Work Text:
-☆-
the teacher-in-charge for the book club droned on, bragging about the prestige of their club (which was– none at all. it was a skill to be able to exaggerate things so much, really). kim dokja stared into space, wondering what yoo joonghyuk was doing– usually, the other book club members would get straight to work reading new books or help the librarian sort the heaps and piles of books in the school library, allowing kim dokja to have some bonding time with his joonghyuk-ie (and slack off, without anyone else knowing). with his head in the clouds, kim dokja daydreamt, detaching himself from reality. he dreamt of yoo joonghyuk who had finally competed his long journey as a regressor, cooking fried chicken for his companions by the han river on a cold winter afternoon. he dreamt of what he would do if he was granted an opportunity to accompany yoo joonghyuk along his journey, and how he could help yoo joonghyuk to complete scenarios with his knowledge.
as the new transfer student– han sooyoung– started to give her speech, kim dokja slowly blinked out of his daze. he really wished that she could end her speech quickly, so that he could talk to yoo joonghyuk and reread the latest chapter of ways of survival. in the 10 minutes in which he had met her for the first time, he did not have a positive impression of her.
“kim dokja, would you mind helping han sooyoung for the week to help her get used to the flow of things?” the teacher-in-charge said. kim dokja groaned inwardly, putting on his best customer service smile to accept the teacher’s offer.
soon after, everyone streamed out of the clubroom to do their various tasks. with the monotony of a robot, kim dokja went through all the tasks that they had to do– how to sort the books, how to take books out from the book drop, etcetera. kim dokja finished explaining in a record-breaking 10 minutes! not that he ever showed anyone else how to do things and had a comparison, but still. with a final, untruthful “tell me if you need any help!”, kim dokja scuttled off. if possible, he would like han sooyoung to stay five metres away from him at all times– her personality was just so chuuni-like. if she asked him for help, he would pass the responsibility to another book club member, and never deal with her again.
making a beeline to a deserted area of the library, he left han sooyoung to her own devices. he had other things to do– like heading to the english literature section of the library (no one really bothered to read books in english, much less analyse and appreciate the literature and writing, so there was no need for anyone to bring the books from the book return back to these shelves– leaving kim dokja to reread the latest chapter. not even five minutes later, he was interrupted by the slightly-more-familiar voice of a very annoying junior.
“you read ways of survival?”
“hundred steps godly fists!!!” kim dokja yelped, the words that he last read on his screen thrown haphazardly at the junior in front of him.(at a volume too loud to be in a library). making han sooyoung wince and take a step back, looking equal parts confused and shocked.
did i really just say ‘hundred steps godly fists’ out loud? kim dokja was about to die of embarrassment. the silence was deafening, the air heavy with the sheer awkwardness of the situation. a single drop of cold sweat trickled down his forehead, rolling down his cheek similar to how a tear would. man, he was such a loner.
kim dokja contemplated running away. he really should have left the moment he spoke those chunni-like words. however, kim dokja was someone who made astoundingly awful decisions. with his short attention span, his train of thought was flung off its rails.
kim dokja felt more disappointed more than everything. was he stripped of his title as the one and only reader and expert of ways of survival?
deep in thought, he completely forgot about the elephant in the room despite its eccentric bob of hair. could elephants grow hair on their heads? at one point in time, maybe they could– before the elephants developed structural adaptations have a higher chance of surviving in africa roughly 1.5 million years ago, they might have sported long hair. there was a chance that they used their long, glorious, l’oréal paris-advertisement-worthy hair as a part of their mating ritual. perhaps– the elephant with the most elaborate hairstyle would get their virginity taken (or take someone’s virginity), for instance.
at that moment, something clicked in kim dokja’s head. was she one of those low-lifes who had nothing to do but complain that ways of survival was plagiarised when it was definitely not? was she one of those scoundrels that didn’t even bother to check the day that ‘SSSSS-grade infinite regressor’ came out in comparison to ways of survival? ways of survival had come out one day earlier, if she had bothered to check. on the other hand, her tone of speaking was not one of disgust– was she truly interested in ways of survival? the number of views have still been ‘one’ for the last hundred chapters or so, though. did she just start reading and appreciating the story? was she–
his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone snickering. han sooyoung’s figure was shaking with the intensity akin to one of those OSIM vibration plates at maximum intensity. she was unable to hold a straight face after hearing his words. tears were streaming out of her eyes as one hand covered her mouth– the other clutching her stomach.
“pfft-HAHAHAHA” han sooyoung cackled, “i, heh– would have never guessed that my only reader– heh-HAHA- was such a- pfft- chuuni– HAHAHAHAHA”
han sooyoung was inconsolable. at this rate, they would get kicked out of the library, which kim dokja loathed. in one day, he would go from being the librarian’s favourite to become the librarian’s most hated.
wait– did she just call me her only reader? that could only mean one thing–
“ you’re the author of ‘ways of survival’? tls123?”
“isn’t it obvious, ‘kim dokja’ ?”
kim dokja was in disbelief. that street-cat gremlin crossbreed? he had certainly not imagined someone like her . he should have had lower expectations when imagining what the author of his favourite web novel was like.
-☆-
“please, what happens to yoo joonghyuk! i will spend my last bit of pocket money to buy you lunch– two lunches!– in exchange for a spoiler– just one– it doesn’t have to be more than that– please! you can’t just ignore me, what if i stop reading your novel!!” kim dokja pleaded, basically grovelling at this point. he was bowing with his head to the floor, hands clasped together, begging for answers.
“oho, you’re getting quite bold. you’re even resorting to threats now, huh?” han sooyoung snickered, obviously amused by her senior. she wasn’t even planning to give him spoilers, thinking that would ruin the ‘reader’s experience’. in actual fact, she was just letting her ego inflate like a giant, indestructible balloon, basking in the sheer absurdity of the situation.
“silence in the library! you two are from the book club, no? why aren’t you doing your jobs?” the librarian’s voice boomed, startling them. with their conversation interrupted, they hurriedly muttered apologies (that they didn’t even mean), and retreated back to the book pile, starting to actually sort the returned books. talk about authority bias.
“ugh, the librarian doesn’t even heed her own advice. i’m completely sure that her shouting made more decibels of noise than us!! now that i think about it, it’s not even our job to do this. it’s so unfair!” han sooyong whispered, casually throwing curse words (which have been gracefully omitted) at the librarian, who was still in close proximity to them. kim dokja glanced at her, a fleeting look of disbelief. even while she was proclaiming all those things, she still followed what the librarian said. han sooyoung might be a coward, kim dokja realised.
kim dokja also thought that han sooyoung had a lot of guts. as a totally responsible teenage girl who had many years of experience living and interacting with other people, didn’t she know that there was a time and a place to say things? at the very least, he was nothing like her, thankfully. after giving himself such a reassurance, he proceeded to harshly step on han sooyoung’s toes to keep her from saying anything else and getting both of them into trouble. he was just a bystander, after all. he wouldn’t want to get punished for no reason, after all.
-☆-
“hey, sooyoung-ie. i don’t really know how to tell you this, but i don’t think you should be friendly with kim dokja. there are many rumours that he’s supernatural– he contracted a demon– and it hit his classmate who did absolutely nothing wrong. i’m just worried for you, you know?”
“huh?” han sooyoung was confused. who was this person? who were they to say anything? why are they calling me sooyoung-ie? we’re not close to each other! han sooyoung squinted, racking her brain to figure out who it was.
right. wasn’t that self-assured girl a senior or something? why should she believe her? in the meagre two hours in which she got to know kim dokja, she knew that he was not the type to do such things. what was that about a demon, anyways? people still believe in that crap?
putting on her best smile, she politely thanked her senior for the information– making sure to flip her senior off with her middle finger when her senior was not looking. sadly, han sooyoung thought, there were still immature brats in this world. han sooyoung wondered if the brat would shit his pants if he had to confront kim dokja. it would be an entertaining sight, to say the least.
in any case, demons seemed like a fun plot point to add into ways of survival– if kim dokja really contracted one, it probably didn’t have malicious intent– nothing had happened to her, after all. it would be interesting to have insight to what real demons were like, and use the information to make ways of survival more realistic. who did she think she was, insulting her new best friend? some genie who was so influential that their every word was followed by others– even by strangers that didn’t know them? no way in hell was she believing that brat-senior-shitface.
-☆-
“everyone, gather around. this term, our club project will be doing in-depth book analysis! you will be put into teams of two, which i have randomised– here are the list of groups!” the teacher-in-charge said, continuing on to elaborate on what types of books they can and cannot make analyses of .
“can we do book analyses on webnovels?” kim dokja queried. he spotted han sooyoung rolling her eyes at him from his peripheral vision. it was her novel, why would she miss out on a chance to promote it?
“no, webnovels are not allowed. there are much better printed books which are written by renowned writers which are far more useful and skillfully written.” the teacher replied, promptly continuing what she was explaining beforehand. as she droned on, kim dokja saw han sooyoung shooting him an i told you so look. webnovels were just as good as any physically printed book out there, thank you very much. kim dokja suspected that the teacher had never tried to read a webnovel in their entire life. there were plenty of famous, well-written ones on par with ‘normal’ novels too.
soon after, the teacher’s lengthy talk ended. the book club members crowded around the paper, the usually silent book club overwhelmed with cacophonous chatter. kim dokja skimmed through the list, finally finding his name. his partner was…. han sooyoung. surprised, he looked back at han sooyoung, who held a similarly shocked expression on her face. how lucky (or unlucky).
-☆-
“i was thinking– maybe we could work on this project at home? your house or my house?i’m free any day.” han sooyoung suggested, absently-mindedly playing a
candy crush
on her phone.
“your house, then? i’m free any day too– we could start on it later today” kim dokja replied, “hey, you should have swapped the blue and the green at the top right. you’ll fail the level.”
sure enough, the big letters ‘YOU FAILED’ appeared not even a minute later. han sooyoung let out a loud groan, annoyed that kim dokja proved her decision wrong.
“why not your house? shouldn’t you be offering me to go to your house? where are your manners?” han sooyoung snapped, the lemon candy in her mouth cracking into pieces under her irritation. kim dokja stayed silent, looking away from her.
“my room is also the size of like two toilet cubicles, and i’m freeloading off my aunt and uncle’s house since my mom is in jail and my father is dead, no thank you.” kim dokja sighed, relenting after much pestering from han sooyoung. he wondered if han sooyoung would stop talking to him after this. in any case, yoo joonghyuk would never leave him, and that was enough. maybe.
“that’s rough, dude. my house, then. sorry about your loss, i guess.” han sooyoung said, voice robotic, and very unlike herself. awkward silence permeated throughout the english literature section, the only noises coming from the game of candy crush on han sooyoung’s screen.
“you’re going to fail this level again, sooyoung.”
“shut up!”
-☆-
han sooyoung is loaded. actually, han sooyoung's parents are loaded. a murderer’s son, standing in the richest neighbourhood in south korea, listening to his friend say that her house is on the top floor of the apartment building– the penthouse! he felt as if he were a commoner being casually invited to a castle filled with furniture and decorations of magnificent grandeur– in which even a candle holder would cost more than him, if he was sold at a human auction.
it was like heaven. was he hallucinating? the whole house looked like something taken out of a catalogue. the bathrooms looked more fancy than those in hotels, with shiny marble tiling– heck, his room was smaller than the bathroom! finally, they arrived in han sooyoung’s room. kim dokja was in awe, taking in the number of plastic figurines and volumes of manga han sooyoung owned. imagine how much that cost!
“hey, do you want orange juice or apple juice,i’m getting some from the fridge.” han sooyoung said, plopping her bag against her bed.
“just water is fine,” kim dokja shouted back, han sooyoung already leaving to go and get snacks. the orange juice han sooyoung had was probably also very expensive, if her apartment said anything about it. he would be forever indebted to her if she drank the orange juice, definitely.
once han sooyoung was away from sight, kim dokja opened his schoolbag, peeking at yoo joonghyuk who was playing games on his phone. upon seeing kim dokja, yoo joonghyuk paused his game, switching to the ‘notes’ app.
“how are you doing?” yoo joonghyuk typed.
“i’m doing fine, joonghyuk-ie. you are very cute today as always! did you make any progress on your game? sooyoung-ah’s apartment is so large! were you looking just now? her parents must be so wealthy! she even has both orange juice and apple juice in her house!” kim dokja whispered, clearly amazed.
“yes, i saw. it is designed well. my rank increased by 20 levels today.”
“that’s more than yesterday! good job, joonghyuk-ie! you’re the cutest!! i’m going to go to the toilet now,so you can do whatever you want!” kim dokja said cheerfully, getting up from his position on the floor.
-☆-
with nothing to do, yoo joonghyuk decided to scour his surroundings. just then, the low battery notification appeared on kim dokja’s phone– it seemed that yoo joonghyuk would have to charge his phone first. he wandered around the room, stubby legs running as fast as they could go. in moments, he had located the charger– on the bedside table. willing his telekinesis powers, he switched on the power switch and promptly plugged in dokja’s phone. with his task completed, yoo joonghyuk went to scour the apartment. there was little he could see from inside kim dokja’s bag, and he wanted to patrol for any items that might be dangerous for dokja.
his peaceful tour was interrupted by a loud, ear piercing screech. in mere milliseconds, yoo joonghyuk turned around, catching the glass cup filled with orange juice that dropped out of han sooyoung’s hand in shock, leaving it floating in the air.
maybe,this wasn’t such a good idea. han sooyoung was alternating her horrified gaze between him and the currently floating glass of orange juice.
yoo joonghyuk had grown so accustomed to using his powers that he forgot other people were not used to seeing a real haunted doll up close in person. just then, kim dokja barrelled down the hallway. “what’s wrong–”
“oh.”
“kim dokja, did you really contract a devil??? what is this annabelle-looking doll in my house! why is it moving! what is it doing to my orange juice!salt! where is the salt!!” han sooyoung shrieked, finding a salt shaker, uncapping the lid and pouring all the salt onto yoo joonghyuk.
“sooyoung-ah, why are you making my joonghyuk-ie dirty? what are you talking about too, not knowing that my joonghyuk-ie can move? there are a thousand rumours about joonghyuk-ie in the school– has no one told you anything?” kim dokja said concerningly, while rushing to yoo joonghyuk’s side and brushing the salt off of him.
“i have heard the rumours– did you think i would believe them? those things come straight out of childrens’ fairytales! and– why is his name joonghyuk-ie!” han sooyoung retorted, in an obvious state of denial.
“he can hear us, you know.” kim dokja sighed.
han sooyoung started yet another wave of screaming as the glass of orange juice still levitated in the air, forgotten.
-☆-
han sooyoung stared blankly at the post-it note in her hands. the five words ‘hello, i am yoo joonghyuk.’ stared back at her, unlike the doll that she had very much seen, and not hallucinated, with her very two eyes using her favourite pen– lifting it in midair and writing those words in the most classy-looking penmanship– before sticking it on her forehead! that rat bastard was coddling him in his arms, the doll’s attention wholly on its owner. “my baby, you’re so adorable! my little snookums, aren’t you so smart? you’re even more talented than me, my skrunkly meow meow!!” han sooyoung was appalled, her jaw permanently open.ow was that kim dokja calling that doll talented? it didn’t even have manners! what was it doing, disrespecting a renowned writer like her!
tuning out kim dokja’s fanboying from her ears (that did not deserve to hear such cringe-worthy words), han sooyoung even wondered how the doll had wanted to stay with that idiot. now that she thinks of it, it makes that doll an idiot too. she’s sane, unlike them, at least. if barbie dolls were haunted, he would be one of them. replaying kim dokja’s words, he was good at everything, just like one of those barbies. according to kim dokja , he had great aesthetic appeal too, which she disagreed with. what’s so great about a small grumpy-looking doll? han sooyoung was dumbfounded.
“you’re telling me that you picked up this pennywise-esque doll from a dumpster one rainy day when you were, what– fifteen?, thinking it was a good idea when you could very well have ended on the news? and it–”
“he. his name is yoo joonghyuk.”
hsy repeats herself exasperatedly, mentally drained from today’s experiences. “you’re telling me he can listen to us, communicate with us, has telekinesis, and saved you from your bullies??” haha, kim dokja thought, from another person's perspective, yoo joonghyuk really was an anomaly compared to other peoples’ everyday lives. “yeah, in short,” kim dokja replied. “now that everything’s settled, though, maybe we can start on the book report? it’s getting late already.” kim dokja mentioned, motioning to the nearby clock.
“ah, right. so, any suggestions on what book? i was thinking…”
-☆-
han sooyoung sighed, the telltale scratching of pen on paper suggesting that yoo joonghyuk was about to annoy her again. at first, it was a simple “you spelt something wrong. in those cases, it would just be a matter of fixing those mistake. if only yoo joonghyuk wanted to elaborate on where the mistake was– over time, his messages shortened to being “you made an error.” or “you made a mistake.”, causing her to have to read through the entire paragraph again to find the error. at this rate, han sooyoung thought, she was going to get white hair. at the young age of sixteen! not to mention that very bastard who was clearing those levels of candy crush that she had been stuck at for two days! yoo joonghyuk was definitely showing off!
“ya, yoo joonghyuk. stop wasting my post-its, you brat.” han sooyoung snapped. the pen writing in midair froze, before putting down the half-written post-it note. yoo joonghyuk
“you made a mistake.” yoo joonghyuk typed on kim dokja’s phone, leaving han sooyoung in a mix of anger and shock.
“why didn’t you do this from the start, you bastard!” han sooyoung shrieked, picking up yoo joonghyuk from the ground and squeezing him just to be stopped by kim dokja. “what are you doing to my joonghyuk-ie!!!” kim dokja screeched, lunging forwards and prying han sooyoung’s fingers away from him.
the sound of han sooyoung’s doorbell ringing made them freeze like deer in headlights. slowly, han sooyoung rose, dropping yoo joonghyuk to the ground. “keep quiet,” han sooyoung hissed, “or i’m going to burn him.” with that, han sooyoung went to answer the door.
it was not, in fact, some serial killer, and it was not her parents. she came face-to-face with her neighbour and–
they got a noise complaint. weren’t the walls here supposed to be thick?
-☆-
the hours passed by quickly after that, as they went back to work. in no time, han sooyoung’s room was illuminated in warm light, the city below bustling with activity, people all going home after work. han sooyoung finished writing her last sentence before taking a sip of orange juice, leaning on her bed.
“i think we can stop here for today,” kim dokja announced, checking the time.
“finally, i feel like we’ve been working for ages at this point.” han sooyoung yawned, her stomach grumbling. “ugh, i don’t want to move. the caretaker assigned to take care of me called in sick so i have to go out and buy something for dinner.” han sooyoung complained.
“oh, joonghyuk-ie can cook. his cooking is amazing!” kim dokja remarked. han sooyoung sighed. yoo joonghyuk really resembled barbie. what else could he do? repair spaceships? build them, even? as much as her body was in disbelief, her mind was too tired to deal with such tings. she was really hungry, too. it wouldn’t be bad to try out what food made by a haunted doll was like, right? she nodded tiredly, too fatigued to deal with the situation that seemed like a fever dream.
chewing on some dried squid she found in the pantry, she watched in amusement as the small figure of yoo joonghyuk chopped vegetables larger than himself, accompanied by kim dokja who was taking pictures of the doll, with stars in his eyes. before long, the food was done. a bowl of curry rice was given to her and kim dokja. she started to understand why kim dokja praised him so much. the food was practically shining, like those drawn in manga! not to mention the smell of the curry– she was drooling. taking her first bite, the savoury taste of the curry and meat overwhelmed her senses. within minutes, she had wolfed down everything.
sitting together at her kitchen counter, she had a feeling that the three of them would be friends for a long, long, time. she wished this moment would last forever.