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After the business with Cuddly Dick, a peace settled over yonderland. This was especially welcome to the Elders’ Youngers, who had been terribly missing their parents.
This terrible yearning was of course mutual. The Elders had hated the further postponement of bringing the Youngers home. Imperatrix’s demise was supposed to have been the end. They had expected perhaps a few weeks or months of everything re-settling, of recuperation and true safety being reached, but Cuddly dick’s betrayal had flung that right in the chamber pot, and his wig-driven his play for power had prevented the youngers coming back until everything was properly, definitely safe.
But eventually it was all over - for real this time - and the decision was made for the Youngers to come back home for Thanktival now that it was safe for them to do so.
Things felt back to normal now, for the most part, with the children home. But it was a new normal, now. Sort of like the old normal, but with some new additional bits.
For example, Negatus was no longer an Evil Overlord, fighting to win the realm for the dark forces and killing a bunch of people; now he mostly did his own thing, and only occasionally killed some people, and most of those were accidental. He helped the Elders out sometimes, since the Demons liked them so much and so did Debbie.
Debbie herself was still the Chosen One, they’d all agreed that she could keep the title even if her original prophecy had been fulfilled, and now she just sort of helped out when needed, popping over from her side of the portal. And that was another thing that was both new-and old normal. Debbie still spent as much time in Yonderland as she had before, but now she wasn’t sneaking around about it. She’d told her husband and her children, and they were now as much of a part of Yonderland as she was. Instead of spending almost every second of her time in Yonderland wandering the realm and helping people, she took her kids on picnics, or they had sleepovers with the Youngers when she wasn’t being the Chosen One. It had become more of a second home.
But there was a bigger change-but-not-change for Vex specifically.
With the Youngers home, his family was back together once again. He had missed them being all in one place, ached for it during Imperatrix and Cuddly Dick’s terrible reigns. Now he no longer had to miss them, they were with him again, and it was just like before Imperatrix and Bad Wig had darkened their realm’s doorstep.
Except… it was more than that, now, because his family had also expanded.
Debbie’s arrival meant that his long lost cousin was finally known to him - and eventually, their family connection was known to her, too. It changed everything, in a way. He had a cousin, a cousin-in-law, and a nephew and niece. It was almost a mirror for Debbie, having a cousin-in-law of sorts in Ho-Tan since she was Vex’s partner, and nephews in Irk and Alvin.
And with that knowledge of her family, Vex had a standing invitation to come to Debbie’s house whenever he liked. Both had wanted to get to know the other properly, like family should, and more specifically they had wanted to know each other's children. Vex had wanted her to get to know Irk, and Debbie had been just as desperate for him to know the twins.
It was glorious.
But of course, it wasn’t always just them. Ho-Tan came too a lot of the time because she was Vex's partner, and Alvin came with them because he was Ho-Tan's son, and Irk's brother; a tiny family unit nestled within the bundle of parents and kids that made up the Elders and Youngers.
They spent many a family day together, either in Yonderland or Earth, hanging out and making up for all that lost time spent apart being unknown to each other, or keeping the world from collapsing into darkness. Now that was over they could just do normal things like play games or go for walks or bake biscuits with the children - or sit with cups of tea in Debbie’s front room, like they were doing currently, chatting over everything and nothing.
Slowly, Debbie and the twins had been introducing Irk and Alvin (and Vex and Ho-Tan) to Earth kids entertainment; aka, Disney films.
Animation had taken a little while to get the hang of, acceptance-wise, and Pete had put together a little powerpoint presentation for them to help explain what it was and what it wasn’t (namely; magic). Debbie had done the research and Pete had made the presentation, a reasonably boring but kind of interesting night for her, and a fantastic night for Pete, who loved a good powerpoint - as did Vex and Ho-Tan, as it had turned out.
Currently, the kids were upstairs re-watching Basil the Great Mouse Detective, a combined favorite for all four, while the adults sat downstairs with warm mugs and two packs of biscuits. (Vex had commandeered a pack of Bourbons to himself, while Ho-Tan and Debbie were going to town on a pack of Pink Panthers.)
With the kids upstairs and occupied in a relatively non-chaotic way, it gave Debbie the chance to ask something she had been wondering for a while now. When there was a lull in the conversation, she took her chance. “Can I ask you guys something?”
“Of course Deb-Beh!” Vex said, and Debbie smiled. She’d gotten used to Vex’s mis-pronunciation of her name, now that she knew that it wasn’t actually a mispronunciation at all. “You can ask us anything.”
“It might be a bit personal,” She warned. “I just, I’ve noticed something about you and the other Elders.”
Ho-Tan shared a glance with her partner, her feet tucked under his thigh. “You can ask, Debbie.”
“How come you and the other Elders only have one child each?” Debbie asked. “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, God no, it’s just, you know, with the five of you, it’s a little strange that all five of you only have the one each. Big coincidence.”
Vex blinked. “One… each?”
“Yes.” Debbie nodded. “I mean, you had Irk, Vex, and Ho-Tan, you have Alvin. And Flo has Daisy, and Pressley has Barry, and Choop has Sepal. One each.”
Ho-tan burst into laughter, Vex doing his breathy little wheeze of a laugh alongside her. She laughed so hard she had to put her mug down on the coffee table to avoid spilling it.
“Oh Debbie,” Vex gasped, “no no, we all have one heir, not just one child!”
Ho-Tan retrieved a hankie from the pocket of her (brightly) knitted jumper, wiping away her laughter induced tears and sniffing.
“We just have Irk and Alvin, and Choop only has Sepal, since he doesn't have any children of his own, but Flowers… far from it!” Ho-tan said with a giggle. “He has six children!”
“S- six?” Debbie gasped. She ate another Pink Panther, hoping the sugar would help her brain process what she was hearing.
“Yes,” Ho-Tan confirmed. “Six; from various partners, but Daisy was the one who showed the most aptitude for the Eldership and so Flowers was happy to take him on. He stays with his mother sometimes, but he prefers living with his father anyway. They get along very well.”
“They do,” Debbie said, reeling. Six kids! She had her hands full with just the two, though she supposed if they didn’t all live with Flowers then it might be a bit easier. But she had seen Flowers and Daisy together and they really were two peas in a pod. All the Elders and their Youngers were.
“Wait, what about Pressley?”
“Oh we’re certain Pressley has another love child somewhere, but he’s never confirmed it.”
“I don’t think he wants to admit it himself,” Ho-Tan said a little snippily, picking her mug back up. “I think he’s in denial.”
“Alfie,” Vex chided, nudging her side.
Ho-Tan looked a little abashed, but not exactly repentant. “Yes, well,” she muttered.
Debbie paused for a second, leaning forward with urgency. “Hang on, did you just say Choop doesn’t have any children of his own? What about Sepal?”
“Oh, Sepal is actually Choop’s nephew,” Ho-Tan informed her kindly, which was news to Debbie.
“Really?”
Vex put his pack of biscuits down. “Yes. Choop never managed to have one of his own. He was asked about having a Snork delivery a few times, but he was always holding out hope for a naturally conceived child, hoping it would come with finding a partner.”
Ho-Tan’s nose wrinkled. “He’s not very good with partners, though.”
“Yes, yes,” Vex commiserated, “too buried in his work and terrible at flirting - and a terrible flirt.”
Ho-Tan turned to him eagerly, stealing a bourbon and dunking it in her tea. “Did he tell you? He snuck off to the city the other day, I think he went to see the crone!”
“No!” Vex gasped, eagerly leaning towards her, eyes gleaming with delight at the thought of gossip.
But when Ho-Tan opened her mouth to spill the beans, Debbie interrupted.
“Sorry, hang on - bit out of the loop here. Snork delivery? Do you mean like- like Stork Delivery? We have that here too, but it’s uh, fake, like a fabel.”
“No, it’s definitely Snork delivery,” Vex told her, “and it's completely real.”
Debbie gestured for them to elaborate.
“Well, anybody who can’t conceive a child through average means, for whatever reason, sends off a piece of themselves - hair or nails or such - to the Snorks, and they deliver a child.”
“It works very well,” Ho-Tan said. “And the child is completely biologically related to the parent. Good for those who need to continue a family line, or who don’t want to adopt.”
“Wow. The wonders of magic.” Debbie was floored. Human technology hadn’t come far enough for that. Human’s could barely clone a sheep, yet Yonderland had perfect test-tube babies? Incredible.
Vex nodded. “Indeed. You have the same, then? This… Stork?”
Debbie made a ‘sort-of’ gesture with her hand. “Well it's just a fairytale. It’s what we tell kids when they ask us where they came from, you know, ‘oh, the stork brought you’, instead of telling them how babies are really made.”
“‘Really’ made?” Ho-Tan questioned, puzzled.
“Shagging,” Debbie explained, then tried again when both Elders gave her a blank look. “Uh, sex.”
Ho-Tan turned pink, but got the picture. “Oh! You mean… natural conception.” She nodded. “Yes, yes. Well, that was Pressley’s method. And Flowers, for all of his children including Daisy. And what Choop was holding out for like I said.”
“Choop never particularly wanted to go down the Snork route, but Elders are required to have an heir, so…” Vex shrugged. “He was thinking about it. But then his nephew expressed interest in an Eldership, so Choop agreed to name him heir.”
“But you did?” Debbie asked. “Go down the Snork route, I mean.”
“Yes,” Vex nodded. “I needed an heir for my Elder’s seat and wasn’t in a position to- to provide one using the ah, the conventional method, as it were. So I had Irk. Ho-Tan had similar reasons.”
“Yes. I was quite excited to be a mother though. I always wanted children. frankly the Elder’s council rules pushing for me to have an heir was a fantastic excuse.”
“And just to double check, you two just have Irk and Alvin,” Debbie asked, looking at them carefully. If Vex was hiding another niece or nephew somewhere that she hadn’t told her about she might just brain him with the packet of bourbons.
“Yes.” Ho-Tan giggled at the wary look on Debbie’s face. “Just the one each, though now technically I suppose it’s the two, each?” The scribe looked to Vex and smiled, as she always did when their children were brought up. “We’re a family now, a unit. Irk is as much mine now as Alvin is Vex’s.”
Vex beamed at her, full of love, and kissed her forehead. “And I treasure that. As do they, dear.”
Debbie watched them with soft eyes. “Did you two ever think of having a third?” She enquired, curious, “or I guess, a second, back before you were together.”
Vex blinked, looking suddenly back at Ho-Tan.
"A- a third?" Ho-Tan asked weakly.
Vex tried to add something, but it came out completely unintelligible.
Debbie bit her lip, looking with slight worry towards her cousin’s stricken face. "Sorry did I put my foot in it?"
"No no, I suppose... I've just never really thought about it. I don’t think either of us ever considered the possibility at all, actually." Ho-Tan looked at Vex but he was still helpless, sputtering out only vague syllables and shaking his head. "We each had our Younger because it was expected of us. Don't get me wrong Debbie, we love them and we don't regret having them at all, but once we had them, we stopped thinking of anything like that.” She wrinkled her nose. She hated to think of it, like they had had their children and gone ‘job done!’ But that’s actually exactly what they had done. Once they had had Alvin and Irk, thoughts of more children hadn’t even entered their heads.
That… that made Ho-Tan uncomfortable, for some reason, and she felt Vex’s thighs start to tremor faintly where they covered her feet.
She quite suddenly didn’t want to talk about this any more, feeling butterflies in her stomach, and Vex shifting uneasily beside her made her wonder if he felt the same.
Debbie opened her mouth again, but the two Elders were saved from her asking anything else when Hayley’s voice came roaring down the stairs.
“Mum!” Somethings wrong with the DVD player!”
Debbie sighed and went to go sort it out, and by the time she came back down, Vex questions about films ready and waiting to be discussed - nothing to do with children in the slightest.
The coversation at Debbie’s had activated something in Ho-Tan.
Babies were not a new thought for her. She often found her mind wandering back to when Alvin was just a baby, or when Brian could barely walk and she would find him pulling dwn books and bottles and anything else in reach until someone would come and pick him up.
But after that most recent visit to Debbie’s, it was constant. Baby thoughts were sticking in her brain like thorns. Every time she thought she had dislodged one, another five appeared barely moments later, stuck in new and tender spots.
It was a strange feeling. She felt melancholy, wistful, and yet excited all at once. It was a very odd mix, one that confused her greatly, and she did her very best not to let that confusion show in the days after visiting Debbie’s. She didn’t want to concern anybody, least of all Vex - or Gods forbid, the children.
She tried to keep it all inside, but eventually she couldn't hold it in any longer.
“I miss when Alvin was small,” she admitted the next week, curled up against Vex’s chest with her reading glasses on. He was dozing behind her while she worked on decoding her shorthand transcript from the previous elder’s meeting.
She had perhaps hoped to get away with the admission completely, part of her hoping that Vex had fallen asleep completely.
But his answer was clear and quick and she realised he’d barely been dozing at all, just resting his eyes while she warmed his side. “He has grown very tall. Almost as tall as Choop’s lad.”
She could have left it there. Her mind was telling her that she should, but she and Vex had no secrets between them if they could help it and having this weigh on her was becoming too much. “No,” she corrected gently, “I mean when he was a baby. Do you not miss when Irk was tiny?”
“Irk will always be tiny,” Vex muttered, though he was smiling. “But I understand you, Ho-Tan. Yes, I do. He was such a darling baby. He never fussed, not the once.”
“He really didn’t,” Ho-tan remembered. Irk had been the most delightful baby, all the way into toddlerhood. At first his quietness had worried them, but they had determined in the end that he was simply a happy baby. He was content to watch and listen, rather than try and get into anything and everything like the others.
Alvin had been a bit of a middle point, happy to sit quietly with his mum, or the other Elders, but also curious and investigative. He was less raucous than Barry or the others, but quiet trouble was still trouble when you found him halfway up the shelves in the common room.
“I miss having babies about,” Ho-Tan admitted. “I love our children, I’ve loved seeing them grow, but I do find myself missing those times, way back when.”
Vex pulled back to regard her carefully. “This is about what Debbie said, isn't it? When she asked about us having a third?”
She hung her head a little. “I… I think so, yes. They aren’t new thoughts,” she admitted. “I've always had the odd moment where I've missed when Alvin and the others were babies, but it has been more often since Debbie brought that up.”
Vex swallowed heavily, looking away for a moment.
“Vex?”
“Then… then what would you say, perhaps, to- to having another one?”
Ho-Tan blinked, sitting up properly to face him, her work forgotten and abandoned beside her on the sofa. There was probably ink dripping onto the floor, but she didn't even notice - and frankly the flagstones here had seen a lot worse.
“Another Younger?”
Vex nodded. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about, Alfie” he confessed. “I’m sorry. I should have mentioned it sooner, but I thought it might go away, only it hasn't.”
Ho-Tan felt like her stomach had dropped out from under her, like she was floating. “I- I had no idea.” She really, really hadn’t.
“I know. I’m sorry. As I said, I thought it might pass, and I… well, I wasn't sure what you were thinking, either.” Softly, Vex reached out and took her hands in his, thumbs smoothing over her palms. “I miss when the boys were tiny,” he told her. “But more than that, while they are our boys, Alfie, make no mistake - things were different when we had them. You and I were simply colleagues, and though we raised them together we weren't, well, together. I’d like to do it again - together, this time. Really together.”
“Together?” Ho-Tan asked in a rush of air. She could hardly believe what she was hearing.
“Yes.”
“I…” Ho-Tan was floored. Yes, she could admit to having babies on the brain for a little while now, but actually having another one hadn't crossed her mind. Though she supposed, she hadn't let it.
But apparently, it had been on Vex’s for some time now.
“I…”
“I’m sorry,” Vex said immediately, going pale at the sight of Ho-Tan’s shocked face. “I shouldn't have said anything. A child is a lot to-“
He let go of her hands and made to pull away but Ho-Tan grabbed them again, refusing to let him. “Vex, please,” she said, as calmly as she could manage. “I’m not- this is not a bad reaction. I’m simply quite in shock, is all. You caught me off guard.”
Vex sighed heavily in relief.
“But you are right. A child, a third Younger, is a lot to think about. We would have to consider it very carefully. No snap decisions. This isn't like when we had Alvin and Irk. Yes, we chose to have them, and we wanted them, but you can't deny there was pressure there to choose.”
Vex looked to the floor. It was true. He didn't like to admit it, but it was true. There had been a pressure to provide an heir for his elders seat, as an unmarried man with little family. While he loved his little Irk more than anything, he hadn’t quite been ready to be a father at that point in his life. He was single and relatively new to the position of Elder. He’d always envisioned having children when he was married, not becoming a single father because of inheritance reasons. It had felt quite odd and if he was honest, he hadn't been confident enough in himself. The only reason he’d agreed in the end was because the other elders had Youngers too, and they had been raising theirs alongside each other. He knew he would have help.
It had been very similar for Ho-Tan, with no heir. Though she had been more certain in herself. She had desperately wanted to be a mother, so she had agreed to have an heir via Snork. But like him, she hadn't quite envisioned having her first child as part of an inheritance need, as a single woman.
“And it can't just be our decision,” Ho-Tan added quietly. “We each chose to have Irk and Alvin independently, but we aren’t independent anymore. Yes, we have each other but we also have them. To spring a sibling on them without warning would be unfair.”
“We shall have to ask.” Vex agreed. He had been worried about the reaction of his sons. “If we decide to- to-“
“Have another child,” Ho-Tan finished for him. And she smiled. “It would be nice.”
“It would.” He kissed her temple. “So very, very nice.”
Ho-Tan hummed, and he felt the reverberations through his chest. “But no snap decisions,” she said quietly.
“No.” He agreed. “No snap decisions.”
They lasted two weeks.
Ho-Tan felt like she was going slightly crazy. It had only ever been a passing fancy before, but Vex’s confession had awakened some sort of need in her. Everywhere she turned, there was some reminder of the days where the Youngers had been babies. She found a tiny sock in one of her drawers that made her ache. When Vex saw it, she thought he was going to burst into tears - because of course, now that she knew Vex had been thinking about what Debbie had said, too, she could see plain as day that it was just as heavily on his mind as it was hers.
Almost every caught glance, every quiet moment, was filled with a tension. Like a fraying rope getting closer and closer to breaking.
The rope finally snapped while they were in bed together one night, neither able to sleep but pretending that they could, until Vex couldn’t pretend any longer and rolled over, blurting out, “I want another child.”
Ho-Tan had rolled over so fast her nightgown hadn’t managed to follow her properly and ended up twisted almost backwards. “Thank the gods,” she moaned, grasping at Vex’s arms. “I want one too.”
To their credit, they did spend another week talking about it before they approached the boys, hammering out the ‘what if’s, and ‘are we sure’s.
Space was not a problem in the chambers. A solid dual-parentship should prevent any kind of issues with time and care, and if for some reason they struggled, they knew they would have help, just as they had had with Irk and Alvin. The age gap was a bit of a worry, since it would be the largest between any of the Youngers, but that was simply something they would have to talk to the kids about. It was a risk, but one they felt could be managed.
And the timing… Though Yonderand was safe and recovering well, the attempted takeovers by Imperatrix and Bad Wig was still fresh in both their minds - not to mention the reasonably recent 99 year war (so close).
But they couldn't wait around because they were afraid of some hypothetical strife. They’d never have a child if they sat and worried forever. And besides, if there was any time to do it, this was certainly the best. The realm was stable, Imperatrix was gone, Cuddly Dick back to normal and the Overlords either imprisoned or rehabilitated. Yonderland was the safest it had been in decades.
So with their decision made, it was time to talk to the boys.
The Youngers were scattered about the castle. It took Vex little time to find Irk, since he was sat in the chambers reading, but Ho-Tan took a while to find Alvin. Eventually, she tracked him down - looking at bugs in one of the towers.
They convened in Vex’s chambers, which was undoubtedly the tidiest. Ho-Tan’s was now a work-room more than anything else, and was absolutely filled with journals, quills and books and clothes. Every surface was covered, and it was not the place to hold a serious discussion.
So both parents sat their boys down on Vex’s bed, themselves in chairs drawn over from the vanity.
“Boys, we need to talk to you about something.”
Both boys looked at eachother, seeming vaguely worried by their parents serious demenours, before Irk turned to vex.
“Are you a woman?” He blurted, staring at his father with a very intense look. ”It’s okay if you are.”
“What? No?” Vex spluttered, looking at his son with a great deal of surprise. “At least, I don’t think so?”
“Oh. Okay.”
“I know Alvin and I might have set a bit of a precedent,” Ho-Tan said, struggling to contain her laughter, “but just because somebody has news, it won’t always be about their gender.”
Irk didn't quite look like he believed her, but he shrugged and let the topic drop. “Alright, what is it then?”
“We…” Vex trailed off looking to Ho-Tan.
“We wanted to get your opinion on something,” Ho-Tan started. “We were talking with Debbie, and it put… well, your father and I, it turns out, have been sort of… thinking about something - about doing something, but we don’t want to do it without talking to you about it first.”
Alvin’s jaw dropped. “Oh my GODS!” He shrieked suddenly, clapping his hands, “are you getting MARRIED?”
Irk gasped, looking at his parents with impossibly wide eyes.
“NO!” Ho-Tan shouted, leaning forward and waving her hands to quell their excitement while Vex made chiking noises next to her. “No! No, its ah, it’s not marriage!”
“Did we really think about- about this before marraige?” Vex wheezed suddenly.
“We already had two children before we even got together,” Ho-Tan said dryly, “of course we’d thin about having another before- oh. Oh no.” She clapped a hand over her mouth, turning back to stare at the children. “Oh I was meant to ease it in.”
“You want another kid?” Alvin asked, his voice calm but quite high pitched. “Another Younger?”
“We get a brother? Or sister?” Irk asked, “it would be cool to have a sister again but they might be a bit out numbered.”
Alvin shrugged. “I never minded. Though actually, thight might have been because I wasn’t actually a girl.”
“Yeah, hard to tell with that one,” Irk frowned. He turned to Ho-Tan. “Do you feel outnumbered because you’re the only girl in the Elders?”
Ho-Tan choked, Vex gasping out syllables beside her. “That's what you’re concerned with?” She rasped. “Boys, little doves, we’re thinking about another baby. A sibling.”
“Yeah,” Irk said, staring at her like she was being weird. “And if it's a sister, will they feel bad ‘cause there’s so many boys about. You’re the only girl here.”
Ho-Tan put her head in her hands and so Vex took over, summoning his words again asbest as he could. “B- boys,” he coughed, “we just- well we wanted to see if you were okay with it. With having another sibling. We won’t do it if you two would be unhappy.
“I don’t mind!” Irk piped up.
“Me neither,” Alvin agreed. “We already have 3 siblings, what's one more?”
“This one’ll poop more though, since it’s just a baby.” Irk pointed out. “And cry. We’ll have to help, or find good hiding places.”
“If we don’t want to help we can just go over to Debbie’s and see the twins. Or ask Auntie Debbie to help. I mean, it’ll be her niece or nephew. It’s like, the rules she’ll have to help out, right?” Alvin turned to his mum to double check that, only to find her face still buried in her hands. “Mum?”
“She’s alright,” Vex hurried to reassure him. “She’s just, ah… well, let’s just say this went a lot easier than we were expecting.”
“I got a surprise aunt, a surprise uncle, and two surprise cousins last year,” Irk said, his little eyebrow raised. “At least you’re telling us about this one.”
“Yeah.” Alvin said. “And by the way, since that’s all sorted now, you guys can totally get married if you want, you don’t have to ask us.”
“Yeah we’ve kind of been waiting for it,” Irk admitted. “The baby is a nice surprise though,” he said, and patted his bewildered father on the knee.
With the boys on board, they announced their plan to the Elders.
They were thrilled, equally looking forward to a baby pattering around the chambers again - though Choop did grumble a bit about having to put the safety-fence back up around the Chambers’ pool, since he’d walked into it almost every single day when Irk had been young.
But on the whole, everyone was very excited. Even the other Youngers were ecstatic, promising to help out when they could or if their parents were busy. They also asked if they could help with the nursery which made Vex and Ho-Tan panic because they hadn’t even thought about a nursery.
“Um, you can help with buying baby things,” Ho-Tan assured them, while shooting an absolutely terrified look at Vex. Immediately after, they had a team meeting with the other Elders about setting up a nursery, as well as going over anything else they’d need to sort. Snork delivery only took two weeks after all, so if you wern’t prepared, you’d very much be caught short, and with Thanktival approaching they couldn’t really afford to delay any sending for the baby any longer.
Once that was all under way, Vex trimmed a lock of Ho-Tan’s hair and she did the same for him. As an extra assurance, Ho-Tan insisted that they include nail clippings as well to give the Snorks a choice of materials. Vex and the other Elders assured her that it wasn’t necessary but she insisted, and Vex refused to do anything but indulge her. She was awfully nervous about it all, fretting and fussing the entire process. The letter was re-written and reworded a dozen times before Vex pronounced that it was completely and utterly perfect now and that they could send it off, prying it out of Ho-Tan’s hands and into an envelope, and the letter was sent by the end of the evening by priority post - perks of being Elders - with their materials safely inside; triple wrapped and labeled four times each.
And then all they had to do was wait.
For the next two weeks, Ho-Tan was an absolute wreck; impossibly jumpy and constantly wringing her hands and twirling her hair, and her newly trimmed nails were bitten down to the quick. Everything she wrote was triple checked and re-written at least twice.
Vex, surprisingly enough, was much more sure. Both of them were the nervous type and it surprised the Elders how much of a hold he had on himself. Aside from the occasional babbling, Vex seemed perfectly confident. But they all supposed he had to be, with Ho-tan so frazzled.
“Maybe the Snork simply takes longer with two contributions,” Ho-tan whispered to him, on the twentieth night while they were in bed. She’d been watching the window for hours, unable to sleep.
He knew she was, because he’d been doing the same.
“We did rather take a risk sending two instead of one.”
He kissed her temple. “Well, you know darling, the two weeks they advertise isn’t always spot on. Alvin was late, wasn’t he?”
“That’s true…” Ho-Tan supposed. Alvin had been late, by almost four full days.
“And you remember, Irk was early.”
She did remember. He had been three days early, and small enough that it had sent vex into an absolute spiral of panic that didn’t end until he fitted into one of Alvin’s hand-me-downs almost a full month later.
They should have relaxed her, Vex’s soothing assurances, but they didn’t. Yes, Alvin had been late, but they were nearing three weeks now waiting on the newest Younger and Ho-Tan was starting to really worry.
“But it’s nearing Thanktival, and I’m terribly scared that if the baby arrives then, they could be eaten by Chompus!”
Ho-Tan’s lower lip wobbled and Vex swept her up into his arms immediately. “That won’t happen, my love.” He assured her, even though her words had put a little spike of worry in his chest. “Thanktival is two whole weeks away. The baby won’t be that late, and even if they are, the chances of them arriving on Thanktival specifically are tiny!”
Ho-Tan sniffled. “Are you sure?”
“Of course!” Vex said, “and anyway, babies don’t count as presents. Chompus wouldn’t eat the baby, even if he did start eating presents again this year.”
But another day went by with no sign of the Snork. And then another and another and another, until a further two weeks had passed and Thanktival was almost upon them once more.
The couple refused to leave the chambers, waiting for the baby. Even Debbie had canceled her yearly Christmas party, shuffling Peter and the kids over to a party held in the Elders chambers just in case the Snork arrived during. But they hadn’t
Vex, as hard as he’d tried, had lost his surety and was a bundle of nerves just like Ho-Tan, with the other Elders able to do very little to keep them calm.
“Maybe there won’t be a baby,” Ho-Tan whispered to Vex one night. “Maybe… maybe two donors confused them. We should have checked first, to see.”
“Perhaps,” Vex agreed. “But surely this can’t be the first case of two donors. I know it’s generally what we use them for, but it can’t just be a service for single parents.” He pulled Ho-Tan closer to him, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. “But if that is the case then they will respond, I’m sure of it. Perhaps they already have. Goodness knows their office communication is much worse than their baby delivery.”
As worried as she was, Ho-Tan had to concede that. “If nothing happens by Thanktival, we shall contact them. Maybe do the process again if we did something wrong?”
She said it like a question, unwilling to make that decision for them in case Vex didn’t feel the same way, but he simply held her tighter and nodded, chin pressed into her shoulder. “Yes. Yes that’s exactly what we shall do.”
Eventually, Thanktival did arrive.
Once again, Chompus had declined to devastate the town by scoffing all the presents, but Ho-Tan and Vex couldn’t bring themselves to be as happy about it this time.
They were still happy, though. The children were excited to open their presents and see what was inside their Sock-Things, and they focused their attention into the children they did have rather than the one they were waiting for. The wait was excruciating, but that was no reason to neglect their family, and it was hard to stay sad when Alvin and Irk were comparing their new cloaks, fishing for compliments and boasting. (It was even more difficult when they all had to try and figure out what on Earth - literally - Debbie had gifted them. What was a mee-crone-scope? Whatever it was, it had something vaguely to do with insects and Avlin was very pleased indeed.)
But every now and then their gazes caught on the window and their smiles slipped just slightly.
Each time, it got a little harder to hike it back up and eventually Vex needed a break. He slipped into the kitchen, searching out some tea.
The mug sat unfilled, the tea stewing quietly in the pot far past the point of bitterness as he stared blankly at the counter, far more time passing than he was capable of realising. He was so lost in his head that he was unaware of someone else entering the room until familiar arms wound around his chest from behind.
“You said it was almost impossible that the baby would come for thanktival,” Ho-Tan murmured against his back, and hooked her chin over his shoulder. “But you still hoped.”
He couldn't speak, a lump too solidly wedged in his throat. He managed a raw hum, nodding.
Behind him, Ho-tan siffed. “I did too,” she confessed. “Silly of me, but I did.”
Vex turned to her then and Ho-Tan gathered him into her arms before he could move to do so for her.
“We do as we said,” she reminded him. “We have today, with our family and our children, and then tomorrow we write to them and see what the hell is going on.”
Despite the tears threatening to spill over, Vex couldn't help but laugh. If anybody could write a letter of discontent, it would be his darling Ho-Tan. She would bury them in parchment, all of it perfectly polite and utterly vicious, like the words were made of knives rather than simple ink. She would cut them to ribbons.
He did not envy the Snorks one bit.
“They’re going to rue they day they messed with you,” he told her, his fondness for her warming them both right through, chasing out the aching cold that came with worry.
“I should bloody well hope,” she agreed, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.
Really, it was ever so hard to be sad when he was kissing her, even about this. So he happily wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her so he could hear that scandalized giggle she made whenever he did.
He was turning to put her on the counter and try and convince her that stewed tea-leaves counted as Yonderlandian mistle-toes when suddenly everybody in the other room started screaming.
“MUM! MUM!“
“DAD!”
“GUYS! YOU NEED TO GET IN HERE NOW!”
Hearing their children call for them they didn’t hesitate, spilling tea all over the place as they scrambled out of eachothers arms and back into the common room, hearts pounding.
“What is it?” Ho-Tan cried as she shoved Vex bodily out of the way to be first into the room, “what’s wrong, what’s happening?” She raised a spatula that Vex didn't realise she’d grabbed at some point, ready to attack whatever was making her kids scream.
But Irk and Alvin seemed fine, as did the other Youngers. They were all stood with eyes like dinner plates, pointing towards the window.
Ho-Tan dropped the spatula, her hands flying to her mouth. “Oh Gods.”
Something huge and feathered was sat in the window, its claws digging into the masonry where it perched on the sill. It’s neck looped around twice, beaked head peering into the room with a small amount of fear - which Vex assumed was both due to the spatula, and the fact that Choop was wielding a book the size of Irk and had yet to let it go.
The Snork.
“Um, as I said…” It spoke, cautiously, with one eye on Choop. “I have a delivery for a Wise-Elder Vex and Scribe Elder Ho-Tan.”
Vex’s eyes dropped lower.
In the creature's wings, held tight within its hands, was a lump of forest green blanket.
Ho-Tan let out a shriek and rushed forward, snatching the bundle out of the Snork’s arms. Vex felt out of time, like he’d fallen into a bog and was trying to swim though something almost solid. But then Pressley reached over and slapped him on the shoulder, and he was propelled back up to speed.
“Oh,” he warbled, and rushed over to Ho-Tan, who was in tears, the Youngers clustered around her. They made a path for him and he slipped through, vision blurry with tears of his own as he watched her pull back the blankets to reveal a baby.
Their baby.
“And what time do you call this?” Flowers hissed at the Snork, while Vex and Ho-Tan sobbed over the bundle of baby in the corner. “Those two have been waiting almost a month for their child!”
“Sorry” the Snork complained, not very contrite, “but do you have any idea how busy we are during this time of year? Everyone wants a baby for Thanktival.”
“They aren’t presents,” Flowers snorted, unimpressed. “They’re children.”
The Smork shrugged.
“Can you at least let people know, next time, if a baby’s going to be late, or take longer than you advertise?” Flowers asked, a rare tone of anger breaking through his usual placidness. “Those two have been going spare waiting, thinking they did something wrong like send too many samples, or screw up the address!”
The Snork paused. “Wait, were they the couple that sent like, four samples all triple-wrapped and labeled?”
“Yes.”
The Snork looked delighted. “Buy them a drink on me then, when the little tyke’s grown up enough they can escape to the pub for a night. Rarely see organisation like that, made it much easier for us. Did take a little bit to sort through to find the best samples, but hey, no duds! Didn’t have to ask for a re-take, or get who was who mixed up. Good on ‘em.”
“Excellent!” Flowers said, as Pressley said, “Bugger off,” walking over and slamming the window in the Snork’s face.
“Hey, I wanted to do that,” Flowers whined, ignoring the muffled shriek from outside.
Pressley only smirked. “Sorry, but with you over here yapping you’re misising the baby.”
A brilliant smile lit up Flowers’s face, all thoughts of the Snork forgotten. “The baby.”
“Come on,” Pressley said, linking his arms through Flowers’ and leading him over to join the flock around Ho-Tan and Vex.
“They’re so tiny,” Ho-tan was saying. “I forgot how small babies could be.”
“Are they smaller than I was?” Irk asked, eager to not be the tiny one anymore.
“Not even close,” Choop told him. The book had been abandoned at some point, his hands now free to hold Irk up so that he could see the baby, since he was a bittoo short to see. “Though this little one is quite small.”
Irk deflated with a sigh. “Ugh fine.” He accepted a conciliatory pat from Alvin with grace.
Pressley scooped up Barry and lifted him too. “There you go son. Look at that, eh? Ain’t they sweet.”
Vex made a garbled noise of agreement, struggling to form coherent words.
He felt it was understandable. Becoming a father again made him feel like he was floating, and like he’d been punched in the stomach all at once, a euphoric mix.
Wrapped in its soft blanket, the baby gazed up at them. They probably had no idea who they were, but Vex liked to think that somehow, they recognised him and Ho-tan as their parents. They certainly looked the part.
He hadn’t considered what two material donations would do, in the physical sense, but the baby seemed a perfect mix of himself and Ho-Tan. Her hair, his eyes. Ho-Tan’s nose but his lips.
There was already a tiny smattering of hair, all fluffed up, the same shade of ginger as Alvin’s, but settling into curls so similar to Vex’s own.
Even their little eyelashes were ginger, framing huge eyes that were an impossibly deep blue, even deeper than the usual baby-blue every child had when they were born.
It was a shade that Ho-Tan would know anywhere.
“They’ve got your eyes,” Ho-Tan murmured, welling up again. She sniffed, sort of wishing she had a hand free to wipe at them, but completely unwilling to let go of the baby for even a second to do so.
Vex’s lip wobbled, and he reached out to stroke the tip of his finger down the baby’s nose. “They do,” he said reverently, looking into the blue-black.
“Perfect,” Ho-Tan said, voicing his thoughts superbly, as if she could hear his brain repeating it over and over again. “Absolutely perfect.”
Vex made one of his noises, and they all knew it was an agreement.
“Very cute,” Alvin agreed.
“We are gonna be such cool big brothers,” Irk vowed.
“You are,” Vex agreed, grinning at the baby.
Catching his eye, she smiled and passed the baby carefully to him. “You’re Aunty Deb-Beh is going to be very mad at me,” he told them, “I said you definitely weren't going to arrive today, so she stayed at home.”
Flowers beamed. “She’s going to murder you,” he said, but in a deceptively sweet voice.
“Yep!” Vex agreed. But he was sure any animosity would be forgotten once she clapped eyes on… on… uh.
Vex went white suddenly, looking to Ho-Tan. “…Oh Gods.”
“What?” The other Elders crowded in close, panicking. “What, what?”
“What's wrong?” Flowers immediately looked the baby over, concerned.
“What's happened?” Pressley demanded, moving himself and Barry back so that they and the baby had some space.
“We’re idiots,” Vex wailed. “We’ve been talking about this for months - months! - and waiting almost as long for them to arrive, and we didn't once talk about what to name them!”
Ho-Tan’s eyes went wide, and she looked down at the baby in her arms. “Oh.” She said. “…shit.”
“Mum!” Alvin gasped.
“Well I'm sorry but a name is kind of important!” Ho-Tan said. “I thought about yours for weeks!”
“And then I changed it,” Alvin said, frowning.
Ho-Tan’s face crumpled. “Oh no, no, darling you know I-”
Alvin hurried closer to her, squishing himself into her side. “No, mum, I didn't mean it like that. I know you’re fine with it. If anything, my name is now closer to your name which is what you were after in the first place, right?” He said. “What I meant was, you don't have to freak out about it. You just pick something you like. It doesn't have to be important. They might be like you, or me, or Irk, or dad and change it later anyway.”
“We do have sort of a family tradition for changing our names.” Vex agreed.
“That's true,” Ho-Tan mused, smiling. “Still though. With all this time to prepare we should have thought of something.”
“Preparation isn't everything, you know,” Vex put in, the tips of his ears turning a vivid pink, and Ho-Tan laughed.
“Just because you panicked and named Irk the second you got him into your arms.”
“Wasn’t even a real name,” Pressley added. “Just syllables.”
“I was emotional,” Vex snapped. “I’d just had a son!”
Irk reached up a hand and patted his dad on the arm. “It’s okay, dad. They were good syllables.”
Vex winced. “No son they really, really weren't.”
Irk grimaced. “Yeah, I know. But I kept them as my middle name!”
“Crazy kid,” Pressley said and Flowers elbowed him.
“And that was very sweet of you.” Vex told Irk, ignoring Pressley.
“We need something,” Alvin insisted. “We can't just keep calling them ‘the baby’.”
Choop shrugged. “It worked on Gavin and Stacey.”
As one, the Elders rolled their eyes. “We should never have let you watch television at Debbie’s.”
“We were stuck there for months! What was I supposed to do!”
“Everybody, shush!” Ho-Tan said. “We need a name. Darling? Any suggestions?”
Helplessly, Vex shrugged. “No idea.”
“That's a nice name!” Irk said, and everybody looked at him.
“…What is?” Vex asked him, confused.
“Noah Deer.” Irk said, confused why everybody was looking at him like that. “Why are you all looking at me like that? I think it's nice.”
Ho-Tan grinned. “It is nice,” she said. “Noah. Perhaps not the deer part though.”
“Noah,” Vex said, testing the name in his mouth. “I like it!”
“And it's funny,” Alvin piped up, “‘cause you had noah-dea what to name the baby!”
“It would make a good story for when they’re older.” Flowers pointed out.
“Noah.” Ho-Tan said again, echoed by Vex. “Noah.” She grinned, and it was mirrored by him.
“I think we have a winner,” Pressley said, giving Irk a pat on the back. “Nice work kid.”
“I can't believe you got to name the baby!” Barry whispered to him, impressed.
“Uh, thanks?” Irk hadn’t named the baby, his dad had. But he was happy enough to take credit if people were so silly that they couldn't recognise that.
“Noah,” Ho-Tan said again, softly. She reached to push a fluffy ginger curl out of the baby’s eyes. Vex slid a hand around her waist, his other hand on Irk’s shoulder, and kissed her on the temple.
“Happy Thanktival, Noah.” Irk said, peering up at his new sibling.
“Yeah, I think you were our best present,” Alvin agreed.
Over their children's heads, Ho-Tan and Vex caught each other's eye and beamed. They were very much in agreement.