Work Text:
Dean was able to keep this a secret for so long from anyone close to him, able to go once a year for a week on a ‘business trip’. And yet the boy with the messy black hair and vibrant blue eyes fell into his life as his prince, and now Dean’s fucked. He first became friends with this boy during the LARP for this book series called Supernatural that Dean is obsessed with. And not just because he resonates with the brotherly bond or anything or hopes for an angel of his own that loves him like the angel loves one of the brothers in the series that Dean most resonates with. Anyways, he played a hunter every time because it’s freaking badass . During this particular roleplay week, Dean was being rescued from hell due to an angel pulling him out of perdition. And this angel was H.O.T. Dean can admit it, he had a little crush and his skin burned where the angel held his bare arm as he pulled him out of the pit of foam they used to represent hell.
They became best friends, constantly texting, calling, skyping, anything. And they continued their roleplay as the best friend hunter and angel duo fighting demons and angels as they went, usually having to find different places in the woods to camp out in between fights because they couldn’t be caught. Cas had only died once in the roleplay and Dean died once, the other insisting on being killed as well to go out with the best friend to lounge together in a motel for the rest of the week they were meant to be gone. Dean didn’t mind, especially as his stupid crush turned into more and he finally admitted that he was in love with this angel, this real life angel that was kind, generous, funny, and so, so ignorant to pop culture, much like the angel in the book. And he is in love with his best friend. His best friend who is not single.
He had come out to Sammy as a result of this realization of being bi. Sam took it in stride, trying to set Dean up with guys and girls alike until Dean broke and told Sam everything. Not about LARP-ing, mind you, but about loving his best friend that he meets every year on these supposed business trips. Dean knows that Sam is a bit suspicious of these trips, but he still has no evidence, so Dean keeps up the ruse. Sam kept trying to push Dean to ask Cas out, but Dean wimped out every time and now he has no chance because Cas keeps raving about this boyfriend and how in love he is and even takes pictures to send to Dean of them sleeping or of them doing anything together (not sex, thank god).
Every picture hurts Dean to the very core because he wants to be the one cuddling Cas, he wants to be the one kissing Cas, he wants to be the one taking Cas on these trips. But he’s a coward, and now he’s paying the price.
But a few weeks before their next LARP, Dean gets a call from Castiel while he is moping about his loss and fretting about acting weird around Cas and whatnot.
“Heya, Cas,” Dean says cheerfully, putting on the front he always has to nowadays after looking at the pictures Cas has sent for the hundredth time.
“Hello, Dean,” Cas rasps. Dean instantly knows that something is wrong.
“Cas? What’s going on, buddy?”
“Balth...he, uh, he broke up with me,” Cas says seemingly calm, but Dean knows better. He knows that when Cas removes all the emotion in his voice that he’s hurting too bad to let anyone else know that he has emotions to be hurt.
“Cas,” Dean sighs, not knowing what to say. “What do you need? Anything, anything at all and I’ll do it, promise, bud.”
“I don’t know. I do not wish to talk about it, but I feel the need to take...revenge? He said I, uh, am too boring and nerdy for him, never wanting to go out to bars or these...sex clubs that he wants to go to. Am I boring, Dean?”
“Hell, no, Cas. Not you. I wouldn’t try to talk to you every second I can if I thought you were boring. Hell, I think you’re one of the most interesting people I know. I like that you’re nerdy, and he should have never tried to pressure you into that crap. If it’s not for you, then it’s not for you and any good boyfriend would have respected that boundary.”
“...Thank you, Dean.”
“‘Course.”
There’s a slight pause and Dean lets Cas take the next step in what he wants to talk about. Dean’s never been good at this stuff anyways, so he lets Cas say what he needs instead of trying to guess.
“Be my boyfriend,” Cas suddenly says. Dean’s brain stops working because what. the. fuck.
“Cas, uh,” Dean tries to say before Cas interjects.
“Dean, I need you to be my boyfriend for the next LARP. Balth is going because I convinced him to go and it’s where our characters are headed anyways. Plus, we apparently already act like a couple, so all we have to do is hand holding. We don’t even have to kiss if it makes you uncomfortable, but it would make it more realistic and I just want him to feel...regret. I don’t know how else to. Please, Dean?”
With that voice, Dean could never resist, he doesn’t even think when responding with, “Yes.”
And oh, shit. He’s fucked. He just agreed to play boyfriend with the man he loves.
--
Dean was okay until he got to the location and found Cas in his arms, hugging him tightly. Dean finds himself gripping just as tight with the stupid grin on his face that only Cas could bring out of him. He feels completely pathetic, but Cas is here, and he gets to act like a couple with him for a week. A week of touching and, maybe, kissing. Shit.
They make their way to camp to claim their name tags that indicate that Cas is an angel and Dean is a hunter, officially activating their abilities. Cas can smite anyone upon touch and Dean can shoot rock salt with the fake gun and exorcize demons and everything else that nearly everyone else can do. Except this time he’s been given a demon blade to kill demons upon contact, which will be useful with how many demons are in the game this year. Dean doesn’t mind, he loves playing a hunter. A hunter who now has an angel holding his hand, sending his heart into a frenzy. If this is how he dies, he thinks it wouldn’t be too bad of a death.
Except for in that moment, Charlie’s wife, Cara, spots them and notifies her wife. So, Charlie is now coming at them with the biggest grin on her face and practically jumping off the walls.
“What’s up bitches? I’m so happy for you two! You are together, right?” Charlie asks worriedly as if having second thoughts. But Cas seems fully dedicated because he leans up to kiss Dean on the cheek, causing Dean to blush profusely.
“Yes, we are,” Cas replies with a dopey smile on his face that causes Dean’s heart to flip in its place, wanting to reach out to him and claim him. But Dean has to remind himself that this is fake because it feels real. Too real.
“I’m so happy! You two are the cutest ! Cara and I took bets on when you two would get together because you two were both pining for each other, and it was pathetic to hear you two go on and on about how the other would never love you and blah blah blah, but now you two are together and isn’t it wonderful!” Charlie squeals, leaning back into her wife as she envelopes Charlie from behind.
“Yes, wonderful,” Dean says, confused. “Excuse me.”
Dean walks off, his mind spinning. He did complain to Charlie about Cas never going to love him in the way that Dean does, but did Cas do the same thing? No, he had a boyfriend. There’s no chance that Cas would like him like that, even as a single man. They’re friends, that’s all.
Dean grabs some food from the food table, grabbing a plate of sweets and PB&Js for Cas and a plate of pie for himself, taking them back over to Cas who beams when he sees the plate, his eyes absolutely lighting up.
“Thank you, Dean,” Cas says and Dean melts.
“Course, babe,” Dean says, kissing Cas on the cheek because he can. Holy crap, he can, even if it’s not real. He can be as affectionate as he wants with Cas whose ears are now tinted red. “Are we going to pick our camping spot for the night? The games start tomorrow and it’s starting to get dark.”
“Of course,” Cas agrees.
They’re off into the woods with their packs on their backs, finding an area by the river that they know monsters will be attracted to in the morning. Dean sets up the tent and Cas sets up a fire. They don’t care tonight if anybody sees since nobody could do anything about it tonight, but later on they will have to be more careful about smoke.
When Dean finishes and places the sleeping bags in the tent along with the rest of their stuff thrown in there, he heads out to see Cas already at the fire, roasting a couple marshmallows, his face glowing from the light of the fire.
Dean sits next to Cas and starts roasting his own marshmallow after setting up the ingredients for s'mores so he could just slide the gooiness into the chocolate and graham cracker duo. Cas leans heavily on Dean with his head on Dean’s shoulder, and that’s nothing new. Dean usually lets himself be touchy-feely with Cas because he can’t hide anything from his best friend. Cas gave in easily once Dean told Cas his crappy childhood and tends to seek out contact that Dean has so desperately craved his whole life.
After they eat their s’mores, they put a cover over the fire to burn out and head into the tent, squeezing into the small space available since this tent was obviously meant for one person, but it’s easier to take up and down, which is vital to them.
“Dean?” Cas asks in the dark.
“Hmm?” Dean replies.
“Will you kiss me? For practice, of course.”
“Didn’t we already do that?”
“You know what I mean. On the lips. I’ve never really been...good at it and people will assume that I’m good at it with you, and for two people to be good at kissing together they must practice and get good over time.”
Dean thinks this through. He knows his heart won’t be able to take this after the week is over, but for now, he wants it so bad that he caves without too much thought.
“‘Course, angel,” Dean whispers, barely able to see Cas’s eyes in the dark, but he reaches out to find Cas’s face, stroking his fingers along Cas’s jawline and leaning in.
“You sure about this?” Dean asks, needing to know that it’s okay.
“Yes. I’ve never been more sure about anything,” Cas whispers. That’s all Dean needs to close the gap and gently take Cas’s lips in his own, allowing himself to fall into the gentle, wet slide and pull of the kiss.
Dean can’t help the breathy whimper that he lets out, tangling his fingers into Cas’s hair and pulling Cas to hover over him, to get closer to him and take his warmth to mix with his own. Dean tries to get closer, his eyes clenched painfully tight because this feels so right, so good that he never wants it to end.
Cas claimed to not be good at this, but they just fit . Sure, it took a bit to get into a groove, but they listened to each other’s bodies and gave and took and oh god, Cas’s hands are roaming Dean’s bare chest as ravenous, possessive sounds escape Cas’s lips. Dean feels owned, and he loves it, needing this from Cas. Dean wants more, but he knows that Cas doesn’t want that. He’s just wrapped up in the moment and he’ll regret the way his body is moving, grinding against Dean’s. Dean won’t be able to take it if Cas regrets it so much that he stops talking to Dean, so Dean does one of the most difficult things he’s ever done in his life: he pulls back away from Cas.
But his hand still moves in Cas’s hair and he still gazes lovingly at Cas, unable to hide it right now. He has never been more thankful for the dark than in this moment. He couldn’t bear if Cas knew his secret. Cas could probably feel his arousal and that’s embarrassing enough, so Dean catches his breath as they stay still in silence.
“Dean,” Cas breathes, leaning in again, but Dean stops him.
“Cas,” Dean says, trying to keep his voice from wavering, but he assumes he failed. “We...we can’t.”
Cas leans forward to rest his forehead on Dean’s. He’s so close that Dean can see Cas’s eyes are closed and his eyebrows are scrunched together as if he’s in pain. Dean wonders yet again if maybe this isn’t entirely unrequited, but that’s absurd.
Although, it’s not because that was not a normal practice kiss, that was exploration and passion and-
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas says, breaking the hopeful spell Dean had worked himself under. “Goodnight.”
With that, Cas seems reluctant to get off of Dean but does so anyways. Dean immediately misses Cas’s warmth. He wants to curl up to Cas and hold him close. But he can’t. Because this isn’t real.
“‘Night, Cas.”
--
It isn’t until their second to last day that anything really interesting happens. Sure, the typical angels and demons and ghosts and vampires and werewolves and any other monster imaginable comes around, but the ‘big bad’ hasn’t been discovered by anybody yet.
Dean and Cas have just been sleeping without talking to each other each night, acting as though that first night never happened. Dean misses it and wants to kiss Cas again, but they haven’t been around other hunters long enough to constitute another kiss. Not to mention that they haven’t seen Balthazar yet, not giving Dean a reason to be overly lovey-dovey like he really wants to.
Dean’s just packing up the tent when he hears Cas cry out for him, sending Dean into action because somebody is hurting his angel. Whoever it is, they will pay severely.
Dean’s heart races as he runs faster than he ever has to make it to Cas in time, gun in hand, aimed out in front of him. He breaks through a cluster of bushes to see Cas with his hands in the air, kneeling on the ground as demons surround him. They had taken Cas’s charm that allowed him to smite them, effectively taking away Cas’s grace, and that infuriated Dean.
“What the fuck is going on, here?” he yells and the demons all turn to him with grins on their faces.
“And his hunter friend. What did we say we’d do to him?” One of the demons taunts, stepping closer, but Dean knows the gun is useless, so he slowly reaches for his back pocket where the vial of holy water is stored. He glares at all of the demons and makes sure they’re all closing in on him as he takes steps back.
“Oh, that’s right,” the demon continues, snapping their fingers as if they actually forgot. “We were going to tear him piece by piece before killing him in front of his famous boyfriend. Because this one’s special. Balthazar will be pleased that we caught his former lover. So we’ll keep him alive and he’ll have to live with knowing that his own lover is dead!”
This demon seemed all too pleased about this deal, but Dean knows that there’s a devil’s trap just through the bushes, so he turns and runs, making sure she at least gets in the circle before he throws the holy water at the other demons who scream and scatter, obviously not brave enough to stay and fight with their master stuck in a devil’s trap.
Dean turns and runs to Cas, placing his hands on either side of Cas’s face, brushing his thumbs on Cas’s skin in reassurance.
“Did they hurt you? Cas, are you hurt?” Dean asks, his eyes worried that his boyfriend is hurt.
“No. No, they just threatened with words. Dean, Balthazar is the leader of demons this time. He’s the ‘big bad’ that leads all the monsters through his demons,” Cas explains and Dean sees that his boyfriend is worried.
Dean startles as he realizes what he had been calling Cas in his mind. Boyfriend. Just like the demons said. But he’s not his boyfriend, now is he?
“It’s going to be okay, Cas. I got a plan,” Dean says, standing up and offering a hand to Cas who takes it without hesitation. Dean hauls Cas up, and Cas brushes himself off before following Dean who has started back through the bushes.
Dean yanks Cas’s grace out of the demon’s hands and holds it out to Cas without looking at him, maintaining his glare with the demon.
“Here’s how it’s going to work, lady. You’re going to take us to your boss,” Dean says, and the demon sneers.
“And why’s that?” she asks. Dean makes a snap decision, the only decision that will get both him and Cas to the end. He knows that Cas is going to be pissed, but he hopes that Cas will understand.
“Or else Balthazar will never have the opportunity to be reunited with his precious angel,” Dean sneers, taking out the angel blade and showing the demon. He hears Cas gasp behind him, but Dean keeps up his persona that he needs to keep right now.
“You'd never. You love him too much. It’s obvious, really,” the demon accuses.
“Oh, yeah? You really want to call my bluff, lady? He’s useful, that’s it. I don’t love him, never have, never will. He’s just easier to keep around than make enemies with since he can practically smite anything, but have you ever seen us actually do anything more than hold hands? No, lady, so I’d say that you have a choice to make,” Dean threatens.
“Fine, do it. Then you have no bargaining chip and you’ll have killed an angel without reason. Heaven will be down on you sooner than you can blink,” she threatens, and Dean laughs bitterly.
“Sure, lady. You know who will know that you’re here, though. Who will know that you let his prize die?” Dean sneers and the demon pales, seeing where this is going. “Balthazar. Up to you, lady. Who do you fear more? If the angel dies, I exorcize you anyways, so make your choice. Better be quick.”
Dean spins around and swings the blade at Cas, keeping the tip covered so it wouldn’t actually hurt Cas, but he almost falters as he sees Cas in tears. Actual tears, looking so hurt and defeated. But he doesn’t stop, and he’s thankful because then the demon speaks.
“Stop!” the demon screams right before the blade covered by Dean’s finger hits Cas, almost revealing his bluff. Cas looks down at the blade and seems to notice the tip covered because he looks at Dean with such admiration and relief that Dean’s thankful that the demon can’t see Cas’s face right now.
“Why should I?” Dean sneers, turning back to the demon.
“I’ll do it. I’ll take you to Balthazar.”
--
Dean and Cas walk the entire day without touching each other so the demon doesn’t call their bluff, but Dean shoots Cas a look that asks him if he’s okay and Cas nods, even giving Dean a small smile. Dean almost sags in relief before replacing the mask on his face of nonchalance, Cas going back into a character of fear. Cas could make a good actor, Dean thinks, because the whole performance wouldn’t have been possible to keep up the whole day without Cas keeping up his part.
They arrive into the deepest part of the forest that people rarely venture into because it’s known to be filled with thorny plants, but the demon seems to know a path void of any of these threats. Dean makes sure to keep his holy water out just in case the demon decides to trick them in any way.
Dean hears the camp much sooner than he sees it, the sounds of laughter and chanting to some sort of song carrying through the night. He sees the light of the camp not long after and notices several tents set up by a fire in the middle of the campsite that has a circle of demons surrounding it, all connected by hands.
It’s pretty obvious which one is Balthazar because he’s clad in a large dark cloak and is sitting on a throne apart from the circle. The demon takes Dean and Cas over to Balthazar, and the demon actually kneels in front of her master.
“Ruby,” Balthazar’s voice booms, causing the festivities to silence as the other demons cower in fear. “Why the bloody hell did you bring them here?”
“The hunter threatened to kill your former lover,” she pleads, but Balthazar seems appalled.
“And you believed him? He clearly loves the angel,” Balthazar reasons, giving Dean a once over who in turn glares at the man that hurt Cas so much. Dean moves closer to Cas and puts an arm around his waist to comfort him. Cas, in turn, leans into Dean and seems to cower in Balthazar’s presence, obviously feeling lesser, and Dean hates the man even more, if that’s even possible.
“He...he swung the angel blade and it was about to pierce, my lord,” she - Ruby - pleads, and Balthazar sneers.
“Well they seem damn well lovey-dovey just now!” he shouts. Even Dean jumps at the booming voice, instinctively tightening his hold on Cas.
Ruby quickly looks back at them and her eyes widen at them holding each other, seeming to realize the predicament she’s just gotten herself into.
“My lord,” she tries to plead, but Balthazar only reaches out and places his hand on her forehead. Ruby screams. Dean realizes then that this demon, this supposed Knight of Hell, has the ability to exorcize his own demons because Ruby collapses, only going to move once no one is looking.
“Now,” Balthazar sneers, looking up to set his eyes on Cas. “Cassie, it’s been too long! Why don’t you come here so we can catch up while we take care of this... thing. Don’t you want to fix it all, be normal for once. We can fix you.”
Dean moves to pull Cas behind him.
“Now listen here, you piece of shit,” Dean starts, but Cas puts a hand on Dean’s arm, silently asking him to stop. Dean looks over at Cas, silently asking him if he’s sure, but Cas’s wide blue eyes stare back at him for a moment, moving over him as if memorizing him before nodding, pulling Dean into a hug that Dean returns. Dean’s a bit confused at the gesture, but plays the part anyways, taking any and all of Cas that he can get.
Cas turns to Balthazar, slowly walking forward before talking. “I know you told me that I’m boring and nerdy, but Dean has never thought so. He likes me for who I am, so I don’t particularly feel like clearing up this supposed mess. I’m happy with Dean because he accepts me and doesn’t manipulate me to stay with him. He gives me my space when I need it, and he holds me close when I claim to not need comfort because he knows that I’m just too scared to ask. He doesn’t accuse me of cheating or betraying him, nor does he pressure me into things I do not wish to participate in like orgies or drug parties-”
“Cassie,” Balthazar says, seeming to be infuriated, but softening slightly as he realizes how upset Cas is. Dean wants to rush forward and take Cas to safety, but Cas said he’s got this in not so many words, so Dean has to trust him. “We both know that you were in love with him from the beginning.”
“Yes, but I was never unfaithful. I thought it unrequited, so I tried to move on and make us work because I thought you were funny and interesting, but you’re really just a big bag of dicks!” Cas shouts, taking out a blade from his back pocket, a blade Dean recognizes as the same one he had in his back pocket moments ago that he was saving for the final battle because it could kill anything. But Dean now knows why Cas hugged him to erase suspicion so he can now stab Balthazar who screams and looks at Cas with betrayal before pulling out a blade of his own, an angel blade, and stabs Cas who looks horrified.
“No!” Dean screams, rushing forward, but it’s too late. Cas is dead along with Balthazar, and the demons are starting to snap out of their stunned silence, turning on Dean now. Still, Dean rushes to his knees next to Cas and takes Cas’s head in his own, placing a kiss on Cas’s forehead.
“I love you, too, angel. Always,” Dean vows, having figured out that Cas meant that he loves him in his speech with Balthazar. It wasn’t unrequited. “I’ll go down with you. See you soon.”
With that, Dean fought until he could fight no longer, falling down in a pile of demons that surrounded Cas’s body, Dean’s head falling on Cas’s chest to rest for a while until they could all move out of the clearing and make it back to home base to wait out the rest of the game.
--
“I can’t believe you actually killed the big bad this year, Cas!” Charlie squeals after the final day was done and the entire story was told. Mostly with Cas and Dean in it because they were the ones that made their way to the hideout, but everyone had pretty interesting parts in the overall storyline.
“It wasn’t a big deal,” Cas pleads, seeming uncomfortable with all the praise he’s receiving.
“I think you were amazing! So proud of you,” Dean promises, kissing Cas’s cheek and knowing it’s finally real. “Not to mention it was a major turn on to see you getting all commanding like that, taking control.”
That comment earns Dean a slap on his arm, but Dean sees the smile that Cas gives him. Dean can’t resist giving Cas a kiss on the lips. What was meant to be a small peck turns into a bit more of a makeout session as Dean revels in his boyfriend’s heat, the trail of his touch and passion and adoration, making Dean feel completely and entirely loved.
“Get a room you two!” Charlie cries out, covering her eyes in a playful gesture. “God, it’s like you’re two horny teenagers that just got together or something.”
Dean and Cas don’t mention that she’s half right, they just pull back and Dean sticks his tongue out at Charlie. Dean gives Cas another quick peck for good measure before hugging Charlie and Cara goodbye. Cas does the same, and they wave goodbye as the girls speed off in their car.
Dean opens the door to the Impala for Cas who gets in and settles, immediately placing his hand in Dean’s when Dean sits down in the car himself.
“Now what?” Cas asks as Dean starts to stroke his thumb over the back of Cas’s hand.
“Well, you work in your own time as an artist, right?” Dean asks. Cas nods, seeming confused why Dean is asking because he knows this information. “Alright. And I just quit work because you know I hated it anyways. I’ve saved up enough to take off a few weeks without damaging Sam’s college fund, so I thought we could take a road trip.”
“And after that?” Cas asks, seeming to just accept this road trip idea. Or maybe he’s just playing along to see what the end game is.
“After that, I come to live near you. You’re close to Sammy’s college in California anyways, and I could find some crap job until I’m able to open my own auto repair shop to fix up vintage cars. It’s always been my dream, so why the hell not? As long as I’m near you, I’m good.”
“Live with me,” Cas says as if it’s no big deal.
“Cas, we’ve only been together for, like, twenty-four hours officially,” Dean reasons, even if he really wants to move in with Cas.
“And I’ve been in love with you for years. Since the first year of LARP-ing,” Cas says simply.
“Cas, that was...that was ten years ago.”
“Yes.”
“I...wow. Sure I thought you were hot, but I didn’t realize it was more than just a fleeting crush until the third year of LARP-ing. And I guess that was when I accepted that I’m bi.”
“That’s okay, Dean. We’ve both loved each other for at least seven, eight-ish years, and I don’t see myself with anyone else. So, live with me. It’s cheaper, and we can catch up faster for the many years of sex lost.”
“Jesus, Cas! That’s not the only reason to move in together!” Dean exclaims, the smirk Cas wears showing that he’s joking. Whatever he’s going to say next is a joke, too.
“Oh, yeah? I can’t think of anything else.”
Dean smiles at Cas and decides a serious answer would be the best approach, just to make sure everything is clear, tired of keeping silent about what he really wants. “I want to finally be able to hold you every night and wake up with you every morning. I want to make you breakfast in bed, and I want to hear about every detail of your day in person. I want to be part of your day every day because I love you, Cas, and I’ve wanted to hold you and be with you for so long. That’s why I would move in. Because I love you and want you. The sex is just an added bonus.”
Cas seems to be a bit choked up at Dean’s confession, hugging Dean close and burying his face in Dean’s neck.
“So, move in with me,” Cas whispers.
And because Dean is on a high and he loves Cas and could never deny him anything, Dean finds himself saying, “Okay.”