Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In Raph's oldest memories Dad seemed like a constant presence. He remembers sitting on his lap with his brothers while he recited stories, falling asleep in one big pile with Dad at the center. He remembers watching with him in excitement as Leo and Donnie made their first hesitant few steps. 

He doesn't remember when, exactly, Dad found the TV, but he knows it was sometime after Mikey started showing more interest in crawling all over the lair, an interest that soon began to manifest in frustration as he clearly was starting to want to move more freely. 

Raph didn't know what it was about the TV that made Dad ignore them. Sure watching the Lou Jitsu movies was fun, but Dad had seemed really excited when Leo and Donnie started walking, and none of that interest seemed to translate to Mikey. 

Back before the TV, when the others were still a lot littler, Dad used to sometimes sit Raph on his knee while the others were napping. Usually he would entertain him with silly stories or songs, but he remembers one day when the others had been playing and he had joined in. He knew on some level that the others were smaller than him, and he knew especially to be careful with Donnie, who had a special shell, and Mikey, who was so much smaller, but he had just wanted to play! It was all fine until he had let his guard down, thought that if he had to be careful with Donnie and Mikey that maybe it was okay to be less-careful with Leo, and he had accidentally shoved the turtle too hard. All that came of it was a scraped knee and a bruise, but Leo had cried so hard that he had worn himself out, and the other two had gotten scared by all his crying and they all had to take a much earlier nap. 

That day, instead of silly stories with over-the-top voices that made him giggle, Dad had looked at him very seriously in a way that Raph had never seen him look before. 

"Red, you must listen to me very carefully when I say this." Already feeling terrible from the incident earlier that day, Raph had nodded, trying to match Dad's level of serious-ness. "You are older than your brothers, and therefore it may someday fall on you to protect them."

Raph blinked, too young to really comprehend what his father was trying to say. Sensing this, his father sighed before trying again. 

"You must watch out for them, Raphael. The others rely on you to keep them safe."

Ohh. That made more sense. Raph nodded furiously, sure that he was capable of that. He understood the concept of being a big brother, knew that it meant he was bigger and stronger but also needed to be more careful and gentle. He had to be smart if he wanted to keep his brothers safe, and maybe one day he could help make sure they were able to defend themselves, but right now they were too little. It was up to him to look out for them when Dad wasn't around.

And right now Dad wasn't around. 

Mikey clearly wanted to walk, but Raph remembered from Leo and Donnie that he would need someone to practice holding him up and encouraging him. With the twins, Dad had done that, but something was wrong with Dad now. It was up to Raph to help his baby brother. 

He launched the first part of his plan after lunch when Dad had retreated to his room once checking that they were all safely inside the makeshift playpen. Raph knew he usually let them play for a longgg time before making sure the littler three took a nap (and Raph too somedays, if he was really tired) for a while. He knew it was the perfect chance to strike. 

"Mikey," he said, sitting in front of the turtle tot who eagerly crawled into his lap. Raph laughed, rearranging him to a more comfortable position. "Wanna try something cool?" He asked.

Mikey didn't respond, obviously. The twins were just beginning to talk more fully, but Raph thought that it would probably be a while before Mikey did the same, because he thinks he remembers the other two talking way after they started walking. Though that was probably influenced by the way they seemed to be able to communicate with each other through their own secret language. The twins were so weird sometimes, but Raph still loved them even with all their weirdness. Raph chanced a look to make sure they were occupied in their corner, giggling and whispering about something as they drew over their meager paper supplies that Dad had recently refreshed after a trip to the surface. Satisfied that they were sufficiently distracted, he turned his attention back to his youngest brother, who looked up at him curiously. 

"C'mon," he urged him. "You're gonna be walking like a champ in no time!" He stood, setting Mikey on the floor beside him gently, knowing that this would cause Mikey to make his favorite up! gesture, complete with grabby hands reaching towards him. Taking advantage of this, Raph used the extended hands to gently, I have to be extra careful with Mikey, pull him to his feet, not letting go as the turtle seemed off balance. Hesitantly, he led Mikey in a few steps, watching carefully to make sure he wasn't tugging on his arms too harshly. Thankfully, the youngest didn't seem distressed at all, rather giggling happily as he wobbled on his feet. 

"Good job little dude!" Raph cheered. "Want to try it on your own?" Again, Mikey didn't respond, but Raph took the excited gleam in his eye as answer enough and carefully let go of his hands. Mikey stood there for a second, and Raph watched with bated breath as he took a tumbling step towards their brothers in the corner, who were paying the experiment no mind. Raph almost started to cheer as Mikey put one foot in front of the other successfully, before he attempted his second step. And fell. 

"Oh no," Raph muttered, watching as Mikey's face turned first confused and then screwed up just like it always did before he cried, and Raph couldn't let that happen. Dad would be so mad. 

"Shh! Hey! It's okay lil' bro, hey c'mon," he plopped himself back on the ground, Mikey happily crawling back into his lap. "Shh, you're alright. You're a natural at this! Don't worry about one little fall, Donnie's always running into things and falling over. You're going to be outpacing him in no time."

Mikey giggled, and Raph was pretty sure he didn't understand what he was saying at all (and thankfully neither did Donnie, too absorbed in his playing with Leo.) That didn't matter though, because Mikey no longer looked like he was about to cry, and Raph wasn't going to let him give up after one fall. What kind of big brother would he be then? 

He stood again, this time Mikey more willingly participating by trying to pull himself up on his own. Raph led him closer to the wall of the playpen, hoping a more attainable goal would lead to Mikey gaining the confidence he needed. It seemed to work, because even though Mikey fell after his first few wobbly steps without his brother supporting him, there were no tears this time, and instead he used the wall to pull himself up to his full height and beam at Raph. 

"Awesome work bro!" Raph smiled. He debated trying again, but didn't want to force his brother. He doesn't remember it super clearly, but he thinks Leo and Donnie had taken a while to be able to walk by themselves after they first started practicing. He would just have to be patient. 

That was another important part of being a big brother, he thinks. Patience. 

Mikey doesn't master walking during their next few attempts, but Raph still feels his heart swell every day as Mikey gets a little bit more stable on his feet. The twins had eventually taken notice and designated themselves their younger brother's official cheerleaders, sitting a few steps away from Mikey to give him a target to walk to. Mikey was even starting to attempt walking on his own without their encouragement, which nearly gave Dad a heart attack the other day when he went to put Mikey down for a nap and he had managed to pull himself up on his legs. 

Raph wasn't sure what Dad's reaction would be to Mikey's new skill. Sure he had been excited about the twins, but he was different now. More sleepy, Raph thinks, in a way he doesn't really have words for now (and won't until he's much older.) 

Thankfully, Dad was thrilled, scritching Mikey's head in the way that always made him coo and congratulating him on being "very advanced." 

He still didn't really take an interest in helping Mikey learn, but that was okay. That's what big brothers were for, and he knew Dad still cared. He was just distracted now. Raph could handle this one on his own. 

It took a super long time, Raph thinks, but he's not really sure exactly because they don't really bother to keep track of days. He knows words like weeks and months from the shows and stories Dad introduces them to, and he knows about years because Dad one time had mentioned that he's had them for half of one, but that was a while ago, so he doesn't know if it's been a full one since then or not. Dad must be keeping track of the days in some way, he thinks, but Raph isn't very bothered with the concept. Why does it matter how many days pass if every day is pretty much the same? 

He kinda wishes he'd kept track though, just so he could put a specific number on the sight of his baby brother proudly walking across the playpen with no stumbling or wobbling at all, a length that was at least twenty steps for his tiny legs. 

Donnie and Leo were cheering like crazy, but Raph only smiled, strangely feeling his eyes water up like they did when he was sad. But he wasn't sad now! He was happy! 

Brushing away the strange wetness, he rushed forward to pick Mikey up, spinning him (carefully) in excitement. 

Mikey made a dissatisfied noise, squirming until Raph, laughing, realized what he wanted and put him back down, watching as he continued to take his tiny but confident steps. 

Briefly, he wondered if this would be the last time he would get to see Mikey make his adorable up! gesture. Probably not, he decided as he watched Mikey, seemingly tired of his new upward exploration, plop back on the ground near the twins' usual corner, picking up their half broken crayons. He would still always be his little brother. 

And Raph was still always going to be there to pick him up. 

Chapter Text

Leo would never admit it out loud, but sometimes he privately thought Mikey was a bit boring. He thought being a big brother was supposed to be exciting, but mostly Mikey just trailed after them and slept a lot. He'd gotten a little bit more exciting since Raph had helped him learn to walk, but he still couldn't talk, and trying to play games with him wasn't very fun. The most he could do was color, which was fine, he guessed, and the little guy seemed to love it, but still. 

He wanted someone he could reenact Lou Jitsu scenes with! Raph always insisted he didn't want to accidentally hurt them and said he would be their narrator instead, which was fine because Donnie wasn't really the best narrator because he didn't like talking that much, but he also couldn't really play-fight with Donnie too much because he might hurt his shell, which wasn't his fault, but still, it was borrrinngg . There was only so much to do in the lair, and even what they could do was entirely dependent on what Dad could get during a surface trip, and he had been making less of those lately. With a dwindling paper supply and no new toys to catch his attention, he needed something to keep him occupied. 

He wanted a cool little brother, and since Donnie was probably only a few months younger than him (from Dad's best estimates) and kinda lame, even if he was his favorite twin, he clearly needed to focus his attention elsewhere. 

And that left Mikey. 

He was a lot cooler now that he could walk, but he still needed more if he was going to be the cool little brother Leo needed. And step one was going to be learning to talk. 

That day during play time, Leo dragged Mikey into their corner with all their crayons and held up an orange one to the tot. 

"Look! It's your favorite color!" He encouraged. "Can you say orange?" 

Mikey blinked. Leo just sighed. Admittedly that might have been a hard word to start with. 

"Okay, never mind. How about my name. Can you say Leo? Leeeeohhhhhh."

Mikey made a babbling noise that was mostly gibberish, but Leo swears he heard an "oh" in there. 

"Yes! Exactly like that, c'mon do it again, Leo!"

"Eek-go!"

"Okay, not exactly but you've got the spirit!" 

Mikey continued happily babbling, and Leo strained his ears to hear another hint of his name, disappointed when he couldn't even trick himself into thinking he heard it. He looked up to see Donnie silently watching them from a few steps away. 

"Wanna take a crack at it Don?"

Donnie shook his head, which was fair enough considering he didn't really speak unless he had to. He could, he just… didn't really seem to like to, for some reason.

According to Raph, Leo's first word had been dad, and Donnie hadn't spoken until way later to say his first word, which was apparently "can you please pass the purple crayon?" Leo isn't entirely sure Raph wasn't just lying to him, but that does seem like something Donnie would do. 

They didn't really know why Donnie didn't like talking. Personally, Leo loved it. He liked knowing that other people could understand what he was thinking, and he liked being able to ask his brothers things. Donnie, on the other hand, preferred to gesture and would only speak if the game of charades went on a bit too long and whoever he was talking to got frustrated. 

Usually, that was Raph. Leo could always understand them because of their secret twin language. 

But still, Leo wishes Donnie could help him with this. How was he going to be able to teach Mikey on his own? He didn't even remember learning to talk. 

What was that thing Raph was always talking about? Oh yeah, patience. He just had to be patient, which he thought was someone who needed to see a doctor, but Raph told him one time was actually a word that meant you could wait a really long time for something, even if it was boring. He would just have to be patient, and maybe if he practiced a bit every day he could finally have the cool little brother he's always dreamed of. 

Leo may not be great at patience. 

From that day on he spent practically every minute of his free time with Mikey practicing words. After days of him not grasping his name he had, begrudgingly, moved on to trying different words (never his siblings' names though. If Mikey's first word was going to be any of their names, it would be his.) Mikey hadn't really had much success with any of them either though, so he had gone back to Leo, figuring it was a simple enough word and that the repetition might help. 

Mikey for his part just seemed to enjoy the attention, not that he had any shortage of it, being the youngest brother. He had started babbling even more frequently since they started practicing which Leo that was- a good sign? Probably? 

Had the walking practice taken this long? Leo doesn't think so, but he doesn't remember it super well. Raph had seemed content to leave him to this project, but maybe he should ask him for advice. Clearly Mikey responded better to him. 

It happened just as Leo was considering giving the whole thing up. If Donnie didn't like talking very much, maybe Mikey just wouldn't talk at all? It would be weird, but Leo still loved his twin so he guessed he could make do with a silent little brother. Raph would just have to narrate all his lines when they played. 

Still, Dad had told him once that he was stubborn, and he wasn't going to prove him wrong. He would try one more time, and if Mikey didn't say anything he was going to throw in the towel.

"C'mon Mikey, please? For me? Your favorite-est big brother?"

Leo sighed in disappointment as Mikey continued his babbling with no sign of his name. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Donnie silently laughing at him. 

"Not helping, Donnie," he snapped. 

"Donnie!" Mikey cheered. 

Every head in the room immediately whipped to the tot. Donnie started laughing audibly. 

"No," Leo muttered in horror. "This is impossible."

"Donnie," Mikey repeated happily, pointing at Leo's twin, who stopped laughing to smile encouragingly. 

"Mikey!" Leo pouted, glad the turtle at least had the decency to turn back and face him. "I spend weeks teaching you and this is the thanks I get?" His eye twitched as Raph and Donnie continued laughing at him. "That's it, I give up! I'm officially becoming an only child."

He tried to feel happy that Mikey had said anything but- really? After all the time he had spent practicing with him it felt a bit like he was being betrayed.

After a moment of angry pouting, he saw Donnie sigh and walk forward, sitting down next to the youngest. 

"Mikey, say 'Leo.'" He instructed, voice somewhat raspy from disuse. Leo scoffed.

"Thanks bro, but I don't think he'll-"

"Leo!"

Donnie patted Leo on the shoulder as he got up and went back to whatever he had been working on without another word. Leo almost thanked him, but he did steal his thunder, so it was really the least he could do.

"If anyone asks, that was his first word!" Leo yelled before picking Mikey up to spin him, causing Mikey to gurgle happily and repeat what was his actual real first word, because the first thing was a fluke, obviously.

"Congrats, lil' bro," he whispered. 

Brushing aside a few tears, he sat Mikey back down to practice a few more new words.

Maybe there was something to this whole patience thing. And maybe stubborn wasn't always a bad thing, Dad. 

Chapter Text

From the very first time Dad brought home a book Donnie has been enthralled with reading. 

There was something about it that drew him like a moth to a flame, and there was nothing he liked more than absorbing knowledge and new words the way a sponge soaked up water. He didn't know why exactly he was like this, why his older brothers were content to use whatever words they could think of, even if they were wrong or even completely made up, while he obsessed over finding the perfect words to convey his thoughts. He didn't know what he would do without his beloved and ever growing book collection. He didn't think he would feel complete without them, from the glossy picture books with large fonts to the slightly water damaged chapter books he struggled through, armed with his most precious possession- the pocket sized dictionary Dad had found for him, missing only two pages and serving as his sole companion sometimes when his dum dum brothers were being annoying. 

That is to say, his older brothers. Mikey, who had said his name before any other word and who liked to follow him around like a baby duck instead of the turtle he was, could do no wrong. 

Which is why Donnie was going to introduce him to the most wonderful thing on planet earth. Reading. 

Raph and Leo didn't like reading. They tolerated it when Dad would force them to follow along when he read them stories, insistent that being able to read was a valuable skill, but they certainly didn't like it. They thought Donnie's infatuation with it was strange, not understanding why he would want to spend time with boring books when he could be playing with them. What they didn't understand was that playing for him wasn't fun like it was for them. It was constantly making sure he didn't fall on his shell, making sure he was carefully tucked into corners where Raph's spikes couldn't accidentally reach. Not because he was really worried he could get hurt, though that was a possibility, but because if he wasn't careful his brothers would remind him to be, and there was nothing worse than having someone mention his shell. Sometimes he wondered if they would treat him like this if he was the oldest. Privately, he was a little thankful Mikey had taken on the role of youngest. The mother-henning would have been overbearing, otherwise. 

Books didn't judge him for being a soft shell. Books didn't judge him at all, and that's why they were wonderful and the greatest thing on earth, and he was going to teach his baby brother to read if it was the last thing he did. Because if anyone could understand his love of reading, it would be his brother, surely, who knew the perils of being a younger brother and being constantly told to be careful while playing. 

Mikey did not seem to understand.

Ever since he had mastered walking, it was hard to get him to sit still if there wasn't something to occupy his hands. Dad had managed to find him some blocks and puzzles that would keep him still for a few minutes at a time, but most of their day was spent wrangling the tot who insisted on trying to pull himself up onto every surface of the lair. 

In hindsight, Donnie's not sure why he thought Mikey would like sitting still while he read aloud. 

It's the voice, he thinks after his third attempt, where he had managed to hold Mikey's attention for a record breaking five minutes before he left for something more interesting. He remembers when the rest of them were tots and dad would read to them (he doesn't know why he doesn't read to Mikey. Doesn't really know why Raph had to be the one to hold Mikey's hands for his first few steps, why Mikey's first word was Donnie and not Dad. He loves Dad, he thinks, as much as he can without thinking too hard about icky emotions, but sometimes he wonders if Dad still loves them more than the movies he's glued to all day.) When Dad read, he would use lots of silly voices that always managed to make even Leo and Raph sit still and pay attention to the words.

The only problem is that Donnie had no idea how to do that. He doesn't like talking, that's no secret. Reading is okay though, because reading isn't talking. With books the words are already picked out for him, prearranged in a perfectly acceptable order with the correct words already laid out for him to verbalize. When he's talking he has to spend so much time making sure everything is right that he ends up finding it to be more effort than just gesturing. Sometimes he thinks knowing more words than his brothers is more of a hindrance (good example there, what kind of 7 year old knows words like hindrance) than a help. There's just too many options, at least 3 different synonyms always rattling around in his head and making it impossible to finish a sentence before whoever he's talking to had already moved on to another subject. It's annoying, but not the end of the world when it comes to communication. His brothers are always up for a good game of charades, afterall. 

But reading is fine because the words are already pre written, except he has no idea how to add the inflections that Dad always used to make books seem more interesting. Leo had accused him before of sounding like a robot, and Donnie doesn't know how he feels about that, actually, though he has to admit it's certainly true. Maybe it's a lack of practice. 

Raph and Leo insist that the most important part of being a big brother is patience, with a side of stubbornness. That doesn't really have the right ring to it though, he thinks.

He can picture it now: Purple's patented big brother advice: patience, perseverance, and practice. 

Uck. That last part is going to stink. 

They all share a room, in theory, but there's enough abandoned train cars in the lair that if they want some space there's plenty of places to go and hide. Thankfully, his brother's are used to Donnie's habit of frequently taking advantage of this, so he has plenty of privacy when he decides to squirrel himself away, armed with a book that he's sure Dad had picked up on a surface trip for the sole reason of the cover. 

Franklin Goes to School is probably a little advanced for Mikey, honestly, but the cover features a turtle who looks shockingly similar to them, and the whole background is orange in a way that's sure to at least peak Mikey's interest. Plus, the pages are mostly scribble and damage free, a variety among any of their belongings. 

The real plus, though, is the inside flap, featuring a swirly font that announces that the book belongs to "______." Somehow it had remained unclaimed amongst the oldest three turtles, and Donnie picks out Mikey's favorite orange crayons and carefully scratches his name on the line. Considering how much Mikey likes to point and grab thing and claim them to be "mine!" he hopes the suggestion of ownership will help get him to agree to at least let Donnie read the first few pages. Besides, he should start learning how to spell his name anyways. 

After staring at the newly marked page for a few moments, he shakes his head and chides himself for stalling. He's never going to get any better at talking if he doesn't practice. 

"Franklin could count by twos and-"

He clears his throat. That was just his normal speaking voice. How would Dad say it?

"Franklin could count by twos and tie his shoes." How much emphasis should he put on the rhyme? Should he point out what a rhyme was? No, that was silly, Mikey needed to learn at least the basics of reading before he learned what rhymes were, probably. Maybe? 

"Franklin could tie his shoes and count by twos," he tried again, this time managing to add what he thinks is the right level of emotion into his voice. His throat is already slightly sore from the unusual amount of talking, but he powers on. 

"-And he gave his parents a big hug- No, a big hug! Okay, that sounded better. More emphasis on adjectives, I think," he muttered to himself, slightly relieved to have realized it was the last sentence. Now it was just time to see if it actually worked. 

Scratch that, he thought as he felt the state his throat was in after all that talking. Now it was time to not say anything for the rest of the day. He would see if it worked tomorrow. 

-

"See, Mikey, that's your name right there," he informed the turtle on his lap, pointing at the word. Dad had thankfully decided they were mostly old enough to have free roam of the lair when he was watching TV (which was starting to be more and more frequently. It's like the older they got, the less attention he paid them) so he was sitting on the couch and not on the floor. Partly because it was more comfortable, but also because it was slightly harder for Mikey to make a daring escape if he had to climb down first. Thankfully, he didn't seem to be contemplating that just yet. 

"Mine!" He cheered, tracing the letters with a slightly pudgy finger. 

"Exactly," Donnie smiled. "See, it's spelled M-I-K-E-Y." Mikey continued tracing the letters seemingly enthralled. "Here, look, the turtle looks just like you!" He told him, flipping the page. Mikey giggled happily. 

Donnie started reading, keeping one eye out for when Mikey would inevitably get bored and start squirming. The added inflection in his voice was strange, so different from how he usually talked. The first time Mikey giggled he was almost offended before he remembered that that's what he wanted to happen. He was supposed to laugh at the silly lines and gasp at the dramatic ones, and the fact that he managed to accomplish that made his chest glow with pride, even if he had to keep reminding himself to keep it up when he slipped back into his normal monotone. 

"And he gave his parents a big hug!" Donnie concluded, amazed that he had actually done it. He had gotten through a whole book without Mikey running away once! And sure he had probably been paying more attention to the pictures than the words, but still, progress!

"Again!" Mikey cheered. Donnie froze. 

"You want to hear it again?" 

"Read again please," he nodded, pushing the book back against his plastron insistently.

"Okay, okay," he laughed. "Why don't you help me this time? Look, do you remember what this word is?" He asked, flipping back to the front page to point to the line. 

"Me! Mikey!" 

"Exactly, great job!" He smiled, though he knew it was more than likely just remembering that he had been told what the word on that page was, rather than memorizing the order of the letters. Still, it was a great start to recognizing words, and Donnie couldn't help but feel the same sense of pride returning. 

All these emotions were exhausting , he thought to himself as he went back through the book, this time pausing occasionally to ask Mikey to try to sound out the words on the page with him. He'd thankfully seemed to absorb some of the alphabet lessons they'd given him, at least, and managed to only semi-painfully draw out the occasional "thh-ee" and "tu-oo."

Franklin Goes to School became Mikey's favorite book. He demanded Donnie read it at least once a day, much to the amusement of his brothers who remarked that they had never heard Donnie speak so much. Ha ha , he always said in response with an eye roll, secretly too endeared with the tot's enthusiasm to be annoyed. 

Two weeks later Mikey had asked- demanded, really, that he get to read to Donnie for once. 

He stumbled through any word longer than four letters and it took roughly an hour to get through all 30 pages, needing to be frequently encouraged to force his way through the hard words.

The sound of Mikey perfectly imitating his inflection on the final page was probably the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.