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more than a puppet.

Summary:

"Hello, Kunikuzushi. I heard you go by Scaramouche now?" Ei asked, as she walked into the room.

Scaramouche's whole body froze. Though he was expecting something unusual to occur, he did not expect his own creator- his mother to barge in and greet him with a warm smile on her face.

OR

an emotionally chaotic reconciliation session between Ei and Scaramouche that's long overdue.

Notes:

timeline takes place before he loses his memories or after Nahida returns from Irminsul^^

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

He came about as a byproduct of creating the Shogun. Perhaps it's because I feel like I owe him something, but I do not wish to assert control over him.

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After the electro gnosis was taken in the grasps of Buer's hand, he remembers falling head straight towards the hard concrete ground. It wasn't a pleasing feeling, leading to many of his injuries which were being tended at the moment. 

Staring that the Sumeruan interior around him, Scaramouche felt unease. He didn't know what he'd do after he'd get kicked out of the place. He was too shameful to return to Snezhnaya, and knows that he's too sinful to live as a saint. 

Even if Nahida says that he's forgiven for his actions, he is rather skeptical of that. How can one as vile as him get a way after causing chaos for her entire nation? Sure, he may have been controlled by the Fatui and academia themselves, but he still obliged and proceeded with their plan. He even had his own goal from it.

Maybe, he thought, Nahida saw something else in him he did not. He couldn't understand, but that did not concern him since he does not care much for it. She is the god of wisdom, after all. He isn't wise, and he knows better than to question the judgement of the god who showed him mercy. 

He sighs, unable to get his thoughts together. In the far past, he remembers talking to Niwa. He would always comfort him through his troubles, making sure he feels safe and wanted.

Scaramouche forgot what it feels like to be loved. Perhaps, a part of him misses it. Deep down in his heart, he knows he's still Kunikuzushi, and he never truly became anything else. The soft, gentle, innocent, and young boy lays within his personality, somewhere hidden in the corner and shoved to never resurface.

Damn it, he curses. He blames himself for even remembering the weak moments of his life. He had no use denying it now though; His own physicals state does not state otherwise.

Lost admits his thoughts, he quickly registered a knock that came from his bedroom door. He did not respond but gathered himself together to look the least more presentable.

Nahida proceeded to slowly open the door, telling him, "The balladeer, someone wishes to speak to you." 

He did not respond, nor did he care. The worst that can happen is the Fatui sending the lowly ranks of the same kind to bring him back to Snezhnaya, off for his punishment of failure. Even so, he doubts Nahida would ever let people like that into her Sanctuary. He trusts her well enough to know that she wouldn't do such a thing to him. 

"Hello, Kunikuzushi. I heard you go by Scaramouche now?" Ei asked, as she walked into the room.

Scaramouche's whole body froze. Though he was expecting something unusual to occur, he did not expect his own creator- his mother to barge in and greet him with a warm smile on her face.

Unknown to him, Nahida had told her everything regarding his current condition. Ei knew that she'd have to assist her in his recovery, since he was no ordinary being and required some modified technical components. 

Additionally, she also told her of Scaramouche's views. Though he did not speak much to her, Nahida had enough conversations with him to conclude the internal problem within the puppet. She knew that all his actions were due to a particular incident, one that occurred about 500 years ago. 

At first, Ei was shocked to hear such news. She never expected for him to see her as his mother- let alone crave so much from a being like herself. Ei was never one to express affection, hence why Makoto was the one left in charge of all the political affairs with the people of Inazuma. She always connected better with them than Ei ever did.

Even so, Ei decided to speak to her first successful creation. She could at least try to make amends, she thought. After all, it was partly her fault that Sumeru faced the grave crisis. 

"Scaramouche, are you there?" Nahida gently inquired, after a long pause of silence. 

He was brought back to the moment, realization sinking in his non-existent heart. He does not know what to feel- he's overwhelmed. Thinking that loosing his heart was not enough, he now had to face with the current predicament. He never expected to see her face again, nor did he ever wanted to meet the archon either. 

He wondered if Nahida was somehow behind this, making him her bait to reunite and reconcile with her. In any case, he did not have a choice but to face it as of now.

Eventually, he nodded with much resentment shown in his body language. Ei did not seem to care much, as she still radiated the same energy she gave coming in.

"Well then, Ei came here today to assist me in tending your injuries. Aside that, she does have a few words she would like to say to you. I'll leave the two of you first, I need to attend a quick meeting with the scholars," she paused, and moved her focus to him, "don't worry Scaramouche." And she left with a kind smile.

'A few words'... he inwardly scowled at that thought. Although one was filled with patience, the other was filled with a rage pent up after centuries of grudges.

"What do you want?" He quickly started. He wanted to get things done, get out of here as soon as he could.

"I would like to apologize, Scaramouche."

"For what? Abandoning me?"

"Well, if that's what you view it as, then yes."

He sighs. It was true that he has been wishing an apology from his mother ever since he was left alone to navigate his path in life. But why now? Was she that oblivious to realize to the point that he had to destroy a whole nation? Was she not even aware of the fact that he had almost destroyed hers while she was isolating in the Plane Of Euthymia?

The sound of heels echoed across the room, signaling him that she was walking towards his direction. She then hesitantly settles on the bed beside him, still giving him his personal space that he needed. 

"Why now after all these centuries? Did you suddenly find use for me in your land of eternity?" he mockingly questioned.

"Firstly, I have never saw you seen you as the worthless puppet you think you are. Even if I may have 'abandoned' you, I did so since I believed it was an act of mercy."

"But HOW can leaving your own creation be an act of mercy? Did you not feel even the slightest pity?"

"That's the point. I pitied you, you were too fragile to bare the burdens of ruling a nation. Have I ever told you the story-"

"No. You never told me anything." he quickly cut her off.

"Well, when I first created you, you shed tears upon creation. Instantly, I knew you did not deserve to pave the path of an archon's puppet. This has led me to locking you into an eternal slumber in the domain you later awoken in. I honestly did not expect for you to do so, but I suppose nothing can be as eternal as I thought it'll be after all."

He stayed silent. He did not know what to say. 

Everything started flowing through his head at once. All the memories of different past times, different names, different people who he met and betrayed him replayed in his head in the fastest pace it had never did. 

Numbness filled his heart after each wave of overlapping emotion. He got his answer, the reason of why he was abandoned in the first place. He does not know if it's true, or what the she was trying to get out of him now, but he does not care. 

He's confused, lost, scared, more than he has ever been. He feared- No, he didn't know what he feared. He didn't understand. He could never comprehend any human emotion he felt. He was a puppet; He wasn't supposed to feel. Yet he...

"Would you like me to hug you? You're crying my dear," she offered, gently wiping a tear off his soft cheeks.

"No! Never! Don't even touch me-" he stated in panic, jerking away from the gentle brush of his mother's thumb.

Ei retreated her hand, shocked by the sudden movement. She did not expect him to react so violently. Then again, she knew her actions must've changed the innocent Kunikuzushi he was centuries ago. 

However, things does change over time. His actions does not surprise her, so she patient sits as Scaramouche moves away from her.

Sighing, she knew she had to do something. She can not leave this visit in vain. Besides, she does believe she owes him something. Perhaps, this could be the missing puzzle piece she felt she needed. 

Scaramouche attempted to hide his tear-stained face, shoving the emotion away with the sleeves of his Sumeruan night gown. He didn't want- can not be weak in front of his mother. He swore himself to never, cry again, especially not in her presence. 

At the same time, those words his mother just stated was everything he always wanted to hear. It was hard for him to calm himself, realizing how much the years of trauma had badly effected himself.

Seeing his state, she said, "Take all the time you need," pausing a bit, but adding, "I'll be here till' the moment you finish."

Quickly, hatred took over him once again, losing control, and screaming, "What is WRONG with you?! You never bothered to give me any form of attention when you first created me... yet now... don't tell me you pity me yet again for my failure of ascending to godhood."

That's the problem, and Ei knew it was. She does not know how to talk- to make him understand that she was never aware of his views, his perspective, his desire. To her, he was just a byproduct. She never saw him as a son, lest he had seen her as his mother.

"I do not know how to say this but..." she pondered, wisely choosing her choice of words.

Voice laced with anger and pain, "Just say it! I don't care! Hurt me more than you already did, I dare you!" 

She sighed, she did not want to hurt him. She wanted to fix him. 

"You see, I never knew you saw me as a... mother. Lesser Lord Kusunali had just told me a few days prior. Before than I thought you just saw me as nothing but your creator."

His shaking stopped for a brief moment, only for more tears to build up and pour out of his eyes. How does- how does she just know now? Was she always so ignorant to the point that another archon had to tell her about it?

How did Nahida even know? He has never stated anything similar to saying Ei was his mother. He knew that Nahida could've easily read his mind, but at the same time she had reassured him that she avoids doing so since she believes it's against people's privacy. According to what she said, she only does it when she deems it absolutely necessary.

"I apologize, Kuni. Truly, for everything. I've disheartened your view very much, and I wish to fix that."

"How are you-" he pauses, once again attempting to stop those ugly tears, "How are you even going to do such a thing? Do you even know what a true mother is like? Have you ever even seen a child, or baby sited one?"

He chokes between his own breathes, unable to control his emotions anymore. He so desperately wants them to stop, to go away. But they won't for as long as his mother is here, he knows he will always be weak around her. 

Though hesitantly, Ei reaches out to pull down his arm from constantly wiping his tears away. She was afraid he would flinch, but he did not. His teary eyes met her gentle indigo ones once more, while his was filled with nothing but confusion and pain from all his 'betrayals'.

"It's okay Kuni, you don't have to be strong all the time. You can cry, I won't leave you for it this time, I promise."

And he did. For the first time in who knows how long, he freely cried. He gave in to his aching heart, finding comfort in his mother's words as much as he ever could. 

Ei pulled in him for a hug, one tight enough to calm his shaking figure. She rubbed soothing circles on his back, as he nuzzles into her neck and tightly held on her purple kimono. She did not seem to mind; She knew it'll be a long, emotional journey if she was willing to truly fix their broken bond.

Scaramouche may be a puppet, but upon birth he held a lot of humane characteristics. The shogun who currently leads Inazuma was emotionless, a body Ei made that would withstand all forms of erosion. She never did once showed any form of emotion, anything aside that stern expression that scared many Inazuman citizens away.

After a silent moment that comfortably laid the atmosphere, she continued, "And to answer your question, no I do not have any experiences on this subject. I hope to learn along the way and I do hope you'll let me know of any faults I'll make by then."

Was this even reality? Was it a dream? There's no way- the Electro Archon, Ei, his mother would ever be willing to do such a thing for him... right? Was she not the same person he remembered all those years ago? 

"Back then, I was unable to provide the love and care you so desperately needed. As you know, I was still grieving over the previous electro archon, Makoto. I trust you can understand. Though, you need not to forgive me. Apologies are useless in moments like these." 

At least, he thought, that was another thing Ei understood. She's aware that her words today will not be able to mend all the broken pieces of their relationship all at once, but he knows- somehow that she's willing to try. 

Scaramouche slightly pulled away to look at his mother's face. It's filled with more emotion than he ever saw her in. Even after her sister's passing, she masked it all and busied herself with the creation of a puppet. 

"But- but what if you'll leave me again? What if- what if..."

Of course. He just had to pathetically stop in between his statements due to badly losing his composure. The possibility of being abandoned always sends shivers down his spine. 

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay, my little Kunikuzhushi," she gently reassured.

Scaramouche feels babied at the moment. Who is he to snuggle in his mother's arm who he long hated? He felt small, helpless, and frail. His mother did not seem to mind though, as he steadily holds him throughout his whole meltdown. 

"Even if you don't trust me, I won't foolishly abandon you like I once did."

"Are you... sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright then, you can let me go now," he says, even if he wasn't making a move to get out of his current position.

"Hm? But you aren't moving away...?"

"I-" he said as he shies away.

"It's alright, I'm not going to let go until you're done. You're safe now, Kunikuzushi. You can go home if that's what you wish. Inazuma will always have a place for you when you don't know where to go. Needless to say, I am not going to assert control over you. The decision is yours."

He let those words sink it for a moment, quickly hugging her again and burying his face in her chest. He could feel her heartbeat, and it was soothing. Ei moved her hands to stroke the indigo strands of his hair, combing all the knots out of it.

Out of the comfortable silence, Kunikuzushi suddenly mentioned a statement he never thought he would say in his whole lifetime.

"Th- thank you, mom."

"You're most welcome, my son."

Notes:

this was rather self-indulgent so i hope you still enjoyed i'm out bye

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