Chapter Text
Everything passed by as a blur, a few images standing out here and there only to be swallowed back up in the constant stream of movement around him. Despite his efforts to the contrary, the dark-haired man fell asleep multiple times, each time waking in new surroundings that he didn’t recognize in the slightest. The experience would have been overwhelming, but on the journey to and through France and now England, one thing had remained constant: the presence of the man with whom he’d first started the journey.
At the thought of his companion, worry twisting his stomach at how many nurses and doctors were surrounding his bed, Lieutenant Ronald Speirs turned his head to watch what was happening at the hospital bed across from his. Or rather, the curtain that was now up between them. One of the nurses—he’d already forgotten her name—told him the officers were entitled to be moved to another ward, but he’d refused. He had to look out for his men. He couldn’t quite remember why this particular man, but that wasn’t going to stop him from staying if he could.
“There now, see, you’re worrying again,” said a soft voice by his other side. He turned his head, finding the faintly blurred outline of a redheaded nurse standing by his side. She had been there when they first arrived—he thought. He was almost certain, anyway. He seemed to recall it was a redhead who had been speaking to Luz and the medic who had come on the plane with them. They’d been talking about a head wound—his head wound, he’d realized after a few minutes of listening.
“Your friend is going to be okay, Leftenant,” she continued, voice breaking through his thoughts. He pulled his gaze from his arm where the IV was attached back to her face as he tried to concentrate on her words as she fluffed up his pillow a little and tugged his blanket more over him. The intrusion in his personal space made him tense a little, but upon realizing what she was doing, he relaxed again, reminding himself firmly it wasn’t a kraut leaning over him, it was a woman, and a nurse at that. “It’s just a quick check and I’ll pull back the curtain so you two can talk if you want before Doctor Philips comes to see how you’re doing.”
“But…but is he—are you sure? That—that he’s okay?” Speirs asked, voice still hoarse from sleep and lack of a proper meal since he didn’t know when.
“He’s fine, and you fretting about him wouldn’t help him even if he wasn’t,” she admonished gently but firmly. “Now, you do your best to rest before the doctor comes. I’ll check on you both again in a few hours before my shift ends. Did you want anything while I’m here, sir?”
He considered the offer for only a moment, giving a small shake of his head. “N—No. Tha—thank you.” She smiled and made as if to pat his leg, then decided against it at the last moment.
“All right then, but there’s water here if you want it, and we’ll have good meals here too, if the doctor says you’re allowed. You could use a little more padding for those bones, if I do say so…hmm…I must leave a note so they know you—”
“Anna?”
She turned her head at the call. “What can they want now…?” she sighed before disappearing around the corner of the curtain.
Speirs looked for a while at where she had been before turning his gaze back to the curtain that hid Luz from sight. He frowned, and after a long moment turned his gaze to the ceiling, trying to follow the nurse’s advice to relax and wait. But he was soon shifting around restlessly, dark eyes going right back to the curtain that had not been moved, even though doctors were already leaving to check on another incoming patient. Was the other man okay? Had something happened? He shut his eyes, trying to stop the worry from mounting, and failing. Maybe he should get up and go see for himself—
He’d just pulled his blanket down, about to do just that when one of the nurses finally started to push the curtain out of the way.
A pale-faced Luz looked over at him from the next bed, easy smile slipping onto his face. “What’s this? You going someplace, buddy?”
Speirs relaxed a little upon seeing the other man, the anxious thoughts going through his head evaporating at once. “You—you’re okay,” he said.
“Sure.” Luz sighed and looked over at the nurse that was checking his chart. “Be a whole lot more okay if I could get a pack of smokes.” He said throwing on all his charm as he smiled hopefully at the woman.
“’Fraid you’ll be doing without until the doctor says otherwise, love,” said the nurse, patting his hand.
Luz sighed again and watched the woman leave.
“The way they act around here, you’d think a cigarette’d kill you or something.”
“…How…long…until you…you’re out?” Speirs asked after a moment, thinking about what Luz’s nurse had said.
“Huh? What? Out of the hospital? Not for weeks.” Luz could already feel an antsy feeling stirring under his skin at the thought of being out of commission for that long. “Might as well call it months. Goddamn war could be over by then. Jesus. What a time to get shot. Didn’t even get into Germany.” He complained, shifting a bit so he was more comfortable.
“You…you think—it—will be?”
Luz tried to shrug and then regretted it instantly, his shoulders and torso aching. “Eh, might be. Could be the drugs talking though. Now how about you, buddy? They poke and prod you yet?”
“No.” Besides a doctor’s quick examination when he was first brought into the hospital and the nurse setting up an IV, that was. “I…I think—a nurse. She said…” He paused, brow wrinkling as he tried to recall what it was she’d said to him.
Luz frowned. He’d hoped that they’d gotten all their testing and whatnot out of the way already, Luz handily nearby in case Speirs got skittish, now though, with the doc telling him there could be complications with his lung and he might need another surgery…Jesus. A place full of doctors and shit and they can’t even see to one goddamn patient.
“Never mind, they’ll probably be around soon.” Luz paused, tired eyes scanning the other man’s face. “You doing okay, buddy?” He asked quietly.
The lieutenant met his searching glance with a small nod. “Just…tired,” he said, speaking carefully to avoid repeating himself. But Luz didn’t need him to speak to confirm it; the exhaustion showed clearly enough. The dark shadows under his eyes were only made worse by the bruises on his cheek from a few days ago that had yet to fade, though they were beginning to be hidden behind dark stubble. “At least—there’s…no…mortars…h-here,” he said slowly, a distant look springing momentarily to his eye.
“I need to scrounge up a pack of cards. Lost mine somewhere—still need to teach you how to play Gin.” Luz said cheerfully, eyes wary as he caught the faraway glint in Speirs’ gaze. “I’ll take it easy on you—we won’t use real money to bet with.”
“…Then…what—what…would be—the point?” the lieutenant murmured, but some of the clarity returned to his eyes, the ghost of a smile on his face.
“Think Lip’d throw the book at me if I wiped you out, but tell you what, the moment you start being able to beat me, we’ll upgrade to pennies.” Luz relaxed into his pillows, satisfied that he’d manage to avoid disaster. “It’ll have to be on the honour system though—I’m broke.”
Speirs started to open his mouth to respond when one of the nurses from earlier approached Luz’s bedside, the dark-haired woman coming to a halt beside him after retrieving the clipboard at the end of his bed.
“Sergeant Luz?”
“The one and only.” Luz smiled at her. “Come to lend a beautiful shoulder for me to cry on?”
“I’m afraid not, sergeant,” she said with a smile. “The doctors have sent me to collect you. They’ve put you on the roster for today’s surgeries.”
Luz’s face turned serious. “Ah. Was that today?” He joked lightly, worried gaze turning to Speirs. The guy hadn’t even liked him being out his sight for a couple minutes, how the hell was he going to do when Luz was going for possibly hours?
Speirs was already frowning, hand tapping nervously on his bed. He knew he wouldn’t be able to go with him when he was having surgery. But if something happened—
“Now now, don’t be upset, either of you,” said the nurse, patting Luz’s leg, about to do the same to Speirs when he turned a flat stare onto her. She wisely decided to remain where she was. Strange sort, the Americans. “The doctor is very good at this, and I’ve been told it’s not going to take very long,” she continued, speaking to Luz. “You’ll be back and about before you know it, sergeant, though if you still feel crying when you come back,” she winked at him, “my shoulder will be right here waiting for you. Now, are you ready?”
Luz smiled at the nurse distractedly. “Yeah, sure. You heard the lady, buddy—be back before you know it. Try and catch a few Z’s all right?”
Speirs frowned worriedly as he nodded, the anxious feeling already growing in the pit of his stomach again, and worsening when the nurse started to adjust Luz’s bed so he could be moved. “O…okay…”
Luz eyed him worriedly and then lowered his voice so only the nurse could hear. “Everyone here, they know about the Lieutenant right? His head and all?”
“Everything important should be written on his chart, sergeant,” she said soothingly, though her gaze was distracted as she started to motion a few orderlies over to help. “We’ve had plenty of head wounds, you know, even before the war. They know to take special care of him, you’ll see.”
Luz wasn’t entirely convinced, too used to Lipton or him being the only ones that seemed able to calm Speirs down, but he dutifully settled back down against the pillows and gave Speirs one last encouraging look. “I’ll be all right, doc here knows what he’s doing.” He paused, trying to figure out how to tell the man to be good without sounding like he was talking to a child, the strange medical personnel making him feel self-conscious about addressing his CO like that. Failing, he just smiled and gave a little wave as he was rolled away, concern for Speirs sitting heavy in his gut.
Speirs watched them go, resisting the urge to sit up and follow. It would be okay. He’d be right back. He said he would be okay and he’d be right back…without realizing it, his hand had found its way into his pocket, to the candy bars and flattened metal coin that hadn’t been taken away by the nurses. It was the metal coin he was unconsciously searching for, though, and he started to twist it nervously in his fingers as he stared at the closed doors they had disappeared through.
It seemed like Luz had been gone for hours instead of the five minutes it had been in reality, the sudden opening of the door into the ward tricking him into thinking that Luz was returning only to show a thin faced man wearing glasses—his white coat denoting him a doctor. The strange man glanced over the room before making his way purposefully over to Speirs’ bed.
“Leftenant Speirs?” The man asked as he unhooked his chart from the foot of the bed and briefly scanned over it. “I’m Doctor Philips here to see about that head of yours.”
“…Philips?” Speirs repeated with a scowl, trying to remember where he’d heard the name last. Someone mentioned it—he just couldn’t remember who or when. He eyed the doctor suspiciously, holding the coin tightly in his palm.
“That’s right. One of our nurses probably already told you about me, but from these notes, I take it your memory is a bit on the shoddy side at the moment.” The doctor replaced the chart and came over to the side of the bed, hands reaching for the bandage on his brow.
Speirs shrank away from him, heartbeat speeding up at the sudden proximity, the image of a German leering over him flashing through his head, though when he blinked a few times, he was back in the hospital. “Get—get back,” he ordered.
The doctor let his hands drop back to his sides, but he remained where he was, voice gentling in a poor attempt to sound soothing. “I understand you suffer from flashbacks, Leftenant, but you’re in hospital now, I’m here to help you. I see from your chart that you’ve already had a preliminary examination with no trouble. Perhaps a light sedative will allow you to be more relaxed.”
“No,” Speirs flatly refused, the man’s manner only serving to make the uneasiness twisting in his stomach stronger. His eyes darted to the exit and then back to the man’s face, shadowed from the light behind him. “N—no—I don’t—I don’t want—I don’t want it—”
“Quite understandable, but you do see that I must treat you? A sedative will help calm you enough to undergo the x-rays and other tests we have need of to get you back to fighting fit. Do you understand? This is all for your own good.”
“No—no—it’s—it’s not—” He fumbled for the right words, failing to find them, gaze darting once more to the exit, to the orderlies and nurses moving around the room, to the doctor, to the empty spot where Luz should have been—too many of them, there were too many people moving back and forth and surrounding him— “I don’t—it’s not—not safe—”
“I assure you, it’s quite safe here. Nurse? Bring me a sedative—”
One of the nurses obediently moved to follow the doctor’s orders. Speirs watched her move, panic creeping through him and chilling him to the bone, whatever the doctor was saying drifting away, his hand holding the coin so tight it felt as if it might leave a permanent imprint.
He wanted Luz. He wanted Lipton. He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to be there and the doctor was too close and the nurse was approaching—but she never had a chance of nearing them. Something had changed in Speirs’ expression, his eyes dilated almost appearing black—and with the doctor still standing too close, much too close—a German standing over him with a rifle butt—
He was on his feet before even being conscious of moving, and when hands instinctively reached to restrain him—he simply reacted. The startled gasps and cries of the nurses and patients in the room were lost as he hurled the doctor to the floor in one quick movement, then stood unsteadily over him breathing hard, chest heaving.
A young faced nurse screamed for orderlies, the other nurses attempting to soothe the other patients as they watched Speirs with fearful yet wary eyes.
One brave soul even attempted to speak to Speirs from afar, her voice gentle and her hands upraised in a placating manner.
Whatever she was saying was completely lost on Speirs however, as the orderlies burst into the room and made a beeline for him, the doctor dazedly rising to his feet and snapping something at them, ignoring the nurse’s protests.
Speirs never saw the orderlies. He saw Germans.
And he reacted.