Archive of Our Own

12

When Mafuyu watches Hinomori-san pull back the string of her bow to take a shot at the target, a strangely warm feeling flares up in her chest.

They're the only ones at practice today, the only ones dedicated enough to show up even in the middle of what could probably be considered a blizzard at this point. The campus of Miyamasuzaka is coated in an expansive blanket of white. Frost dusts the corner of each window pane, forming intricate shapes as it begins to get colder. Shizuku's posture is perfect as she releases the arrow and it thunks into the back of the wood.

She smiles, clapping the girl's efforts as she lowers her bow. Her blue eyes meet her own and she summons up all the shine she possibly can to them. The warm sensation isn't just warm anymore. It feels like a hole is being burned straight through her heart.

Mafuyu clears her throat, ignores it, and makes her way over to her side.

"That was really good," she laughs. It comes out sounding normal enough. A good sign. "I'm not even too sure I have any more tips for you, Hinomori-san. You're better than me, almost."

"Ah, thank you, Asahina-san! Although I still have quite a way to go before I reach your skill level~"

It's almost sickening to think about, how Shizuku can't just take that compliment. It's sickening to think about why things are that way in the first place.

The idol industry is tough on young talent like her, after all.

Mafuyu doesn't reply, not being able to find a reason to. Instead she watches as Shizuku gently tugs the arrow out of the target and drops it back into her sheath. She then walks over, trudging through the remains of the snow lingering on the cobbled path, and hangs her bow up on the hooks behind the two of them. They're all lightly sprinkled with snow. It's cold and rough against Mafuyu's fingers as she goes to hang her own bow up too.

Shizuku pretty much reads her mind, an uncanny talent she seems to have had ever since she joined the archery club. "Well, how about we go back inside? It's only going to get colder out here, and I still have some soup in my flask we can share."

"I-I'm alright, thanks." Soup, in a flask. The thought is almost funny to Mafuyu, until she remembers she doesn't actually understand what humor even feels like. "But, yes, lets go inside."

Still, Shizuku's kindness is something she won't forget so easily. Maybe that's why her chest felt so strange earlier, like it was starting to smoulder within her.

She'll ask someone about that eventually. It won't be much of a problem, surely.

11

Well, Mafuyu was wrong.

It's back again, and all she had to do was walk past Shizuku in the corridor.

The snow from yesterday is now nothing more than a few piles of unceremonious sludge dotted around the school grounds, having been transformed by a sudden burst of rain during the Nightcord meeting the night before. Maybe that's why she woke up this morning thinking maybe it had gone away. She thought it would disappear just as simply as the expansive blanket of white, or the frost dusting the windows, or those little bites of cold on the bow racks during archery.

Alas, the fiery feeling is back, and the charred portions of her heart from watching Shizuku yesterday are starting to crumble and fall away the longer she leaves things the way they are. It's weird just to think about. It's honestly starting to annoy her, and it's even affecting the personality of the good-girl facade she puts on at school.

Mafuyu grimaces to herself at the fact she might have to tell someone about this strange emotion.

But who? Mizuki is her first thought, of course – if someone knows about this type of feeling, it's probably going to be them. Then she visualises the relentless teasing. And makeovers. And every other form of torture that could possibly occur if she trusts this dark, dark secret to the pink thing in her laptop. Naturally, she decides there are better choices for her troubles.

Her mind flicks to Ena, but she realises very quickly that Ena will probably just yell unintelligibly at her until she tells her everything, and she does a double take.

Kanade would be the obvious next option. Unfortunately, Mafuyu is certain that with her embarassingly tiny span of knowledge about the world around her, she'd be of no help at all.

So her circle is pretty much useless. There go the three people she trusts most, and it's not like she can come out of nowhere and confide in Shizuku. After all, it might cause more trouble than it's worth. And somehow there's still one person Mafuyu can think of, one person who is willing to listen to her no matter what, one person who swore to make her genuinely smile no matter what it took.

It could be her lucky day quite soon, Mafuyu thinks to herself, making a silent pledge to go see her and figure this out as soon as possible.

10

"Amia."

The figure on Mafuyu's computer screen sits up a little straighter, refusing to take their eyes off of the costume design sheets messily strewn across their desk.  "Yuki?"

The clock reads 2:57. Just like archery practice at the start of the week, Mafuyu finds herself working much later than usual, a straggler of the pack yet again. The only difference this time is that it's Mizuki who decides (or more accurately, is forced) to stay behind with her this time, spending extra hours on the call to finish their part of the job on time. They're cutting it close once again. Sure, it's nothing more than designing the outfits for the characters of their next MV as a circle, but the deadline K set is in less than an hour. Mafuyu simply sits and watches as they adjust miniscule details on the paper, not a single indicator of worry in their bright pink eyes.

Mizuki's work ethic has always managed to baffle her. She decides to ask her question now, while they're still in the zone.

"Otori Emu," she starts, taking a sip of the water next to her. It's bland and tasteless. "She makes frequent visits to your school, doesn't she?"

"Ah, Emu-chan? All the time! Sometimes I run around with her instead of going to my classes—"

Mafuyu interrupts them before they get too out of hand with their story. "She hasn't been in for school for a while. I want to talk to her."

"Hmm~~ I can pass that on, if you'd like. I see her in the principal's office a lot, I'll tell her the great Yuki requires her presence, she'll be su~per stoked!"

"Good. Thank you."

The conversation ends there, and Mizuki goes back to haphazardly scribbling notes over the page in their trademark pink scrawl. The notebook is well-worn around the edges, indicating good use. The pen smudges as they rush the final details. It's extremely cluttered, and there are a few glaring spelling errors, but Mafuyu does have to admit that the outfits are incredibly intricate – far better than anything she could ever create.

Or at least, far better than anything she could create the way she is now. Perhaps the kind-hearted academic wonder of a girl she has to force herself to be at school and around her parents could come up with something better. Maybe even perfect.

God, she's sick of that word. It makes her sound much bigger than she really is.

Shizuku would understand.

The embers return for a moment. Mafuyu coughs briefly, clears her mind, and pushes them away, sick and tired of the stupid feeling threatening to bring her entire facade crashing down.

"I'm going to sleep."

"Goodnight, Yuki!"

Hopefully Emu knows what to do.

9

And that's how she ends up alone on the rooftop with her junior, a sizeable bag of taiyaki shoved into her bento box as a sort of Emu-bait.

It's cold still, but not as cold as the days before. The forecast predicts it'll only get worse over in Shibuya, and Mafuyu rues the countdown to Christmas in this weather, rues the annoying kids living on her street throwing massive snowballs at her window for the nth year in a row. She always does. It's like a seasonal annoyance, one tailored just for her.

Not like she cares or anything. It's just that the sound of the snow constantly thudding against the glass panes sometimes puts her off of her lyric-writing.

Emu begins to speak, immediately wrenching her out of her thoughts with her trademark high pitched voice. "S-so, Asahina-senpai, what's going on?"

She looks kind of blue. Mafuyu can't tell whether it's from the cold or not, so she throws her scarf over to the short, pink-haired girl and stands up off the freezing bench. Emu screams a little as the warm fabric flies straight into her face along with a miniature wave of melted snow water that comes off of it.

Mafuyu might have laughed if she was able to.

"I was wondering if you could help me with something," she says, choosing to ignore it instead, smiling. "I've been having this feeling recently, Otori-san, and I don't quite know what it could be. My chest seems to get a lot tighter whenever I'm around this girl, and—"

"Ooh, ooh!" Typical Emu, trying to guess before she even finishes her half-hearted explanation. She stands up off the bench too, jumping up to her upperclassman's side. "Asahina-senpai, are you in super-sparkly wonderhoy love?"

...

......Ah.

Well, she sure hopes not.

(Asahina-senpai?)

How can she be in love? She barely even knows what it feels like to be happy. What would it consist of, anyway?

(Asahina-senpaiiiii~~? Earth to Asahina-senpai!)

And with Shizuku, no less? It feels unnatural, almost flat-out insane that she'd ever be able to feel that way towards the idol. After all, it's not like they're similar at all. Shizuku doesn't have to put up with people thinking she's flawless at every turn. Getting mad at her when she messes up at the smallest hurdle. Shizuku would never understand the way Mafuyu has to live up to the expectations of others, and she wouldn't ever be able to comprehend that burning in her chest whenever she sees the other girl around, and—

...and.

They're actually... really similar.

Hold on a moment.

Is this love?

...

Mafuyu's eyes widen as she gazes absentmindedly through the mesh wiring of the fence. The entire district is visible below; the scramble crossing, the mall, even Kamiyama is faintly framed in the distance. It seems so much bigger than her, so much bigger. She imagines standing exactly in the middle. She zooms out. It's huge.

Then there's the courtyard, right below. Mafuyu wonders if Shizuku is down there. Once again she pushes the thoughts away, just as her heart begins to heat.

Why must she harbor these useless feelings? Why not anyone else, anyone who actually understands what they're feeling?

God. This is so troublesome.

She reaches into her bento box, shoves the taiyaki into an extremely confused Emu's hands (letting her keep the scarf), and slowly makes her way over to the staircase down from the roof.

Emu stands alone like a lemon on the roof after she leaves, not quite sure what to do with herself until she remembers the massive bag of food in her hands.

She shrugs to herself, and opens it. There they are. In all their glory. She grins smugly down at the fish-shaped pastries.

She begins to eat her taiyaki.

They taste wonderhoy.

8

Mafuyu goes to school the next day a little pissed off.

The walk there is normally the best part - quiet, unassuming, almost a little like the empty Sekai she’s treasured for so long now. Today it feels more troublesome than usual, and she has a sneaking suspicion as to the reason why.

Emu avoids her at the gate after a very hurried hello. Mafuyu is surprised to see she still has some taiyaki left in the bag from yesterday afternoon.

Of course, when she sees Shizuku waving stupidly with a big grin at her through her class window, the fire in her heart kicks up again. Of course, as soon as she reaches her own lesson, she's surrounded by cretins asking for help with their assignments. (She helps them, obviously, no matter how angry she might be.) Of course, once again, it's another day of being treated as exponentially more amazing than everyone else.

Inside, she really, really wishes everybody in the room was a corpse.

The teacher enters the class and cuts off her tragic little monologue before it even starts. That pisses her off even more.

A date and title is written on the whiteboard. The class gets to writing it down, but again, Mafuyu looks down at her paper and realises she’s subconsciously managed to put it on the sheet before everyone else. She must have written it before the teacher came in. The handwriting is neat and perfect and makes her feel a little bit sick.

Well. She can't exactly protest against her own habits, can she?

So Mafuyu simply gulps it down, smiles, and sits up as smartly as she can, ready for her next instruction.

...

It takes about an hour for her teacher to finally stop speaking, and the bell to ring at long last.

She grumbles to herself in her head as she shoves her books back in her bag (smiling brightly on the outside, of course)  and strides towards the classroom door, surprisingly being the first one of her classmates to reach it. After a quick nod from her teacher to tell her she can leave, Mafuyu swings the door open, ready to take her short moment of respite while she eats her bento.

...So much for that pipe dream.

Because as soon as she opens it, she manages to swing the door right into Shizuku Hinomori's face.

(Which makes absolutely no sense, by the way.)

Still, even though it seems like a wild hallucination, she realises it's true when sudden force causes the blue-haired girl to slam into the wall, and crumple to the ground.

"Hinomori-san!" Mafuyu gasps after a short delay of her standing there in complete disbelief, immediately crouching down to help her up again. "Are you alright?"

"Ah, yes, thank you... wait, Asahina-san, I was looking for you!" Her tone instantly changes when she realises the identity of the girl helping her stand.

Oh God.

"What's wrong?"

"Well," starts Shizuku, fixing her hair with one hand and leaning with the other against the door. "I know you're very busy, but I was wondering if you'd like to come to a Christmas Eve party at my house, in about a week or so. My sister wants to invite her friends over, and my idol group are going to be there too—"

Mafuyu tunes out the rest of the girl's ramble.

Sure, she has to go anyway, if she wants any chance of keeping her persona intact. But something within her is curious to see more of Shizuku outside of the school grounds, to have a short glance at who she really is behind her natural talent and beauty.

After Shizuku finishes speaking, Mafuyu giggles quietly under her breath before eventually agreeing. "That sounds good to me."

And Shizuku smiles, genuinely, before pulling her into a hug.

7

"God, Mafuyu, you're so annoying."

One thing leads to another, and now Ena Shinonome is sat next to her on the cloudy grey stage of the Empty SEKAI, messing with a black dress shirt laid down on the cold floor in front of them. It's her outfit for the party. At Shizuku's house. Mafuyu grunts as Ena pulls her head back, trying to get a better view of the way the shirt would look on her figure.

"Where the hell are you even going, anyway?" she asks, gesturing for Mafuyu to put it on over her uniform. "And why wasn't I invited?"

"One of my peers asked me to attend." Her voice is monotone, the way it should be.

Not like I want to, is what Mafuyu wants to add. Unfortunately, things aren't just that easy for her anymore, especially not after telling Emu about her feelings.

Because once again, one thing led to another. Now Mizuki thinks she's head over heels in love too, and she's pretty sure Ena has a faint idea of the situation too. She's just lucky they don't know who it is. Mafuyu knows they're pretty good friends with Shizuku anyway, so that'd be nothing short of disastrous.

The shirt is on now. Mafuyu looks at her reflection in the empty fish tank a few paces away from where they're sat, and even she has to admit Mizuki did a good job preparing it for her. Within a night. It seems impossible, and if she didn't know how insane they actually were as a person, Mafuyu would probably think it was.

Mizuki will be Mizuki, she supposes.

Ena snaps her out of her brief thoughts by walking over to her and placing a hand on her shoulder, gesturing for her to turn around. "You don't even have to try, do you?"

"Try what?"

"To look good." There's a hint of annoyance in her voice. Mafuyu doesn't blame her. "There are girls out there who would kill to look like you."

"I'm aware." She undoes the top button of the shirt to make it a little more comfortable. Ena doesn't protest, clicking her tongue and pulling out her phone, presumably to leave the SEKAI.

Mafuyu raises an eyebrow. "Why are you going?"

"You've got a week, idiot. I can't help you. You need to find someone else."

"I see."

"Well, whatever. Good luck, Mafuyu."

She disappears in a mass of colorful triangles, without another word.

Mafuyu stays by her fish tank, staring blankly through the clear glass and into the depths of the water contained within its walls. Her reflection stares back.

6

Honami Mochizuki is actually quite remarkable.

Or at least, that’s the discovery that Mafuyu makes when she finds herself at Kanade’s house in the middle of the night the day after Ena gives up on her.

She’s seen the housekeeper in person before, of course — with her being in the year below, it’s almost a certainty that she looks up to her senior like everyone else. Even then, Mafuyu’s always been able to see a bit of a difference in her to everyone else. Something about her is new. It’s new, compared to what she normally sees from her juniors; or the ones that chase her around everywhere for advice, anyway.

Her and Ichika Hoshino. She’s always held them a little higher than everyone else in the year below her. They seem to be willing to show kindness to her, and that isn’t just something Mafuyu forgets.

So now, based on former experiences, it isn’t much of a surprise to see her caring for Kanade. The surprise comes when Honami sees her watching her wash the dishes and manages to strike up a conversation.

“It’s nice to see you, Asahina-senpai,” she begins, picking up a bowl and scrubbing at it with her sponge. “What brings you here? It’s quite late, after all.”

The kitchen is absolutely tiny - and completely dishwasher-free, too. Mafuyu glances quickly around the area as she tries to come up with an excuse on the spot. Unfortunately for her, all she finds are a few packets of Kool-Aid mix left abandoned next to the sink.

Even so, she’d rather not worry her junior with the easy answer of “I felt like it”; after all, it’s not like she’s ever seen the real her in the first place.

So a little white lie won’t hurt, right?

“Ah, Kanade-san asked me if I wanted to sleep over tonight. If it’s a problem, I can always go home?”

Honami pauses for a moment but eventually smiles, Mafuyu’s story evidently taking a small weight off of her mind. “No, no, not at all! Feel free, as long as Yoisaki-san doesn’t mind. She’s upstairs, if that’s where you’d rather be.”

“Ah, alright. Thank you very much, Mochizuki-san.” She smiles back.

And without another word, she makes her way up to Kanade’s room. Honami raises an eyebrow at the girl’s seemingly rushed departure, but quickly shrugs to herself and returns to the dishes. It’s none of her business anyway. These plates won’t clean themselves.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Mafuyu opens the door and is greeted by Kanade passed out on top of her keyboard, a half-empty glass of Kool-Aid left abandoned on the desk next to her synthesizer.

Is she surprised? Absolutely not.

The room is dark, and there are music sheets scattered all across the floor. On the bed, at least 20 compositions lay completely abandoned; Mafuyu picks one up carefully to ensure she doesn’t smudge the pen and recognises it as the bridge to their newest song. She stacks the sheets of paper and puts them aside, pulling back the covers of the bed and crawling into it without another word.

They can talk in the morning.

Mafuyu sleeps.

5

But she doesn’t sleep for long, because just before she feels like she’s rested up properly, Kanade falls right off her chair and wakes up the entire neighbourhood.

Bang.

“Ow.” There’s a rustling by the edge of the bed, and Mafuyu reluctantly opens her eyes to find the girl slumped up against it, rubbing at her head. Rapid footsteps come up the stairs and Honami bursts into the room, ice-pack in hand, immediately by Kanade’s side.

“Yoisaki-san! Yoisaki-san, are you alright?”

She takes the ice-pack, groaning as it makes contact with her head. “I think so.”

How pathetic.

Mafuyu doesn’t bother watching the rest of the situation unravel. She turns around in the bed in order to face away from the two girls on the floor next to her, and closes her eyes again. They feel so, so heavy. At any second, it feels like she could—

Honami swings the blind open, and Mafuyu almost hisses as the sunlight enters the room.

The night has ended. Morning has broken. Shizuku’s party gets ever closer, and she still hasn’t got any decent advice on… well, anything at all, really.

She sits up in the bed again, and after lifting a dejected Kanade back onto her chair, Honami comes over and offers to get her a drink. The glare from the window is harsh. Her throat feels like it’s about to rip itself right out. Still, Mafuyu shakes her head before standing up, her eyelids still heavy.

“Thank you, Mochizuki-san, but I’ll get one myself.”

“Ah, alright.” She nods, and goes back to fawning over Kanade as her senior leaves the room.

The Kool-Aid packets are still on the kitchen counter when she reaches the downstairs floor. It doesn’t take long for her to make herself a glass and sit down on the couch (which clearly hasn’t been used for a very, very long time). As she sips the drink she thinks about lots of things.

Troublesome. That seems to be the only word she truly resonates with anymore.

…

Well.

At least it helps remind her of a certain person.

Before she leaves the Yoisaki residence, she goes out to buy a sizeable apple pie as an apology.

4

“Amia, please stop blasting Christmas songs in VC.”

It doesn’t work. It never does, no matter how much she complains.

Because when you’re alone on Nightcord call with Akiyama Mizuki, they might as well have a remote that controls your entire being. You’re at their complete mercy, and from hours upon hours of staying up later with them to talk and try to relax, Mafuyu can pretty much guess what comes next.

After dragging out their current project and beginning to work on it, Mizuki points at her through the camera, laughs as obnoxiously as they can, and turns up the volume of the music bot.

Exactly what she expected.

“Yuki, it’s Mariah or nothing, I’m afraid~“ Mizuki winks, giggling again and subtly nodding their head to the beat of the music.

Mafuyu frowns. “I’d rather have the nothing.”

“Aww, but that’s no fun! Besides, why are you here, anyway? I thought you sorted everything out for your little party with Ena.”

The call goes silent for a moment.

“She gave up on me.”

“WHAAAAAT?”

Mizuki quickly pushes their sketchbook aside, staring straight down the camera with their jaw practically dropped to the floor. It doesn’t take long for them to start violently clicking at their keyboard, and when Mafuyu checks the Nightcord call again to ensure they’re not causing too much trouble, she notices the new addition of someone all too familiar to the members list.

A few seconds later, there’s a call join sound. And a few seconds after that, a harsh scream down the mic from their favourite artist.

“AMIA! YOU RUINED MY PAINTING!”

They pout, reclaiming the sketchbook from the edge of the desk. “Well, you ruined Yuki’s super cute love life, and I will never forgive you, Enanan.”

“What? With some girl she probably doesn’t even care for?” Ena scoffs to herself and pushes back her chair. She picks up a paintbrush and returns her focus to the canvas behind her computer. “Look, Yuki, you’ll be fine. You could wear Amia’s trash bag and still be the handsomest fucker in the building.”

“That’s reassuring,” Mafuyu lies, not reassured at all.

Still, Mizuki moves on the conversation, a talent they’ve picked up pretty easily from being the group’s mediator. “Did you rest up, though? You look a little tired~”

“I went to K’s house.”

“Brilliant,” Ena spits. “You spent the night with an insomniac.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Did they at least give you any ideas?” Mizuki questions.

Well, from the many glasses of Kool-Aid, and the minor heart attack she had to suffer from in the morning after Honami accidentally ruined her sleeping schedule, the obvious answer is… absolutely not, no.

But something about the way the night went, something about the way Kanade managed to so effortlessly fuck up her morning…

Somehow, some way, Mafuyu sees there could be something to pick up from it.

“Yes, actually.”

Ena and Mizuki both absentmindedly lean in a little towards their webcams, clearly expecting a groundbreaking answer from the purple-haired girl on the other end.

Unfortunately, they don’t receive it.

“I suppose I could just,” Mafuyu pauses, “not try.”

…

Ena groans, her head quickly planting itself into the palms of her hands.

“Yuki, I was literally just talking about that.”

3

She puts her newfound realisation of the art of ‘not giving a fuck’ into effect the next day at archery practice.

Shizuku is present yet again, as she always is, but this time she’s surprised to find their clubmates have also decided to attend due to the sudden improvement in the weather. All the bows have been removed from the hooks, even the ugly smaller ones that nobody in their right mind ever uses, and it’s then that Mafuyu realises she’ll probably be training juniors today instead of practising her own shots.

Before she even manages to sling her arrow sheath over her back, she’s quickly overrun by a swarm of eager first years. Why wouldn’t she be? Her seniors’ favourite activity seems to be dumping all the trainees onto her.

Not that they mean to piss her off. They just think she’s the most talented of the bunch, and that she should be the one to teach them the ropes.

But when Mafuyu catches herself staring at Shizuku as she manages to hit yet another perfect bullseye, she realises just how wrong they actually are.

Because she may be more skilled, sure. Shizuku, however, has something else about her, a special will to do better that easily puts her ahead.

Mafuyu wonders just how it would feel to be that way.

“Look after my bow, alright?” she asks, handing it to the nearest junior as she walks towards the idol. “I’ll be back in a moment, so just tell everyone practice on their own for now.”

“Sure thing, Asahina-senpai.” The kid runs off.

And Mafuyu is left (pretty much) alone with the girl who got her into this unknown territory.

“Hinomori-san,” she opens, greeting her friend with what she likes to believe is a well-constructed smile. “It’s nice to see you here again, even after last week’s weather. I wish I had your dedication.”

Her bow lowers, and she grins with that trademark idol sparkle. “Ah, thank you, thank you! But it’s not dedication, really. I just genuinely love being here.”

“I see. That must be why you’re improving so much.”

Shizuku blushes slightly at the compliment, laughing as she hugs Mafuyu for a moment, before pulling away and thanking her again. The archery training ground is much, much more lively than it was the week before, and on any other day, Mafuyu would probably be irritated by all the noise.

But somehow, today, it makes her feel a bit more at ease.

‘Not giving a fuck’ is fun. She should do it more often.

After that revelation, Shizuku speaks again, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face.

“Oh, and about the party! You can come over tomorrow if it doesn’t interfere with anything, Asahina-san. Me and Shii-chan would appreciate a few extra hands with the setting up.”

“It won’t interfere with anything at all.” Even if it does, Ena’s advice rings true in her mind.

Mafuyu is going to survive this party.

She hopes she manages to survive her stupid half-crush (or whatever the hell it may be) on Shizuku, too.

2

What she doesn’t survive, however, is the massive huddle of people at the front door of the Hinomori household.

Hoshino Ichika and Mochizuki Honami are sat by Shizuku’s sister on the stairwell, with another girl Mafuyu hasn’t seen around before resting her head in Ichika’s lap. Shizuku blocks off the hallway (whether on purpose or by accident, she’ll never really know) and the first thing she does when she gets inside the house is bang her head off the top of the doorframe.

“Asahina-san!” Shizuku gasps, rushing to her side, almost exactly like Honami to Kanade a few days before. “That looked like it hurt, are you alright? I could get you something to—”

“No, no. It’s just my height.” She points to the top of her head. Shizuku’s sister raises a curious eyebrow at her.

A great start to the evening, and an even greater start to the party in general.

She sits on the couch while Shizuku and Honami decorate the house together, the blonde girl from the stairwell occasionally pitching in to help with bringing the decorations upstairs. The remaining girls are messing around with a certain red-berried plant that Mafuyu recognises all too well.

It’s mistletoe.

“Shiho, please?” Ichika frowns, reaching up to the doorframe and placing the mistletoe on top of it. “I’m sure we could catch the two of them under it. Hell, maybe Saki and Honami could—“

“Yeah, yeah, fine. But… fuck, you do realise what you’ve just done, right?”

Shiho points up to where Ichika just placed the mistletoe, blushing slightly as she does. The dark-haired girl simply stares at it for a second before realising what she’s caused.

“Oh. Oh.”

“My God, Ichika. You’re lucky we’re dating.” She’s leaning in, one hand practically grabbing at the sleeve of her loose sweatshirt and the other cupping her cheek. “Come here.”

Mafuyu grimaces and looks away just in time. She sips at the tea Shizuku insisted on supplying her after the incident at the door earlier and tries not to comprehend the fact that holy shit, her maybe-crush’s sister is kissing her junior right in front of her.

Ena. Think Ena. No fucks given. It’s alright.

This is completely under control.

And luckily, just as she’s certain she can hear the… happenings… behind her starting to get more intense, Shizuku and Honami’s voices call everyone upstairs to look at the lights and Christmas decorations. Mafuyu stands up, dusts off Mizuki’s black dress shirt, and makes her way to the next floor.

When she gets there, it feels unlike anything she’s ever experienced in her entire life.

Red and green LEDS are draped across the banister of the stairwell, and there’s different colours of tinsel over every single doorframe. Mafuyu even notices a tiny Santa Phenny-kun plushie next to Shiho’s bedroom door (which she notices the girl smile at fondly before looking away as if nothing had happened). There’s a small tree near the front door of the house with pretty much everything you could imagine heaped onto the branches; something Mafuyu wouldn’t even dream of seeing back in her own home.

It feels nice to see everything lit up like these. She almost smiles, and it almost feels real.

The Hinomoris feel like home.

Shizuku feels like home.

And everything finally starts to make sense, as the conversations with everyone start to mold together and form something bigger and warmer within her.

1

The party is admittedly quite fun.

Shizuku’s idol unit are the first to arrive, of course — Mafuyu gets the privilege of being able to block the hallway herself this time, which is a lot nicer than having about a few centimetres squared of space around her to breathe in. If anything, MORE MORE JUMP have way less than she did. She decides she doesn’t want to watch the rest of the guests arrive out of fear of suffocation.

So later on, when she sees Ena Shinonome casually strolling through Shizuku Hinomori’s kitchen, of course she’s a little taken aback by her sudden appearance.

“What are you doing here?” she asks. It comes out sounding a lot more surprised than she intended.

“Fishing. What does it look like I’m doing, dumbass?”

“I don’t see a rod.”

Ena chokes on the soda in her mouth, staring at Mafuyu in utter disbelief. “Are you being fucking serious?”

“What?”

“I’m not actually fishing, idiot.” She puts the soda glass down on the kitchen counter. “It’s a joke, where I say I’m doing something really crazy, which I can’t be doing because—“

“I know. I was kidding.”

…

“Fuck it. I’m out of here.”

Ena leaves the room. She also leaves her soda glass on the table, so Mafuyu goes to pick it up and accidentally-on-purpose has a sip in the process. It’s Pepsi, which doesn’t shock her after snooping around the kitchen yesterday and discovering Shiho’s secret stash.

She reckons Shizuku discovered it too, judging by the 6 empty two litre bottles laid out in a row atop the kitchen counter in front of her.

That’ll be a fun argument to watch later on.

For now, though, she decides it’s a good idea to simply lurk around the kitchen, cheerfully greeting anyone who comes in, even talking to Saki Tenma (she learnt the girl’s name last night, after accidentally walking in on Shiho and all her bandmates cuddling together in her bed) for a moment about her club activities at school. The interactions aren’t really meaningful to her, however, not until a certain airheaded idol manages to wander straight into a wall.

Shizuku slams against the surface, stepping back into the way of the doorframe. Mafuyu immediately starts to walk towards her after putting Ena’s drink back on the table as if she never touched it.

“Ow,” says Shizuku, and for a brief moment Mafuyu catches a horrible case of deja vu.

Honestly, what is it with them and walking into things?

Despite that, however, Mafuyu crouches down to help the girl up, holding both hands in her own as she makes sure Shizuku is all right. It’s then that the guests begin to crowd around them. It’s then that she catches Ichika and Shiho high-fiving eachother across the room, grinning smugly straight at her.

Mafuyu pauses for a moment, then slowly looks up. The room goes dead silent, the only audible sound being Ena loudly slurping at her drink.

She sees it.

It’s red, and it’s green, and it’s a plant.

“Hinomori…san?” She reaches across, still staring up, shaking Shizuku by the shoulder.

“Asahina—“

Shizuku looks up too. She spots the mistletoe above her.

“Oh, what a pretty flower.”

Shiho coughs from across the room, stepping forward into the circle where all the guests are gathered around the doorframe. She taps her sister on the shoulder, whispering a brief explanation into her ear and sheepishly running back to Ichika. Mafuyu notices that they’ve been joined by Saki and Honami now. She wonders if the girls will get that later on too.

But for now she has her own problems, as Shizuku processes Shiho’s information.

…

“OHHHHHHHHH!”

The crowd starts to laugh, a few embarassed sighs dotted within it too. Mafuyu genuinely has to hold in a giggle of her own. It’s the first time that’s happened in a while.

“Wait, I have to kiss Asahina-san?”

The giggle fades. Mafuyu remembers why she’s here, her stupid conversation with Emu, Ichika and Shiho kissing right in front of her like it was nothing.

Now it’s her turn.

…

Ena knows best, of course.

Because her terrible, half hearted advice from over the Nightcord call a few days before is somehow what gives her the confidence to actually make a move.

“I’m sorry,” she utters, tucking a strand of Shizuku’s hair behind her ear.

She closes her eyes, and leans in.

Their lips touch, and after a brief moment of hesitation…

…Shizuku wraps an arm around her body, reciprocating her gesture before pulling away with an awkward laugh.

“Merry Christmas, Asahina-san.”

And Mafuyu’s smile is genuine this time, as the crowd claps, and Shiho widens her eyes in disbelief as she steps back.

“I was joking,” she says, only just in earshot. “I was only kidding, but they actually fucking did it.”

Honami giggles. “That’s the magic of Christmas.”

“That’s cute. Anyway, you’re next.” It’s Ichika. Of course it’s Ichika. Before she leaves the kitchen, Mafuyu catches her trying to wheel Saki and Honami over to the very same plant that caught them both out. Shiho simply follows behind them, laughing quietly to herself at their antics.

When the party eventually ends, and Mafuyu is the last to leave, Shizuku sees her at the door on her way out.

“Asahina-san. I really enjoyed tonight,” she smiles, hugging the girl close to her chest. Mafuyu hugs her back, ignoring the void that builds in her chest no matter what it takes. “I just don’t understand why you apologised before we kissed.”

“Hinomori-san. It was nothing, I promise.”

“…I’ll take your word for it. But please, Asahina-san, if anything is wrong, you can always come to me, all right?”

Mafuyu smiles. “Of course.”

Her smile is no longer genuine, but the snow slowly falling outside and the lights warmly waving her out suggest that maybe, just maybe…

One day, one Christmas, she might be able to kiss Shizuku again and feel something more.