Chapter Text
Reon has come to realize a lot of things since moving to Tokyo. About himself, about Gyro, about other people. But one of them is much more unfortunate than the others.
Namely, the fact that he is painfully in love with Miyuki Sakaigawa.
It wasn’t anything he had ever considered back when they were in Sapporo. After all, they spent less time together in general. But now that they were living together, it was impossible to deny the warmth in his chest Reon felt from merely being around him. Or the comfort he got from hearing Miyuki’s voice, or the way his heart jumped into his throat when their hands touched.
Of course, it’s stupid of him. He has no chance, which he’s been aware of since the beginning.
Miyuki is… he’s in an entirely different league from Reon. He’s good-natured, and attractive, and can charm nearly anyone. Especially the girls that tend to hang off his arm, giggling at whatever flowery words he’s able to spout out. The thought of him liking guys, let alone Reon… it’s laughable.
So he does what he can to put up with it. He spends more time alone, shut up in his room. Reading, practicing guitar, doing homework… and he stops talking to Miyuki as much. Anything he can do to crush the lovesick feeling in his chest, he does.
He just… can’t ruin everything he’s built up with a silly crush. He can’t drag Gyro down, not because of something like this. Not because he can’t handle inevitable rejection.
Even when the stress builds up and makes his stomach churn, he ignores it. It’s easier that way. Besides, heartbreak is inevitable in life.
All he has to do is tell himself that. Until it feels real.
-
It’s on a Friday morning that he wakes up to a pounding headache. Which isn’t a total surprise. He had pulled a couple all-nighters in the past few days to cram for a test. The pain is bad enough to make him sway if he stands up too fast, but he heads off to classes like normal. After all, he’s no stranger to migraines.
He’s out of painkillers. Just his luck.
The storm starts midway through the day, pounding on the roof of the university building. Of course, Reon has always liked stormy weather. It’s better than the cold, after all. But… this is different from the regular pattering of rain. This is a downpour. His headache only gets worse.
When his classes end, he gathers up his belongings and heads for the entryway. As his hand touches the door, though, he realizes the issue rather abruptly.
…Shit, did I forget my umbrella…?
Normally, he carries one on him at all times. Just to be careful. But… maybe he forgot to grab it in the midst of one of his migraine-induced dizzy spells…?
“Oh…? Reon-kun?”
A familiar voice snaps him out of his thoughts.
“M-Miyuki-san…?!”
Miyuki smiles at him as he turns around, a black umbrella in his hands. His long, blond hair is tied back into a low ponytail, and his eyes sparkle with warmth as they always do.
Uuuuuugghhhh why does he have to be so pretty…
“What, um… what are you doing here?”
“Going back to the sharehouse…?” Miyuki replies quizzically.
“Your classes are over too, right? Do you need to share my umbrella?”
He does. It was stupid of him to forget his own, and it would be stupider to walk back without one. And he desperately wants to take a nap, or just lie down for a bit.
So…
“I’m fine.”
It slips out before he realizes he’s saying it.
“Are you sure?”
Say no. Just say no. Reon, you are not dumb enough to walk home in a storm like this—I swear to god.
The words get stuck in his throat.
“Y-Yeah. I still… need to talk to one of my professors… I’m fine, so go on ahead without me.”
Miyuki frowns at him for a moment. But that’s all it is—a moment. Looking somewhat hesitant, he pushes open the door and opens his umbrella.
For some reason, Reon feels so much colder all of a sudden.
“Get home safe.”
The moment Miyuki’s out of sight, Reon crouches down to bury his head in his knees and lets out a miserable groan. Outside, he can hear thunder rumbling.
“I’m such an idiot…”
-
As much as Reon wishes he could avoid the storm completely, three straight hours of trying to wait it out do nothing. It’s just as bad, if not worse than when it started. When he checks his phone, a warning notification pops up. For a typhoon. Because of course there is. And, as the time is rapidly approaching five PM on a Friday, there’s no chance of asking around to see if someone has a spare umbrella. Hell, there’s hardly anyone still on campus at all.
It would make perfect sense for him to just text someone to bring him an umbrella. Or try and get a taxi, considering how numb his entire body feels. But Reon is nothing if not stubborn.
So, like the idiot he is, he takes his chances and steps out into the pouring rain. It doesn’t even take ten minutes before he’s soaked to the bone.
Somehow, it feels better than damaging his pride.
The walk home takes twice as long as it normally would. Throughout it all, he ignores the buzzing of his phone in his pocket. After all, it’s almost definitely Miyuki (or Kenta, but he’d bet more on the former). It only really occurs to him walking through the rain was, in fact, a horrible idea once he’s started shivering, goosebumps scattering across his skin. Another couple minutes and his teeth are chattering too.
The pain in his head grows even more, nausea pooling into his stomach.
He very nearly cries in relief when the sharehouse is finally within sight (but he definitely doesn’t!). For one, he’s freezing. And so exhausted he could collapse on the spot. He thinks his nose is running as well, from the sniffling that’s started. So he doesn’t hesitate to slam the door shut behind him the moment he’s inside.
…Except three out of his four roommates are currently seated in the living room, within clear view of the entryway. Staring at him, as the water begins to form a small puddle underneath him.
“Ryo,” Kenta says immediately. “Go get a couple towels.”
“Got it~” Ryo chirps, exiting to the hallway, leaving both Miyuki and Kenta alone with Reon. Suddenly, he feels like a child about to be punished by his parents.
“Um,” he says. “I, uh… forgot my umbrella.”
The words feel heavy in his mouth, slurring just slightly at the ends.
That probably isn’t good.
Kenta just sighs. “Yes, I assumed. You could have called one of us, you know.”
Numbly, he turns his gaze to his floor and wrings his hands together. They feel clammy. If he wasn’t shivering already, he’d be able to feel the cold sweat forming on his face.
It’s just stress, he tells himself.
He doesn’t know if he believes it anymore.
“Reon-kun,” says a calmer voice. When he looks up to meet Miyuki’s eyes, a soft towel is placed on top of his head.
“We’re not mad. Only worried. You should take a shower and just go to bed.”
Despite himself, he feels heat building up on his cheeks.
“…That was my plan,” he mutters, walking past Miyuki and snatching the towels Ryo holds out to him.
It’s only once the warm water is running down his body that he realizes the clammy feeling in his hands isn’t going away.
-
Reon doesn’t really sleep that night. By the time his alarm is buzzing, his headache is back with a vengeance. And that’s the least of his concerns.
A cough has joined his symptoms, along with the standard sore throat and shortness of breath.
It hurts to get up and out of bed, to try and force himself to get dressed. In the end, he gives up, staggering from his bedroom to the kitchen in only pajamas as his muscles scream in protest. Just a glass of water, that’s all he needs.
He fully deserves the startled looks he gets when he stumbles out of the hallway, nearly losing his footing more than twice. Yet again, though, his stubbornness kicks in before his common sense.
“Morning,” he tries to say. Instantly, he's seized by a coughing fit. Every single cough hurts, ripping it’s way out of his throat until he’s practically doubled over in pain. It’s only a second later that a hand brushes against his forehead.
“You’re burning up.” Kenta observes.
“He looks like a stray breeze could knock him over,” Miyuki comments dryly. “I think it’s natural he’d have a fever.”
“I’m fine,” he offers, voice dry and cracked, and wilts when both of them narrow their eyes at him.
Swallowing tightly, he looks away and down at his feet. He can vaguely make out the two talking about medicine, but his ears have begun to ring, his hearing fluctuating, and his vision is fading in and out.
It’s not until his legs give out beneath him that he fully comprehends the reality of the situation. Or, well, how sick he really is.
When the world blurs back into view, there are two things he instantly realizes.
The first is that he’s being carried. More like cradled, actually. There’s a hand supporting his back, and another supporting his legs.
The second, and probably much more important, is that there’s suddenly a very twisted feeling in his stomach. An awful, churning, feeling and his mouth is…
Fuck.
Immediately, he thrashes. The person carrying him, which he now recognizes as Miyuki, makes a surprised noise. As embarrassed as he wants to feel, he doesn’t have time.
“Let go,” he rasps in a half cough. “L-Let go, I’m gonna-”
His heart jumps into his throat when instead of being let down, Miyuki sharply turns with Reon still in his arms. He wants to yell, but the words in his throat are mangled and the uncomfortable amount of saliva pooling into his mouth is sickening. So he squeezes his eyes shut and clasps his hands over his mouth.
But to his surprise, in an instant they’re in the bathroom and he’s in front of the toilet.
He doesn’t have time to thank Miyuki before he’s retching, hands clinging to the ceramic until his knuckles turn white.
…It hurts…
He hates throwing up. He hates it more than anything, the feeling of it enough to bring him to bitter, pained tears.
A drop of sweat rolls down his forehead, and his stomach lurches again, even as he spits up nothing but bile. When it’s finally over, he leans over to press down the handle with a shaky hand.
It takes him a moment to realize there’s a warm hand rubbing circles in his back soothingly.
It takes him another moment to realize that he likes it.
It would be so much easier if he could push that hand away, get rid of the feelings before they fully set in. Instead, he can only tremble as Miyuki encourages him gently to take deep breaths. It’s so unfair. Unfair that despite it all, Miyuki never fails to treat him kindly. Unfair that Reon can’t shake off his affection for him no matter what.
Slowly, his trembling makes way into shivering. At least… he thinks he’s shivering. There’s sweat dripping down his face, and waves of heat passing through his body, but he’s shuddering as though he’s freezing.
“…I wanna sleep,” his voice cracks out in a whine, and Miyuki hums sympathetically.
“Yeah, I know. Let’s get you back to bed, alright?”
Reon closes his eyes.
It’s okay, right…? For… just a little while.
Without a word, he sags backwards in exhaustion. It’s only as he’s drifting off, mind foggy and unaware, that he feels himself being lifted up off the floor again, Miyuki’s voice murmuring “you’ll be fine,” in his ears.
He can't remember the last time he felt so safe, so calm.
…It’s a nice change.
-
Time passes in a blur after that. It’s a haze of waking up and passing out, and twisting and turning in his sleep until the blankets are tangled around him uncomfortably. Occasionally, he can hear voices talking somewhere nearby, but they’re distorted and blurred to the point of unrecognition.
Once or twice, in a half-awake state, he feels someone supporting him upwards to give him water. When it dribbles down his chin, it’s wiped away with a cloth, something he has a distinct feeling he should be embarrassed about.
But for the most part, he spends what feels like an eternity slipping in and out of sleep.
That is, until he regains some semblance of consciousness. And it’s clear that his condition is improving, because this time the voices are recognizable.
“Are you sure about this…?”
Miyuki-san.
“I’m surprised you seem so hesitant,” a second voice replies, the sharper tone easily registering as Kenta. “You’re easily the most motherly out of everyone.”
“Is that an insult?” Miyuki huffs out. “I’m not worried about my abilities, you know. I’m worried about how Reon-kun is going to end up reacting to this.”
Reacting to…?
“To what? That you’re going to be responsible for taking care of him?”
Reon feels a chill run over him.
What.
What?!
A million thoughts flood his head at once, questions and protests and an impending sense of doom, but he can’t act on any of them because Miyuki is beginning to talk again. Stomach twisting, he tries to clear his head enough to listen in again.
“...but he’s been avoiding me lately. I don’t… y’know. Want to make him uncomfortable.”
“Avoiding you? Did you do something?”
Internally, Reon winces at the accusatory tone Kenta’s voice has taken on. He can feel the tension sparking between them, something that always happens before they break into an actual fight.
“Tch. Are you trying to imply something?”
There it is. Miyuki's voice changes in tone, a clear hostility that can’t easily be fixed. He has to make a move now, lest they fly into an argument.
With a loud groan, Reon rolls onto his side towards them and opens his eyes weakly. It takes a moment for the world to fade into view, but squinting helps the unrecognizable blurs fade into people.
“Please… don’t fight in my room…”
It hurts to talk, and his throat feels rough and grated. Despite it though, he fixes the two with a glare. It probably doesn’t do much, considering he’s curled up sick in bed with both of them hovering over him, but it’s the best he can do. Thankfully, it seems to do the trick.
“My apologies. I didn’t realize you were awake,” Kenta says smoothly. “I’ll leave the rest up to you, Miyuki.”
Throwing one last meaningful glance at the blond, Kenta walks out of the room, leaving the two of them alone together. Reon can only huff out a single breath before Miyuki sighs, plopping down onto the bed next to him.
“How’re you feeling?”
“…Shitty.”
“Ha… Yeah, I guess that’s fair. Here, let me see…”
Reon flinches as Miyuki presses a hand to his forehead. His hand is warm and smooth.
I wish… I could hold…
“Mm… well, you’re still feverish. It’s not as bad as when you were out, though.”
Reon frowns. “When I was… huh? How… How long has it been?”
For a brief moment, he starts to panic, the frightening possibility that it’s been days of him sleeping festering in his mind.
“About eight hours or so?” Miyuki shrugs nonchalantly, but his eyes are soft. “You were out like a light, honestly.”
“O-oh.”
Neither of them speak for a moment. Miyuki gazes at him with an unreadable expression, and Reon clears his throat uncomfortably. It’s still sore, and he really wishes he had some water. But before he can break the silence, Miyuki does it for him.
“Can I get you anything? I went out earlier to grab some supplies, cooling packs and the like. You need medicine, anyway.”
Forcing himself to sit up, Reon can’t help but wince as his vision spins. Clutching at his head, he tries to shake it, but hesitates. He may be stubborn, but it would be stupid to still try and push away Miyuki when he can’t even sit up without feeling like he’s moments away from dying. And that’s not the only problem.
“...but he’s been avoiding me lately. I don’t… y’know. Want to make him uncomfortable.”
What can he possibly do to fix that issue?
“Reon-kun?”
…Why would Miyuki even be willing to take care of him?
“Hey, Reon-kun…?”
Don’t think about it. It’s only a temporary set-up. As soon as I’m okay, I can forget it ever happened… and move on. Move on… for real, this time.
The thought makes his chest ache.
With no other option, he falls back onto his pillow and closes his eyes. The pounding in his head fades to a dull ache, which he lets out a breath of relief at.
“Just… just some water. Please. No food… can’t keep it down.”
A hand pats his head, and he opens his eyes. Miyuki smiles down at him, stray golden hairs falling to frame his face.
It’s the same smile he had fallen in love with months ago. The smile that makes him feel like he’s melting.
…It’s the feeling that convinced him he should stop talking to Miyuki in the first place.
“Got it. I’ll be back in a couple minutes, so just sit tight.”
With that, he’s up and out of the room. The moment his footsteps fade into the background, Reon sucks in a breath and smashes his face into the pillow until he can barely breathe.
Calm down. Calm down and get a grip. Fucking… chill out. God. You can’t act like some sort of lovesick puppy.
When his eyes begin to water and his breath begins to rattle in his chest, he pulls the pillow away and stares up at the ceiling.
…Can I really manage this?
It would be so much easier, if he could just bury his feelings once and for all. If he could get his life back, be normal Reon again.
“You’ll be fine.”
“…It’s unfair,” he mumbles, to no one in particular. “Miyuki-san is so unfair.”