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Life on The Revenge has returned mostly back to normal since Stede’s return. Izzy still yells at the crew to stop being lazy and to do something useful. Ed and Stede have started having tea together in the morings again. There are of course some changes that have come with Stede’s return too. They have an actual crew therapy night that everyone attends, including Izzy, without much of an argument. After what he went through with Ed during their time away from Stede he actually took the opportunity to confront Ed on how he and the crew were treated. It was also followed by Izzy refusing to be alone for two weeks, even going as far to sleep with the rest of the crew and being Fang’s new cuddle buddy. But after another talk with just Ed and Stede in the cabin Izzy relaxed again and was back to his grumpy self.
They have also had to return to doing raids. Well in Stede’s case start doing raids. It’s been a learning process for him to say the least but he likes to think he’s taken it in stride. Slowly he has learned the correct way to hold a sword and can defend himself enough till Izzy or someone else on the crew can help him. Which does mean he’s basically assigned to stay by Izzy’s side but he doesn’t mind much. Despite the first mates grumbling, getting to watch Izzy in his element is something Stede has come to enjoy.
Izzy moves with grace, almost as if he is dancing while he’s sword fighting. He exudes confidence. The way he holds himself with pride during the raids is something Stede wishes he could capture. Sadly when he attempted to bring it up to Lucius the idea was immediately shot down. Normally when Izzy is barking orders around the ship he tries to make himself look taller but honestly Stede thinks he looks more like a tiny scared dog. But out here seeing him swing his sword and twist around he’s nothing like the man back on their ship.
Unfortunately as much as Stede loves to watch Izzy he does have to focus on keeping himself safe, plus it saves Izzy yelling at him later for making stupid decisions. He’s gained more muscles from having to learn how to use a sword. Stede didn’t think he’d see any difference, his sword being on the lighter end, but he’s actually started to gain muscles. With that comes the aches after the raids to where his arms feel like jelly.
After dealing with the remaining crew, looting is not as much fun as Stede thought it would be. Finding things means they need to carry stuff back to their ship. While it’s exciting to find a new sofa or nice dining room table for the crew to use, or something nice for him and Ed to put in the captain's quarters, having the wood dig into his skin makes it far less exciting. Stede’s hands are no longer as soft as they’ve used to be. He’s tried his best to take care of them with nice lotions he picks up with they make port. Or the pair of gloves he tried then ended up giving to Izzy because he didn’t like how much they made him sweat.
They just got back from a particularly rough raid. Stede made it out with only a small scratch on his arm. It really isn’t a big deal he’s done worse to himself in his sleep while tossing and turning. But with sore hands and feet, benign a bit too sweaty, and knowing a lecture from Izzy would be on his way all Stede really wanted to do was curl up with one of his favorite books.
Slowly he was gaining his library back. Every ship they raided Ed helped him gather any books that were on the ship. Edward was actually the first one to bring the books back on the ship. He came to Stede after one of the raids with some books about medicinal plants.
“I know it’s not like the ones you liked to read to the crew, but uhh you really liked that one plant in the mug. Plus you kept mentioning all the different plants when we went on that treasure hunt. So just here.” Ed said, shoving a few books into Stede. He looked into Stede’s eyes and must have saw his confusion “I’m sorry you don’t have to keep them I know it’s probably not that good I just thought-”
Stede shifted the books so he had a free hand before grasping the back of Edward’s neck pulling him forward and giving him a gentle kiss “I love them.” He whispered, keeping their foreheads pressed together.
Ed looked back at him a bit unsure, “You don’t have to. I just, I’m sorry. I know it’s not the same, but I’m sorry for throwing what makes you happy away. I don’t want you to be away from what makes you, you.”
“I well, I’m not away from everything that makes me happy.” Stede says moving his hand down towards Ed’s shoulder and giving it a little squeeze.
“I know it’s not like what I used to have but maybe I’ll learn something new.” Stede looked down at the books. They’re not like the plant books he had before either. Those were about how to propagate and identify. Although these would definitely have some help in identifying plants, it’s not really about keeping plants just because they look nice.
Ed saw them and thought of him though. He remembered how much he liked the books. Probably how frustrating it was to have a library on the ship too and still got him them. Stede hadn’t even considered bringing books back on the ship.
“Maybe next raid I’ll find actual stories for you.” Ed mumbled “I think it would make the crew happier if they could have story time back. Of course only if you wanted to.”
“I think that would be lovely” Stede said, already moving to go sit on the sofa to start reading.
Stede did appreciate all the books Edward found during the raids. Sometimes he’d come back to their cabin when they’d make port with more story books he thought Stede would enjoy reading and not just relying on what they could find in the middle of the ocean.
Just sometimes after a long day, a long week, Stede just really wanted to curl up with one of his favorite books. He didn’t want to read any of the ones Edward found for him, or the new ones with new characters he’d have to learn. Stede wanted his book. He wanted to read about the boy who went backpacking and found a little dog where they became best friends. Stede didn’t want to read any romance book; he wanted the boy and dog to go swimming at the pond. Stede didn’t even know if he wanted a replacement of the book. He wanted his book that had been read through so many times that there were certain sections the book opened to almost its own making it easy for Stede to find his favorite parts.
His arms hurt, his legs hurt, he was tired and just wanted the one thing he knew would make him feel better and he didn’t have it. All because Edward decided to throw it into the ocean. Even if the book existed it was at the bottom of the ocean covered in sand and pages slowly deteriorating away.
He didn’t hold back the tears that started to well up in his eyes. Edward was helping the rest of the crew sort the loot. He saw Stede was exhausted and told him that he could go back to their cabin and relax, that he’d take care of everything. Stede had time to wallow to himself. Or so he thought.
Stede didn’t expect Ed to be done soon enough to walk in on him crying. He tried his best to make it look like he wasn’t crying, looking up at Edward. “Oh hello darling, everything ok? You guys finished sorting the loot quickly? Are you sure everything is logged?”
Ed furrowed his brows walking over. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He gently took Stede’s head in his hands tilting his head lightly “You didn’t get hurt and not tell me right?”
Stede tried to shake his head without much success. “No, I'm fine.”
Ed swiped his thumb under Stede’s eye and he could help but lean into Edward’s hand. “You were crying. What’s wrong.” Stede looked back at Ed, looking at him so concerned. It made Stede’s heart ache cause he knew if he told Ed what was wrong it would just make him sad. “You can tell me if you want” Ed sat down next to him.
Stede took a deep breath, shuttering a bit from the crying. “It’s kinda dumb.”
“If it’s made you upset I don’t think it’s that dumb, and even if it is, it’s ok to get upset from dumb stuff.” Ed kept his hand on Stede’s face letting him rest against him. “I just want to help you.”
“But you can't,” Stede said, pulling back from Ed. “I- I don’t have my favorite book. It’s gone at the bottom of the ocean and it’s just gone. I can’t read it again, and I really want to Ed. I really want to read my books. The ones I’ve read over and over, that have my notes in them, that had my bookmarks. I can’t anymore, they're just gone, I can’t get them back.”
“I’m sorry love-”
“I know! And that’s why it’s dumb!” Stede used both his hands pushing his palms against his eyes wiping away his tears “I know you’re sorry and I have forgiven you so it’s stupid to still be upset over-”
“No” Edward interrupted him. He placed a hand on Stede’s knee rubbing it with his thumb “It’s not dumb for you to be upset over, you’re still allowed to be upset Stede. You can forgive me and still be upset, you loved those books they’re important to you. You can miss your books.”
Stede shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. “I just wish it didn’t upset me this much still. But I just think about how I won’t be able to hold them or smell them again. They smelled so nice and sometimes the ones we find, they’re nice, but they smell like they’ve been on a ship. Then mine are just at the bottom of the ocean and will never be held again. They’re books they don’t have feelings, it’s a little dumb.” He laughs a bit at the end. “I just miss my favorite one a little extra today I guess.”
Ed holds onto Stede’s hand, “I know it’s not the same but you can always tell me about your favorite one, what you remember and stuff about it, or if you don’t want to I can tell you a story, or we can pick one out. I’ll read to you, or you can read. Just you know something nice?”
“It was a kinda cute story, there was a dog.” Stede watches a smile spread across Ed’s face.
“And there was a dog?”
So Stede tells Ed about his favorite book, the lost dog, the boy who ran away from home, the town they stumbled on and the dog stealing some meat from the butcher. Ed listens and draws his fingers across Stede’s hand following all the little creases, gently moving his fingers back and forth, sometimes making them hold hands. Stede tells him everything he can remember.
It would take another few months for Edward to find the book. Asking at every port they went to for the boy and dog book at any bookshop he could find till some shop owner knew not only the one he was talking about but also had the book for Ed to buy. While it is not Stede’s original book it was the next best Edward could get. Ed would happily spend the rest of his life searching through book shops to find Stede’s olds books, and finding new ones he thinks Stede would enjoy. Even when that means he has more books to pick up after a storm.