Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Beginning

Sascha hated everything about the situation she was in. Mostly, because none of it made any sense. Much less the behaviour of the… beings around her. Sure she could feel the burn in her throat too. But ever since she had realised that even on the 18th day of going without water she was actually not dying, she didn’t understand the frantic need to kill and drink these people every now and again. Especially after she had noticed how many of the others were more often than not losing a limb in the fight for a bite. 

No. She’d have to make do without this. Though, she did feel getting over all weaker, less energised. 

She was distracted most of the time anyways. She needed a way out of this situation. She had been in this god forsaken ruin of a stone building for a little more than half a year now. The guy who brought her kept bringing others. The screams of their agony being replaced by the next heap of victims. 

Riley. A name that felt like bile to her. He made them fight each other. If not, you’d be punished by not getting to „feed“ as they called it. Sascha let out a dry breath at the thought. What a wonderful incentive. No, that wouldn’t be getting her into bashing others’ faces in. Though, she would like nothing more than to bite his face off. Literally. She had actually made it a point to not look him in the face directly. Even from the start. She had good self control, but when it came to that arsehole she didn’t think she could keep herself together. 

She did cave a few, very seldom times when she felt on the brink of… of what exactly? She knew it felt akin to fainting, but without the release of actually being able to do so. Though even then, she never drank anyone dry or to the point of death. Only ever very little. She felt foreign in her own skin when she tasted the blood on her tongue. It felt right and wrong at the same time. 

She got startled out of her thoughts when a person plopped on the floor next to her. It was a young girl, her name was Anna. She was cradling her wrist to her body. Sascha could see the cracks along her hand. 

Sascha nudged her with her shoulder. „Rough fight?“

Anna only whimpered miserably. Sascha reached out carefully and pulled her hand to her lap, stroking it softly as she knew from previous times it would help Anna feel better.  

„Luckily it was over quickly. Riley ended fights early again.“

„He left.“ 

It wasn’t a question, yet Anna nodded shortly, eyes trained on her dirtied shoes. Sascha hummed absentmindedly. 

After a few beats of silence, Sascha’s hands stilled and Anna pulled her arm back to herself. The former noticed the cracks were gone, and probably so was the discomfort. Whatever they were, their healing was something else. For whatever reason. 

Sascha pushed herself to her feet and looked around. It was getting dark, which of course was no bother to her anymore. She spotted Riley as he walked out the ruins they inhabited. Just as she was about to move after him, Anna grabbed her wrist. 

„What are you doing?“ 

She sounded so scared. So vulnerable. She didn’t deserve any of this. Well, probably none of them did. But she was so young. 

„I have got to check something.“ 

„You know we’re not allowed to leave!“ Anna’s voice was hushed, yet full of panic. 

„I know.“ Sascha moved her hand to gently grab Anna’s, stroking her thumb over the back of her hand. „Take care, yeah? Keep your head up.“

And with that she gave Anna’s hand one last squeeze before she dove into the shadows. Light on her feet, making no sound at all. Barely even audible to her own ears. She was out of the ruin walls confining them in seconds. Luckily the others were busy with feeding once more - no body cared to even notice her. 

Out in the dark, she let her eyes roam a little until she spotted Riley vanishing in the tree line of the nearby forest. Sascha just needed to know what was going on. He never told them anything more than they „needed“ to know for the day. Sometimes not even that. And she could feel that all this ruckus wasn’t his plan. He was a middle man. He had to be. 

Sascha made sure to always keep more than enough distance between him and herself. She could not risk being spotted by him. However, a bitter thought invaded her mind, would it really be so bad to be killed? She shook her head quickly, as though to erase her thoughts, and continued on. 

She followed him through patches of land devoid of most civilisation, off roads, through woods. At some point she had to wait a little longer as he waded through some water. Surely the splashes would be too loud if she followed as she had before. She waited a few minutes more before she dove under, swimming instead of walking to avoid as much sound as possible. She’d have to rely on her nose to find him again. 

When she emerged she could barely make out Riley’s scent and followed it cautiously. Tense. She knew if she was any slower, she’d soon lose his trail. Luckily it didn’t come to that as his silhouette appeared in the far distance again. 

It seemed as though they were closing in on a town again. They had passed several so far, some smaller ones, some bigger ones. She never knew where exactly they were though. All she knew was that they were in Washington. 

Sascha watched carefully, perched on top of a tree, and followed Riley with her eyes only for the time being. Her brow furrowed when he jumped up to a window of what looked to her like a random house. The sole light coming from the house appeared to be the living room. It was already dark, the sun had set a while ago. Not yet night. She observed as Riley entered through the window and vanished from her sight. She rose only a little from her crouched position, almost feeling like an animal waiting to pounce. On second thought, wasn’t she a little? 

She decided to wait until Riley left the house again, which he would have to after a while. She nimbly climbed down the tree and opted for waiting on a roof instead. It would give her more shadows to hide in. Sascha was thankful that she was able to stay behind the wind. By now he surely would’ve been able to pick up her scent as well. 

When Riley finally did reappear from the same window, holding something in his hand, Sascha quickly pressed herself down on the house’s roof, vanishing behind the brick chimney and held her breath. Riley left without a sound. He had not spotted her. 

Sascha stayed there, bated breath and still like a statue, feeling weird that her heart was not beating in her chest frantically. The moon was getting higher at some point. She dropped herself off the roof and rushed over to the house. What was so special about this one? What had he grabbed from here? She didn’t get a close enough look.

She sneaked around the house, searching for anything of interest. Yet aside from the obvious smell of humans and… beer, she found nothing. She huffed. Oddly feeling quite like herself for once. 

What was she to do now? For a dreadful moment she felt quite lost. Though she was free, she didn’t know what steps to take next. She wouldn’t go back, that was for sure. With a start she realised she wouldn’t even know how to. But considering the state that she was in now, or rather the thing she was now, she could definitely not just go back to her home either. 

How long has it been exactly? Oh god, Papa… Suddenly she felt a burn behind her eyes, the strong need to cry building up in seconds. She already very well knew she couldn’t. 

However, before she could delve any further into the depths of her growing anxiety, she heard the engine of a car closing in. Her head snapped up as she looked around frantically and decided on an impulse to run into the woods which were close to the house. 

Her curiosity got the better of her as she stupidly decided to remain in ear shot. Sascha needed to know who was living in this house. A person entered through the front door and was greeted by a gruff sounding voice. Their conversation was muffled as she stood waiting some distance away. Sascha could only guess as she couldn’t see the house anymore from the thick of the forest. From the atmosphere it sounded like a conversation between father and daughter. Then suddenly a knock. Another person. Their voices were clearer then, probably talking on the front porch. 

However, their conversation was brought to an abrupt stop. She listened intently as the guy seemingly noticed that something was wrong. Their voices got a little more muffled as they re-entered the house.

What she could make out though was that the guy, Edward was his name if she had heard correctly, realised that someone had been in said house. How did he know? 

Sascha tilted her head in confusion and gripped the tree she was standing behind a little too forceful. „Bloody hell?“ 

„Someone’s still here.“ That was that Edward guy’s voice again. Sascha flinched when she realised her mistake. 

Shit. He must’ve heard her. 

Frantically she looked around herself, panic rising when she heard him calling someone on the phone. Telling them to come help him look. She ran. Not knowing where. One thought cursing through her head. 

Fuck. 

Her tiny slither of hope that maybe she would be able to escape was crushed when she could make out footsteps running at the same speed as hers. Others like her. Not a good sign in her books. 

Unfortunately her orientation when panicked seemed to be shit as well. With dread she realised she wasn’t moving away from the town anymore, but had apparently managed to circle back to it. Like a headless chicken. 

Sascha skidded to a stop, chunks of grass and earth flying as she did, and cut a turn. Misery clung to every movement she could muster. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, she was flung to the side by a massive boulder of a person. She crashed into a tree, which crumbled immediately upon impact. Without so much as looking, Sascha jumped to her feet again, pushed herself into the air and grabbed the closest branch she could find and swung herself away before she tumbled back to the ground again. Two were after her. She could see that in her attempt of escape. 

„Go left!“ The voice was deep and raspy with anger. 

They were surely trying to corner her somehow, flanking her. A desperate noise tore through her throat as she pushed herself to run faster. But anyone who has ever even played a harmless round of „tag“ knew that you would always be the slower one if you didn’t know where you were running. 

Sascha tried to cut more corners, tried to be as unpredictable as possible, yet she was still able to see the others in the periphery of her vision. 

FUCK. 

And as it had to happen, one of them was finally able to grab hold of her yet again. Sascha felt a grip like a vice on her shoulder and she was yanked to the ground forcefully. Leaving a huge dent in the forest floor. Before she could collect herself, she was grabbed once more, by her throat this time, and thrust into a boulder. It crumbled around her back. 

The guy in front of her was wild with fury. She could tell. His black eyes wide, blond hair messy from the chase. „Who are you?!“ This must be Edward. She recognised the voice. 

Sascha was too overwhelmed with panic and fear. She clawed at the guy’s hands instead of answering, trying to get free. 

He slammed her into the boulder again, rubble falling around them. „Answer me!“ 

Suddenly two others appeared in her line of sight. One of which was undoubtedly the other guy who had rammed her to the ground before. He was indeed a giant of a person. The other was way more lean, though muscular still. 

Sascha’s eyes were trained on the tall one, a crack snapped through the air and suddenly she wasn’t standing in a choke hold anymore, but stood in the latter’s place instead. Whereas he was now the one being choked by Edward. 

The giant sputtered in shock. „What the fuck?“ 

Edward immediately let go of him as they both whirled around back to her. 

„Wait! Please-“ Sascha didn’t get to finish. A mere half second passed as the lean one lunged at her as well. 

Out of instinct, she dodged and raised her fists to block him. She could tell he was surprised, even if only for a fraction of a moment. Both got a few hits in, with Sascha leaning more on the defence side, before he managed to grab her neck with one hand and one of her wrists with the other. 

Then, another crack. In her place stood Edward suddenly and she was back next to the giant. Her head snapped to him, eyes wide in fear. 

„Please wait, please!“ Her words stumbled in her mouth with speed. She raised her hands to cover herself quickly when the big guy formed a fist to try and punch her down once more, though she saw a slither of hesitation. His eyes flitted over to the other two, who sped over to them, successfully cornering Sascha from all sides. 

Sascha glanced around, desperation more than visible on her features. „What’s going on?“ 

Edward snarled. „That’s something you need to answer as soon as possible if you want to keep your head on your shoulders.“ 

Sascha’s thoughts were going a mile per second, a tremor in her limbs with tension. Suddenly though, Edward’s features turned from fury to angered confusion. He turned to the lean guy. 

„Jasper, calm her down.“ 

Sascha snapped her head in Jasper’s direction, fearing what that might mean, when suddenly a wave of serenity came over her. Her thoughts slowing down as she relaxed ever so slightly. „What…“ 

„Who are you? And what are you doing here?“, repeated Edward. 

Sascha hesitated, despite feeling a little less on the verge of a panic attack. Could she even trust them? Who could she trust at all really…? 

„It doesn’t matter if you can trust us. If you don’t tell us soon, you’ll have other things to worry about.“ 

Sascha was hit with another wave of calm, distracting her from her confusion as to how he had just answered a mere thought in her head. She pushed it aside for the moment. „My name’s Sascha. I- I don’t-“, she breathed out in frustration, not finding the words fit for the situation. „I got kidnapped a couple months ago. By some dude. He turned me into this.“ She gestured down herself. Surely they understood she didn’t mean the still drenched, dishevelled state she was in. „I don’t know who he is. I followed him here from where they held us. I don’t know what’s going on.“ 

The three of them looked at each other for a moment. Edward nodded after a few seconds and continued. 

„What was he doing here? Do you know where he kept you?“

Sascha shook her head quickly, swallowing on nothing. „I don’t know. He was in some house, and took something. I didn’t see. I don’t know where it is he went back now.“ She suddenly remembered where the sun had set earlier. „He left in the direction south-west of the house.“ 

Edward looked at the other two once more. „Follow his trail.“ 

They nodded and sped away with a gust of air. 

Sascha whipped her head back to the blond guy, eyes shifting around. Should she run? 

„Don’t even try. You’re coming with me. My family and I have some questions.“

His voice was stern, no room for discussion. And quite frankly, Sascha didn’t feel like she had any energy left to fight back anyway. It had been too long since she had even a little fill of blood. 

At that, Edward’s brows pulled together in an even deeper scowl. „When was the last time you fed?“ 

Sascha shrugged. „About two months ago.“ She could feel her anxiety creeping back up her spine slowly but surely. 

A humourless laugh escaped the guy in front of her. „And your first thought was not to drain everyone in this town?“ 

„Why should I?“ 

Her reply seemed to startle him so much, his mouth snapped shut immediately. But it seemed to have caused some shift. She saw his shoulders relax ever so slightly. 

„My name’s Edward.“ Sascha nodded in response, more to herself. „Follow me.“ 

He reached to grab her upper arm, from which she flinched away immediately. Was this safe? 

„Safer than going out alone again. Come on.“ 

She gave in and sped after him. Though his hold on her arm didn’t give her much room to do anything else. 

They returned to the house where it all started. A small woman was waiting for them there. She had short, spiky hair. Eyes a dark amber shade. 

„I’ll take Bella to the house. You take this one hunting.“ Edward almost shoved her in the direction of the new person. 

Sascha glared at him over her shoulder. „I already told you my name. I am not a bloody animal.“ 

„Excuse him“, a voice soft like a fairy sounded next to her. „He doesn’t do well under stress.“

„Meet us later.“ And with that he went around the house and vanished. 

Sascha hugged her arms to herself as she turned her attention back to the woman. Hunting? 

„I’m Alice. Don’t worry, okay? Everything’s going to be fine.“ 

Sascha couldn’t help the scoff that escaped her, though she couldn’t bring herself to feel sorry for her slight rudeness either. „If only that were true."

To her surprise a slight smile spread on the pixie’s face. „You’ll see. Come with me.“ 

„Hunting?“ 

„Exactly. I’ll show you.“ 

Sascha dropped her arms and nodded curtly, which Alice returned in a more kind manner and sped off. Checking over her shoulder that Sascha would be following her. 

***

Chapter Text

The Cullens

With the back of her hand, Sascha wiped some leftover blood from her chin. „My name's Sascha, by the way."

„It's nice finally meeting you."

„Hm." Sascha nodded to the now still deer to her feet. „This is definitely better than eating humans." This was the first time she actually did not feel uncomfortable. The craving had been sated. She took a mental note of that. Bear, two rabbits, and a deer.

Surprise washed over Alice's face. Again this reaction. Why was that?

A smile replaced her confused look quickly. „Curious you would think that."

„I know Edward said he had questions that needed answering." Sascha rose to her feet slowly and brushed her hands off on her trousers. „But honestly, so do I."

Alice nodded, soft understanding emanating from her. „I can imagine. Do you think you're fine to go meet the others?"

„Others?"

„My family."

„Will they attack me again?"

Alice chuckled. „I will see to it they won't."

With that they ran through the forest once more. For a while Sascha felt like they only ran deeper and deeper into the forest. Until a big house, with windows stretching along the outer walls generously, came into view. They slowed down.

Suddenly, for no apparent reason, Sascha grew self conscious. She looked down at herself. Her clothes, though dry by then, were still covered in dirt and dried blood. A hand reached up to her tousled, light brown hair.

Sascha felt a hand on her shoulder. Alice's. „Don't worry. We'll get you cleaned up as soon as possible."

„I would do anything for a shower."

The front door opened. Edward. „Answering all we need to know will suffice."

Sascha fought off the urge to roll her eyes, and took a step toward the house, Alice's hand still on her shoulder. Somehow, it gave her a sense of comfort.

Edward stepped in her way. „Not so fast."

„I thought you wanted answers?"

„There's a human in the house. We need to make sure first that you won't be a danger to her."

Sascha admitted that made sense from their point of view. Considering how the others had lost themselves over every and any sign of human blood… horrid.

She noticed Edward narrowing his eyes for a second. Was that confusion on his face again? Maybe he really did need answers. A lot of them.

Then, he opened the door wider. A beautiful woman, with hair like gold stepped out, flanking Edward. Suddenly the hand on Sascha's shoulder didn't feel like a comfort anymore, rather like a steadying grip. And then appeared another person - the human, Sascha assumed.

She looked a little timid, stayed a little further in the house. Just close enough for Sascha to see her. She had been able to smell her the moment they closed in on the house, only then was the moment when Sascha consciously noticed. She recognised the smell from the house Riley had been in.

The human didn't meet her eyes, it seemed like her stare was trained on the back of Edward's form instead.

A few beats of silence, almost awkward silence, followed.

Sascha raised her shoulders a little, her hands clasped in front of her for comfort. „Now what?"

„You'll be fine being in a room with her?", Edward asked.

„Why wouldn't I be?"

The grip on her shoulder loosened again. „I think it's all going to be fine, Edward. I told you on the phone I saw all turning out okay."

Sascha turned to look at Alice with raised eyebrows. Saw it?

The third woman clicked impatiently, her arms crossed in front of her. „Alright then. Let's bring even more danger into this." With that she turned and stepped back into the house.

Inside, a group of three was waiting, including the absolute beauty from outside. The others were a man with blond hair and a brunette woman. All of them were sporting golden eyes. How interesting. She figured then, that Edward's and Alice's eye colour must be the same, just different shades.

„Why are your eyes golden?", Sascha blurted out as they entered the room. There was a fire going in the fireplace.

The man who she didn't know yet turned to her, hands clasped in front of himself in a non-threatening manner. „Hello. My name's Carlisle", he gestured to the woman next to him, „and this is my wife, Esme."

The woman in question raised a hand in a soft greeting, mouthing „hello" to Sascha as well.

He continued. „And these are Rosalie", the blonde had taken a place near the fireplace, „Edward and Alice who you've met already. And Isabella."

Alice and Isabella had sat down on a two-seat sofa next to where Carlisle and Esme had been sitting. Edward took a stand in front of the glass wall. As though to block Sascha's way. She released a short breath through her nose. As if she'd jump through the windows.

„I'm Sascha." She looked around hesitantly. „Miller."

Esme nodded kindly. „Nice to meet you."

Sascha could feel the stares on her. They felt suffocating. So she broke the silence. „Look, I don't know what's going on, okay?" She turned to Edward. „Like I told you, I don't know anything. We weren't told anything. I only know a name and that's it."

Carlisle raised his head a little at that. „What's that name?"

„Riley. Nothing else. No last name nothing. I don't even really know his face."

„It's true. I don't see it in her thoughts."

Sascha glanced at Edward once more.

Carlisle turned his attention to him too. „Edward, did you recognise his scent?"

„No, nobody we know. A stranger."

„A nomad passing through?", Esme suggested.

Rosalie shook her head, her eyes seemingly looking into nothing. „A passerby wouldn't have left Bella's father alive."

In that moment, the two other guys Sascha recognised from their little brawl, Jasper and the Giant, entered the room.

„Scent disappeared about five miles south of Bella's house." Jasper's eyes, black like Edward's, found Sascha's. Carefully calculating her every move. Though there was something else there too. Curiosity?

„These are Jasper, and Emmett", Carlisle introduced them on their behalf. Emmett stepped past Sascha, almost a snarl of distrust on his face, as he stood close to Rosalie.

Sascha felt like the reality of the situation was starting to overwhelm her again. Too many new people, too much half-information. She wrung her hands desperately.

It was clear Sascha was becoming frantic again. Alice raised her hands a little in a manner to soothe her. „It's alright. You're fine here."

Oh, how much Sascha wanted to believe that.

„How about you tell us what happened to you in the first place? How did you turn into - into one of our kind?"

Sascha's eyes found Alice's. „Your kind?"

Carlisle nodded. „That's right?"

Sascha's brow furred slightly, pain written on her face as she recalled the months that had passed. „It was a little more than half a year ago. 8-9 months maybe? I was on my way back home. In Seattle. I was living there at the time. It was dark out. I knew I shouldn't have taken a shortcut, but I did it anyway. I got attacked out of nowhere. Knocked out immediately. I don't remember much, just pain. Like fire. When I finally came to, I was in some abandoned… factory site I think? Some ruins. I woke up as this", once more she gestured down to herself, „There were others there, but only a few. Around five others at that time. But more were brought to the place each week. By this guy, Riley. He also brought humans to feed on. I never did if I could help myself."

Carlisle's nod of understanding didn't go unnoticed by her.

„He made us fight each other, for training he said. But never told us why, or what for. Sometimes he would leave, of course he also didn't tell us where to. So this time, I followed him out. Sneaked out of that place and followed him here." Sascha raised her head to look at the others, who were listening intently to her story. „That's all there is, really."

Edward narrowed his eyes in concentration. „How many were you when you left?"

„Maybe about 30? Give or take a few considering my bad guessing."

A tense silence passed for a moment, everyone letting the information sink.

Carlisle was the first to voice his thoughts. „Someone's orchestrating this."

„Victoria?", Bella asked. Sascha noticed how anxious the human was. She felt for her. Whatever got them all, especially including a human, tangled up in this must be serious.

Alice shook her head quickly. „I would've seen her decide."

Again with the seeing, Sascha thought. What was going on?

Edward's face was hard with tension too. „It has to be the Volturi."

„I don't think it's the Volturi, either. I've been watching Aro's decisions, too."

Sascha blinked in confusion and hugged her arms even closer to herself. „The Volturi?" Her voice was barely louder than a breath.

Emmett joined in for the first time, back straightening as he did so. „So we keep looking."

„We'll also take shifts guarding Bella at her house." Carlisle's soft attitude had an almost calming effect on Sascha. She had to admit that she liked how he didn't lose focus of the situation at hand.

Sascha heard Rosalie take a breath. „Another protection detail?"

Carlisle seemed like he wanted the blonde to calm herself, but got interrupted by Isabella.

„No, she's right. You can't protect me, watch my dad, and search for the intruder."

Rosalie's eyes were hard as stone. „And for Victoria."

„And keep yourselves fed", added Isabella once more.

Sascha lost focus of the following few sentences. This was getting too much for her. But just before she could slip further into her anxious thoughts, she felt yet again an unnatural calm engulfing her. Like back in the woods, when Edward had ordered-

Her head turned to look at Jasper, who she realised was already looking intently at her. His eyes unreadable then.

„What are you doing?"

This interrupted the discussion going on between the others, attention back to her.

Sascha frowned at Jasper, confusion slowly turning into frustration. She had her own questions that she desperately needed answers to. And she wasn't getting any.

„You didn't ask anything yet."

She scoffed in Edward's direction. „Because you gave me so many chances to ask questions, is it?"

Alice rose from her seat next to Isabella. „How about I help you get cleaned up first? We can all calm down a little, and then we'll talk?"

Sascha glared in Edward's direction one more time before nodding. „Seems like a plan."

Esme closed the distance between them and softly grabbed Sascha's arm in a comforting manner. „We'll be waiting here."

With that, Sascha let herself be pulled up the stairs into one of the many rooms. It had a bathroom connected to it.

Alice sped around for a few seconds and came to a stop in front of her, arms full with fresh soft looking towels and a bathrobe. „Come on, you can use anything you want in there. Take your time. I'll give you some privacy. I'll be right here, if you need anything."

Sascha reached to take the towels from her, careful to not dirty them with her clothes, and gave her a small, yet grateful smile. „Thank you."

Inside the bathroom, door closed behind her, she let out a long breath she knew she didn't need. A huge mirror covered the wall above the marble sink. Sascha hesitated before stepping in front of it. She hadn't seen her own reflection in months, and after spending all that time in a dirty ruin she feared just what might be looking back at her.

Slowly, almost timidly, she stepped forward. It felt like being hit in the stomach with a wrecking ball. She immediately felt sick. More sick than she ever had been. More so when she realised not a single body function was reacting accordingly. No cold sweat, no shivers, no ability to throw up the non-existent bile that rose up inside of her.

Sascha dropped the towels into the sink and gripped the edge of the stone counter, holding on for dear life. Accidentally crushing it between her fingers. She gasped in shock as she leaned forward to inspect herself further.

Her own eyes glared back at her. A bright, orange red colour. Her hair matted and knotted. Once light brown, now unrecognisable. Her skin was smeared with earth after rolling around in the forest with the others. Her clothes torn - a long sleeved shirt only sporting one sleeve at this point, jeans with holes along her knees, almost in shreds at the ankles.

„What the fuck", she hissed with clenched teeth.

This is what Riley did to her? Turned her into this wild thing, which she still didn't know exactly what to call. Of course something had dawned on her after a few months, but she didn't dare believe it to be true.

What disgusted her the most was the fact that, despite her state, she still looked inhumanly good underneath all that dirt. She had noticed the same in the others at that place, and then, at this house, ten times more. They were all mesmerising. Otherworldly looking.

She couldn't keep looking at her own reflection. She tore herself away from the mirror and tore her clothes off herself. Literally. There wasn't anything left to salvage anyway. She spotted the light, scar-like lines along her limbs. She had lost a whole arm once, only her lower arm the other time. Deciding not to fight only ever really worked if the other decided the same.

She finally stepped under the shower and turned it on. She almost felt like crying, if she could, that is, when the warm, almost hot water hit her skin. She let herself soak for a good while. Not caring how much water she was wasting. She definitely had saved a lot of water not showering for a good few months.

Ew.

It took the longest to detangle her hair. Almost 6-7 rounds of conditioner worth of knots inhabited her scalp. She noticed though that no hair was falling out at all. Weird once more.

She was relieved to notice that once she stepped out of the shower again, she wasn't feeling good, but at least she didn't feel like she was still on the brink of insanity.

The towels Alice had given her felt like clouds in comparison to anything she had felt in the past time. Almost like she used to before, she snuggled herself into the bathrobes and pulled it tightly around herself and the collar all the way up to her cheeks. She winced when she almost ripped the rope as she tied the knot.

She quickly brushed her strands out with her fingers, glad that the mirror was completely fogged up, and then made to leave the bathroom again.

Like promised, Alice was still there. Though, part of Sascha believed this was mainly to make sure that she didn't just bolt. Alice was sitting in a comfortable looking armchair by a window, reading in a magazine.

Alice raised her head when she heard the door open. A smile on her lips. „How are you feeling?"

„A little better."

„I'm glad. I understand it will take some time to adjust. But I promise, it'll get better."

Sascha nodded slowly, then suddenly felt quite ashamed. „I uh… I accidentally broke the sink counter. I'm sorry."

Alice only giggled in a carefree nature. „Oh, that's alright. It happens." She got to her feet and gestured toward her bed. „Here, I picked out some clothes which I guess should fit you. You are quite tall so I had to improvise, I hope you don't mind."

Sascha looked over and spotted a simple dark grey shirt with long sleeves, and a pair of sweatpants.

Alice clicked her tongue, mostly at herself it seemed, as she eyed the clothes in distaste. „I'll make sure to get you something with style the next chance I get."

A real, genuine giggle escaped Sascha at that. Surprising herself, and bringing a glowing smile to Alice's lips. „It's fine, really. You're very kind to even give me this."

„Okay, get dressed. I'll take care of your stuff in the bathroom", she made to leave toward the bathroom, but hesitated for a second, turning to look over her shoulder. „Please don't leave, okay? We can help you."

Sascha gave her a short smile. Even if not - „I wouldn't even know where to go."

That seemed to be enough for Alice as she nodded in satisfaction. Sascha grabbed the clothes and got dressed quickly. Trying not to tear anything by accident. The clothes were a little loose around her limbs, but at least they fit.

She heard Alice's voice behind her. „Let's go."

Together, they returned back to the living room. Everyone was still there, except for Isabella and Edward.

Esme rose from her seat next to Carlisle and gestured toward the sofa in front of them. „Come on, have a seat." She sounded so much like a mother. It warmed Sascha.

Sascha nodded, shooting her a soft smile, and sat. Alice took a seat next to her.

„I apologise we just pushed you into such an overwhelming situation", Carlisle started. „That wasn't very fair of us."

„You can probably tell this is quite", Esme paused, looking for the right word, „stressful for us too."

Sascha shook her head quickly. „No, sure, I understand. Actually you were still more than civil compared to that other place."

Emmett chuckled suddenly. „That's a relief."

Carlisle leaned forward slightly. „Whatever questions you have, we will try to answer them to the best of our ability."

„What are we?"

Alice seemed like she was trying to smile, but it rather looked like a grimace of pained sympathy. „Haven't you guessed already?"

Sascha inhaled deeply. „Surely that can't be true… Those are not real."

„Oh you can believe it", Jasper's southern drawl came from her right. „It's real."

„So… vampires then?" The people around her nodded only. „Well, that explodes all myths and stories." Sascha rubbed her face, brain already feeling exhausted as she tried to accept this thought. This reality.

„We are turned by the bite of another vampire", Carlisle explained, „When we bite to drink from a human, we can also inject them with our venom, which then turns them."

Sascha nodded slowly. „And it basically turns off any body function?"

Carlisle moved his hands in a vague manner. „More or less. We still crave what is then considered our food, of course, blood. But yes, other than that, that's a quite fitting summary as far as it goes."

„What else?"

„Immortality." Rosalie's voice sounded pained almost. Sascha looked at her in shock. „You become frozen in the time and age that you were turned."

Esme tilted her head a little. „Which for you is…?"

„22…"

Alice let out a surprised sound. „Oh you look a little younger."

Sascha sighed, a half smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. „That I know." She touched her cheek gingerly. „Never quite lost the baby face."

That actually got a few of them to chuckle softly at her. Sascha pondered what she should ask next, when her gaze turned to Jasper.

„What was that what you did earlier", and then turned to look at Alice, „and what you mentioned about seeing things?"

Alice nodded. „When we are turned, some of us develop a gift of sorts. I have visions of the future, Jasper here is an empath. He can feel and manipulate other people's emotions."

Sascha's straight posture slummed a little at that, astonishment written all over her face. „Are you serious?"

„Edward is a telepath", Carlisle continued. „Which is why he and Bella are not here right now. We figured it'd be best to give your thoughts some privacy."

„Something gives me a feeling that wasn't his idea", Sascha mused under her breath.

Emmett barked out another laugh. „Looks like we got ourselves our own little mindreader."

Sascha loosened up a little and smirked at him. „Just observant."

„Though I do think you have your own gift as well, don't you?", Jasper pointed out, sharing a look with Emmett, whose eyes lit up at the memory. „Back in the forest?"

„Is that what that was?", Sascha crossed her legs underneath herself. „To be honest that was one of the few times it even happened. I always just thought it had something to do with the speed that… vampires could move at."

Rosalie tilted her head. „Care to fill us in?"

Sascha shrugged helplessly. „I- I don't actually know how to explain it."

Emmett's brow furrowed. „It looked like you were teleporting."

„But not quite either", Jasper said.

„It only happened to me twice before", Sascha started. „When I was still back there, and he would make us fight. It's like I was… switching places with someone."

That made Emmett nod. „You switched places with me, and then with Edward."

„Interesting", Carlisle said. „Have you ever tried to do it on purpose?"

Sascha pursed her lips and shook her head, no. „I didn't even realise at the time that it was something I could do."

Alice laid a hand on her shoulder. „That's alright. Gifts can develop over time. You can practise it."

Sascha nodded, as another thought crossed her mind. „Edward mentioned something before. Something about the Vo-", she cut herself off, trying to piece the sound together again, „uh.. it sounded Italian?"

„The Volturi", Carlisle helped her out. For some reason, a distant pain was swimming in his voice. „They are what is considered our highest court and lawmakers when it comes to the vampire world."

Esme laid a hand on Carlisle's arm, as though to support him. „They are a coven in Italy. We came in contact with them recently due to an issue. You see, there are some rules that we must abide by, in order to keep our existence a secret. They make sure it stays that way."

„In not too kind ways", Emmett added with a scoff.

„And what about this Victoria character? Isabella mentioned their name, right?"

„We don't know for sure. It's a long story", Alice answered. „For context, we had a run in with some nomads, travelling vampires, about a year ago. One of them wanted to kill Bella, so we had to kill him. His partner, Victoria, now seeks revenge. She has been in the area, we've been trying to catch her."

„Which is why Edward is on such a high alert", Carlisle said, voice low. „Bella has scraped death one too many times."

Sascha nodded. „I understand that he would be protective. Who wouldn't be."

„I appreciate your sympathy."

Sascha gave Carlisle a smile. „Don't mention it."

Emmett raised his hand, kind of dork like, but Sascha found it endearing. „I have a question."

„Ask away."

„How is it that you, a newborn, were completely fine with a human in the same room?"

Sascha breathed out a laugh at the question, thinking it a joke and turned to look at the others. When she noticed nobody was laughing, but seemingly waiting for an answer just as curiously as Emmett, her face turned serious again. „Wait, that's a serious question?"

Emmett raised his hands as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. „Well, yeah."

„Well, I-", Sascha leaned back a little, her head tilting in confusion. She felt stumped by the question. „Why wouldn't I be fine?"

„Don't misunderstand", Carlisle said quickly, „It's just that, usually, newborns, freshly turned vampires, are their most uncontrollable in their first few months. Especially if there's no one there helping re-learn that control. It is quite, let me say, rare to find a newborn so calm."

„Well, I just find it illogical."

All of them looked at her in utter bafflement. If the situation weren't so serious, Sascha would've felt like laughing again.

She wrung her hands, trying to come up with an explanation. She found she could only give her reasonings as to why she chose to consume as little human blood as possible. „A while after I turned, I noticed that no lack of food or water really affected me. I figured that whatever I had become had made me immune to lack of nutritions. I knew I didn't want to kill anyone either, so I didn't."

„You… logic-ed your way out of bloodlust?", Emmett attempted to summarise.

Sascha squinted her eyes a little. „Bloodlust is the burning feeling in the throat?" She got a confirming nod in response. „Then yes, I guess?"

„Interesting", Carlisle muttered, a smile on his lips.

„Is it really that uncommon?"

Jasper scoffed. „What were the others like at that place you were kept?" Sascha thought to see a ghost of a smirk on his lips then.

She pondered for a second, a grimace pulling at her features rather quickly.

„There's your answer."

„Wait, so what about you guys then? And how come you all have golden eyes if we're the same kind?"

„We live a different lifestyle than those feeding off of humans", Alice explained softly. „You got a glimpse of it when I took you hunting today. We learned to control our thirst. And we feed off of animals instead. So instead of red, our eyes turn golden. Yours will too, if you choose to adapt this lifestyle."

Sascha nodded, smiling appreciatively thinking about that concept. „Still killing… but I reckon a little bit of speciesism should be allowed to us at this point."

„Do you have any other questions, dear?", Esme asked.

„Not at the moment, I guess. I'm sure I'll have more once everything's… sunk in more."

Carlisle made a sound of understanding. „Of course. With the current situation, I think it'd be best if you stayed with us. We can help you, and I also think you could help us with whatever is going on here. If you want, that is."

Esme nodded at that. „You are free to choose."

„Usually I wouldn't want to impose, but since I really feel like I'd be in a dead-end otherwise, I'll gladly accept your offer. Thank you. All of you." She made sure to glance at everyone quickly.

„Might've had a rough start, but I think you'll fit right in", Emmett said with a smirk.

„Oh jolly."

„If you are to stay here, though", Carlisle started and Sascha turned her attention back to him, „there's an important thing you need to know about."

Sascha nodded, patiently waiting for them to continue.

Carlisle clasped his hands together. „We are not the only species which you might've considered of the… supernatural kind before. Here in Forks, there's also another group - a tribe of shapeshifters. They can change into wolves, were-wolves, at will."

Carlisle paused intentionally, waiting for Sascha's reaction. Her eyebrows only shot up at that, then she leaned back on the sofa. „Sure, why not?", her voice turned to barely a mutter then, „Apparently I didn't know anything about the world anyway."

„We have been here before, many years ago, and negotiated a peace treaty between our coven and their tribe."

„I assume usually you're not exactly the best friends among the supernatural?"

„More like arch-enemies", offered Alice. Sascha could see the attempt of a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Carlisle nodded. „Unfortunately. But we were able to come to an agreement, we stay off their land, and they off our territory. We assured to never feed on or turn any human. As long as we uphold this, the treaty stands. If you choose to stay here, you need to abide by the same rules."

„Of course. That seems easy enough."

„Jasper, Emmett, will you show her the treaty line?", Carlisle asked the others. „Don't go alone if you're so close to the border."

A scoff came from Rosalie. „Not after what just happened with those mutts."

Jasper gave a curt nod, almost soldier-like in his entire posture.

„Do you mind me asking a personal question?", Alice asked after a few moments.

„Depends on the question." Sascha gave her a reassuring smile though, and nodded once.

„There must be people looking for you still, right? You said you were attacked one night and kidnapped."

Sascha's face dropped suddenly as that thought was brought back to her, her eyes snapped downward to look at the carpet.

„I'm sorry, I didn't-"

„-It's alright. I just… didn't think about it myself for a moment." Sascha took a deep breath she knew she didn't need. Something burned at the back of her eyes. „It's just… my dad is probably sick with worry. Or mourning, who even knows. I don't know what happened after I disappeared. God, and my friends…"

„We can help you figure that out if you wish", Carlisle offered.

Sascha looked up at him. „Yes, please."

„Do you have any other relatives?", asked Esme carefully.

„I'm sure my grandparents would've also noticed by now. They live in Europe still, so we don't manage to talk that often, but at least every other month."

Rosalie tilted her head as though she had picked up on something. „Are you from Europe, originally?"

Sascha turned to look at the blonde. „Yeah, I'm from Germany. I started doing some work and travel after I graduated from school, my father joined me after a while."

„I was wondering where the accent came from", Emmett said. „Some things you say like a proper brit though."

„My English teacher back in school was from London, maybe that's why."

Another few moments of silence passed. Sascha felt like question time was over - it seemed like more than enough at this point really. Apparently, Carlisle had the same thought as he rose from the sofa.

„Very well then. I suggest you scope out the treaty line now. Sascha, I will do some research for your case. Would you tell me your date of birth?"

„Sure", Sascha got up as well, „October 11th, 1986. Oh, and my name is spelled with an s-c-h."

Suddenly she felt a big hand slap down on her shoulder. Her head snapped around in shock, staring wide eyed at Emmett.

„Come on, Sherlock."

Sascha snorted. „Sherlock?"

Emmett pushed to escort her outside, Jasper following with a smirk.

„Yeah. Holmes? Logic and all that. Wasn't Sherlock a big dude on logic."

„Sherlock Holmes was also severely addicted to several different substances."

Sascha barked out a laugh at Emmett's confused face and clapped a hand on his shoulder instead. „It's quite alright, big guy."

***

Chapter Text

Treaty Line

Sascha kicked off some dirt from under her shoe after the other two had come to a halt after a while. She couldn't help the little flush of embarrassment as the emotion still clung to her from some time before, of almost stepping into the woods, completely barefoot. Alice had saved her from that as she had dashed out with a pair of simple sneakers, insisting Sascha would put them on. So she had.

Most of the treaty line seemed to run along the forest, so they were able to run at non-human, vampire speed instead. The notion of actually being a vampire still felt weird to her.

„We gotta slow down now. Humans tend to take walks around here sometimes", Emmett explained.

Sascha nodded. „So, I take it you live permanently in this town?" It was a question that had been coursing around her head for a while now.

„For now, yes", Jasper replied. „We have to make sure to switch our residence in certain intervals since we don't visibly age. To avoid suspicion."

„Oh, I haven't considered that", Sascha's eyes widened a little at that realisation. The logistics that came with immortal life. „And you have been here before? Carlisle mentioned something about having come back here?"

Emmett made a confirming noise. „We have some favourite places we like to come back to."

„Where have you lived before?"

„Before Forks we were in Alaska for a while. Jasper and Alice joined us there sometime during the 50s, just after-"

„-In the 50s?", Sascha interrupted suddenly, holding a hand up. „Wait a moment, how old are you?"

Emmett gasped dramatically and held a hand to his mouth. „Sascha, you don't ask a gentleman his age."

„Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware of being in the presence of more than one gentleman", Sascha laughed.

At that even Jasper made an amused noise. The look of shock on Emmett's face only helped.

„What is that supposed to mean?"

„Well, Jasper at least gave me the respect of a proper fight on eye level. You just bulldozed me into the ground."

„Emmett, you just don't know how to treat women", Jasper smirked.

„How was I supposed to know that there was a woman underneath all that dirt!"

Sascha gasped in feigned indignation and pushed Emmett away with one hand, which caused him to fly back a few metres.

Sascha giggled in surprise. „Whoops."

Emmett dusted off his pants, though there was no need for it. „Newborns and their stupid blood-driven strength."

Though Sascha could hear his grumblings were lined with humour, she still felt a pang of worry that she might've crossed a line there?

„Don't worry", Jasper's drawl sounded from beside her. A smirk pulling at one corner of his mouth yet again. „He is not used to not being the strongest around."

Sascha breathed out a laugh, grateful. She flexed her arms playfully. „Gotta be careful of these guns."

„If you two are done making fun of the weak", Emmett said, „There is still a treaty line that someone needs to pay attention to if she doesn't want to be mauled by some flea-bags."

The trio continued on their way, soon walking along a road that split through the forest.

„You still haven't answered my question though."

„Apologies, ma'am. I'm afraid you have to specify that."

Sascha chuckled at the show of manners. „How old are you guys? And the others?"

„19", Emmett said, pointing at Jasper, before switching his hand to himself, „and 20."

„For how long have you been 19, and 20?"

„I got turned in 1863."

Sascha's feet stopped abruptly as her eyes almost popped out of her head. „You were born in 1844?!"

„Say it louder for all the mortals, Sherlock."

Emmett's chuckles silenced her with a start. „Shit."

Jasper nodded, as though it was the most normal thing in the world. Well, for him it was. „Good math."

Sascha pulled a face. „Ha-ha… Man, I vastly underestimated immortality."

„I blessed the earth in 1915, if you're curious."

„Wicked", Sascha said in astonishment as they continued walking. „And the others?"

„Carlisle was born in 1640, to get the most shocking for you out of the way", Emmett laughed as Sascha's mouth gaped open once more. „Changed when he was 23. He changed Esme in 1921-"

Sascha listened with deep interest as Emmett kept listing their different ages. On top of realising that vampires and apparently also werewolves, no shapeshifters, existed, this was the icing on the cake.

„Wow… you're old old."

Emmett barked a laugh. „Says the infant."

„Ah come on, I bet my soul is older than yours by a millennia." Sascha pondered for a moment. „What do you even do with all that time?"

„Graduate from High school", Jasper said dryly.

Emmett nodded with a grimace. „Over, and over again."

„Why in the world would you do that to yourselves?"

„It's the easiest to blend in at the age that we present", Jasper explained. „If you want to socialise among mortals, that is. Less questions."

„Do you pose as a family here then? I mean, I'm sure you are a family by emotion either way, but officially? I reckon an ID from 1844 would confuse most people."

„Sherlock, back at it again", Emmett laughed. „But yes, you're right. To the humans we are all Carlisle's and Esme's adopted sons and daughters. Makes it easier to explain our lack of resemblance. And the small age gap between us and our ‚parents'."

„Rosalie and I go as twins."

„Interesting. You really know how to dance this tango, don't you?"

„Lots of time to perfect the strategy."

Sascha nodded at Jasper with a giggle. „Touché."

***

Later that day, Sascha found herself sitting alone. On a couch, in a room that was not hers. After she and the others had returned to the house, Esme had welcomed them back. She had immediately whisked Sascha away in the most motherly way possible and shown her the spare room she had fixed up during their absence.

Esme had seemed almost guilty that she couldn't offer more at the time. Muttered something about possibly expanding the house to the east wing. All the while Sascha was already in awe at the room that she had presented her with.

Not big, but definitely not small either. High ceilings and cream coloured walls with one accented in warm brown. A big window opening up to the forest and a small balcony attached to it. A three-seat couch with a fabric so soft… Sascha had never touched anything like it before.

A small coffee table stood in front of it, with a small, comfortable looking armchair and a lamp next to it. Sascha spotted a built-closet in the wall to her right. Next to it was even a desk, some books on little shelves on the wall it stood against.

This was one of the most beautiful rooms Sascha had ever seen. She shouldn't have been surprised, considering the rest of the house.

Esme had assured her they'd figure out something more permanent, if she so wished, asked her if there was anything else she needed and then left Sascha to her privacy.

And then she sat there. On this couch, that felt like clouds, but definitely wasn't hers. Sascha could feel in that moment, that the reality she had been trying to get a grip on during the past few hours, but was so deliciously easy to ignore when distracted, came crashing down on her harder than any bulldozer move Emmett could even attempt.

She sat there. In clothes that were not hers. Stroking skin that didn't feel like hers.

Stop it…

Sascha threw a short glance at the long mirror that hung on the inside of the door.

Don't.

Of course she did. She had to look again.

Her hair was dry now of course. But instead of having dried in an absolute mess of one third wavy, one third straight and one third frizzy, like it always did when she'd let it air dry… it had dried in a weirdly, unnaturally perfect way that made her feel like looking at a stranger. And then she felt stupid for disliking that her hair was looking good.

Sascha gasped as a thought shot to the forefront of her brain and she raised her sweatshirt a little to look at her rips from the side. Then her back. Relief. Her tattoos were still there. With a start she realised they looked better than before as well. Hm… That was something she could appreciate. She dropped the fabric again. She pushed her sleeves up a little and bit her lip as she could make out the faint scars, and bite marks along her arms. There were five bites. Luckily not more. There was one more on the back of her neck, she knew that. It was more prominent. The one that had turned her. She'd never seen it, but could definitely feel it if she traced her fingers over.

The other scars were mere lines now. A pattern reminding her of marble almost. Her arm had been torn off there, more than once. Gruesome moments, really. Sascha clenched her eyes shut as she turned her back to the mirror.

She heard the birds chirping outside. The sun had started to rise while she had been out scoping out the treaty line. She stepped onto the balcony and opted for sitting on the handrail. She stared out into the woods, sunlight dancing between the branches and tree tops. She could see the dust particles reflecting the light. The squirrels dashing about. Was that an ant crawling along a log?

There was beauty in how she was able to see the world now. The abandoned building they had been stuck in didn't really give her anything to look at. But it was also eerie. Everything seemed almost too perfect. Too clear.

She was really stuck like this now. As something she had yet to grasp. She didn't even feel that it was either good or bad. It was just a lot. On top of it, she was feeling antsy about any and all information about what had been reported on her disappearance. What was her dad thinking? Mustn't he be sick with worry? And her friends… She almost felt like she had betrayed them all. Did they think she had just stopped contacting them for no reason?

There was this burn in her eyes again. She had gotten used to this sensation by now. How she wished she could just cry it out. That definitely was a downside to it all.

Suddenly, something glittery caught in the corner of her eye. When she turned to look, she had to suppress another gasp. It came from her hand. The sun had moved higher in the sky, and its light was hitting her skin directly. It was sparkling… like crystals.

„Was zur Hölle…"

***

Chapter Text

Patrol Planning

„I talked with Jacob. He and the pack agreed to help protect me and Charlie from the intruder."

Sascha did not need to be an empath to feel the utter disdain going around the room at that piece of information.

She was standing near the doorway, between Jasper and Alice. The latter had come knocking her door when Isabella and Edward had returned from the human's house. Alice wanted to make sure if Sascha wanted to be present for the family's future plans concerning their - most likely connected - situation.

Emmett snorted. „We don't need those dogs' help. They'll just get in the way."

„But you do need to feed. I know it's not ideal", Isabella sighed miserably. „But it seems like it's the only way."

„I'm sure we'll work this out", Carlisle soothed. „We should make our own schedule so we can plan ahead."

„The pack prefers to take watch at night", Edward said.

Jasper crossed his arms, back straight as a rod. „We should stay in groups of two. Just to be sure."

Carlisle nodded, a hand on his chin in thought. „Agreed. I suggest we go in turns with those who have hunted the most recently to those who haven't the longest. And then just cycle."

„For how long is this supposed to go on?", Rosalie snapped suddenly.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Sascha's eyes darted around, unsure if she should even say anything at all to this. Was she even included in the plan making?

Esme sat up from the sofa and approached the angry blonde, putting a hand on her shoulder. „Rosalie, this is about family", an almost stern look graced her brows, „for as long as it's necessary."

Rosalie scoffed, a snarl tugging at her lips. „Fine." With that, she stomped out of the room.

Emmett shot Isabella an apologetic look before he rushed after his partner. Wife, she remembered from their walk along the treaty line.

Carlisle sighed as Esme stepped to his side. He looked over at Isabella. „She'll come around, Bella. Don't worry about it."

„Sascha wants to know if she can join the patrol too."

The woman in question almost flinched, when Edward suddenly mentioned her. It took her a second to realise. „Can you at least knock before going into my head?"

„It's not something I do by choice."

„That sucks."

„You can say that again."

„Do you want to get involved in this?", Isabella cut in, worry all over her face. „I don't want even more to be in danger."

„Am I not already involved though?"

„Still", Carlisle said. „You don't have to be anymore."

„What Edward heard was actually me wondering if you want me involved. I know you are looking for a different intruder, but I can't help feeling a little like one myself."

„Oh, but you are not", Alice immediately said. „None of us think that way."

„Even if you don't. It's only been, what? 20 hours?", Sascha chuckled dryly. „I'm sure the feeling will fade, like you said, over time. But this problem is happening now and I don't know if I should take part in this. And if so, how."

Alice's face fell a little as she understood. „Of course. I'm sorry."

„No need for apologies. I'm just rambling…"

Carlisle hummed in thought. „Jasper, what do you think?"

„Given the fact that she's currently the strongest out of all of us, I'd say it can't hurt to have her add to our… line of defence, if you will", Jasper turned to look at her. „She also doesn't seem untrained in close combat."

„Did my left hook give me away?"

Jasper breathed out a laugh. „Your posture actually."

„Anyway", Edward interrupted. He seemed antsy again, poor guy. Sascha received the tiniest of glares for that before he continued. „If you want to join, you can."

Something in his voice seemed so forced, Sascha felt sure he did not actually mean that. But maybe his hate for the werewolves was so big, he was willing to take any other help. Even if it meant having to trust a stranger.

Another glare.

Sascha scoffed. „Come on, am I wrong?"

Edward's jaw clenched. „Not completely."

Sascha turned to the others, who waited patiently. „I mean I'll feel weird and out of place no matter what I do for the time being", she folded her arms across her chest. „Might as well make myself useful."

„You don't have to do this", Isabella said.

„I know."

Isabella nodded, her lips pressed together. Remorse and gratitude etched onto her face.

„So that's settled then", Carlisle said, taking over his part as the coven's leader again. „Sascha, I think it's best if you stick with Jasper for the first few times then. He has the best knowledge when it comes to newborns, it will be helpful considering…"

Sascha laughed under her breath when Carlisle hesitated. „My lack of knowledge of basically everything?", she offered.

Carlisle smiled softly. „Not my choice of words, but basically", he then looked around the others again, „Rosalie and I have hunted the most recent. It'd be best if we took the first shift. Alice, will you take tomorrow's shift, with Emmett?"

Alice nodded. „Of course. I'll let him know."

„Carlisle, do you think it's a good idea to have Rosalie go first?", Edward asked.

„She won't be happy either way. I'll handle it."

Sascha really wondered where all of Rosalie's anger came from. You would think that- She cut off that thought immediately. She didn't know anything about this family's situation. It wasn't her place to judge Rosalie's behaviour.

Alice softly put a hand on Sascha's shoulder. „If there isn't any more planning we need to do now, I would like to steal Sascha away for the afternoon."

„Alice, no adventures", Esme warned, „We should tread carefully for the time being."

„We won't have to leave the house."

„Do I even have a choice in this?" Sascha couldn't help the small smile though.

„Of course", Alice said innocently, before a devilish smirk appeared on her face. „But you'll be missing out."

Before Sascha had even uttered ‚okay', she was already dragged out of the living room. An honest and carefree giggle escaping her. It felt like a breath of fresh air.

***

„What about this one?"

Sascha leaned over to peek at what Alice was pointing at in her magazine. „Hm… the colour is a little too loud for me. If that makes sense."

„But it would look so good on you!"

„And I would feel like a neon sign wearing it."

„It's apricot."

Sascha buried her face in the magazine in her hands and breathed out a whine. „I know. It's a lovely colour, but still."

„Relax", Alice giggled and nudged her playfully. „I'm only trying to get a feeling for what kind of style you like. And before you say anything-", Alice quickly interrupted when Sascha opened her mouth, „Comfortable is not a style."

Sascha sighed in defeat and let her head dangle upside down from Alice's bed. The other was sitting at the foot of the bed, a pile of magazines around them. „I can't let you get me a whole new closet worth of clothes, Alice."

Alice turned another page, unbothered. „And why is that?"

Sascha flipped over on her stomach to better look at her. „It's too much."

„Too much what? Money? We have it. Time? That too. Effort?", Alice looked over her shoulder up to her, a smile on her lips. „It's my pleasure. Letting me do this is actually you doing me a favour."

Sascha let those words sink in for a while, Alice had already returned to browsing her magazines, making small notes or putting in marks when she spotted something she thought would fit into Sascha's style.

„Can I ask you something?"

„Anything."

„Why have you been so nice to me from the start?"

Alice raised an eyebrow and giggled. „Would you prefer me to be more like Edward?"

„Please no", Sascha gasped with a laugh of her own. „No, I didn't mean it like that. But you seemed so open toward me from the very first second. While you are all still in this mess, where I'd think any stranger is a liability."

Sascha caught how Alice's hand stilled the tiniest of moments before turning another page. „Let's just say I'm a good people person."

Sascha gasped in realisation. „Wait!", she got up and sat on the floor opposite of Alice. „Did you see me coming?"

„I can neither confirm nor deny that."

„Oh god… You totally did. What did you see?!"

Alice reached to grab one of Sascha's hands. „Just trust me, okay? Let me set up your new wardrobe, and try to get used to all of this."

„You've already adopted me as a sister before we even met, haven't you?"

Alice laughed, a bright smile lit up her face. „You can bet your muted, no-pattern, comfortable clothing style on it."

„Hah!", Sascha exclaimed and pointed a finger at the future-sighted vampire. „So it is a style."

„Careful, before I keep making you wear Jasper's clothes."

Sascha blinked in surprise. „These are Jasper's?"

„Rosalie's, Esme's or mine wouldn't have fit you", Alice explained and smirked. „Besides, something like that would never find its way into my closet."

Sascha snorted in reply. „Good to know. Guess I need to give him my thanks then, too."

„Ah, I didn't even ask him. I knew he wouldn't mind."

„You two must know each other for a long time, right? Emmett told me you and him joined this family together."

Alice nodded. „I had seen them, back then. And Jasper too. It showed me the both of us could have a more sheltered, less lonely existence. So I waited for him and dragged him with me. The rest is history."

Sascha listened closely, curious to maybe get some more details about each of their paths some time. „Are the two of you an item?"

„No, no. Very close friends. The closest. But never more than that."

„That's nice", Sascha mused. „I reckon it's really the best to not be alone, being like this?"

„I guess everyone has their preference. But immortality, eternity, can become quite suffocating if spent alone. At least that's what I felt like for a long time. I know some of the others do too."

„Was it a comfort to you sometimes? To see the future?"

Alice pondered for a moment, she set the magazine down in her lap. „Good question. I mean, I think it was a comfort in the way that it gave some sense of direction. But not all the time. My visions depend on people's decisions and how their path changes with them. So they can be quite erratic sometimes and unclear. When I first turned I was feeling like I was going crazy half the time."

„That must've been difficult."

„I'm sure your first few months were much more difficult, Sascha."

Sascha waved a hand dismissively. „Ah, I keep that bottled up to nurture until the time is right and I can take it out on someone who's responsible."

Alice pursed her lips. „It's not really healthy, is it?"

„Probably not", Sascha heaved a sigh. „But I have to get used to all this first. Before I can even attempt to unpack that."

„Lean on us if you have to. Honestly, most of us had to struggle alone in the beginning, it will feel good for us if we can help someone in not having to go through the same."

„Thank you", Sascha said, her voice small. „I'm glad I'm not alone with this."

Alice smiled softly at the blonde, before she turned the magazine around to her again. „Now, what do you think of this?"

***

Chapter Text

How Dare You?

The following week developed quite uneventfully. Sascha felt less like having to tiptoe around each day. She had also learned that what she preferred as a style wasn't actually called 'comfortable'. Apparently she liked a variation from 'casual chic' to 'vintage skater' - if she were to take Alice's word for it. It had been more than obvious that Alice's knowledge of and around fashion vastly overtook hers. So of course - she'd take her word for it. But really, at the end of the day, she would be fine with any label of style as long as she'd be given loose cut clothing that would fit her shoulders and maybe sleeves that reached further than barely just her wrists.

Sascha did find herself getting bored every now and again. She finally noticed how much time she actually had on her hands when she didn't need to sleep. She hadn't been aware of it until she stayed with the Cullens. Back at the other place, she was far too much on high alert to actually feel time passing. It had all become a blur.

She spent some of her time exploring Carlisle's extensive library after he had offered her to browse around. It helped quench her curiosity in some points. The rest of the time she spent with Alice and Jasper, or the entire family when they'd occasionally come together during the late evenings. Emmett and Rosalie kept to themselves a lot, so she hadn't had the opportunity to talk with Rosalie really. Sascha guessed the time would come eventually.

Alice had come knocking her door the day after their magazine scouring, arms full with bags and wrapped bundles. Most of it Sascha found was well aligned with her taste. But she could spot one or two items in between where Alice probably hadn't been able to stop herself from trying to expand Sascha's outfit range.

Sascha of course didn't mind. She was more than grateful that she had something to call her own. Not having to live out of someone else's closet was definitely helping her acclimatise more quickly.

She was currently tying the laces to her new sneakers, Jasper stood next to her and waited.

„So, what's your favourite prey?"

Jasper chuckled lightly. „Mountain lions, bears, carnivores in general."

Sascha nodded. The two of them were on their way out to hunt. The rest of the Cullens had already had their fill, now it was their turn.

„I see. I think I still have to expand my palate before I can build a preference." She stepped out after him into the garage, following him to a black Mercedes. Astonishment was written all over her face as she admired all the different vehicles. „Okay, wow."

„We're taking Carlisle's car today."

„You don't have one?"

„I usually drive that." Jasper pointed at a motorcycle which stood to the side of the garage so it wasn't blocking the entry way. A Ducati.

„Ooooh", Sascha gasped and looked at the bike a short moment longer before she got into the car. „That's just stylish."

Jasper started the engine and they swiftly drove off. „I quite enjoy it."

„I had always wanted to get a licence for cycles as well." Sascha observed the woods they drove through. „I didn't in the end when my father begged me not to. I guess he was right, it's not the safest way of transportation."

„Well, that's not something you need to worry about anymore."

Sascha looked at Jasper in confusion. He glanced at her for a second before focusing on the road again.

„It's not like an accident could harm you anymore."

Sascha's eyes widened in realisation. „Oh my god, you're right. The possibilities."

„For all its downsides, immortality does have some perks at least."

Sascha noticed some gloom washing over Jasper's face. Subtle, but definitely there. She wondered why that was. Alice had mentioned that none of them had an easy start into this life. Given the time that Jasper was turned, he probably had seen some gruesome stuff. The thought alone would have given her goosebumps if that were still possible.

„What is it?"

Sascha blinked. „Hm?"

„There was a spike of fear in your emotions."

„Oh", Sascha breathed out a chuckle. „Sorry about that… It's nothing."

She spotted Jasper's jaw locking suddenly, brows pulled together slightly as he kept staring ahead. Eyes almost black.

„The fear wasn't directed at you", she said quickly. „I was just thinking about what kind of downsides you could've meant. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you. Any of you."

Jasper relaxed a little again and hummed in reply. „I guess not."

„I don't want to pry. But… how were you turned? Wasn't that some time during the Civil War?"

Jasper's eyebrows rose in surprise. „You know about that?"

„We do have schools in Germany, you know."

„Apologies", he chuckled, „I wasn't aware you learned about American history there."

„We had some American history during English classes", Sascha explained and cringed a little at the next thought. „I had to give a presentation about the Civil War in 10th grade."

Jasper chuckled shortly. „Well, you are right. I was turned during the Civil War", he started, his voice growing somewhat darker. „There were actually vampire wars going on at the same time. The war gave the perfect cover for such many casualties. Covens were fighting for territory. It was the worst in the South."

„Are you from there?"

Jasper smirked a little, almost proudly. „Texas. I was in the Confederate Army at the time. Turning me was a strategic scheme of a Coven leader. She wanted to use my ‚uniform' and skill to build herself a proper army. She was quite the manipulator."

Sascha exhaled heavily. „Wow… that sounds… horrible."

„It's not a time I like to think back to."

„What's going on now must be hard for you. It's like history repeating itself. Even if on a smaller scale."

Jasper pulled the car over to the side of the road. They were quite a distance away from Forks by now. „We'll all be better off once all this is over."

Sascha took that as a cue to drop the topic and jumped out of the car. „Well, then let's catch some fast food to power up."

Jasper snorted and looked at her over the roof of the car. „Fast food?"

„I'd imagine a mountain lion to be quite fast."

Sascha giggled when Jasper rolled his eyes. Though she could tell he was amused as well.

„Come on, I'll race you for some bears", she smirked and sped off.

***

They returned about 2 hours later, having taken their time to hunt as long as they needed. Sascha mostly just followed suit after Jasper, having not yet developed her own hunting strategy. Though she already found it easier to rely on her instincts more than the time she had gone hunting with Alice.

Back at the house, Sascha followed Jasper into the living room where Carlisle and Emmett were sitting, watching some news on the television. Emmett perked up visibly when he noticed them.

„Sherlock! How was your hunt?"

Sascha shook her head fondly at the nickname. „Quite good, thanks."

Carlisle smiled. „You seem to adjust well."

„Day by day. Your company helps."

Emmett laughed loudly at that and slung an arm over her shoulder, pulling her down to the couch. „Glad to hear it."

Sascha chuckled with the big guy when Jasper also took a seat next to Carlisle.

Suddenly, a live report cut into the news block and Sascha quickly detangled herself from Emmett.

„Seattle is in a state of terror. Police are baffled by the escalating murders and disappearances. Theories range from a vicious new gang to a wildly active serial killer. Reporting live-"

„It's getting worse." Carlisle moved to switch the TV off as Isabella and Edward entered the room. „We're gonna have to do something."

Sascha kept looking in horror at the black screen. She felt sick.

„It takes more than one of our kind to cause the damage they are reporting." Jasper clenched his jaw. „Quite a few more. They're undisciplined, conspicuous."

Edward nodded grimly. „It's the newborns."

Isabella shook her head in confusion. „What, like, the ones which Sascha escaped from?"

„When we're newborns we're at our most uncontrollable. Vicious", Jasper paused for a second, his freshly golden eyes almost darkening again. „Insane with thirst."

„It fits the pattern", Edward said.

Emmett smirked darkly at Isabella. „Something to look forward to."

Sascha smacked his leg at that, brows knotted together tightly. This was no time for jokes.

„No one's trained these newborns. But this isn't random." Jasper's frown deepened considerably.

„Well, he made us fight each other", Sascha intervened, teeth gritted. „For training."

Carlisle nodded. „Someone's creating an army."

Sascha leaned back and covered her face with her hands. „Jesus…"

Emmett jumped from the sofa and stood. „Well, now we're definitely going to Seattle."

„An army of vampires?", Isabella repeated, disbelief clear in her features.

Jasper looked her way. „And they're created to fight someone."

Edward shook his head almost helplessly. „We're the only clan even close to Seattle."

„Regardless of why they were made, if we don't put a stop to this, the Volturi will", Carlisle said. „I'm surprised they let it go on for this long."

„Or they are behind it." Everyone looked at Edward in surprise. „In Italy, I read Aro's mind. He wants me and Alice to join him. And he knows we'll never choose so as long as our family is still alive."

„Well an army could solve that for him", Jasper said.

Sascha frowned. „Does that make any sense though? I don't know anything about the Volturi, but would they choose some random kid to do all this? I mean, I never got a good look at Riley, but he looked younger than me."

„Looked younger", Jasper reminded her. „He could've been older."

„How common was the name ‚Riley' a hundred years ago?"

Jasper acknowledged that notion with a nod.

„The Volturi would never involve themselves directly", Edward explained. „If they are behind this, they'd have to act through third parties."

„This is just insane", Sascha whispered. Then suddenly dread filled her, causing both Edward and Jasper to snap their eyes to her. „God, my father is still in Seattle. What if something happens to him?"

Edward shook his head. „There's nothing we can do for now."

Sascha stood from the sofa. „Then I'll go alone and get him out of there." She was just about to leave the room, when Edward blocked her way.

„You can't do that."

Sascha's eyes snapped to Edward's in a dangerous glare. „Who are you to say that, huh? That's my father."

„We have to be careful about this, Sascha", Carlisle tried to reason with her, calmly. „Whoever is doing this could recognise your scent easily and re-capture you."

„And you're not safe to be around so many humans just yet. You could be more of a danger to your father than those other newborns."

That's what caused Sascha to snap. She grabbed Edward by his collar and pushed him against the wall with a dangerously loud thud. He tried to push against her, off of him, but it was no use.

„How dare you? I have no problems being near Isabella. None at all. I came to Forks, without issues. How dare you say I would be a threat to my own father." She pushed him against the wall once more with the last word, her blood-orange eyes burned with anger.

„Deep down, we're all monsters", Edward hissed, almost a whisper, a snarl tugging at the corner of his mouth. „There's no guarantee you wouldn't lose control."

Rage rose up higher within Sascha before it suddenly vanished. Partly. A soft hand rested on her shoulder and she snapped her head around to come face to face with Carlisle. Compassion on his face.

„I understand this is more than painful for you", he said and gently pulled her away from Edward. Reluctantly, Sascha let go of the latter and let herself be turned around to Carlisle. „But we must act with caution. At the right time. We'll do what we can, okay?"

Sascha pressed her lips in a thin line, before she gave a curt nod. Carlisle put his hands on her upper arms and gave her a comforting squeeze. „We'll get behind this."

When he let go of her, Sascha looked over at Jasper who still had his eyes fixed on her, trying to reign in her emotions. „You can stop. I'm fine." She took a breath to steady herself. „I need some air."

Nobody stopped her as she quickly turned to leave the room. Just before she was through the door to the backyard, she glared one more time at Edward and made sure to think one sentence extra loud.

Fuck you.

***

Sascha sat on a log near the tree line, chipping away at a small stone with her finger nails. It wasn't long until she could hear the glass door slide open behind her. The heart beat gave her away before she spoke.

„Is- is it okay if I join you for a moment?"

Sascha nodded her head briefly, still looking to the ground. „If you're not afraid."

Isabella sat down next to her. „I'm sorry about what Edward said."

„Don't be. It wasn't you."

Isabella sighed. „I feel responsible though. I'm the reason he is so on edge to begin with."

„Please, he's not a child. He can take responsibility for his own actions by himself."

„Then I'm sorry about the situation with your father", she gave in. „I would go mad too."

Sascha dropped the stone, now mere pebble, to the ground and pulled her legs up to her chest. „It's just all so fucked up."

„That's true", Isabella nodded. A few beats of silence passed between them. „You can call me Bella, by the way."

Sascha turned to give her a questioning look.

„Inside, you called me ‚Isabella'. Bella is just fine."

Sascha smiled weakly and reached a hand out to Bella. When she took it, Sascha was careful to not use any strength and gave a small shake. „Nice to meet you, Bella."

„You too", Bella smiled, some awkwardness lifting off her in that moment. „Please don't take what Edward said to heart, okay? He overstepped a line. He… is not really at peace with himself at the moment."

„He has called himself a monster before?" Sascha wrapped her arms back around her legs.

Bella nodded, sadness in her eyes. „It pains me that he thinks that way. But yeah."

„Seems like he should deal with his issues and not let it out on others."

„You're completely right. I don't want to defend his behaviour… just-"

„-you just want to explain it?", Sascha interrupted. Bella gave a nod. „Yeah… I see where you're coming from." She sighed heavily.

„He'll get an earful from me later."

Sascha breathed out a laugh at that. „I'll greatly appreciate that."

„And everybody here knows, at least by now, that questioning your self-control is just", Bella blinked quickly as she looked for the right words, „it's just nonsense."

„It's a coping mechanism really", Sascha muttered.

„What do you mean?"

„I don't want to dump all my stuff on you, I-"

„No, it's fine, really. I - I want to know."

Sascha sighed once more. „I guess I always had good self control. Over a lot of things. My emotions, my actions. Too much maybe." She paused for a few seconds. „When I control myself, I don't really have to deal with all this stuff. Or any stuff in the past."

Bella seemed to understand in that moment as she nodded carefully. „But some of that is also just you being in control of your instincts, probably. I've seen what a vampire can be like when blood is near."

Sascha stared into nothing as she remembered the others Riley had brought. How they were when humans were thrown into their midst. „Well, you could be right about that."

„It's not hard for you at all? Not even tempting?"

Sascha hummed in thought, then turned to look at Bella. „I suppose you could compare this to being insanely hungry and then deciding against driving to McDonald's because you know it's bad for you, and just waiting until you're home and done cooking. The temptation is there, but it's not even a question to resist."

„Great, so I'm a… Big Mac?"

„On a second thought, you're more like a huge cheesecake", Sascha laughed. „I don't really like McDonald's."

The two laughed together before quieting down slowly. They sat in silence for a few moments, just being. Existing. Sascha observed a few beetles scrambling around some branches. She then took a deep breath, the fresh air bringing some ease to her nerves.

„Thank you."

„For what?"

„Talking. It helped."

***

Chapter Text

Reports

Sascha was sitting on the porch outside the main living room, one of Carlisle's books in her lap. It was turning dark already, the third sunset after they had observed the news report, she noted. Carlisle and Rosalie would be coming back soon from their watch over Bella's house.

Alice and Jasper were keeping her company, playing a card game. Alice had suggested chess, which her friend had immediately declined. Sascha had smiled softly at their antics.

Sascha snuggled deeper into the blanket she had draped around her shoulder. She didn't need it, but she wanted the comfortable atmosphere.

„I wish I could drink tea."

Alice glanced over to Sascha and put a card down. „Tea?"

„Just for the mood. Reading books without tea feels wrong." Sascha jutted her lower lip out and turned a page. „Woe is me."

Jasper chuckled, a lopsided smirk on his face. „Poor thing."

„Somehow I don't feel taken seriously, Jasper", Sascha teased lightly, „Why is that?"

„I don't know what you're talking about, Darlin'."

Sascha snorted and put the book over her face. „God, I'm going crazy."

A few seconds later, the glass door to the porch slid open.

„Sascha?"

She quickly lowered the book and sat up straighter. Carlisle was standing in the door frame, some papers in his hands. „Yeah?"

„I was finally able to find some information about your case in Seattle", Carlisle said and held the papers out to her. „The good news is, you were not reported dead."

Sascha skimmed through the papers as Carlisle continued. There was a missing person report for her and a few police reports documenting the ongoing investigation.

„You were included in the disappearance cases. Apparently your father has done whatever he could so your case would stay open since there wasn't any proof of injury on your presumed crime scene."

Sascha nodded slowly, processing the information. A watery laughed escaped her after a moment. „He can be quite stubborn."

Alice stood up and moved closer to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. „Sascha, this is good. When all of this is over, you can contact him again."

„I would have done that anyway, no matter what." She didn't want to come off as rude. But the thought of them trying to keep her from going back to her normal life, her family, had crossed her mind more than once. Even more so after the… incident between her and Edward.

„Actually, I had an idea", Carlisle started and Sascha looked at him curiously. „It depends on what the others think about it, we'll have to talk to them. But, you could contact him from here, through a phone call, to let him know you're safe."

Sascha stood up quickly. „What?"

„There could be a way for you to let him know about your disappearance and escape, but aren't able to return just yet."

Jasper frowned. „What if Sascha's father won't be satisfied with not seeing her."

„No, I can make him understand." Sascha looked at Jasper and nodded. „He'll trust me. I'll tell him whatever I need to make him believe me."

„Then let me call a meeting with the others. We'll discuss the details together, and take a vote", Carlisle said. „Alice, if you see anything-"

„I would've already seen something the moment you had the idea. But I'll keep my eyes on this."

„Good. Alright, go ahead to the living room, I'll get the others."

Just as Carlisle was about to leave, Sascha reached out and grabbed his arm. „Wait!" A second later, she pulled a quite surprised Carlisle into a hug. „Thank you."

Carlisle smiled softly and hugged her back, rubbing her shoulder affectionately. „Don't thank me yet, let's wait for the others' opinion."

Sascha pulled back and nodded. „Of course."

Once in the living room, Alice made Sascha sit between her and Jasper. The newest vampire was grateful for their support. One vocal, one silent. Sascha could feel it around the edges of her emotions - Jasper always ready to step in.

In a different context, she would consider it invasive. But Sascha also understood the severity of the situation. Everything was a high risk and it was important that everyone kept their cool. She wondered if it was a big strain on him, always being ‚ready'.

Sascha nudged him with her knee. „Don't overexert yourself. I promise I'll be fine."

Jasper looked at her in confusion. „What do you mean?"

„I can feel you monitoring my emotions."

„I'm not doing anything."

„Huh… that's odd."

Before they could ponder on it longer, Emmett and Rosalie came to join them. The latter took her usual seat near the fireplace, Emmett of course right by her side. It took only a few short moments before Carlisle also came back, Esme, Edward and Bella in tow. They all took their seats, while Carlisle kept standing.

„I've already talked with Sascha about her case report in Seattle. Since she hasn't been pronounced as one of the murder casualties, there is the option for her to contact her father from here. Of course-", Carlisle quickly raised a hand in Rosalie's direction when she tried to interrupt, „this would entail Sascha telling him a cover story. That she found shelter in a facility to help her recover from the events and keep her safe until the situation in Seattle has been resolved."

Esme frowned for a moment, a slither of sadness on her face when she looked at Sascha. „You can't tell him the truth."

„I know, that's okay. As long as I get to talk to him and take him out of his misery."

Rosalie crossed her arms. „I don't think it's safe." Her voice almost sounded guilty.

Alice shook her head in determination. „If something bad was going to happen, I would've seen something by now."

Bella pulled at her sleeves. „Imagine what her father is going through right now. It's just a phone call. It's such a small risk."

Sascha looked at Bella in deepest gratitude and gave her a tiny nod. Then she looked around at the others again. „I won't do it if you don't agree. It's not up for me to decide alone." She was willing to compromise. If she wanted their help, she needed to show her willingness to cooperate as well.

„Let's take a vote then", Carlisle said, „Since I'm the one suggesting it, I assume my approval is a given. Honey?"

Esme nodded immediately. „Mine too."

„Alice?"

„Of course. It will be fine." No hesitation whatsoever.

Carlisle kept going around the room with his eyes. „Jasper?"

He merely nodded in reply.

„Emmett?"

„I don't see what could go wrong anyway. Let Sherlock have a talk with father dearest."

Emmett's overly British accent made Sascha snort out a laugh. „We are not from England", her tone was hushed.

Rosalie didn't wait to be asked and spoke immediately when Carlisle looked at her. „Only if we're there during the call. To make sure she sticks to the plan."

Esme sighed. „Rosalie-"

„-It's fine", Sascha interjected quickly. „I can live with that." She didn't want to be all alone during the call to begin with. „I'll even put him on speaker, if it makes you feel any better."

Rosalie nodded curtly and folded her hands in her lap.

Then came the person who Sascha was sure of would say no.

„Edward?"

He was quiet for a moment and then - „Yes. She has been through enough."

Sascha's eyes snapped to the mind reader in shock. He just pressed his lips together and Sascha thought to see a moment of remorse in his eyes before it was gone. Was this his way of apologising? Maybe Bella had gotten through to him a tiny bit after all.

„And Bella?"

„Yes, definitely."

Sascha breathed out in relief and dragged her hands down her face. „Thank you so much."

„Let's do it tomorrow then. Sascha, you and I will work out exactly what you can tell him and make you a sort of script", Carlisle suggested. „It gives you enough time to mentally prepare yourself."

And so that's what they did for the rest of the day. The rest of the family went back to their own business, Edward and Bella left the house to go back to Bella's. With Edward and the werewolves there for their night watch, nobody else needed to patrol.

Carlisle and Sascha went over every single possible detail. Speculated and predicted any and all questions Sascha's father could have and how best to navigate them. They also agreed on a time limit and thought of a soft way to end the talk if needed. They thought it better to keep this call short. With some breaks in between to chat about other things as well, it took them all night.

„Thanks for helping me with all this."

Carlisle looked up from their notes for a moment. „Of course."

„Why are you doing this at all? It's already so much you're doing for me."

„You see", Carlisle sat his pen down, „I might not have biological children of my own. But I have this family. Last year, I- we almost lost two of our own. The uncertainty when we didn't know what had happened, it was… excruciating."

Sascha didn't need more explanation to understand. Carlisle did this not just for her, but also for her father. „Words are not enough to express how grateful I am."

He smiled kindly. „It's not needed, really."

Luckily, when the sun rose again, the week had passed on to a Saturday. Sascha would have suspected her father to be at work had it not been the weekend. Then she would have needed to wait until the day's evening to get hold of him. Probably.

So, by 10am the Cullens and her were sitting around the dining room table, the only ones not present were Rosalie and Emmett, they were standing watch by the Swan household.

The phone sat in front of Sascha. She had already typed in her father's number, she just needed to press the green button.

Esme sat across from her, she held Carlisle's hand that was resting on her shoulder. „Whenever you're ready, dear."

Sascha took a steadying breath, she was sure her limbs would be shaking if she were still human, and then pressed the button.

The few times it rang felt like never-ending. Mere seconds turning into her own torturous eternity. Every sound got drowned out around her with the peeping of the phone. Sascha couldn't even hear Bella's heart beat anymore.

„Lars Miller?"

Sascha froze, her words got stuck in her throat as she heard her father's voice. It was more raspy than before, he sounded tired. Dejected.

„Hello?"

Sascha opened her mouth again, but nothing came out, until she felt a wave of calm blanketing her carefully. She glanced at Jasper quickly who was sitting two seats away from her and exhaled one more time.

„Papa, it's me."

They could hear sudden fumbling from the other side of the phone. „Is this a joke? I swear, if this is a prank c-"

„No, no it's really me!", Sascha said hurriedly, „It's me, Sascha."

Her father released a strangled sob. „Oh mein Gott."

Sascha immediately clenched her eyes shut when her pain for her father overcame her. „Hey there, Papa." She felt Alice's hand on her arm.

Lars sniffled on the phone. „Oh Gott, Sascha, where- what happened to you? I've been- I've been looking for you for months. And the police and the murders and-"

„I got abducted", Sascha paused when she heard her father heave another sob across the phone, „but I managed to escape from there, Papa, I'm safe now."

„Where are you? I'll come get you immedia-"

„I can't come back yet, I'm so sorry", Sascha breathed out and looked at Carlisle shortly, who gave her an encouraging nod. „I've been taken into a shelter where I'm safe. They're helping me get better now."

Lars stuttered helplessly for a moment. „What are you talking about, Sascha? Then I'll stay with you, just tell me where you are, I'll be there as soon as I can."

She could hear the jingle of his keys across the phone. „Papa, you have to trust me, okay? It's not safe for you to come here. The people who are doing this might follow you. You understand? I'll come back the moment that group has been taken care of."

„Oh god honey, what did they do to you?" His voice sounded so broken.

„I'm fine now, that's all that matters, okay? I promise. They didn't do anything bad to me."

„C-can you describe the people who did that? Maybe it could help the police find out who's behind all this."

„I am talking with the local police here. I was allowed to talk to you, but you also have to make sure that no one learns of this, okay? Not even the police in Seattle. It could jeopardise the entire case."

„Juppadise?"

Sascha breathed out a single laugh. „Die Ermittlungen dürfen nicht gefährdet werden."

„I see… God, Sascha, you can't imagine how worried I was. Still am."

„I know, Papa, I'm so sorry. I would've called you sooner, but there was no way."

„I'm just glad to hear your voice now", Lars said softly. After a few moments more sniffles and sobs could be heard across the phone. „I thought you were dead."

Sascha wished nothing more than to have the ability to cry again. To get through this horrible feeling yet also relief more easily. „You know me", her voice broke at the end, „I don't go down so easily."

„Can anybody else know?"

„Not yet, I'm sorry. But I promise, I'll-"

„-as soon as the situation allows it. I understand", Lars sniffled again and cleared his throat. „As long as you're safe, that's the only thing that matters."

„I'm safe here. Good people have found me."

„Thank goodness. Give them my thanks, Sascha, you hear me?"

Sascha finally looked at the others then and smiled a little. „I'll let them know." That's when she saw Carlisle, with a sorry look in his eyes, tapping his watch. „Papa, I have to hang up now okay? I'll reach out to you as soon as I can."

„You can't talk longer?", Lars asked, his voice laced with worry.

„We can talk about everything in person, yeah? We will see each other soon. You trust me, right?"

„I trust you", Lars said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. „Take care of yourself, Sascha. Please."

„You too. Please be careful with whatever is going on in Seattle right now. Don't leave the house when it's dark out, yes? Promise me."

„I promise."

„Tell others to do the same. Watch out for each other. Maybe even go back to-"

„-Forget it, I won't go there without you."

There was a finality in his voice that Sascha knew not to argue with. At least he'd know to be careful. „Okay, old man."

„I miss you so much, Sascha, make sure to come back quickly, huh?"

„I promise", Sascha whispered, her eyes burned with unshed tears. „I promise you, I will. I miss you too."

„Ich hab dich lieb." Lars' voice was getting choked up again.

„Ich dich auch, Papa. It's all going to be okay. See you soon."

„Soon. Pass auf dich auf."

„I will." Sascha then quickly hung up, knowing she wouldn't have the strength to if she didn't do it immediately. „You too…", she muttered to herself.

***

Chapter Text

Parallels

Sascha stared up into the night sky, lying on her back on the roof, arms crossed behind her head. She had went there a couple hours before, not too long after her phone call with her father. She needed some time alone. The sounds and smell from the woods around masked the sensations from inside the house. Even if only a little. Inside, she had felt like she was about to suffocate.

Everyone had treated her carefully and kindly. Even Emmett had toned down the jokes and teasing. But she had been too aware of everything despite their effort. Too aware of their glances, too aware of the hushed whispers behind closed doors. Even if they weren't judging, Sascha didn't feel like she had the capacity to deal with it at the time being.

There had been exactly two times when Sascha had seen her father cry. When their dog had died ten years prior. When his mother - her grandmother - had passed only 2 years after and now, that Saturday made number three. It was eating her up alive. To know there must have been many other times he cried while she was gone, vanished without a trace. Thinking she was dead now too.

She couldn't bare thought of what her friends and grandparents were going through.

And she still didn't know why she and her family had to suffer that. Why most of her dearest people still had to suffer. And to top it all off, this suffering was the lesser of two evil. Her jaw locked. If she ever got her hands on whoever was responsible for this, she'd-

„Sascha, are you up there?", Jasper's drawl interrupted her thoughts.

Sascha only hummed in acknowledgement. She knew he could hear her. A soft thud sounded somewhere close to her, Jasper had jumped from his room's balcony up to the roof.

„Not to bother you, but Alice and I wanted to go hunt. You should join, it's our turn for standin' watch soon", he explained, but the short silence that followed made her suspect that there was more.

Sascha sat up. „Okay, thanks for asking." She looked at him curiously. „Is there something else?"

Jasper stood, rigid as ever, arms crossed behind his back. When her eyes found his, he loosened a little. He turned to look at the woods before he spoke. „Your emotions seemed… suffocating to-"

„-I'm sorry. I didn't want to cause you discomfort."

„No, no. You didn't", Jasper took a seat next to her, keeping some distance, „I just wondered what was going on. It felt a little like there started to grow an emotional… vacuum around you."

Sascha looked at him again, a confused frown tugging at her brows. „A vacuum?"

„They were getting muffled. Like how sounds are muffled underwater."

„Oh", Sascha muttered. „Yeah I think my thoughts were getting kinda dark there."

Jasper shook his head a little. „It's not that. It seemed more like you were starting to suppress them. Not entirely so, but I can feel that there's a wall around them."

Sascha sighed and dropped her chin to her knees. „I know. I'm working on it."

„Are you?"

A dry laugh escaped her. „I will work on it." She glanced at Jasper. „It's just a lot."

Jasper hummed.

„I mean, we both got turned for similar reasons, right? How… did you get over all that? Over this anger?"

„For a long time I didn't. I let it fuel me. Used it to ignore all other things, until it got too much", he admitted, teeth barely parting, a tick in his jaw. „I committed horrible things back then."

Sascha hesitated for a moment. „Do you… would you tell me about that?"

„Are you sure you want to hear it?"

She considered it for a moment, then nodded.

„Maria, the vampire who turned me, made me her second in command. I was to train all the ‚recruits'", he looked at her darkly, shame in his eyes, „and to kill them after Maria had lost use of them. She never let them live longer than their first year. She only kept me in her ranks for my ability. I could tell when someone was scheming to turn on her. Could keep them in line."

Jasper waited a moment for Sascha's reaction. But she just listened intently, a deep frown tugging at her brows.

„She made me think we were soulmates. I was still young and naive. She faked her emotions so well, I thought they were my own. So I did everything she told me. Believed that everyone was the enemy and the reason for our- my suffering. So I trained, and killed. And I could feel everything they felt while I did it."

Sascha breathed out heavily. „I don't even know what to say." Her voice was barely a whisper. The gravity of his story pulling at her.

The parallels between both her and his stories were eerie. Looming over her shoulder like a dark, shapeless beast, whispering threats of what could have been. Riley had used his charms as well to keep some of the others in line. He had tried it on her as well, growing particularly violent when it didn't work on her. Her left arm twitched at the buried memory of the first time it had been ripped off.

„I never dealt with any of those emotions for a long time." Jasper's eyes seemed almost glassy when he met her gaze again. „You really shouldn't make the same mistakes as I."

„How were you able to get out of there?"

„I ran. I had two friends living further north, so I joined them. But I only really started getting better after meeting Alice, 10 years later, and joined this family with her. Adapting to their lifestyle, it's still hard, but it was a necessary step I needed to take."

It took Sascha a few seconds before she realised. „Oh… when you still fed on humans, you probably could feel everything then as well, right?"

Jasper nodded grimly.

„God, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that."

„That I had to go through that?"

Sascha's voice was low. „You don't need anyone, at the very least me, to tell you that what you did was wrong. I can see that you still feel horrible for it. But you were also obviously manipulated to do those things. It was the only thing you knew at the time… surviving…", she paused for a moment and averted her gaze. „Bad people can make good people do bad things."

Silence filled the space between them for a while. Both thinking on the other's words.

„I guess the moral of the story is to listen to Alice, huh?"

Jasper laughed in surprise, which brought a smile to Sascha's face as well. „I guess."

„And to you, by proxy."

She got a small, lopsided smile in return.

„I'll do my best to not let this shit consume me, I promise", she said, lowering her knees to sit cross-legged instead. „I just feel I need closure with this whole situation first."

„Seems fair."

„So", Sascha clapped her hands on her own legs. „What was it you said about hunting?"

„Is this becoming a routine now? Sharing stories and then going for a hunt?"

„Do I hear complaining there?" Sascha pushed herself to her feet and held a hand out to him. She knew it was unnecessary, but hadn't it always been more for the gesture?

Jasper chuckled at her mannerism but took her hand nonetheless and let her pull him to his feet. „Not at all, ma'am."

***

Chapter Text

A Broken Hand

Time passed in routine again. Standing watch, hunting, for Sascha spending most her time at the house. The others wrapping up the last few days of school that were left for them.

It was a peaceful afternoon. Sascha was sitting on the porch to the living room with the door still open behind her, Rosalie sat on one of the sofas, reading the newspaper. They both seemed to enjoy their comfortable silence.

Sascha hunched over her hands as she carefully carved away at a stone she had grabbed during her last hunt. She found it was the kind of rock that could also be used for sculpting. She had tried to carve wood already as a matter of passing time, but it would keep breaking between her fingers as she still couldn't figure out how much pressure to use. Stones were more forgiving in that matter.

She was going for a full, spheric moon at the time being. Wanting to start with something simple.

However, she got startled out of her process when she heard a car rushing to a stop in front of the house, followed by the slamming of doors and Edward's pleasant voice.

„Carlisle?!"

Sascha straightened up, frowning at his tone of voice. She and Rosalie shared a confused look. The front door opened then and Bella and Edward stepped inside. Sascha noticed Bella was cradling her right hand to herself gingerly.

Sascha worried immediately. Had Bella been attacked while Edward was out hunting? „What happened?"

„Where's Carlisle?"

Sascha had merely started pointing upstairs, when Edward already began moving. „In his study but-", and he was gone so Sascha rushed over to the human, „Bella, what happened?" She carefully guided her over to the middle of the room. Bella still seemed quite flustered.

She helplessly shook her head, trying to formulate a sentence. „I-it was Jacob. I broke my hand when I punched him in the face."

Sascha tried to reign in her look of shock as much as she could. She didn't want to cause even more distress than what Bella was evidently already in. On the inside though… It was good Edward wasn't around to listen to her confusion. It was proper loud.

„Here, let me take a look", Sascha asked softly and held her hands out, „Jacob? From the… pack?"

Bella nodded and pressed her lips together tightly. She breathed out in relief when Sascha's cold hands came in contact with hers. The latter reckoned it must feel good against her bruising knuckles.

Sascha looked at her hand closely, trying to spot any kind of displacement of her fingers or the joints. She stroked Bella's knuckles absentmindedly with her thumbs. „Why would you punch him? Aren't you close?" Sascha's thoughts were chaos. Then her fingers stilled. „What did he do?"

Bella winced at Sascha's tone. „He… he kissed me against my will."

This time it was impossible to mask away. Sascha's eyes widened in shock. „He did the fuck what? Oh my god, are you okay?!"

„Goddamn mutts", Rosalie spat in disgust, though her nose was still stuck in her paper.

„Yeah, I'm fine. Other than-"

That's when Edward and Carlisle returned to the living room, the latter carrying his first aid kit under his arm.

„Let's see about your hand, Bella."

Sascha took a step back to let Carlisle do his work, though she frowned when she saw Bella moving the fingers of her injured hand tentatively, a frown mirroring Sascha's pulling her brows. That's when Sascha noticed the numb stinging in her own hand and looked down. There were some fine cracks along her knuckles.

Carlisle and Edward stilled.

„What did you do?" Edward looked at Sascha, confused, and without a doubt digging into her mind.

Sascha mistook his tone as an accusation. „Nothing! I just looked at her hand."

„It- it doesn't hurt anymore."

„What?"

Carlisle reached for Bella's arm carefully. „Let me check."

Sascha shook her own hand out to release the tension and saw the cracks fading away, only leaving faint imprints.

„Your hand is completely fine, Bella", Carlisle stated.

Edward's frown deepened. „I saw in Jacob's mind how hard she hit him. It should be broken."

„Or at least sprained", Carlisle concluded. „Sascha, what exactly did you do?"

Emmett and Jasper entered the living room then too, having come back from their day watch over the Swan household. Both looked confused at the scene in front of them.

„I just looked at her hand, I didn't do anything", Sascha repeated, borderline frantically, not knowing what else to say.

Edward narrowed her eyes at her, reading her thoughts more clearly. She could almost feel him shuffling through the images. „I think you- I think you healed her."

Sascha sputtered incredulously. „And how would I have done that?"

Edward suddenly stepped forward to grab Sascha's wrist, he spotted the cracked knuckles too. „Carlisle, look."

As Carlisle did, Emmett leaned over the counter curiously. Jasper remained closer to the entrance way, though he watched intently as well.

„Interesting", Carlisle muttered as he inspected Sascha's knuckles. „Those look like the kind of hairline fractures you would see in bones after a severe hit."

Sascha stared at him in wonder. „What in the world?" Then she remembered all the times she'd held Anna, back in the ruins. Every time after the girl had gotten hurt after a fight. A torn arm, cracked wrists and fingers. Sascha quickly pushed the sleeves of her shirt up and took a closer look at the rest of her skin. So did Edward, having followed her thoughts.

That was also the first time all the others got to see her bite marks. The atmosphere shifted a little in that moment, Sascha could feel it. She chose to ignore it.

Sascha traced her scars for a few beats of silence. There were more than there should be - she could remember every instance of when she'd gotten injured. Some were definitely not hers. She realised with a start, that they were Anna's. The most faint ones.

„I took her injuries", Sascha mumbled to herself.

Emmett frowned in confusion. „What?"

„Sascha seems to have done this before, for another newborn where they were kept", Edward explained for the rest. „Curing her pain after fights."

„Like she just did with me."

„It is probably connected to her gift", Rosalie said matter of factly. She rolled her eyes a little at the confusion in the room and folded her newspaper slightly. „She can switch places with people, right? Isn't this basically the same?" She then continued reading.

Carlisle nodded, a smile forming on his lips. „You might be right. How interesting."

„Now you definitely should start training your gift, Sherlock!"

Sascha laughed, though more out of utter astonishment than actual amusement. „You want me to go break your nose and then heal you again?"

Jasper crossed his arms. „Aside from healing broken noses, it could be a very useful asset."

Sascha looked at her own hands again. Healing abilities? How cool…

Edward breathed out a laugh at that. Sascha sent him a playful glare. Out of my head!

„How did you hurt your hand anyway?", Emmett leaned further over the counter toward Bella. „Trying to walk and chew gum at the same time again, Bella?"

A tiny, yet smug smile spread on Bella's lips. „I punched a werewolf in the face."

Emmett raised his brows and nodded, impressed. „Badass. You'll be one tough little newborn."

„Tough enough to take you on."

Sascha chuckled lightly at that, but the sudden ruffle of Rosalie's newspaper cut the mood quickly. The blonde had thrown her paper back onto the coffee table and swiftly left the room. A sour expression all over her features. More than surely directed at Bella.

Emmett saw Bella's mood fall too. „Don't worry about it."

Edward turned toward Jasper. „Any leads?" He wanted to change the topic, but Bella simply followed Rosalie out to the porch.

„No sign of the intruder. But Victoria continues to make appearances."

Emmett pushed himself onto the counter to sit. „I can't wait for next week. Finally at least a day without having to stand watch."

„Oh?", Sascha blinked in surprise, then snapped her fingers. „Ah, it's graduation, right?"

„Right", Jasper said, not looking excited at all. „Everybody will be in one place."

Emmett nudged Sascha's shoulder with his fist. „You should come with us! We could totally tell people you're a distant cousin visiting from abroad."

„I'd love to, but I don't think it's a good idea. If anyone recognises my face from the missing people cases, we'll run into a tonne of uncomfortable questions."

Carlisle nodded. „I agree."

Emmett pouted like a hurt puppy. „Wait, so you won't be joining Alice's party either?"

„Nah, you go have some fun. I might just join the after party", Sascha said with a laugh.

„I'm still not sure if a party is a good idea." Edward's quick glance in Jasper's direction didn't go unnoticed by the others.

„It will be good for Bella." Carlisle put a hand on Edward's shoulder. „A nice way for her to celebrate this chapter of her life coming to a close."

„I won't be attending, if that's what you're worried about." Jasper still stood stiffly near the entrance. His tone wasn't accusing, but there was some sort of bite to it. „If you'll excuse me." His eyes found Sascha's last and gave her the tiniest nod before he went upstairs.

Emmett gave a sarcastic clap. „Good job, Eddie."

„I didn't-"

„-You didn't need to."

Sascha leaned a little toward Carlisle. „Should I be understanding this unresolved tension?"

„I'm sure you'll find out sooner or later." Carlisle reached for his first aid kit and gave her upper arm a light squeeze. „But it's not my story to tell. I'll be back in my study if anyone needs me."

Suddenly, Emmett's large arm slung itself around Sascha's shoulders, basically crushing her to his side. „So, about that nose thing-"

Sascha squeaked loudly, the sound followed by a crack and she stood in Edward's place. „No, not a chance."

The two guys detangled themselves quickly.

Edward sent her a glare. „Would you not always switch with me?"

„Stop whining", Sascha quickly jumped back towards the stairs, „That's only half of the karma you should be getting for always mind snooping." Her nose scrunched in a hidden smirk at Edward's look of distaste. „I'm gonna go find Alice."

***

„Are you sure no one should stay back and keep you company?" Alice moved one of her horses across the board.

„I'm sure", Sascha glanced up from their round of chess and smiled reassuringly before inspecting the board again, „I wouldn't want you to miss out on it."

Jasper, who was sitting on one of Alice's armchairs, lowered his book with a snort. „You do realise we've graduated plenty of times?"

„Sure." Sascha moved her rook and took one of Alice's bishops. „But this is the first one with Bella. You should experience it together. I won't die if I spend a day alone."

Alice pouted, partly also due to losing her bishop. „I'll still feel guilty. I don't want you to feel excluded."

„Don't worry." Sascha smirked in Jasper's direction. „I'll just harass Jasper while you're having fun partying."

He just breathed out a laugh and turned a page in his book. „Lucky me."

Sascha grabbed one of Alice's pawns she had captured during one of her earlier moves and chucked it in his direction. He caught it easily.

Alice sighed and took Sascha's last remaining horse with her queen. „Well, at least I don't have to worry about either of you being bored during the party."

Sascha grinned, she had been wanting to have her horse taken 3 moves ago, and took Alice's queen with her bishop. Alice gasped in shock. „Guess you didn't see this one coming."

Alice gave a fake whine, before a giggle escaped her act. „It's not how my visions work."

***

Chapter Text

A Warm Gift

It was one of the few occasions that Sascha found herself alone at the house. Carlisle had left for work that morning, the others for school, and Esme had excused herself as well before driving off. To the supermarket of all places. Sascha had only realised the absurdity of it when Esme was already far off the driveway.

Sascha reckoned it was probably to stock up for when Bella stayed over. In the meantime, she retreated back to Carlisle's office. After sorting some of the books she had read back to where they belonged, she browsed his shelves for a few more to follow up on. A specific book centring on the collection of vampiric gifts and powers caught her eye fairly quickly. With it, she settled down in the living room and got comfortable on the couch, deeply immersed in the recollection of many different gifts throughout the centuries.

Apparently, there were some theorists out there suggesting that a lot of gifts, especially those manifesting on the more physical side, could actually be rooted in the laws of physics. And, as such, could be studied and developed accordingly.

Fascinating.

The mere magnitude of different types of gifts had her mind swirling equally. So far, she had only come in contact with the ones Jasper, Edward and Alice had. And all of theirs were of the mental nature. Well… she did have an eternity to waste her time with. She would probably encounter one or the other vampire with a physically expressing gift.

She'd have to talk to her aunt's ex-wife, Melanie, about this at some point. They had separated years ago, but still remained in good, albeit somewhat distant contact with each other, and in turn Sascha and her father had too. Melanie had several PhD's in the physics field as far as Sascha could remember. Under the guise of being interested in theories in general, the chances were not low that Sascha could get one or two revelations out of her.

The sound of a car approaching got her out of her musings. Esme must be returning. It was too early for any of the others. It didn't take long before the woman in question really did step through the garage door into the house - and Sascha, deeply mistaken in her assumption the groceries being merely for Bella, immediately set her book down when she saw Esme gliding in with groceries worth for at least 30 people, bags expertly stacked on her arms.

„Oh my god, do you need help?!"

Esme's soft chuckle made Sascha realise that the question was technically obsolete. It wasn't like the items were actually heavy for her. Nevertheless, probably out of Esme's kind heart to spare Sascha the (unnecessary) embarrassment, she nodded.

„That would be great, dear. There are some more bags in the car."

Sascha nodded with a sheepish smile and sped over to the car, eyes widening a little more when she spotted 10 more bags on the backseat. Gathering them in her hands as well, she quickly made her way after Esme to the kitchen, the latter already unpacking heaps of vegetables and fruit.

„Esme?", slowly, Sascha set the bags down, confusion the only thing on her mind, „What is all this?"

Esme smiled warmly at her, not stopping with her unpacking. She was already placing specific items together in groups. „I've found I haven't quite lost my love for cooking not too long ago. Naturally, we can't eat it, and I could never let all the food go to waste just to fulfil a mere hobby either, soo", she stacked some boxes with fresh tomatoes to the side, „I made it a habit to donate it to the food assistance centre."

Sascha felt at awe at the woman in front of her, mouth agape in adoration. „Esme, that is… that is just beautiful."

Esme laughed softly at that, neatly folding some of the now empty bags. „You're welcome to help me, if you'd like."

„Definitely! I'd love to."

„I'm glad, dear", Esme's smile could put the sun to shame. „How does a round of sweet potato stew sound for the start?"

„Absolutely mouth watering."

Together, they unpacked the rest of the many bags and Sascha moved quickly to sort them according to Esme's instructions and meal planning. Esme said she'd always try to focus on preparing meals that could easily be re-heated or eaten cold, and contained lots of fresh and healthy ingredients to ensure a certain level of nutrition supply.

For that day, she had planned for the already mentioned stew, chicken soup, stir fries that would be left to be prepared by the people receiving the ingredients if they wished, vegetable lasagna, and apple and plum pie for the sweet tooth.

And while they peeled, cut and cooked together, they talked. Esme freely told Sascha a lot about her family. How, in the 1920s, Carlisle had turned her to save her from severe injuries she had sustained after an accident, although Esme had not disclosed the nature of that accident. How she then joined Carlisle and Edward in their little, patchwork like family. How she and Carlisle fell in love and eventually married. And so on.

Sascha found it rather interesting to hear the story she technically already knew, but from Esme's point of view. Like a puzzle piece to their story.

Sascha was in the midst of cutting up vegetables for the broth, mindful to not destroy the wooden cutting board, when a question popped up in her head. „So, what did you do before this life? When you were still human?"

„It's hard to say, I'm afraid", Esme admitted and set up a big pot with water, „It's all quite fuzzy from before I was turned. My memory. It was better right after I became this, but with the years passing, so did most of my memories. It's common for our kind."

Sascha nodded in understanding. „I think I read something about that in one of Carlisle's books. Only very strong impressions really ever stay, right?"

„Exactly. It's a shame really. I think I was a teacher at some point? Either that, or I wished for it a lot, maybe both."

„I can imagine you were a wonderful teacher back then." As a child, Sascha would've loved to have her as a teacher. No doubt.

Esme gifted her with yet another warm smile. „I'm honoured you think so highly of me, Sascha."

„You are preparing dozens and dozens of meals to help other people in need", Sascha breathed out a laugh, „You are an angel."

„Truth be told", Esme grabbed the bowl of freshly cut soup greens and stirred it into the then boiling water, „I seemed to have been quite the troublemaker in my youth. At least if I trust the words of my dear husband."

Sascha gasped lightly. „He knew you?"

„He was a doctor already back then. He admitted to me decades into our relationship how a certain young girl had been brought to his office one day, a broken leg from trying to climb a tree."

„And that was you", Sascha concluded with a smile.

„And that was me", Esme nodded fondly, „Hadn't Carlisle said anything I would've never remembered. After he mentioned it, some of it came back to me, but not more than a weak brain fog."

„Did Carlisle ever remember anything from his time as a human?"

Esme gave a sympathetic shake of her head. „Not much either. He got turned in England back then, which has him quite certain that he is originally from there. Travelling across the oceans, or the continents, was not the norm for people back in the 17th century."

„Makes sense", Sascha moved to cut even more vegetables for the stir fry then, portioning them in separate Tupperware containers, „It really is a shame… to have so many years of your life fade away?"

„Do you still remember a lot?"

„As clear as ever. I was already confused when I read about this 'phenomenon' in the books."

„It does take some time, dear", Esme reached a hand out to softly brush across Sascha's cheekbone with her knuckles, „Your own blood is still fresh within you, so are your memories. How about you start a journal soon? Write down your memories from your human life and preserve them."

Sascha smiled at the thought. „That's a good idea."

„Is there anything you hold in particularly fond memory?"

Sascha appreciated the elegance of her question. Interested, but not invasive to a specific thing. She did find it extraordinarily easy to talk to Esme, her warmth and comfort made it so. It was a gift entirely on its own.

„Hm", she considered for a moment, „It must be the day my father took me to his workshop for the first time. He let me collect and sort out all the different kinds of nails and bolts. He is a carpenter."

Esme hummed in reply. „You are quite close with your father." It wasn't a question.

„Yeah", Sascha was glad the thought didn't make her sad at that moment. „We had our rough patches, but always got through them eventually. Now, we're actually quite a good team."

„That is wonderful to hear, Sascha." Esme added a bunch of different spices to her soup with calculated precision. „So, is your father the reason for your affinity of sculpted art?"

Sascha snorted out a laugh at that. „I wouldn't call it art yet but-"

„-Nonsense! I've seen you work on them so carefully these past few afternoons. What you manage to carve out of a mere stone," Esme breathed out an almost dreamy sigh, „it's truly beautiful."

„Thank you", Sascha finally accepted, a small, content smile on her face, „I do feel like I'm just starting to learn it again, to be honest. It's different now than it was before I- you know. It does help me to focus though. It calms me down."

Esme nodded in understanding. „I can imagine."

Sascha stilled her knife for a moment. „And yes, my father was the gateway, if you will", they shared a laugh, „I would always steal spare wood or scraps that came from his works and spend my time in his workshop with him. It resulted in forgotten homework quite often."

They kept talking for hours, eventually cooking through all of the bags Esme had brought back to the house. By the time the others got back from school, Sascha was pulling out the last pies from the oven, more than excited that she was able to do so without any oven gloves.

„Look at you being a wonder in the kitchen, Sherlock."

Sascha had to shake her head with a smile when she heard Emmett's booming voice behind her.

Esme playfully flicked a kitchen towel in his direction. „She was of tremendous help", she scolded with a smile.

„I wouldn't dare to discredit her."

Sascha carefully placed the pies on the stove to cool off and turned to make a face at Emmett. „Of course you wouldn't."

The others watched in amusement, Rosalie pulling at Emmett's waist with the ghost of a smile, raining him in. As if that were possible.

Sascha noticed Edward's absence then. Before she could ask however, Alice already raised a dainty finger.

„Bella will be coming over with Edward soon, do you want to join us for a hunt?"

Made sense. Both Alice's and Jasper's eyes were dipping to the blacker side, rather than golden, as must her own. Better not have a human come over in that state. It was more comfortable for everyone involved. „Sure, let's go."

Alice clapped her hands together excitedly and leaned over to link her arm with Sascha's, obviously very ready to go.

„Have fun", Esme smiled at the group in front of her, and affectionately pushed a strand of Sascha's hair behind her ear, „Thank you for your help. I enjoyed having your company."

Sascha felt warmth spread in her chest once more. It had been a while since she had been able to spend time with a motherly figure such as her. „So did I."

***

Chapter Text

Now, on with the chapter: 

***

10. Party Crasher Pt. 1

Sascha heard the Cullens coming back before she saw them through one of the big windows. She was just getting done tying the last balloons and garlands together, balancing on a stool to pin it to a corner high at the wall. Alice had only told her of her decoration plans, but Sascha figured she'd just go ahead with all the time she had on her hands.

And, to be truthful to herself, Sascha had also wanted to try out how quick she could get things done with this vampire speed. So far there had been nothing to clean or tidy up. That had been her moment. And she found out: she could get done a lot.

When the others came in through the garage door, Sascha smiled at them over her shoulder, finished off fastening the garlands. Then, she jumped down from the stool and spread her arms theatrically. „Ta-da."

Alice gasped loudly as her hands flew to her mouth, everyone entering further to look around, each in their own level of surprise. Sascha took the moment to inspect her work herself, hands clasped behind her back, and nodded in satisfaction.

The entire lower and first floor were covered in fancy silver and white balloons and fitting garlands. Fairy lights were hanging from the ceilings, more lights strategically placed around each and every corner. Dry flowers were wrapped in delicate bouquets and decorated the counters and coffee tables, some were placed on the stairs. Others she had also wrapped and draped with the fairy lights, creating soft hues of orange, yellows and purples glowing through the dried petals, complimenting the cooler tones of silver and white. More fairy lights adorned the handrail all the way to the first floor. The place was downright sparkling.

„Oh my god, Sascha." Suddenly, Alice flung herself in Sascha's direction, her yellow graduation cap dropping off her head, and almost tackled the newer vampire to the ground, hugging her fiercely around the waist.

Sascha bent down a little and carefully hugged her back, well aware that her strength was still enhanced from her newborn status, smiling happily. „I assume you like it?"

Alice hugged her even tighter. „I love it!"

Sascha looked up at the others and grinned.

Esme wrapped an arm around Carlisle's middle and smiled fondly at the scene in front of them, so did her husband. Emmett looked around excitedly, similar to Bella just a little more muted in the human's case. Sascha was pleased to see a soft, almost content appreciation on Rosalie's usually reserved face. Jasper looked like he was taking in all the positive emotions around him, good for him. Even Edward was able to muster the ghost of a smile.

„I can smile."

Sascha cocked an eyebrow at the mindreader. „Mhm."

Alice let go then and flitted out of their sight, inspecting everything more closely. Her excited squeals echoed around the house. „Oh God, this is even better than what I had imagined."

Sascha chuckled fondly and stepped closer to the others. „Had I known this would make her so happy, I would've decorated the house much earlier, just for fun."

„Alice loves throwing parties", Emmett explained with a smirk.

„How was the ceremony?"

Jasper took his cap off his head and ran his fingers through his hair. „One of the less dull ones."

„At least the speech wasn't particularly horrible." Rosalie moved up the stairs then, probably to get out of their graduation robes, which she was pinching with a look of distaste on her face. „But this colour…"

Sascha jabbed Emmett with her elbow and peered at Bella with a smirk. „Hey, did Bella stumble when she went to take her certificate?"

Emmett barked out a laugh. „No, she didn't."

„Ah dang it-"

„Hey!"

„-whoa." Sascha playfully dodged Bella's hand as she tried to swing for the back of her head. „Punching werewolves and now vampires, huh?"

Bella only rolled her eyes at her with a small smile.

Sascha grinned and opened her arms for a hug, which, albeit a bit awkwardly, Bella accepted. „Congratulations on your graduation."

„Thank you."

„Hey! What about us?", Emmett exclaimed in feigned outrage.

„I'll congratulate you for your 50th graduation, okay?"

„Har-har."

Sascha stuck her tongue out to him childishly. „Just go and relax with your lovely wife and be happy you don't have to help decorating anymore."

Emmett made a face back at her, but then decided to follow on her thought and sped up the stairs. The other's also made to tend to their own matters.

Esme patted Sascha's cheek fondly. „This is great." She then vanished to the kitchen. Sascha remembered Alice telling her that Esme had taken the task of providing food for the party guests.

Sascha turned to Jasper, intending to tell him about her plans for passing the time during the party, but cut herself off when he just smirked weirdly at something behind her.

Then, suddenly, Sascha felt something latch onto her back. She would've dissolved into shock had she not been able to match the scent to Alice immediately. „Ma'am, if my heart were still beating it sure would've stopped now."

„This is all so perfect, Sascha, thank you."

„At least something I can give back to you all."

„Nonsense." Alice pressed her cheek to Sascha's affectionately and squeezed her shoulders one more time before letting go and dropping down to her feet again. „You do plenty."

Sascha smiled at her with a hum, and then stuffed her hands into her sweater pockets. „Alright then, for the next couple hours, you'll be finding me on the roof until after the party is over", she glanced at Jasper, „If anyone feels like joining me, I'll be providing books, blankets and card games." She turned to speed up the stairs.

„Yes, ma'am."

Sascha could hear the smirk.

She swiftly made her way up to her room, grabbed the few items she wanted up with her, made sure her door was locked so no snoopy graduates would barge in there and finally climbed up the roof from her balcony. To say she didn't feel at least a little bit like a weird version of Father Christmas, with her stuff wrapped into a blanket and it all slung over her shoulder, would have been a lie.

She set up ‚camp' easily, strategically placed by the chimney - Father Christmas much - so the coming guests would not spy her up there. Heaven forbid anyone would disturb her cozy calm. She had brought two extra blankets and some pillows which she randomly spread around her, immediately wrapping one of the blankets around her shoulders. Positioned with her legs crossed, she stuck her nose into yet another one of Carlisle's books - it dated back to the 14th century with the main focus on the Volturi and their rule. She had been reading up on them more - if they were in any way connected to whatever was going on, she needed to be informed.

About three hours later, the sun was slowly starting to set, she could hear the first few cars closing in from the distance. She had to say she was impressed that anyone even found the way. She would've surely gotten lost in the woods.

And soon enough, a thud close to her announced Jasper's arrival on the roof.

„And so it begins", Sascha mused with a smile and looked over her shoulder, then her mouth fell open in surprise. „Oh my God, you didn't."

Jasper held two steaming mugs of tea in his hands, one of his books stuck between his arm and upper body, and reached one over to her while he took his own seat. „We can't drink it, but someone deemed it necessary for reading."

„You are so sweet." Sascha's face almost split with a smile as she held her nose into the steam and inhaled deeply. Classic black tea. „I didn't even know we had tea."

„We didn't. I asked Esme to bring some." He smiled a little sheepishly and set his mug aside. „I had almost forgotten how to even make tea."

Sascha sputtered a laugh and quickly covered her mouth to silence herself. „You are not serious."

„It has been 140 years since I last had to prepare anything consumable."

„Jasper", Sascha looked at him with a raised eyebrow, she wasn't able to hide her mirth. „It's hot water."

„Excuse me, Darlin', the memory is a fiddle thing", he mumbled into his smirk.

„Well, you did formidable", Sascha dropped the act then, shooting him a genuine smile. She was quite sure he could feel her gratitude. „Thank you, honestly."

„You are quite welcome, Sascha."

They fell into a comfortable silence then, both reading their own literature for some time.

Sascha reached a particularly nasty chapter about the Volturi reign. Immortal children, and how they were quickly eradicated. „Boah…"

„What was that?"

„Oh, just… the Volturi know no chill, do they?"

Jasper chuckled darkly at her choice of words. „To put it lightly."

More cars were pulling in, the house was already quite crowded by then. Had Alice invited every teenager in town? Probably. It was Alice after all.

She noticed Jasper shift uncomfortably next to her, lifting a hand to scratch his throat subconsciously.

Sascha set her book down worriedly. „Are you okay?"

„It's just… a lot of heartbeats down there." Jasper frowned, as though in deep concentration.

She nodded, understanding the issue immediately. „Yeah, it is getting a lot." She closed her book then and put it to the side to grab her mug, which was now cold, more out of habit than anything else and turned fully toward Jasper. „Do you need some sort of… I don't know, distraction?"

„I shouldn't be needing that", Jasper muttered tightly. „I should handle this better."

There was this bite in his voice again that Sascha had picked up on after Bella's hand was magically un-broken.

„There's nothing you need to be ashamed of."

Jasper scoffed suddenly. Sascha tried not to take it personally. „Oh, there is plenty."

„You can tell me if you want."

Jasper finally looked at her then, eyes dark, but not with his craving for blood. There seemed to be something deeper there. Some long rooted shame. He seemed to contemplate. Unsure.

„I beat up one of my classmates once", Sascha blurted out suddenly, Jasper blinked in confusion. „He had said something about my backpack I think. I don't even remember anymore. But I do remember he lost one of his teeth when we pushed each other to the ground. I got two weeks of detention and a month worth of house arrest. My parents had divorced about a year before that and I was struggling a lot with it, and I took it out on others. I lost control more times than I could count. It took a long time before I eventually got better."

Jasper listened to her every word, she could tell. It was a silly story really, she knew that. She hoped he knew that too.

„I don't mean to say that this is in any way comparable to-"

„I attacked Bella last year, at her birthday party."

„Oh."

„She cut her finger on some wrapping paper, and I just… snapped", Jasper heaved a deep sigh and dropped his book to the side. „It was the first slip up I had had in over 60 years. The others were able to drag me out before anything happened."

„So that was what Edward's comment was directed at earlier?"

Jasper nodded grimly. „Edward made us leave after it happened. He broke up with Bella and we all packed our things and left." He paused for a few beats, frowning deeply. „I just shouldn't be struggling with this anymore. It's been more than enough time."

„You spent almost… what, the first 80 years of this life living very differently, Jasper. I mean I still don't understand how this entire vampire existence is supposed to work, but I can imagine that all this time this life brings with it also means that habits take more time before they can be changed."

„This is a habit that involves human lives though. It's not so simple."

„Of course", Sascha raised her hands quickly. „I didn't mean to talk it down, I'm sorry. I just- obviously this is something that not just you struggle with. When I look at the lack of control the others had, or the surprise that everyone in your family had concerning me. I think any one of them would struggle if a human bled in their presence."

Jasper hummed quietly then, nodding slowly. „They did."

Sascha tilted her head a little. „What do you mean?"

„Usually they never struggle with a lot of humans around. But when Bella cut herself, they did."

„And you could feel that?"

Jasper tried to put his half-smirk on his face, but it looked like a forced grimace. „You forgot about my gift, Darlin'?"

„No, but I think you did." She continued when Jasper only blinked at her in confusion. „You mean to say other people's bloodlust is also something you can feel with your gift?"

„Where are you going with this?"

„Didn't you say your gift is sometimes quite a struggle because the emotions of others tend to get overwhelming? Bella cut her finger in a room with six other vampires. So… doesn't that also mean you didn't have to deal with just your own bloodlust, but also theirs?"

Jasper grew completely silent then, he just stared at her, face blank. It was probably only a couple of seconds, but it felt a lot longer to Sascha. His staring almost made her uncomfortable. Had she said something wrong? Had she overstepped?

Then, he finally spoke.

„I never considered that, I'm afraid."

Sascha didn't know how to feel about that really. She felt sad for him, but also a bit frustrated, maybe even mad, that seemingly no-one had been able to connect that link until now. „Were you alone during the slip up you said you had before that?"

Jasper shook his head, and rubbed his hands over his face. It seemed like an infinite amount of exhaustion was suddenly weighing down on him. „I was not."

„God, and all this time you thought…", Sascha put a hand on his lower arm. „I'm so sorry."

„It certainly makes some things more clear." Jasper's expression seemed carefully guarded. Most likely trying to come to terms with that entire notion. „It's always been a little easier when Carlisle's present. Now that I think of it, his complete lack of temptation would always be calming to me. It's similar with you, too-" He cut himself off suddenly and tensed, tilting his head.

Sascha sat up straighter too, alerted. „What is it? Did you hear something?"

„No, it's Alice", he muttered, most likely trying to pin point Alice's emotions. „Let's go."

***

Chapter Text

Sascha sat up straighter too, alerted. „What is it? Did you hear something?"

„No, it's Alice", he muttered, most likely trying to pin point Alice's emotions. „Let's go."

***

„What about the guests?" Sascha focused on the noise coming from inside the house, filtering out the voices she knew. The hushed voices of Alice and Bella stuck out. „Ah."

Jasper had done the same. „We'll stay on the top floor."

Sascha nodded and followed after Jasper. They dropped down the roof to the balcony connected to his room and rushed to the door to find the others. And sure enough, they were already gathering in one of the attic rooms. Including Jacob and two other guys from his pack. Sascha shared an uncomfortable look with Jasper before they, too, slipped into the room. Sascha closed the door behind her.

Jasper immediately moved over to Alice. „What's going on?"

„I just had a vision", Alice's voice was shaking. Her pupils had shrunk to an impossibly small size, brows pulled up in a look of terror. Sascha didn't need to be an empath to know how deeply shaken she actually was. „The newborns… they changed course. They are coming. They'll be here in four days."

„Holy shit." Sascha leaned the back of her head against the door. Shocked.

Carlisle stopped his pacing and leaned against the table that Bella and Edward were sitting on. „This could turn into a bloodbath."

Edward turned to look at Alice. „Who's behind it?"

„I didn't see anyone I recognised", Alice paused for a moment. „Maybe one."

Edward seemed to search her mind for the person she was referring to, then nodded briefly. „I know his face. He's local", he looked at Sascha, „Riley Biers."

Sascha pushed herself off the door to stand straight. „Biers?" And then it hit her like a brick wall. „Of course… How can I be so stupid." She slapped her forehead quite hard. „God, I should've known. His pictures were all over Seattle."

Alice reached a hand out to her. Sascha stepped forward and let herself be pulled between Alice and Jasper. „You had other stuff to worry about."

Edward shook his head. „And he didn't start this."

„Whoever did is staying out of the action", Alice said.

Carlisle frowned, considering the facts at hand. „They must be playing with the blindspots in your vision."

„Either way, the army is coming and there aren't enough of us to protect the town." Jasper's voice seemed strained, tensed.

Jacob took a step forward then. „Hold up. What damn army?"

„Newborns", Carlisle stated simply. „Our kind."

One of Jacob's friends, Sascha didn't know his name, shook his head in confusion. „What are they after?"

„They were passing around Bella's scent." Alice looked at Bella. „A red blouse."

Sascha frowned deeply. „That must've been the reason why Riley broke into your house in the first place."

„They're after Bella? What the hell does that mean?" Jacob seemed more agitated by the second.

Even given the situation, Sascha did not appreciate his tone. Why was he even at the party? After what he'd done-

„It means an ugly fight. With lives lost", Carlisle said tightly.

Jacob and his two friends shared a look, all three of them nodding at each other after a few beats of silence. Jacob then turned back to the others. „Alright. We're in."

„No!", Bella interrupted immediately. „You'll get yourselves killed. No way!"

„I wasn't asking for permission."

Sascha scoffed. „What a surprise."

„And who are you?", Jacob snapped at her.

Ignoring them, Bella turned to her partner for support. „Edward?"

The mind reader remained silent for a few seconds, contemplating. „It means more protection for you."

„Jacob? Do you think Sam will agree to", Carlisle pondered for the right word, „an understanding?"

„As long as we get to kill some vampires." For some reason, Jacob glanced at Sascha then.

She had to swallow really hard to contain the snarl working its way up her throat. That was new. She had never had the urge to make that sound before.

Carlisle turned to their residential strategy expert. „Jasper?"

„They'll give us the numbers. The newborns won't know they even exist. That'll give us an edge."

„We'll need to coordinate."

Bella stood up quickly. „Carlisle, they're gonna get hurt."

„We'll all need some training." Carlisle seemed to understand her worries, but the situation was too critical to refuse any kind of help they could get. He turned to the three pack members again. „Fighting newborns requires knowledge that Jasper has. You're welcome to join us."

„Right", Jacob took a step forward. „Name the time and place."

„Jake", Bella tried again to reason with him. „You don't know what you're getting yourselves into."

„Bella, this is what we do. You should be happy. Look at us, working together. You are the one that wanted us to get along, remember?"

Sascha couldn't believe her ears. „Oh, quit gaslighting her, you prick."

„Seriously, what's your problem, huh?"

„You, to be frank, and your fucking attitude."

„Careful, Red Eye", Jacob spat at her and stepped closer. „You don't even know me."

Sascha scoffed and got into his face, back straight and shoulders squared. She was a bit taller than him and she was gonna use it. Two could play that game. „Enough to know that your lowlife of an ego is too busy making a pissing contest to realise that Bella only worries about you, even after you fucking forced yourself on her. So", her glare got darker as her irises dipped into a deep orange. „You be careful. Before I forget myself. And I'm not telling you this as a vampire."

Sascha could hear the growl building up in the back of Jacob's throat, could feel the heat from his skin rising in temperature. She almost wished for him to give her a reason.

However, to her admittedly childish disappointment, Jacob turned to his pack members and nodded towards the door once. Before they were out of the room, Jacob glanced at Carlisle again. „See you during training."

And they were gone.

Sascha released a breath she didn't need, a colourful variety of curse words right at the forefront of her head. „That was pleasant."

„We need to focus our energies", Carlisle said. „Alice, I think it's best if the party comes to a close now."

Alice nodded, obviously still shaken up. Sascha wished she could help her closing up the scene, but she still couldn't let herself be seen by anyone.

„We'll help", Bella quickly offered.

Alice took it gratefully, linked her arm with Bella and left to go downstairs, Edward right behind them.

What a hideous reason for having to cut the party short.

Carlisle looked at the remaining two. „I'll inform the others. It's best if we all meet in the living room by dawn."

Jasper nodded like a soldier, Sascha was half surprised he didn't salute. „Understood."

„We should all rest, mentally, gather our strengths", Carlisle put a hand on both of their shoulders, worry etched all over his features, „I doubt the coming days will spare much time."

Sascha nodded, deep in thought. „I'll just quickly clean up the roof."

Carlisle gave each of their shoulders a squeeze, then all of them left the room.

Jasper gingerly touched her upper arm before they parted ways in the corridor. He went to his room and Sascha quickly did as she had planned, and brought her stuff back down from the roof. She put it all on her couch unceremoniously, sitting down on the floor in front of it. Suddenly everything was getting into action. She was reminded again how deeply upsetting the entire situation was, even if she had been waiting for a resolution for months now. They had always known that it wouldn't end without a fight.

In that moment she wished for it all to take more time. It all seemed so definite. Because it was.

The house was quiet then. Whatever reason the others had used to make the guests leave, it had worked.

Sascha sat there for a while, contemplating without processing any of her thoughts. She could've stopped existing for a moment, she wouldn't have noticed. A knock brought her back.

„Hm?"

The door opened a little and Jasper poked his head in carefully. „May I come in?"

„Of course." Sascha moved to the side a little, gesturing for him to take a seat next to her. She giggled softly when she saw what he was holding in his hands. A Uno card pack.

Jasper closed the door behind him and lifted the cards a little. „I come to retrieve my promised card game." He settled down beside her, back leaned against the couch.

Sascha appreciated that he did not comment on the utter mess on the couch behind them.

„Is this the time for card games?"

Jasper smirked again then, and it was a real one, even if a little weaker than usual. „When is it not?"

„Point taken", Sascha moved to sit cross legged in front of him as he started to shuffle the cards and then deal them out. „Where's Alice?"

„With Esme and Carlisle. I told her I'd come check on you, she might join later."

Sascha nodded, glad that Alice wasn't alone and he had made sure of that first. But also that she wasn't trapped in her own head anymore for the time being.

They started playing then, they both knew it was just to distract themselves a little while longer of what was to come. But, in that moment, it was all any of them could do really. The real bitter work would start with the next sunrise. Training, until it was time for the real conflict.

But the distraction was good. They played several rounds, sabotaging each other, even if it came at the cost of their own points. Laughing, teasing. It helped.

Alice did join them not too long after, the sun wasn't up yet at least. She still looked shaken up, but less so and simply sat down next to Sascha, wanting to watch them play.

„Uno!", Sascha slammed down her second to last card again, and then gasped at Jasper's expression. „Oh no, don't you dare. Please don't!"

„Sorry, Darlin', it's the game."

He was not sorry at all, snickering almost like a happy child when he flicked down a +4. Sascha whined immaturely, making his amusement all the bigger, and begrudgingly drew her four cards, destroying her lead yet again.

And then Jasper even took it a step further by laying down a suspension card, making the count on his hand 3.

„Oh my god, you bastard", Sascha gasped. „I swear, I'll get you for this."

All three laughed freely then, the situation just too ridiculous. Sascha hid her face behind her cards a little, leaning back when chuckles rippled through her. And suddenly, because apparently she wasn't allowed to have good things for longer than five minutes, a thought hit her.

Her and Jasper's laughter stopped simultaneously, Alice's a moment after.

„What is it?" There was deep worry in Jasper's voice. Of course he would've felt her shift.

„I'm… I'm going to miss this." Sascha lowered her cards to her lap.

Alice moved a little closer to her. „What do you mean?"

„After all of this is over", Sascha paused, then looked at the two of them. „I just noticed how attached I've grown to… being here."

Jasper set his cards down completely. The game was over, apparently. „The world becomes quite small when you have an eternity to spend in it."

Alice nodded, though sadness seemed to pull at her brows too. „We can… visit. Or you us."

Sascha felt the familiar burn behind her eyes yet again. She had learned from Esme at some point it was their venom. Great. „Yeah, I guess."

Alice leaned in to hug her side then, squeezing Sascha tightly as though even the clairvoyant was afraid for a moment she would simply vanish. It seemed all of them had successfully ignored their temporary situation. Sascha had grown so close to the Cullens, especially Jasper and Alice, in such a short time. Thinking about it then surprised Sascha even a little bit.

She hadn't realised when exactly her mere tolerance of staying due to lack of alternatives had changed to reluctance of leaving. To whole heartedly enjoying daily life with them. From foreign to familiarity. It had completely slipped her otherwise oh so meticulous attention. It seemed she hadn't been the only one to be blind sided by this change.

Sascha, not having much other mobility in her arms with the way Alice had wrapped herself around her, lifted her hands and grabbed Alice's lower arm, as though to hide away in Alice's embrace even further, and closed her eyes. Could this moment not last forever?

Another pair of arms wrapped around her then - the two of them, Sascha realised - as Jasper pulled them both close as well. He did not take away Sascha's momentary heartache, and she was glad for it. She knew she needed to feel it in the moment. But she could still feel him, like she had noticed on other occasions before, just on the edges of her emotional periphery. It gave her great comfort.

Sascha rested her head against his chest, accepting their embrace fully, and tried to take it all in. Having these two wonderful people with her. Glad that she not only sought their support, but they also opened their vulnerabilities to her. And in this moment, the three of them sharing it together.

Maybe it would be okay. At least for the moment, in their own little eternity. Maybe that would have to be enough.

***

Chapter Text

12. Training

„Why is he doing that to himself?" Sascha's voice was low when she leaned a little closer to Rosalie, gaze fixed on Emmet's form as he scrambled to pick himself off the ground.

„If only I knew."

„I heard that!"

Sascha crossed her arms with a smirk. „You were meant to."

„Watch it, Sherlock, you're next", Emmett was so frustrated his voice came out pressed, then he faced Jasper once more. „Come on, Hale. Another round."

Jasper chuckled. „As you wish."

Sascha and the rest of the Cullen family, minus Edward and Bella, watched in different levels of amusement as the two adopted brothers went at each other again. Emmett still seemed to miss the part where he was supposed to utilise actual strategy, not just brute strength. It was an easy task for the ex-soldier to twist out of Emmett's way, grab him by the collar and toss him back over the field in a high curve.

Sascha snickered. „Jasper six, Emmett zerooo."

„Again!" Emmett picked himself up again, but before he or Jasper could get into proper position again, Edward and Bella pulled up to their training site in a jeep.

Jasper dropped his stance then and looked back at Emmett over his shoulder when he went to stand with the others. „You'll have another chance."

Emmett just grumbled unintelligibly and moved to stand next to Rosalie. She and Sascha exchanged a bemused glance.

„Aww, poor Rocky", Sascha cooed and playfully raised her fists at him.

„Shut it." Emmett tried to grab at her, with a ghost of a smile Sascha spotted, but she quickly dodged away from him.

Esme chuckled, an arm around Carlisle's waist. „Kids, behave."

Sascha gave a small wave to Bella when she and Edward joined them. The group was quickly distracted though as heavy footsteps sounded deep in the forest, Sascha's nose twitched as a wet dog smell wafted through the air. The wolves.

It took mere seconds until the pack emerged from between the trees.

„Wow", Sascha gasped and gently pushed past Jasper and Alice to take a step closer. The wolves were huge, magnificent creatures in her eyes. Despite what the legends seemed to dictate about their supposed hatred for each other, she wanted nothing more than to cuddle one of them. She quickly raised a finger in Edward's direction, having heard him inhaling to speak. „Don't."

Edward breathed a scoff through his nose in defeat. To his luck, he spoke of something else then.

„They don't trust us enough to be in their human forms."

Alice moved toward Bella, seeing as her partner's focus was needed elsewhere, keeping her company. Sascha could see how uncomfortable Bella was with the situation. She probably still thought it was all her fault.

„They came, that's what matters", Carlisle stepped forward and glanced at Edward briefly. „Will you translate?" When Edward nodded in confirmation, Carlisle continued. „Welcome. Jasper has experience with newborns. He can teach us how to defeat them."

A brief pause followed, Sascha carefully observed each of the wolves and noticed they stood in formation with the darkest of them standing point. He was probably their leader. Her assumption was further proven when the wolf in question growled softly, eyes fixed on Edward, waiting for the vampire to read his mind. Which he did.

Edward looked at Carlisle. „They want to know how the newborns differ from us."

„They're a great deal stronger than us. Because their own human blood still lingers in their tissues. Our kind is never more physically powerful than in our first several months in this life." Carlisle suddenly gestured over to Sascha, startling her. She hadn't expected to be addressed yet. „Sascha here is still of newborn status herself. It will be good for you to study her speed and strength. It will show you what to expect."

Sascha gave a timid, very unnecessary wave to the wolves, and immediately cringed at herself for it. Jasper snickered under his breath, but quickly cleared his throat when he stepped forward to take Carlisle's place.

„Carlisle's right. Newborns' power is why they're created. A newborn army doesn't need thousands like a human army. And no human army could stand against them." He spoke slow and calculated, pacing between the two groups slowly, back stiff. Definitely in his soldier persona. „Now, the two most important things to remember are first: Never let them get their arms around you. They'll crush you instantly. Second: Never go for the obvious kill. They'll be expecting that." He fixed his gaze on the wolves directly. „And you will lose. Emmett!"

Emmett, quite eagerly so, walked over to his spot, as did Jasper. The latter's grin could not be described as anything other than downright shit eating.

„Don't hold back."

„Not in my nature."

Sascha almost rolled her eyes when Emmett, yet again, just ran at Jasper straight ahead. Even a blind person could've seen that coming. It was a piece of cake for Jasper to move against him. The latter merely blocked Emmett's attack and when he was flipped through the air, Jasper used the momentum as they sped back at each other once more, ducked under Emmett's arm and easily tossed him to the ground.

„Never lose focus", Jasper noted and nodded toward Edward and Carlisle to go next.

Rosalie dusted Emmett off a little when he stepped back toward them and shot a playful glare toward Sascha and Alice when they snickered. „Hush you."

Sascha quickly raised her hands in peace. „I said nothing."

„I will make you eat dirt, Sherlock."

Before she could retort, her head snapped back to the action as she heard Edward and Carlisle colliding with each other. They lunged at each other several times, with Edward dodging all advances against him expertly. How could anyone even fight against him? He could read each and every thought. With bated breath, Sascha watched as Edward finally managed to grab Carlisle's collar and pushed him to the ground forcefully, a victorious smile on his face.

„One more thing." Jasper, who had been monitoring the sparring with calculating eyes, stepped a little closer, getting Edward's attention. A grave mistake as Carlisle quickly shot up again and dragged his adopted son to the ground in retaliation. Jasper stepped past the two, his eyes rolling a little. „Never turn your back on your enemy." Absolutely shit eating.

Jasper then called Rosalie to spar with him. He was scoping out all their fighting styles one after the other to check in detail what each needed to improve on. Sascha noted how very, truly sibling-like the two seemed as they stood in front of each other. It was the glint in their eyes. She'd always see the same in her father and aunt.

With his hand, Jasper motioned for Rosalie to have a go at him. And so she did. She reminded Sascha a lot of a wild feline. It was then that she realised she had never gone hunting with her before.

Sascha blinked quickly to focus back on the scene in front of them. Pay attention, for fucks sake.

Rosalie was quick and precise, elegant almost. But she wasn't a match for Jasper either. He had her down in mere moments.

„Sascha", Jasper called then, making her flinch, „You next, against Emmett."

Sascha rolled her eyes playfully at Emmett's cheer. This was going to be something.

They stood in front of each other, enough distance to actually charge. A wicked smirk spread all over Emmett's face.

„You won't know what hit you."

„A bulldozer, obviously."

Putting their goofiness aside, they nodded each other's way first before starting, making sure that they were ready. Then, Emmett ran at her at full speed immediately. Sascha's senses zeroed in on him as she started running as well.

Just as they were about to collide though, Sascha suddenly jumped, twisted around her own axis, having Emmett charging at her back, and then there was a loud crack. She switched places with Emmett. Now his back was facing Sascha and as she touched the ground again, she grabbed him by his shoulders and slammed him down to the ground on his back.

„Always expect the unexpected", Jasper threw in.

Emmett flustered, and scrambled out of the dent he had left in the earthy forest floor. „What the hell?!"

„Don't know what hit you?" Sascha snickered a little.

„You used your gift. That's cheating!"

„How so? Edward uses his too!"

„Jazz!"

They snapped both their heads to their trainer for the day. Sascha noticed nervously how the entire Cullen clan was watching with bemused twinkles in their yellow eyes.

Jasper uncrossed his arms, a smirk on his face, and walked over to Emmett. „Let me have a go."

Sascha was screwed.

Even more screwed when Jasper's smile grew a little. He was clearly feeling her dread. Emmett walked back to Rosalie, grumbling like Sascha had mortally offended him, and let himself be babied a little by his wife. What they had was quite cute-

-FOCUS.

Sascha and Jasper got into position, not too far away from each other as neither were the running-attack types.

Sascha accepted her fate and tried to loosen up a little. „Don't hold back, Darlin'", she impersonated him jokingly and bent her knees the tiniest bit.

„Wouldn't dream of it, sugar."

Sascha scoffed with a smirk, but it was wiped off her face in an instant when Jasper lunged at her. Then it was just instincts relying on reflexes, and reflexes relying on instincts. And Sascha knew, when it came to instincts, Jasper was far more advanced than her. Far more.

Sascha kept dodging his advances, and focused to keep out of his reach, twisting around and out of his way. She knew this was about learning to attack properly, but she'd have to figure out a rhythm first.

„You won't have the time on the battlefield."

Sascha growled, getting worked up. „Shut your face, Edward!"

She narrowly dodged one of Jasper's outstretched arms, aiming to lock her in and let herself fall backwards to her shoulders, using the momentum to throw herself back up with her legs. Jasper gave her no break as he immediately went to strike again. Sascha dared to go a little more into offence, it was their task after all.

Suddenly Jasper used an opening in her cover and lunged forward, slamming Sascha against a tree with his lower arm pressed against her throat. At the same time, she had been able to grab a handful of hair at the back of his head, the other held his wrist in place so he couldn't lock her in more tightly.

Their eyes snapped to each other for a brief moment, Sascha saw an almost animalistic glint in his eyes. He really was in his element.

With a loud crack, Sascha switched places with Jasper to get free of his hold again. Being back to back she planned to get some distance between the two of them, but before she could do so, an arm wrapped around her neck in a choke hold and she was slammed to the ground, Jasper still holding on to her tightly.

„Damn it."

„Never", his voice was dangerously close to her ear before his grip loosened, „pull your punches."

Sascha sat up and brushed some dirt from her trousers, quickly accepting Jasper's hand to let him pull her up. „I wasn't even pulling my punches", she muttered sheepishly as she walked back to the others.

„Oh, you sure were, Darlin'", Jasper chuckled, „Alice, your turn."

Standing back to let her two friends spar with each other, Sascha turned to their resident mind reader, frowning deeply at him. „You seriously need to stay out of my head, Ed."

„You know I can't choose to turn it on and off."

„Then at least choose to not be a prick about it and keep it to yourself, thank you very much."

Paying her attention back to Alice and Jasper, she saw the former jump into a cartwheel to evade Jasper's move. Sascha pondered for a moment if Alice's gift also gave her an advantage during fights. Every move was a quick decision being made, right? Shouldn't that- no. Her thoughts were cut short when she observed Jasper finally getting a grip around Alice's arms, locking her in successfully as well.

Alice shrugged in defeat. However, when Jasper loosened his hold ever so slightly, she suddenly vanished from sight. Jasper looked around in confusion, startled when Alice dropped down from a tree, arms wrapped around his neck. She actually got the better of him.

Sascha clapped excitedly. „Yes!"

„Never let down your guard", Alice giggled as she let go of Jasper again, then skipped over to Sascha. Jasper looked after her with a bemused smirk.

It kept going like this then. Carlisle went against Emmett one time, with Emmett finally coming out victorious. His strength was no match for the others. Sascha and Rosalie sparred against each other, too. But Sascha could still feel her own inhibitions holding her back. Still, she managed to use her speed against Rosalie quite successfully, and had turned the match in her favour by twisting and locking the blonde's arms behind her back.

The last spar was between Jasper and Edward. A rather interesting match, Sascha had to admit. With Edward's mind reading, and Jasper's experience, neither was quite able to overpower the other. It could've gone on for ages had Carlisle not intervened at some point and called a tie.

This entire time, the wolves had merely observed their fighting. Sascha had thought they might spar with each other too, but considering the more than poor relationship between the pack and the vampires, it probably was for the best for no sparring to occur between the two. One of the wolves had spent most of its time close to Bella. That must have been Jacob. Sascha found him actually more agreeable as a wolf. At least then she didn't have to see his stupid face.

Sascha leaned against Alice's car and waved after Rosalie and Emmett as they drove off, Esme and Carlisle had already left. Sascha wasn't quite sure why they had stopped already. Shouldn't they be getting as much training as possible? Maybe it was because of Bella and the pack, they did need sleep after all.

Alice slid up next to her and swung herself on the hood of her car. „What has you so deep in thought?"

„Ah, nothing important", Sascha shrugged it off. „Do you think any of the wolves would ever let me pet them?"

Alice merely snorted a laugh, not even giving a reply to that. She perked up as she saw Jasper going back to them, they were waiting for him so they could drive back as well. As he passed Bella on her jeep though, he stopped when she spoke to him. Asking whether there really wasn't anything she could do to help.

Jasper turned to Bella then. „Well, your presence alone, your scent, would distract the newborns. Their hunting instinct will take over and", a smirk played around his lips, „drive them crazy."

Sascha did not want to eavesdrop, but she couldn't exactly stop her hearing from being so advanced either.

„Good, I'm glad. Hey-", Bella called, stopping Jasper from leaving just yet. „How do you know so much about this?"

„I didn't have quite the same upbringing as my adopted siblings." Jasper uncovered his lower arms and held them out for Bella to look at.

Bella got off the hood of the Jeep and took a closer look. „These bites are like mine."

Even from the small distance, Sascha could see the marks littering his skin. She had never quite paid attention to them, she noticed. She had also never seen any, except for the ones on his neck. And she had not wanted to pry either.

Jasper told Bella about his time after he had been turned by Maria. The newborns he had to train and kill. The distant pain in his voice made Sascha feel choked up again. She looked up at Alice with sorrow pulling at her brows. Alice nodded slowly, as if to say ‚I know, it's been a lot'.

„I thought what Maria and I had was love. But I was her puppet, she pulled the strings. I didn't know there was another way", Jasper's voice was very low then, almost a whisper. Sascha could see the venom swimming in his eyes, tears he would never be able to shed again. Then, he breathed out a laugh and smiled. „Until I met Alice. Now, she'd seen me coming of course."

Alice immediately sped over and hugged him around his waist. „Kept me waiting long enough."

Jasper lowered his gaze with a watery laugh. „My apologies, ma'am." He looked back at her, such fondness in his eyes, it filled even Sascha with warmth to see the bond they shared. „I don't know what I'd become if she hadn't gotten me out of there."

Alice hushed him quickly, and pressed a peck to his cheek. „You never have to be that again."

Jasper hugged her back properly and put his chin on her head. Sascha had to stifle a laugh when she saw how awkward Bella was feeling again. Though, she had clung to each and every word of Jasper's story.

A moment later, Edward joined them, God knows where had been during that exchange. „We better get going, Bella. It's almost 4pm."

Bella nodded. „Thanks Jasper. See you, guys." She rounded the car and gave a small wave toward Sascha before she got in.

Sascha returned the gesture with a smile, as her two friends walked over to the car too. She slipped into the passengers' seat. Alice had insisted at some point she ride shot-gun. ‚Longer legs' had been her reasoning. Jasper got in the driver's seat as Alice jumped in behind Sascha.

When they drove off, Sascha could sense the heavy feeling still lingering around Jasper. Must be his gift. There was nothing really to say though, she had heard the story, he knew her thoughts. So instead of saying anything, she just gently put her hand on the back of his that was lying on the middle console and weaved her fingers through his.

Jasper didn't react much, kept his eyes on the road. Though after a few beats of silence, he turned his hand palm up in hers and gently re-connected their fingers, squeezing back. Sascha leaned into her seat a little more relaxed then.

The heavy air turned tender.

***

Chapter Text

13. Change of Plans

The following day, Edward approached Jasper with a weird request. Apparently he needed his nose to check if Bella's scent could be masked through a werewolf.

Yet again a moment where Sascha had found asking herself what kind of fairy tale she had ended up in, exactly.

And because nothing was ever weird enough already, she had been pulled along as well since her senses were still heightened. She was yearning for the day her newborn status would finally run out and she wouldn't have to tag along like a special task force.

So, before that day's training, she found herself trotting along with others, chatting with Bella about their change of plans. Bella had not agreed to spending the remainder of the battle sidelined. At the very least, not without Edward by her side. Sascha could understand that, especially considering whatever had conspired the year before. She didn't know the details but enough to know it must've been traumatic. Even if you ignored the blatant stupidity that led to the events in the first place.

At a certain point during Bella's explanation Sascha had to stifle her laugh. „Oh, Jacob's going to love being the scent blocker. Not at all offensive."

Edward scoffed darkly, walking ahead with Jasper. „His stench is offensive."

„You never had a dog, did you?"

„I died before I had the opportunity."

„You seem pretty alive to me."

Jasper turned to look at her over his shoulder, an amused glint in his eyes. „Oh, you don't want to go down that road, Darlin'."

Sascha quickly raised her hands. „Didn't say anything."

They reached the clearing then. Jasper had already told them about that area as a strategic advantage point for the battle. Looking at it Sascha found herself agreeing immediately. Far away enough from the town, an open plain with options for high ground and a lot of trees, since it was in the middle of the forest higher up the mountains.

Jacob approached them from the other side of the field. Shirtless. Why this decision?

„Why indeed."

„Edward, I swear-"

Jacob cut her off as he got closer. „You're not fighting? What, did you pull a muscle or something?"

„He's doing it for me, okay?", Bella cut in quickly.

„Whatever. Just tell me the plan."

Could anyone be any more grumpy? Sascha and Jasper exchanged subtle glances. This was all so awkward.

„This field will give us an advantage in battle", Jasper explained. „We're gonna lure the newborns with Bella's scent. But it needs to end here."

„Edward and I are going on a campsite. Even if he carries me, they'll still pick up on our scents."

„Your stench, however, is revolting." There was so much disgust in Edward's voice, it was radiating off of him in waves.

„Dude, you really don't wanna start comparing stinks."

Sascha rolled her eyes with a scoff. „Children, pissing contest, later. Battle planning, now."

Bella took a step forward. „What he means is that your scent will mask mine if you carry me."

Maybe it wasn't a fairy tale Sascha had ended up in. Maybe it was just a badly written rom-com.

Jacob was quick to agree then. „Done."

Edward turned to Jasper with a sour expression. „This is not a good idea."

„Edward, they won't want to go anywhere near his…", Jasper considered his words well then, couldn't stop the smirk though when he looked at Jacob, „odour."

Bella, clearly fed up with all the testosterone and petty species-fights, huffed and walked over to Jacob. „Okay, let's just try it."

Jacob picked her up easily. „Eau de Wolf, coming up." He was way too happy about this turn of events.

„Run!", Edward snarled.

And off the two went, Jacob quickly jogging towards the tree line.

Sascha stuffed her hands into her pockets. „Edward, I would really advise you to not insult the people you need favours from."

„There's actually a favour I've been wanting to ask you, too."

„Oh?" Sascha blinked a surprise, sharing a confused look with Jasper. „What is it?"

„With your gift, you could be… a great help in protecting Bella if someone were to follow us."

„You want me to camp out in the mountains with you?"

Edward's jaw hardened. „Yes."

Sascha shifted from one foot to the other. „So you want me to get gnawed instead then?"

„Strategically speaking it would be better to switch places with whoever is doing the attacking, really", Jasper said, his voice a smidge tighter than before.

„I have to be honest here, Edward. I don't know if I have enough control over my gift to be of help that way."

„Would you be willing to try during training?" Edward's eyes were pleading.

Sascha hummed in agreement. „We'll see how that goes. And I think the others should be present when we decide on what to do, too."

Edward nodded stiffly. „I just didn't want to ask you this in front of the others. I didn't want you to feel pressured into agreeing."

And yet again, Sascha found herself deeply surprised. „That is… oddly considerate of you."

That was the first time she saw the ghost of a smile flash over his features. „I'm not always an arse."

Sascha snorted at him mimicking her way of talking, then leaned toward Jasper with her eyes narrowed playfully. „Can you attest to that?"

Jasper loosened a little again. „'Not always' is accurate."

Sascha shook her head at the two, then nudged Jasper's shoulder. „Come on, let's see if we can pick up on the human."

„I'll wait for you here."

Jasper and Sascha sped off in the direction Jacob and Bella had gone, both trying to sniff out any of Bella's scent. They had to got a little further away from the field, though, as Bella's scent was still lingering around the area there. Once it dissipated, they slowed, not wanting to miss on anything. They needed to be sure. After all, this was about Bella's safety.

While sniffing like a mad dog, Sascha pondered on Edward's request. Did she really want to be separated from the others? And truthfully, even if it was quite selfish, she did want to have her chance on getting back at Riley, too.

„What do you think of Edward's idea?"

„It sounds reasonable."

This tone again. And Sascha could see his shoulders tensing more than usual. „What's wrong?"

Jasper glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, before he focused on 'scent-checking' again. He huffed after a brief moment. „I don't like the idea of us all being split into groups even more."

„Naw, are you worried about me?", Sascha teased a little.

Jasper halted in his tracks suddenly. „This is not a joke, Sascha."

She flinched a little and stopped walking too. „I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

„I know. Just…", Jasper sighed heavily, „Just take this seriously, okay?"

She nodded sheepishly. She felt stupid. „Okay."

They kept searching for Bella's scent then, for about one or two more kilometres. But they weren't able to find her anywhere. Their plan had actually worked out. Jacob had completely masked Bella with his smell.

On their way back, Sascha wanted nothing more than the tension to leave. At the same time it was bothering her that she hadn't gotten a proper answer to her question. But she didn't want to push the topic even more-

„To be honest, I'm not even completely comfortable with you taking part in the battle at all."

Sascha turned her head to look at him in shock. „What? I thought you said I'd be a good asset."

„I did. You are."

„Then what's that supposed to mean? Of course I'm gonna fight with you. No matter where I am."

„I know you are. I'm not saying I'll try to keep you from the fight. And yet, I wish for as few of us to be involved in this as possible." Jasper looked her in the eyes then. „Imagine what I think of the idea of you not fighting alongside us. Instead fighting alone."

Sascha pondered on that for a moment. „Where did that change of heart come from so suddenly?"

„It wasn't sudden at all. I care about you now."

That rendered her speechless. And then she felt even more stupid than before. Of course… „I hadn't considered that."

Jasper breathed out a laugh. The tension seemed to slowly dissipate. „What? That when you make friends they might actually want to keep an eye on you?"

„Now, who's making jokes, huh?"

„It's called sarcasm, Darlin'."

„Same thing", Sascha rubbed her hands over her face briefly. „So, asking you what to do is not an option since you're completely biassed?"

Jasper shook his head with a weak smile. „Let's just wait, like you said, until after the training and what the others have to say about it."

„Fair."

They were almost back to the clearing. Before they got into earshot for Edward, Sascha nudged Jasper's shoulder with hers and gave him a side hug. „I care about you too."

He gave her a light squeeze. „I know."

The two made their way back up through the tree line and bushes to the clearing, Jasper stepping swiftly ahead.

„All we picked up was wolf stench. No Bella." Jasper felt that Edward was far from convinced. „This will work."

„Great." Edward still looked as unsatisfied as ever.

„Come on. Let's go meet the others." Sascha smacked his shoulder, a little too rough as it made Edward stumble a little. She wasn't sorry at all.

The trio raced through the woods to their designated training area. The others were already going at it, though much more leisurely than before. Jasper's scrutinising eyes seemed to be a missing factor. The rest of the family stopped their sparring as the other three approached, greeting them all. Alice and Esme dusted themselves off a little, they had been the last ones to spar with each other.

Sascha made sure to give at least a greeting to the wolves too as she inclined her head their way. None seemed to react much, just observing with tense postures. The only exception was a smaller looking wolf with sand-coloured fur. His ears perked up a little as he looked at Sascha with curious eyes.

„We- I've been thinking about another change of plans", Edward explained to his family and they all gathered in a circle. „I asked Sascha if she would stay with us in the mountains."

Rosalie scoffed in disbelief. „So we're another one less against the army?"

„So that I'm not the only one protecting Bella."

„Of course." Rosalie's nose twitched in distaste.

„Her gift could help us up there."

„We don't know that yet", Sascha quickly cut in.

Edward nodded. „Which is why we can try it out now."

Sascha noticed that it wasn't just Jasper who seemed not too convinced about the idea. Nonetheless, they agreed to at least try it out.

„At the very least, it can't be bad for Sascha to get some specific training for her gift." Carlisle's reasoning seemed to even calm Rosalie for the time being.

They agreed to have Esme stand in as Bella, Sascha and Edward standing guard and then Emmett, Carlisle and Alice were supposed to attack. Jasper stood aside to observe, with Rosalie. They agreed to not attack with all five against two for the first few runs. It would be too much.

They all got in position and when all were ready, Jasper called for them to begin. As the other three charged, Sascha tried to come up with a strategy on a whim. If she was to protect someone with her gift, it would be best to use distance to her advantage. So, in the split second she had to consider, while the others were still charging at them, Sascha sped a solid distance away. Just as the others reached Edward and Esme, Sascha switched places with Emmett with a loud crack.

Get the strongest opponent away first.

Appearing right next to Alice gave her the opportunity to grab her by her shoulder and hurl her back a couple of metres, while Edward was busy with Carlisle. By that time, Emmett was drawing closer again. Sascha had to think fast. She had to come up with a way to keep all of them from regrouping to coordinate an attack around her and Edward.

She had an idea then, a brief glance at Edward told her he had read her mind. He gave her a quick nod.

Sascha ran back to Alice, but before she made contact with her, a crack snapped through the air again as she switched places with Edward, startling Alice in her stance. Sascha then immediately switched with Emmett, to make him and Carlisle distracted with each other. Then she repeated her move which she had pulled in the beginning, ran a few hundred metres away, and switched places with Carlisle. Sascha was doing this during mere seconds. She ducked away from Emmett's fists before pushing him away with a strong shove of her shoulder.

Should she just keep going like this? It seemed to be a good strategy. The atmosphere was getting weird though. Like the air was getting tight. She shook it off and twisted out of Emmett's way just in time. She switched places with Carlisle again and had Emmett ram into him instead of her, and-

„Sascha, stop!" Jasper's voice cut through the air like a knife, filled with dread.

-with a crack louder than the others had been, she switched places with Alice to get her away from the centre.

Suddenly, white hot pain shot through her left side. Sascha screamed out in shock and stumbled over her own feet. Her momentum caused her to crash into a tree, making it to crumble and tip over to the direction of the pack. They quickly scattered to run away, but one was looking around in shock, frozen, a light grey one. More out of instinct than anything else, Sascha switched places with the wolf, causing the pain to intensify. Her scream tore through the trees as she heard a bone shuddering crunch. The sound was hauntingly familiar to her. Like stone breaking apart. The tree slammed down on her side before she could look for the source, the yells of the others seemingly far away. Muted.

The Cullens were all over immediately. Emmett flung the tree off her body, making sure to throw it away from either of their groups.

Alice dropped to her knees next to her, hushing her as she helped Sascha sit up. „Be careful."

Sascha grunted in pain and raised her hand to clutch her left arm… and grabbed air instead.

Esme gasped when she saw too. „Oh god, Sascha."

Sascha ripped her hoodie off of her. Literally. The left holder of her top hung weirdly as there was nothing to keep it in place. When she saw her torn shoulder, then her limp arm laying next to the wolf she had switched with, she was suddenly back in that abandoned factory. Back within the fights, the snarls, the pain. Panic clawed its way up her chest like a vicious creature, squeezing her rib cage, trapping her in her own body.

The voices around her were a mere buzz at the far end of her senses. As though she was dunked under water. The hands trying to stabilise her felt like choking ropes. Her vision became dark around the edges, zeroing in on what was directly in front of her.

„Get off of me." Her voice came out gargled, jaw locked so tightly her teeth wouldn't come apart while trying to talk. A sob tore through her throat as another wave of pain hit her as something came in contact with her shoulder.

Suddenly it felt like someone was trying to dig into her head. Or maybe not sudden at all. Now that she was aware of it, she noticed it had been gradually building up. A small hand grabbed her chin and her sight was crowded by one face. Alice.

Her lips were moving but no sound reached Sascha's ears. Sascha looked at her desperately. She wasn't breathing, and even though she didn't need oxygen anymore, she still felt like she was suffocating. Like her lungs were about to collapse in on themselves. Sascha squeezed her eyes shut, another strangled sob escaped her.

Alice's hand on her chin vanished and a brief moment after, her hands were grabbed by another. Sascha faintly registered that her arm must have been re-attached to her. The next thing she felt was her hands being squeezed in a rhythmic pattern. Almost like a heartbeat. It gave her something to focus on.

Calm. Steady. Grounding.

Slowly but surely, Sascha felt her eyebrows loosening. She opened her eyes and looked up at Rosalie kneeling in front of her with a concentrated, yet worried expression. Holding her hands. Sascha's gaze found hers and Rosalie gave her one small, slow nod. Sascha started squeezing her hands back in the same rhythm.

Whatever force was still trying to dig into her head shifted and started feeling like a soft blanket instead and with a start, Sascha gasped out her caught breath as the sounds around her came back and her chest opened up again.

„You're fine, we got you." Rosalie didn't let go, kept her anchored. „You're fine."

***

Sascha stared out of the backseat window of Alice's car, Alice to her right, stroking her hand softly, as Rosalie drove them back to the Cullen house. The others continued with their training. Jasper had wanted to come along first, but after a quick discussion with the others he had been convinced to stay. The training was imperative after all.

But Sascha needed out. She needed to get away from the looks of worry and… pity. Sascha didn't know how long she had been stuck, but she could tell from their looks that Edward had spilled more than one of her thoughts he had been private to.

She was going to kill him some day.

Sascha glanced down her left arm. The cracks had vanished already. Much more smooth than the other times she had lost a limb.

„How come there are no cracks left?" Her voice was so low, if the others weren't vampires, they surely wouldn't have caught her voice at all.

Alice's hand stilled for a moment before she continued. „It's the venom. It seals more quickly than normal healing."

Sascha hummed in recognition. If only she had known that before. Could've saved her some scars.

After they arrived at the house, Rosalie and Alice stayed close to Sascha as they entered the living room area. Alice hesitated for a moment, eyes flitting back and forth between the stairs and the couch.

„Do you want to be alone for a moment?"

Sascha shook her head quickly. She was sure if she were to be left alone now her thoughts would just come back to consume her. Uncontrollably so.

Alice gave a small smile, full of empathy. „Okay, come here." She ushered Sascha over to the couch and guided her to lay her head down in her lap.

Sascha let her. She was grateful for the comfort.

Rosalie followed them, but before sitting down herself, she approached the stereo. She shuffled through the CDs quickly until she eventually chose one to her liking and put it on. Soft, calming acoustic music filled the room, volume low. Satisfied, she sat down in her usual spot.

Sascha turned her head a little to look at the blonde. „Rosalie? What was it that you did back there?" She had been wondering in the car already. She knew the classic techniques to break someone out of a panic attack. But that had been new.

Rosalie seemed to ponder for a moment before she spoke. „After I had turned, I experienced similar… panic attacks. Breathing techniques don't work for vampires, as you can imagine. So, I had to get a little creative."

„That makes sense", Sascha nodded. „You're so smart."

Rosalie smiled a little. „I appreciate the lack of surprise in your voice."

Sascha breathed out a laugh. „I wouldn't dare." She pressed her lips together for a moment, not sure whether to ask her next question or not. She decided to try at least. „Is having panic attacks normal after turning?"

Rosalie averted her eyes quickly. It seemed like a coldness was washing over her features. „I don't know. But let's just say that the circumstances of my turning weren't pleasant either."

Sascha knew to not keep asking and merely nodded. Maybe she'd tell her some day, maybe not. Both would be okay. For this moment anyway.

She felt fingers stroking through her hair then and looked up at Alice with a smile, which she returned tenderly. Then, a small frown tugged at Alice's brow.

„Do you want to talk about what happened during training?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Sascha saw that Rosalie also turned back to them, her posture showing that whatever thoughts had caught up with her were gone again. Sascha looked at her briefly, then to Alice.

„No, not at the moment. But I promise, I will, at some point."

The other two nodded understandingly and silence settled in the room for a moment. Only the music tinkling silently in the background. After a few moments though, Sascha scoffed at herself and pinched the bridge of her nose, a grimace of a smile on her face.

Alice tilted her head. „What?"

„Guess you could say Edward's plan was spectacular rubbish, huh?"

Rosalie snorted, quite unlike herself. „That brick. If he weren't my chosen brother, I would punch him with how dense he is sometimes.

„Luckily I don't have such inhibitions", Sascha laughed. „Trust me, he'll catch it sooner or later."

„Are you sure you even want to still fight?" Alice looked more than worried. „What if you have another flashback during the battle?"

Sascha sat up then and crossed her legs under herself. „You have a point, but I need this. I need some kind of closure."

Alice nodded, but she didn't look convinced. Sascha nudged her softly. „Hey, it'll be fine. I'll just imagine they all have Edward's ugly mug. That'll power me through."

Alice's face broke into an unbelieving laugh then and lifted her hands to cover her face, shaking her head quickly. „Sascha, no."

„I'm only kidding, of course."

„Mhm", Rosalie was looking at her with a raised eyebrow, a smirk ghosting around her features. „Of course."

The three fell into a somewhat easy chatter then. 'Somewhat' easy because it was still connected to the upcoming 24-48 hours. They still had some plans before then. They had agreed to all go hunting together the coming night. To power up. Alice had had the sweet idea to let Edward and Bella have the house for themselves, without heightened hearing lingering around the walls. When Sascha had called it their „frisky time" she had gotten whacked over the head by Emmett for it.

Suddenly, a thought crossed Sascha's mind out of nowhere and she gasped. Alice had told her it was venom that had helped her healing back there. „Ew."

Rosalie and Alice turned their heads to her in unison. „What?"

„Please tell me no one salivated on my arm."

Alice blinked once. „Well, that's just an oversimplification of things."

Sascha shuddered dramatically and hid her face in a pillow with a whine. This was mortifying.

***

Chapter Text

14. Pre Battle Interlude

A couple hours later, Sascha was sitting alone on the porch stairs down to the backyard again, carving away at another stone. Slowly but surely it was turning into a small turtle. After the others had been sure Sascha was stable enough, Rosalie had gone to the garage to work on her car and Alice had left not too long after to go to Bella's house and prepare the latter's alibi with her father. Since Bella wasn't the best at lying, and Chief Swan trusted Edward as far as he could throw him, it was best for Alice and her chipper charisma to take the wheel. Sascha snorted to herself, imagining a grovelling and stuttering Edward trying to set up the alibi instead.

Her ears perked up when she heard cars approaching on the forest road. She stayed in her zone though. They were still a good distance away. And it felt good to put her pent up energy and nerves to practical use. She couldn't wait to get back to her workshop. Did it still exist? If so, it was probably covered in dust by now. Or maybe her father had gone there to clean for her every now and then. Of course - she shook her head at herself. A stupid question. They did share a workshop after all. Another question replaced her musings quickly.

Would she even be able to work with her tools still? Carving the little stone in her hand with her fingernails, she questioned if she even still needed them. Either way, she would probably need to learn their usage again. Adjust the force that she needed to work with. And, shaking her head to herself with a smile, she had to admit, she had been struggling with that even before turning. That would definitely be testing her patience in the future. At the latest when she tried her hands at working with wood again. She could already see herself clawing her eyes out.

„How are you?"

Sascha gasped loudly and almost dropped the stone from her hands. „God, Jasper, why?" She turned around to look at the guy in question. He stood in the door, posture tight and arms behind his back.

„I thought you'd heard me."

„I zoned out, I was too concentrated on this." Sascha lifted the turtle in her hands for him to see.

He nodded in recognition. Then he inhaled deeply, and took a seat next to her. „We need to talk."

Sascha sighed heavily and set her project aside. „Yeah, I figured."

„What happened today is completely understandable, but it can't happen on the battlefield."

„It won't."

„And how do you know that? This isn't just about you and your closure. It's about my family. And we can't afford liabilities like this."

Sascha felt bitterness rise up in her throat, even though she understood his point. How could she make him understand that it wouldn't happen during battle? „I didn't have a single panic attack when I was in that place. It won't… it won't happen during the battle."

„And what if you're wrong?"

„Then…", Sascha thought for a moment, then let out a bitter scoff. „Then just let them rip me to shreds if I lose an arm again."

Jasper groaned, rising suddenly from the stairs and walked a few paces to the yard. Visibly frustrated. „I don't appreciate repeating myself. This is not a joke."

„I wasn't joking."

Silence grew between the two. Sascha looked at the ground between her feet and picked at her fingers for a few moments. She wished she could just ignore for a moment that she completely saw where he was coming from, so she could argue her own point properly. She didn't want to get stuck in an internal debate spiral. It was annoying.

Some seconds passed, then Sascha rose to her feet and stepped over to his side. „Look. I don't know how to give you some kind of… definite, 100% proof that it won't happen. Nothing other than the fact that you don't know me as well as I do", she put a hand on his shoulder, „I give you my word, Jasper."

Jasper turned to face her. „Under one condition."

Sascha bit back her remark, and chose to merely nod.

„I don't know where you learned, and I don't expect you to tell me. But I know you know how to fight. Properly. I know you were holding back. And when the time comes you can't afford to do that. We can't afford that."

Sascha listened closely while he talked. Impressed by his observance. But then again, she shouldn't be surprised anymore. She gave him what she hoped looked like a reassuring nod. „I'll do whatever I can."

„I need you to promise me." There was something vulnerable in his voice. The tiniest hint of fragility behind his guarded eyes.

Sascha grabbed his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. „I promise." She let go again and went back over to the porch, dropping down on the lowest step of the stairs. „I can't wait for all this to be over. I just want the heavy topics to finally stop."

Jasper nodded with a sigh. „I second that." He moved to stand next to her, both their eyes fixed on the tree line. „How are you feeling, though?"

„Eh…", Sascha shrugged, „better again. It's just all so very messy. In my head, and everything else." She let her head drop to lean against his leg.

„I hope it will get better for you. After all this. Some rest."

„Same to you." She had only picked up bits and pieces. But the Cullens were not spared from messy situations. Neither as a whole, nor individually it seemed.

Jasper gave her an appreciative smile. Small, but it was there. The upcoming days were weighing on all of them. „It seems every day is messy in a vampire's existence."

„I'll refuse the mess. Out of spite."

The two shared a light laugh.

Jasper shook his head, smiling. „I do believe that, without a doubt."

A comfortable silence engulfed them then. Not like before. Though she could still feel the tension in the air. She couldn't point out exactly whether it was just her own nerves, or if it came off Jasper. Maybe from the others in the house. It was most likely a combination of it all.

So it seemed good to take a moment to just be. Take a breath. Of course every second was crucial, and could be used for training or other kinds of physical preparation. Sascha found it relieving that the overall consensus was that mental preparation and time to collect oneself was just as important.

The following days… would come, no matter what they did. So would the army. And Sascha wanted to believe it would turn out okay. These people, the Cullens, her new found friends, they'd gone through so much already. She had gone through her own issues and struggles, even before she had been turned. Of course none ever felt like they could compare in magnitude to what she found herself confronted with now. Then again, every struggle or obstacle that came her way had felt that way - bigger, almost insurmountable - compared to what had come before.

She wanted to trust that the Cullens would be getting through this. She refused to think about an alternate result. She figured… if it came to that, she'd face the consequences of it in the moment. Not agonise over it beforehand. There was enough of that going around already.

„I learned in my aunt's school, by the way."

Jasper looked down at her with a confused noise.

„My aunt teaches mixed martial arts. I learned from her", Sascha sat straight again and smirked up at him. „There's no big story of how I know how to fight. But thanks for respecting my privacy."

And there it was. His lopsided smirk. Finally.

„I am a gentleman after all."

„Mhm, sure you are."

„Careful." Jasper playfully reached to whack the back of her head, but Sascha quickly vanished from the stairs and stood in front of him. „Oh, now you find your reflexes?"

„Never lost them."

The two laughed with each other, playfully, almost child-like, pushing against each other in a mock fight. Then, they heard a car's engine rev in the distance. Alice's cue. And all of theirs that it was time for dinner.

***

It felt like the following night and day went by in a complete blur. After their more than fulfilling hunt, it had taken them all night to power up as much as possible, Edward, Bella and Jacob had set off for their part of the plan and used the day to journey up the snowy mountains. Edward had of course left on his own, while Bella had been carried off by Jacob. All according to plan.

Sascha had tried to apologise for not being able to help Edward the way he had intended, but to her surprise he had waved her off and apologised himself for even asking so much of her. For all his more than annoying traits, Sascha did have to admit to finding herself surprised by his depth from time to time. Of course he had still been in „mental hearing range" and shot her an irritated look over his shoulder before speeding into the forest.

The Cullens and her had agreed on all doing what they deemed most important for themselves before the battle. If that meant quality time, training, or other kinds of preparation, was up to each of them individually. It was a dreadful situation hurtling towards them. And nobody should have a word against it if two loved ones or a family wanted to spend the last few hours before it together, if one of them were to fall. Which of course would not happen, Sascha kept repeating to herself.

Rosalie and Emmett had chosen to spend their time alone. Not that they didn't spend a lot of their time as a twosome already, but Emmett didn't need any more training for his strength anyway, and Rosalie would probably not be able to change much about her abilities either. Esme had joined Carlisle in his study. He had decided to prepare some documents concerning his work at the local hospital and his life's work that filled his study.

True to character, Jasper had wanted to train and spar before it all went down. Sascha could have sworn that he was just able to stop himself from saying they needed to 'warm up'. And Sascha knew herself well enough to know she would have had to keep herself from simply dipping herself in dark humour again and reply with 'only fire can help there'. What a humane slip up was to one, was self-deprecating humour to the other, right?

No.

Not good, Sascha.

Alice had agreed to join. Sascha reckoned she didn't really care for more training, but she wanted to spend time with him too. Understandable. Sascha had promised to join a little later and excused herself to her designated room.

And there she found herself sitting at the desk, pen in hand, staring at a blank piece of paper. After everything that had happened, and not knowing what would happen the coming day, she wanted to make sure that some form of her was returning to her father at least. Despite her repressing the possibility, she was acutely aware of what they were about to face. She knew there was a chance of her dying… So she wanted to make sure, that even if she wasn't going to make it back, then her words would reach her father. He'd still have her explanation for things, and not someone else's. And at least this way she could control what kind of lie he, and the rest of her friends and family, would be getting. If she wasn't going to make it, she would definitely be sparing them the truth. And give them something that she hoped would aid them in their mourning.

The words came easily to her after a few sentences. The emotions welled up inside her as she wrote, suddenly feeling it hit her like a brick how much she was missing her father. How badly she wanted to hear her friends' voices again. Their laughs. Feel their hugs. Or be informed about her grandma's latest gossip from her monthly card-game round with her friends.

Sascha eased up on her writing intensity after she had pressed right through the paper more than once. This entire vampire thing was really a hassle to get used to.

She signed the letter to her father and then hesitated for a few moments. She picked another sheet then and started writing again. For all they had done for her, the Cullens also deserved some final words if she wasn't going to be able to say them herself. Just a precaution. She addressed the family as a whole, but also each member individually, including Bella. Even if she hadn't spent an equal amount of time with everyone, they still had made her time with them memorable each in their own way.

When she finally felt satisfied and like it was all said, she wrapped both letters in individual envelopes before putting them both in one bigger one. She put it on her desk with the turtle she had actually been able to finish. She reckoned, if she were to fall, they'd probably come into the room at some point. At least to… sort out her clothes. They would find the letter.

***

Sascha had joined Jasper and Alice as promised, going through some last cycles with them and working on periphery reactive moves which they could use during combat. Sascha had also asked them to stand in for her place-switching, even if she could feel the uncomfortableness tugging strongly at her for using the gift again. But she had no choice. She couldn't let a phobia settle itself in and block her from using that ability. And, since she needed to know before the fight, she had wanted to figure out how many times in what span of time she could actually switch places before it tore her apart again.

Doing it consciously in that moment, she had been able to feel a certain strain on her muscles, building up with quick reps of switching. She guessed that it was what had caused her to burst. She was putting too much strain on her body. Jasper and Alice had agreed that her logic was sound. After a good hour or two of trying to exactly pinpoint the sensation and her limits, Sascha had felt a little more confident about using it in battle. If she couldn't make sure that some newborn tore through her, she at least wanted to make sure she wouldn't do it to herself.

And when the sun was starting to rise again, Sascha noticed something again so prominently, it almost made her startle. It was weird to not have a real end and start to a day anymore. Sascha had thought so on multiple occasions already. That particular sunrise was the most off putting one yet.

Alice noticed her moment of hesitation and followed her eyes to the shy light trickling through the trees. „It's time."

The trio shared a tense look. It felt like the air was becoming thick. Almost as though you could break it with a snap. Sascha was sure, if she still could, she would be getting goosebumps right now. The bad kind. The cold kind.

Sascha took a deep breath, trying to stabilise her nerves and herself. „I'll quickly go change into some other clothes." She really didn't fancy going to what felt like war in a hoodie with mushrooms on.

Jasper nodded, a grim shadow settling on his features. „We'll gather the others."

Sascha quickly sped up to her room, tore her clothes off and changed into new ones. Dark, fitted, not loose. She didn't need to get tangled in her own sleeves. Yes, it had happened before. She was out the door again in less than 5 seconds.

She was just about to skip back downstairs, when she came to an abrupt stop in front of a mirror hanging in the hallway, above a small sideboard with flowers and candles for decoration. She heard a door opening in the corridor.

„What's holding you up, Sherlock?"

„Look." Sascha, despite the situation that was looming over their heads, shot Emmett a beaming smile.

Emmett pulled the door to his and Rosalie's room shut and looked at her in confusion, stepping closer. But only for a moment before his smile mirrored hers and he pulled her in for a crushing side hug. „Aww, now you're really one of us."

Sascha let out a breathy laugh as she looked back into the mirror. Into her golden eyes. If she were to be a colour nerd, sure yes, a red tinge was still hidden somewhere in the colour spectrum, making it the tiniest bit of a rose gold, but she chose to ignore it. She hadn't really looked into a mirror much during her time at the Cullens' house. Her reflection still made her uneasy. This, however, made her feel a different kind of happiness. Grounded.

Emmett suddenly grabbed her by her upper arms, lifted her off the ground as if she weighed less than a feather and sped downstairs with her, joining the others waiting for them. He held her up like a trophy. „Behold-"

„Emmett put me down!"

„-the newest addition to the goodie two shoes Gold-eye-Clan."

Sascha swatted at Emmett's hands with an uncomfortable laugh, which finally made him drop her. This was not the time, and even if it were, did he want her to die of embarrassment?

Esme approached her with a fond smile and cupped her cheek with one hand, a thumb caressing her cheek bone. „It suits you."

There was so much more meaning behind those words, and Sascha could feel it. Esme wasn't just talking about the eyes.

Sascha put her hand over Esme's, venom burning behind her eyes. „Thank you."

„Alright, I need a hug. Now." Alice spread out her arms demandingly, eyes closed and waiting. She was addressing everybody.

And, even if there was some head shaking, they all complied. Without hesitation. Sascha snuggled in between Emmett and Alice. Soaking up the emotions of bonding and care. Despite what was going to happen, despite the uncertainty and absolute pain her transition into this life had given her, she felt content and grateful that it at least let her meet these people. This family.

***

Chapter Text

The Battle

There it was. Snarling. Feet rapidly rushing through the thicket of the forest. Still far away.

„Here they come." Emmett, his stare uncharacteristically dark, shook his arms out, bracing his stance.

Sascha took a slow, deep breath she knew she didn't need. She stood between Carlisle and Jasper, hands clenched to fists so strong, she'd be breaking her own bones if she still could. „Alice, how much longer?"

„About two minutes." Alice's voice was small, yet fierce.

Sascha nodded to herself and shared a look with Carlisle and Rosalie to her left. This was it. A hand suddenly touched her right fist, only for a moment. Jasper.

„Remember", his gaze was fixed up ahead, voice dark. „Do not hold back. They are out to kill us. You. Just let go."

The army got closer. Sascha could hear their ragged breaths in between snarls and grunts now. The sound of their clothing flapping around them got louder too. So close.

She steadied herself once more, forced her hands to relax and open and nudged Jasper's hand in return. „Whatever it takes."

A tremor shook her when the first few newborns burst through the tree line. And without thinking, she and the others charged forward. Sascha only barely registered her pulling ahead of the others. Her eyes fixed on the people right in front of her, the first line of newborns. With a growl she wasn't aware she was capable of making, she reeled her arm back and punched through the first newborn's face, their body exploding upon impact.

Then, hell broke loose around her. She found herself in a whirlwind of bodies, limbs, and soon wolves too. She dodged the frantic newborns easily, doing her best to not cross eyes with them. Not look into their faces. Suppress the humanity they once had.

Her punches were strong, precise. Having just ripped off someone's arm and head with two quick jabs, she whipped around when she heard a wolf yelp behind her. One of the wolves was snapping at his back furiously, a newborn grabbing at his fur, trying to go for the neck. With a crack snapping through the air, Sascha switched places with the wolf, kicked her knee up and pushed the newborn down at the same time, cracking them apart in the middle. One second, one life.

She shot a quick look at the wolf, glad to see that he was back in the fight. So she sped off to another newborn, who was currently trying to ambush Rosalie from behind. She switched places with the stranger, jumped and twisted in the air to kick them back forcefully. She braced her stance when the newborn charged at her again. They were tall, with a wide back and strong arms. They lunged at Sascha with a snarl, mouth wide with fury and viciousness. She dodged at the last split of a second and tried to bring her own punch in, but her fist soared through air instead. She felt hands grab at her neck from behind, then searing pain as the newborn bit down on her shoulder. Sascha screamed.

Another crack followed as she switched places with her opponent. She jumped up on their back and smashed her elbow down repeatedly, shattering their shoulder, before she grabbed their jaw and twisted their head around forcefully, finally rendering them harmless.

Sascha was just about to dash for another one who was currently advancing on a distracted Alice, when two figures at the tree line caught her attention. One had flaming waves of red hair, the other-

Sascha snarled. „You."

It was Riley. He dashed off without sparring her as much as a glance as he followed after the red-head. Sascha couldn't stop herself as she burst into a sprint, wanting nothing more than to tear him to pieces. Let out her anger at him for what he had done to her. What he had made her do.

„Sascha!"

She heard Jasper's voice, but she couldn't bring herself to stop. She needed to bring Riley down. With her own hands. See to it that he could never do the same to anyone else. It took only seconds, and she reached snowy patches as she got higher.

Suddenly, she heard a wolf's yelp and a grunt. Had that been Alice? Sascha stopped herself abruptly. This was not the plan. She was not needed up here. The others needed her, and she needed them. She could not just leave them.

She turned back immediately, slapping herself in the face for the frenzy she had almost fallen in, and pushed herself faster than she had even ran before, branches practically pulverising as they came in contact with her.

Coming back to the field, Sascha's gaze immediately found Alice's form as Jasper took down one of the two newborns that had tackled her to the ground. Sascha sped forward. A crack snapped through the air as she switched places with the other newborn, then immediately twisted around and punched their head off in one swift motion.

Sascha quickly turned around and helped Alice stand back up. „Are you okay?"

„Yes, thank you."

There was no more time for talk. The danger had not been snuffed out just yet. The three dashed off to their next targets. Sascha quickly moved to help out one of the wolves currently tackling three newborns at once. She ran to jump in a big arch over them, twisting in the air to grab one of the newborns and toss them aside. Her feet coming into contact with the ground again, she snatched the first arm she was able to grab, pulled and ripped it off clean, before she punched them into the grass with such a concentrated force, they crumbled to pieces immediately.

Suddenly, Sascha was yanked to the ground from behind. „You abandoned me."

Sascha felt her blood run cold. Or whatever the emotional equivalent of it was in her state.

The voice.

She was able to roll away from the fist that smashed down where her face had been a split second before. She quickly scrambled to her feet, ducked stance and hands ready to defend herself. She felt like tearing the earth apart in guilt when she came face to face with-

„Anna."

The girl's face contorted in animalistic rage, eyes blazing in a bright red fury. She growled dangerously and made to lunge at Sascha again. „You left me behind."

Sascha quickly moved to dodge her, going completely into a defence mode without thinking. „Anna, I'm sorry, I-"

She couldn't finish her sentence. Anna went completely ballistic on her. Clawing, scratching, snatching at her like a wild animal.

„Anna, please stop!"

Her pleas fell on deaf ears. The girl was completely lost to her instincts and rage. Sascha felt completely helpless. She couldn't go against her. Not to kill her, anyway. And that was proving to be her mistake. She started pulling her punches.

Anna had nothing holding her back, she was vicious, a force to be reckoned with. Sascha grunted in pain as Anna managed to sink her teeth into her upper arm for a split second and quickly moved to push her off of herself again.

Suddenly Sascha was grabbed in a headlock from behind by someone bigger than her. She could feel them pressing down on her neck. Could hear the crack of stone. She hissed in pain. And then Anna stood in front of her again.

„We're going to kill you. All of you."

Sascha's terrified, guilt torn look vanished, replaced by some territorial fury instead. And without hesitation, the second the person behind her adjusted their hold to twist off her head, a crack tore through the air, and Sascha watched as Anna's head got torn off instead.

She used the moment of confusion the taller one was in and kicked their knees out under them, causing one shin to fly off immediately, jumped forward and snapped their head off with one clean swipe of her arm.

Do not, ever, threaten my friends.

Sascha lifted a hand to her neck and felt the cracks there quickly healing themselves. Close one.

She wasn't being attacked immediately, causing her suspicion to tighten as she looked around to check the situation. Alice stood several paces away from her, back facing her as she searched the tree lines for hidden newborns.

Suddenly, something touched Sascha's shoulder. She whirled around, snarling and with a fist raised. She relaxed immediately.

It was only Carlisle.

„It's over."

Sascha lowered her arm again and looked around. Emmett was just tossing his last opponent away from him, as were Jasper and Rosalie. They all stood around for a moment, unmoving, taking in the battlefield around them.

Then, as though to erase all proof to their own eyes as soon as possible, they quickly gathered all the fallen bodies while Carlisle started a fire. It felt grounding, sickening and cathartic at the same time to put all remnants of the newborn army into the flames. Sascha tried to tell herself they were putting them to their final rest. Of course it was only a facade to make herself feel better.

„Are you okay?" Alice stood next to Sascha when they were done and gently hugged the taller one around the waist.

„I will be. I hope. You?"

Alice nodded. „Thanks for jumping in there. For coming back."

„I shouldn't have left." Sascha looked at the ground grimly for a moment, shame twisting up her spine.

A hand grabbed her shoulder, firm yet comforting. „You came back, that's what matters." Jasper's voice sounded sincere. No trace of judgement to be found.

Sascha raised her eyes to him and nodded, her lips pressed together firmly. She moved to return Alice's side hug and grabbed Jasper's hand on top of her shoulder. „We did it."

Suddenly, Alice went rigid in Sascha's arm and both the latter and Jasper turned to look at her in worry.

„Alice, what's wrong?" Sascha touched a hand to Alice's cheek as her eyes flitted around erratically.

„The Volturi, they- they'll be here soon."

More bad news.

With a start, Jasper started snarling at something behind her and Alice and Sascha whirled around. Esme, who Sascha only now noticed hadn't taken part in cleaning up the field, came closer to their group, a newborn walking by her. They stood timidly to the side, small and insecure. Despite their non-threatening appearance, Sascha could feel her throat closing up with a growl trying to fight its way out her chest.

Jasper was just about to lunge at them, but Esme quickly positioned herself between her adopted son and the newborn, holding out a hand towards Jasper. „No, wait!"

Carlisle appeared next to them, arm stretched out to grasp Jasper around his shoulders. „She surrendered during the fight."

„That doesn't change anything."

„Jasper, she's a victim. It's not her fault." Esme's voice was pleading. „We can help her."

Sascha's eyes were trained on the newborn. She was so young. She clenched her jaw when her chest felt like it was jolting in pain. Just like Anna. Sascha dared to take a small step closer to the newborn, not wanting to scare her or tick her off. Knowingly, she positioned herself between the newborn and Jasper, still closer to him though. Out of her periphery she could see him rise a little from his crouched position.

„What's your name?"

Her gaze snapped over to her, frightened. She was so on edge, her entire body was shaking. „Bree."

„I got kidnapped by Riley too."

Bree's frightened stance shifted a little as she nodded at Sascha, some fear leaving her eyes as she seemed to understand the connection they shared in a way. Though Bree's fear returned, tenfold, as Sascha heard another, threatening growl come from Jasper.

„If you leave my sight, I will kill you. Understood?"

Bree nodded frantically at him, clinging to Esme's arm as though to hide behind her.

All of them snapped their heads to the tree line when they heard footsteps coming closer. Bella and Edward.

Esme carefully guided Bree several paces away. „There's a human coming. You must control yourself."

Sascha and the others gathered around the fire again and soon after, the couple reached them on the field. Unscathed. Sascha felt her shoulders sag with relief. Only to tense up a moment after when the smell of blood hit her nose. Bella had been wounded.

„How long?" Edward had read Alice's mind about the arrival of the Volturi. He seemed even more stressed than before.

„A few minutes. Maybe ten?"

Sascha immediately moved closer to Bella, seeing dried blood on her lower arm, and reached for it. „You okay?"

Bella nodded, lips pressed together. She still looked shaken up.

Sascha shot an uncertain look over to Bree. She could see the newborn clenching her jaw desperately. Bree grabbed her throat absentmindedly as her nose started twitching more frantically.

„Let me heal that for you, yeah?"

Bella only managed a nod again, and held out her arm a little to Sascha. The latter closed her eyes in concentration, soon feeling the familiar stinging in the crook of her own arm.

„The pack needs to leave", Carlisle looked around worriedly, „The Volturi won't honour a truce with the werewolves."

Suddenly, a stray newborn appeared out of the bushes, stumbling slightly, but eyes wild with bloodlust and rage. The light grey wolf bared its teeth and jumped at it without hesitation.

„Leah don't!", Edward yelled, but it was too late.

It all happened too fast, Sascha had no time to react. By the time she had turned around and dropped Bella's arm, a brown wolf had already tackled the newborn off of Leah. A second later, a sickening crunch reached their ears as the newborn pressed down on the other wolf's torso.

Bella screamed out in terror. „Jacob!"

With a crack, Sascha switched places with Jacob and ducked just in time as the other wolves of the pack snapped their teeth in her and the newborn's direction, ripping them away from her and tearing them to pieces.

Dazed from being almost decapitated, only hearing not feeling her skin merge itself together somewhere on her body, Sascha stumbled back to the Cullens and observed the scene unfolding in front of her.

Jacob had turned into his human form again, Edward and Carlisle kneeling beside him. His mouth agape with a silent scream, his face contorted in agony.

Carlisle carefully took Jacob's arm and felt for the injuries. „The bones on the right half of his body are shattered."

Sascha felt herself whipped around by her shoulder, coming face to face with an upset Alice. „What were you thinking?" Her fingers ghosted over her neck and shoulders, looking for serious injuries.

„I-I don't know. I wasn't."

„Clearly you weren't!"

Sascha didn't know what to say, dumbly opening and closing her mouth. She tried to look at the others for their reaction, but exactly that second they all shifted their gazes back to the hurt pack member, so Sascha turned around again too.

The pack was lifting a wheezing and grunting Jacob on their shoulders, careful to not hurt him further. The pack leader and Carlisle exchanged a nod.

Too much was happening at the same time. Before Sascha could even contemplate that she could help heal Jacob, Alice breathed out a shaken gasp.

„They are coming!"

Jasper quickly grabbed Sascha by her arm and pulled her back behind Esme and Carlisle. She let him. For when her eyes set on the four dark cloaked vampires approaching them, she felt like all air left her body. They were radiating a threatening aura around them. Postures stiff, expressions bland.

Sascha felt a tremor jolt down her spine when she saw how young the two in the middle were. Barely teenagers even. Basically still children. Their red eyes were blazing with some sort of hatred and… thirst for violence. Sascha felt sick just imagining what had made them like this. Or who.

The four Volturi members came to a stop several paces away from them and took off their hoods almost ceremoniously.

When the sole female vampire of their group started talking, Sascha closed her eyes for a moment. Turned at such a young age, probably centuries ago, and made their leader. She had to consciously remind herself that she only looked 13.

„Impressive. I've never seen a coven escape an assault of this magnitude intact."

„We were lucky." Carlisle's voice was carefully guarded in tone.

„I doubt that."

„It appears we missed an entertaining fight." The boy next to the blonde girl spoke, almost mockingly.

Sascha could feel the beginning of a snarl tug at her. Without anybody able to see, Jasper grabbed her lower arm. She could feel him trying to calm her.

„Yes", the blonde agreed, „It is not often we're rendered unnecessary."

„If you arrived a half hour ago, you would have fulfilled your purpose." Edward clutched Bella to his side while he spoke. Sascha wondered if it was for Bella's protection, or his anchoring.

„Pity", the blonde spat in his direction. Then, as her eyes settled on Bree, a tiny, sick smile spread on her face. „You missed one."

Sascha felt Jasper's presence move a few paces away from her as he most likely stepped closer to Bree. Sascha didn't look. She kept her eyes trained on the Volturi.

Carlisle was quick to explain. „We offered her asylum in exchange for her surrender."

The blonde's cold eyes found him for a second. „That wasn't yours to offer." Her focus was back in Bree. „Why did you come?"

Sascha saw the tiniest twitch in her eyes, as though in concentration, then suddenly, Bree started screaming in utter agony and dropped to the ground. Writhing in pain.

„Who created you?"

Horrified, Sascha looked back and forth between the screaming newborn, and the Volturi girl. What?

„You don't need to do that. She'll tell you anything you wanna know", Esme pleaded with a pained voice.

Sascha felt her stomach cave in when she saw the blonde one smile in devilish satisfaction. It was her own doing.

„I know."

Bree stopped screaming and crying then, gasping for air instead, when the torture inflicted upon her ceased. „I- I don't know. Riley wouldn't tell us", Bree tried to explain desperately, pushing herself up on her lower arms. „He said our thoughts weren't safe."

Before being able to stop herself, Sascha felt the words tumble out of her mouth. „It's true."

The blonde Volturi snatched her gaze at her suddenly. As though, up until this moment, she hadn't even seen her. Sascha felt her throat constricting immediately. She wanted to smack her own head. When would she learn to think?

„Her name was Victoria", Edward was quick to interject, pulling the attention to him. „Perhaps you knew her."

„Edward, if the Volturi had knowledge of Victoria, they would've stopped her", Carlisle turned to the blonde one again. „Isn't that right, Jane?"

„Of course", Jane muttered.

It was obvious that all of them knew the truth. They had been letting this go on without control. Putting them all at risk intentionally.

Jane then turned her head to the freakishly tall man standing to her left. „Felix."

The man in question immediately moved forward with a murderous expression shadowing his face. Sascha looked around frantically, not exactly knowing what was happening but definitely registering that whatever it was, it was bad. Unconsciously, she moved herself a little in front of Bree.

„She didn't know what she was doing", Esme quickly said, desperation in her voice. „We'll take responsibility for her."

„Give her a chance." Carlisle gave Jane a subtly imploring look.

To no avail.

„The Volturi don't give second chances", her voice was loud and cold as stone. Her eyes travelled the group, finally settling on Bella. „Keep that in mind. Caius will be interested to know that she's still human."

„The date is set." Albeit shaking, Bella tried to sound strong. Not wanting to let Jane think she was intimidating her.

Jane ignored her, looking at nothing in particular as she addressed her fellow Volturi member again. „Take care of that, Felix. I'd like to go home."

Felix kept walking forward then, easily passing through the Cullens as no one dared to do anything. They couldn't do anything. Sascha stood directly in his path, unable to move out of it. But she didn't have to, as he merely pushed her aside without sparring her as much as a glance. Sascha stumbled a little, releasing a breath caught in her throat. She couldn't believe this was happening.

Felix bent down to Bree and yanked her up forcefully, the poor girl whimpering in fear, trying to fight him off.

Jasper had turned his back to the scene, head lowered. Sascha reached forward to grab his hand and felt her throat constrict yet again when she saw his pained expression. He could feel everything that Bree was going through in that moment. It pained Sascha too.

So she kept her eyes trained on his, offering silent support, since there was nothing else she could do, as Bree's desperate screams stopped with a deafening crunch of stone.

***

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

16. A Hand Shake

They had decided to go back to the Cullen's as soon as possible. Edward had insisted on Bella getting a proper meal and Esme had been more than happy to prepare something for her. Especially after what had happened to Jacob, Bella was still more than shaken up. On the way there, Edward and Bella had told the others what had happened up in the mountains.

The fight against Victoria and Riley. Bella cutting herself to draw their attention. Edward finally being able to bring Victoria down. The story had been told quickly, but it had been intense nonetheless, of course. Though Sascha had remained antsy about what exactly had happened to Riley. Edward hadn't specified anything. From what he had told them, he had been busy dealing with Victoria.

Back at the house, Carlisle immediately went to get his med kit, while the others gathered in the kitchen. Nobody was really in the mood for talking, but the silence seemed uncomfortable as well. Sascha leaned against the kitchen isle, tugging at her torn sleeves with pursed lips. With a sigh, she tore them off slowly, turning it into a t-shirt. She'd throw it out later anyway, but she couldn't stand the frayed holes and tears a moment longer.

Emmett, who stood next to her, cringed when he saw her skin. „Oh, you got bit there, huh?"

Sascha rolled her eyes and nodded. „Shoulder too. So stupid."

„Use your venom", Jasper suggested. „It should smoothen them at least. They'll fade over time."

„Yeah…" She was grateful the others didn't keep looking when she gingerly licked her own thumb and ran it across the fresh bite marks. To her surprise, it actually felt soothing.

Alice sighed heavily across from her. „That poor girl."

„Those damned bastards", Emmett balled his hands into fists, „Take away their power, see how brave they are then."

Sascha raised an eyebrow tiredly. „Isn't that the whole point?"

„They are vile", Esme agreed as she turned around and put a plate with an expertly cut and topped sandwich in front of Bella.

Carlisle returned from upstairs, bag under his arm. He seemed to hesitate for a moment.

Edward cleared his throat. „Just ask her."

Sascha felt a certain level of satisfaction when she noticed everyone reacting at least a little bit annoyed.

„Sascha, would you feel comfortable coming with me?"

Earlier she had considered that for a moment herself. She nodded and pushed herself off the kitchen isle. „Yeah, sure."

It didn't go unnoticed by her that no one seemed too happy about the idea. Not even Carlisle himself. However, Jasper and Alice looked particularly uncertain. She moved around the counter and gave Alice a quick side hug and squeezed Jasper's shoulder. „See you guys later."

„Be careful." Jasper looked just as tired as she felt.

„Always am."

Alice scoffed, though there was a tiny smile on her face. „Only if that were true."

***

When they got to the Reservation, and Carlisle pulled the car over, Sascha could tell he was tense about being there. It had to be weird for him. A decades old feud and reluctant truce. Long nurtured hatred. And now he was stepping on their land. Sascha didn't have her own emotional connection to it, but even to her it seemed out of place. At least seeing Carlisle so out of character.

For a moment, Carlisle didn't move, hands still on the steering wheel. Then he heaved a heavy sigh. „Let's get going."

After getting out the car, Sascha waited by the car boot as Carlisle grabbed his equipment and let him walk ahead. The pack were waiting for them. Sascha's gaze flitted around the group and started to wring her hands uncomfortably when their entire mood shifted upon seeing her. Even if they were not in their wolf form, she could practically feel the inaudible growls of them all. The air was thick with tension.

„Wait", the leader, Sam, if Sascha remembered correctly, took a demanding step forward. „What is the Red-Eye doing here?"

„My eyes aren't even red anymore. What's your problem?" Sascha felt irritation creep up inside of her.

Another one stepped forward, expression hard with anger. „We only allowed you, doctor."

„Sascha has healing abilities", Carlisle quickly interjected, raising his hands in a non-threatening manner, „She'll assist me in setting Jacob's bones."

„We don't need help healing!", Sam spat in disgust.

Sascha was just about to snap back, when the door to the house opened and a middle-aged man using a wheelchair came out. A woman with long flowing black hair walked behind him, aiding him outside. „Sam, let them." His face was ridden with worry and pain. „He's inside, doc. In his room."

Carlisle nodded and gently put a hand on Sascha's back, guiding her to walk in front of him. Sascha reckoned he didn't want her to be out of his sight in this situation. They quickly entered the house, Sascha wanted the staring to stop.

It wasn't difficult to find where Jacob's room was. Sascha only had to follow her nose. Jacob was laying on his bed, covered in sweat and wet towels around him, a bucket of water on the floor next to him.

He looked at Sascha in displeased confusion. „What are you doing here?" His voice was soar, and weak.

Sascha only rolled her eyes, not in the mood to give more stupid explanations that wouldn't be appreciated anyway. Carlisle took over the situation immediately. He quickly moved over to Jacob and put his medical kit on the floor.

„Let me see…"

Carlisle carefully felt around Jacob's shoulder, arm and torso. Jacob flinched every now and again. Sascha stood in a corner uneasily, craning her neck a little to look over Carlisle's shoulder, and cringed. She could see Jacob's rib cage bending sideways in a way it shouldn't. So was his upper arm.

She heard another pair of footsteps entering the house, and took a step back from the door frame to make way for whoever it was. She didn't want to be too close to anyone she didn't need to. It was Sam.

„How's it looking, doc?"

Carlisle didn't look away from Jacob, feeling out the extent of his injuries. „Jacob, most of your bones have already healed themselves, I'm afraid. They're not positioned how they should be. I wish I could have set them immediately."

„What does that-", a cough interrupted Jacob, visibly bringing him pain. He took a deep breath before he continued. „What does that mean?"

Carlisle carefully put Jacob's arm back down and gave him an apologetic look. „I have to re-break your bones, so I can set them." He turned around to look at Sascha. „Do you think you can heal him immediately as I do so, to minimise the pain as much as possible?"

Sascha nodded. „I can try."

When she wanted to move closer to Jacob, Sam's hand clamped down on her shoulder.

„What do you think you're doing?"

Sascha groaned in annoyance. „Healing him? Don't act like I'm trying to kill him."

„Heal him from here."

„For heaven's sake… I need to touch him to be able to heal him. Just let me help."

„We don't know you, so don't expect me to trust-"

Before Sam could finish his sentence, Sascha swiftly turned, grabbed him by his wrist and slashed a fingernail across his lower arm, drawing some blood. It was only on the surface level. Immediately, Sam started growling dangerously, so did Jacob, but before anything else could happen, Sam's expression changed from furious, to confused as he watched the cut disappear immediately. Without a trace.

She dropped Sam's arm and showed him her own, sporting a thin silvery line. „See? Didn't feel that much, right?" She was really tired of this kindergarten. Couldn't they bother someone else with their testosterone?

Sam only grunted in response and nodded his head in Jacob's direction. Giving her permission. As if she needed that from him.

„Besides", she bit at him, „We just fought an army together. A little bit of trust would be nice."

Sascha kneeled on the ground next to Jacob and waited for Carlisle's instructions. He was currently gathering bandages out of his medical kit, presumably to stabilise Jacob's limbs once he'd have them set. Then, he fetched a needle and a small medicine bottle and pulled some of the liquid into the syringe.

„I'll give you some morphine before we start, okay?"

Jacob nodded tensely, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

Carlisle prepped the needle and made quick work to inject Jacob with it. „Sascha, I'll work from his torso up."

„Alright", Sascha hesitantly reached for Jacob's hand, „I know you won't care for it, but you can press down on my hand if it all gets too much. I'll do my best to work against the pain."

„Whatever. Let's just get this over with." Despite his words, Sascha could feel his hand tighten ever so slightly in anticipation. He probably didn't realise himself.

Carlisle looked at Jacob, then Sascha. „Ready?"

They nodded again. Sascha sat a little straighter and closed her eyes, concentrating on Jacob's blood flow and heart beat. She still wasn't sure how healing worked, but even just from that she could feel in her own body that his bones were not set correctly.

She heard the first of Jacob's bones crack then. Jacob screamed out in pain, his hand clamping around Sascha's like a vice, as she felt stinging pain around her ribs. Sascha quickly reached to clasp her other hand around Jacob's as well. She ground her teeth, trying to breathe deeply. She did her best to let her ability take over so her mind wouldn't get in the way. It seemed to work.

Broken bones were not the same as a cut. It was much harder to immediately take away the pain. But she was successful to some extent. Sascha's healing in combination with the morphine helped lessen the pain at least to a level where Jacob didn't have to scream his soul out after a couple of set bones.

When the doctor was done with Jacob's torso, both Sascha and Jacob turned Carlisle's offer for a pause down. Both wanted it done as quickly as possible.

Though Sascha had to admit, at least to herself, she was feeling herself grow tired. Her grip on her ability was weakening. So she had her limits here, too. She felt disappointed in herself when Jacob's grunts of pain were becoming a little louder again. She adjusted her grip on him, one hand on his wrist, the other reached for his uninjured shoulder, as Carlisle started working on Jacob's crooked arm. At least they were almost done.

Sam decided to try and break her concentration then. „Weren't you supposed to take the pain away?"

Sascha snarled a little, paired with a grunt of pain when Carlisle set another bone. „This is a lot harder than it looks, and I don't think you realise that."

That shut Sam up immediately. Good. Fucking prick. Before she could let her thoughts run rampant with annoyance, the sound of a car approaching distracted her. Then Bella's scent hit her nose.

„Is that Bella's car?", Jacob gasped out between his heavy breaths.

Carlisle hummed in confirmation. „Two more, son, you're almost through", he tried to reassure. „You're doing well, Sascha."

When he set the last bone, Sascha gasped out in pain as well as she felt the stinging sensation in two places in her own lower arm a second later. Though her sounds of pain were still much quieter than those of Jacob.

„That's it." Carlisle set Jacob's arm down carefully, and moved to prepare some bandages.

„I want to see her."

Boys. So simple.

Sascha sat back with an exhausted sigh and tried stretching her arm and shoulder to get some relief. It didn't really work.

Carlisle gave her a worried look. „Are you okay?"

„Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just need a moment."

Carlisle nodded, and quickly wrapped the bandages around Jacob to stabilise him. „Although you should be fully healed now, you are still quite sensitive and prone to re-break for some hours. You should keep resting for as long as you need. Given your own body's healing, I'd say you should be good by noon tomorrow."

Jacob was breathing heavily, almost like he had run a marathon. „Thank you, doc."

„Of course. I'll set up a morphine drip for you." Carlisle started packing his kit. „I'll be back in a moment. Sascha?"

Sascha pushed herself to her feet, feeling some dizziness clinging to her head. „I'm coming."

They turned to leave.

„Hey, Red-Eye."

Sascha stopped at the door and turned back to Jacob with an annoyed expression. „Do you not want to at least try to not piss me-"

„-Seth got the bloodsucker that dragged you down in this mess. Tore him to pieces", Jacob gave a weak, but cocky smirk at Sascha's speechless reaction. „Thought you'd like to know."

As far as 'thank yous' went, Sascha reckoned this was the closest Jacob would ever get to expressing that to her. She gave him a short nod, and followed Carlisle out the house. Sam closed Jacob's door behind himself.

Out front, the rest of the pack, the man (presumably his father) and the woman were waiting with Bella, who looked more than distraught. Sascha had heard one of them snapping at Leah a second before, but their conversation ceased when they exited the house. Everyone was looking at Carlisle expectantly, but also concerned.

„The worst is over. He'll be alright", Carlisle explained quickly, soothing the group. „I gave him some morphine, but his body temperature will burn it off soon. I'll come back to set up a drip."

Carlisle and Sascha made to leave for the car, when Jacob's father raised his voice.

„Thank you."

Sascha could sense Carlisle's surprise. She couldn't say she wasn't surprised herself. Given their history, this was a huge step.

Carlisle nodded at him and reached a hand out for him to shake, which the man took. Surprising Sascha further, he turned to her.

„You too, uh-"

„Sascha", she quickly offered and gave him a nod, acknowledging his appreciation.

He mirrored her action. She could see some kind of a hidden smile tug at the lines beneath his eyes. „Billy."

Carlisle turned to Bella. „He's asking for you."

Bella nodded and scrambled to enter the house without a second thought.

Though Sascha certainly did not fancy hearing whatever conversation was going to transpire between the two, she didn't follow Carlisle to the car right away. „I'll come in a moment, yeah?"

„Of course."

Sascha turned to the others, trying and failing to swallow her uneasiness. The pack looked at her weirdly. Both untrusting, and somewhat curious.

„Uh… who of you is Seth?"

The youngest looking of the group perked up upon hearing his name. A childlike excitement bubbling up in him. Sascha immediately found him likeable. He was far less hostile.

„That's me."

„Jacob said you killed one of the vampires who started this entire newborn army shit? Riley?"

Seth nodded, pride prominent in his smile. Sascha could swear, if she were still human, she would be breaking down in tears with relief. Despite herself, despite the situation, she took three quick steps forward, ignoring the sounds of protest by the others, and engulfed Seth in a hug.

„Thank you."

„Hey, get off him!", Leah yelled, but got quiet really quick when Seth carefully hugged her back.

„You're welcome."

Remembering the situation, and remembering herself, Sascha let go of the boy and cleared her throat awkwardly. She could feel that nobody really knew how to handle this situation. „Uh, yeah." She walked a few paces backwards, away from the middle of the group, gave a clumsy, yet again unnecessary, wave and zoomed back to the car. Trying to ignore the snickering of some of the guys. She was unsuccessful. Of course.

***

Chapter Text

17. Good Friend

Sascha only really registered that it was deep in the night already, when she and Carlisle got back to the house. The lights on the lower floor had been turned off, indicating that everyone had already retired to their rooms for some quiet and calm.

„You did really well today, Sascha. It was kind of you to help Jacob."

Sascha ducked out of the car. „I'm glad at least you saw it that way."

„I wish our kind could see eye to eye more frequently. Our goals are not so different, if we were ready to realise that." Carlisle sighed heavily.

„People can be frustratingly stubborn, huh?"

Carlisle and her shared a soft laugh as they entered the house through the garage.

„Go get some rest, love", he rested a hand on her upper back, „You've earned it."

Sascha nodded and gave him a quick, affectionate side-hug. „You too, Carlisle."

They parted ways at the top of the stairs. Sascha thought for a moment. Rest in her room alone? Find Alice, or Jasper? Were they together already anyway?

First, she opted for a change of clothes. She entered her room quietly and, after pulling the door shut behind her, took her torn shirt off right away. She inspected her scars in the mirror. They were not too prominent. Jasper's reminder to use the venom proved itself useful. She could see small, silvery lines covering the left side of her torso and left arm. The aftermath of healing Jacob's bones. She checked her right fist quickly. Where Bella's cracked knuckles had shown themselves. They were almost gone. If she hadn't known they were there, she wouldn't even be able to see them anymore.

She tossed her torn shirt into the dustbin that stood next to her desk and grabbed a different shirt that conveniently hung over her chair, a simple green long sleeve. Her trousers had survived intact. Luckily. They were too comfortable.

When she pulled the shirt over her head, her eyes fell on the letters she had prepared for the others. Sascha reached out to it and ran her fingers over the paper for a beat, thinking about the very different result this day could have entailed for her. She picked it up and quickly stuffed it into her closet between some t-shirts. She didn't want to throw them away, but also not risk anyone finding them.

Sascha was just about to leave her room, when her hand stilled on the door handle. She felt like going to the roof instead. Even if she was alone there, it continued to give her great comfort. And if the others came looking for her, at least Alice and Jasper knew where to find her. So she left through her balcony doors, nimbly jumped up to grab the roof and pulled herself up. She stilled in surprise.

„Fancy seeing you here, Mr. Hale."

Jasper was resting against the chimney, legs stretched out, hands resting behind his head. A tired smirk showed on his face. „Good evening, ma'am."

„Now I feel bad that I didn't bring any tea." Sascha settled down cross-legged next to him, some paces between them.

„I have no books to offer. It seems your chance is not forlorn yet."

Sascha breathed a laugh through her nose. „How are you doing?"

„You make it seem this was my first battle, and not yours."

„Even so. Your family was threatened this time."

„Also not the first."

Sascha raised an almost tired eyebrow at him then, shaking her head with the ghost of a smile as she saw his lopsided one.

„I am quite well. We came out unharmed, my family remains intact." Jasper seemed to search her face for something. A frown tugged at his brow. „And you, Sascha?"

Sascha found herself giving a helpless shrug. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. She lowered her gaze with a sigh and twisted her fingers around themselves. „I don't know."

Jasper moved from his leaned back position to sit forward, closing some of the distance between the two. „It's a lot. I understand."

Sascha nodded. Glad he took some of the pressure by talking for her. Her gaze was still fixed on her fingers.

„I want to be honest with you. You will feel some guilt at some point", Jasper paused for a moment. Sascha didn't look up, but she assumed he was gauging out her reaction. „I want you to be prepared for those feelings."

To some extent, she was feeling guilty already. But for a different reason than what Jasper was referring to. She knew they had to be taken out. If they even had had the option of merely fighting them off and letting them go, they surely would've killed many many people. That was not where her guilt was coming from. It confused her.

„You are already feeling guilty?"

Again she nodded slowly. „But not… not because I ended lives today. It was necessary, even if it wasn't their fault."

„Do you want to tell me why then you're feeling guilty?" Jasper's voice was incredibly soft. Almost velvety as he tried to be a calming source to her.

Sascha struggled again to find the words. Then, Jasper's hand touched down onto her fidgeting ones and she finally raised her eyes to meet his. Deep worry showed all over his face.

„Do you want me to help you?"

She hesitated for a moment. Was she being a coward for not being able to speak her trouble? She should be able to do so on her own. Without help.

„There's nothing to be ashamed of, Sascha."

She felt soothed immediately. Even if it didn't reach her face, she could feel the muscles twitch to form a smile, realising he had repeated her own words back to him. It already felt like an eternity away.

She gave him another nod.

A second later Sascha felt a serene calm wash over her gently. With a start, the knot in her throat and head were unravelling. She hadn't even noticed how much she was already blocking away. Breathing felt easier immediately. Being felt easier. She sighed heavily and, pulling a hand out underneath Jasper's, rubbed her forehead. „Thank you."

A small smile settled on Jasper's face. „Anytime, Darlin'." He then leaned back again, waiting for her to voice her troubles.

„I don't know, it's just-", she sighed once more, „It could've been me on the other side of that field today. What happened to that girl, Bree, or- or what I had to do with Anna? That was almost me. Had I not left that day", another short pause, „But I did leave. And it wasn't me. It just feels wrong, even if it shouldn't."

„That sounds a little like you're experiencing some level of survivor's guilt."

„Maybe", Sascha lowered her head again, „I'm not sure."

„I don't deem myself an expert, and it doesn't matter what your emotions would be labelled clinically. They sure are understandable."

„Shouldn't I be feeling relieved that I got out unscathed?" She hated feeling so… small. So weak.

„This mess had you turned into a vampire, Sascha", Jasper was careful with his tone. She could hear the minor pitch change, „and you saw what happened to the others. Like you said yourself. Of course you're shaken by just imagining yourself in their stead. You must mourn that", he reached out to her again, this time laying a comforting hand on her shoulder, „and you must mourn your lost mortality too. You didn't come out unscathed."

Sascha felt her eyes burn as he said those words. She looked up at him, lips tugging down in a frown, pain clenching her still heart. He had put the finger right in the wound. His eyes were full of sympathy and understanding. Sascha could tell though, it wasn't his gift that made him understand. He understood on an organic level. He understood, because he had been there too.

She closed her eyes miserably and let herself tip forward to drop her forehead down to Jasper's shoulder. He adjusted his arm immediately to rest his hand at the back of her neck, holding her there, gently stroking his thumb through her hair.

They just sat in silence for a while. Sascha tried to keep her focus on her unnecessary breathing and Jasper's hand on her neck. She didn't want the world to close in on her again.

„Will it get better?" She didn't need to ask if he had felt the same back then. She knew. She could feel it.

„With time. I promise."

A long stretched moment passed. Without words, though not quite in silence. A breeze ruffled the treetops in the distance. Somewhere came the soft hooting of an owl in the mountains. The unused house appliances making their usual occasional noise. Jasper's fingers making scratching noises against her hair.

Eventually, minutes turned into an hour. Sascha had focused on the moonlight shifting slowly behind her closed eyelids.

„I thought everything would get easier now. And less scary," Sascha's voice was barely a whisper. Too low definitely for human ears to pick up on, „I was wrong."

„How so?"

„I got so used to just wait everything out. And now it's over, so now comes even more uncertainty. I had something to focus on, lots of distraction. Until now."

Jasper's hand stilled for a brief moment before he replied. „How about continuing where you left off?"

„It seems so impossible now." Sascha swallowed heavily at the thought. She would have to re-learn a lot of things, adjust greatly to what used to be her normal daily life. Keep secrets.

„You can make it work. I didn't know you as a human, but the way you adapted to everything that happened, I'm certain you will find a way to make it work with your life from before."

Sascha finally leaned back again to sit upright, Jasper pulled his hand back to himself. She smiled weakly, even if she knew it wasn't convincing. „I'll try to keep those words in mind."

Jasper frowned a little. „Your fear is understandable, though. Don't push it away."

Sascha breathed a laugh through her nose. She felt almost caught by him. Of course trying to put on a front wouldn't work.

„Yeah", her voice was down to a whisper again, before she spoke up once more, „It'll be weird having to lie to my friends. I think that's what scares me too. Not knowing what to say, and how they'll react. There's only so much I can explain away with the abduction. Skin hard as stone doesn't really fit that category."

They shared a chuckle then. It was too ridiculous in its own way.

Jasper shook his head with a small smile. „I must admit, I don't have a solution for that either. Only the knowledge that humans like to believe what they want. They are gullible in that way."

That elicited a genuine laugh from Sascha, even if it came out more like a snort. „Well, you're not wrong."

A moment of comfortable silence spread between the two. Sascha dipped deeper into her thoughts for a moment. She felt a pang of irony tugging in her gut. Yeah… talking actually helped.

Who would've thought.

Was being sarcastic at herself for actually exercising a healthy way to cope undermining said healthy coping? Probably. She'd get there. Eventually. That day had been entirely too overwhelming on its own, even excluding everything that happened leading up to that point.

The fight, Anna, the Volturi, Bree, the pack, Jacob getting hurt. Filtering through those thoughts, Sascha felt herself grow confused for a moment.

She looked up. „Jasper? Can I ask what happened with that girl? Bree?"

He seemed lost as to what exact situation she was referring to, but nodded nonetheless.

„I'm sorry if this is too personal. But I was a little surprised by your reaction to her, even after Esme explained she had surrendered."

It didn't go unnoticed by her how Jasper's shoulders tensed. „She was a newborn trained to kill us. I had to make sure."

„Yeah, I understand", Sascha nodded slowly, „I reckon I'm just confused in a way?"

„Confused?"

„Not to be weirdly self-indulgent", her tone rose as she tried to lift some of the tense mood again, „but I feel like if you had reacted even remotely similarly when I barged into your territory back then, I wouldn't be sitting here anymore."

Jasper seemed stumped for a brief moment, most likely reflecting back. „Nothing gets past your observance, does it?"

„Sorry not sorry, I guess?" Sascha couldn't stop the short laugh escaping her.

He shook his head with a chuckle of his own. „I hadn't realised my different reactions, to be honest. When I think back to it, you didn't pose as much of a threat."

„Even though we were all actively engaged in a fight?"

Jasper cocked his head to the side a little. „It doesn't make much sense to me as of right now either. Though I also recall being surprised by your reaction", he looked intently at her then, continuing when she frowned in confusion, „Usually, when encountering vampires with lots of bite marks, such as mine, there is a lot of animosity to be expected. Especially from newborns."

Sascha's brows rose in surprise. „Is that so?"

„It exudes immense threat. And you didn't even flinch at it."

„To be honest, I never even paid attention to them until you showed them to Bella that one day."

„Not to overstep, but sometimes it does seem like all your instincts are just… asleep."

Sascha chuckled. „Believe it or not, but you're not the first to tell me."

„I believe it", Jasper shook his head with a smile, „Maybe it was the combination then. Of you not feeling threatened, aside from the obvious fight, and thus not presenting as a bigger threat to us. Or me."

She nodded at his reasoning. „Could be."

„Whatever the case", he put a hand on her shoulder, warmth spreading through her, „I'm glad we came to a peaceful resolution. Wouldn't want to miss having you 'round here."

„Aw, you big softie", Sascha cooed and reached over to side-hug him around the waist, pulling herself to sit beside him, „I'm glad too."

Jasper draped his arm across her shoulder and they fell into a comfortable silence once more. Sascha did consider asking about how he was faring after having to feel another poor soul being killed at the hands of others. But she somehow got the feeling that he either did not want to talk about it, or already found peace with it. She chose to trust that he would have mentioned it earlier if it really were a bother to him.

After a while, Sascha felt Jasper perk up a little beside her. She looked at him with a curious look, smiling when she saw excitement pulling at his features.

„I've got an idea", he rose to his feet quickly, pulling Sascha up with him, „Come with me."

Sascha found herself giggling as Jasper swiftly pulled her through the house, and soon to the garage. She followed where he was looking. A similar excitement spread through her.

„You are a good friend, Jasper."

She almost had to stop herself from jumping on his motorcycle first. Even if accident-proof, being a vampire hadn't suddenly granted her the ability to drive such a vehicle. Probably… Either way, she reigned herself back and waited until she got on behind Jasper as he turned on the engine and reached for a remote to open the garage door. And out into the still dark night and fresh air they drove.

Sascha kept a tight grip on Jasper's shoulders as she leaned her head up, relishing in the air and wind around her face and in her hair. Enjoying that it didn't feel cold at all. Just freeing. A huge, genuine smile spread on her face. And as they drove deeper into the woods, soon snaking along the road up the mountains at high speeds, she could feel a similar energy coming off of Jasper.

A good friend indeed.

***

Chapter Text

18. 80 Years

Sascha was leaning down on the balcony rail, propped on her elbows, another larger stone in her hands. Yet again carving away at it to pass the time. She tried to ignore her sparkling skin that kept catching in the corner of her eyes. But she did want to enjoy the slowly setting sun before it vanished behind the tree line. She was content in that quiet moment.

It had been five days since the fight and a careful sense of normalcy was starting to settle in their routine again. Excluding the now deemed unnecessary patrol around Bella's house of course. Though, with how much time Edward was secretly spending at his girlfriend's - no, fiancee's - house, no patrol on top would have been needed anyway.

Fiancee. Sascha was not surprised they were getting married, she had congratulated Bella warm heartedly. However, she couldn't help but think that there was still some growth needed, especially on Edward's part. And probably on Bella's too. She was only 18 after all. Why rush…?

Sascha shook her head once to herself. As though to abandon the thought. It wasn't her place to put any kind of judgment on their relationship, or their decision to marry. Bella was marrying into a wonderful family at least. That much she was sure of. They would make it easier for her to spend eternity with Eddy Dearest. She still had to smirk a little remembering Edward's face when this thought had crossed her mind the first time.

His own fault for snooping into her head, really.

A soft knock brought Sascha out of her musings. She wondered for a split second who it could be. Alice and Jasper were still out for a hunt.

„Come in." She turned to look over her shoulder and smiled when Carlisle entered her room. „Hi."

Carlisle gave her a soft smile of his own. „Do you have a moment, Sascha?"

„Of course." Sascha stood straighter and leaned her back against the rail instead.

Carlisle closed the door behind himself and joined her on the balcony, eyeing the half finished sea shell in Sascha's hands curiously. „I see you're being creative again."

„Yeah", Sascha chuckled, „Have to keep these hands busy."

„A healthy habit", he nodded, then a sense of seriousness settled on his face. „I come to ask you about how you want to continue from now on."

„Oh… yeah." Sascha felt stunted for a second. Of course she had been thinking about it. Every day. But she had also expertly pushed any kind of progressive thinking away. Only stressing about having to decide soon and make a plan. Never actually thinking about what she could do, and when.

„I've been observing the news in Seattle and since there hasn't been any more… occurrences, it seems the situation is going to relax soon."

Sascha nodded as she listened to him. „I see. Yeah that makes sense."

Carlisle obviously noticed her hesitation. „Of course you can stay here with us for as long as you like and need. We deeply enjoy having you around."

„I appreciate that. I really do. I think it's best if I maybe stay for another week or two? To kind of wait and see how the media and police are going to handle all this. I'm supposed to be in protection by the police after all."

Carlisle nodded at her reasoning. „I agree. I would've suggested the same at the very least. Returning before the police know the attacks have stopped would raise some uncomfortable questions."

„Yeah", Sascha nodded too, before lowering her eyes to her hands. „But then… then I need to go back again, I'm afraid."

„Would you like someone to accompany you? So you wouldn't be left alone with all the questions?"

She snapped her gaze back to him in surprise. „Would you?"

„Sascha", Carlisle reached a hand out to put on her shoulder, „of course. That's not even a question."

His kindness, all of their kindness, would be the death of her some day. Continuously making her heart melt in her chest. They were doing so much for her. She gave Carlisle a tiny smile. „Then I would like that a lot."

He gave a comforting squeeze, like he did so often. „It will give us a sense of peace to see you off safely as well."

And so they agreed to wait a little while longer to find a fitting moment to announce Sascha's return. She would be giving her father a call before going back, of course. She didn't want to risk him suffering a heart attack if she were to just stand in front of his door suddenly.

When Jasper and Alice returned from their hunt that day, she informed them of her plans and talk with Carlisle. They seemed to mirror her own inner turmoil. Happy for her to be able to return to her family, though also downcast in the face of her leaving.

Sascha noticed she was starting to feel weirdly lost in time, in a way. After anticipating the end of their problems at hand for so long, she found herself wishing to be able to go back into a state of waiting. Not having to decide anything. Like she had told Jasper - now she had to get used to another phase again. And it scared her.

If possible, she spent even more time with Jasper and Alice. Though, she had been doing that before a lot as well. On a couple afternoons she also found herself finally joining Emmett for some rounds of his beloved video games. She wondered why she hadn't done that sooner. However, after hearing how absolutely livid and loud Emmett would get during a game, she came to the conclusion that Emmett couldn't have picked up a controller after she had arrived at their home. Sascha would have heard.

Alice started filling her in on some things Sascha would have to keep an eye on when among humans. Mannerisms, ways to regulate her strength or situations where she'd need to pretend straining, simple explanations for questions that would surely come concerning her appearance, and the like. Alice had found it extra important to speak to her about the latter in most detail. According to her, Edward had done such a horrendous job at being subtle back when he had met Bella, Alice wanted to make sure that Sascha would be equipped with better wit. Sascha had to laugh at that. Grateful for the teaching and confident in her own creativity, she didn't doubt being able to conceal the most precarious things about her state of being. Though at times exhausting, masking and adapting did come quite naturally to her.

At night, Alice and Sascha took to taking strolls around the more closely inhabited neighbourhoods of Forks. Testing out how Sascha would do with more humans, more heartbeats in her vicinity. It was still too big a risk to go out during daytime. They had managed this long without any stranger recognising her face, they really didn't want any complications right before it all came to an end anyway. So night would have to make do. It was good enough, though. Sascha did feel the strain, did feel how it made her feel more uncomfortable compared to just one human. However, there were no signs of her wanting to act on that strain. Luckily. At least it gave Sascha a sense of what to expect once she would be surrounded by humans again.

And so, June turned to July. The panic in and around Seattle started to settle down. Investigations were diverted and focused to victim recovery more than going after suspects. Of course, no victims would be coming back.

No victims, except for Sascha, that is. The thought still felt sour to her.

Now that leads weren't falsified to keep the police off Victoria's and Riley's trail, it didn't take the police that much longer to find the ruined and abandoned factory where Sascha and the others had been kept all those months ago.

Sascha was sitting in the living room with Alice and Jasper when those news were released to the public, the TV running quietly in the background as they spent some quiet time together, all three of them reading on their own. Sascha felt the mood shift the tiniest bit when the news section came to an end and a commercial for cereal started running instead. She lowered her book, as did Jasper who sat next to her.

„This is it." Alice's voice was so small, so vulnerable. But she spoke with a sense of finality. Sascha could guess this was not the first time Alice had seen the news.

Sascha nodded, almost absentmindedly. „It looks like it." She fell silent, trying to process… everything. As seemed the other two.

Suddenly, again, action was inevitable. She had enjoyed repressing the reality of the situation for long enough now. A thought crossed her mind, causing her to breathe out a laugh. She raised her head a little, meeting Jasper's and Alice's already expecting eyes.

„Had anyone told me, that at the end of this, I would actually be reluctant to leave…", she trailed off, not exactly knowing how to finish that thought. It had seemed too impossible then, almost still seemed impossible in that moment. And yet, it had happened.

„Well I, for one, am not surprised at all." Alice pursed her lips, trying to hide away the smile there.

The trio shared a laugh then, lifting some of the tension that had started to settle down.

„I'll definitely come visit you", Sascha finally closed the book, that she still had resting on her lap, and set it aside, „and who knows. Maybe, if after 80 years I grow dreadfully bored, I'll just stick around to pester you for a little longer."

Jasper hummed. „Maybe don't wait 80 years."

The sincerity in his eyes, as well as Alice's, hit Sascha in the depths of her heart. She thought herself silly to feel yet again surprised that they, and the others, actually liked to have her around. It wasn't like she had never been made to feel like she was wanted around, or that she belonged. However, no matter with who or when, it still had always come as a surprise to her. Silly enough.

She nodded finally and tried to swallow, a lump threatening to grow. „I'll make sure to not let you guys forget my face."

Alice tilted her head in confusion. „You're definitely coming to the wedding, right?"

„I don't even know if I'm invi-"

„-Of course you are!", Alice exclaimed immediately, at the same time as Jasper laughed with a shake of his head. „Sascha, honestly."

Sascha could feel embarrassment burning in her chest, glad to not have it show in a blush anymore. But then she felt defeated again when a mere glance at Jasper, who had even more trouble concealing his mirth, showed her she was beyond transparent either way. „Well, I-"

Suddenly her face was held firmly around the cheeks with dainty hands. Alice had gotten up from her seat, for a change the tiny vampire now towering over the other. Her hands were almost shaking with strain as Alice was trying to refrain from squeezing Sascha's face with more force. „You are invited. And your dress will be gorgeous."

„You already saw it, huh?" Sascha felt her cheeks squish the tiniest bit as she spoke, eyes locked with Alice's.

„Of course."

„Will you tell me where to get one?"

„Not a chance. You'll find it yourself."

Sascha saw Jasper's arm reach into her field of vision as he leaned forward to ruffle Alice's hair with a snicker. „Look at you not taking control what people wear all the time."

„Jasper Whitlock!" Alice removed herself quickly, immediately pushing his hand back and fussing over her hair frantically.

Sascha couldn't help herself, she burst out laughing, joining in on Jasper's chuckles. It was so silly, so carefree.

Maybe 80 years really were too long a time to wait.

***

Sascha stood in the woods awkwardly, wringing her hands.

„This is not a good idea."

Sascha merely hummed in reply, not knowing what else to say. It probably wasn't a good idea. And yet, it felt necessary.

Sascha and Jasper were standing right at the edge of the treaty line. The sun was slowly but surely dipping into dusk, blue hour would be starting soon. Sascha wasn't sure whether to just try and step on the pack's land and have them come or wait there instead. She didn't want to break the treaty on some weird technicality. That's really nothing she needed on her toll to fill her last days.

„Knock, knock?", she called out awkwardly, her voice echoing off the trees.

Jasper almost gasped out a laugh. „You cannot be serious."

„Shut up!"

Luckily, the distant sound of heavy paws running along the forest ground hit their ears not a moment later, rapidly closing in and saving Sascha from her embarrassment. Rather replaced it with tensed anticipation. She took a step back, closer to Jasper.

The footsteps got closer, their smell reaching them seconds after. They were running with the wind, not concealing there position.

Sascha could feel Jasper's more than extreme discomfort rising, it was emanating off of him in almost tangible waves. The air around them was bristling, as though it could cause blisters. She took one more step back, standing next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

„Try to relax."

Before he could reply, both gazes snapped ahead of them as three big wolves appeared. One of them was Sam, Sascha assumed. She had recognised him before as the one with the darkest fur. The others she wasn't sure.

They came to a stop several metres away from her and Jasper, ears snapped back and shoulders taut. Sam gave an annoyed huff, baring his teeth ever so slightly. Sascha found at least a little comfort in the fact that she actually knew how to read and understand a dog's body language. And though it deviated from wolves body language, there was enough crossover in that Venn diagram for her to still see that Sam, flanked by his two other members, was putting up a front for the most part. He wasn't actively threatening her or Jasper.

However, that had really been the only thing making her comfortable enough to state her case.

***

To say that Sascha felt out of place… must have been the understatement of the century, as cliche as that might sound. At least not as out of place as she had felt the first months with the newborn army (that would also be just plain rude to her current company). However, running along side the wolves, on their territory, did feel surreal on another level.

She was still dwelling in her own surprise that Sam had even allowed her to step foot on their land, not to mention the fact that they were leading her back to their reservation. When she had thought about trying to talk to the pack, she had been more than convinced the wolves would barely even share a word with her, were they even to appear.

They hadn't changed to their human forms, after a good minute of silent, obviously quite agitated telepathic discussing, they had motioned for her to follow them. Though, they had grown rather aggressive in demeanour when Jasper had tried to follow as well. It had needed a good amount of convincing on Sascha's part to make him stay behind - promising profoundly that she'd return as soon as possible. He had listened to her eventually.

And that's how she found herself actually running along with those three wolves, for the first time seeing the reservation in daylight. She found it incredibly peaceful looking. Serene.

Sascha almost felt her skin prickling when they were 'welcomed', or rather expected really, by the rest of the pack. All in wolf form, standing in a protective formation in front of the houses. Billy and Jacob stood behind the line of wolves. The latter wearing a shirt for a change.

Sascha slowed down immediately, her hands raising to her mid, fidgeting, unsure how to proceed from now on.

„Uhm… hi?" She received several annoyed ear flicks only. „Yeah, I know."

Billy cleared his throat, clearly aiming to catch everybody's attention. Successfully so. „I understand you have a request to us?"

Sascha straightened her back ever so slightly. She tried to keep her eyes fixed on Billy, but she couldn't blind out all the others from her periphery.

„I'll be leaving Forks soon. I just want to talk about how we should deal with me coming back? For visits?", she saw some of the wolves let a hint of confusion slip past their facade, ears twitching forward in a telling way, „I know you wouldn't allow a stranger back on your lands. Since I'm not a stranger anymore, I think we should at least have talked about it. I'd really rather my head remain on my shoulders next time I set foot here."

While the others kept quiet and unmoving, Sam growled lowly, but not in a threatening way. It seemed like he was contemplating. He had his dark eyes fixed on hers. Sascha was sure he was sizing her up. At the same time, Jacob nodded.

„Why didn't you bring the mind reader when you came to our border?" His voice was gruff, but Sascha felt like there was some hesitance pulling at his words, even if just the tiniest bit. He was stalling.

„It's none of his business. I can talk to you myself."

Billy squinted his eyes at her. „You don't trust him?"

„Not when it comes to making civilised decisions, I don't." Sascha couldn't fight off the eye role as she spoke.

„I see", he hummed, „However, you seem to have much to learn about our kind and yours. And our ways"

Feeling uncomfortable, Sascha hugged herself around her mid. „Can't we just talk as people? I think it's rather insulting to us all to reduce us to our… species, no?"

Jacob scoffed. „If we aren't around to keep you blood suckers in check, we'd-"

Billy quickly raised his hand. „-Jacob", his voice was calm, but firm, „Sascha, wasn't it? I have not forgotten the service you did to us. I think it is fair to pay it back to you. What do you propose, should you come back here? How would you let us know?"

Sascha tilted her head, arms dropping to her side again. „Uhm, I don't know. I guess I'd just call? Or send you an e-mail?", Jacob scoffing once more had her eyes snapping to him, „What? You prefer I send a messenger pigeon?"

One wolf let out a short, but excited yip. Sascha recognised him to be Seth. His and some of the other wolves' posture quite visibly relaxed. Checking back on Jacob's expression and Sam's laid flat ears told her everything. To their great misery, the others had found her jab funny.

What next? Hell will freeze over?

„A phone call would suffice, I believe", Billy replied quickly, a smile twinkling in his eyes.

***

Chapter Text

19. Return

„You sure you don't want all of us to come with you, Sher?"

Sascha almost cooed, surprised how really rather tiny Emmett could also be. „As much fun as that'd be, I don't think my father's poor heart would handle that."

Emmett clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes. „Humans and their weak constitutions."

They had all gathered in the living room. Two large bags sat on the ground next to the front door. Sascha's father had been informed two days prior. A rather short, yet one of the most intense phone calls she had ever had in her life.

„You are right there", Sascha agreed with a soft chuckle.

„Well, don't miss me too much then", Emmett spread his arms expectantly, engulfing Sascha in a tight hug when she stepped toward him, „Can't have you mope around all day."

She laughed then. „I'll do my very best." After a few beats, she parted from their hug again, turning to Rosalie beside him. Sascha found herself unsure how to really exchange good byes with her. They had enjoyed their occasional calm afternoon together, but, with a start, she realised they had never had the opportunity to really talk a lot.

However, her racing thoughts were cut short after a second, when Rosalie carefully offered her a hug of her own, catching her by the slightest of surprises. Sascha, grateful for having the decision made by someone else, happily reciprocated the gesture and pulled the blonde into her arms. Almost giggling when Rosalie's hair tickled her chin.

„It was a pleasure to have met you, Sascha." Rosalie leaned back again.

„And you, too", she smiled softly.

„Don't make it sound like this is a goodbye for ever", Esme tutted playfully and Sascha stepped over to her with a grin. Esme put her hands on Sascha's shoulders. „Our home is always open for you. You're always welcome here."

Sascha melted into Esme's hug like butter, trying to reign in her emotions. „Thank you", her voice didn't reach higher than a whisper.

Next was Bella, who actually managed to return Sascha's hug without a single ounce of awkwardness.

„I feel like a thank you is not enough to-"

„-It's not needed", Sascha interrupted her quickly, leaning back a little to hold Bella at arms length. She then smirked a little, giving Edward a quick side eye glance. „Just invite me to the wedding, and we'll call it even."

„Of course!"

„We wouldn't dare", Edward said quietly and put a hand on Sascha's shoulder. She spotted a twinkle in his eye. If she didn't know any better, she would almost call it mischievous. „We'll make sure to make you a guest of honour."

She snorted out a laugh at that. Maybe Sascha didn't know better.

Now you're overdoing it.

Edward shook his head with the smallest of smiles and gave her shoulder a pat before putting his hand back into his pocket. „Take care of yourself."

„You too", she inclined her head to him, then focused back on Bella, „Both of you. And put him in his place when he's spiralling again."

Bella shook her head with a breathy laugh, then nodded with her lips pressed together in a smile. Sascha stopped herself from commenting on the awkwardness Bella had slipped right back to.

„Alright then", Alice spoke and Sascha turned to look her way, „ready?" She stood with Jasper and Carlisle by Sascha's luggage at the door.

Sascha heaved a big sigh and let go of Bella. „No?", she locked eyes with Jasper for a brief moment, then back to Alice, „But I guess there's no use in waiting till I am."

„Try as you did before", Esme said, „One day after the other."

„And get through enough days, you'll be with us very quickly!"

Sascha shook her head with a chuckle at Emmet's attempt to remain quirky as she moved to the door. „Seems like a good idea." She looked at the group in front of her with uncertainty and already yearning sadness. „Luckily, in German, we don't really say goodbye. Rather, see you again. So, I'll keep it at that."

And then, as the others replied to her in a choir of their own farewells and well wishes, Sascha let herself be pulled through the front door by Alice and followed her to the car. Jasper and Carlisle with her belongings right behind them. Sascha slipped into one of the back seats, behind Carlisle, who would be driving. And when Jasper, as he got into the passenger's seat, caught her eye - he understood immediately. A soft breeze of calm made room for her anxiety to ease a little. Not too much to turn into repression, enough to let Sascha sink into her seat a little as Carlisle started the engine.

***

„Do you think these are a good idea?" Sascha let her head be tilted backwards by Alice, looking up at the ceiling and refrained from blinking when Alice raised one of her fingers to her eye. Aiming to put in some coloured contact lenses. Sascha grip on the little stool she was sitting on tightened as Alice's fingers brushed her eye lashes.

„It's the easiest way to conceal your eyes for now", Alice voice was low with concentration as the lens slipped into Sascha's eye, „Blink one time please."

Sascha did as asked, blinking more than once when her eye felt irritated immediately by the foreign object. She tilted her head a little for Alice to put in the other lens as well. „But… I won't keep wearing contacts for ever. At some point I have to explain it anyway, no?"

„True," Alice sighed a little as she moved behind Sascha in the hotel bathroom, putting her hands on her shoulders and looking at their mirror reflection together, „But maybe it's better to not have all of the questions be thrown at you now."

Sascha inclined her head. „True."

„Did I get the colour right?"

Blinking a couple times to get used to the blurriness, Sascha leaned forward a little to inspect her face - and eyes. Dark blue. She hummed.

„Feels weird, doesn't it?"

Sascha nodded, appreciating Alice rubbing her upper arms slowly. „Absolutely. Ever since I turned, it's always been weird to… see myself. But like this…"

It was difficult to put in words really. The seldom times Sascha did find herself confronted with her reflection, it had been easier to reconcile the unfamiliar and eerie perfection of her face with the more than alien eye colour she was sporting as well. Looking at herself and seeing her former human eyes look back - it felt even more like looking at a stranger. A different version of herself.

Alice pursed her lips in understanding, even though Sascha hadn't quite finished her sentence.

A knock on their hotel room door announced Carlisle's and Jasper's return. After arranging the hotel rooms for the four of them, they had left to the local police station to gather final information about Sascha's personal case and the overall investigation in and around Seattle. They had wanted to make completely sure it was safe for Sascha to reveal her presence without causing the wrong kind of suspicion.

Alice quickly flitted to the door, letting them in, as Sascha also followed out the bathroom - at a much slower pace. She had been trying to get used to moving at a more human speed again. The Cullen Trio was already standing in the room when she got there.

Sascha heaved a sigh, flexing her hands. „Being slow has always been a nuisance. But this - no thank you."

Jasper smiled compassionately. „You're stalling."

„I know", with another sigh, she hung her head a little, before looking up again, „So, how is it looking? Is it safe?"

Carlisle nodded, hands clasped together in front of him. „It is. Whenever you're ready, we can go to meet your father."

***

Sascha clutched the edge of the leather seat beneath her, staring out the backseat window in complete stillness. If the previous car ride had felt unnerving, it was nothing compared to the drive from the hotel to her father's house. The hotel they had stayed at was in an area of Seattle that Sascha hadn't really been before, there were no particular buildings or markers that Sascha could recognise. However, the closer they were getting, the more it felt like the streets of Seattle were preparing Sascha's return. Slowly, but surely, getting more familiar to her until they finally reached the neighbourhood that Sascha had called home for the past two years. When the first houses came into view where she knew the residents personally, it felt like someone was shooting electricity into her limbs.

„Sascha." At the same time as Alice's hand softly touching down on her arm, the car suddenly jolted as a wheel seemingly hit a small bump in the road, which caught everyone by a bit of surprise.

Though, Sascha was distracted quickly when she noticed the holes she had pressed into the pricelessly expensive leather seats. „Oh shit, I'm sorry."

„It's okay, there's no need to worry about it", Alice tried to reassure her.

Sascha opened her mouth to fuss more about her slip up, but when the car slowed to a stop, she shut herself up immediately. They had arrived in front of her father's house. Home.

„Oh Gott."

„Take your time, Sascha", Carlisle turned the engine off, „You don't have to go in immediately."

Jasper caught her eye in the rearview mirror. „He's somewhere in the back of house, he can't have heard the car."

Sascha nodded back to him.

For the first time since having been turned, she felt like her heart was pounding in her chest. It was probably more the spasming of her lungs as she tried to regain her composure. But it did make her feel oddly human for a moment.

She fixed her eyes on the milk glass front door, hands balled to fists on her knees, invisible to the others as her hands had almost vanished into the big sleeves of her hoodie. „I want to go… alone at first. I- I don't want to overwhelm him." That was a lie. And Sascha could tell the others knew that too.

Sascha saw Alice nod in the corner of her eye. „Of course."

A thousand thoughts were rushing, crashing around in her head. Each more chaotic than the next. Too scrambled to catch a single one and make sense of it. Like her head was drowning in it and the only thing Sascha really knew for sure was how to sit still. Or was it that she had forgotten how to make her body move?

Just as her first finger nail was about to crack into her palm, a by then familiar blanket of serenity washed over her. Like a breeze returning air back to her lungs. Sascha knew, she had to get out the car immediately, or she would never find the courage to go.

„Thank you", her voice barely louder than a whisper, and a second later she had ducked out of the car, eyes never leaving the front door.

Sascha felt like the small path leading to the house was at least a thousand metres long. And frightfully not long enough as she found herself standing only an arms length in front of the door. As though it might shoot her, she looked at the button for the door bell. A small green square they had installed together after he father had grown sick of never being able to hear when someone knocked on the door.

Not giving herself any moment longer to hesitate, Sascha finally pressed the button. And waited. She could hear someone moving closer to where she was, a door on the inside sliding open and then shut again. Steps approaching the front door. Heavy and powerless. Like there wasn't enough will to even lift the feet between steps. And then-

Sounds drowned out. Everything vanished the moment the door started to open. It felt like everything was happening in slow motion. Her father's face coming into view. His expression changing from blank to heartbroken relief, tears filling his eyes immediately. Sascha mirroring his expression, wishing and yearning so much to cry as well. Him reaching a hand to her shoulder to pull her into his arms without a second to lose.

The moment Sascha found herself engulfed in her father's embrace, head on his shoulder, his chin tucked on the crown of her head, time went back to normal. Sounds returned, her senses were including her surroundings again. Her father was trembling as his arms tightened impossibly so around her, a hand cradling the back of her head. She clenched her eyes shut when a wave of pain and relief crashed over her, like a clock hitting midnight and its bell shaking her entire being. Through it, she had to fight the urge to hug him back with the same kind of fierceness her muscles would allow her - she was probably hugging him a bit too tight for comfort already. Not that Lars seemed to care really.

His breathing was laboured, while she had stopped breathing all together. She could hear his tears dropping onto her hair and shoulder.

„Meine Kleine."

Sascha felt like she shrunk into the hug even more. Surely, without Lars holding her, she would be doubling over, clutching at herself with pain in that moment. Pain akin to a knife being pulled out of your chest. So, so everlastingly painful, yet freeing at the same time. She balled her hands into fists at his back, afraid to accidentally tear into his jacket.

„Papa."

More words were unneeded as they merely stood, holding each other. Lars was gently rocking them from side to side. And finally, in months, in almost a year, Sascha felt like there was actual oxygen filling her lungs again. Finally, a weight she hadn't even been aware of carrying anymore, lifted itself from her entire being as she relaxed more into her dad's hug.

Finally.

And at the same time… Sascha felt the past months becoming tangible within herself. As though the mere presence of her father allowed, or forced her, to finally open up to what had actually happened. Not on an intellectual level. Oh how she wished to cry. Her throat was constricting instead, a huge lump formed as she buried her face even further into her father's shoulder. As Lars seemingly noticed her shift of demeanour, his quiet sniffles mixed with soft words of comfort. She couldn't really pick out any of them, but the hum of his voice was enough to lull her further into his embrace.

Here was the moment she had always told the others would come sooner or later.

It's not really healthy, is it? Alice's voice was whispering in the back of her mind at the memory. Probably not.

Do you want to talk about what happened? — No, not at the moment.

Yeah… jokes, sarcasm and logic had gotten her this far. But it seemed Sascha had, at last, run out of moments to push her pain away.

„Mensch, Sascha-", Lars leaned back a little and moved to hold Sascha at her shoulders, „I can't believe y- what happened t- How are you?!"

Sascha shook her head helplessly. There were really no words that could possibly be enough to describe her feelings. And there was so impossibly much she wanted to tell him. Her eyes burned more intensely with venom as she looked her dad's tear stained face. She finally mustered the will to speak and settled on something basic, but very true.

„I'm just relieved I'm finally back."

Sascha tried to ignore the minute sign of confusion flashing across Lars' face when she spoke and how his eyes where scanning her entire appearance for a second to long. He reached a hand up to cup her cheek in a caring manner, but almost flinched at the stark contrast of temperature.

„Oh god, Sascha, you're so cold", his thumb stroked her cheek as he searched for any obvious signs of illness, but obviously getting more confused at how her skin was most certainly feeling for him, „Have they done something with you? Are- are you sick? What-"

„No, Papa, please", Sascha quickly reached up to take his hand, careful to keep her own mostly covered by her sleeve in order to not freak him out more. The hoodie, obviously ill timed for the season of year, had been her attempt at hiding her abnormal physicalities - coldness, skin of stone. A weak attempt, at best. „Please, calm down. I'm not sick. Truly. I'm… okay. Now."

Lars looked deep into her eyes. Sascha felt like he was searching for something. A sign maybe. And she looked back, trying to calm him. Wishing to have a different talent than her own for this moment. But her words, or her presence alone, seemed to do the trick, even if a little slower, as Lars finally dared to relax his face a little. Some worry leaving him as his eyes softened.

It's when Sascha noticed how weathered he was looking. Of course slightly older than when she had last seen him, but also weary with all the anguish from the past months weighing down on him. Some dark pain carefully tucked away, but visible to her. Adding to her own building realisation of what… had actually happened to her. And how it had been, and still was, bad enough to even severely affect those close to her.

Sascha didn't even attempt to keep her face void of that pain. She let her father see it. Finally able to allow herself to not be strong and in check.

„Oh meine Kleine", Lars whispered, and pulled her back into his arms. Much more secure this time, more composed. „I can't even begin to imagine what you went through. But you're not alone anymore. I got you."

Sascha nodded rapidly, craving exactly that so much. And after a moment she was finally able to relax her hands at Lars' back, letting her shoulders slack down, and released a heavy sigh.

Finally.

„Papa, to be honest, I wasn't alone." Sascha refused to unwind herself from her father's embrace.

„Is that them in the car? The people who took you in?"

Sascha nodded softly. „Some of them. Would you like to meet them?"

„Meet the people who took in my daughter when she needed most?", Lars leaned back the tiniest bit to look Sascha in the eyes, a grateful shine in his expression, „Absolutely."

***

Chapter Text

Authors note

Hello~ 

Upfront, sorry that this update notification is only an author‘s note [hides under a stone]

But I recently received such a sweet comment, asking how I’ve been, and I thought, rather than keeping silent until the next update, I’d just give you a small sign from the writers room. 

A lot has been going on right now, which kept me from actually updating the following chapters BUT I have been busy noting down any and all ideas I have for future plot strands and scenes, so it’s not like we’re on a hiatus right now. 

I am updating (HOPEFULLY lol I’m writing this in my notes app right now) this between flights. I just landed my first one and am waiting for my long flight and I’m hoping that I can stay awake for some time to use the time and be creative. What else are you supposed to do for 11 hours, right? (…. Please pray for me that I don’t simply pass out into sleep right away hahah I have a terrible track record for that. I don’t know about you, but any and all transportation types have the ability to put me to sleep immediately) 

Okay that’s it for now~ 

I hope you’re all doing fine. Enjoy the spoopy season which we’re finally entering again now - I definitely am heheh 

And I hope to properly update again very soon. 

Take care~ 

Chapter Text

A Faded Memory

The screaming had long since ceased. How could they not? Humans were dreadfully breakable. He had to admit though, it was the first time in a long time - maybe in a good four centuries - that he was glad for the quiet. Usually enjoying the feast, today he needed to think. Ever since his prodigy had returned with a job well done, he couldn't rid himself of the itch furthest back in his head. It almost felt something had slipped his mind. Granted, that was not possible. And yet, there he found himself, standing behind his throne. Thinking. For such a long time, the bodies decorating the floor would start to show first signs of rot soon.

Aro finally broke his request to be left to his own devices by addressing the sole guard that was allowed to remain in the chamber. „Renata, be a dear and send for Jane", he turned back around to his throne, catching a glimpse of Renata's bow in recognition before she slipped through the door, „And for someone to clean up the mess."

Of course his demands were fulfilled momentarily. After two of his loyal servants made away with the remains of his last lunch, Caius and Markus joined him back in their throne hall. Followed by Jane. It seems his two fellow leaders deemed him bearable company again. Though equal, they also knew when best not to be around.

„You summoned for me." Jane kept respectful distance, dipping her head in a bow.

Aro gave a ghost of a smile, waving a graceful hand to her. „Yes. I wish for you to reiterate your observation with the Cullen Clan."

„They were too prepared. We saw the amount of newborns who had attacked. It is obvious they had help. And their future seer is very powerful."

Aro hummed. „I agree, from having seen your observations. But-", Jane blinked in surprise when he whipped his pointer finger up, „There seemed to be another layer to the matter, which appeared rather… odd."

„Odd?"

„How about the one they were protecting?"

„She was not worthy to be one of us. A mere shell of fear and-"

„-Not the girl. The other one."

„Master?"

Bordering on impatience, strongly trying to keep his frustrations at bay, he reached his hand open palmed to Jane. She complied immediately. Once in reach, he quickly moved to clasp her hand in both of his, eager to filter through her memories once more.

There they stood. It was easy to focus on Carlisle - his former member - and his mate. Edward, of course, was prominent in the encounter as well. However, usually easy as breathing, he couldn't filter through the entire scene. It appeared as though there were invisible barriers restricting him from exploring each detail. He could tell there were more people in their group - one of which must be Alice and her shadow, of course. They wouldn't stray from their coven in such times. But he couldn't see their faces, or anything of them really.

It was trying to recollect a dream which slipped away further the more one strained to grab hold of it.

„Why did you never focus on all of them, Jane?"

She was lost for words for a moment, obviously confused by such a question. The instant memories of their current exchange showed him she thought she had focused on every last detail.

„Forgive me for disappointing you." She attempted to bow once more, but couldn't when Aro pulled her hand even closer in concentration.

„I believe someone had their fingers in play", he mused. More to himself than anything else.

„What is your trouble, brother?", Markus' sighed from across the hall, clearly tired with the situation.

Aro didn't give him an answer.

Instead, he kept pushing against the edges of Jane's past sense. Pushed to make her focus on her own memories too, hoping to piece together whatever had been hidden from them.

Slowly, he was able to make out three people. This was the work of their empath, he realised. It was like a cloud of nothing, shielding… someone away into irrelevance. He could tell though - this perceived irrelevance was fabricated.

„It's true."

And then, it was gone. There stood a tall, young looking, golden eyed vampire. He had never seen her with the Cullens before. And just as quickly as she had appeared, she faded away into the scene again a moment later.

„There! Her! Who is she?"

„There was nothing-"

„I know, I know", he interrupted immediately, trying to focus on staying within this split second of Jane's memory.

Not quite golden eyed yet, he noticed upon further inspection. So she had been feeding on a proper diet not too long ago. Another one pulled to Carlisles' cause.

Where had this one come from so suddenly? And what was she doing with the Cullens? He almost wished he had been more involved with the ongoings of the newborn ‚army'. He still stood by his choice, needing to be out of Alice's reach. However, he deemed this turn of events intriguing enough to the point where he felt a modicum of regret for his decision.

The biggest reason being… Aro, in his confusion, saw himself confronted with the realisation that this new face seemed familiar. And at the same time it didn't. He had often heard the belief of humans, that every person had 7 mirrors of themselves roaming this planet. Although, in all his years, he had never found himself able to confirm such a notion. He had even gone as far to say that it was a mere result of the small mindedness that every human was ailed with. He still would. But might this be the first case in which he was confusing a face he had seen in ancient times with this new one?

No. That couldn't be. Aro made no errors.

He let go of Jane's hand. „Thank you, dear. You may go."

„Thank you, Master." And so she left.

Seldom had he found himself stuck in such a conundrum. And he would never admit to it out loud either. His sole focus was once more attempting to find where the scratching notion was coming from, tormenting him with the knowledge that there actually was more to it than mere chance, but not giving him anything more than that. The more he tried to remember, the more it was slipping away.

Which heightened his frustrations even more. His kind were gifted to the point of impeccable recollection. Memories simply didn't fade anymore.

And then, it finally came to him.

He had seen that face before. Just not by is own eyes. It had been in someone else's memory entirely.

„Send for Demetri. He needs to find someone for me."

***

Chapter Text

OPTION ONE

Keep in mind, that you have to scroll WITHIN the chat box here

OPTION TWO

EDIT: OPTION THREE
I could leave both styles and people can choose whichever they prefer - chat box could go on top, so those who prefer chat bubbles only could just skip it quickly, and those who prefer the chat box could stay and scroll within the chat box

The chats would mostly be standing alone and not be integrated in any flowing text. The only thing I could see myself doing is set the context first in a normal flow text/setting, and then the chat would follow.

Chapter Text

21. Sharing

„You will use the phone we gave you right?“

Sascha laughed as Alice squeezed her into a hug even more. „The phone is not the issue - this sim card plan you whipped up for me is… wild.“

„But“, Alice leaned back, brows in a deep frown as she glared up at her, „you will use it?“

„I know better than to refuse your endeavours.“

The smile that erupted on Alice’s face put the sun to shame. „Then I don’t feel so sad about saying goodbye.“

„Only goodbye for now“, Sascha repeated, and quickly pulled Alice into a hug again. These very same words had been echoing in her head all day. For now.

„Of course.“ And eventually they pulled apart.

Sascha looked toward the entrance door. Carlisle, who she had already had her parting words with, was talking to her father about how best to handle the police in the following days. Of course they had talked about everything in great detail already - but some points couldn’t be highlighted enough. And of course Lars was still more than overwhelmed by everything that was going on. Though he and Carlisle, Sascha found herself noticing again, got along splendidly.

Alice’s quick peck to her cheek pulled Sascha back to the moment. She managed a warm smile, before Alice skipped over to Carlisle and Lars, immediately charming the latter with her cheerfulness. A gift in and of itself.

So, finally, Sascha turned to Jasper who had busied himself observing the few pictures that Lars had put up around the living room.

„My friend“, Sascha spoke, to which he turned expectantly, and spread her arms widely, „Come on, it’s your turn.“

He readily accepted her offer in his ever so quiet manner, embracing Sascha in a way that made her feel warm. They had gotten so close, in such a short time. Trauma dumping all over the place. She smiled to herself at the thought. It really felt wrong to leave.

„I’ll let it slide“, his murmur got her out of her head yet again.

„Hm?“

„You’re masking. But I’m not going to comment on it“, he leaned back to look at her, a smirk, small, yet so teasing, it made the air shift, „for your sake.“

„For my sake?“, Sascha scoffed, not being able to hide the laugh, „Well what a good job you did.“

„I aim to please.“

„Now look who is masking.“

He gently stroked her cheekbone with his knuckle. „That’s for my sake.“

„Aren’t we a pair.“

They shared a laugh and leaned in to give each other a tight hug again. Sascha rocked them both from side to side a little, making Jasper shake his head ever so slightly. She giggled, feeling comforted in a way. Content. She would have to remember this moment. To remind her that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t naive to believe that it would be okay. No matter how dark things could get - those, too, would pass.

„I wish for your pain to cease soon.“

Sascha hummed, still swaying the both of them. It was a gentle comfort. Realistic enough to not disregard the struggle, hopeful enough to ensure her it wasn’t impossible to overcome.

„Thank you.“

„And if you need anything, we- I am only a phone call away.“

Sascha tightened her embrace around Jasper, which he reciprocated, and nodded quickly. Eyes burning. She didn’t want this moment to end.

Alas… Reluctantly, she willed her arms to unwind themselves from him. It wasn’t going to get her anywhere to prolong the farewells. It would be unpleasant just the same. Jasper moved his hands to hold her around her upper arms gently.

„I’m going to shoo you away now. Otherwise I’m not going to let you go.“

Jasper chuckled, grin as lopsided as ever, and squeezed her arms affectionately. „You say that like it’s a bad thing.“

„It’s not“, a simple statement that came to her as naturally as taking a breath. She saw her smile mirrored on his own face, a twinkle in his eyes. She reached her left hand up to touch his on her arm. „Take care of yourself, Jazz.“

His smile softened at the mention of his nickname. „You too, darling.“

Sascha gave his hand a squeeze, before leading him to the group by the door. Alice clicked into action immediately, taking it into her own hands to initiate a tactful goodbye. Sascha let it happen, smiled only, nodding appreciatively at the pleasantries exchanged between them and her father. She examined her three companions one more time in as much detail as she could - darn the contacts burning in her irises.

Alice’s laugh, Carlisle’s calming voice, Jasper’s aura altogether. The others had told her her memory would near perfection from now on. She was curious to put it to the test. And it would never be enough. She would miss them dearly. In fact, she was already missing them. She would really have to learn to appreciate a moment as it was happening.

Well - she would have enough time. She shook her head slightly, drawing her focus back to the scene in front of her.

Sascha made herself start moving slowly when Lars shook Carlisle’s hands one last time, thanking him again for everything they had done. She put her hand on Lars’ shoulder, shifting the attention to herself briefly.

„I’ll bring you guys to the car.“

„Alright“, Alice quickly moved to link her arm with Sascha’s, a skip in her step, and with a chorus of goodbyes and well wishes they left Lars waiting at the door. Sascha didn’t fault him for not letting her out of his sight. She would do the same.

„Do you think it will be fine?“, Alice whispered so Lars wouldn’t hear, „With more humans and new smells around?“

Sascha nodded. It hadn’t been a struggle to her at all, she realised with a start. She had almost forgotten about it altogether. „I reckon Bella’s constant presence was more helpful than expected.“

„If it should get too much, there’s no shame in calling us to help, or to arrange a situation for you to get some distance from humans for a while“, Carlisle added, and Sascha turned her head to look at him and Jasper walking behind them. Carlisle smiled warmly. They came to a step at the boot of the car.

„I promise.“

Carlisle squeezed her shoulder in the affectionate way he always did to those close to him, gave her another nod, and finally slipped into the passenger seat of the car, busying himself with seemingly setting up the navigation system.

Alice untwisted her arm from Sascha’s and instead wrapped it around her waist to pull Sascha close to her. „I will start texting you from the road to make sure you’re actually going to use your phone.“

Sascha hugged her back with a laugh. „Please do - I will need distraction.“

„We will see each other again soon, anyway“, Alice then cocked her head to the side a little, „I think.“

„You think?“

„Decisions are fickle, it’s not so clear to me, but it shouldn’t be too long.“

Sascha hummed with a smile, sharing a look with Jasper too. „That’s a relief.“

Alice leaned back then, a hint of sadness in her eyes despite her happy tone, and nodded once with a deep breath. „Give us so many updates that we won’t even notice you’re not there.“

„I will do my best.“

„That’s enough.“ Alice smiled again, and took a dance-ish step back, keeping one of Sascha’s hands in hers in a dramatic way until she was too far away and had to let go to skip to the side of the car to enter, making Sascha giggle softly. It was for a show, but also not so much. Alice loved movement.

„I sure hope your number has been put into my phone as well“, Sascha said as she looked to her right where Jasper was standing, „Well, all of yours, really.“

„I think I saw Alice even set up a group chat.“ As if on command, they heard the vibration of his phone, which Jasper fished out of his pocket. He rolled his eyes in amusement and showed the screen to Sascha. „See?“

Alice giggled happily in the car, eyes fixed on her phone. It was a strange sight, Sascha suddenly realised. They had never been on phones really. It hadn’t been necessary. Sascha almost felt out of touch with technology in that moment. Well, it would be the easiest thing to get accustomed to again. Without a doubt.

„Good“, Sascha nodded approvingly as Jasper pocketed his phone again. She felt her head meet a blockage in the same moment. There was nothing left to do or say or stall really, and she didn’t know what to do with herself next. She didn’t want them to go, but it was necessary. For now, she repeated to herself. Her mind was going in circles. She shifted her weight on her feet and sighed heavily. „I’m horrid at saying goodbyes.“

„Then don’t“, Jasper simply replied and gently pulled her into another hug. He leaned his head down slightly, so his mouth was right next to her ear, „We’ll see each other soon, remember?“

His murmur was so low and soft, only she could’ve heard it. And with these words, Sascha could also feel a blanket of calm - it wasn’t artificial though. It didn’t come from his gift, it came from him. She nodded her head into his shoulder.

„Good“, he mirrored her words softly, and then, as he pulled away, pressed his lips to her temple in a short, gentle peck. It moved something insight of her, something hidden, something living and warm.

It felt… like an echo of a memory. Even if that didn’t make any sense. She wanted to feel it again.

Jasper leaned back fully and let one of his hands brush down her arm to grasp her hand reassuringly.

Sascha nodded again. „See you soon then.“

„See you soon, darling.“

Reluctantly, she relaxed her hand to let his go and took a step back as Jasper slipped into the passenger seat. While Carlisle pulled the car onto the street, Sascha walked backwards to the front door of her father’s house, stopping when she felt his warmth behind her. He put a hand on her shoulder.

Sascha waved after them, they had already turned their heads toward her, Alice rolled down the window too to lean outside, all of them waving back at her. Sascha pressed her lips together, her smile quickly being pulled down as she tried to compose herself. Something was tugging inside of her, in her stomach, at the back of her head, everywhere really.

She had experience with a similar feeling, from when she was a few years younger and had realised that her future would not play out in the city she was born in. This yearning for somewhere else. Fernweh. As the Cullen’s car pulled around the first corner, and her arm dropped to her side again, it felt similar, but still distinctively different. Yearning for something.

„They seem like great people.“

Sascha hummed in reply. „They really are.“

„Let’s get back inside.“ Lars moved to let her go in first.

As Sascha walked back through the door, she felt incredibly on the spot. Both small and too big in this familiar and somehow new environment. She stood in the small entry area, yet again not knowing what to do with herself. Luckily, the sound of the front door shutting reminded her that her mind racing for what had felt like minutes had passed was only true to her own perception of time. She let her shoulders drop in relief when Lars walked past her into the living room and followed after him after she quickly kicked off her shoes by the shoe cabinet.

The living room didn’t look much different than it had before. An open, L shaped room with the kitchen around the right corner, warm brown laminate floor, a nice dark brown dinner table for four people to the right, a dark green, L shaped sofa to the left with a small coffee table of the same wood as the dinner table, opposite a sideboard to complete the wood look and a TV mounted to the wall. Sascha smiled. The dinner table and side board had been her father’s work, the coffee table was hers. Her fingers almost tingled at the memory of it.

What saddened her… the flowers she had frequently left at his place, adding to the few he had gotten on his own, were all… dead. Dried up leaves in the bigger pots on the floor were the only proof of plant life having ever occupied the space. Dust collected on the surfaces, the carpet in front of the sofa had one edge folded up. He had never found the need to straighten it. The dinner table was covered with plates, cups, mostly though with stray papers, folders, notes. The more she looked around, the more she noticed the less than small signs of hopelessness that had clung to these walls.

Lars noticed her looking around then. „I’m sorry for the mess, I didn’t have the t-“

Sascha interrupted him by pulling him into another hug. „Papa please“, she felt horrible to see his shame for the state of things.

„I guess it’s not so important anyway, right?“ His voice cracked slightly at the end. He sniffed as he tightened his hold around Sascha.

„It’s really not“, She stroked his back softly, „It’s not like either of us were ever really tidy in the first place.“

Lars breathed out a watery laugh. „You’re not wrong.“

„We can clean up later together.“

„You should not!“, Lars leaned back quickly, eyebrows raised in alarm, „You should rest, no? You- you- I don’t think-“

Sascha smiled a little while her father was stammering and almost fussing all over her. It was a rare sight. She chose to just wait and let him get the words out. There was probably a lot stuck in his system, too.

After a few seconds, he finally released a heavy sigh, and pinched the bridge of his nose with closed eyes. He was getting there. „How are you, Sascha? What do you need? Do you need some water? Tea? I can check if-“

„How about we go to the kitchen, and have a tea together? Even just hot water is okay.“

„I think I have some tea… somewhere.“

Sascha giggled at his own uncertainty, feeling oddly like - if this were a normal situation - she had just gotten a glimpse into her father’s youth. How he might have been just after graduating school. She leaned against the counter separating the kitchen and dining area, looking curiously as Lars searched through the cupboards, muttering to himself. And soon enough, the kettle clicked to announce the water was ready, and Sascha cupped her mug of camomile tea. She pondered for a moment if she should dare to drink it. It would have to come out later… She shrugged to herself. She would just time it with a pretend break to the restroom.

Lars stirred his teabag for a short moment. Sascha pursed her lips at his tired movements, worry pulling at her brows. She had a mind to try and get Victoria back to life to kill her a second time herself. And Riley.

„Do you want to sit back down?“

„No, it’s fine. The car ride was enough sitting for a while.“

Lars nodded, pushing his mug to the side a little to lean his forearms on the counter. He inhaled, ready to say something, but then stopped himself. His mouth was twitching ever so slightly, probably trying to find the words, with none of them being good enough to come out.

„What is it?“

„I just… can’t believe you’re here. And I am so happy that you are. And I just want to know what happened to you, but at the same time I don’t… To be honest, Sascha, I don’t know how to handle this right now.“

„Me neither“, Sascha’s voice was low. It felt weird, awkward almost in the most unnecessary way. The reunion itself had been easy. It seemed like the hard part was after. „I don’t mind… talking about it, if you’re worried about that.“

Lars looked at her with pained eyes. „Are you sure?“

„Well“, Sascha shrugged, possibly a little too casually, „I’ve had to talk about it to the others and the police before - multiple times. It’s not so fresh anymore that it rips everything open really, you know?“

„That makes sense“, he trailed off, looking at his hands.

„And also“, Sascha waited until Lars looked at her again, „I reckon you’re stuck in one horror scenario after the other. What happened isn’t easy to digest at all, but I want to get it out of the way so we can both move on.“

Lars was nodding along to what she was saying, and with each sentence, his brows pulled together a little more, his eyes turning glassy.

And so Sascha started telling him what happened. The version that he was allowed to hear at least. The kidnapping part itself remained, any and all aspects of vampires was removed, naturally. Sascha and the others having been forced to fight to train was instead reframed to them having had to fight for the captors’ entertainment and to receive food and water. By this point Lars had abandoned his tea, and had taken to pacing around the kitchen slowly, wringing his hands in an attempt to compose himself.

Instead of escaping over night, in this version, Sascha had escaped during the night, had followed along water where she had reached a bridge to the other side. She had just kept walking, with breaks and slow, not stopping in any other city or town first in fear of the kidnappers following after her, for a couple of days, until she had collapsed in a forest. She had woken up in the Cullen’s house after, they had found her on a hike.

The Cullens had tried to urge Sascha to go to the police, but she had refused, too afraid of anyone finding her, or people who were close or related to her being involved. Until Carlisle had offered to hire a private investigator, who then had gotten in contact with both the Forks and Seattle police department. At that point it had also been advised to Sascha to stay low until the situation would deescalate or be resolved by the police. Though she had been allowed her phone call with Lars. During that waiting period, she had gotten counselling and physical therapy at the Cullen house.

Sascha felt out of touch with herself while talking. As though this all had happened to someone else, not her. She caught herself in some flashes in which words would leave her mouth and she had to concentrate to get herself back into the moment. Back into a shape where she was speaking, not just letting it happen on autopilot. At some point, Lars stood back at the counter and reached across to grasp her hands, clutching at her in a tortured, frozen state.

„When it all calmed down enough, we were able to make the next arrangements and now“, Sascha cleared her throat as she choked on her own words, „and now I’m here.“

Lars was not breathing really, Sascha could hear. He was clenching his jaw, still holding her hands, and rocked himself back and forth a little. Taking in the words Sascha had given him. Slowly, he curled in on himself and rested his forehead against their hands. An eternal second stretched in utter silence, until a deep, wretched sob finally broke out of her father.

He started muttering, so quietly, so mumbled together with his sobs, Sascha wasn’t able to make out what exactly he was trying to say at first. Then-

„Sorry.“

He kept repeating it. Over and over again. His sobbing getting more and more desperate, their hands already covered with his tears. He didn’t raise his head to look her in the eyes and Sascha wasn’t even sure if she could handle the sight if he had.

„Papa“, her voice broke away again, „It’s not your fault.“

He just started crying more.

Sascha pushed herself off the counter and stepped around it to wrap her arms around her father in one swift movement. Too quick, but to hell with it. He hugged her back weakly, still not able to form a coherent sentence.

She had had her break down already. Or so she thought, really. Sascha still had a long way to go. At least she was at a point where she was able to see everything with more clarity.

„I‘m so sorry“, Lars sobbed again, voice hoarse, „I wasn’t able to protect you before, and now-“ He couldn’t finish his sentence.

Sascha clenched her burning eyes shut. Pained. It hadn’t been his fault. None of it. She wished he could see. She wished he could also see, while of course he needed help to work through all this, she only had limited capacity to console him through it. It was painful for her too. But of course... there wasn’t a single cell in her which could blame him for anything. She’d had the privilege of having been guided through this until now, she would lend some to him.

„I found my way back“, she didn’t manage to stabilise her voice, finding it progressively more difficult to speak. The familiar lump was growing quickly in her throat. „You taught me well how to navigate.“

A pained laugh mixed into Lars‘ sobbing then, tightening his hold around her. This was necessary. To get it out. Sascha only wished she could lessen his pain somehow.

When, with a start, she realised the burn in her eyes - released. Her cheeks became wet.

Wha-

Lars‘ breathing eased, the sobs slowing down, and less wrecking, as more tears collected in Sascha‘s eyes.

She was… crying.

How?

She shook her head, instead pressed her head into her father’s shoulder - still careful enough to make sure the tears stayed away from his skin - and anchored herself to the moment.

Sharing the pain. And, eventually, sharing the relief. The by then cold tea completely forgotten.

***

Chapter Text

You've Got Mail

Her skin was still warm from the hot water as Sascha stood by the window, in her father’s study. Her room for when she’d stay over for the weekend. She tucked the towel in place around her chest before raising another one to dab at her hair, squeezing the last drops out, as she looked outside into the deep night. The clock would be ticking well past 3am by now. It had taken a lot of convincing on her part to make Lars listen to his own yawns and realise his droopy eyes. Sascha had also not wanted the evening to end. Which was ridiculous. They would be seeing each other again in the morning. And standing there, scanning the quiet neighbourhood, Sascha had to admit to herself, she hadn’t listened to her own signs of needing some quiet the same way her father hadn’t listened to his tiredness.

Her nose needed the most distance, it seemed. She had gotten so used to the different scents of the Cullens, most importantly Bella as well, that they had all blended into an ever present background. Her and Alice’s midnight strolls around Forks had ensured that Sascha wouldn’t lose herself in a frenzy once back in a city environment. But it was really very little compared to being in a prolonged presence with a human again. It was a lot.

Sascha opened the window a little. The sounds of the birds, not awake but still moving and rustling in their sleep, outside in the trees would be a nice distraction too. She’d always preferred the neighbourhood of her father’s little house over the one around her own apartment. But with youth often came lack of money. And living abroad certainly didn’t help with that.

She breathed out a laugh through her nose.

Her reasoning for a less economical way of living - alone - seemed so trivial now compared to the turn her life had taken. Of course she could’ve stayed with her father after he had decided to join her for a while on her travels. Even if Lars’ current house was just rented. But she had preferred her independence as long as the circumstances allowed her.

Sascha shook her head as she turned away from the window. It all seemed like a lifetime away.

She ruffled her now damp hair one more time, and hung her towel over the back of the computer chair before reaching for the bottom drawer of the small wardrobe next to the desk. She’d always kept a few clothes there.

„Hm…“ The smell that hit her nose as Sascha pulled the drawer open made her close her eyes in thought. She could make out hints of her perfume, deodorant, even her moisturising cream. But there was something else there for which she couldn’t name its origin. Was this how she had smelled… before? She had never thought about how she smelled before. Not, how she smelled to other people by using perfume or some such. But rather, her own smell. It was weird.

She grabbed out the top hoodie and held it closer to her nose. She hummed again. It smelled human, but not „tempting“ like other humans did. There was a soft bite to it almost, nipping her senses. Interesting.

Sascha finally just grabbed that hoodie, a pair of sweatpants and some underwear, thew it all on, and got into the small bed that stood parallel to the wall, underneath the window. She reached for her phone, typed a quick few messages, and rested it back screen down on her chest. Staring at the ceiling in thought.

She didn’t have to wait long for her phone to buzz under her hands. 

(AN: keep scrolling within the chat box for the whole chat!)

Sascha hesitated, her thumbs hovering over the keyboard. Did she want to tell Alice about the fact that she had cried? She did. Her left thumb twitched to continue the sentence. Instead, she deleted it, pressed on the home button and closed the app. She would tell her. Them. But not just yet. She needed to think on it for herself for a little longer. Make sense of it herself.

Was it an attempt at getting some agency back into her new path of life? Maybe? Who knew. Sascha inclined her head at herself. As long as it didn’t feel forced in either direction, it should be okay, no matter the reason.

The following day would be draining. There was no need to lay even more contemplation and theorising on herself for now. Sascha set her phone aside and grabbed one of Carlisle‘s books instead. He had been kind enough to let her take a few. Of course she had promised to return them. The twinkle he had in his eyes when he told her „I hope so“ still made her chuckle softly.

Sascha willed herself to read slowly. Like a human. Like a slow reading human. She did have a couple of hours to kill after all. Of course she wasn’t successful with that. She read the book three times in a row instead.

***

„Do you want a coffee?“

„I’m good, thank you.“ Sascha smiled softly, observing her Dad shuffle through the kitchen as she took a seat at the dinner table. His eyes were small and squinted, blinking slowly. She giggled. „How did you sleep?“

He snorted out a laugh. „I am a sight, aren’t I?“

„You could say that.“

„Well, it was one of the better nights, to be entirely honest with you“, he sighed deeply as he plopped down in front of her, „I was almost not patient enough for the morning to come to check if you’re really here.“

A corner of Sascha’s mouth lifted as she carefully poked his hand with a sleeve covered finger. „I’m here.“

„And how happy that makes me“, there was a shine in his eyes, „Even if I don’t look the part.“

„Don’t worry, I can see it.“

Lars breathed a laugh into his cup as he raised to his lips. „Good, good.“

Sascha leaned back into the chair and looked outside the window to her left. The birds were awake now too. The sun was out. She hoped clouds would come soon.

„What about breakfast?“

The question almost startled her. She would have to get used to dodging these questions in the future. Maybe a tad more elegantly than flinching at them. „Maybe- maybe later?“

Lars’ brow creased. If only for a split second, but Sascha saw it. Whatever thought had crossed his mind, he didn’t prod. He took another sip. Then his eyebrows shot up.

„Ah!“, he leaned to the side, quickly searching through some new papers that lay on top of the messy heap she had seen the night before, and grabbed out a small stack of stapled together documents, „here. You need to fill these out for the police station. To get your things back.“

Sascha quickly scanned the pages - Property Release Request, it read in bold letters at the top. She nodded slowly, already calculating the way she had to fill it out to make it fit her story.

„I had tried to get them back months ago. My lawyer and I were going back and forth with the ones who handled the case. But even if they hadn’t needed it for the investigation, I would not have been allowed to get them back, since you are over 21, so…“

Sascha scoffed with a shake of her head. „Bureaucracy is so stupid sometimes.“

„I agree“, he raised his shoulders helplessly, „At least a kind officer notified me recently that once you come there you can get your stuff back within the day. I think she sympathised with me.“

Sascha smirked at that. „Oooh, daaad.“

Lars choked on his coffee as he barked out a laugh. A real one. „No, Sascha, not like that.“

„Aww, how disappointing.“ She pouted playfully. Laughing as well when Lars shook his head at her, peaking over the rim of his mug.

„She seems to be married anyway.“

„Aha?!“ Sascha had to refrain from slamming her hand down on the table too harsh, instead slapping her thigh as the next best option. „And why do you know that?“

Lars just smirked into his mug, eyes crinkling. „Let’s get going after I finish this mug.“

„Don’t change the topic!“

„You could get around filling out those pages now.“

Sascha swiftly reached to the left to fetch a pen, without breaking eye contact with her Dad, then pointed it at him, narrowing her eyes. „You. Are impossible.“

***

The smell that surrounded Sascha in the police station was… wretched. To say the least. Nauseating. Badly brewed beer, mixed with other alcoholic undertones wafted around. Smoke mingled together with the too sweet glaze of baked goods and clogged up her airways. A fruity room spray from the entrance area. Vomit- no. She had stopped breathing after that.

And it was too loud. There was a lot of commotion coming from somewhere behind the doors. Apparently there was a group of colleges students that had tried to protect a soda machine from being transported away, while drunk of course, who had had to spend the rest of the day at the station. They were still sobering up, with the first already having woken up, hung over, and blaming each other in all directions. Well, „already“ waking up meant 5pm at this point.

No one had told Sascha or her father this of course. But no one really had to. It was loud enough for everyone to hear. One of them was whining about how he didn’t remember having even drank that much. At least that would explain the horrendous smell of alcohol everywhere.

„Ms. Miller?“, at that Sascha snapped her attention back to the officer who was checking her request papers, „Everything seems to be in order, except for this one line. Your reason for requesting a return.“

„About that“, Sascha softly tapped the line in question, „I wasn’t exactly sure what to write here.“ She had reckoned ‚It’s my stuff and I want it back’ wasn’t exactly appropriate in this situation. So she’d rather had left it blank.

„For now you may simply write ‚personal significance’. Once everything is ready you will be informed about more important details. If necessary, you may make some changes then.“

„Okay, thank you.“ Sascha quickly scribbled down as told and handed the papers back to her.

„Perfect“, she - Officer Hill, Sascha finally caught sight of her name tag - nodded and stepped around the counter swiftly, „If you will follow me? You and your father may wait in one of the meeting roo-“, a loud clash from the back interrupted her, which caused her to roll her eyes ever so slightly, „-Meeting rooms. It’s a little less… unruly in there too.“

Sascha breathed out a laugh and motioned for her dad to come with them. „It’s alright.“

Officer Hill led them a few doors down the corridor behind the reception area, then opened one to their right and held it open for Sascha and Lars to enter first. She then followed inside and set the papers on the desk.

„Please have a seat. It won’t take long.“

„Thank you“, Sascha and Lars said in unison, and with a nod of her own the officer slipped out of the room again.

Sascha sighed as she took one of the chairs. „So far so good. I’d imagined it all… more scary.“

„They are here to help you.“

„Yeaaah, but sometimes police people can be weird.“

Lars snorted. „True true. Had my fair share of those too.“

Luckily the room really was more quiet. More than Sascha had expected it to be. The muffled sounds suggested some level of sound proofing. Sascha fished out her phone to quickly send some updates to the Cullens. When she switched her phone to silent mode, and moved to put it back into her pocket, the door opened again and a tall man stepped in. His uniform was slightly more official looking than Officer Hill’s had. When he turned to them, his Chief badge caught a flash from the ceiling light.

„Good afternoon.“ Middle aged, maybe a bit older than her father was, some years already showing in white streaks across his brown hair. His eyes creased when he offered a kind smile. „I’m Chief Stewart.“

Sascha and Lars rose from their seats to stand.

„Ms. Miller“, his voice was warm, „Let me say how happy I am to meet you.“

„It’s nice to meet you too, sir.“ Sascha bowed her head a little to him, hands clasped together behind her back. Thankfully he read the signs correctly and didn’t try to shake her hand.

„And Mr. Miller“, his hand he shook vigorously, „It’s a pleasure.“

„Likewise.“

„Please, have a seat.“

So they all did.

Chief Stewart took a quick glance at the papers in front of them, then set his clasped hands on top of them.

„We need to discuss a few formalities and, let’s say head ups, before we deal with your belongings. Is that alright with you?“

„Of course.“

„Are you willing to undergo a re-examination with our office about the events that happened between your abduction, and your return to Seattle?“

Luckily the others had prepped her for these kind of questions. „I’d rather not. I already told the relevant authorities everything there is I can tell. I’d prefer not to have to go through this again.“

„I understand. These are just some questions I have to ask. Of course it would help further investigations if we’d also had your personal accou-“

„As I said, I’d rather not, thank you.“ Sascha’s brows pulled together slightly. She couldn’t place if his pushing came from the urgency of the case, a sense of entitlement to any and all information given his position or simply because he was… a boomer. The rest of the conversation would show which it was.

Chief Stewart quickly raised his hands. „I apologise. I don’t want to be the cause for even more stress than you have already went through.“

Lars scoffed under his breath. „Stress is one way to put it.“

„One thing I want us all to be on alert for are the reporters who will without a doubt be all over this story. We just want to make sure that all direct information stays clean of outside influence, theories or even morbid sensationalism. It’s uncomfortable, however I just want to make sure I’ve not let any question unasked.“

Sascha nodded slowly, lips pursed. „Okay.“ She and the Cullens had talked about reporters, but so far they - or rather Jasper’s contacts - had done a fantastic job at keeping everything under wraps. They hadn’t even spotted as much as her name on the news so far.

„After you’ve come back, has there been any sign of danger of any kind?“

„No, luckily not.“

„Also not to those under whose protection you were? Did they undergo their examination already?“

„As far as I’m aware of, they are fine too. I don’t know about the status of their part in this investigation“, Sascha recited what they had prepared, „The relevant authorities are informed about all of this though. They will work with this station.“ She’d like to say more. Flesh out the details of their story to him, like they had prepared for themselves. But in her mind, she kept repeating don’t say more than you’re asked, don’t say more than you’re asked. She could tell them that the Cullens would like to stay anonymous if they asked. Until then it wouldn’t be relevant information.

„I see. Yes, we have been in contact with them already. I regret we haven’t been as effective as we’d like to be. It has been a rather busy few weeks, as you can imagine.“

„Oh, definitely.“

A loud crash sounded from outside the door, followed by some hollering. The college students were really throwing a right ruckus.

Chief Stewart checked his watch. „And those are certainly not helping.“

Sascha breathed a laugh through her nose.

With the tension being broken again, they quickly went over the other things that needed to be mentioned. Even if just for the record and proof that the station had done their part and no blame of gaps having been unnoticed could go to them. Did Sascha receive or require more counselling, safety regulations around her and those close to her, medical reports, possible involvement in future investigations or possibly even court hearings. It was easy to breeze through, it either didn’t really affect her, or she knew it would never come to these situations anyway. It took them but 10 minutes.

And a good thing it was. Even the sound proofing couldn’t really help against the chaos going on somewhere in the back of the station. Obviously all of the college students had woken up by this point.

„I am afraid I have to check on that myself now“, Chief Stewart gave a heavy sigh, checking his watch once more, and moved to get out of his seat, „I hope their parents will come soon to pick them up.“

„Sir wait“, Sascha quickly got up to, turning to keep facing the Chief who already walked to the door with tight steps, „What about my things?“

„It will be dealt with momentarily, don’t worry. I’m sorry for having to run out on both of you. Ms. Miller, Mr. Miller.“ He offered a nod to the both of them, then basically ran out the door as another crash echoed around the corridor.

„I don’t envy them for their work“, Lars voiced finally. He had been quiet during the entire exchange.

„Nah, me neither.“

Lars chuckled suddenly, a thought having crossed his mind. „I don’t even know what it sounds like more. That they are taking care of those boys, or if the boys are taking care of them.“

„And I don’t know which outcome I’d prefer“, Sascha giggled, the two of them sharing a brief laugh.

Then, Sascha heard the sound of two sets of feet approaching the door again. The door was opened, and another officer with a box in his hands stepped inside, with Officer Hill behind him as she had opened the door for him. She nodded at Sascha and Lars, then closed the door.

„Afternoon, I’m sorry for the wait“, he set the box down on the table, Sascha’s name was written on it, „Officer Jones, nice to meet you.“ He was younger looking than the Chief. And he wasn’t keeping himself hydrated enough, going by the dark circles under his eyes.

After their return of brief greetings, and the officer checking the papers Sascha had filled out as well, he slid those aside with a nod and put both his hands on the lid of the box with Sascha’s name.

„I will make this quick and painless. Unfortunately I cannot let you take these with you yet, but-“, he quickly raised a finger when Sascha made to protest, „I have arranged that you may check everything while under supervision. I wasn't part of this investigation, but of course I know what has been going on. If I’m not mistaken, the phone you were carrying on that day is among these things as well.“

„That’s correct“, Sascha almost felt like on autopilot again, „May I know the reason why I cannot take my things with me today? Or when I can take them at all?“

„We haven’t closed the investigation yet, so until then any and all evidence must be kept here, I’m afraid. You are aware that we might have to refer back to you, should anything else be discovered?“

„Yes.“ Don’t say more than you’re asked. He also didn’t need to know who she had talked to already.

„Good. So, unfortunately, I cannot give you details about when we will be able to return your belongings to you. We will notify you the moment this changes.“

„Okay, that’s good enough then.“

„Thank you for your understanding. I don’t dare imagine how difficult all this must be for you, Ms Miller“, Officer Jones inclined his head toward Lars, „Or you, sir.“

Sascha gave an appreciative nod.

„Okay, let’s open this one up then.“

Sascha felt almost disappointed? It was so very little of actual substance inside. Everything was neatly and separately put into plastic bags, each with a tag that included content description and the date. But all there really was were her gym clothes, which now had been stewing, unwashed, for over a year. She wouldn’t need those back anyway, now that she thought of it. Her backpack, her shoes, wallet, and her phone.

Sascha breathed out a scoff through her nose. If it weren’t for her phone… this entire visit would actually have been pointless.

„Is there missing anything, that should be there?“

Sascha looked up at Officer Jones, both of them standing over her stuff that he had laid on the table for her. „No. I was just thinking you actually don’t need to return most of these to me anyway.“

He chuckled politely. „Well, at least it’s not entirely disappointing then.“

„But, aren’t we done now then?“

„I have gotten permission to open your phone with you, so you may check the content of that as well.“

Sascha’s eyes widened, jaw loosening. „Really?“, Officer Jones merely nodded, „O-okay then. That would be great. Thank you so much.“

„We opened it one time immediately after these were found“, he explained while tinkering around with the phone still tucked in it’s plastic bag, briefly looking up with a smile, „luckily your father had a good guess on what your pin might be.“

When Officer Jones handed Sascha her phone, she didn’t have to play human. Her hands were shaking on their own accord. He breathing would have been laboured, if she had been breathing. She had grown so tense, that she stopped.

There were so many unread messages. Whatsapp was showing her a big, angry, red: 523. Her emails were in the hundreds as well. Missed calls, on multiple apps. Every app that had a messaging function - the same thing. Sascha’s neck felt hot as her muscles froze.

After a painful eternity, which actually hadn’t been more than a few, yet still excruciating seconds, she dared to open Whatsapp first. And of course her best friend’s name was at the very top. Aleyna. Clicking her name was easy. It was difficult to not break the screen. Her hands were still shaking as she scrolled through the chat.

„How much time do we have?“, Sascha’s voice was so small, she had to clear her throat, „There’s enough voice messages here to fill the next few hours.“

„We have a programme that can convert voice messages into text, would that be better?“

Sascha nodded quickly. „Definitely.“ She didn’t know if she could tolerate hearing her friends’ voices already.

„We would have to go to the Evidence Unit for that, would that be alright? Unfortunately, your father would not be allowed back there. I’m already pushing limits by offering this to you.“

„Why are you offering this anyway?“ Lars didn’t sound too happy with this turn, arms crossed before his chest.

Officer Jones looked at him with tight eyebrows, jaw locked, and took a deep breath. „I have a son of the same age. I’m just happy that at least one was able to come back.“

Lars immediately reached his hand forward to him, all suspicion wiped out of his face. When the officer, the fellow father, took his, Lars put a comforting hand on top. „My condolences.“

„Thank you, sir“, Officer Jones managed a tight smile, then looked at Sascha, „Shall we?“

„We shall.“

He quickly packed up the box again, and all three left the room. Lars walked back to the entrance area, while Sascha followed Officer Jones further toward the back of the station. Some of the college students were finally being escorted outside. Sascha had to stifle a laugh as most of them were whining and promising that it wasn’t there fault. That they, of course, only had beer.

They reached the Evidence Unit rather quickly, Sascha waited at the wall as her phone was hooked to a computer for her, and then dared to sit in front of it when she was told to.

A kind lady set her phone back to her. „Here, try read the rest while the messages are loading.“

And so Sascha did. Shaking fingers finally scrolling all the way up within Aleyna’s chat.

Chapter Text

Aleyna

Chapter Text

A Piece Of Cake

Sascha was given enough time to not just read Aleyna's messages but everyone else's as well. A truly surreal experience. Reading through everything, basically getting a summary of what was going on during that time. Of what Sascha had missed.

Aleyna had managed to get back to University about a month after Sascha had gone missing, almost burnt herself out just diving into classes as a distraction, finally finally had broken up with Niko - Sascha had to audibly laughed at that - and gotten better again, and even had been able to pass her Hammer Examen, her intermediate examination on the way to her medical degree. So many milestones, much more details. A year of Aleyna's life, and it didn't even take Sascha 15 minutes to read through it all.

Her other friends' updates washed over her, a flood of information. All of them had more or less prepared her an entire blog about what has been going on. Pictures, videos, voice messages. A digital diary.

Andrea, Isabel, Katharina, Florian, and even old classmates. Her grandparents had sent long winded emails. Sascha would surely be crying just thinking about them, old and cute as they were, sitting crouched over their worn laptop, typing tirelessly to send her messages. Close and distant relatives. Her mother…

When Sascha came to the end, she was breathing deeply, consciously. Her chest was getting a bit tight. Her head was loud. Too many thoughts and emotions were fighting for immediate attention. In an attempt to reign them in, Sascha read Aleyna's final messages one more time. It did soothe something inside her. It gave her something to focus on for the moment. Call her as soon as she could. Then her grandparents. Then her aunt. Then-

Sascha blew a heavy breath out her nose. Her chest was still tightening, her throat threatening to close up with it.

No… No.

It was too much. She needed to stop these thoughts before they drowned her.

She inhaled deeply, slowly. Making sure to not stop breathing. Breathing gave her a semblance of control.

„Are you okay?"

Sascha quickly looked up from the screen she had only been staring at with empty eyes by then. Officer Jones was regarding her with a concerned frown, as was the woman who had set up her phone for her.

„Yeah", Sascha swallowed heavily, managing a nod, „I'm just processing."

„Do you need the counsellor?"

„No, I don't think so", Sascha glanced one last time at Aleyna's messages, then carefully rose from her chair, „Maybe just some air. I've read through everything."

Officer Jones gave her an understanding nod, and motioned with an open arm toward the door. Sascha gave her thanks to the other people working in the Evidence Unit before they left.

The station was quiet then. It was on the brink of deafening with the turmoil going on inside Sascha's head. Her eyes followed the direction Officer Jone's was pointing to guide her back to the entrance area.

„Sir, I want to thank you again", Sascha swallowed on nothing, hoping it would stabilise her voice, „This was… very important to me." It didn't.

„Don't mention it, kid. I'm happy that there was at least something I could do."

In a way, which they surely couldn't even legally discuss, Sascha reckoned they were in the same boat. Well - not the same boat. Neighbouring boats that both went through the same horrifying storm. Just that one went through it, while the other had to wait in it's eye.

She hoped he'd find the end of it.

Sascha blew another slow, controlled breath through her nose when she saw the thick blanket of clouds had remained. Nothing stopped her from letting formalities unfold themselves until she briskly walked through the door. She nodded her thanks to those in charge as she passed them.

She leaned against her father's car, arms crossed and eyes trained to the floor, while Lars exchanged a few last sentences with the officers.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. And again. She fished it out with her finger tips. It was Alice. Asking if she was doing okay. She must've had a vision about this moment. Sascha managed a quick „yes - I will text you later", before closing the screen and leaning down on her knees, eyes closed.

Too much.

Footsteps neared her slowly.

„Sascha? Are you okay?"

Her jaw clenched on its own, shoulders becoming steel. She quickly turned around, back towards the police station, and crossed her arms again, hiding her shaking fingers in the crooks of her arms.

„I just need a moment." Her voice came out strangled as Sascha inhaled immediately after the last syllable forced itself out her throat. She started pacing slowly to the back of the car.

She thanked the heaven that her father didn't push. She registered faintly that he took some steps toward the car too, nothing more.

If still human, Sascha would have to go to the dentist after this day to check her molars. Her fingers were clenching similarly into her arms until-

Shit.

She quickly balled her hands to fists, arms still crossed. One of her fingernails had sliced into the fabric of her hoodie.

A gap of silence opened in her head at the distraction. Big enough for the typically mundane sensation of her own fingertips against her palms to make Sascha remember.

She started squeezing her fists in the rhythm in which she could hear her dad's heart beating. No - quickly she focused on the much calmer heartbeat of Officer Hill back inside the station.

Five slow beats, and Sascha's shoulders loosened. Sound of her surroundings fully came back to her ears. She hadn't even noticed it was gone. She opened her eyes.

Ten beats, and there was smell. She could breathe again. Sascha inhaled deeply, feeling a different kind of relief than oxygen in her lungs. She focused on a small bird flitting across the sky.

Fifteen. Unclenched jaw. Relaxed eyebrows. Movable toes.

Sascha unwound her arms from around herself and shook out her hands a little. She took a couple more deep breaths as she inspected the clouds above her a moment longer. They were beautiful.

She turned around again and met her father's worried gaze. „Okay."

If Lars had questions, he didn't press. He gave her a soft nod, the furrow not leaving his brows. „Shall be we head back?"

„Yes please."

The car ride was silent. Sascha had her temple resting against the window, noting how it felt warm where it had felt cool in the past. She focused on the kerbside rushing by them along the road through the sideview mirror. In the corner of her eye she caught her father shifting tensely from time to time. A quick glance to the steering wheel showed her his knuckles had already turned white.

She leaned into the corner between seat and door, head still tilted to rest against the glass, looking at him. He noticed. He let his eyes check her for just a second before focussing on the road ahead again, hitting the blinker for a left turn.

„Papa? Are you okay?"

His brows scrunched up in pain again as he breathed out a miserable laugh. „You're asking if I'm okay?"

„Yes."

„Don't worry about me, Sascha", he shook his head, eyes turning glassy, yet he managed to keep his voice even, „I'm just trying to figure out a way to help you."

„I can dea-"

„I know", he quickly cut in, inclining his head a little, „I know you have your ways. And still, it's also my responsibility to make sure you are okay. Healthy." He gave her another short look at the last sentence.

Sascha inhaled slowly, deeply through her mouth as she thought his words over. She couldn't even imagine what he was thinking of her physical health alone. She knew he was noticing that there was something different about her. He probably just couldn't put a finger on it.

„You still haven't eaten", Lars was levelling his voice carefully, „Anything."

„I…" There was no way to end this sentence in a way that could solve this problem. Not easily, anyway.

„Is there something else… I should know about?"

Her mind was racing yet again. Thankfully it was a battle of logic and her personal moral code. Nothing that could shackle her lungs and keep her prisoner in her own body. What kind of answer could she give him? Or should she give him?

The carefully curated lie? An evasion and a promise to explain later? The truth?

To keep herself from laughing bitterly at the last one, she pursed her lips, scrunching her nose a little in distaste at what she was going to say next.

„I have been getting better. But", she sighed heavily, „One thing I haven't been able to overcome yet is… eating with other people around. It often causes me to have panic attacks. So I have to… eat alone still."

If Lars' knuckles could turn any whiter, they would. His bones were about to burst through his skin if he clenched them any tighter. If Sascha's ears weren't betraying her, she could even hear some tiny vessels squish together in his fingers. Bruises that no human would ever notice.

„I should've told you earlier. I'm sorry."

Lars quickly shook his head, slowing down the car as they turned into their street. „No, no need to say sorry."

Silence engulfed them until they reached her father's little house. Even until Lars carefully shut the door behind him and both had kicked off their shoes by the front.

Sascha moved to the kitchen to wash her hands, turning the water a little too warm in the hopes of some of its heat to remain on her skin. She could feel the presence of her father linger somewhere behind her. She took time in lathering her fingers with soap.

„I'm thankful that you told me."

Sascha turned to look over her shoulder, Lars was leaning down on the counter with his forearms. He nodded at her with a soft, yet saddened smile.

„Of course." Sascha's voice was quiet. She turned back to wash off the soap.

„Thank you for being honest with me."

An iron vice squeezed her insides.

„Can I make you a… food proposition?"

This one actually managed a giggle out of Sascha as she dried her hands and turned around. „A food proposition?"

„If you could eat anything in the world right now, what would it be?"

With a start, the guilt within her was all but crushed by a different feeling. A sinking, dragging coldness. With everything that had been going on, she had completely forgotten to even realise that… her favourite foods were lost to her. And had been so for over a year. She steeled her face quickly to a mask of contemplation.

„Anything?"

„Well, anything that belongs in the area of my abilities."

They shared a laugh. Sascha caught her sadness from slipping out and tapped her chin in feigned thought to cover it.

She smiled weakly at the first memory presenting itself to her when thinking of foods she enjoyed. It had been a boring afternoon, sometime in the previous spring. The smell of freshly fried pancakes and way too much melted sugar and cinnamon had been everywhere.

„Then I would do anything for your pancakes."

The careful, happy tug in Lars' brow was only fleeting before he made sure to show his calming support instead. Something he surely thought a parental figure should sport. But it of course didn't slip past Sascha's quick eyes.

The grief and guilt inside her were holding hands by that point.

„Sounds good", Lars said, before he squinted his eyes in thought as he looked at the fridge, „I need to get some things from the grocery store for that - well, the fridge needs some stocking up in general. It will be a quick thing though. Do you want to come with me, or take some rest?"

„Definitely rest", Sascha didn't even have to think, „The station was enough."

She could tell by Lars' tense shoulders as he grabbed one of the grocery bags they'd always take with them, that he wasn't too happy with leaving her alone in the house. He respected her wish under the condition that she'd look the front door immediately after him so he could hear the lock click and keep the key in the door. Sascha smiled to herself as she did so. It was an easy request. If it were any other situation, she would have enjoyed to laugh about it with him instead. That is, if she could tell him that even if someone tried to break in, they would be encountering the most dangerous predator they'd ever meet.

***

The pancakes were sitting cold on her desk, untouched. They had been for hours. Sascha had her knees pulled to her chest, arms wrapped around them, face half buried in her arms, as she kept staring at the plate. The ticking of the clock from downstairs (which she couldn't tune out for the life of her) a constant, audible reminder of another layer of dread being added to her soul. Her father had even gone so far to decorate the plate with blueberries and slices of apples.

The taste of mud still lingered on her tongue from the desperate attempt to maybe, possibly tricking reality and letting her enjoy the fruit. Her anxiety might taste the same.

When the 7,000th second threatened to burst her skull, Sascha quickly reached for her phone, scrolled through the few contacts, and pressed the call button.

She didn't even have to wait until second 7,003 when her call was picked up.

„Yes?"

„Do you have a moment?"

„For you, darling, I have two."

She joined Jasper in his chuckle and pressed her face a little further into her knees. Her voice coming out muffled.

„You're stupid."

Jasper breathed out another laugh. „What ails you?"

„Have you spent your evening reading your novels?"

„I have", surprise was laced through his tone, „How did you know?"

Sascha hummed and rested her chin back on her knees. „You always talk a bit more posh after you've spent time in those old stories."

„This one wasn't even in English."

„Spanish?", she waited for his confirming hum, „Well, it must be the setting then."

„An interesting observation", he chuckled again before his voice turned mellow, „Are you okay, Sascha?"

„My mind was too loud."

She could hear some shuffling as he seemingly changed his position. „Did something happen?"

„I had to tell my dad that I had to eat alone from now on", she paused to take a deep breath, „He made me pancakes."

Jasper sighed softly. „I'm sorry you had to lie to him."

„I tried a blueberry. It really tastes like slime and dirt", Sascha groaned pathetically.

„Be careful about when it comes out again."

„Ah, I spat it out."

„Okay", Jasper said quietly, not saying anything else immediately after. He was waiting for her to get to the bottom of her problem.

Sascha blinked a couple of times, looking up at the ceiling. „I used to love blueberries… and cinnamon."

Jasper hummed again, understanding. „I see."

„I just-", she fumbled for the right word, then sighed, her eyes burning, „It's so silly, but all my favourite foods will be revolting to me now, and I don't even really remember when I ate them for the last time."

„What's your favourite food?"

„Delicious, spicy, red Thai curry", Sascha gave a watery laugh, „Do you remember yours?"

„It's all quite blurry. Considering the time, I probably never had the opportunity to enjoy other countries' palettes. But… I think I remember vaguely my mother making Gumbo for us. It's all very unclear, but that always stuck. Like an afterthought."

„I've never had Gumbo before…" One of the reasons she had loved to travel. Try new foods in each country. Get used to their way of cooking, their spices and seasoning. Eventually incorporate it into her own cooking.

„I don't remember the flavour anymore either. But I must have liked it, if I can still remember at least something."

„Do you-", Sascha hesitated a moment, „do you remember your mum?"

She heard Jasper hum in thought again and wondered what his expression was in that moment. Did it pain him to remember? Or to try and fail? Was it a small source of calmness or soothing for him if something did resurface?

„Only fragmentally, really. I don't remember her face anymore, or how her voices sounded", he spoke carefully, slowly, as though he was trying to hold onto the images while he talked, „But I do know we were close."

His tone tugged at her heartstrings. „That sounds nice."

„Should I point out that you're distracting again, or should we look past it?", Jasper joked, but in an almost too perfect, too studied manner.

Sascha played along and laughed softly. She chose to not point out that he himself just made an attempt to distract as well.

„You know, sometimes I also just like to hear about your past."

„Understandable", he chuckled, back to being genuine, „But I'm not wrong either way, am I?"

„Of course not."

„How was it at the police station? You have been awfully quiet afterwards."

„It was a lot. Humans are loud."

Jasper snorted a laugh. „Indeed they are."

„I got to read all the messages that had been sent to my old phone though", a hint of sombreness joined her tone.

„How did that feel?"

„Like a lot as well. It was nice of course, but also seeing that… they were in so much pain."

Jasper made a noise of understanding. „Do you feel ready to reach out to them?"

„Hard to say, if I'm honest. On one hand I feel like I should do it as soon as possible, but I also don't want it to swallow me up."

„If you're not sure, doesn't it sound like you need a bit more time, possibly?"

„Maybe", Sascha sighed, „I definitely can't contact them all at the same time anyway. No matter when or if I'm ready."

„Then how about you just focus on the ones you want to talk to first. Don't think about all of them at once."

„Shouldn't I at least give them a sign? Even if it's just one sentence?"

„Sascha", he said softly, „There is no should or shouldn't for you right now. It's all up to you and what you can manage. They ought to understand."

She exhaled slowly as she stretched her legs out in front of her, back flopping against the headrest of her bed. „Yeah, they should, shouldn't they?"

„Whatever you choose to do, it's fine. It's up to you, and you alone. Just make sure you don't choose for someone else's sake, okay?"

„Okay."

In a way, Sascha appreciated his gentle, yet firm way to support her. It was still difficult to listen to him, but he knew her inner voice tended to be too loud. And he knew how to work around it when she needed a push.

A quiet breath of a laugh escaped her when a particular bunch of messages came to the forefront of her memories. But as quick as the corners of her mouth had quirked up, they fell again into frown.

„What?"

„I just remembered - my friends celebrated my birthday for me, with a huge cake and everything. One of my friends is an avid baker in his free time and he'll whip up some frosting masterpiece whenever he gets the chance", Sascha gestured wildly while she spoke, wishing to draw one of Florian's cakes into existence just by her hands, „I wish I could have enjoyed at least one more of his cakes too."

„It sounds more than delicious", Jasper mused, a sort of appreciation for this story lacing his voice, then he sighed heavily, „I'm sorry though… I never realised you had to spend your birthday in captivity."

Sascha mirrored his sigh, shrugging helplessly. „When I saw the first snow fall I knew my birthday must've passed already. My feeling of time was more or less gone after the first couple of months."

„If we'd been aware, I'm sure Alice would have prepared a belated party for you to celebrate."

Sascha shook her head with the ghost of a smile. „We were preoccupied for more important matters than a birthday."

„Don't you ever let Alice hear that", he hushed in mock caution.

Finally, she let out a proper laugh again, quickly covering her mouth with one hand as to not wake her father down the corridor.

Jasper hummed in satisfaction. „That one sounded genuine." His voice was so soft. Like velvet again.

When Sascha dragged her hand down her chin, she wasn't able to pull down her smile with it. „It's not like I'm never laughing."

„Either way, I just like to hear it."

Sascha breathed a laugh through her nose. „I'm sure the thought of food will not always be glum for me."

„Like most other things, as I told you, that will get better too."

„I'm sure you're right", she muttered, frowning with another thought that crossed her mind, „You know, at first I didn't quite know what to imagine when you said I must mourn my mortality", she sighed once more, „I'm beginning to understand now."

„I wish", he paused, voice thick, she could practically see his deep frown, „I wish you'd never have to live through this."

„It is what it is now, I reckon", Sascha said quietly, before clearing her throat, „At the end of the day, it let me met you guys. That's something."

„Something with a terribly high cost."

She looked up to the ceiling again as the burn came back. Her lips twitched with a smile. Pained, but real. „I'm still doing the books on that."

Jasper chuckled weakly. „Let me know the result?"

„You'll be the first I tell."

They shared a laugh at that. Genuine on both parts. Sascha moved to lie down on her side, giggling softly, as she made herself comfortable and nuzzled her cheek into her pillow.

„So are there any news from the Cullen residence?"

„It's been two days."

„So, no?"

„Well, Bella did tell her father about the engagement."

***

They had kept talking for hours. About nothing of real substance. Only really noticing that time had passed when the sun had started stretching its first rays across the sky. Jasper had done his best to not let any disappointment show through his tone when Sascha had noted hearing her father waking up. Her sign to hang up.

He slowly lowered his phone from his ear after their call ended, seeing the almost empty battery notice. He chuckled softly to himself. He couldn't remember the last time he had- no. He had never had such a long phone call before. Of course he hadn't. Nomads didn't usually keep friends longer than their shared journey together lasted. And his family was seldom farther than a room away. No need for phone calls. Maybe, he ought to reach out to Peter some time soon.

Jasper glanced over to his forgotten book that lay next to him on his little coffee table. His interest to keep reading had dissipated. With a tug in his stomach, he found himself noticing, for the first time in forever, how quiet the house was. The hushed conversations through the walls, softly played music, the occasional movie or show, the forest around the house, or even the soft creaking of the house itself had always seemed too loud to be comfortable in. Silence was never really available to their hearing.

However in that very moment, he had never experienced a more crushing silence. He sighed.

It's only been two days.

***

Chapter Text

Picking Up The Pieces

Even given the fact that it was night time, the woods were incredibly quiet. Eerily so. Of course they were. Sascha rolled her shoulders to try and get the tension out. She had learned a long time ago that if all wildlife suddenly fell quiet, especially in a forest, it was due to some sort of serious danger being close. In this instance the danger was - her.

She looked around, relishing in being able to use her eyes properly without the blue contacts burning away in them. She'd been running through them quite quickly with how many hours she had to wear them each day. She didn't bother putting them in during the night, but the park or her room didn't give her much to look at anymore. The forest was a nice change of scenery.

Even if hunting alone was much more… serious than it had been before. With the others. At least they had had some fun in between. Some racing here and there, some conversation between catches. Sascha shuddered at the thought of living alone like that for an extended amount of time. Surely it would not be good for her mental condition. And here she had thought she would be completely fine in solitary whenever she saw it as some sort of punishment on prison shows.

„Nope", she popped the P at herself.

She checked her phone again, for the up-tenth time, to make sure she was still on mute. She was. The silent call to her dad's phone ticking away at half an hour by that point. She had basically converted her phone into a baby phone to keep an ear on her father while she was out during the night for a hunt. Before, she hadn't dared to really go further than a couple of minutes, which really only had given her a radius that included some parks. With some bunnies and squirrels. And while she did have to make sure to stay well fed to avoid any and all risk of thirst among humans, in order to sate that hunger, she would have to munch through all of their neighbourhoods bunny population by the end of the month.

And honestly, the way these small animals were trembling, even if she was quick about it, had been starting to pull at all of her heart strings.

This had been the first night after a little over a week that Sascha had dared to venture out a little further. She had been able to reach those woods at the edge of a mountain area in almost 20 minutes. She reckoned that after a „proper" meal, she should be able to get back quicker. Her father's even snores gave her the peace of mind to allow herself to stay out a little bit longer. Maybe she would find another mountain lion. At least then she wouldn't have to worry about going hunting again for maybe a week.

***

Sascha was pleased to find out that, filled and sated, she actually was able to get back quicker than on the way to the forest. Much quicker. And not a moment too soon. As she was starting to close in to their neighbourhood, Lars' even snores turned erratic. He obviously started to toss and turn in a way that even his phone's microphone picked up the shuffle of his sheets. When Sascha heard Lars making pained mumbled sounds, she quickly fished out her phone to end the call. A second later his house came into view. When in reach, she leaped up the wall to her window and grabbed the edge of it with one hand, with the other she slipped off her shoes. She could hear Lars' gasping whimpering through the walls.

The moment she jumped into her room and slid the window shut again, Lars' scream sounded from across the corridor.

Then… his heavy breathing. Sniffles. Silence. And finally, slow footsteps.

Without a sound she moved to push her shoes underneath the bed and pulled the blanket over her body, quickly turning to lie down on her side.

Only a few moments later, her ears picked up the sound of her door creaking open slowly. Her father's heart was hammering away like a thunder storm that was barely contained in his chest. She could hear he wasn't breathing.

Her mind was racing a thousand miles per hour. Not even Edward would keep up with a single thought. Could he tell she wasn't sleeping? What was he thinking? What was his nightmare about? Should she show she was awake? Pretend to keep sleeping? Should she-

A stifled sob made all those questions come to an immediate halt.

She turned around slowly, feigning grogginess, and rubbed her eyes. „Papa?"

The sight well nearly broke her heart. Her father had never looked so small before. Not that she could remember. Her voice had made him stop before he had been able to move back into the corridor. A hand still clasped over his mouth and eyes screwed shut. Only for a second, but enough time for her to see it all.

He tried to compose himself quickly, rubbing at his eyes, dragging both hands down his face with a hasty motion. „Go back to sleep, honey", he forced a smile on his face - it looked like a grimace, „I'm sorry I woke you up."

Sascha sat up instead. „What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

„It's nothing, trust me", his voice broke painfully at the end, which he tried to cover by clearing his throat quickly. More tears collected in his eyes again. „Just a nightmare. Go back to sle-"

„-I had one too." The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Lars' posture shifted. The tremble in his breathing stopped almost instantly. „Do you need anything?"

„Sit with me for a while?"

He sniffled. „Of course."

He opened the door a little wider to enter the room, as Sascha moved to drape her blanket over her shoulders quickly to hide the few blood stains on her shirt. Though it was a darker colour, she really didn't want to risk him seeing it. With her blanket coat, she slid off the side of her bed to sit on the floor next to where Lars had settled down.

The were quiet for a few beats. While Lars' breathing had been forced by him to calm down, his heart was doing the opposite.

Out of the corner of her eyes Sascha saw his hand lift, about to reach over to her, but just about, before he quickly stopped his movement and dropped his hand into his lap instead. The lie she had told about why she needed as little skin to skin contact cackled diabolically in her mind.

To make it shut up, and to bridge the distance Sascha didn't yet know how to overcome otherwise, she carefully leaned her head into the crook of his neck. Immediately, releasing a slow, silent breath, Lars rested his head on hers.

She mindlessly picked at her finger nails, eyes trained down, but not looking at anything.

„Papa?"

„Hm?"

„What was your nightmare about?"

He swallowed hard. A few seconds passed before replied. „It's a recurring one I've been getting since the- that day."

„Did you think you only dreamt I came back?"

Sascha felt him nod against the top of her head.

How she wished for a moment that she was older. Maybe then she would feel like she could be actually there for him. And know what to say.

„Is there anything you need?"

„No, honey, it will be fine. I'm not telling you this to make you worry. It's just so you know what's going on."

„Okay", Sascha whispered, eyes still unfocussed on her fingers.

„And I am talking about this. I'm not bottling it up."

She perked up at that. „With who?"

„Tanja, mostly."

Of course. Her aunt - his sister - and him had always been close.

With a start Sascha realised how she missed her. They hadn't heard from each other in a while already before she had been abducted.

„That's good."

„So, don't you worry about me. Focus on yourself."

Sascha nudged him carefully with her blanket-pillowed elbow. „You don't need to bubble wrap me."

„Oh yeah I do. At least for another year", Lars chuckled softly.

„Wonderful."

They shared a quiet laugh. Lars sniffled one more time, but breathed out what sounded like a relieved sigh after.

Sascha tried not to worry too much if they were repressing their emotions in that moment rather than processing them. Had they lifted the weight of the situation too quickly? On the other hand, what good would it do to prolong such moments. The circumstances weren't easy. It would be difficult for a while. No need to cling onto dread too long. It would surely come around soon to remind everyone that there was still much to deal with anyway.

„How about your nightmare?"

Sascha blinked. „Uh, just a lot of chaos. I can't pick out anything specific", better that then coming up with something on the fly, „It wasn't so bad luckily."

„Not the Stranger Dream again? You'd always get that a lot when you were stressed."

Her recurring nightmare since she had been a child. It had started off as a normal nightmare, but stuck, and after months, then years, of it coming around often enough to become ridiculous, they had coined it the Stranger-Dream.

It had always gone the same exact way. Her, stuck in her room, and a stranger appearing in front of her window, just looking. And looking. While her dream-self remained frozen.

Looking back at him.

He'd look like being about to make a move, lunge at her maybe. But then her bedroom door would open, both of them would snap their heads to the door. And then she'd wake up. Breathless and shivering most of the time. Even in her more or less adult years.

She hadn't thought of it in a long time. Well, she hadn't had a dream in a long time either.

„No, not that one", she admitted, „That one hasn't bothered me at all lately, actually."

„At least something then, hm?"

Sascha only hummed in agreement. Would she ever have a dream again? Considering she wasn't able to sleep anymore… probably not? Maybe, once her life turned boring again, she'd be able to fall into day dreams every once in a while. After all, she had been rather ‚good' at that, even before. Without even trying.

The short quiet broke again when, seemingly without reason, Lars chuckled into himself.

Amused, Sascha blew air through her nose. „What?"

„Remember, that one time you had the stranger-dream when you had Aleyna over for a sleepover?"

Immediate laughter bubbled up inside her. „Oh my gosh, in middle school that one time?"

„I think so", he replied through chuckles, „You slapped the poor girl straight in the face."

„She scared me half to death when I woke up and she was just looking at me like a zombie."

Lars covered his mouth with his hands to stifle his laughter at that thought. „It's not like she wasn't in your room when you fell asleep."

„But she wasn't standing next to me!"

„You girls gave me a good scare with the screaming."

„We weren't able to fall asleep for another hour", Sascha giggled and sighed.

„I was aware", Lars pretended to flick her nose with a smile, „I could hear you."

Sascha hummed, her chest fluttered almost with how light it felt. „That was a fun weekend."

„We had many, didn't we?", he pressed his cheek into the top of her head affectionately.

„Yeah."

The fell into comfortable silence again. Lars' sniffles had finally eased up and stopped entirely. His heart rate had calmed down by then as well. Maybe it had done him well to focus on her just for a moment. He didn't need her to talk about his problems. At least not all of the time. He needed to be reminded that she was well. And that she was there.

But maybe there was a person who needed to talk to her. And who Sascha also needed- no, wanted to talk to. She glanced at the clock on her wall. It was close to 4 am.

She shifted a little to look at her dad, „Do you think-"

Lars looked more then bewildered. Eyes blown wide, and brows almost vanishing in his hairline.

„Papa?"

„What happened to your eyes?!"

God fucking damn it.

She had forgotten about her missing contacts. Lars' eyes must've accommodated to the dark enough already.

And she had just went hunting. They must be glaringly bright.

„Uh", she had had prepared an explanation for it, but where was it?

She had thought of it on her own, since she and the Cullens hadn't gone over that part. The contacts she'd been given had been enough coverage at the time. But it had only been a fleeting thought, when she had remembered how Edward… Why was Edward an association that her brain brought up now?

There it is.

‚It's the fluorescents'. What an idiot.

„Uh, I have to wear contacts sometimes."

„Coloured contacts?"

„Yeah, they're, uh-", get a grip for fucks sake, „-particular contacts I got from an oculist. I got them to treat my… retinas."

Lars blinked several times while shaking his head in confusion. And worry was creeping back into his face as well. This is not where she wanted him to go.

„Wha- what happened to your retinas?"

„The… dust in that place where we had been kept did some damage to them over time, without any treatment. So now I have to wear these", Sascha pointed at her own eyes dumbly, „to make it better again. They weren't sure, but maybe I will have to keep wearing them forever."

His brows pulled together in pain. „Oh god Sascha-"

„-It's not so bad, actually", she quickly interrupted him, and tried to force an excited smile on her face, „They actually improved my vision a lot."

Lars swallowed hard, and was silent for a moment. Looking closely at her expression and eyes. Eventually, he nodded. „Well then… And why yellow?"

„The only other option was red, I didn't ask any questions after that."

At that, he actually managed to breathe out a weak laugh, shaking his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose. „Unbelievable."

She grimaced with an awkward, forced giggle. „I know."

„Sascha", Lars sighed finally and put a hand on her blanket-covered shoulder, „Wear them whenever you need. You don't need to only wear them at night to hide it from me."

She blinked in surprise, glad that he didn't ask her why she hadn't told him, or worn them before.

„Okay?"

She wasn't going to correct the perfectly good reason he had come up with by himself.

Instead, she nodded once. „Okay."

Lars mirrored her nod. „Good", he said through a yawn that caught him in the moment.

„I was going to ask you, if you're gonna be okay to sleep again, but that yawn tells me everything I need to know", Sascha smiled.

He chuckled through another yawn. „You might be right. How about you? Are going to be able to fall asleep as well?"

„Actually", Sascha drummed her fingers on her knees and glanced at the clock again, „I was thinking about calling someone."

Lars raised his brows with a surprised sound. „At this time?"

„In Germany it should be about 1 pm right now, no?"

„I see, I see", he said with a warm smile and finally pushed himself up from the ground, ruffling Sascha's hair, „Say hi to her for me."

She giggled and smoothened her hair out again, also rising to sit back on her bed. „I will."

He stopped by her door. „And try to get some more sleep after."

„Yes, Papa. Sleep well."

„You too, honey", he gave her tired smile, before he carefully pulled the door shut behind him, mumbling to himself in the corridor about yellow contacts.

Sascha breathed out a laugh and shook her head a little. What a stupid explanation… but as long as it worked.

She quickly fished her phone out of her pocket then. Her heart would surely jump out of her chest if it still could. The way she was feeling, it actually wouldn't surprise her if she was still somehow able to combust.

She shook her head once, and quickly tapped the contacts icon, and then the name right at the top without giving herself enough time to overthink too much. She would wait forever if she waited until she was ready. A recurring theme, she noticed.

Sascha slowly lifted her phone to her ear as the dial tone came up, resting her elbows on her knees.

With a start she realised, that in that moment, she couldn't even wait a second longer. It had been so thoroughly overdue. She should've called much much sooner-

„Hello?"

Sascha wished she could break down in tears.

„Hey, Aleyna."

„Oh my god!", she screamed into the phone.

Sascha heard something crashing to the floor, followed by the worried voices somewhere further away from the telephone asking what was wrong. Aleyna didn't even try to answer them, fumbling for words herself. And air.

„Breathe", Sascha tried to calm her with a watery laugh.

„I'm trying," Aleyna whimpered miserably on the other side of the line. „Sh- oh my god, Sascha- It's Sascha!"

More shocked yelps and cries sounded from wherever Aleyna was. Probably with her parents, considering the short prayer in Turkish Sascha could hear.

Sascha's smile was threatening to break her face. „Hey there."

„Hey", Aleyna laughed through her tears, „Oh my god, it's you. I- I can't- oh god."

„It's so good to hear your voice."

Aleyna tried to control her more than erratic breathing, her whimpers having turned to hiccups. „Oh my- give me a moment."

„I'm not going anywhere", Sascha said with a smile.

Aleyna burst into a fresh wave of tears.

***

„She's doing her internship right now. Kind of like a rotation in all the different surgical wards at the hospital."

Lars whistled shortly as he sorted through some papers. The mess on the dinner table had only marginally improved. „I'm still so impressed. She told me a few things every once in a while we would have a phone call."

„Same here", Sascha nodded and crossed her arms with a proud smile, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

„Did you even sleep at all after- god where is it?"

„No, I wasn't tired actually", she answered slowly, frowning with a tilted head when Lars leaned over another pile of documents, „What are you looking for anyway?"

„Ah some files about the workshop. I need the employment contract. And the renting contract for this house?"

Sascha made a startled noise. „Hm? Why?", she walked over to the table, „Do you need help finding them?"

„They must be here somewhere", he muttered, his hands cramping into claws of frustration when a small pile had slipped enough to the side to make some papers flutter to the floor. He groaned, picked them up quickly and let them drop on the table again, before he took a deep breath. „I hadn't told you yet, but I was actually looking into renting a smaller place while you were… gone."

„Really?"

Lars nodded, lips pursed. „Yeah. All that work with lawyers, the police, and absence from my actual work because of it, keeping the rent up for your place and this place - I made it last as long as I could, but I was reaching a point now where I had to… make some decisions. And leaving was obviously out of the question."

„Shit yeah", Sascha whispered, feeling dumb for not having thought about that, „I- I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

„Sascha, please. This was completely out of your control."

A weird bite of guilt mixed shame clenched her insides. Guilt for not having helped while she technically could have already. Shame for having thought she could've asked the Cullens for money… She was in no position to engage in any kind of greed.

And then guilt again for not having thought of any of these factors at all. How could she have forgotten about her little apartment completely?

She wished for her blue contacts when she glanced at a specific pile of documents. At least then her vision would be blurry enough to not make out every single digit on those account statements. The red was enough.

„You've been paying my rent until now?"

Strangely, that question made Lars smile. „Ah, yes and no. Mrs. Greene was kind enough to consider your situation and decided almost immediately she would allow me to keep the renting contract in your name, while we opened your apartment as an Airbnb. Those earnings went directly to her. I got all your personal stuff out there first, got your mattress out too, and bought new bedding, so that… it would all still be fresh, once you got back."

Mrs. Greene, Sascha's landlady, had always been a sweet old woman. Widowed but still living life up with her friends of 50 plus years. She lived in the apartment below Sascha's place, with a cute little garden toward the back. A couple of times Sascha had found herself in the middle of an evening round of cards, tea and cookies with Mrs. Greene and her friends (who definitely didn't have just sugar in their teas). It had been lovely.

„Wow", Sascha felt almost breathless, „I don't know what to say."

„Mind you, not a lot of people even came to Seattle during all of this chaos. She never said anything about it."

She went up behind his chair and gave him a careful hug around the back, careful to keep her hands tucked in her sleeves. „You both are… amazing."

Lars patted her arm affectionately. „Most people were very helpful and understanding. It surprised me, if I'm completely honest."

„You would do the same if it were reversed and you were in a position where you could help."

He hummed. „I'd like to think so."

„I know so", Sascha squeezed the tiniest bit to give him a human-level strong hug, and then let go, not wanting her cold temperature to seep through her clothes and to him. She then took a seat opposite from him, observing the papers. „Okay then at least let me help organise all of this."

„Are you sure you're up for this? Shouldn't you be… resting?"

Sascha fought of an eye role, the affectionate kind of course. „Therapists also say that sometimes it's best to just get distraction. Mindless paperwork is just the thing."

„Well yes, but I also don't want you to be stressed by the contents of it all."

„I will not read the stuff concerning my abduction then. I even think that I should know about the other things, if there are going to be changes."

„You're making too much sense."

„Good", Sascha shot him a broad grin, making him snort out a laugh, instantly reminding her where she had gotten her laugh from.

„Cheeky, cheeky", he muttered with a smile, before he sobered up again, a sudden frown tugging at his brow.

Sascha blinked. „What was that thought about?"

„Before we handle all this", he gestured broadly toward the paper mess in front of them, „Do you think we can talk about what kind of plans we have for the coming weeks? Or do you need some more time before even thinking about any of that?"

„Of course we can", she replied quickly, „I've been in a near constant state of waiting long enough."

„Okay."

„What was on your mind?"

„I was thinking that maybe… it doesn't have to be right now, we could still wait a couple of months, but I was thinking it might be time for us to return to Germany."

She hadn't seen that coming. And at the same time she wasn't surprised at all, after letting the thought take some laps in her mind. She felt awfully neutral about it. Not to say, absolutely torn. Returning to Germany sounded great actually, but leaving didn't sit right with her at all.

And it had nothing to do with her feeling attached to Seattle.

But even through her sudden sentimental stupor, Sascha was able to see the sense behind his idea.

Maybe she really was making too much sense.

„I think you might be right", she said slowly.

God, both decisions felt wrong. And right. She wanted nothing more than to see her friends again, the rest of her family of course. Re-connect with all of them. And she hadn't set foot on German ground in a long, long time. She'd been in the Americas a good year and a half before she had been abducted even. Lars was right when he said it was time to go back.

At the same time, a tiny, scared voice in the corner of her mind pleaded her to stay. What if she went back to Germany, and then didn't manage to return to Forks any time soon? She didn't want to lose contact with the Cullens. It had been daunting enough to just move cities. Her wish to live as domestic neighbours with them proved to be just as big as returning to the familiar surroundings that her friends and family offered.

Maybe she could shove them all in her suitcase… Alice would fit. Jasper she could mend together again after.

Wow- morbid much?

But wait!

There definitely was going to be the wedding.

They hadn't set the date yet though. Alice had said she would let her know once they agreed on a day.

If Sascha and her dad left soon, then she'd get to spend enough time in Germany to properly arrive and still come back to the States to join the wedding. Maybe then she would have figured something out with… her entire situation so that choosing what to do and where to stay would be less terrifying.

„Don't break your brain there, honey. If it's too much to think about, we can talk about this later."

Sascha forced her eyes back into focus, only then realising she had completely zoned out and had only stared off into the backyard. She shook her head a little.

„No, it's fine, I promise. I've just been thinking about… how and when and… and all that."

„Well, how - with a plane, and when is completely up to you. And everything else we can figure out as well."

A plane ride. She had not thought about that yet either. Close proximity with possibly hundreds of humans, locked in a tin can.

Hm.

She'd definitely have to talk about that with some more experienced vampires.

„Step by step, Sascha."

She nodded quickly, and swallowed. With a deep breath, she tapped her fingers on the table. „How about first we sort through all of this."

„Let's do it."

***

Sascha tentatively picked up her favourite carving knife - the tiniest one she had, perfect for intricate designs - and let her eyes roam over her old working station. Every tool still exactly where she had left it.

She and her father actually had went to their workshop to get the employment contract, since he only had the outdated version. Lars had apparently left the current one at the workshop after he and his boss had made some adjustments to it.

It was a Sunday afternoon, so no one was there. She'd have to stop by some other time to meet them. At least some of her favourite colleagues.

Her working area, the smallest one, since she'd usually do mostly freelance stuff - opposed to the others who were working on commission more and just needed more space - had remained unchanged.

The only thing out of place, because she would never do that, was her working gear, which lay neatly folded on her chair.

Lars had went to the upstairs office for some more papers a moment before, but she still had to breathe out a laugh in disbelief at the fact that not even their boss had insisted on assigning her work station to someone else. The explanation Lars had given her made sense, though. The people in Seattle had other things to worry about in the last year or so.

Sascha weighed the knife in her hand and looked over to a pile of scrap wood. She'd been using her own finger nails ever since the change and hadn't even been able to use wood yet. She had to try.

However, footsteps coming back downstairs alerted her that now wasn't the moment. She reckoned even she wouldn't come up with a quick and plausible explanation how she was able to crumble wood to splinters with her bare hands should anyone see it.

She set her knife back down on the table. „You got everything?"

„Yes", Lars shook the papers in his hands awkwardly, cradling something else, „And I found this."

„Oh my god", Sascha immediately reached her hands out as he held out a circular wooden ornament to her.

„We kept it upstairs in our break area."

„No way."

It was the last piece she had finished the day she had been abducted. A wall ornament, with a smooth round edge, and an intricate cherry blossom tree and butterflies carved out into the middle. Slowly, she stroked a finger along the branches.

„You did great work with that one."

Sascha looked up at him with an appreciative smile. „Had a great teacher."

He rolled his eyes with a chuckle. „Come on, let's go."

Back in the car, ornament on her lap, Sascha sent a picture of it and a quick message to Aleyna. After all, she had promised to show it to her.

„Ach scheiße."

„What was that?", Sascha giggled and set her phone down.

„I forgot that it's Sunday - I should've avoided the mall area."

„We have time."

„I don't have patience", Lars chuckled with pretend frustration.

Sascha laughed again and eyed the crowds coming in and out of the mall not far off from the intersection where they were stuck now.

Hm. Crowds…

Her smile slowly slipped, being exchanged with a frown as a thought grew insider her head.

Simultaneously, her phone vibrated beneath her hand. Surely Aleyna wouldn't be awake already, right? It was in the middle of the night in Germany. She quickly moved to check. Ah, it was Alice.

Sascha's frown deepened even more. How was it possible that she didn't even really know herself what exactly had been set off in her brain, and it still prompted a vision for Alice? She scoffed at herself in confusion, but still sent a quick „of course" back to her.

***

„Hey, Sascha, how are you?"

A big smile spread on her face at Alice's bright voice.

„I'm good, thank you", she replied honestly and carefully shut the door to her room, „And you?"

„Busy planning a wedding."

„So, over the moon?"

„Exactly!", Alice swooned, „Listen, is it okay if I get the others and put you on speaker?"

„Oh, am I in that much trouble?", Sascha chuckled and settled down on her bed.

„No, of course not", the eye roll was audible in her voice, „But I do feel like the others should be involved."

„Including-"

„-He's at Bella's."

„Then I don't mind."

The two shared a quick laugh before Alice called out for the others to join her in the living room.

„Okay, you're on speaker now."

„Eyy, Sher, we miss you here!"

Sascha hummed with a smile. „I miss you guys, too."

„How are you doing? How's the situation with your father?", Esme chimed in with a hopeful tone.

„It's going good, actually. Well, you know, considering, but good. I think I ought to write a handbook with all the excuses I have to come up with on the spot."

Esme hummed. „Maybe you should!"

„How are you all?"

„Curious!", Emmett burst out.

„We are good, Sascha, thank you", Carlisle said patiently, a smile evident in his voice, „But I guess we're cutting right to the heart of the matter. What did you see, Alice?"

„I'm not entirely sure myself. It was so short. All I know is that I saw you, Sascha, surrounded by people, and you were really, really stressed. But I don't know because of what, or because of whom. I just thought we should talk about it."

Sascha's eyebrows had shot up in surprise at that. „It's good that you bring it up, actually."

„Did you make any new plans?", Carlisle asked.

„A couple? Thoughts more than plans, really. I think what triggered this vision is that I thought about… I guess I thought about getting into the centre of some crowded areas, like a mall, to desensitise myself more to them. I've never really been among humans like that yet."

„Maybe in your vision, Sascha got recognised by some people", Jasper suggested, „That could've caused her discomfort."

„Maybe", Alice said, Sascha envisioned with a shrug, „I didn't see much of her surroundings. I guess it could've been a mall."

„Possible", Carlisle mused, „And why do you feel that kind of exposure is necessary?"

„My dad suggested today that it would be good for us to return to Germany at some point. One of my biggest worries is the plane ride. I thought going to a crowded place could help test the waters."

„I see."

„You want to leave?"

„Emmett", Sascha chuckled, pouting a little at his tone - he sounded like a hurt puppy, „It's not that I want to leave, but I do want to see my friends again."

„Make them come here- Ouch!"

Sascha covered her mouth with a hand to stifle her laugh as Emmett grumbled about an unnecessary head flick.

„That didn't even hurt you", Rosalie sighed, „And don't pressure her."

„Ah!", Alice perked up, „That explains another thing I saw this morning, though."

„Do tell", Sascha replied and sat up a bit more straight.

„I saw me and Bella discussing the date for the wedding. I was trying to push it backwards for a few weeks, and she wasn't really having it, until I suggested her own birthday as a means to get out of any and all future birthday parties. I'm pretty sure I was trying to make room for you to go to Germany before the wedding."

„Had you already decided on a date?"

„We've been estimating August 13th, but we hadn't set on it yet. Bella's birthday is exactly a month later."

„It certainly would fit with the ideas you and your father currently have", Esme said.

„I agree", Carlisle mused, „I know these visions have unfortunately preempted you from bringing your plans up in your own time. Nevertheless, do you already have a notion of what could feel comfortable to you? Or doable?"

„It's fine. It's good I get to talk to you guys about this, especially the Germany thing. At least you understand exactly what I worry about."

„Absolutely."

„On the one hand I do feel ready to go back to Germany, and I kind of feel the need to go back soon? But staying only for a week, and then flying back here immediately might be too much of a rush", more than anything, Sascha was thinking out loud, „At the same time, I absolutely cannot ask Bella and Edward to postpone their wedding just to make my travels easier."

„And why not?", Alice asked as if this was the most unheard of question.

„I really don't consider myself a important enough to make you guys… accommodate… like this."

„You might not", Jasper said quietly.

„Exactly!", Alice agreed with playful defiance, „You let us worry about that. Like I said, we hadn't settled on a specific day yet anyway."

Sascha felt at loss of words. She really didn't feel like she should let them do that, at the same time she knew it was absolutely no use to convince Alice once she had put her mind to something.

„You guys", Sascha breathed out a chuckle, „At least give Bella a chance to make an honest decision."

She could only hope that Bella would not feel pressured. She should actually agree to whatever plan Alice was already concocting in her brilliant mind. She should reach out to Bella maybe before Alice did. In any case, give her a warning.

Sascha hoped it would all feel more comfortable after it stopped feeling so vague.

„Regardless of how that will play out, I think, if you feel ready to actively get closer to groups of humans, it's wise to do so gradually", Carlisle brought the conversation back to a more constructive topic, „But I suggest you don't do it alone."

Sascha hummed in agreement. She had to give it to him. Carlisle was excellent at mediating.

„Should I come over to Forks? Does Forks even have crowds?"

„Not the ones necessary to prep for an airport or a plane, I'm afraid", Carlisle chuckled.

„We haven't been to Seattle in a while!", Emmett said quickly. It was like he was high on caffeine.

„Yeah, some of you should go", Alice cheered, „You get to help, and I get the peace I need amidst my planning."

What would Sascha give to be actually among them right now. Just observing. The chaos that was following them in their circles had just kept increasing ever since the stress of the newborn-army had been taken care of.

„Would you like that, Sascha?", Carlisle asked.

She shook her head with a laugh and pinched the bridge of her nose. „Of course."

„I'm needed at the hospital, I'm afraid I have to stay here too."

„It's alright, honey, I will take care of the bunch."

„Thanks, love."

Sascha almost melted when she heard a quick peck being pressed against someone's skin.

„Rose, babe, you want to come to?"

„As if I'd let Esme go and handle you guys all on her own", Rosalie stated.

„Am I included in ‚you guys'?", Sascha asked with mirth.

„That remains to be seen."

Sascha was happy to hear a chuckle escape Rosalie.

„Alright", Carlisle said, a soft clap following, „If you want to go to Germany soon, and assuming we will postpone the wedding, how about we, or they, come visit you in two days? We'll discuss the rest when we have a better grasp of the situation."

„Sounds great", Sascha said, feeling bubbly on the inside. Their readiness and their excitement, especially Emmett's and Alice's, was intoxicating.

„Awesome! See you in two days, Sher!"

„I'm looking forward to it", she laughed, „So wait, who's now all coming? Esme, Emmett, Rosalie-"

„-and me", Jasper added calmly.

Sascha grinned happily. „Nice."

„Maybe Bella and Edward", Alice said, then sucked her teeth, „But I'm not sure if they want to mingle."

„Either is fine."

It was a half truth. Sascha would like to see Bella, but- ah, maybe she'd have to start cutting Edward some slack. She should give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe Edward wasn't as bad without the threat of impending doom.

„We will let you know beforehand", Carlisle promised.

„Alright, see you soon then", Sascha said with a smile, „I promise I will come to Forks to see the others before I leave the States."

„I sure hope so!", Alice demanded, followed by a giggle.

„Take care, dear", Esme said, „Give our best to your father."

„I will. Bye, guys."

A chorus of goodbyes, well wishes and see you soons filtered through the speaker before someone ended the call on the other line.

The smile on her face remained.

She really was grateful for the vision. Knowing herself, she would've agonised about what to do on her own. And getting some kind of sign that she probably would be going to Germany soon showed her as well that she felt comfortable with it. There was barely any reluctance coming up at the thought.

She rose from her bed again. She should tell her dad too. He was worrying too much about the wrong things that could overwhelm her. Of course she couldn't tell him what did overwhelm her, but she could take his worry away from the other stuff.

„Hey, Papa?", she called as she came down the stairs.

„Yeah?" He was lounging on the sofa, more papers and a notebook in his lap.

„About going back to Germany", she started and dropped herself on the sofa in the other corner, „I just talked to my friends, the Cullens. Some of them are going to come here and help me get used to being among crowds again. Before I get on a plane."

Lars set his pen down to give her his full attention, eyes widened in shocked surprise. But he was keeping it at bay, only giving her a small nod.

„It's what made me hesitate this morning. I still haven't been among a lot of people, so a plane ride just sounded… really scary. But if I get that under control, I'm honestly all ready to go back to Germany."

Lars swallowed and exhaled slowly. „Is there anything I can do?"

„I've got it handled, don't worry. Besides", she nodded in the direction of his paperwork, „You are already doing a lot over there."

He searched her eyes for a moment longer. Sascha gave him a tiny nod which she hoped to be soothing whatever storm was going on in his head. It seemed to be enough, as he sighed and then looked at his papers again.

„Well, you're not wrong", he conceded, „But I think I found a way to bridge our remaining time here, however long it may be."

„Lay it on me."

***

„They're coming", Sascha turned her screen toward Lars with a smile, feeling giddy, and immediately moved to the door.

„That was too fast for me to see!", Lars mock complained back in the kitchen.

She only laughed, checked her phone one more time, seeing the dot of their location-sharing take the last turn, and opened the front door to wait outside on the front lawn. Her smile got even bigger the moment she saw the two cars tailing behind each other. Leading, Esme driving with Jasper in a black mercedes, and following behind a red, two seater convertible with Rosalie at the wheel and Emmett standing in his seat, waving his hands wildly in the air.

Sascha closed her eyes with a laugh and a shake of her head, and waved back.

„You know a car is made for sitting in it, right?", she called as they pulled in to park in front of the house.

„But where is the fun in that, huh?", Emmett replied and jumped out the car, rushing forward to envelope Sascha in a bone crushing hug - literally - making her squeal as he lifted her off the ground.

„Emmett", Rosalie warned and shut the door to her car, as Jasper and Esme also got out of theirs, „Leave her in one piece, will you?"

He sat Sascha back down, releasing her with a bright, big smile on his face. „Sher can handle it."

„Sure", Sascha said with an amused scoff and gave Rosalie a quick hug, before turning to give Esme one as well.

Emmett stared bickering with Rosalie behind Sascha, an affectionate tone filled his voice, as she turned to Jasper who was waiting patiently with his hands clasped behind his back.

„Long time no see", she said with a smile and greeted him with a hug as well.

„Not so long", he gave her a soft squeeze before leaning back again and whispered with a smirk, „Surprisingly still long enough to somehow grow a bit bored with this lot."

Sascha hid a laugh behind her hand, shaking her head a little, as she turned around again, keeping a hand rested on Jasper's shoulder. Facing the house again, she saw Lars appear in the front door.

„Hey there Mr. Miller!", Emmett called out excitedly.

Sascha hung back with Jasper, amused at the scene in front of her. Rosalie keeping her arm as a vice locked around Emmett's, making it look like she was casually keeping them linked, but really just wanting to keep him from completely overwhelming Sascha's poor father. Lars still being quite surprised by the energy, only having met the calmer side of the Cullens so far. Esme keeping a gentleness around her at least, offering her hand (covered in a nice day glove) as a greeting, which Lars of course accepted, going for his usual introduction sentence to ask them all to call him Lars instead of Mr. Miller.

„Should I do something about his nerves?", Jasper asked in a hushed tone, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Sascha shook her head with a smile. „He'll be fine."

„We are going to make sure she's fine the entire time", Esme promised after briefly informing Lars of their plan for the coming week.

Lars looked over to Sascha, his brows pulled up in worry, so she gave him a reassuring nod. He bit the inside of his cheek, but shrugged his shoulders nonetheless. „Thank you for your help."

„It's our pleasure!", Emmett said. Even with his back turned to her, Sascha could practically see his brilliant smile. „Okay let's go!"

Sascha immediately turned to move to get into the car, as did the others, when-

„Sascha?"

„Yeah?", she turned back to Lars.

„How about you put on some shoes?"

Chapter Text

Hey guys~

I felt like I needed to let you all know about a couple of „technical" things before we inevitably dive on into the rest of the story. It's on it's way. I promise.

1) Languages

As we all know, Sascha is German. And I've been thinking back and forth how to deal with the language once she's back in Germany and interacts with her friends and family there. Because obviously, they would speak German with each other, but I really don't think it is in any shape or form convenient for you guys, if I write the dialogues in German and then the English translation in brackets behind each sentence - that would be stupid.

SO

I will just do a disclaimer right here and now. If there are no English speaking people within the scene, even if it's written in English, the characters areactuallyspeaking German with each other. If not, I will make it clear.

Likewise, if there is a scene where English speaking people are present, and everyone is actually speaking English with each other. But two German speaking people then suddenly switch to German, so that others don't understand. At the same time though, sometimes I - the author - still might want you - the readers - to understand what is being said. In such a case I will make it obvious too (maybe I will put reminders in the top notes, just in case).

Basically what I'm imagining for these scenes is similar to movie scenes with subtitles added for the specific moments, where two characters start speaking in a different language, and the confusion is just meant for certain characters specifically, while the audience is supposed to understand.

My best idea right now would be to just put the entire sentence in italics or in a different colour, to mark that this is the meaning, but in the book reality, it was spoken in a different language.

Like this:

„Don't talk to me like that!" → written for all of you in english, but in for our characters spoken and heard in german

Alternatively, this could work:

„Red nicht so mit mir!" (Don't talk to me like that)

But then we have the problem of a bad reading flow, which I don't want to subject you guys to. But maybe some of you would also be curious to read German to immerse more into the scene? If you have any thoughts, preferences, or ideas for this one, let me know. If I don't get much feedback on this or I come up with another outstanding idea, I think I'll just stick to the italics/different colour version.

Additionally, for characters like Lars, who started learning/speaking English later in life, I will ever so often add some grammar mistakes, when they're talking to other English speakers. At the same time, you will not see any of these mistakes when they speak with German speakers.

The reason being: when they speak with English speakers, they areactuallyspeaking English, and might struggle since it's not their native language.

Whereas, when they speak with German speakers, even if the dialogue is written in English, remember, they are actually speaking German - so no grammatical errors would happen there.

I know so far I've sprinkled some German words here and there, and it made sense for the situations where it's only Sascha interacting with the Cullens (or generally, people who don't understand German) for her to maybe curse/exclaim in her native language (and it was always simple enough that it could still be understood in context)

But this context stops making sense the moment German speakers start interacting with each other - I noticed this while building scenes between Sascha and Lars, and it just doesn't flow the same.

2) Our girl: Sascha

I realise I never gave a really detailed description of Sascha's appearance. That was somewhat intentional, as I wanted to leave some parts to imagination, and I also didn't want to dive in with a long winded description of her appearance.
I did upload this one drawing I made for her, which captured quite a good vibe for how I imagined her face and hair. But I've never uploaded a full body drawing of her in relation to others. I only ever mentioned that she is tall. But now I kinda want to let you guys know how tall exactly I'm imagining her hahah

For reference, all the other characters, like the Cullens, Jacob etc, are all completely imagined and modelled after the appearances of the actors & actresses. Including height - with the singular exception for Taylor Lautner, who you could imagine to be a bit taller than his irl 1,74m/5'7.

Sascha, in my imagination, is 1,80m-ish/5'9-ish.
Also, I kinda always imagine her with shoulder length, light brown-ish hair, which she wears half up, half down, with a curtain bangs-ish kinda cut in the front. Possibly also rather a wolf cut-ish. (ish ish ish lol) Something like that anyway.

3) Book to Movie adaption changes

I realise I also never specified this, but when it comes to the timeline of things, I am more oriented toward the movie adaptions, than what happens in the book. While the 3rd book is set during 2006, the movie is set during 2010, which is the same for my fanfic.

I know it's not an important detail, but I wanted to mention it nonetheless.

This year-juggling also made me realise another thing, that could've potentially been confusing for those who pay very close attention: Sascha's age.

In the second chapter, Sascha is asked the age she will be frozen at for ever, which she replies to with „22". However, that is just quick thinking on her part, since she realises, her birthday passedaftershe had been turned. So, while she meets the Cullens for the first time, she already technically turned 23, her body is physically frozen at 22.

So, during the events that come to pass in the year of Breaking Dawn, she will turn 24.

4) Final Thoughts:

This is just to get some things out of the way and to give all of you a sign of life and to tell you: this story is in no shape or form abandoned. The text file on my laptop is already 20k words larger than the story I've posted so far, and don't get me started on the 43 page file I have in my goodnotes, each page ENTIRELY covered to jot down any and all things I already know are going to happen, character sheets, time lines, scene snippets etc … (a skill tree… *wink wink*)

Okay, on two of those pages 👉🏼👈🏼 I just saved your lovely comments and reviews on those. To keep me motivated. It really means so much more to me than I could ever adequately express. Look at me being sentimental.

Either way, to put it into proportion: the chapters I've posted so far…. might very well only be about 10-15 pages of that note file.
And I promised to myself, even IF for some god unknown reason I wasn't going to finish writing this project (which is so dear to me, so don't worry, I WILL finish it) but even if, I'd still give you that note file so you'd at least know what would happen and not be left with an unfinished piece of noting.

I've been there… I know the pain.

Okay. That's it for now! I won't chew your... eyes off even more. I'm already sorry enough to those who have notifications turned on… only to be notified for an author's note update. I see you guys. I'm soooorrryyyyy.

And again, like I said in the beginning, the next chapter is on its way - I'm at about 6-7k words right now, but I think that might really be only half of the eventual word count for that chapter. For professionals it might constitute as a filler chapter, BUT, I am not a professional and I kind of consider Chapter 28 „Picking Up the Pieces", Chapter 30 and Chapter 31 as a sort of three chapter bridge to transition between the big guns of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. So, as far as fillers go, I do hope you'll enjoy the ride. I've got some things coming in chapter 30 that I've been looking forward to for a loooong long time.

I'll really stop yapping now.

See you in the next chapter! Happy holidays to any and all who celebrate during this time of year.

To those who might have to spend it in unwell company, or unwillingly alone, or in a place where they'd much rather not be: I see you 💜 hang in there.

I wish you all nothing but the best and a time and future of content, health and security.

Chapter Text

A Taste Of Normal

Sascha POV

Being among people was nice.

On the inside, she felt her own Past-Sascha whip her head around at her in shock at that sentiment. In what scenario would people ever be better than her sofa and whatever she could do from that place? Better than being a couch potato?

She definitely had not converted into an explosive extrovert, of course not. And still, Sascha found herself relishing in the fact that for the first time - in what not only felt like ages - she was able to just stroll around and not worry about being in hiding, hunted, questioned or observed.

Just a stroll. Around a park- no, not just a park! Botanical gardens even. With friends.

It had been a good start on her journey to exposure to humans. Of course, she had already tackled more challenging areas like the police station with small offices and sweaty people kept in custody. But the plan was to start from scratch, with open spaces and relaxed scenarios.

The sun had obediently stayed behind a curtain of clouds all day, and it didn't look like it was going to break up any time soon. It both had given them all the opportunity to stay outside comfortably, while also not too many people crowding the park alongside them.

A mundane sense of normalcy daring to creep back again. Surely she would grow very tired of people very quick. But for now, it was nice-

„Whoa!", Sascha gasped as a flower was shoved into her face. Her eyes quickly trailed up the hand and arm that was holding it, rolling her eyes with a fond smile at Emmett's blinding grin.

„For the lady."

„Why, thank you", Sascha dramatically picked it up by its short stem.

Emmett grinned even wider, flamboyantly, albeit a bit softer, offering one for Esme, to his left, and lastly turning to Rosalie who was walking between him and Sascha.

„And one for you, babe."

Sascha smiled fondly at the warm tone in Emmett's voice as he carefully tugged the last flower behind Rosalie's ear, mindful not to mess with her hair. She felt like she was about to melt, when Emmett then pressed a feather light kiss to Rosalie's temple. Sascha had to bite the inside of her cheek, to not let a coo, or worse a squeal, escape her. These two would be the death of her.

As a momentary distraction, she inspected the pretty flower Emmett had obviously stolen from one of the many many bushes around them and twirled it between her fingers. Admiring how the thin layer of dew sparkled around the edges of the petals. She hummed at a thought.

„What are these called in English?"

„Azalea, I believe", Esme mused, „Part of the rhododendron species."

Sascha blew some air through her nose in a laugh. „Oh wow - I didn't know it was that ridiculously close to German."

„Thanks to the Latins", Emmett chuckled.

„The Greeks, actually", Jasper and Sascha said in unison. The latter snapped her head to her right with a gasp, fixing him with wide eyes and raised brows. A second of silence, then they shared a surprised laugh.

„Well, in this case, anyway", she clarified, making Jasper smirk just a little more.

„Ooh, looks like Sherlock is getting competition."

Sascha snorted out a laugh. „A competition you put me on a pedestal for, might I add."

„Since you seem to know everything, I was well within in my right."

„Ey, I do not know everything", she made a point to shake her head dramatically, still smiling, „And, hadn't you placed me there based on my ‚logic'? And not knowledge?"

„Ah!", Emmett waved her off, draping an arm over Rosalie's shoulder as he leaned forward a little, „Same difference."

Sascha playfully pinched the bridge of her nose. „Unbelievable."

„I'd bet you even know what rhododendron means in Latin- or Greek or whatever."

„I don't." She did. Rhodon - rose. Dendron - tree. She'd looked it up randomly before.

Jasper hiding a chuckle behind his hand showed her he caught on to her little act.

She shot him a glance to the side with a smirk. „Of course I don't. I didn't even know the name of the flower."

„You didn't know it in English, specifically!"

„What is it called in German?", Rosalie finally chimed in. She had been quiet for most of the time, but she seemed to be enjoying herself.

„Azalee."

„See?!"

***

„Those", Sascha gasped out, alerting the others, „were a lot of smells."

Esme, who she had appeared next to, immediately turned to her with a whispered ‚there you are, dear' as she smoothed a hand over Sascha's back with a smile.

Emmett eyed the flower shop that Sascha and Rosalie had just come back from. „Why did you even insist on going in there?" Had the distaste not already been obvious in his tone, one look at his face would definitely send the message. He wrinkled his nose when another group of people scurried out of the over crowded shop.

„Well, seeking out crowds is my main agenda for the coming weeks, innit. That was… a crowd."

„As long as you don't overdo it", Jasper murmured, one arm lifted from their previously crossed position to worry his chin with his hand.

It hadn't escaped Sascha's attention that he had been the only one to watch her every move, not taking his eyes off her the moment she and Rosalie had stepped back out from the bustling shop.

„It was barely a challenge for her, really", Rosalie pointed out and turned to look at Sascha, „You seemed more bothered by the people on a social level."

It did little to ease Jasper's tension.

Sascha snorted out a laugh. „Just this morning when I thought I had missed people, they remind me so quick why I actually never crave their company."

„Either way it seems you were successful not just with the people?", Esme said with a nod toward the paper bag Sascha was carrying.

„I was!", she carefully lifted a small flower pot out of the bag, „For my landlady. She was a huge help to my dad when I wasn't here. We're going to clear out my apartment sometime this or next week, and I just wanted to bring her at least a little something."

She had chosen a small, yet intricately bound bouquet made from dried flowers. Something that would last longer than a traditional bouquet. Something, if you really wanted that stretch of thought, undead and preserved to last way longer than its normal life span. Sascha would be lying if she'd said it didn't make her feel a bit cheeky on the inside.

„You're going to give up your apartment?" Jasper gave her a surprised look as they all started to head toward the park's exist, him falling into step next to Sascha.

„Yeah", she sighed and busied her hands with putting the flowers back into the bag, „I mean, we were considering to keep renting it, or rather that I keep renting, but it really doesn't make any sense to. My dad is planning to return to Germany for good and I have to figure out what I'm going to do with my", she almost stumbled over her own voice, covering it with a deep inhale, „life, I guess? An empty, money eating apartment is not really beneficial there."

„That seems like a reasonable step to take", Esme offered, while the others made some noises of agreement, albeit mostly halfheartedly.

„We're good at reasonable", Sascha tried to joke, when an actual laugh bubbled up inside of her, „Actually, you guys should see the spreadsheet my dad prepared."

„Spreadsheet?" Emmett shot her quizzical look. He jogged a few steps ahead to hold open the swinging gate of one of the side exits for the others to step through.

„Yeah, spreadsheet", Sascha pinched the bridge of her nose with a smile, „He made this whole elaborate plan of how to wrap up everything nicely here. Even with different plan B's or variations should something not go according to plan. It's impressive. Don't know if this has anything to do with being reasonable anymore, though."

„I'm starting to see where you got it from, Sher."

„Got what?"

„Well, it."

„What plans exactly, then?", Jasper quickly interjected.

Sascha had to admit she was a bit surprised by his tone. It would've sounded relaxed, possibly amused even, hadn't it been for the tiniest of edges at the end of it. She couldn't even sort what kind. Impatience? Stress? Worry? Maybe being amongst people was taking a toll on him. It was about testing her ability to withstand the smell of blood. What if it was proving to be harmful to him?

„Ah well", she did her best to swallow down these thoughts for the moment, „The main thing he focussed on was finding a way out of his current renting contract. Under normal circumstances it would still go for another 7 months, even if he gave a notice right now that he'd be terminating it. His landlord agreed to let him out sooner, if we do some renovation work for him on the roof and attic. And if my dad accepts to not get his security deposit back."

There was a moment of silence as everyone was looking for a way to respond.

„Not to overstep", Rosalie spoke up first, „But that sounds more like your landlord is scamming your dad, than anything else."

Sascha shrugged a bit helplessly. „It all comes down to rotten timing, really. My dad had just renewed the renting contract for another 12 months not long before I had reached out to him that very first time after I found you guys. At that time he was actually looking for ways to save money by finding somewhere cheaper to rent, and his landlord had… offered to lower his rent a bit, under the condition that my dad would rent it for another year and not month for month. My dad would've preferred to find a smaller place to live, but this ‚offer' really gave him a lot of time pressure on top of everything else. And then he just took that - he didn't know when I'd be back." Sascha sighed heavily. Speaking about all of this, rather than listening to it, really doubled down on the ‚having been scammed' feeling. She crossed her arms as a means to try and compose the rising disgust inside her at the biting suspicion that this piece of s- this landlord might've really taken advantage of her dad's more than vulnerable situation. „My dad would've tried to find a way out of the contract by now either way, with me back or not, to still find somewhere cheaper to rent. It would've meant a loss of money anyw- ah it's just a bit messed up."

She decided to cut off her rambles there. It was complicated enough already and way easier to follow when her dad had explained it all to her.

The others nodded quietly, seemingly processing her words. They had reached the cars by then. But instead of getting in the cars, or talking about where to go next, they all lingered for a few beats.

Emmett leaned his arms on the roof of Esme's car, head tilted to the side. „Is there really no other way?"

„We thought of other possibilities, but this is the one that fits best. The lesser evil, if you will. We don't mind putting in the time to renovate, really. Most of the time it can be a lot of fun for us. The rest is just… unfortunate circumstances that we just accepted. Or rather he accepted."

Sascha didn't know what to do with the mood that this information created. She didn't particularly enjoy any of this either. On one hand she was frustrated with her dad's landlord for not showing at least a bit of the compassion her landlady had. Rather having done the opposite. Then again… he was technically within his rights. And then on the other, even more biting hand, she couldn't completely fight off the voice that told her that it was also her fault. Technically, she could've come back sooner. She could've chosen to not listen to the Cullens. Even though that thought had already felt wrong back then (that time when it hadn't been suggested by Edward, of course) and it felt even more wrong after seeing it all through.

It was still shit though. No nice way around it.

„Well, then at least", Jasper started, fighting off a sigh as a frown tugged on his brows, „How about we help the two of you?"

Emmett immediately perked up at that, shooting into an upright position. „Oh yeah! That could be fun!"

„Really?", Sascha laughed, „Are you sure?"

„I can swing a hammer, no problem."

„Kinda what I'm worried about, Emmett."

He gave her an exaggerated pout. „What if I promise to be extra careful?"

Sascha searched the other's faces, all of them looking at her rather expectantly. A tad too serious for her liking. All of this didn't seem like too big of a deal to her. „If you guys really want to join in on the grimy sweat of carpentry and renovation work?", she let a smile spread on her face, „Could actually be a lot of fun."

„Hell yeah!" Before Emmett could slam his hands down on the car in excitement, Rosalie quickly grabbed him away from it instead.

„Calm down", she laughed affectionately.

Emmett sighed over dramatically. „You guys never let me have any fun. Sher, on the other hand", he playfully wound himself away from Rosalie before he came around the car to whisk Sascha to his side, arm around her shoulder, but more a wrestle than anything else, „at least sees my potential."

Sascha snorted out a laugh. „Sure, bro."

„And you stop scowling, bro", Emmett had turned to Jasper, who was still standing quietly to Sascha's right, and gave him a light punch to the shoulder, „You'll find something to feel useful again."

Jasper tilted his head, irritated, frown deepening just slightly.

„Emmett", Esme finally raised her voice, smiling, but firm, „Get in the car. This is not Emmett-Day."

„Like I said", he whispered to Sascha with a grumble before releasing her, „No fun." He did follow as he was asked though, pressing a kiss to Rosalie's cheek when he passed her, and the both of them got in her car.

With a sigh, though still smiling, Esme grabbed her car keys from her purse. „Should we get going?"

Sascha nodded. „Yeah, let's go."
As Esme got in the driver's seat, Sascha was about to get in on the back row, when Jasper softly grabbed her by the arm.

„You can drive in the front, I'll take the back seat."

Sascha's eyes flitted from the door, to him for a second. There wasn't much to read on his face. Not unusual, but still… She took a small step closer. „Are you okay, Jasper?", she made sure to keep her voice as low as possible, hoping none of the others would hear.

Jasper nodded quickly, the corner of his mouth lifting the tiniest bit. „Don't worry, I'm just… a bit lost in thought, nothing more."

Sascha narrowed her eyes at him a little, searching his eyes for any kind of sign that he wasn't being honest.

He squeezed her arm softly. „I promise", he whispered.

Sascha hummed then. „Okay, just don't get too lost in there."

Jasper breathed out a short laugh through his nose. „Get in the car."

„Okay, okay."

The prospect of a shared project did seem to lift everyone's spirits. Quite a lot, actually. Esme, after making sure it was okay to to begin with, asked whether Sascha and Lars already had plans for the attic. And if so, which. And considering what kind of questions she was asking, it was more than clear that Esme also knew what she was talking about. It didn't come as a surprise to Sascha though. After all, Esme had mentioned her own renovating projects here and there. Sascha had always been under the impression that whenever the Cullens moved houses, it had been her who set up the new place. Or at least set up a plan for others to fulfil.

It was nice to get her input. It made Sascha more excited, a tingle in her hands spreading through her body to her chest in a way that made her want to bounce in her seat almost. She had missed this. Looking forward to something. To something nice. Something easy.

The mood from before was all but forgotten. Sascha rambling about her own little ideas for „unnecessary" details, which Esme insisted were not unnecessary, seemed to also get Jasper out of his own little mood slump. If the air in the car losing its tension was anything to go by at least.

And she was happy to notice whenever she did lean back in to look at him to answer one of his questions, at least he was smiling.

The drive to the hotel where the Cullens would be staying took a bit longer than expected. Then again, Sascha hadn't asked where they were going to stay either. So she shouldn't have had expectations to begin with.

Either way, her mouth did fall open when the hotel finally came in sight. Glamorous wasn't even enough to try and begin to describe it. When they pulled in in front of the building, the doors were opened for them, the car keys taken and cars parked for them whilst the entrance door was already held open. Staff in fancy suits and white gloves, crystal chandeliers hanging from the lobby's high ceilings, sparkling in a way that could put a vampire's skin in sunlight to shame, really.

Sascha pressed her lips tightly together to not keep gaping like a fish. She turned to look at Jasper, tilting her head a little when he was already looking at her with an amused smile.

„I beg your finest pardon?"

„Rosalie chose it."

„I didn't even know this hotel existed… How have I been living in Seattle for a year and didn't know this existed?"

„Wait until you see the library."

„Library?!", Sascha nearly hissed, grabbing onto his arm, „Where?"

Jasper chuckled. „It was the plan for tomorrow actually."

„Well, we can stay there until tomorrow", Sascha lifted her gaze again, taking everything in once more, all the shine and brilliance practically casting her under its spell, almost absentmindedly she added, „I don't mind."

She had seen crystal before. She had seen marble before. Silvers, golds, for a lack of a better word, all kinds of sparkly things… But not since she had turned… And it quite literally took her breath away. The beauty of it all. It almost pained her that she could only look at it.

Nature had already given her so much joy in the way it had unfolded itself anew for her eyes. Once she had gotten used to it, that is. It had almost seemed artificial at first. The… organic-ness of it all had taken a while to come back to her. But once it had - there were few words to describe its beauty. And even those seemed scarcely enough.

And moments like that, were crystal caught in the light just right… it reminded her she really ought to look even closer at the things around her. Observe more of the worlds visual cues that had been kept hidden from her eyes before.

***

Jasper POV

Jasper stood there, smiling quietly to himself as he watched Sascha take in her surroundings. The others were proceeding with checking into their rooms first. He could take a minute or two.

Sascha seemed to not have noticed she had just stopped walking as they had passed the decorative marble pillars lining the sides of the lobby. Currently trailing one of her fingers across the gold detailing in the marble pattern.

He did find fascination in the way that Sascha perceived the things around her. Especially when something was able to catch her eye. Moments like that one, however, when she was truly and completely captivated by something, were rare. A precious thing, really.

Jasper wondered what else would be able to render her as such. Captivated.

It was truly-

„So I chose the hotel, huh?"

„You could have."

„Well, you seemed to have been right, at least."
„I often am."

Rosalie only hummed, still standing behind him, and he really didn't need to turn around. He could hear the smile she was definitely not going to show him on the outside.

„Anyway, they need your ID for your room."

Some moments just didn't last long enough. But he was not going to give Rosalie any more things to comment on, and swiftly turned around to head to the reception counter.

There wasn't anything to comment on to begin with.

***

Sascha POV

The last time Sascha had had that much fun in such a short span of time must have surely been ages ago. When she had still been in Germany, at the very least. With her friends back there.

And now with her new… friends in Seattle. It brought back exactly that feeling of belonging and carefree-ness that she had been missing. Though - and maybe it was their shared trauma bonding speaking - „friends" almost seemed like too weak a word. Having quite literally prepared for battle together (you know, the usual) didn't that need a new title other than „friends"?

In any case, she would bet all that she was, that if it had been anyone else, she wouldn't be able to enjoy anything about the situation she was in after all was said and done.

Who else other than Emmett could make light of the most morbid situations? Knowing that he was actually just a big overexcited teddy bear on the inside made it so easy, so fun to open up to that side, knowing it would be accepted as well.

Who else other than Rosalie could make her feel so seen in her annoyance toward the stupidity exuded by some? It felt relieving to know that Rosalie would never think her arrogant for it. Of course none of the others would either, but Rosalie was so careful with what energies she used on what and for who, she just understood differently. Although, of course, Rosalie carried it way more elegantly than Sascha ever could.

Sascha also felt it hard to believe that there were many other people who she could rely on for direction and never feel lead by like she could with Esme. Often in tandem with Carlisle. Which could, with the wrong kind of people, feel even more controlling and threatening. With them it felt natural.

Any other person with Alice tendencies could also easily come off as controlling, too. With her seeing the future and sometimes over excitedly shaping the present in its image. But there were few people actually like Alice who did so with such care and for the most part joy that it really only could be received as comfort.

And then Jasper. The one who proclaimed himself the one with the least control, the most issues and most experience in how to use it all in unspeakable ways, and still he spoke of it. Owned up to it. It often felt like, for all his fears of losing control, he was rather giving it into the hands of someone else. Not in a way that gave the impression that he was running from responsibility. Rather in a way that said „here's all I know, I trust you know what to do with it". It displayed a sense of safety that Sascha couldn't remember if she'd ever experienced it before.

Edward really was the odd one out. The one with the actual control problem. But even there - and Sascha would do well to not think that particular thought out loud for him ever - it still needed the right kind of person you could consider an asshole and still know they'd never be a threat to you. Not because they couldn't physically be one, but because it wouldn't even cross their mind.

When it came down to it, each of them had all of the tools to be, in fact, the most controlling and manipulative people imaginable. Each in their own diabolical way. And instead they found ways to utilise it all in the most productive and least destructive way possible. (Again… with Edward being the odd one out at times - at least still not with ill intent.)

They knew how to make it all work together. Sometimes butting heads, but at the end of the day pulling through. And making sure that Sascha had a seat at the table, despite her position, despite her having been a stranger to them the majority of the time.

And still, even now in these mundane daily life situations, they really were quite good at making plans together. Shouldn't have come as a surprise. Again, they had survived an army attack together with said plan making skills. Though, battle strategics and daily life planning were fundamentally diff- on second thought. Maybe they weren't so different after all.

Stick together, don't let anyone get in your blind spot, save and preserve your energy for the right moments, grocery shopping in and of itself… Yeah. Not so much different. (Morbid indeed, and obviously not the same at all - but where would she be if she didn't preserve her own mind by such coping measures, really?)

But - grocery shopping. A straight up taxing task on a good day. On a bad day? Well… It had been a rather interesting idea of Esme's. And it had proven itself a good practice for acclimatisation. Not just some activity to be enjoyed that would make it easy to ignore any issues of bloodlust that could arise. Rather, it was the combination of people and controlling one's own temper that made this outing useful. Tedious, but useful. Definitely had shown Sascha some points she had to watch out for in the future. Being stressed and annoyed made it all the more difficult to focus on even something as simple as strength control. She'd felt quite drained after. It should've been a warning sign that Esme had been the only one relaxed even before they took the first step inside. Oh well. At least Lars wouldn't have to go to the grocery store again before they'd fly back to Germany.

She had definitely learned from it, but going out to a nice café once a day, each time adjusting when they'd go so crowd size would increase gradually, was infinitely more enjoyable. Albeit, also with its challenges, of course. The sensory input was piling up, no matter how nice the activities were in between.

Spending most days together as a group of five, once back at the hotel, the others would often split up to their own rooms in the evening, Jasper and her often keeping each other company. The library, which had already captured Sascha's heart the first day the Cullens had arrived, was a nice point of refuge after each day. It was a good place to settle down and ground herself again.

So naturally, it often came down to either a nice corner there, or back to Jasper's own room to let the day pass from night to morning again.

Time spent together while each going after their own preference of keeping occupied had always been Sascha's favourite way to spend time. Not just pass it, but actually spend it. And Jasper was exceptionally good at it as well.

Even for the occasional chess game, and of course some long talks in between, they'd also fall into comfortable silence, each doing their own things. Sascha found herself more often than not jotting down some ideas for the renovations, or even to write down her musings of recent and past events. Somehow relieved, she noticed rather quickly, that finally she felt motivated to write down important memories from before she had turned, like Esme had urged her to once. Sascha had tried multiple times since then and it had always ended with frustration and crumbled pages tossed into the bin. Not anymore though.

The soft sound of Jasper turning page after page reading did help too. It was quite relaxing. His entire presence was, really.

Sascha joined them back to their hotel most days, usually not going back home for the nights. While they did make time to pay visits to Lars' house, it was a nice break for Sascha to not be confined to utter silence until daybreak.

During these visits, it was nice to see her Dad relax into the company of the Cullens. Oddly important to her as she noticed with each moment they had all spent time together. They'd use most of their visits during their first few days to fill the Cullens in on the renovation plan - after Lars was convinced to accept their help and that it wouldn't be a burden to them.

„I told you it's obvious where you got it from", Emmett had snickered to Sascha after, earning him a quick elbow jab to the ribs.

It lifted her spirits to be in her element again after such a long time and taking the others along with her. Preparing the attic for renovation, planning the item and tools list, throwing out official carpentry jargon - it made her giddy in the most mirthful of ways.

She had been worried in the very beginning, when them all working together was brought up the first time, that it might be tense or awkward, especially if the situation arose where they'd have to group up and her dad had to split off with someone else, without Sascha. Not that her dad was bad at socialising, but she was convinced her own dislike - or rather discomfort - with mingling with new people was in big parts inherited from him.

So, Sascha found herself all the more surprised when it was in fact Lars himself who suggested them splitting tasks. And even brought it up in English, even though he didn't feel the most comfortable speaking it in front of new people. Least of all native speakers.

His idea: one group stays back at the house and keep prepping, the other drives to the home improvement store to collect the order he had placed there a couple days earlier.

As soon as the words had left Lars' mouth, Sascha dashed over to the counter and snatched the car keys, holding them up in the air. „I call order pick up!"

Emmett's hand shot up as well. „I call shotgun!"

Sascha grinned and nodded excitedly at him.

They then looked back at the others, probably resembling two hyper-active meerkats.

„Well", Lars chuckled, a bit surprised, „I think it would be good if you go in a three group. Some things could be hard to carry with only two."

Sascha craned her neck to the side to look over to Jasper with a smile, eyebrows raised in a nonverbal question. He was standing at the other end of the counter, arms crossed and shoulders tensed.

„It'll be rather empty at this time", Sascha assured, „It's still early enough."

He inhaled deeply, likely mulling her few words over in his head, until finally, he uncrossed his arms. „Alright", he said with the tiniest of smiles pulling at one corner of his mouth.

„Nice!", Emmett clapped his hands one time, rubbing them together with a grin „Let's go."

Sascha resisted the urge to immediately dash toward the door, and turned to Lars. „That alright with you, too, Papa?", she asked in German, wanting to make sure.

He chuckled. „Completely fine with me."

Sascha giggled - although it was a bit more on the side of a cackle, really - and it was enough translation for the others.

„Alright, then let's go", Emmett urged again, already heading toward the front door.

Sascha looped her arm through Jasper's and pulled him along side with her, catching up with Emmett just out the door, where she sped ahead on her own, throwing herself into the driver's seat.

With it being a VW sprinter, and a three row seat in the front, she waited with a giggle just about to bubble up inside her, as Emmett and Jasper wrestled each other for who'd get in first. Emmett, just thanks to his sheer width, came out victorious and sat proudly in the middle, ignoring that it was actually not big enough for him.

„Seatbelts, guys", Sascha demanded with a laugh as she turned on the engine, and backed out the driveway.

***

It turned out, using her brain and craft again in a way that it finally took up hours at time once more, was exactly the kind of outlet she had needed. While her small carving projects had done her plenty good mentally, it didn't really manage to keep her busy. After having overcome the strength issue, it barely took any time of her already longer, never ending days. However, tearing out old carpet and wainscotting, amongst other work, already knowing what was going to replace those… She found herself not thinking at all, at moments forgetting even, about - everything.

Sascha hummed, a content smile on her face, as she took her time walking along the pavement. The balancing effect it had on her mood, downright sobering her entire disposition, gave her the confidence to try to go out in public on her own for the first time. The hunts out alone didn't count in her opinion - it had always been at the dead of night, with no people, and a complete different distraction.

So, when she'd brought it up, the others had deemed her confidence placed correctly and agreed to let her try. She had her phone with her, live location shared with them, and she had a time limit when Esme and Jasper would eventually meet up with her.

And so there she was, enjoying another piece of normalcy - if she ignored the slight blur by her coloured contacts - on her way to her old apartment.

Sascha had left her landlady, Mrs Greene, a short message on her answer phone that same evening, to announce her coming over in the late morning, since she really did not want to give that poor lady a heart attack. So, the moment that her landlady's house came into view and Sascha was sure she herself could be spotted from those big windows, she heard an excited gasp from inside the house which she might have even heard with human ears. Sascha guessed that sweet woman had been waiting at the ready ever since the sun had come up.

Mrs Greene immediately came rushing out the front door. Well, rushing to the extent that her knees in her age allowed her, hands fluttering and flying around.

„Oh dear! Oh my dear", she kept cooing and gasping, all but on the edge of tears.

With a laugh, Sascha picked up her pace then, making sure to meet her before Mrs Greene had a chance to put a foot on the street. No need to make her walk more than necessary. Of course Sascha was then immediately whisked away into her landlady's apartment. The soft smell of steamed dough hugged her welcome.

Luckily, with her landlady never having been the most touchy person, rather one that would quite literally flutter around you, hands ghosting over cheeks but never quite touching, Sascha didn't have to focus on physical distance management. The challenge was really to fend off all the offerings of food, treats, drinks, because ‚sweet girl, you really should eat more' and ‚it's the perfect time for cakes'.

Sascha bought herself a moment's distraction by giving Mrs Greene the small gift she'd gotten her the week before. She grinned happily at the woman's delight and praise for having picked nice, lucky colours, and watched with quiet fondness as a vase and spot were found for the dried flowers.

It was then, that Sascha felt sure enough everything should be fine with her alone with another human and sent a quick message to the others to ease their minds. They'd come an hour later anyway, but with worry an hour could feel excruciatingly long.

Not wanting to be rude, Sascha did wait however with immediately storming up to her own apartment. The way that Mrs Greene would hesitate before saying or asking basically anything after she had calmed herself a little was enough of an indicator for Sascha to give her some ease for her mind as well.

So, she offered up some information, without making the woman even ask whatever bad thoughts were most likely cooking around in her head. Telling her an even more buttered version than her grandparents had gotten from her. It would do neither of them any good to know the darker details from the „truth" Sascha had told her dad or the police for example. For their sake, she made sure to double down that, for now, her biggest problems were only sleep and nightmares. Any parts of malnourishment or beatings erased.

Sascha observed her old landlady for a moment, a pang in her chest when she realised that her hair really was more white than black now. Before, it had still been the opposite.

Mrs Greene had her hands folded on the kitchen table they were sitting at, eyes averted and lips tight despite the soft version of the story she was being told. Of course she would have trouble believing it all. That it really had been only an abduction and nothing more - with all the dead bodies that had turned up at the time? Unlikely. Sascha hoped Mrs Greene would find it in herself to want to believe this mellow version of it all.

Finally, Mrs Greene lifted one hand to pat Sascha's forearm affectionately, her fingers trembling the slightest bit. „It's good to see you back, sweet girl."

Not long after, Sascha excused herself and went up the two flight of stairs to her apartment above, the familiar jingle of her key chains bringing a pleasant chill to her spine. Oh, how long she hadn't heard that sound. When she had put them in her pocket earlier that day, she was sure it would've given her goosebumps if that were still possible.

Though she was eager to enter, it took her a few moments to actually turn the key in the lock, and then a few more to finally push open the door.

It'd been so long. With a start, it didn't feel giddily exciting anymore. A pit opened in her stomach. But before it could get too big, she stepped through the door and closed it behind her.

Sascha took a deep breath. Unlike her working station at the work shop, her apartment hadn't been left untouched. Which she of course already knew. Lars had told her of the arrangements he and Mrs Greene had made for her. Letting her eyes roam her main room - living and bed room merged in one - she did notice, however, everything had been changed far less than she had originally expected. Yes, those weren't her own bed covers, and pillows, and there were no pictures of people on the walls on in her book shelf, and it was decidedly tidier than usual… but it didn't look like anyone had ever actually stayed there.

Sascha inhaled another time, focusing on the smells spreading around her, and despite the underlying bite she'd smelled before on her own clothes, her scented candles or the last bits of her perfume clinging to the fabrics there was - nothing.

A quick look into her kitchen, through the door immediately to her right, showed: not even any of her spices or cooking utensils had been moved. Only the sink cleared.

Sascha's shoulders slacked.

She covered her mouth with both her hands, something between a laugh and a gasp of disbelief escaping her as she stepped back into her main room.

No one else had ever stayed there… Whether only due to the city's circumstances, or as a result of Mrs Greene not letting anyone stay at all, Sascha couldn't know for certain. There was a growing suspicion though that it was the latter.

„Unbelievable", she muttered to herself with a shake of her head.

No. Actually, perfectly believable. Mrs Greene was a downright angel. From the very beginning when Sascha had moved in.

Giving her head another shake, Sascha decided to postpone her speechlessness to later, and got to work. Jasper and Esme would be there soon.

After taking her contacts out and preparing another pair for later in her little bathroom, she got the moving boxes which, like promised, Lars had left, folded and tucked away under her bed. Her most personal belongings weren't left in her apartment anymore, but there was still enough to pack. She was glad for it as well, being able to sort through the last things and closing this part off by herself.

Sorting through her books and CDs, little trinkets and decorations, small paintings and illustrations that were still left on her walls and putting them neatly into her boxes, it completely pulled her into all of the memories she had made there. A travel guide for the US west coast, one for British Columbia, a jade bangle from Mrs Greene, a self burned CD from a group of kids she had tutored in her first few months in the States, a framed collection of small stones from every beach she had been to, a scrap book with all her flight, bus and train tickets, a box of polaroids - just to name a few.

It grounded her. Gave back pieces of herself that she hadn't even noticed until that moment she had felt almost entirely disconnected from. Sascha wondered if that was because of vampires slowly forgetting their human life - and immediately made the decision to later take pictures of all these things that she was packing up now, print them out and put them in her diary that she had already started. Keep them safe. She smiled to herself at the thought.

Sascha had managed to move on to the kitchen to pack up what hadn't expired yet and throw out what had when she heard a car pull up in front the building, soon followed by closing car doors and ring at her door bell.

She quickly buzzed them in, opened her apartment door and called down the stairs: „Third floor, you guys."

Sascha left the door open and dashed into the bathroom. She was still struggling to get the second contact lens in, when a courtesy knock sounded on her open door.

„Sascha?", Esme called, smile audible in her voice.

„Come in, come in", Sascha quickly stepped out of the bathroom, opting to blinking the second lens in place, and waved them in, „I've got almost everything ready."

„Aww", Esme said with a soft smile, „We could've helped you."

„Leave some work for the rest of us", Jasper mumbled and gave her a smirk as he closed Sascha's front door with a soft thud.

Sascha laughed and shook her head, rubbing her eye a little. „There's still stuff you can help with! At least now I don't have to make ten different trips up and down the stairs."

„Is there", Jasper paused and leaned to steal a glance into the kitchen, only finding one more box, and chuckled, „is there even enough for that many trips?"

„On my own, while also feigning feeble human strength?", Sascha said with a stage whisper and giggled, „I might even have had to take breaks on the second floor."

„Well, we can't have that, now can we?", Esme clasped her hands together expectantly, „Where do you need us?"

Sascha quickly moved to grab the box from the kitchen. „Esme, maybe you could take this one down to Mrs Greene? She can check if she has need for any of it. I told her about you guys coming, so she should not be surprised."

„Of course, honey." And off she went.

Sascha turned to Jasper. „And we can just carry these down to the car? There's really not much else to do", she rubbed her eye again when the lens kept irritating it, „Mind you we still have to make sure to not carry more than two boxes at most, or my landlady will never let us hear the end of it."

„Is your eye okay?"

„Yeah, it's just the contacts", Sascha waved him off, just about to rub at her eye once more, but then squeezed it shut instead, trying to get some relief that way, „I haven't gotten the hang of how to get them in yet."

She picked up one of the boxes that she had already closed up, but before she could move toward the door, Jasper stepped in front of her, head tilted and looking closely, directly into her left eye. A beat passed where Sascha was holding her breath without meaning to, and then Jasper breathed out a laugh.

„What?"

„You put it in the wrong way."

„But I even double checked that I put the left one into my left eye and-"

„No, not like that", Jasper laughed again, eyes crinkling, and took a step forward, he lifted his hands, „May I?"

Though a bit confused, her reply was almost instant. „Sure."

Jasper raised a hand to her chin to turn her face a little to the side as she was still holding the moving box in her arms and stepped into the space he had created, standing quite close. Very close. Sascha clutched the box a bit tighter.

„Look up for me", he muttered, voice low and the smallest of smiles still tugging on his face.

She did as she was told, and with careful fingers Jasper quickly got the offending contact lens out of her eye.

„See?", he held it on his fingertip in front of her to see and pinched it carefully, causing it to plop the dent into the other direction, „It was flipped inside out."

Sascha snorted out a laugh then. „Oh god, I am so stupid."

„I won't tell anyone", Jasper chuckled, even more so when Sascha nudged the box into the side of his body, „Hold still." He did a shit job at hiding the mirth in his voice. Probably on purpose.

She shook her head a little, a laugh bubbling in her chest, but looked up again a second later, tilting her head a bit more when Jasper's hands came back up to her eyes.

„Idiot", she whispered, making sure to not move, almost not even her mouth.

„Come now", his voice was equally low, smirking a bit as he carefully touched the contact to her eye, „No bad self talk."

Sascha blinked her eyes again, hummed in relief when the contact slipped into place by itself. Jasper lowered his hands only slightly, hovering by her cheeks, and waited.

„Better?"

„Much", Sascha sighed, she then briefly squeezed his one hand that was still hovering close by her face between her cheek and her shoulder, „Thank you."

She straightened up again, letting Jasper's hand fall away from her, and adjusted her grip on the box still resting in her arms.

„Okay, let's go?", she offered, checking over her shoulder while she opened the door with her elbow.

Japser shook his hands out before picking up a box of his own. „Lead the way."

It really didn't take long to get all the boxes down to the van and stack them in the back. Esme was so good at keeping Mrs Greene busy, that for the last run, Sascha and Jasper dared to just double up and take the remaining five boxes in one go. The neighbourhood was quiet around that time of day, so no one would notice them carrying more than they should be able to.

Or so she thought.

Just as Jasper carefully placed his three boxes into the van, Sascha heard the front door behind her opening, and Mrs Greene coming outside with Esme.

„Fuck, Jasper quick, take the upper box from me", she hissed at him, causing him to furrow his brows at her over the shoulder, „Quicklyy!"

Whether he got why or not, at least he listened and quickly grabbed both boxes out of her hands and put them in the van in one swift motion.

„My dear-!"

Too late.

„-You be careful with your back, girl. How many times do I have to say?"

Jasper, hidden by one of the backdoors of the van, shot Sascha a surprised look, eyebrows raised.

„I told you so", she mouthed with a defeated giggle, dragging her hands down her face and then stepped around the back from the van, „Mrs Greene, you know I'm always careful."

„Well, if only that were true", Mrs Greene quipped, a smile on her face, as she and Esme reached Sascha by the car.

To Sascha's dismay, both Esme and Jasper started laughing at her landlady's comment.

„Guys, really?"

„Oh, stop your grumbling, sweetie. Here", Mrs Greene pushed a fogged up glass container with steamed buns into her hands, „take these with you. I made them this morning. No meat!"

Sascha only made to open her mouth, when she was cut off immediately.

„-You'll do well to at least accept this food from me. Don't think I didn't notice you dodging every other offer today."

Sascha breathed out a laugh, bowing her head, and accepted the container which Mrs Greene pushed into her hands with demand, leaving no room for discussion. „Thank you so much, Mrs Greene."

The old lady gave her a sweet smile, softly nudging Sascha's nose with her pointer finger. Sascha clocked it a moment too late, and already saw the shock about her cold skin build up on her landlady's face, getting ready to lecture her. Luckily, at the same time, Jasper swung the van doors shut, successfully distracting from any cold skin or perceived nutrition problem.

Mrs Greene let out a surprised gasp. „And who's that handsome young man?"

„Jasper Hale, ma'am, pleasure to meet you." He kept his voice stable and pleasant, polite smile on his face, but stayed rooted by the car, hands clasped behind his back.

„One of my adopted sons I told you about", Esme added softly.

„Oh I see, I see, how wonderful", she gushed, then gave Jasper a warm smile, „Yu-Lan Greene, the pleasure is all mine."

„Sascha?", Esme gently caught her attention, „Do you have everything, or is there more we can do?"

„No, this is everything. I just have to grab my bag from upstairs and-", Sascha patted her pockets quickly, „ah, my keys. Everything else is packed up and here."

„I also have one more thing for you", Mrs Greene pointed out and hooked her arm into Sascha's, „Come with me."

„Let me keep that for you", Esme offered, already taking the steamed buns from Sascha, „We'll wait here. Take your time."

Sascha gave Esme a quick nod and headed back to the house with her landlady.

Before they had reached the front door even, Mrs Greene tugged on Sascha's arm, wanting Sascha to lean down to her. „Oh, but that young man really is handsome, isn't he?", she said in a hushed tone.

Sascha spluttered a nervous laugh. „I- I guess so, yeah."

„Guess so? Don't lose your way with words suddenly. Wait-", the woman gasped, „wait, you're not still with that horrible boy - what was his name? Nikki?"

„Niko", Sascha fought the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose at the mention of that prick, „and no, Mrs Greene, that was Aleyna's boyfriend, remember? My friend from back home? She broke up with him, though. Thank god."

„Ah what am I saying? Of course, you have much better taste than that", Mrs Greene stopped in front of the door instead of going in, „Oh, it is a good thing she came to her senses."

Sascha nodded firmly, practically feeling her nose crinkle in disgust just thinking of Niko.

„So, what I'm hearing is that you're single?"

„Mrs Greene", Sascha gasped with a laugh and finally opened the door herself, ushering her landlady inside, „You and your curiosity."

„All I'm saying is that he has a lucky nose."

Sascha couldn't stop the laugh that barked out of her. „This is the first time I hear you caring about lucky noses."

„Sweet girl, this is what any good grandma would say", she stated matter of factly, a twinkle in her eye, before she sobered up a little, „and since I'm not your landlady anymore…"

„I'm certain you'd still be a good grandma without the mingling", Sascha assured, feeling warmth in her chest at what Mrs Greene was implying.

„Oh, but that is the best part", the woman sighed with a laugh, and gave Sascha's hand a soft pat, „You really ought to drink more date tea, it helps with circulation."

„I'm fine, I promise. Let me quickly grab my bag from upstairs, before I forget."

She was careful to only start skipping steps when well out of eyesight. Reaching her apartment, Sascha snatched her backpack up from beside the door and let her eyes roam across her now empty apartment, furniture still there but with nothing left inside, and gave her internal goodbye to this place. Thanking it for the nice time it had given her.

Reaching the ground floor again, she twisted off her apartment and building doors' keys from her keychain, and hung them next to the door where Mrs Greene kept all her other keys.

„The keys are-"

„Good, good. Come here", Mrs Greene urged, holding something clutched in her hands, „Something small for you, to keep you safe. Give me your hand."

She placed a black ring in Sascha's open palm. She inspected it with wide eyes, carefully turning it in between her fingers. It was made from a smooth, shiny stone or rock. Barely translucent around the edges when she looked closely.

„Classic would be green jade of course, good for balance and healing", Mrs Greene clarified, „But black jade, like this one, is for… protection."

„It is-", warmth spread in Sascha's chest again, her breath catching a bit, „beautiful, Mrs Greene, thank you."

„Wear it on your left hand for safety, or on your right for better energy flow, yes? Let it sit in direct moonlight every now and again."

Sascha had never really believed in the spiritual or metaphysical. But vampires were real. And so were shapeshifters. Who was to say that this ring wasn't able to do what Mrs Greene had just promised.

„I… I don't know what to say", after a moment of hesitation, she slipped the ring onto her left pointer finger, glad that it fit just right, „I'll take good care of it."

„Take good care of yourself."

„Also that", Sascha said with a laugh.

„Now, would you give me a hug before you go and promise that you come visit me again if you can?"

Sascha didn't have to be asked twice and swiftly wrapped the woman in a careful hug.

„Thank you for everything, Mrs Greene. It was lovely living here."

„It was lovely to have you, sweet girl."

They both seemed to be in an unspoken agreement to not drag the parting words too long. So it was more of a continuation of playful banter as Mrs Greene ushered her out the door, stating that she was a busy woman after all and had other things to attend to.

Sascha was relieved to leave the house with a laugh and not with the burn in her eyes that had tried to build up earlier.

Back at her father's house, Sascha felt less exhausted than she had expected. Quite the opposite actually. So she figured, why push her little project idea to the next day. The sooner she started with it, the better. After quickly checking with her dad that she wasn't needed anywhere else for a while, she carried her tools out to the workbench in the garden and got to work.

***

Jasper POV

He was positively… speechless. Not necessarily because of her appearance per se, but by the waves of serenity that were rolling off of her. Even from more than a dozen yards away. Jasper had noticed hints of it before, when he had - occasionally - observed her, hunched over a new little carving project. Most of the time, just like then, in her own little bubble of creativity.

But it had never been in any way close to her in that moment. Her tools spread around her. A soft smile pulling on her lips. Bliss…

Part of him wanted to join her, ask her to allow him to bask in her peace and just exist with her. And yet, he was too afraid he was going to burst exactly that bubble that he was yearning for so much. He ought to just let her keep it. He ought to stop thinking all together.

It wasn't like he didn't have a task to go after himself. But then there was also the fact of… in fact, her appearance. It was the first time - and Jasper thought himself an absolute fool for even pointing it out - that she was intentionally wearing something sleeveless. Not because someone had ripped at her clothing during a fight and no one could focus on anything but survival.

Was it a sign that his observational skills were slipping, or why had he never noticed just how toned her muscles were? Sascha had spoken of her training endeavors every now and again. It was a shame she wouldn't be able to show her true muscular potential - visually that is.

… muscular potential?
Jasper shook his head at himself, fumbling a second too long to get the paint buckets off the floor. Fool. He blamed it on the tingle he could still feel in his hand from earlier that day. He stretched and flexed his fingers again, but just like before, it didn't help.

No offence to his brother, but he had never been more happy that Edward was no where near him. And wouldn't be for a couple of days.

It wasn't his fault. At least that's what he tried to tell himself. He was sure the others were just as… affected to see Sascha move around in spaces that she felt comfortable in and familiar with. Seeing her navigate places that she knew, interact with people that knew her.

It made him think a bit less sourly about her returning to Germany. Back „home", she had called it, he had to remind himself. Not that he would ever want or dare to keep her from going back. He just kept wishing that „back" wasn't so far away. But seeing Sascha reflected back in the way that she interacted with others and how they treated her made him wish to see more of it, too. It was such an intriguing way to find out more about her. It had been well around a century when he had last had the chance to get to know people like this.

He was treading dangerous waters. And it wasn't right. Which he'd only catch in the aftermath of a day, of a moment, or even a laugh. It was too much. He was too much.

Jasper steeled his jaw and shook his head again. He should stop making it about him. It was not about him.

***

It wasn't until sometime later in the early afternoon, Jasper was just about to finish up painting the last strip of a wall, when Sascha appeared back in the house. The house had been quiet. Lars had gone to the workshop to saw some strips of wood for the flooring, so the other three had taken the opportunity to go for a quick hunt. Sascha, Emmett and him had gone the night before, but apparently Emmett had felt it was necessary to go again. Jasper assumed that all his brother really wanted was just some more time without having to pretend to be human.

So, with all of them gone, Sascha's grumbling to herself was even more noticeable as she vanished in another room down the corridor, soon followed by the sound of drawers being opened and closed.

„Ach leck mich doch, wo hab ich die denn hingetan…"

He did not understand a word, but she sure sounded frustrated. He had to fight the urge to smile when, upon daring to let his powers hone in on her bit, there really wasn't that much frustration actually coming off of her. She was just grumbling for her own entertainment it seemed.

A few moments later, he heard her footsteps coming out of the room again, about to cross the stairs leading up to the attic where he had been painting.

„Junge, als wenn ich nur eine Haarklammer hätte, what the fu-"

„Are you okay?", Jasper finally called down with a chuckle, making her stop in her tracks just at the foot of the stairs.

Sascha snatched her head up to look at him leaning against the banister, startled. She had been just in the middle of messily twisting her hair up in the back of her head to secure it there with a red claw clip, a broken hair tie between her teeth. Seemingly processing her own behaviour, she snorted out a laugh, her nose crinkling a bit.

„I had a hair situation", she admitted and let the claw clip snap shut around her hair, taking the hair tie out between her teeth before she spoke again, „I was this close to destroying everything in the garden after my hair tie snapped."

Jasper sucked his teeth, and shot her a teasing smirk, carefully setting the paint roll down on the with plastic covered floor. „That would have been a shame. Especially since you've been working so diligently out there."

„You want to take a look?", she offered with a smile and all his walls of cautious reserve came down.

„Definitely." His reply was immediate, he didn't even have to a process a thought for it. If she asked, of course he would.

„You don't have to though, if you're still busy up there."

And now he wanted to. Even more. Was it really that simple?

„The walls need to dry before the second coat anyway", he pushed himself off the banister and swiftly joined her at the bottom of the stairs, „And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious."

Sascha hummed with a pleasant smile. „Then let me save you from your boredom."

With the others out hunting, it had been rather quiet work for him. Not necessarily boring, quite relaxing actually in between all their busy days. However, in no shape or form preferable to joining that little project bubble Sascha had created for herself.

While following behind her down to the first floor, he considered how unusual it still was that his family trusted to leave him alone that much. He couldn't remember the last time that had been the case. Not that the occasion would come up often to begin with. But sometimes even him going off for a hunt with only one of them to join him was enough to start a discussion. Never out of malice at least, that much he was aware of. But it had happened.

Gradually, however, it had ceased to happen. With Victoria such a close threat and the army approaching, he had written it off to situational negligence, considering there were a multitude of problems to suddenly navigate. But things hadn't gone back to how they'd been before.

He wasn't blind. How could they go back to how it was before? How could anything ever be the same again after-

„Two more days, then I should be done."

Without him realizing, they had already reached the big table she'd been working at all day.

Sascha had her hands propped on her hips, eyes roaming her work. „Or maybe one and half."

Jasper stepped up next to her and his eyes widened. „You did that in mere hours?"

In front of him sat a half carved out, half sketched on piece of wood, at least 3 feet long.

Sascha had carved out rich floral patterns and leaves, mixing and joining with swung ornaments and spirals, that finally met with ray-like grooves fanning over the middle. The half that she hadn't gotten to yet had the same patterns on it, sketched with messy pencil lines. It gave him all he needed to know how magnificent it would be once finished.

„This is-" The words got stuck in his throat. It wasn't like anything she had ever done in the time they knew her.

„Part of me wanted to half arse this, but I can't", Sascha laughed, and blew some carve dust of a flower.

„Why would you put all this effort for a person that's taking advantage of you?"

Sascha shrugged. „Because I can."

Jasper could only shake his head, eyes still glued to the masterpiece in front of him. „I truly have no words. It's magnificent."

„You want to know the best part?", she asked, a certain type of mirth in her tone, „You see these flowers?", she traced her fingers over those that had proper shape, „These symbolise disappointment, this one is for arrogance, that one for greed, and this one for misanthropy."

Being prompted finally got his brain working enough that he felt like he was functioning again. He pondered her words for a moment. When it hit him, he barked out a laugh - surprising himself. „You did not."

„Oh yes I did", Sascha nodded with a smirk and crossed her arms in satisfaction, „This will hang on his ceiling, and he won't even know it will forever call him a greedy greedy bastard."

Jasper couldn't stop the hearty chuckles. „Impressive."

„My pettiness? Oh yes I agree."

„Your skill, actually."

Sascha waved him off with a laugh. „It doesn't even feel like I'm doing anything anymore", she admitted, „With the strength we have, it feels so easy. I did all of the grooves in the middle with one carve each. I just wish I didn't have to use the saw", she reached for a bucket that stood to her feet on her left and showed it to him, there were broken off saw blades in there, „One wrong move and it just snaps off."

Jasper hummed in understanding. „That would be annoying. Luckily it looks like you don't need to use it much, right?"
„True, true. Just for the outside lines. I wish I could use my fingernails more, but they're too short", she said with a chuckle, „I had cut them the same morning I was turned. They will never grow again, right?"

„I'm afraid not."
„Well damn." With a breath that was something between a sigh and a laugh, she put the bucket down next to the table again.

That was when something caught Jasper's eye that he hadn't ever noticed before. And how could he - she always wore her hair at least half down, never fully up like she did in that moment. So, the angry and deep bite mark at the back of her neck had pretty much always been covered. It was different than the other ones he had seen on her arms.

He wanted to ask. But it really didn't feel like the right moment. He doubted there would ever be a right moment for that topic. It was then that he also noticed, they had never actually really asked her about the exact circumstances of her turning. Only when it happened, and then what had happened among the newborns until she had run away.

Sascha turned around then, a confused frown on her face, her eyes flitting all over his frame. „Is everything okay?"

„Yes, of course, wh-", he cut himself and his pitiful attempt at a lie off when he noticed a crucial aspect. Evidently, his cognitive function wasn't all the way back to where he'd wish it to be, meaning he hadn't even thought about being careful what his talents. „Sorry about that."

„No need to say sorry", she said quickly and tilted her head slightly to the side, „Do you want to talk about it?"

Part of the tension in his limbs left him. Still, he hesitated a moment. He didn't want to cause her discomfort. „Can I ask you something about… your turning?"

Sascha's eyebrows twitched a little in surprise, but she didn't look uncomfortable. „Yeah, sure."

„Do you remember what exactly happened the night they turned you? Especially just before and just after your transformation?"

She crossed her arms, and hummed in thought. „Oah, uh, good question. Someone knocked me out - like, completely, possible head trauma out, next thing I know, after coming to, someone bit down on my neck", her hand came up to rub exactly the bite he had noticed just moments earlier, „I think I tried to push them away? This is all quite blurry, because I also… I think I couldn't see anything, pretty sure it was in the middle of the night. They did let go though, and then I was bitten again, in the same spot-"

„-You were bitten twice?" Jasper hadn't meant to interrupt her, but that was information she hadn't shared yet.

„Three times, actually. And after that I couldn't ignore the pain anymore either. Before that it had been somewhat bearable, but after", she grimaced with a laugh, „Fuck me, it got bad after that. They let go of me when I started screaming, and then when it stopped for me, I was just left alone for a while until the others were fully turned too."

He pondered on that for a few moments. While he did want to process her words, he was also painfully aware, that if he focused too much on people hurting her while she had been completely helpless, he would lose himself somewhere down the line.

„How is it that we've never talked about this before?"

Sascha shrugged again. „It never really came up again, right? I also never thought about it much after. And, to be fair, back then, these weren't really the details we needed to focus on."

How he wished he had already known her then like Alice obviously had through her visions. He could've aided her better, and kept a better composure altogether seeing as he would've been prepared, at the very least.

Regret pulled his limbs rigid, a lead like weight almost keeping him from speaking again. „Do you ever wish we had given you more… space to work through all that?"

„Objectively it might have been healthier, but I don't feel like I needed that at the time", she answered honestly, then a soft, almost hidden smile brightened her features, „I got to re-experience being a vampire through you. That's worth more than I could ever say."

The sincerity and gentleness in her eyes made his bones evaporate into dust. It caused something within his very being to well up with nowhere to go. And he would've liked to blame it on her emotions, but it was all his own. Hers rarely left the boundaries she had surely drawn at some point in her previous life.

The sound of a car approaching swiftly and parking in front of the house ripped him out of it.

„Well, quite a miracle, I'd say", he said and tried to laugh, but to him he just sounded breathless, „Given the fact that at least half of us actively hate being what we are."

Sascha, whether to save his nerves or not, he couldn't say, quickly caught onto his jab, and smirked. „Come on, best part about being a vampire is making Edward resent every single day of it."

He chuckled, finally being able to breathe again. „How right you are."

„I often am", she quipped, before she nudged her chin in the direction of the house, „We'd better get back to work. Or Emmett will challenge one of us to some competition for being lazy."

„Yes, ma'am." With a soft nod, Jasper clasped his hands behind his back and, not really wanting to, started slowly walking backwards to the house, finding a smile conquer his face. „Let me know when you finish your masterpiece."

Sascha snorted a laugh, definitely not causing his breath to catch, and rolled her eyes with a shake of her head. „Sure thing, darlin'."

***

Sascha POV

Of course - Sascha had to remind herself as she was forced to squeeze around a group of people who saw no issue standing in absolutely everyone's way - the purpose of those days in Seattle were not just for her to hide away in the house and be comfortable working with wood.

The purpose was to desensitise her. To challenge her. The challenge of the day: the biggest mall in Seattle, on the weekend. And a challenge it was. It had been crowded even before she and the others had arrived.

Sascha found herself wanting to rub her temples as an uncomfortable pressure settled at the base of her neck, crawling into her skull. It felt familiar, in a very mundane way. There had been a reason why she'd visited this particular mall only once or twice before. And even then only during the week, never on a weekend.

„This would be rage control training for me even if I was still human", she muttered, mostly to herself.

„Since when is this about rage control and not blood lust control?", Emmett deadpanned and leaned over her shoulder, giving Sascha a pointed, teasing look.

„Since the people here have become more annoying than appetising."

Emmett gasped theatrically. „Sher, what-"

„-Get out of her space", came Rosalie's voice from behind her and Sascha looked over her shoulder just in time to see her flick Emmett's ear.

Sascha was sure that later she might see the fun in Emmett's teasing again. But in that moment, all she could think about was how there were at least 76 smells too many in the air around her and how the excited squeals of young children reached a pitch that should be impossible for such small bodies to create. And what were they excited about anyway? They were at a mall!

Sascha felt her own nose wrinkle without her permission. „Why do they sell so much food here?" The foodcourt from a few floors below reached even up to them, wafting about, the smell of about a dozen different fried things clinging to the fabrics of everyone around.

„It's a mall."

„Emmett", came the soft warning from Esme.

Quietly grateful, but otherwise ignoring their banter when Emmett grumbled something unintelligible, Sascha felt the loud noises, crowded stuffiness and the wrinkle in her nose sparking something.

„Is there something that can be done?", Jasper asked in a low voice, mostly aimed for her to hear.

Absentmindedly, Sascha shook her head. „Wait…", she frowned as she tried to find what this reminded her off, they had kept walking slowly, with no real destination, when, finally, it clicked, „Oh, I know what I need!"

The others looked at her with varying degrees of surprise, expectancy, and of course in Jasper's case, worry.

„There's a tea shop here, and they sell essential oils too. I'm just gonna get one, rub it under my nose, and then I need to get out of here." She stuffed her hands into her pockets and started heading to her intended direction.

A small part of her worried that she'd come off as rude, especially with her just leaving without waiting for the others' agreement, but frankly, Sascha didn't have enough energy to spare then anyway. She was getting overstimulated - and quickly at that. She hadn't been the best at dealing with that even before, when she was still human. She hoped the others would understand and merely follow her.

Keeping her hands in her pockets, shoulders tensed and lifted slightly to avoid as much physical contact as possible, Sascha swiftly moved through the crowds.

As though on auto pilot, she found herself in front of the store she had intended to reach. Sascha blinked once in surprise. It had been this kind of lost focus she'd also sometimes get while driving - where she would not be able to say if the last few street lights had been red or green, or if there had been any at all. Her shoulders lost some of the tension rippling in her bones when the bustling noise of the mall was dulled slightly by the automatic doors closing again.

Luckily there were only few people in need for tea that day it seemed. Sascha made straight for the shelf with the essential oils, letting the soft music and stead swirl of various scents engulf her.

Her fingers were currently hovering over the labelled lids, each promising different kinds of relief or remedy, debating which one to choose when-

„What are we looking for?"

A flinch tore through her body, despite how gentle his voice had been, causing her to almost throw over a couple of the vials in front of her. Her head snatched up, eyes wide. „Jasper what the fuck." Her voice came out as barely a breath, her insides evaporated somewhere beyond her reach.

„I am sorry", Jasper chuckled softly, both his hands lifted, though with a concerned twitch in his brows, „I thought you had noticed me joining you."

Sascha covered her face as a short breath slipped out, half covering her surprise, half to collect herself. „Obviously not." She let her hands drag down her face and peaked at him through her fingers.

A moment passed, the two of them only looking at each other, when, simultaneously, a laugh came out of both of them.

Jasper bowed his head, a smirk finally hinting around his features. „I should have known better."

„Or", Sascha offered and dropped her hands from her face, „I should've noticed being followed. What was it you said about my instincts once?" She tapped her nose and breathed out another laugh.

„I would say your focus was just too clear this time", Jasper said with a shrug, stepping closer to her and the shelf, „It doesn't count."

„Oh, that's very gracious of you", she muttered and shot him a teasing look before she turned back to the rows of small bottles, scanning the labels again. She perked up with a hum when she finally found the one she'd been looking for, picking it out the shelf.

Jasper leaned slightly toward her, carefully looking over her shoulder. „What's that one?"

„It's a blend of ginger, rosemary and pine. It's supposed to help with balancing restlessness", Sascha slowly made for the counter to pay as she explained, „But actually, I just really like the smell."

Jasper nodded along and followed again, hands clasped behind his back like he'd usually do in public, and took in the rest of the store as she paid.

The air in there was surprisingly not overwhelming, given how many different fragrances were wafting about, lavender and something minty specifically clinging to the back of her throat. It wasn't unpleasant though. Just like the soft music, it invited to just exist there for a moment.

However, once the small paper bag was in Sascha's hands, they had to step back out into the brightness of the mall. She would've loved to linger and avoid it a moment more, but it was unwise considering the time of day and that it would only become even more crowded as time went on.

She didn't make for the escalators immediately, instead trying to accommodate to the loud buzz of voices and stimuli for a moment. „Where are the others, by the way?"

„Esme thought it best to give you some space", Jasper gave her a careful look, „They said something about checking out that one furnishing and home accessory store a couple of floors upstairs."

Sascha's eyes lit up for a moment. „Oh, is Esme planning another refurbishing idea?"

„Something like that", he said before letting out a chuckle, „Although I do believe she just wanted to find a place to dull down Emmett a little bit. He finds that place boring like no other."

Sascha snorted out a laugh. „And he actually listens?"

„A miracle, really."

She nodded at that, smirking to herself, and pulled the tiny bottle back out of her paper bag. She uncapped it carefully, the scent meeting her instantly - clean forest air with cozy spice. She put one finger on the opening, putting it upside down and back again in a swift motion, before dabbing the oil into one of her wrists and then carefully under her nose.

Sascha inhaled slowly, relief prickling through her chest at the comforting scent.

„Better", she murmured.

She noticed Jasper watching her with a faint smile.

She fought the urge to clear her throat. „What?"

„Does it actually work, or does it work because you want it to?"

„Well", she dragged out - when did anything ever work out just because she wanted it to - and sucked her teeth with a smile, „At this point I don't really care which one it is. As long as it works in some way, I'm not going to question it."

As though to confirm for herself another time, she took another, very present breath in, wanting and allowing the fragrance to settle her.

Jasper nodded then, giving her a brief once over, eyes softening just slightly. „It seems to be doing the trick."

Without thinking, Sascha tipped the bottle over again, finger pressed to the opening. „Wanna try?"

He hesitated. But only a moment, the small contemplating frown didn't even have time to form, then already held out his wrist out to her. Sascha dabbed a small bit of the oil onto his skin.

He took a careful breath in and his eyes widened, eyebrows twitching up. „Huh."

She nodded happily, a grin forming on her lips. „I know right?"

„It smells like y-", he cleared his throat quickly, „It smells really nice. It fits you."

Sascha blinked at him, caught off guard by what he almost stumbled over. „What?"

„Calm, grounding…", he trailed off for the briefest moment, a smirk flitting across his face, „With a certain bite to it."

„Right", she laughed finally, and turned toward the escalators, „That sounds just like me."

Jasper said nothing else, but chuckled quietly to himself as he swiftly moved to take the lead. Instead of falling in step beside her, he angled his body in such a way in front of her that it made it easier for Sascha to move forward. The corners of her mouth lifted in gratitude.

As they made their way down floor by floor, the noise from the busier areas started to soften. The near constant beeping of scanners and cash registers giving way to the crinkle of food wrappings and the slicing of blades against ice. By the time they reached the lowest floor, the air also had a certain chill to it, with it being the only floor air-conditioned cool enough to accommodate the ice field.

The skating rink stretched out behind glass panels, lit in pale blue and white. The amount of children stumbling about happily with their parents trying to keep up to stable them on the ice also explained the excited squeals that had jarred Sascha's ears the entire time they'd been in the mall.

„I didn't know they kept this up even during summer", Sascha mused and carefully put the paper bag with the bottle into her jacket pocket.

„I didn't even know this was here."

She laughed softly. „Did you ever try skating?"

„No, not that I can recall", he replied after thinking for a short moment, „You?"

„Yeah, but not here, that was-"

She was cut off by a group of three teenaged boys stomping passed them, hockey skates already on their feet, toward the rink, all the while cackling and cheering obnoxiously loud.

„That was back home", she repeated. Her nose crinkled in distaste the moment that they jumped on the ice and started racing each other recklessly, without regard for the other people on the rink. „Usually, it can be fun."

„Do you… want to go out there?", his voice raised at the end as if he was asking multiple questions at the same time, the look on his face betraying the doubt he was trying to hide.

„No, no", she said quickly, feeling a fond smile pull at her mouth when she noticed Jasper's shoulder sagging with relief, „Especially not with these idiots on the ice. Let's just go back."

„Alright", he motioned toward the elevators, „Parking's below."

Sascha nodded, both turning away from the rink when-

„Hey! Watch out!", a yell came from somewhere on the ice, catching both Sascha's and Jasper's attention. „Slow down!"

Then, as though in slow motion, she watched a girl, who must've already been stumbling over her feet, fall flat on her stomach. One of the fast skating guys, directly in collision course with the girl, tried to stop, shaved ice spraying everywhere, but he was unable to catch himself in time. The edge of his blade caught on the ice instead, making him crash and tumble.

The smell hit Sascha's nose before the scream could hit the air.

The blade hadn't caught on ice.

***