much better than the artificial smell they put in colognes and air fresheners. It’s nicer, calmer. Toya probably would’ve dozed off if Akito didn’t collapse on top of him, knocking all the air from his lungs.
“Ack! Sorry partner, wasn’t looking.” Akito rolls over so they’re lying shoulder to shoulder, their stuff thrown haphazardly into a corner.
“It’s alright.” Toya just snuggles deeper into the sleeping bag as Akito gets into his own, turning off their lamp when he does. Toya can’t remember the last time he’s slept next to someone like this. Whenever he stays at Akito’s he gets a futon so he can sleep right next to Akito’s bed. When he’s at the Tenma’s, he’ll get the guest room that’s currently being turned into his room.
Akito is warm by his side, Toya can vaguely smell him on the pillow and inflatable mattress under him.
Bright, with a hint of floral. It’s Akito through and through.
He turns in his sleeping bag to sneak a glance of his partner, just to find that Akito is already looking at him, the lower half of his face covered by his own sleeping bag but his eyes were fond all the same.
“...What is it?”
“No, nothing.” Akito smiles. “I was just thinkin’.”
“About…?”
“Today.” Akito rolls his head to look at the ceiling of their tent. “You had fun, right? I’m glad.”
Toya turns his whole body so he can lay on his side, looking at Akito’s relaxed form lying beside him. He looks so warm and comfortable, Toya has half a mind to crawl into Akito’s sleeping bag to join him. “Thank you for helping me back to camp after I got down.”
“You’re welcome, I guess. Anyone else would’ve done the same.”
“No, not everyone. You’re not just anyone.” Toya points out. “If I really couldn’t get down, you would’ve offered to catch me.”
“That’s–!” Akito yanks his pillow from under him to smother his face. Toya giggles to himself, Akito’s reactions are always so interesting, he can’t help but provoke them whenever he gets a chance.
“Is it not true, Akito? Would you not catch me?”
Akito makes a squeaky noise under the pillow. “Toya, c’mon.”
“You’re so cute.” Toya laughs again, poking Akito’s hand, making him jolt. “I did enjoy today. I never imagined that camping could be this fun.”
“Watch what you’re saying.” Akito grumbles, turning to face his singing partner. “Camping’s alright. I think you enjoyed it so much because it was your first time.”
“No.” Toya protests, shuffling closer. “I enjoyed it because it was with you.”
“I never had close friends as a kid… all I had was Tsukasa-senpai and Saki-san. But today made me realize just how many friends I have now that care about me, and the people I want to be surrounded by for the rest of my life.”
Toya holds out his hand, Akito readily takes it. Akito’s hands were rougher than his, from playing sports and practice. It was like Akito experienced all that Toya couldn’t as a kid; going on family camping trips, actually talking to and worrying about an older sibling, making friends as easy as he could count.
He’s a bit jealous, but since Akito has so much experience, he can teach Toya everything he knows. Just like he did with singing. Just like he did with being free. “Akito, I’m so glad I met you. I’m so glad I met you all.”
Akito is quiet. Toya can’t see well in the dark, but he knows, perhaps instinctively, that Akito is blushing. He wished he could see it, he wishes he could see the light freckles across Akito’s tanned complexion and how they get darker and more noticeable when the red spreads and takes over.
It’s an expression Toya doesn’t see often, but everytime he does, he feels so special.
For as much as Akito puts on a gruff attitude, Toya knows how sweet he really is. From offering Mizuki his lunch when they didn’t bring theirs, to killing bugs for Tsukasa, even if it was begrudgingly. He appreciates just how much Akito takes care of him, Toya wants to do the same.
“...Me too, Toya.” Akito eventually responds. “I haven’t been camping in a long time. The last time we did… I hadn't even met you yet.”
“Why don’t you go camping anymore?”
“Well, people grow up. We grow up and we get busy.” Akito shrugs. “Ena’s a shut-in; and ever since mom got that promotion, she’s been busy. The old man doesn’t even paint natural landscapes anymore. So I guess there’s no point.”
To anyone else, Akito wouldn’t have seemed different. But Toya isn’t just anyone else. He can recognize the badly concealed sadness in his tone and the soft notes of longing for times that have passed.
Maybe it proves to Toya how he and Akito aren’t just anyone else to each other.
“You miss camping with your family, don’t you?”
Akito doesn’t say anything at first, but he does scoot closer to Toya. They were pressed shoulder to shoulder at this point. “It doesn’t matter if I miss it or not, we’re never doing it again.”
“But you are.” Toya points out. “You are doing it again. With me. With Azusawa and Shiraishi too.”
“I guess you’re right.” Akito exhales through his nose. Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say. Toya knows, even though they are close, even though Akito does care about Kohane and An, they will never be a replacement for Akito’s family. Toya will never understand the Shinonomes, he can’t understand how two people who obviously care so much about each other will go to such lengths to hide it.
He remembers middle school. He remembers how horrible Akito cried that night.
“I’m glad I met you, Toya. I hope we can continue to be partners for a long time.” Akito reaches out and squeezes Toya’s hand.
“Even if I become Tsukasa-senpai’s sibling?”
“You basically are anyways.” Akito grumbles, turning over to again face the ceiling. “Like he would stop me. You’re worth every moment that he’s annoying.”
Toya keeps his eyes trained on the side of Akito’s face, trying to get his eyes adjusted to the dark quicker. “He’s not annoying.”
“To you.” Akito tries to sneak a glance at him, but quickly turns away after meeting Toya’s eyes.
Toya frowns at that. He likes it when Akito’s eyes are on him. He likes it when Akito’s focused only on him. “I’m sorry for not telling you about the whole situation with my family and the Tenmas.” He says, just to get Akito’s attention once again.
“Dude, I don’t care.” The end of the sentence trails off as Akito yawns. “As long as you’re happy.”
Toya nods. “Me too. I want you to be happy too, Akito.”
“Yeah.” Akito’s eyes must’ve flicked over to look at him, because Akito turned so that his back was facing Toya. “Stop staring.”
“I didn’t complain when I caught you staring at me.” Toya points out, causing Akito to shuffle entirely into his sleeping bag. Come to think of it, why was Akito staring in the first place? “Why were you staring, anyway?”
“Why are you staring?” Akito shoots back.
“I like to look at you.” He says, as straightforward as ever. It was true, Akito is the prettiest boy he’s ever laid eyes on.
Akito squeaks again, seeking deeper refuge in his sleeping bag. Toya shuffles out of his own cocoon of warmth to pry the flap away, revealing his partner’s face in his pillow, curled up into a ball.
Shy and vulnerable. Toya’s heart skips.
“Akito.” Toya breathes, dragging his fingertips over Akito’s knuckles and tracing his veins. Akito’s fingers twitch, Toya catches a glimpse of his eyes peeking through the gaps. Toya smiles; finally, his eyes adjusted to the darkness.
“Akito.” Toya repeats, leaning down so his forehead is pressed against Akito’s, pulling his hands away so Toya has a full, unfiltered view of his face. “I like looking at you. Akito, you’re gorgeous.”
“Toya.” Akito croaks. His hands squeeze Toya’s as his breathing becomes more erratic. Toya can feel the heat from Akito’s blush on his own face. “Toya…?”
“Why were you looking at me, Akito?”
“Huh?”
“Earlier.” Toya pulls away, now sitting up properly and entirely in his own sleeping bag. “Why were you looking at me?”
“What– Wha-?” Akito shoots up too, then immediately doubles over in a coughing fit. Toya startles, patting his back as Akito continues to shrink. There’s a betraying curl of satisfaction in Toya’s chest, knowing he was one of the few people who can fluster Akito this way.
“Hey-!” An’s voice rings out. A side of the tent shakes as An kicks the fabric wall. “Keep it down, will you? Kohane’s sleeping!”
“Sorry, Shiraishi.” Toya rubs Akito’s back once more, then gets back into his sleeping bag. It’s best not to piss off An in the middle of the forest.
Akito takes a little longer to slide back into his sleeping bag, movements stiff and hesitant. After a while, Toya feels a tugging on the edge of his pillow. He turns to see Akito, head half hidden by his sleeping bag. It’s like they were back where they began at the start of the night. “What is it, Akito?”
“Earlier.” Akito starts, his voice shy and noticeably quiet, even for whispering. “I was looking at you because you looked happy.”
He takes a breath. “I like it.”
“Hm?”
“I like it when you’re happy, because you always have this glint in your eyes and you smile so silly.” Akito chuckles to himself. Toya can feel himself growing warm. Ah, comeuppance. “I like to see you happy, it’s one of the things that makes me feel nice.”
“Me too. When I see you happy, it makes me feel amazing.” Toya confesses. In truth, whenever he sees Akito he feels more than amazing, he feels light and airy and pumped full of energy like he can’t believe. Toya has never been on drugs but Akito was the next best thing, he can’t get enough of his partner no matter how much time they spend together. It’s selfish to ask for more when he’s already given Toya so much, isn’t it? “Akito, you make me feel happy.”
Akito makes him feel whole.
His partner laughs and turns the other way the same time Toya’s brain comes to the slow realization.
Oh. Toya thinks, already drifting off to sleep, the last thing he’s seeing is the back of his partner’s head. If he squints, he’d be able to make out the faint gleam of the silver piercings he’s found attractive on numerous occasions.
Toya reaches out to hold Akito’s hand, squeezing it when Akito lets him hold it. I think... I think I’m in love with you.