Work Text:
Wednesday, December 22nd, 1976
Classes had ended two hours ago so Nora Snape was doing what she did most days: hanging out with her girlfriends. The four sixteen year olds had only been dating for three, nearly four, months, but they were very close. It helped that they had all been friends before the relationship began.
They were supposed to be studying, but today just wasn't the day. Dorcas and Marlene couldn't stay focused on the work, just wanting to talk to each other. Nora felt...horrible...today, for no discernible reason. And Lily didn't want to be the only one studying. So, they were all just chilling in Nora's dorm.
Nora almost wished they were working, at least then she might have some distraction from the...feeling....But, she also knew it would be impossible for her to work anyway, so there was no use.
"Nora? Are you okay, babe? You haven't been interacting." Marlene asked, she was always the first to notice when something was going on with her partners, and people in general.
"....I'm, um...." Nora didn't know what to say.
"Well, that settles it." Lily muttered loud enough for the others to hear. Nora was always clear and forward in what she thought and felt, so her hesitance was cause for concern.
"....I just...." Nora tried again.
"You don't have to use your words." Dorcas reminded. Nora nodded, but she still wanted to use her words.
"Are you going non-verbal?" Lily questioned.
Nora shrugged. Sometimes she went non-verbal because of her autism, and it did kind of feel like this, but....She wasn't sure if that was what was actually happening or not.
"Do you have any idea what's happening?" Marlene questioned, non-judgmentally.
"I think" Nora trailed off. What did she think?
"Nor?" Lily prompted.
"....I think...." Nora again began. "I think that I do not...fit...."
"You don't fit where?" Dorcas wanted to know.
"....Anywhere...."
"You fit with us." Lily insisted.
"But....I don't...."
"Why not?" Dorcas fiddled with her left braid, as she always did when nervous.
"....I don't know....Because you're all girls...." Nora admitted.
"But, you're also a girl?" Marlene pointed out.
"Yeah, but...."
"Is this because you're trans?"
Nora couldn't look at Marlene as she nodded. "I think so."
"What about you being trans?" Lily wondered out loud.
"....It's just....You all have been girls your whole lives, and I mean...so have I, but....It's different." Nora, for once in her life, had no idea what to say.
"Right." Dorcas understood. "You've been socialized different, and you look different, and people have known as different in the past. That does change things."
Nora nodded, glad someone understood.
"But," Dorcas went on "Nora, that doesn't change things for us. We still love you, you're still our girlfriend. We'll never see you as less of a girl, a woman."
"....But, I....I look like a man...." Nora really couldn't comprehend their acceptance.
"It doesn't matter what you look like, it's about who you are. But, honestly, and I mean honestly, I think you're a pretty hot woman." Lily assured, lightning the mood, but clearly not joking.
Nora smiled, but it quickly dropped. "I just...I really want to pass....I know passing isn't everything, but....I really want to."
"Nora, it's okay to want to pass. It doesn't make you a bad person or transphobic. You just want to look like you, that's human." Marlene responded, fighting to get her point across in tone alone.
"We all love you, Nora. For the amazing, intelligent, strong woman you are. And we always will, no matter what you decide to do about gender or presentation." Lily, the token anti-cheesy lines person, replied sincerely.
Nora gulped. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. What she had done to deserve this. What was happening at all.
How could her girlfriends really like her? Really feel that way about her?
"My parents...they...." It was always hard for Nora to talk about her 'family' "You know how they feel...."
"We do." Lily responded. "But, we don't care. You're amazing, Nora, they don't matter."
"....You're probably right, but...it still hurts...." Nora told the other girls, tearfully.
"....I know, baby....But, you have us, and....And we'll never let them hurt you again." Marlene struggled to talk, overcome with anger at Nora's life-givers.
Nora wiped her soon-to-fall tears away with her sweater sleeve, it didn't work well, it never did. "....I want...."
"What do you want?" Dorcas asked, making it clear Nora could ask for anything.
"....I want....I want to....I want to...cuddle...."
"How?" Lily asked. Nora had multiple different ways she like to cuddle depending on the situation. Cuddling in the wrong way could be catastrophic depending on the situation.
Nora expanded the bed to accommodate all four of them before she started positioning people.
First she laid in the middle of the bed, and indicated that Lily should do the same on her left. Dorcas went next to Lily, and Marlene next to Nora. Finally, she hugged Lily as tight as she could, the red-head reciprocating. Marlene and Dorcas hugged whichever girl was next to them, though slightly looser. As a bit of an afterthought, Dorcas covered all of the girls in Nora's comforter.
Sometimes when she did this Nora wanted her noise-canceling headphones and/or weighted blanket, but right now, she just want her girlfriends.
Her girlfriends and pressure and no other stimuli.
It was perfect.