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Piggy stomped onto the hard rock, the heat from the sun making it feel as if he was stepping on pure magma. Ralph was sitting on the edge, his feet dangling above the water while hunched over casting a shadow upon his thin tan legs.
The bigger boy sat down next to him. He took his time to study Ralph and his appearance.
His hair lacked its pure innocent nature from when they first met. It used to have a beautiful blond look to it that made his whole face shine like the sun, but now all that remained was a dirt covered mess. It was longer too, a lot longer. There were bits of sticks and leaves stuck in mats, Piggy’s hands ached to comb through it.
He looked at his face- or he looked at what he could see of his face. His cheeks were riddled with scraps and bruises, dirt and soot smudged all around, his eyes once a brilliant blue now a smoky dull gray.
He's definitely changed, they all have, but Piggy couldn't help thinking he looked just as charming as the day he met him.
Said boy turned to him then, startling him.
“What?" The boy's voice was harsh to the ears, ruff from months of shouting for the attention of the other boys.
“Uh- um- oh nothing I just saw you sitting here alone and you looked rather-” He risked another glance, quickly looking back at the water when the boy faced him back.
“... Sad.” There was a pregnant pause. He thought maybe Ralph wouldn't follow up with anything, but to his surprise, he did.
“Do you think we'll actually get off this island?" Now it was Piggy's turn to be confused.
“Of course we will?” The question had come as a surprise to him. Of course they would, Ralph hadn't doubted that yet, why now?
“But how are you so sure we will?" Before the bigger boy could follow up with anything, he spoke again.
“I mean nobody else seems to want to get rescued. The only people that do are you, me, Samneric, and…” He trailed off. He didn't want to finish, and he didn't have to.
“Well yeah but, what's the point in doing something when only everyone else wants to do it?" Ralph looked over to him. His brilliant blue eyes came back just to sparkle at Piggy's words, or so it seemed.
“I-I mean- if people just did whatever everyone else was doing then we'd be bloody murderers just like the others.” The taller one looked away. The band aid did little to help the wound heal, he could still feel the ache.
“We are murderers, Piggy.” He looked back at him yet again, with a fierce glare, one that spoke of doubt and frustration but little anger.
“I- I don't…” To Piggy's amazement, he kept eye contact. He was surprised to see no anger at all, just desperation. Piggy let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.
“I know. “ Ralph faltered.
“Yeah…" He didn't know, or at least he was trying to know. It… It wasn't their fault Simon came out of nowhere in a frantic hurry… They couldn't have known…
“I just-” He swallowed.
“It just feels like we won't make it off this island, like maybe my daddy won't actually come for us.” Everyone knew Ralph's dad wasn't coming for them, and maybe deep down so did Ralph, but he had never actually admitted it out loud.
“Well, maybe he will?” It was a lie, they both knew better.
“Yeah.” Ralph pushed out a ruff laugh, and Piggy felt his face heat up. Perhaps he was falling ill, it was a miracle none of them had gotten sick yet. Well, not physically.
“Maybe Eric was right, maybe all this fire stuff is pointless.”
“No! Ralph! Don't speak like that.” Piggy looked at the other boy, surprised to have heard something so foolish come from a man he had only ever associated with intelligence.
“Why not? Why not Piggy?” He straightened his pasture, glaring daggers at the bigger kid.
“Cuz’ from what we’ve seen so far- there really isn't a chance of all of us making it out of here alive.” He slumped back down.
Piggy was in shock. From the months they've been stuck here he hasn't once heard Ralph talk like this.
“Hey no, I believe there's a chance. If our plane crashed here then that must mean this area is in their flight pattern, right? Another plane will come soon, or ship or-” He cut himself off.
Did he even believe the things he was saying? He must, everything has a solution and a predicted outcome. Everything has an outcome. For some reason this thought didn't serve to calm his mind.
“... Yeah?" He sounded hopeful, yet just as unconvinced.
“Yeah… Yeah.” Piggy replied sadly.
They sat in silence for a while, taking in the sight of the waters and the things swirling around their feet.
The bigger kid sat there twirling his thumb over the other, debating if he should start up another conversation or not. Before long Ralph had made that decision for him.
“I'm sorry about your glasses by the way” Piggy jumped.
“You… You are?" He asked in a confused tone. It wasn't often people apologized to him, especially not the other boys. He couldn't help the feeling that came over him then, a tingly, yet pleasant, one.
“Of course. It's not your fault Jacks a huge arsehole.” They both giggled at the choice of words.
“Well, yeah I suppose you're right.” He giggled again, alone this time. Once he realized he shut himself up quickly.
“Sorry." He whispered.
“What are you saying sorry for?"
“I… I don't know." Ralph was staring so intently at him that Piggy could only look for a few moments before averting his gaze, but even then he could feel the other boy's eyes on him, glaring holes into his neck.
“Ya know Piggy, sometimes I think we're the only sane ones in this place.” He chuckled, a soft breathy laugh that made all the tension leave Piggy's body. He felt the same way.
“Yeah. Sorry you don't have someone a bit cooler to be your deserted island friend.” He meant it as a joke, but it only made the other boy stare at him with those fierce eyes yet again.
“I think you're cool." Piggy pushed out a laugh, rolling his eyes.
“Sure.”
“No really!” He scooted close to the bigger boy, he felt his face grow warm.
“R-Ralph please don't say such silly things!”
“I mean it!" His voice grew just a little bit louder.
“You do?”
“Yes!" Piggy knew he was falling into a trap, but he couldn't force himself not to give in just a little bit.
“W-why?” The other boy looked at him as if he had just said the most absurd statement in the world.
“Why? Well, cuz you're cool!” he said with a shout as he threw his arms up.
“You're the only one here who has any goddamn sense! You listen to me and respect me and-” He cut himself off, seeming to have just realized what he was saying.
“Y-you’re just-” He looked away, face heating up.
“Cool."
Piggy was too stunned to speak. How could someone like Ralph think that he was cool?
He was starting to feel queasy, which was happening more and more often when he was near the other, and the clearly embarrassed face staring back at him did nothing to calm that feeling. He cleared his throat.
“Wh- well I- it's nice of you to say that…” He mentally screamed at himself for all the stuttering and the overall wobbly tone.
“You're just so…” Ralph was staring down at him yet again, passion and embarrassment seemingly seeping out of the look he was giving the shorter boy.
“Nice.” Suddenly, yet timidly, he stretched his arm out to Piggy, his palm facing up. It paused there for a moment before moving again and placing itself onto the top of the other boy's hand.
As their skin touched, Piggy felt the waves crash in the back of his mind. He couldn't decide if this was a good or bad thing. He didn't know whether he should stay put and continue engaging in the small intimate moment or yank his hand away and run quickly to tell the others. What would he even say? Ralph hadn't done anything wrong, and if he had no one would care, so why did it feel so wrong?
Yet, despite all the words and plans circling around his mind, he couldn't seem to think of one single good reason to split up their hands.
So, against his better judgment, he didn't move.
He relaxed a little bit, listening to the sweet melody of the sea before them and feeling the warm touch of the boy next to him. Perhaps
they didn't need a fire, the heat between them seemed to be hotter and brighter than anything the rest of the boys could achieve. And Piggy felt it. He felt the heat, burning him from the inside out. It was burning and scary, though not in a bad way.
It felt like sitting next to the fireplace late at night, the sounds of auntie’s soft beautiful voice ringing through his ears as her hands combed his hair. The dancing flames make him feel warm, warmer than anything, yet he dare not pull away.
These moments never lasted long enough it seemed, so he slowly twisted his hand around so their palms could meet.
The fire burned impossibly bright, and they both found themselves wishing to be consumed in the harsh twists and turns of its heat.
They knew it was bad, but when separated from the real world, the rules just didn't apply the same weight.
Piggy looked into Ralph's eyes and smiled; the other smiled back. The fire flickered.
“Nice.” Piggy repeated, and felt himself truly begin to let go, putting himself Into the arms of the other.