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Going to California so soon after being taken away from the Nest was as much a challenge as it was a blessing.
Jean wanted to get away, the faster and the furthest possible. Away from the Nest, and the memories and the fear. But he was too tired to run, too hurt to fight.
When he got on the phone with Jeremy Knox, he realized that even with the opportunity to start a new life, probably a safe one, he was so, so tired. He couldn’t stop thinking that it wasn’t worth it, and that he was probably better off dead. The only thing he could do was be propriety, and now he was just running in the arms of a new master.
He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep and never wake up.
Jean should have a sleep on the plane —it was after all a seven-hour flight— but he was too anxious to sleep. Even if he managed to rest at Palmetto State University, his whole body was still excruciating.
He ignored the worried look of the passengers sitting next to him and tried to prepare himself for the longest flight of his life.
He was almost sleeping standing up as he was waiting for his suitcase.
He didn’t leave the Nest with his clothes, and honestly, he did not have that many clothes to start with, but Wymack insisted to buy him new clothes before his departure, saying that he was tired of people arriving at their new coaches with two outfits.
“Eight, Coach.” Had retorted Neil Josten, but the older man ignored him.
The pain was getting worst as he was waiting and Jean regretted refusing the painkillers the Foxes’ nurse, Abby had suggested he take before leaving.
He needed to seat, but also, he needed to find his suitcase quickly so he wouldn’t make his new masters wait. God knows how much Riko hated to wait.
His vision was swimming, but he was used to it, and he managed to find his suitcase and take it out off the trail before heading to the arrival hall.
He definitely wasn’t walking straight, but he also couldn’t do anything about it as he was focusing all his energy on staying conscious.
It didn’t take him too long to find the people he was looking for, they were staring at him with anger in their eyes and as much as Jean was used to it, he couldn’t help but flinch. He was already in agony, and he couldn’t imagine being hurt even more today.
There was a tall man, probably even taller than Jean, with wrinkles around his eyes proving that he was smiling a lot, and a red and gold jersey, that was probably the coach of the team, and next to him a smaller boy, with golden hair and soft brown eyes, that Jean recognized as Jeremy Knox, the Trojans’ captain.
Jean had already played against him during his years with the Ravens.
He walked faster, trying to reduce their anger, or at least not to anger them more.
By the time he managed to reach them, his head was swimming, and he couldn’t ever hear anything anymore, just white noise.
He tried to speak, saying that he was fine, and he even played in worse shape, but his mouth refused to cooperate.
He saw the anger morphing into worry and then shock, before realizing that this was mostly caused by the vision of his legs collapsing under his weight.
The last thing he saw was the glass rooftop of the airport hall and felt a rush of inexplicable relief at the sight of the sky. Then, his eyes rolled in his head, and he lost consciousness.
The first sense he recovered was his hearing, and he could hear two angry voices above him. But he quickly noticed that their anger wasn’t aimed at him.
He could hear fragments of conversation: “Why would them make him travel in that shape?” “Couldn’t they just wait for him to feel better?” this voice was furious, but the other one was a bit calmer: “I don’t know, Jeremy. Maybe they had to take him to safety the quickest possible.”
Jean swallowed back a whimper, knowing very well that Riko hated hearing him moan about his injuries, and opened his eyes slowly.
It took him a few seconds to remember where he was. The airport. He was in Los Angeles, far away from the Nest. Riko was dead. He winced and tried to sit up only to be gently restrained by a hand on his torso.
“Hey, Jean. Are you feeling better?”
Jean took a second before nodding, fighting against nausea. He tried to reassure himself knowing that he will have a twenty-minute ride before arriving at the campus, so he would have time to rest in the car before the inevitable practice with his new partners.
The last sensation he got back was the touch, and he finally noticed that his whole body was burning and that his head was resting on a soft lump that was on Jeremy’s lap.
The coach was speaking with security guards that join them when some travelers saw Jean collapse. Jean realized that many people were looking at him and he flushed under the unneeded attention.
“I’m fine,” he finally whispered, and this time when the tried to sit up again, Jeremy didn’t stop him. The Trojans’ captain handed him a bottle of water and Jean took it with shaky hands before drinking it down in just a few gulps.
“Alright. Jeremy, take his suitcase and bag, would you? I’ll help him to walk. He will be better in his own bed, and I want Jonas to have a look at him.”
Jeremy helped his coach lift Jean onto his feet before taking his backpack and his suitcase. The coach took Jean’s arm and lift it above his own shoulder to help Jean walk toward the car waiting for them outside.
This was embarrassing, and Jean felt ashamed of looking so weak in front of his new masters.
His head was throbbing so badly when they reached the car that he all but collapsed in the backseat and fell asleep in just a few seconds.
He woke up once again to voices whispering next to him: “Should we wake him up, or should we try to carry him to the dorm?”
Before the coach had time to answer, Jean opened his eyes, saving himself from the embarrassment of getting carried like a child.
“I can walk on my own,” he rasped. He still let them help him get up, and Jeremy took his backpack and suitcase once again without even asking Jean about them. Jean didn’t complain, he did not have the energy to carry them, and was grateful he didn’t need to ask for help.
Jeremy guided him into the building and the younger boy couldn’t help but sighed in relief when he noticed that the inside was spacious and enlightened by many windows. He couldn’t stand living in the dark anymore.
Jeremy led Jean to the elevator instead of the stairs, but he didn’t complain. He didn’t know how many floors he had to climb, and he wanted to keep his strength for practice.
Jeremy smiled at him widely as he pressed the button “3” of the elevator.
“The boys are on floor 3, and the girls' are on floor 2. We would have preferred to all be together, but we’re too much to stay on the same floor. We all have roommates. Well, one roommate, these are bedrooms for two. I’m going to be my roommate since George just graduated. I hope you’re fine with that. If not, then I can still ask Coach to make you change rooms.”
Jean nodded slowly. He didn’t care. He knew how to endure anything, or at least he would try to. He just hoped that Jeremy wouldn’t be as cruel as Riko, but he doubted anyone could be worse than Riko.
The team captain led him to room 316. He opened the door and discovered a nice and cozy room. There was a TV and a couch near the entrance, a small kitchenette on the left, and two single beds on the back, with two small desks and two closets.
“This isn’t that big, but it’s bigger than it looks,” explained Jeremy, as he brought Jean’s suitcase next to the free bed. We can put a sheet or something between the two parts of the bedroom if you want more privacy.
Jean didn’t answer and looked at the other bed, noticing the few stuffed animals against the wall and the cozy sweater waiting on the bed. This room wasn’t just a room, Jeremy made it a home for himself.
“Alright Jean, I’m thinking you’ll have time to unpack later, but I really want you to rest now. I’m quite worried about you after that you just collapsed at the airport. I’m gonna ask Jonas —he’s our nurse—, to check on you. Sounds good?”
Jean looked at him suspiciously: “Fine, but at what time is the practice today? I don’t want to be late for practice.”
The look Jeremy gave him was so shocked and heartbroken that Jean felt like he said something wrong. He was about to apologize when Jeremy finally talked.
“Jean. You’re hurt. You literally fainted into our arms when you arrived. I don’t even know how the hell you’re still standing, and you want to practice?”
“But—
“No, Jean. You’re gonna rest. I will wake you up for dinner, and I don’t want you in the Court until at least all of these bruises have faded. Am I clear?”
Jean nodded. He didn’t want to risk disappointing him and angering him any further. He wasn’t ready to endure another beating today.
He did exactly as his new captain asked and took off his shoes before curling up into the bed. He should have been too scared to sleep: he usually had trouble sleeping in the Nest, always scared that Riko would send other boys in his bed, but he was so tired that in just a few minutes, he was out cold.
Whenever he would sleep, he would have nightmares. Every morning he was waking up bathed in sweat, gasping for air, and plagued by memories of water-boarding, or other tortures Riko did to him daily.
Today was no exception and he almost yelled as he felt a hand on his shoulder shaking him. He jolted awake and regret it immediately when his body screamed in protest.
"Woah! It’s okay, Jean. You’re okay, don’t move too much.”
He didn’t know that person and it did not calm him down. It was a man with tanned skin and dark curly hair he had soft eyes and a friendly face.
“I’m Jonas, the team’s nurse. James —He’s your coach, by the way— called me to check on you.”
“I’m sorry. Just had nightmares.”
Jonas hummed as he opened the bag he had next to him: “Do you have nightmares often?”
“Yes,” Jean answered shortly.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
Jonas didn’t insist and peeled off the bandage on Jean’s cheek to check on his stitches. He seemed rather satisfied with the way it was healing and covered them up again with a clean bandage. Then he asked a few questions about how his broken nose was healing before taking care of Jean’s arms, once again replacing the bandages with new ones.
However, when he asked Jean if he could take his shirt off so he could check on the injuries on his torso and back, Jean refused, assuring him that he was fine.
“Alright, but if you feel any pain, feel free to call me so I can check on them.”
Jean nodded but knowing very well he would not call him.
“Perfect,” Jonas’s smile was wide and warm. “I brought you some dinner since Jeremy told me that you were exhausted, I didn’t want you to have to leave to get some food. I’ll also let you some painkillers that you can take if the pain is preventing you to sleep.”
“Thank you,” simply said Jean.
Jonas smiled at him again before leaving him, letting him his phone number with the painkillers and his dinner.
Jean ate slowly, it was a bit hard with how much his jaw was hurting but he managed to finish his plate before swallowing the painkillers and finally laid back and fell asleep.
Jean woke up once again during the night, feeling someone shaking his shoulder. He gasped and once again tried to sit up but fell back on his bed when his whole body started to burn in protest. “Wh—
“Jean, please, wake up. You were having a nightmare.” It was Jeremy’s voice, and he sounded very worried.
Jean sighed, he couldn’t do anything about it, every moment he was spending asleep was making his traumatized brain create nightmares.
“I’m sorry I woke you up. If I’m preventing you from sleeping, I should go somewhere else.”
Jeremy shook his head immediately: “No… No, Jean, it’s fine. I wasn’t sleeping yet. I’m just worried about you. Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“Look, I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. But you also need to know that we’re ready to listen if you need us to. You’re not alone anymore Jean. You have a team that is here for you and willing to help you.”
Jean didn’t know what to say. He wanted to believe it, but the truth is that he couldn’t. He couldn’t think that Jeremy was honest and really wanted to help him, but also, how could he help him? Jean was a broken thing, and broken things cannot be fixed.
He did nod to avoid getting Jeremy angry but didn’t speak and turned his back to Jeremy to try and go back to sleep.
He could hear his roommate going back into his bed and his breathing getting slower as he was falling back asleep in a few minutes. He wished he could be the same, but he was struggling to fall asleep, even exhausted as he was. He was scared of nightmares; he was scared of Jeremy bringing his teammates into Jean’s bed to rape like Riko used to.
He kept his eyes open, fixing the digital clock until he couldn’t resist to sleep anymore. It was 4:00 AM, but no one tried anything, and Jean could almost believe that he was safe. At least for tonight.