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It’s a wonderful day to celebrate. The weather is chilly but not too cold to walk to the venue, and the heat of the people crammed into the party room is far from stifling. Nazuna feels comfortable at his spot on the wall, arms crossed as he stares across the room.
Mika looks happy. Extremely so. He’s surrounded by friends and acquaintances, and Nazuna can see the slightest flush on his face at all the attention. It’s clear that he’s gotten a lot better at handling all this affection and focus. Nazuna’s been watching him since he’s come in, basically, and he doesn’t think he’s seen him go more than five seconds without being greeted by someone. It makes Nazuna’s chest feel warm, a funny but not unfamiliar feeling that he’s content to bask in in the background.
He adjusts slightly, feeling his skin prickling and unable to settle it. As comfortable as he is, he can’t just knock the strange sense someone is watching him. Or has been, the entire time that he’s been watching Mika. It’s a feeling he used to get a lot more often, back in highschool.
That couldn’t be it, though. He’s not the center of attention right now, and there’s only one person who would ignore that fact. But… Actually, he hasn’t seen him this whole party, has he? Nazuna straightens his back a bit and furrows his eyebrows. It wouldn’t hurt to look away for a bit, as he first turns to look to his left.
To his immediate right, there’s the sound of someone clearing their throat. Nazuna startles, and there’s hands on his shoulders immediately as he almost falls from where he’s leaning, keeping him upright despite his shock. Shu looks back at him, amused and even maybe a little bit… exasperated?
“Oh! Itsuki. Am I in your way?” Nazuna can’t think of why he’d come this way, but even now Shu doesn’t approach him first often without some overprepared reason. And he can’t really think why he’d approach him at Mika’s birthday party either.
“What- Of course not, Nito. I came over to talk to you.” Shu shakes his head, voice slightly chiding as he removes his hands from his shoulders and crosses his arm. Nazuna can feel the nervousness build up again in his throat, choking him as he considers all the reasons he’d want to talk to him.
Tell him to leave, maybe? No… They’ve gotten closer, haven’t they? Mika is one story, but Shu made up with him far quicker. But it is Mika’s birthday. Maybe he’s concerned that Nazuna being here would disrupt his enjoyment. Nazuna wouldn’t blame him. Even if he really, really , hopes that that isn’t the case. He was really enjoying getting to see Mika have fun and be surrounded by his friends. He doesn’t want to go home quite yet.
“...Really? What’s up then?” He manages to keep his voice stable, at least. But some of his nervousness must leak out anyways, and his shoulders tense as he looks up at Shu with a sense of bravado he doesn’t feel.
Shu sighs. He looks as harsh as he always does, but Nazuna can tell a part of his attitude softens as he notices. It makes him hopeful he’ll be given an excuse and left alone, and he can continue on as he had been all night.
“Are you planning on making your way over to talk to Kagehira any time soon?” His words aren’t unkind, even if they are pointed and meant to dig into Nazuna’s behavior. Ah. This is probably a worse line of questioning than being asked why he’s here in the first place, or why he isn’t leaving immediately.
He can feel himself getting flustered, shaking his head slightly. Of course not. He’s not brave enough to go up and give his greetings, and he doesn’t want to risk anything. Not now, not when he and Mika have just started truly getting along again. That’s too valuable to risk breaking.
“Eh… No, no! I don’t want to bother him, he’s having so much fun.” Is what he says instead. It should be believable enough, but Shu gives him a look that says he believes none of it. Honestly, it ticks Nazuna off just a little bit.
Shu knows how things can be weird between the two of them better than anyone. Yet he’s looking at him like he’s stupid for not wanting to push the dynamic they just settled in. Really. Shu of all people?! Nazuna makes his anger known, huffing as the other still doesn’t reply to his excuse.
“What’s that look for?” He asks testily, hands on his hips as his eyebrows furrow in frustration. Shu still doesn’t answer, even if his look smooths out a bit. His eyes darted elsewhere, the direction Mika was certainly in, before looking back at Nazuna intently.
He knows he won’t win an argument if he starts one right here. Which is probably why he takes advantage of his pose, and slips an arm into Nazuna's, linking him to his side without any indication of being about to do so. Nazuna yelps, and before he can even ask what the hell he thinks he’s doing, Shu steers them towards where Mika is laughing with some of their friends. Nazuna clams up immediately, tense but not fighting the stunt he’s pulling.
“Hmph. It just so happens I have yet to give him my greetings properly. If you will.” Shu looks down at him with a smug look, and Nazuna looks back up at him, maybe just a little bit terrified.
If he was going to greet him, he’d like a warning. Some time to prepare. A year of preparation sounds best. He’ll greet him at his next birthday, for sure. There won’t be any fuss then, and maybe they’ll be just a few inches closer in terms of friendly relationships. That’s the best plan for sure.
They keep getting closer, the few people in front of them clearing the way easily. Nazuna would like to think it’s because the people here are nice, kind people. He knows it’s because they look like idiots waltzing through the crowd like this and no one in even the tiniest bit of their right mind would get in the way of Shu and Nazuna quite clearly having some sort of moment.
“W-Wait a second, Itsuki , I can’t just walk up to him right now and interrupt!” He lowers his voice and leans in closer to make sure he’s heard, not wanting everyone within radius to hear exactly how shaken up he is.
He still feels like he’s going to die.
“I believe you can. Besides, do you not think it rude to not wish him well after coming all the way here?” The amusement he swore he saw earlier is now back with a vengeance, and the corner of Shu’s lips twitch as he suppresses a smile and tries to stay stern. Nazuna reminds himself quietly to get back at him for this later, somehow.
Maybe he’ll return the favor and make him talk to Tsumugi next time he tries to join in his old class’s hangouts out of some weird sense of jealousy. Maybe he’ll stomp on his foot extra hard after this. There’s a lot of options here. Not to mention, it’s a serious decision and he has to spend some time pondering it.
Time which he does not have, as they’re now a little more than a foot away from Mika. The friends around him notice, and excuse themselves. There’s a whine coming from Mika at that, and Nazuna can feel his heart twinge slightly.
“Seriously, if he ends up upset because you dragged me–” He’s still whispering, trying to sound as angry as he feels with none of the fear, as that quite obviously was ineffective. He’s given up on preventing this, but he’s definitely going to let Shu know his time is numbered at this point.
“Kagehira!”
God.
Did he have to call out to them when they were so close?
“Oshi-san-? Ngah, Nazuna-nii!? Ya came t’ celebrate my birthday …?” Mika isn’t surprised to hear or see Shu, but there’s clear shock on his face as he sees Nazuna hanging off the other's arm awkwardly. Which he’s quick to detach himself from now. He gives a slight wave, smiling but saying nothing. Mika is also silent, and Nazuna wonders if it’s too late to start digging a grave to bury himself in after.
“For heaven’s sake, both of you… Nito has spent the duration of this gathering merely observing you from afar. I feared the party would come to an end without so much as a word exchanged between you.” Shu cuts through the silence with surprising ease, and Nazuna starts thinking of more things he could do in revenge. Maybe he could beat him to that cafe he likes tomorrow and spontaneously decide to splurge on croissants right before Shu shows up?
“That’s why you dragged me over?!” Nazuna mutters under his breath, trying to smile despite Mika’s clear confusion, “Ahaha, well, Kagehira’s–” Oh. Mika looks a bit upset all of a sudden. Nazuna clears his throat, trying something else. “...Mika-chin’s the star of the show today, so I figured he was busy. Are you enjoying the party?”
Acting like a doting senior, making sure he’s okay, enjoying himself, assuring him it wasn’t any fault of his that Nazuna hadn’t greeted him yet. It’s all his own issues and hang ups. And, well, his want for Mika to have an enjoyable birthday and not one ruined by his selfishness.
“…Yeah. Everyone’s here celebratin’ with me and I got a ton of presents. I reckon I’m blessed today.” Mika takes his words well, it seems, a bright smile on his face as he looks directly on Nazuna. There’s something complicated in his expression, even if it’s something ultimately happy , and Nazuna wishes he had the ability to fully decode it.
Shu seems pleased at this interaction, looking at the both of them before giving Mika a smile of his own. “I, for one, am pleased to see you have amassed many acquaintances above all. Happy birthday, Kagehira.”
“Mhm. Happy birthday! I’m glad you’ve got all these friends to celebrate with this year.” Nazuna tacks on his own congratulations too, that warmth from earlier returning even stronger and more all consuming.
“Thank ya kindly, Nazuna-nii, Oshi-san. ‘M glad both of ya are here too.” Mika’s smile is always something Nazuna cherished, and he’s sure to quietly commit this one to memory, as well his words and the way he leans forward to give him a hug, letting Nazuna hide his face before all of it gets too overwhelming.
Despite the success of his short conversation with the two of them, Nazuna still flees only a couple minutes after he got dragged into it. He’s sure he would have gotten greedy if he had stayed. Maybe insisted on being by Mika’s side for the rest of the night, or joked around a little too casually with the two of them, as if he was fully back into their circle and not just on the precipice of it.
He still doesn’t manage to actually leave, instead hanging out outside and waiting for Leo to answer his texts on if he’s at the dorm tonight or not. If he’s not, and only Natsume is, he’ll probably just stew in whatever this was for a little while longer.
Nazuna doesn’t expect to see Shu and Mika walking out after a while, both carrying an arms worth of bags containing all of Mika’s presents. He really should just let them go by, he did hear earlier that they were both staying at Mika’s apartment tonight, and he feels like he’d almost be intruding if he interrupted their trip back.
But he remembers that brief moment of happiness, and he has enough clarity right now to realize the one who ended it was him and not them.
“Oh! Hey. Party end already?” He decides to speak up, waving and slowly pocketing his phone that he had been glaring at for over ten minutes now. They both stop, before Mika noticeably perks up and Shu clicks his tongue loudly at the comment.
“Hah. ‘Already.’ Kagehira’s friends are insatiable. They wanted to keep him out all night, at the rate they were going.” It’s quite clearly a complaint, but there’s a small tinge of pride in Shu’s words. It’s easy to tell why, not too long ago Mika wouldn’t have these many friends capable of doing so. He’s quick to jump to their defense too, shaking his head.
“Nnah, they’re jus’ excited ‘n all.” Mika pouts at Shu, and Nazuna laughs at the sight of the two of them griping at each other like this.
“Don’t be a downer, Itsuki!” His smile is so wide again it hurts, and he winks at Mika and speaks in an obnoxiously loud whisper, “Mika-chin, did you want me to pull him away? I’m sure everyone would be happy if you wanted to go back in and continue~”
As much as he didn’t really think he’d accept the joke offer, Nazuna would have truly done it in a heartbeat. Mika laughs along though and just shakes his head, pulling the gifts closer.
“No! Ta be honest, it was gettin’ kinda overwhelmin’...” And he does sound a bit tired, Nazuna reasons. It actually makes him feel the slightest bit guilty that he stopped him on their way out, as he’s sure relaxing at his place with Shu would be a lot less stressful than standing out in the chill with Nazuna desperately trying to have a conversation with him. His smile turns a bit tight as he gives them another wave.
“Okay, okay~ The offer still stands. Have a safe trip back home, and have a good night both of –” Nazuna tries to be a good person and send them on their way, mindful of the time of night and the long walk to the train station during this time of year. But just like he has been many times this night, Nazuna finds himself caught off guard.
Both of them lean forward towards him, speaking at the same time with no coordination, causing his eyes to widen in surprise at their eagerness.
“Did’ya wanna come with?” “Would you like to join us?” Their voices blend together in a similar sentiment, the same tone, despite the awkward differences in wording. Nazuna stares at them for a couple seconds, in disbelief. Then he bursts into laughter, all the anxiety from the night bubbling out into something happier and good and making the night seem brighter than it was a mere five seconds ago.
“Pftt… I’m sorry it’s just…If you both don’t mind then, sure. I’d love to.” He finally manages to quell his amusement, smiling a bit mischievously as he walks up and settles in between the both of them. Lucky for him, they both have exactly one hand free. He takes both of them to hold before straightening his posture. “Hup!”
“Nito?!” “Nazuna-nii?!” They somehow manage to speak at the same time again , though Mika sounds distinctly more happy and Shu sounds… Like he’s about to faint, honestly. Nazuna wouldn’t put it past him, either.
“What, is this some new thing you guys have now? Come on, don’t get so flustered by this much!” He teases both of them as he squeezes their hands gently, starting to walk with the two on the path they were on earlier. Their hands are warm, and it’s nice to know his hands still fit so nicely in both.
“S-Still… Is this not too much? We are still in public, Nito! Ahh… But to be holding your hand again, the folly of believing Christmas miracles make sense… Even if it is belated.” …Well, it’s nice to know as always this part of Shu hasn’t changed, though Nazuna feels some relief that he’s at least adapted to have the ability to continue walking the right way while rambling about showing affection. Mika snorts next to him and bumps his shoulder with his, even if he also has a light dusting of red on his cheeks that is very telling.
“Ehe. Ignore ‘im, do ya remember the way ta my apartment? Oshi-san’s gonna make dinner tonight.” He looks elated at the fact, even though Nazuna remembers once upon a time he used to eat nothing but Shu’s cooking. How funny it’s become a treat instead of staple in his life.
“Of course. As if I’ll let you eat garbage on your birthday, ridiculous. I’m sure you’ll find it to your liking, my Nito.” Shu manages to recover rather quickly, inserting himself back in the conversation. Nazuna can feel his hand gripping his a little tighter now too, looking down at him softly.
Nazuna remembers the revenge he planned earlier. While he’d usually do something Shu wouldn’t like to do, he decides he’ll be a bit kinder this time. He tilts his head slightly as he smiles back at him.
“Mhm! I’m excited to try your cooking again, Oshi-san.” Said with as much affection as he can, and it works like a charm, Shu turning bright red and looking at him in shock. His mouth opens and closes silently for a couple of minutes as they walk, before he opts to simply nod and look back towards the sidewalk.
Mika laughs again, and Nazuna feels like chasing the sound once more.
“Haven’t seen ‘im this tongue-tied in while~ Ya should do that to Oshi-san more often Nazuna-nii!” Mika no doubt suggests it as a joke, just like his ‘favor’ offered earlier, but Nazuna would go to the ends of the earth for him. So he nods seriously, making a show of considering it. The delight on Mika’s face in reaction to it is hard to beat.
“Maybe I should. Oh, wait, is that a birthday wish? I can do my best tonight.”
“Both of you are trying to kill me.”
Shu wasn’t kidding when he said Nazuna would like the meal, though that was far more due to the laughter and closeness he got to share with the other two throughout the night. He was surprised when there was even a bottle of Champagne brought out, “ Authentic Champagne, from the region itself, mind you.”
They end up talking and drinking for hours, and by the time Nazuna notices the time itself, it’s far too late, and he’s already settled into the lull of whatever dream this is.
“I know I said it earlier, but happy birthday Mika-chin. And thank you.” Nazuna’s voice is quiet in the face of the blaring TV recording of some Christmas special he stopped watching about half an hour ago, curled up on the edge of the couch in Mika’s living room, only a couple inches from where he was sitting with his legs tucked on the opposite edge.
It’s clear he wasn’t expecting any conversation any time soon, tired from the long day and the chaos they were all creating only an hour earlier, when Nazuna suggested he’d stay the night too. Nazuna is patient, letting him fully comprehend it. He tilts his head to the side slightly, looking at Nazuna with unabashed curiosity, his usual harshness and awkwardness around the other softened by a good meal and a peaceful night.
“... Fer what exactly?” His voice is louder than Nazuna’s, cautious but leaning in a bit closer. He smiles, indulgent and full of a happiness unique to them.
“Just this. Thanks for being patient with me, now.” He rests his head on the back of the couch, looking at him as though his junior hung the very stars in the sky with such a simple favor. Mika blushes deep, eyes avoiding Nazuna’s gaze in embarrassment. It’s cute. Maybe it’s the glass of champagne Shu brought that he’s been nursing, but courage fills his veins with fire and makes him lean even closer. The red on his face looks even better up close.
“I ain’t doin’ anything special, Nazuna-nii. All that’s different is ‘m not lettin’ the past get ta me anymore, not as much at least.” Mika’s honesty is the best belated Christmas gift he could ask for, and the butterflies in his stomach cause him to twist and turn even closer towards him. Mika doesn’t lean in himself, but he doesn’t make any move to further their distance either.
Gold and blue look back at him with curiosity and cause the burn in his stomach get even brighter and hotter, and yeah. That champagne is doing something , because Nazuna resolves to do something far too crazy for him to do in any sane state of mind.
“Yeah. And that’s a lot already. So let me give you one more birthday gift?” He’s gentle as he’s suddenly mere inches away from him, whispering as if to try and not alert the other person in the apartment with them. A flash of confusion passes over Mika’s face, but Nazuna doesn’t miss the few seconds his eyes flick down to his lips.
He continues smiling.
“Eh? Did’ya manage to sneak in another present when I wasn’t looking –?!” Mika mumbles, in disbelief as Nazuna had already given him a present at the party. But Nazuna doesn’t let him finish, leaning in and connecting their lips without any hesitance.
It’s not the first time he’s kissed Mika, but it’s definitely the softest and briefest kiss they’ve shared in all their time together. Mika’s lips are slightly chapped, as much as Nazuna wishes he would learn to use chapstick regularly the consistency of his habits is comforting, and he’s in too much shock to do much more than lean into Nazuna before he’s already pulling away. Smile blinding, Nazuna giggles before resting his head on his elbow.
“I hope you enjoyed it, Mika-chin.” He doesn’t bother whispering now, Mika rendered immobile, a hand resting gently on his lips and the tips of his ears pink as he looks at Nazuna with surprise and mushy feeling he can only hope is love , as it always had been.
He knows Mika asked him to render Shu tongue-tied this evening, but he thinks it’s just as good of a look on him as well. Maybe he should kiss him more often. Though he’s sure he’s going to groan about his stupid bravery in the morning, he relishes the reaction he gets now.
Until he hears a scandalized gasp from behind the couch, causing both of them to look in the direction of the sound. Shu stands in front of them, tense and glowering at them both. Mika still looks the same mere seconds after the kiss, and Nazuna feels a bit smug about that fact and the clear jealousy on his face.
“Wait a second! Nito?! Just now, did you, to Kagehira?!” He can’t even bear to say the word ‘kiss’, the idiot. Nazuna just shrugs, looking unapologetic at the fact Shu had somehow managed to see him kissing Mika.
Maybe he should have cared a little more , as Shu wastes no time on making his way to the couch, hands on Nazuna’s cheeks as he pulls him towards his own face, determined and definitely just as tipsy as he is despite all his bragging earlier.
“Unnyah?! Wyait, you’re swupposed to still be getting the extra byed ready…! Ew, wait, Itsuki back up, it’s not your birthday so wait…!! ”