Work Text:
Kallus is cold. Zeb can see it in every little shivers that run through him, every layers that he tries to add to his clothes, in the way he sometimes seems to wrap on himself when he thinks no one is looking at him. Kallus is a self-conscious man after all, always painfully aware of eyes that could lay judgment on him.
Of course this is kind of surprising, seeing how hot it can be on Yavin IV. Zeb himself can be driven crasy by this furnace of a moon, when the humidity is at its hightest on afternoons or after a downpour. It could be a human thing, but Kanan, Sabine and Ezra seem to share his own annoyance with the local weather so it is more likely a Kallus thing.
Zeb would love to help him. To warm him. And if he is honest, it would be by wrapping himself around the human and cuddling with him until he can feel his muscles relaxe and his shivers fade out. How lovely it would be to feel the smaller man in his arms, to smell him and know he can give him comfort. Zeb is in love with Alexsandr and he is not foul enough to deny it.
The heart of the question is of course why. Why is he so cold ? Zeb had mused about it, wondering, looking for answers. Is he sick ? Is it because Kallus is way too thin and doesn’t eat enough ? Is is because he is so tired all the time ? Or is it the trauma ? Kanan once explained to Zeb how such things could affect so many aspects of life. At the time, he was trying to make Zeb understand he was far from healed from his past as he though he was, but now it makes him wonder how much Kallus would benefict from a mind healer. It's not like his life is devoid of traumatic experiences, Bahryn alone enough to fuel nighmares for a life time.
Overall, Kallus doesn’t take care of himself and it drives Zeb crasy. He had tried to make Kallus understand how important it is to take time for himself, how important he is. It never lead to anything. Kallus mostly ignored his concerns, rarely humoured him and on one memorable occasion it even ended up in a row, the two of them yelling awfull things, not meaning a word of it but still hurting each other. After that, Kallus had avoid him for a week and Zeb had been miserable.
Zeb had then taken to a less direct approach. Now he leaves foods at Kallus desk when he is taking a caff break. He ‘’borrowed’’ a heater from a imperial facility while on a mission with the ghost and ‘’forgot’’ it in Kallus room. Warm beverages (not caff ! He has enough of it already) are brough to his desk and they drink them together, chatting about little nothings that make Zeb's day. A new jacket find its way to kallus meager possessions (and when Zeb sees him wearing it for the first time, he feels his stomach swoop). Sometimes, he dares to put an arm around the human’s shoulders and the way he leans into the embrace brings a soft smile to his lips.
Of course Kallus is not stupid and he knows what Zeb is doing. But as long as he doesn’t bring it out in the open, Zeb won’t either. So they are at this stalemate, in the unsaid, where care can be shown, not discussed. And Zeb feels so much but doesn’t dare open up about it, too scare of how Kallus would react. It’s not like the human doesn’t like him. He knows he is his best friend and he sometimes can see a light in his eyes, a gentle smile, and they seem to be just for him. And in those moments he dares hope.
But in the meanwhile, he will continue as it is, in this silent compromise, warming Kallus a gesture at a time.
