Work Text:
The cold tile of the bathroom floor served as a harsh reminder that it didn’t work yet.
Tears escaped the corners of his eyes, trailing down to his ears as he looked up at the ceiling. He hadn’t taken his eyepatch off in a while, he almost forgot the harsh reality of what lie beneath.
It was supposed to be a fun night out at the tavern. All his friends were there, celebrating his birthday. Even Diluc.
But it wasn’t enough.
It was never enough.
The only wish he had was to make Diluc look at him the way he did when they were young. It was never full of cold hatred, only love and admiration. Realistically, Kaeya knew that it would never be the same again, but was it so naive to hope?
Kaeya shouldn’t have done this. He really shouldn’t have. Especially not in his brothers tavern.
But the blood didn’t stop seeping from the gashes in his wrists no matter how much he regretted it. The knife lay on the kitchen sink, bloodied, right next to his discarded eyepatch.
Kaeya didn’t expect it to be so painful. All he could think about was how much pain he was in. Deep in his heart, he wished it would stop, but the rest of him prayed that it wouldn’t.
He deserved this.
He knew that. It was foolish of him to think that he didn’t. He has hurt so many people, deceived so many. He didn’t deserve to be alive.
Nobody would really miss him. Not truly.
Diluc likely wouldn’t care. Hell, he’d probably be happy that his traitor of a brother was finally dead, like he should’ve been the night they fought.
Kaeya blinked a few times, startled that his eyes closed without him allowing it.
This wasn’t good, things were starting to get hazy. That usually happens near the end, doesn’t it? Kaeya thinks so, but then again he’s never quite done this before. First time for everything.
The knob to the door turned, clicking when the lock prevented it from opening. It turned a few more times, the clicking noises repeating.
That was strange. Nobody was supposed to have noticed. He was very discreet about slipping away and after all, it’s not like anyone pays Kaeya any attention either.
The knob turned again, the person on the other side resorting to knocking. “Kaeya? Kaeya, are you in there? Are you okay?”
This was no good. He’s almost done it, he’s almost ended it. Diluc can’t barge in now, the job isn’t finished yet.
“Kaeya, if you don’t say anything in ten seconds I am breaking the door down.”
His mouth wouldn’t cooperate with him. His lips felt numb as he tried to form words. He didn’t realize he was this far gone. Blood loss is never something to underestimate.
“Three, two...one. I’m coming in, Kaeya!”
There was a harsh kick and the door rattled but didn’t budge. Another kick and the hinges jolted violently. One last kick caused the wood to snap and make the door give way to a tall figure.
Diluc was still in his bar tending uniform with his hair tied back. He was sweating slightly from the exertion of kicking a door down. Red eyes scanned the room and quickly found the prone form of his former brother.
“Oh, gods. No, no, no.” He whispered, immediately dropping down next to Kaeya, his hands hovering over the wounds as he hesitated.
Kaeya blinked again, a small smile forming on his numb lips. There were so many things he wanted to say, if only he could get his foggy brain to listen to him.
Diluc tore his jacket off, ripping it into shreds and harshly wrapping them around the wrist wounds.
Kaeya winced, groaning at the new burning sensation that the friction caused. It hurt enough to warrant a scream but all the captain could muster was a whine.
“It’s okay, Kaeya. You’re okay, I’m..I’m gonna fix you.” Diluc whispered, his shaking hands reaching for the second wrist to dress, though it was hard to see due to his watering eyes.
Kaeya watched his brother with regret, his head leaning towards the other. “No...”
Diluc stopped, desperation filling his eyes as he shook his head. “No, stop it. You’re okay. You have to be okay. I need you to be.”
He looked out the door in hopes that someone had wandered in, cursing himself for allowing everyone to turn in for the night without checking on his brother first. If he had then maybe someone could’ve brought a healer. Someone could’ve saved him.
Kaeya slowly brought up his hand, placing it over his brothers with a great amount of effort and pain. “It’s okay.”
Diluc was sobbing now, no longer caring about the other seeing him so emotional. “No, stop it right now. You can’t do this to me. Why would you do this?”
Kaeya grasped his brothers hand, ignoring the agony that the action brought on. He tried to form words again, to reassure the other that everything was fine. It was his time to go. But he found that he could no longer move. The world was fading away.
He thought he would feel fear or even regret starting to seep in for his final moments, but all he felt was peace.
He felt happy. So happy he could shed a tear of joy. The sensation was relieving, a reassurance that he never had to step foot into that horrible world again. He was free.
But then, he heard it.
A heartbroken scream ringing through the small bathroom and into the fading ears of the dying captain.
Kaeya found that he could no longer see, feel and could hardly even think, he was so far gone, but he could still hear.
And gods, he wished he couldn’t.
That sound was like the tug, pulling him forcefully back to life, shaking him off that peaceful feeling. He wanted to fight it, to return back to his high of feeling free, but he couldn’t bring himself to.
Hearing Diluc in so much agony all because of his death was something he never imagined. He never realized how much the other cared.
So, Kaeya began to fight.
If he could spare his brother from the suffering he bestowed upon him, he would fight to survive. Although Kaeya really wanted to die, almost yearned for it, he could never willingly let the other be in such pain.
Slowly, he started to feel the coldness of the tile, the way his uniform was a little too tight around the ankles, the pinch of his corset, and of course, the pain.
“Please, I’m sorry.” Diluc sobbed, his voice breaking. “Wake up, Kaeya. Don’t do this to me.”
Kaeya exhaled, blinking involuntarily as his eyes burned from being open too long.
“Oh my god, Kaeya?” Diluc whispered hoarsely, not bothering to wipe his tears.
His body was absolutely not working with him. It was trying to shut down and he kept overriding it, but each time it became more difficult.
Kaeya met his eyes and inhaled with obvious effort, unable to focus on anything but the pain. “It hurts...”
Diluc jumped into action, carefully sliding his hands under Kaeya’s body and lifting him up. He didn’t miss the wince that appeared on his brothers face. “You’re going to be okay.”
Kaeya couldn’t move again, the world becoming hazy no matter how much he pleaded with himself to hold on.
“I’m going to get you help, Kaeya.”
He could feel his body shutting down, but still he tried to listen to Diluc. He trusted him to get him to safety, to heal him in time. He was worried though, that it was too late, but he had to extinguish the thought. Worrying wouldn’t do him any good right now.
Diluc breathed a sigh of relief as he spotted the cathedral, beginning to climb the steps. He glanced down at his brother, his blood running cold as Kaeya’s eyes closed.
But he didn’t falter, he kept running up the steps with a full grown man limp in his arms, his muscles straining with effort as he finally reached the church.
Kicking the door open, he spotted the healers. He sighed in relief as he sunk to the floor, his brother still in his arms as he heard the alarmed shouts of the nuns.
He pressed a kiss to Kaeya’s pale forehead, silently promising both his brother and himself that everything would be okay.
He could only hope that he was right.