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Birthdays.
For most kids, birthdays mean cake, presents, spending time with friends and family and a whole sense of happiness all around.
But Max isn’t like most kids. He grew up in a household where his presence wasn’t really wanted; just happened to be there. His dad left him when he was 8 years old, reasons still unknown to him, albeit Max already made up his mind about his father’s decision. It was his fault.
See, Max has this problem. A problem that stems from extreme childhood negligence. A problem only him, his mother and his late father know of. A problem he’d rather bury deep down, avoid at every cost. His mother was of a different kind. She’d wear a mask in public and tell others how “great” and “smart” her only kid was, but in private the mask would fall into the shape of pill bottles and alcohol, whose voice of sweetness boasting about her child became shrills of screams and wailings, haunting Max’s every thought, every move and every dream.
This, of course, frightened him. He knew that every single mistake, no matter how small or unimportant it might seem, would send his mother spiraling into a fit of rage, with Max becoming nothing but another object of use for his mother. Soon, the violent, abusive nature became a part of him, consumed him. Everyone just assumed he was a huge jerk, brushing off his attitude and habit of acting out as his personality. Despite this, he kept to himself at school, never really interacting with others. It was only after word of his father’s leave that he became the center of attention. Negative attention, of course.
We think your son might be able to heal at this camp.
Absolute bullshit.
I am your mother; I know what is best for you.
She just wanted to get rid of me.
Nobody else will want you. You are stuck with me.
The heartbreaking truth.
So, off to camp Max went, with the sole intention of “being fixed”, or some shit his mother half-explained. He knew the real intentions. It’s only because the school finally noticed him that she shows some contempt. It’s only because she got caught.
That was a long time ago. At least, to Max, it feels like long ago.
The camp at dawn is beautiful however Max would never admit it out loud. Dangling his feet from the dock, a yawn escapes his lips. He can barely sleep, which is the usual for him. He used to complain about Neil’s snoring problem, but his lack of sleep has become such a routine he doesn’t bother anymore. Besides, he likes the peace and quiet. It’s such a nice change of pace, and despite what he might think, he secretly loves a calm atmosphere. However, something grows in the back of his mind.
Walking back to his tent, his mind starts to ponder. He can’t shake off the feeling that today might be important some way or another, but he can’t really remember what it is. It’s only when he enters his tent and checks the calendar, he realizes why this day felt so different to him.
July 8th, 201X
Under this date is ‘Max’s 11th Birthday’, poorly written
Oh.
Max stared at the calendar for a moment then shook his head back to reality. He completely forgot about it.
Who cares?
“Good morning, Campers!” The enthusiastic man smiled, greeting the kids with that same idiotic happy glint in his eyes. This man was David, and despite his appearance and attitude, he’s not all that bad. He’s pretty cool, though Max would never tell him that. Even so, David has been there for Max when times were tough, and deep down he knows David cares.
I wonder if he knows.
But why would I even care if he did?
“As you probably know, we have previously assigned each one of you with specific tasks to complete for today’s ceremony. Please see to it that you can finish them today!” David beamed with pride, but something felt off about it. It seemed as if he was hiding something. What was more surprising to him is the fact that everyone happened to have an assignment while Max was the odd one out! What stupid thing are they planning and why wasn’t he informed of it? He couldn’t help but feel like the other campers were avoiding him a bit, and his anxiety grew a bit more when he walked outside the Camp Hall, seeing as none of his friends greeted him.
“Hey Neil,” he stuck his hands in his hoodie pocket, trying to seem nonchalant and cool. He didn’t want Neil to see him puzzled, otherwise that might blow his cover.
“Oh, hey, Max.” Neil greeted back, but Max could tell his attention was on something else. Possibly another ‘experiment’ he’d been working on.
“What, uh, what are you working on?” Max peered over his shoulder, only catching a quick glance before Neil shushed him away. The project of Neil’s looked weird, similar to that of a decoration.
“Nothing of your interest. Shoo! I’ll talk to you later when I’m finished.”
Max huffed in disappointment, knowing that he couldn’t get a word out of Neil. Not in this state, where he’s doing his thing. He still had one other friend he could question, and hopefully she will be more cooperative than Neil was. He didn’t want to ask Neil where she was neither did he feel like interacting with other campers. His anxiety is bad right now, nobody needs to see it. Turning, he looked at the Camp Hall. Maybe Nikki was inside? As he opened the doors, he found Nikki, Ered and Gwen at a table, with a huge banner lying in front of them. He met Nikki’s eyes immediately as she got up to push him out of the Hall.
Her explanation? Woman problems.
Grossed out and bothered by the lack of attention from his friends, he decided to give up and go back to his tent. Now he knows his friends are avoiding him. Hell, even David hasn’t really paid attention to him today. Did he do something wrong? His only comfort right now was Mr. Honeynuts, displayed upon his cot. Holding him tight, all he could do was sleep this day away. He was tired, anyways.
He awoke to the sound of ruffling around his tent. Much to his decision, he stepped out, dazed and a little confused. It was already dark outside. He finally focused his view on Neil and Nikki, the latter who could not hide her grinning face. They were all dressed up in some blue attire, but he couldn’t really see them that well. Well, he couldn’t really see at all. As he stood there dumbstruck, Nikki had managed to tie a blindfold around his eyes.
“Where. Are. You. Taking me?” The boy huffed, being dragged along by his two best friends. He knew it was nowhere dangerous, but still! What the hell are these two up to?
“Just a little longer, Max!” Nikki’s voice could be heard, excitement trying to leap out of her every word. After what seemed like forever, they finally stopped. Removing the blindfold from the boy’s eyes, both Nikki and Neil stepped in front of him.
“Ta Da!” They both exclaimed in unison, waving their hands in the air.
Max looked at them then noticed the familiar building behind them.
The Camp Hall.
“Uh. You guys. Thanks?” His puzzled face shocked the two friends, only for them to realize they forgot to open the door.
“Shoot! Heh, sorry Max!” Nikki and Neil both took each door handle and opened it.
Suddenly, Max’s puzzled face turned into astonishment as his eyes laid upon a banner. A banner that had ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX’ written in bright letters, obviously done by the campers. He tilted his head down to view all the campers, donned in Max’s iconic outfit; a blue sweatshirt. They all had on party hats and big smiles. Words couldn’t describe this feeling inside of him. Seeing all the campers, happy to be in his presence, showing him nothing but care, love and support. In the middle of the table was a cake, lit up with exactly eleven candles. Just for him. Tears filled his eyes as they all shouted surprise, but he quickly tried to wipe them away.
Is this really all for me?
“How, how did you..?” He focused his gaze on David. He seemed like the only one to put this all together, considering the fact he keeps track of every time Max smiles. The real question is how did he find out about his birthday?
“Some little birdies told me about this special day,” David glances at Neil and Nikki, with Neil giving a little wink as Nikki bounces up and down.
“What better way to celebrate your birthday then with friends?” He motions to all of the campers. They all were beaming with joy as they watched Max give a half-smile.
“Well, what are we waiting for?”
TIME-SKIP
Cricket noises could be heard from the land surrounding the lake that Max felt so oddly fond of. It was around 10 o’ clock at night and everyone else was sound asleep, tired from a long, surprisingly good, day. He really didn’t expect such a huge celebration for something he found so meaningless. This was a first for him.
CRACK!
Max jumped, startled at the noise. His eyes widened and his heart started to pound. He knows there’s some weird animals living in the wood, and hopefully none of them would come out tonight. Although, he was rather happy today, so if he were to die, well, today would be the perfect day to.
CRACK!
Something started to merge from the shadows.
This is it. I’m gonna die!
A figure appeared from the bushes. A tall, lanky figure similar to that of a peppy camp counselor. A peppy, upbeat, somewhat annoying camp counselor. It was David. Of course. The redhead laid his eyes on Max, who quickly turned back to the lake trying to resume his ‘cool’.
“Max, why aren’t you in your tent?” David sat next to him, looking at the small boy. He noticed the eye bags and sad eyes. Ever since David met Max, he spent his hardest trying to figure out why Max is unhappy, why he acts the way he does. At first, he dismissed his attitude as Max just being rebellious. It wasn’t until Parent’s Day where he found out about his past, or at least as much as Max would tell. He was always distant, cold and off. However, Max has come to show he cares in his own way through the little things he does. He has become a little calmer since their first encounter. So, in some respects, perhaps Max feels safe.
“I couldn’t sleep.” He tilted his head and squinted his eyes at the water below him. It sparkled in stars.
“What about you?”
“I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t want to pull you aside and embarrass you in front of the campers, y’know?” He chuckled, but the annoying smile that Max swore gave him a migraine was nowhere to be found.
Something is wrong.
Max kept his gaze on the lake, preparing for the worst. He felt that if he didn’t face David, then maybe the words that would come out of his mouth weren’t real. He pondered what they would be.
The campers really don’t enjoy your presence.
You’re being sent home.
I’m disappointed in you, Max.
His thoughts ran like circles in his head. He had to keep his cool, though. He doesn’t want to cry in front of David. Despite everything they’ve been through, he’s afraid to show weakness. He’s afraid that if he opens up David would hurt him. Abuse is the nightmare that keeps you trapped, choking you with insecurity and doubt and creates a barrier with you and everyone else around you. Everyone becomes an enemy, a predator. Max knows the evils adults possess; he just hopes that David is the good he needs. Maybe even the good he deserves.
“Look, Max,” David turns to the lake as well, trying to muster up the courage to speak.
“I can’t help but feel a little confused. How come you didn’t say anything to me or Gwen about your birthday?”
Max shifted uncomfortably, bringing his knees up to his chest to pick at his shoes. He was too tired to put a fight and he honestly didn’t want to yell at David or push him away. Not today.
“It’s not a big deal at my house. I’m kind of just ‘there’. Like, what do I expect? ‘Congrats on another year of being a burden! Here’s a cake!’” He exclaimed sarcastically, waving his hands in a jazz position. He had to keep his emotions neutral, otherwise he’d be in trouble. David would never hurt him, but he was taught to keep his emotions deep inside and never talked about. He didn’t want anything to change.
“Did you think we wouldn’t care?” David inquired, not trying to dive too deep. He knew that pushing Max would only result in avoidance.
“Honestly, I really don’t care.” Max shrugged his shoulders, fidgeting with his shoelaces.
“But today was fun. I liked it. Don’t make a big deal out of this, but I think it was cool that you did this for me.” He averted his eyes from David. It was embarrassing to admit out loud.
David gave a soft smile, and for once Max didn’t want to punch him.
“I’m glad.”
They sat in silence for a while, just admiring the view from the dock. Max wanted to enjoy this moment, as crazy as that sounds, but something was eating at him. Words aching to escape, words and thoughts he kept inside for a long time. Before he could figure out a way to change the subject, his mouth ran faster than his brain.
“I just don’t get it.”
The boy turned his face to David with a perplexed expression.
“Why do you care but my parents don’t?”
Max couldn’t believe the question that he had just asked. Looking at David’s shocked face, he wished he could take it back. Rewind.
“I can’t answer that question, Max.” David sighed, gently shaking his head.
“I don’t understand why your parents don’t care. I don’t understand why they treat such an incredible, smart kid, who would excel if only he had the chance, like dirt. It boggles my mind. I can’t speak for them, mostly because I don’t have the answers you seek.” Tears started to swell in Max’s eyes.
“However, I know that no matter what, I will never stop caring about you. I won’t stop in trying to make life as enjoyable as it can be for you. You deserve so much more than what you receive, and I hope that you feel comfortable enough to express your emotions; positive and negative.” His voice sounded sterner, but not the way of a lecture. More of a passionate way, like he truly believed what he was saying without a doubt.
“Enough about how I feel. How do you feel, Max?” Max turned his body to David, not expecting to hear this question. He was never asked this before.
“I-I feel... Angry? Upset? Confused. Mad. Extremely peeved. Mad for existing and having to deal with all of this, and mad that I have good days because then I can’t really say that my life completely sucks. I’m upset that I feel so alone but happy I’m away from my parents. The only word that keeps echoing in my mind is ‘why’.” His words came out like vomit, with his speech and body shaking but his mind was somehow clear.
“Why don’t my parents love me? Why must I be such a burden on them? Why does death feel more like peace to me? And, and…” every question brought more questions to him, and the concerned look on David’s face in addition to the hot tears streaming down his face just fueled the fire.
“Why couldn’t I have you as a father?” The lump in his throat formed as he turned away, immediately ashamed of the last question. Parental rejection was something he was used to, but for some reason he couldn’t bare to look at David. He was shaking, covering his face to hide his sobs. He felt pathetic.
Immediately, David set his hand upon Max’s shoulder, bringing the boy closer. His tiny hands moved to reveal his face; red and snotty. David didn’t judge or yell at him, he just held his kid closer, allowing Max to let out his cries. This went on for several minutes, until Max finally wiped his eyes and pulled away from him.
“Max, I don’t want to make you feel forced to make this decision-“
“David.” Max interrupted. His voice still a little thick from all the crying.
“You care more about me than my parents ever had. I’m content when I’m with you, despite the fact that you can be a little too… Extra. You’ve never hurt me or threatened me. I’m safe. That’s more than I can say about my parents. What I’m trying to say is that if you are cool with it, then maybe… Maybe I want to stay. With you.” Max cringed. It felt kind of embarrassing. What if David straight up rejects him?
“Well,” David rubs his hands together. Max sat there awkwardly, trying his best to keep a neutral face and not sob.
“I may not be the perfect dad, but by golly I’ll try my hardest.” David looked at Max, who, for once, looked happy. He ruffled the boy’s hair as Max shushed his hands away.
“Watch it.” Max chuckled, smiling as he turned his head towards the lake. He took a deep breath as he heard cracking noises, only to glance at David getting up.
“I’m old.” David said as he cracked his back.
“You’re 24.” Max replied, disgusted.
“Hey, watch the attitude, son.” The redhead lifted a bony finger, putting a strong emphasis on son.
“Oh Jesus Christ.” Max rolled his eyes as he got up. He yawned, ready to finally get some sleep. It was around 12 in the morning. They walked to Neil and Max’s tent, where David told him goodnight and that he’d see him in the morning. As David started to leave the camp site to slumber, he heard his name being called out.
“David?” Max peeked out of the tent with only his head visible.
“Yes?” David turned around, raising one eyebrow.
“Thank you.”
David gave a soft smile as he got down to Max’s level, patting his son on the head.
“No need to thank me. I should be the one thankful for the chance to raise you. Goodnight, buddy.” He went to stand back up until a question rose in his mind.
“Hey, Max. Just curious, what was your birthday wish?”
Max yawned, and with a smile he said,
“A family.”
END