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The thing about Reigen Arataka was he was good with people. He was so good with people, in fact, that he was often able to figure out their deal before they even knew they had one. It made him a great businessman and his own worst enemy. Because the thing about understanding people --emotions and motives and all that-- was that he also understood himself in the most painfully intimate fashion possible. It was why he’d been able to reach Mob, even in his most emotionally fragile state. He’d pulled back the curtain on how much of a fraud he was, he’d told Mob about the parts of himself he wasn’t fond of, and it had helped the kid and strengthened their relationship.
Only now, he was all the more aware of everything he hadn’t said to the kid that day.
Reigen was trying to be a more honest person-- at least with the people he was close to, anyway. To his clients, he was still the greatest psychic of the 21st century, but to Mob and Ritsu and Teru and Serizawa (hell, even Dimple), he was working on not being a piece of garbage. Some days it was really hard. Lying was a knee-jerk reaction for him, a barrier between his true self and the persona everyone knew him as. And of all the people he lied to, he lied to himself the most.
Days like today, however, his dishonest side had a hard time surfacing. Shock had a way of doing that to a person.
It started out as nothing, just any other normal day. Serizawa had gone on a salt run for him because he had a headache, so it was just Reigen and Mob at the office. Things had been pretty slow client-wise, and Reigen had suggested taking a break for ramen (and painkillers). Mob had readily agreed, because he’d forgotten breakfast and was pretty hungry, and Reigen had to resist the urge to scold him for missing the most important meal of the day.
In all honesty, he’d just been glad to return to a semblance of normalcy.
The city had only recently finished recovering from Mob’s emotional breakdown, and Mob himself was still working on forgiving himself for the destruction and lives lost. No matter how many times Ritsu or Reigen explained to the kid that he couldn’t be blamed for what his powers did after being bottled up for so long, Mob didn’t hear them. But he wasn’t actively punishing himself by refusing fun or kindness from people anymore, so Reigen considered that a win. Especially because the kid was also working on opening up emotionally-- he was pretty sure he’d seen more tears and laughter from Mob in the last couple weeks than he had in all the years of knowing him.
Emotions were still hard for Reigen, however, which was why he about shit himself when he finished locking up the office and turned to see Mob missing a step on the stairs and falling down the flight.
“Shige!”
The painful thud he expected to hear never came, however, because the blue-pink aura of Mob’s powers surrounded the kid and he landed gently at the bottom of the stairs. Reigen released a sigh of relief. If there was even one thing he had to be grateful for since the Incident™ it was that Mob seemed way more at ease using his powers for mundane things like keeping himself from eating shit.
“Jeez, kid, you ever gonna stop trying to give me a heart attack?”
“I’m fine,” he said while dusting his pants off. Reigen rolled his eyes and joined him at the bottom of the stairs, opting for the more scenic walking route, though.
“Maybe so, but still. Be careful, yeah?”
The kid snorted and Reigen got to be surprised by the sound for half a second before Mob spoke and sent him spiraling.
“I mean, after you get hit by a car, falling down the stairs isn’t that scary.”
“Yeah I gue-- I’m sorry what?” Reigen stopped walking and put a hand on Mob’s shoulder to keep him from continuing outside.
Mob looked up at him with confusion etched on his face like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb in the middle of the stairwell. Reigen, however, was still trying to process the casual manner in which the kid informed him he’d been hit by a fucking car at some point and he’d had no idea.
“Oh yeah,” Mob was saying, “Back when I’d been going to confess to Tsubomi. This kid was crossing the street and would’ve been run over so I pushed him out of the way and… well. Yeah. That’s what brought Shigeo out and I--”
“You what??”
Reigen liked to think he was good at handling shocking information, after all, he’d been running a psychic business without being a psychic for years, he was more than familiar with crazy stories. But there were crazy stories and there were terrifying realizations. This information definitely fell into the latter category. And Mob was just talking about it like it was yesterday’s school gossip. Like an ‘oh yeah, by the way’ kind of thing.
“Well, I wasn’t really thinking about getting hit, but I’ve survived and healed from way worse things, so--”
“So you threw yourself in front of a high speed vehicle?!” Reigen was glad nobody else was around to hear the way his voice broke at its current octave. To his credit, Mob had the presence of mind to bite his lip and look at the floor.
“I had to. Someone could’ve gotten hurt otherwise and--”
“You got hurt, Mob!”
Illogical as it was, seeing as the incident in question had occurred two months prior, Reigen still found himself grabbing the sides of Mob’s head and twisting him every which way to check for scarring or any other signs of trauma. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He and Mob were so alike sometimes, and Reigen hated it during moments like these. How could the kid downplay something so traumatic?
What was worse still was the fact that he’d never thought to ask him if his breakdown had been caused by something other than emotional turmoil. He hadn’t even considered the Incident™ was caused by external stressors. Getting hit by a car seemed like a pretty fucking significant stressor, though.
“Why are you so upset?” Mob ducked out from between his hands and Reigen let loose a strangled sound even as the kid shook his head. “I’m fine now.”
“But you weren’t! And you literally destroyed the city because your defense mechanism went on overdrive-- which, like, I’m not blaming you for. We’ve been over this, I don’t blame you for experiencing the same feelings everyone on the planet does, but this is--”
“I don’t see the issue?”
Why did he have to be such a teenager?
Reigen didn’t know if he was missing the point on purpose because the conversation was uncomfortable, but he wasn’t about to let Mob act like this wasn’t a big deal. Because it was a big deal. It was a really big fucking deal. He’d been hurt and Reigen… he hadn’t known. Why hadn’t he known? Had Mob not felt safe telling him because he didn’t trust him after everything? Had he been mad at him for not being there?
Reigen knew it was illogical to feel guilty for not being there when Mob had been hurt, seeing as he’d known the kid was heading to the park to talk to Tsubomi and had no reason to suspect something bad had happened… and yet that didn’t stop him from feeling a weight in his gut and hearing a voice in his head screaming at him for being so negligent.
“The issue is that you almost died, Mob!” He was gesturing wildly at that point, trying to make Mob understand his position. “You almost died while I was just fucking around and I had no idea!”
Mob’s response was to shrug and Reigen felt his eye twitch. “It turned out alright, though. So it’s fine.”
“No it’s not?!”
Maybe he was overreacting. He probably was, but his emotions were running at 100% and he couldn’t catch up to them in time to tell himself to calm down.
Mob frowned. “Why are you acting like this? It’s not like I died. I’m fine now, and the city is okay, and--”
“Because I didn’t realize how close I was to losing you for real!”
Reigen tasted copper from biting his tongue so hard. Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it? It wasn’t shock over hearing about the accident or guilt for not being there, but fear. He was just not finding out that Mob could’ve died while he’d been hanging out at the office thinking things were dandy. He could’ve lost the one person in the world that made him want to be a good person, who made him feel like he was more than some asshole conman, and he hadn’t even realized it. It was a terrifying thought, one that made his heart rate pick up to the point of hammering a bruising pattern into his ribcage.
And Mob didn’t seem to understand what he was getting at, because his frown deepened to one of great confusion. “But you didn’t lose me. Master, I don’t understand what the big deal--”
“Because I care about you! And I never actually told you… even after everything, how much I love-- and… and I don’t know what I would’ve done if--” He cut himself off because his throat began to constrict despite his best efforts to not get more emotional. He’d already cried in front of the kid once this year and he didn’t want to start again. He was an adult, and adults weren’t supposed to get emotional like that because it freaked kids out. It reminded kids that those people they looked up to were just as broken as anybody else.
Plus, Reigen just hated being so painfully honest with himself. He was fine being honest with Mob, because after everything he’d put the kid through, it was only fair he knew what his master felt, but there were limits to Reigen’s comfort level even in that scenario.
Ever the battering ram to his emotional constipation, Mob knocked past his wafer-thin defenses with the simple action of stepping into Reigen’s space and wrapping his little arms around his waist.
“It’s okay, master. I’m okay. Really.”
Even as he said it with a steady voice, Reigen could feel the tiny tremor running through the kid as he rested his head against his chest. Meanwhile, the dam Reigen had been panic-building broke before it could become structurally sound, and his vision blurred when he returned the embrace.
It was funny to think about how little he’d hugged Mob during their time together. If he took the time to think about why that was, Reigen knew he would come to the conclusion that he’d held the kid at arm’s length to avoid the pain of losing him when he found out about all the lies he’d been fed. But… Well, Mob knew about all that, now, and it hadn’t changed anything like Reigen had feared for so long. And Mob wasn’t afraid of feeling his feelings anymore, even if Reigen was, and that meant casual touches were common-place in the office now. Hugging was still a rarity, though, and Reigen couldn’t figure out why the hell that was. Because burying his nose into Mob’s hair, ignoring the way the smaller strands tickled his nose, smelling his cucumber shampoo and just feeling him standing there solid against his chest… hell, it was the most comforting thing he’d experienced in a long while.
He didn’t even realize he’d started crying until Mob’s arms tightened around him and his soft voice rang out painfully loud amidst Reigen’s sniffles. “You didn’t lose me. And you won’t lose me. I’m okay, I promise.”
“Shut up.” Reigen’s breath rattled and he smoothed the hair on the back of Mob’s head. “I know, okay? Just… just stop talking for a second, kiddo.”
He hated crying, he really did. Not only was it such an ugly sight, but he felt pathetic when he did it. Others could shed tears and he would be the first in line to offer comfort, but when he did it, it just felt wrong. He was a passionate person, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed it some days-- this was no exception. He felt bad for making Mob feel bad about getting hurt, but he was also grateful that the kid finally seemed to understand where his distress was coming from.
He knew Mob couldn’t be taken out by something like a car accident, but that didn’t stop his brain from going into overdrive with worry at the thought of his little buddy bleeding out on the road-- and oh boy was that a mental image that would haunt him for the next couple of months. Reigen shuddered, the motion jolting Mob, who sighed against his shirt.
“I just wanted to save someone.”
The admission was so soft he could’ve easily missed it, but Reigen was paying close attention to Mob and Mob only in the moment. His chest tightened, because he understood where he was coming from completely. Mob was the most selfless person he’d ever met. With every similarity Reigen saw between himself and the boy, he saw just as many differences-- in all the ways he was a piece of shit, Mob was a shining beacon, someone to aspire to be. He made Reigen want to be a better person. If anyone in the world could be called a hero, it was Mob, so of course saving someone had been the only factor in his choice. And even with the terrifying mental image of the kid being hurt, Reigen couldn’t help but feel proud, too.
With a final sniffle, he put his hands on Mob’s shoulders and gently broke the embrace. “I know. You’re a good kid, that’s why you didn’t think about it. It’s a great quality of yours-- I’m jealous, seriously. You’re the best person I know.”
“Really?” Mob wiped his eyes with the back of his head and Reigen laughed softly before just nodding.
“Thanks, mas-- Reigen.” Mob went in for another quick hug that Reigen wasn’t fast enough to return. Mostly because he was reeling from the fact that Mob followed the motion up with a quick, “And I love you, too.”
Mob stepped past him then to reach for the door outside. The cool air was a relief against his hot face, but Reigen barely registered it because he was sucking up another round of tears, scrubbing his eyes and nodding to let the kid know he’d heard him.
He tried to not seem overly cautious when they stepped outside and crossed the street, but his hand planted itself firmly on Mob’s shoulder and the kid said nothing. If anything, some tension seemed to drain from his back. Reigen took that as a positive thing and as they continued to their usual noodle shop, he felt like something had once again shifted in their relationship.
Yeah, he wasn’t a huge fan of overflowing emotions when they pertained to himself, but if being honest about them meant having more moments like this with Mob, Reigen supposed he could brave the waters of truth more ofte