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“I’m telling you that there isn’t anything at the end of that map,” Blackbeard said through clenched teeth.
“Then why did they mark it with an X?” Stede said, pointing proudly to the spot on the map. “Because X marks the spot.”
Blackbeard rubbed his hand down his face, “They were trying to convince you it’s a real treasure map. Real treasure they don’t put on a map.”
“Then how would you ever find it again?” Stede smirked at Blackbeard, clearly sure that he had made his point.
Blackbeard rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, “Can we just head back to the ship, please? I’ve had enough of this adventure.”
“But it’s only just getting started!” Stede whined, “And it’s getting dark, we should make camp.”
“Camp?” Blackbeard furrowed his brow, fixing Stede with a questioning stare.
“Yes, Ed!” Stede said, setting down his rucksack. “We’re far too far from the ship to turn back now. Besides, we'd get lost in the woods.”
“But we have your stupid map to guide us back to the ship,” Ed grumbled more to himself than to Stede.
“I can hear you,” Stede said simply, “and that’s not how this map works. Now if you could unpack your bag, we can set up camp.”
“I didn’t bring anything to set up camp,” Ed crossed his arms over his chest, “Because I didn’t think it would take all day for you to realize that that map doesn’t lead ANYWHERE!”
That was the first moment that Stede looked a bit alarmed. He looked between Ed and the dumped-out contents of his rucksack, his gaze flicking wildly between the two when he a smile broke across his face.
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Stede said confidently. “You can share my things.”
“What,” Ed choked, his chest tightening at the thought.
“It’ll be a little…snug,” Stede assured. “But there’s plenty of room for both of us.”
Stede laid out the carefully rolled mat on the ground and snapped the blanket so it spread over the mat with a flourish. He spread his hands as if to demonstrate just how much space there was. He didn’t wait for Ed’s expression to change before he settled himself under the blanket and patted the space next to him, indicating that Ed should join him.
Ed grumbled but took his place next to Stede. They both lay as stiff as plank boards under the small blanket, their bodies pressed in a continuous line from shoulder to ankle to remain covered by the blanket.
“See?” Stede grinned. “Plenty of room.”
“This is stupid.”
–
Hours later with the embers of the fire burning low, a neanderthal and Tudor nobleman stood over the pair, completely unseen. The nobleman held his decapitated head in his hands and was using the length of his arms to crane over the two sleeping men to get a better view.
“Do you suppose they’ve run away together?” Humphrey, the nobleman, asked. “I don’t suppose 200 years has garnered much in the way of acceptance for these two.”
Robin, the neanderthal, peered down at the two men. He and Humphrey had been on an evening walk to see the moon when they stumbled upon the two men. The darker-haired one was spooning the lighter-haired one under an entirely too-small blanket for the pair of them. That’s when Robin spotted it.
“They have map!” he exclaimed as he pointed to a piece of paper under the blond one’s hand. “Looking for treasure.”
“I wonder if they’ll actually find it,” Humphrey said, bringing his head back to rest against his body. “My wife and her conspirators did bury it somewhere near here.”
Robin harumphed and shook his head, standing back up. “Many so close,” Robin said in a bored tone. “Me want to see treasure again. Go see moon until lovers wake up.”
As the two ghosts left, they missed a slight stirring from the lighter-haired man. Something had disturbed him from sleep but he couldn’t put his finger on what. Before he could do much more than lift his head, he saw that the arm of the other man was tossed over his waist. With a brief glance behind him at the other sleeping man he closed his eyes, settled himself back against the other man, and with the smallest of smiles on his lips…drifted back off to sleep.