Chapter Text
Haunted by what had recently transpired, Mac was drowning his sorrows in whiskey.
Her favorite drink.
Pacing through his living room glass in one hand and running his fingers through his hair with the other. ”How could this have happened? I….I had her in my arms; I should’ve held on tighter.” He thought to himself before he threw his glass; shattering over his kitchen sink.
Hearing the crash from the other room Bozer came in to check on Mac.
“Hey man.” Words barely escaping his lips. “This isn’t the way to handle what happened.” Mac turned to face him and that’s when he saw something he never witnessed before, mac, eyes glazed over, red and empty. Mac had gone through so many tragedies in his life and Bozer had been there for every one of them but this one was different.
“Yeah, and what do you know about it! Bozer huh?!” Mac yelled in a drunken stupor.
“I loved her too, Mac. But this can’t be good”
“YOU! may have loved her but not how I LOVED” his voice fell “Love her… and I never got the chance to tell her. I never got to tell her how she was the light in the midst of all the darkness we face. I never got to tell her how her laugh was my favorite sound and how her smile made me weak in the knees and how I craved her attention and how..how” a flash of Riley slipping out of his hand down into the dark hole created by a bomb Mac thought he could stop from detonating. He drew a sharp breath. “Boze it was my fault” his voice trailing off filled with pain. “I lost her.”
“No Mac it wasn’t.”
“Yes it was, she slipped right through my fingertips. It was my fault I couldn’t deactivate the bomb right. IT'S ALL MY FAULT.” Hot tears streamed down his face as his body collapsed to the floor and all Bozer could muster up was to watch his best friends completely fall apart. “You know we sat here that night after you thought the Krengel’s were in trouble. We sat right here and in that moment I knew she was the one thing I couldn’t lose. You know that moment right before you kiss someone there’s this lingering silence and everything disappears? We were in that moment and neither of us said anything. WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANYTHING!” Mac stood up so fast he almost collapsed again. “I’m gonna go for a walk, I can't stay in here…” he stumbled as he made his way to the front door.
Bozer knew there wasn’t really a way to stop him from going. “A little fresh air couldn’t hurt him right?” he thought to himself.
Mac stumbles through the streets of LA, his feet leading him to Riley’s door.
He began knocking on Rileys door as if she would swing the door open and everything he's been through would all just be a dream.. No, a nightmare. He knocked and knocked and knocked until his knuckles began to hurt. The weight of his pain left his knuckles and filled his body. He collapsed on her doorstep. “Riley! Riley! I'm so sorry. I thought I could handle it all. I thought I could save us both. I'm so sorry. Riley, I need you… I need you more than I thought I did. How could I have let one thing…” his lips locked like they were trying to hold in a dark secret while searching for the right words to say next. “Riles, I don't know why it's taken for me to lose you to finally admit to myself that everything I've been feeling since we first met wasn't just a nothing I could bury with every other complicated emotion I've ever had.” he paused again. “I love you. I have always loved you and I will forever be…IN LOVE WITH YOU. You are a..you were a constant for me. Many things change doing the work that we do and without a doubt I knew you’d be right beside me. You were the only one to ALWAYS put your trust in me. You never doubted my abilities even when I did. What am I going to do without you Riles. How am I supposed to keep living?
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48 hours earlier
Riley didn't agree with this plan.
“We have to tell Mac.” she yelled at matty
“No, Riley, no one can know, not even him. You're going under deep cover the only people who can know you're alive are me and me. You'll be indoctrinated in a highly dangerous league of hackers who are just as good if not better than artimus37. You have to leave everything behind in order for us to take them down. These people are responsible for 90% of all electronic warfare. It's only known to a few high level clearance agents throughout branches of the government but these people are breaking through many countries' mainframes and stealing top secrets for leverage and somehow obtaining launch codes and other things that could cause war or literally make the world stop.”
“Matty, I know I just think this is a little extreme. Can’t I just tell him I'm going undercover.”
“You saw how Jack's mission affected him.”
“That's exactly why we should tell him so he can at least know I'm not actually…. dead.”
“I don't think either option is going to sit well with him… but this way he doesn't have to wonder about you, or if you're safe, or when you're coming home.”
“This doesn't feel right matty. Like at all.”
“I know riley. But it just has to be done.”
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Gathering the last bit of things she would need for her undercover opp; because 48 hours isn't nearly enough time to get everything one needs to completely leave behind everything they know and love.
That's when the pounding on her front door started. Anyone who knew her thought she was “dead” so who could be knocking on her door at this time of night? Thats when she heard his voice calling her name. Her heart dropped. She made her way to the door keeping her hand steady on the doorknob. Using all her willpower to not open the door. She could hear the pain in his voice. All she wanted to do was embrace him and let him know she was ok. Listening to his confession created a pit in her stomach. A cocktail of emotions flooded her system. happiness cause she never thought he could feel this way about her. Guilt for making him believe she was gone from this world and could never return. Sadness... she had to leave him behind.
Doing this opp just became a little harder for her but now she had a new reason to make sure it was over as quickly as possible.