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Quiet afternoons were a rarity in the palace. With the constant comings and goings of diplomats, family, friends, and assassins, there was always something giving Zuko a headache. But despite the disaster of his latest meeting with the Earth Kingdom, Zuko allowed himself the peace of drinking his afternoon tea while going through his never ending pile of letters and documents that needed signing. Reading them made him want to tear his eyes out and as he scanned the words, his mind wandered.
For once, he didn't think of Mai. Instead, thoughts of his little sister distracted him. She'd had an episode the night before. Something that hadn't happened in almost three months now. She was improving with leaps and bounds, even repairing her relationship with their mother.
Sighing, Zuko set the letter down. He should go find her, talk to her, but honestly he didn't know where she was. For all her bluster in the meetings, Azula liked to hide. In the secret tunnels of the palace, under tables, in her room, anywhere where it was dark and quiet. It wasn't always to scare people either, which used to be a favorite past time of hers.
Down the hall, the clock chimed. It was two in the afternoon. Groaning, Zuko stood and stretched. He'd go look for Azula for a little while, then come back to his letters.
He started in her room where Redi, Azula's handmaid, was changing the sheets. He cleared his throat, trying not to scare her, but she jumped anyway.
"Oh! Fire Lord Zuko! I'm sorry, I didn't see you-" She hastily bowed, strands of her hair falling from her topknot. Zuko smiled at her, hoping she'd relax. Though she never seemed too, with Azula under her care.
"Please, just Zuko." He told her, reaching out to help with the sheets. "I'm not here to punish you." Redi laughed, but he got the feeling she wasn't amused.
"I am glad." She wrung her hands after tucking in the sheet. "It's not like the Princess had her first breakdown in over three months on my day off." Her nervous chuckle jerked all over the place. She sat down heavily on the comforter, head in her hands. "She isn't acting like herself, I don't know what happened." Zuko pursed his lips and sat down beside her. He didn't really know what to say.
"This is not your fault." He settled on that. "Azula is... stubborn and fond of keeping everyone in the dark." Her head jerked around, her silvery eyes glistening with tears.
"This time was different. It seemed so sudden. Usually I can see when she's stressed, she says certain things, does others, and hides more. But the princess has never-" She paused, eying Zuko for a moment. Trying not to squint too much, Zuko stared back.
"If it's important to her health, I should know." Gentle, he told himself, like dealing with Ty Lee. "Especially if she wouldn't want me to know." The handmaid shook her head slowly.
"Forgive me, Fire- Zuko. I'm not sure you would want to know." She told him, her pale cheeks turning pink. "But you are right, as always." At that Zuko laughed.
"For someone who spends most of your time with my sister, I cannot believe you think that." Shaking his head fondly, Zuko smiled at the now very flustered maid. "Be honest, please. I don't need flattery." Her cheeks were red now. She coughed to hide her blush.
"She took one of the kitchen staff to her bed two nights ago. I summoned her myself." Her voice dropped to a whisper, as if Azula was listening in the walls. Which, Zuko admitted, was a genuine possibility. "They spent the night together, the omega left just as I was entering her rooms to prepare her clothes for the day." Zuko felt his own cheeks grow hot.
"Um, you were right. I didn't really want to know that." He muttered, standing so he could pace. Three steps to the dresser, four to the window. Back again to the dresser, before looking up at the maid. "Did she seem off after that? My sister is not usually of the habit of, well, you know. Unless she has been recently? Nevermind, I don't want to know." He paused in the room, thinking of the ball and Azula's teary exit. "Out of curiosity, has she expressed romantic interest in this particular omega before?" Shaking her head, Redi stood and walked to Azula's desk.
"None that I am aware of. The princess and I are not friends, not really, but she tells me enough that I believe I would know if she were out courting." She opened the middle drawer beneath the writing surface and reached inside, springing a secret drawer from there. "The only omega I have seen her interested in is one of the Kyoshi Warriors, Ty Lee, but that is more from deduction of who she watches from the window with a dreamy smile than her trust." Redi stooped to gather papers from the desk. Four short scrolls she handed him. "These are private, I would read them here if you choose too, but I know they are addressed to Ty Lee." Zuko took them, staring dumbly down at the four rolls of parchment. "I should finish her laundry and check on the progress of the new mirror." She bowed to him. "Good day."
"Good day," He muttered, his attention fixed on the letters in his hand. That's what they were, with Ty Lee's name written at the top of each one, with the date next to it, all written in Azula's impeccable handwriting, except for one, dated yesterday. He sat down at her desk and unrolled the first one.
"Dear Ty Lee," He murmured, reading aloud to the empty room. "So many things have changed since I last saw you..."
Well. This was very interesting. Very interesting indeed. The second letter followed the first with a much more melancholy tone. Azula's longing for Ty Lee he knew, honestly, everyone but Ty Lee probably knew, but seeing it, written in her own hand was... sad. Part of him wished she'd come to him about her feelings, but recently she'd been the one giving him advice, not the other way around. There was no way she would find him competent enough to discuss courtship with.
He didn't return the letters, instead tucking them into the handy inner pocket of his robe, before leaving the room. Seeing two Kyoshi Warriors in the hall, he paused, thinking perhaps one of them was Ty Lee. Neither of them were. Instead, it was Youshou, the only other alpha in the pack other than Suki, and Ying, one of the omegas. Youshou faced him head on, as respectfully of his alpha status as could be expected, Ying inclined her head, staring at the ground between them.
"Fire Lord Zuko," Youshou bowed before cocking her head at him. "Can we help you?"
"Actually, yes." Zuko half smiled at her, his mind still caught up in those letters. "Do you know where Ty Lee is? I wonder if she could help us find my sister." The way both girls stiffened at the mention of Azula made him wonder if Azula's latest interpretation of Ty Lee's affections as nonexistent were true. Youshou's chi curled not quite threateningly, but enough that he knew she would not betray her pack's omegas. Though, Ying looked up at him, her soft green eyes caught between her alpha and The Alpha of the palace.
"She's sleeping," Youshou finally answered, though her eyes bored into his. "I doubt she could be of much help." Ying made a noise in the back of her throat, almost a whine. Youshou's hand reached out to steady her.
"She is probably awake now," Wringing her hands, Ying looked up at Youshou. "I can go ask if she wants to help." Youshou nodded very hesitantly, but allowed the omega to scurry off to the wing the Warriors claimed as their own.
Zuko followed her, running a few steps to catch up. Ying was flighty, shy, in a way that most omegas were not. In fact, he only new her name because a few weeks back, he'd seen her knock Ty Lee flat while sparring. That was not something just anyone could do. Even Azula had had a hard time beating Ty Lee- always claiming it didn't count because Ty Lee wasn't a bender- and Azula was a prodigy at all things martial arts.
Waiting in the foyer while Ying checked on Ty Lee was awkward. The stares of the few girls who were both off duty and awake almost made him shift his weight and whimper. He didn't. He could hear Azula in his head saying "Don't be a fool, stand up!" Like she had a million times over in meetings. Agni it annoyed her that he was The Alpha when she was clearly more naturally dominant than he was. Thankfully, he was saved from self deprecating by Ying pushing through the doors, Ty Lee in tow.
His old friend looked tired, as if she'd woken rather recently, but more... scared than anything. Her scent was off too. Trying not to sniff too obviously, he spoke, hoping she'd understand.
"Sorry if I'm ruining your restful morning-"
"You aren't. I heard Azula's missing." Ty Lee swallowed. Ying grabbed her arm in support. So touchy, omegas. "If you think she's still in the palace I might be able to help. If not... then I don't know."
Sighing in relief, Zuko nodded. "Nobody saw her leave, and if she did, she doesn't have anywhere to go. Can you show me some of the passages she used to hide in? When she was little and really upset?" Ying made that noise again, making Ty Lee look down at her. When no further response came, Ty Lee nodded.
"Let me change my clothes into something I can get dirty in. You should do the same, I don't know when the tunnels were last cleaned."
After spending the night wailing, Azula had finally fallen asleep. Curled in a dusty ball in the corner of some passage, she shivered. The stone halls were not drafty, often more hot than cold when the volcano stirred, but still the shudders didn't cease. Alone and lonely, tired but not resting, sleeping but not dreaming, she waited. For what, that was beyond her now. At least she was safe here. There were no mirrors, no nosy maids, no brothers to bother her.
Yet still her skin crawled and she wanted nothing more than to tear it off with her unfortunately dull nails. Her fire wouldn't come to burn it, so instead she twitched and itched ruthlessly and without any result. Though her mind was quiet now, the thoughts still plagued her, making her head pound. Or maybe that was hangover. Time was irrelevant here. There was no sun, no obnoxious bells tolling, ringing, banging, in her head. Just darkness and vague warmth and the shivers.
When she woke for real from the fever dreams and half consciousness, she didn't know where she was. Lost, no, but unsure of what tunnel she'd run to in her drunken, half-mad attempt to escape. A heavy sigh followed that thought. Her headache pounded in her temples. It was hard to think through that. Just a little. But she could bend, and let a little fireball form in her palm so she could see.
A tunnel, like all the others. As she looked closer though, she saw the walls had pictures drawn on them. Creeping closer, Azula saw they were hand painted and obviously a child's work. Her own work.
There was the imitation of her crown, fire, and a lily Ty Lee had forced her to draw. Just to the right, Mai's crude knives were painted over a particularly rough patch of stone. And there, Ty Lee's hearts, flowers, and rainbows, spread across a good portion of the wall.
They must have been seven at most, crawling through tunnels at Azula's command so they could leave their marks like a lecture from Lo and Li had described the Sun Warriors doing. To her surprise, she remembered the moment so clearly she could almost see Ty Lee's hands, covered with multicolored paints, grabbing onto her new robes, and pulling her down the hall to see what she'd drawn.
"Look, 'Zula! This one is you- see, it has all your favorite colors, and it's on fire!" She'd told a much younger, less careful Azula, pointing to one messy heart. Azula traced the lines of blue in the middle, and the orange and yellow fire that surrounded the red outline. "And this one is Mai's, because it's black and purple, super gloomy, but it has a nice pink shine to it because she's secretly nice."
"Hey!" Mai had said then, looking at them reproachfully. Ty Lee had just giggled and moved on, pointing to the heart right next to Azula's.
"And this one is me." She'd said, so matter of factly. "It's right next to yours because we're best friends and I would never be farther than this!"
Azula blinked and the memory faded to its usual blur. She traced the pink heart with one finger, her heart stabbing with pain. A tear slid down her cheek before she crumpled to the ground, one hand still over the heart.
"I'm sorry." She sobbed, her breaths heaving out of her so violently she thought she might be sick. "I was so stupid!" Her eyes shut against the torrent of tears and her fire went out as she wrapped an arm around herself. Her short, dull nails dug into the stone as best they could and she wished it hurt.
"Azula?" A voice, a familiar voice called to her.
"Go away!" Azula sobbed. This was the last thing she needed. More hallucinations. And without her reflection to trigger them. "Leave me alone! I don't want you here, you're not real!" How she hated this feeling. Knowing they weren't there, knowing they lied, knowing everything she yearned for was just out of reach, just about killed her. The shivers came back, all of her muscles twitching.
Then a hand was on her shoulder, chasing away all the tenseness. A familiar, sweet smell- one that reminded her of the best things in life- enveloped her as arms tightened into an embrace.
"I promise I'm real." The voice murmured, all of her omega charm poured into those words. "Let me hold you." So Azula stopped what little struggle she'd been mustering up.
Once there, it did not take long for the sobs to subside and then she shivers to slip away, leaving her limp and exhausted. Her ear was tucked on top of a breast, a very soft breast, and Ty Lee's heartbeat soothed her beyond words or touches.
This was what she wanted, what she'd so badly needed last night. Home had found her in the dark.
Truthfully, Ty Lee had no idea if holding Azula would help. She'd dealt with enough of Hua's panic attacks to know that it could help if that was what Azula was fighting against. But when she did take Azula into her arms, after hearing that desperate cry "You're not real!" All she wanted to do was prove that she was real and she was there. So, she pressed Azula's head to her chest and tangled a hand in her hair while the other stroked up and down her back. Zuko was behind her somewhere, he'd help carry his sister out of this dusty tunnel when she'd calmed down.
Time had always seemed weird in these tunnels. Never quite lining up with exactly how long they'd been wandering or playing. But Ty Lee did know that Azula calmed very quickly and allowed herself to be swept into her brother's arms with naught but a whimper at the loss of Ty Lee's warmth. Ty Lee followed the siblings, Zuko knew the way since Azula hadn't actually run that far, and hugged herself.
The Princess had always been warm, warm enough that every touch either burned or chased away the cold like a hot cup of tea on a cold, rainy day. Now, Ty Lee felt cold all over. As if a whole part of herself had detached and was being carried away, but she knew that couldn't be true. She and Azula were not mates. They weren't even friends anymore. Even so, watching Zuko carry Azula away to the healer's wing, Ty Lee wondered how long she could keep this up. If her heart tugged her to follow, if her aura kept wavering so uncertainly, if Azula was so warm, how could she stay away?
After all, Azula had come for her when she was upset and Ty Lee had done the same. Azula had asked her to dance and Ty Lee had said yes. Azula had told her, with longing in her eyes, through that cheesy song Ty Lee so loved: "You know I still love you, though we touched and went our separate ways." To which Ty Lee's heart said something very similar. Too similar for her liking.
Too similar for it to be a lie.