Work Text:
So, Tony's getting a divorce (but, thankfully, an amicable one). It might be a terrible idea, who knows, but for now Pepper and him are transitioning from a couple to roommates, so that Morgan can keep both her parents. Tony believes they can make it work, as their friendship always was the bedrock of their relationship. They've set a meeting with their lawyers for the paperwork, and Tony is moving into one of the cabin's guest rooms–not Rhodey's, but the second biggest.
Tony hadn't realized how much stuff drifted in there over the years. There's SI promo material and fan mail on the desk, and boxes taking space in the closet. Probably more SI merch, Tony muses as he opens the first box to check its content. He's proven right when he finds a series of smaller boxes with branded thermal cups. The second box is filled with notebooks and tote bags, and Tony puts it aside too. He'll have marketing come and pick it up.
The third box is more interesting. At first it seems like a generic "cables and parts" box, but then Tony sees one of DUM-E's servos, and a stripped Iron Man gauntlet. It's surprising that it ended up in this closet and not in the garage. He's about to close the box to bring it downstairs when he spots a black oblong shape. Tony's heart skips when he touches it. It's the darn flip phone Steve sent him after the Civil War fiasco.
He did not know he still had the thing. Tony kept the phone—always charged—on his person for two years. He had a complicated love-hate relationship with it for so long, which feels silly now. The phone was a constant reminder that they had broken up the Avengers, but it was also a gesture from Steve nonetheless. Tony was tempted to smash it at first, then hoped Steve would text or call, and when he realized it was his move, it had been too long. In the end, it was Bruce who used the phone to call Steve when Thanos sent his "children" for the Time Stone and all hell broke loose.
Tony generally avoids thinking about what came next. Suffice to say that he eventually woke up from the most dramatic outburst of his life feeling like a fool, and with a few things on his side table: the arc reactor, the flip phone he'd last given to Bruce, and a hand-written note from Steve. As for the letter, the words are seared forever in his memory.
"Dear Tony,
I'm sincerely sorry for everything.
Rocket and Nebula found out where Thanos is. The plan is pretty straightforward: take the fight to Thanos, beat him, and hopefully reverse this mess. I like to think that you'd approve, but you'd probably say it's desperate and stupid. (Between you and me? I
knowit's desperate and stupid.) But it's all we have. Our chances of success would be so much higher if you were with us, but we can't wait until you're better. We have to act now. I'm sorry about that too.I wish you a speedy and full recovery. And all the best, always.
Yours,
Steve Rogers"
Tony left the compound with Pepper before the Avengers came back from their mission. Clearly, someone—maybe Rhodey—packed a few things and got them to the cabin because Tony remembers ignoring the phone.
Five years later, the fight feels trivial. He was one of the lucky ones, following the Decimation. He retired from the Avengers, focused on providing the world now in disarray with green power and as much help as he could provide through SI. Pepper proved once more that she was the best in everything by making the perfect little girl and being an awesome mom. Tony is proud that he's doing well as a parent too, if he can say so himself. The trick, at first, was wondering how Howard would act and doing the opposite, but more and more he's confident that he's got this. The key is unconditional love and acting accordingly.
Tony has regrets about how things ended with the Avengers. With Steve in particular. When the Team worked well, it was spectacular and among the best moments in Tony's life. For a while, he thought of them as family, and he misses that feeling. Tony has seen little of them, apart from building a house and a lab for Bruce in Mexico. He put Iron Man aside for good reasons, but now that his marriage is over… Tony wonders if he could offer his help again. But even if the spirit is willing, he's uncertain his body could follow.
Maybe it's nostalgia that has him fish out the phone's charger from the box, and plug it in. Curiosity, too. Later, when he goes to bed, Tony checks the call log. This sad excuse for a phone was used a few times on the fateful day Thanos attacked, and always to reach the one number in the contacts. Tony wonders how that conversation went.
Surely Steve threw away his phone now, right? It's even surprising that Tony still has a signal. Impulsively, Tony types and sends a message.
Just found this! Possibly wisdom comes with age, but… I regret not using it. Maybe we could have cleared the air before it was too late.
A check mark appears next to the text, which causes a little bolt of anxiety, but Tony's quick to dismiss it: this outdated tech doesn't even show if the message is received or read. It's okay either way; he's convinced Steve won't really see the text.
Tony carries the phone on his person at all times, much like between Siberia and the snap, but this time with a positive spin. It acts as a touchstone to his old life with the Avengers, and he uses it as the journal Harlene, his therapist, once suggested. He has unresolved issues with Steve Rogers that predate the guy even coming out of the ice.
I should have been kinder to you. It wasn't your fault Howard used you to demean me, and you paid for my resentment. I'm sorry.
A few minutes later: But it really got on my nerves that you were just as good as he always said. Fuck you, Rogers, for making all of us mortals look bad! (kidding!)
That's another thing that didn't help us: by the time we understood each other, there were already so many mishaps.
Morgan drew a picture of the two of us today. We're battling a big hamster, it's awesome. Oh, wait.
Pretty good for a 4 years old, right? Do you like kids? I'm sure you'd love her, she's the best. So smart, funny, and with a big heart. I am so grateful to have her in my life.
Sending Morgan's drawing opens up the possibilities, and Tony now sends pictures, too.
The suit he's building for Pepper. Look at me, making a 600 million dollar suit for Pepper knowing she'll probably hate the idea. I've always been shit at gift-giving, really. One day I might even tell you about the bunny.
The lake in front of the cabin on a foggy morning. For a city boy, I enjoy living in the woods quite a bit. It's peaceful. I have a feeling you'd like it too.
Then again, maybe Steve would hate it, who knows. Tony recognizes he's now projecting, and is writing to a Steve that only lives in his head. It's good, though.
A few weeks in, Tony has an overwhelming need to see and touch the shield. He has to move several cases in the back of the garage before finding the one it's stored in, but it's there. When Tony takes the shield out, he can't help but follow the scratches and bumps on the surface with a heavy heart. They made such a mess of things. Zemo played him like a puppet. He sees it now. Tony is ashamed of acting like a child doing a tantrum when he asked for Steve to leave the shield behind in Siberia.
Tony repairs the shield and then repaints it until it looks as good as new; he feels better for it.
"Why do you have Captain America's shield?"
Morgan is near the garage's door, watching him with interest. She's in pajamas, with Mr Elephant's neck in the crook of her arm, and a book in her other hand. Tony realizes it's bedtime and that he somehow skipped right over dinner.
Tony does his best to never lie to Morgan (or Pepper). There's usually a way to say things that is appropriate, and what Tony comes up with is, "he left it with me."
She approaches, always so curious about everything. "Will he come and get it?"
That's a good question. "I don't know, maybe."
Does Tony want to see Steve again? Here, in what he thinks of as his sanctuary? He hasn't thought about that. There's also the possibility of shipping the shield to the compound, or bringing it himself. He's uncertain he's ready for that, but maybe soon.
He sends into the ether a picture of Morgan proudly holding the shield. Look at that cutie!
Harlene used to say that recovery isn't linear. Tony's making headway with his issues with Steve—and with the end of being an Avenger—one text at a time, but there are setbacks.
Tony is sorting through cases in the back of the garage when he finds the second to last suit he made for Peter. The unfairness of it all, the cruel randomness of the Decimation, of who it took, hits hard all over again. Tony closes the case, leaves the garage, enters the house, and goes straight to the bar.
Pepper frowns when Tony pours three fingers of bourbon. "Are you okay?"
"No." Tony gulps down his drink and the heat of the alcohol in his throat is welcome. Getting out of his head when it eventually hits will be even better. He pours another glass, but Pepper stops him with a hand on his arm.
"Tony?" She's genuinely worried now. Tony finds himself pissed off, suddenly. At himself, mostly, but also at the world in general.
"I think I'm allowed one fucking night to wallow in self-pity, no?" he snaps. Pepper recoils, face closing off and Tony sighs, reaching for her hand. Thankfully, she allows the gesture. "I'm sorry. But I need to forget… everything. Just for one night."
"And your solution is to get drunk?"
Tony shrugs. "Worked in the past. Or getting high or sex, but that would require a lot more effort, as I'm missing critical elements while I have this." He lifts his glass in a fake toast. But he also understands Pepper's concerns. "I won't make a habit of it. Hell, I'll pour all the liquor that's left tomorrow, if you want."
Pepper tilts her head. "You swear this isn't the start of a spiral?"
"No, or I'll get help. You know my commitment not to become Howard." It would be his worst nightmare. "I'll be in my room. Don't let Morgan see me."
"All right, one night. And you promise to deal with your eventual hangover graciously, too," Pepper says, raising an eyebrow.
Tony can't help but laugh. She's an incredible woman. "Deal. No need to check on me unless FRIDAY tells you I'm in an ethylic coma. I kid, I kid," he hurries to add when Pepper loses the start of her own smile. "But you don't need to see me like that either." Even more, Tony is afraid of what could come out of his mouth when drunk.
"Fine." She squeezes his hand before taking Tony's glass, who almost protests. "Go brush your teeth, then tell Morgan you'll be working at bedtime."
The stab of guilt is almost enough to derail Tony's plans. Almost. "Good idea. Thank you."
"No problem. I'm sorry you feel you need this, Tony."
"I know. I know."
The hangover is terrible; he has not drunk like this in… well, almost ten years and boy does his liver hate it. But he truly wants to die only when he opens the phone after his first coffee and sees the texts he sent.
It's lame to have missed this feeling, right?
Drunk engineering time! Lolololol! (its always given mixed ersults)
Fuck
Watched old videos we were so good together :(((
No fucikng emojis keeboard on this crap phone. Sad face sad face
Another onoe of yr sins is being so goddamn attractive. Fuck you steve (I wish! Lmao face)
I miss you.
Sprry you lost bcuky and sam, it sucks
All I ever wantes aws to br your friend
Thank god they are for his eyes only.
It's a disappointment when Tony sits down at the table for lunch and Pepper takes away the three plates that finally won't be used. The black Audi with Nat, Steve and Scott is now gone, but the idea they dropped like an A-bomb remains. Fucking time travel, nothing less. Lang was embarrassing with his rules inspired by pop culture, but crazily enough, the underlying quantum physics is sound.
Another thing that sucker-punched Tony was seeing Steve in the flesh after thinking about him so much in the last few months. He ranted about how unfairly attractive Steve was in his drunk texts a few days ago, and it's as if it summoned the man to prove him right. Jesus weep: those tight pants with the black leather jacket? Should be criminal.
And Steve was so careful in how he talked and even touched Tony's arm. He seemed very earnest, declaring he was happy for Tony. But they were still asking for him to endanger everything, when Tony needs to think about Morgan first. He can't risk rolling the dice once more.
I'm a deeply selfish man, but you knew that. Tony texts later.
But it's my baby girl, Steve. I'm sorry.
It was good seeing you and Nat. I really had missed you.
Curiosity killed the cat. Or, alternately, Tony can't help looking into it anyway.
Pepper is right, I would not be able to rest. I can't bury what I figured out – TIME TRAVEL!!!! - and pretend I can't help with your stupid plan.
I better not regret this. Tomorrow, I'll go to the compound.
Steve is in front of the compound when Tony arrives, which he didn't expect. Tony's so in his head, nervous for no real reason, that he drives a bit too far and has to reverse for a few feet before he stops the R8 right by Steve. Steve looks discouraged, which Tony expected.
He rolls down the window. "Why the long face? Let me guess: he turned into a baby."
Steve nods before responding. "Among other things, yeah. What are you doing here?"
"That's the EPR Paradox." Tony gets out of the car, stands right by Steve. "Instead of pushing Lang through time, you might've wound up pushing time through Lang. It's tricky. Dangerous. Somebody should've cautioned you against it."
Steve agrees. "You did."
"Oh, did I?" He can't help acting up. Tony always uses overconfidence when he's nervous. "Thank god I'm here. Regardless, I fixed it." He holds up his right hand, showing up the device he designed to navigate the quantum realm. "A fully functioning Time-Space GPS. I just want peace." Steve smiles and Tony makes a peace sign with his fingers and honesty bleeds out, a culmination of all the soul-searching he did in the last years and weeks. He closes the car's door. "Turns out, resentment is corrosive, and I hate it."
"Me too." Steve looks incredibly soft, and the exchange is soothing.
But there are terms to this truce and the adventure that they are about to embark on. "We got a shot at getting these stones, but I gotta tell you my priorities: Bring back what we lost? I hope, yes. Keep what I got? I have to, at all costs. And… maybe not die trying will be nice."
"Sounds like a deal." Steve extends his hand and Tony enthusiastically meets him to shake on it.
This is going so well, and even just touching Steve like this made heat gather in Tony's stomach. Now that he's on a roll, Tony opens the R8's trunk and pulls the shield out. He presents it to Steve, who sighs and hesitates.
"Tony, I don't know."
He shouldn't be self-conscious to take the shield for words Tony said in anger when—he now admits—he acted like a child. And the shield was never his, or Howards. It was always Steve's.
"Why? He made it for you. Plus, honestly, I have to get it out of the garage before Morgan takes it sledding."
Finally, Steve accepts the shield, and fits it on his arm, where it always should have remained. He looks good with it, smiles down at it. "Thank you, Tony."
It's almost uncomfortable and too dramatic, and Tony uses another well-used distraction tactic: jokes. "Will you keep that a little quiet? Didn't bring one for the whole team." Speaking of… we're getting the whole team, yeah?" Tony sure hopes so.
"We're working on that right now."
It's great to see Nebula again and to know that, no matter what happens, Rhodey is here. The state Thor is in is heartbreaking, and Natasha brought Clint back. Tony gets to work with Lang, Bruce and a surprisingly insightful raccoon too.
Tony was confident his Time-Space GPS would work, but seeing Clint coming back shaken from the test, with his son's baseball glove, puts everything in perspective. Yes, Tony got lucky with Morgan, but so many people lost a lot. Lost their own babies.
It's time to get to work and figure out this Time Heist properly.
They are working well together, figuring out a plan. As dear as Tony's new life is to him, it's exhilarating. After the breakthrough they have for the year 2012—thank you Natasha!—they get everyone in the compound's conference room and hash it out.
What will the teams be for each stone, who goes where (and when!), and it's unfolding beautifully. Tony is sitting back in his chair as Bruce and Scott recap the whole thing, and his eyes are fixed on Steve, who is listening with rapt attention. The little groove between his eyebrows is adorable. By habit, Tony is fiddling with the flip phone, and he types under the table.
I'm glad we're on the same team for this. Seems fitting.
He hits send. What Tony did not prepare for is the chime that follows. From the other side of the room, where Steve is. Tony freezes, dread spreading in his gut. No. It can't be that Steve received all the texts, right? It might be Tony's overactive and paranoid imagination, but Steve suddenly looks a lot more tense. But there's an easy way to confirm his suspicion.
Are you fucking serious? Tony types and then sends.
Unfortunately, the chime sounds again. Steve turns big shocked eyes his way, looking guilty as hell, and Tony can't take this. His cheeks are burning with embarrassment as he stands up, blood now beating in his ears and drowning everything else. It draws everyone's attention to him, of course. Tony can't even think of a plausible explanation for leaving, so he doesn't say a word as he strides for the door.
Rhodey tries to stop him. "Tony?"
He avoids his concerned friend and walks even faster when he hears Steve speak up. "Tony!"
Oh, hell no. Anger and embarrassment are a terrible mix, and Tony is on the verge of lashing off. Again. Which will break the team, again, just as they have a plan to save half of the universe. He can't let that happen, as hurt as he is. Out of the conference room Tony is speed walking towards the private quarters.
"Tony, wait, please."
Now that he's thinking about it, it feels obvious. Tony drunkenly types that he misses the Avengers, how good they were together, and a few days later they come to him after almost five years of radio silence. He tells Steve that he's figured out time travel and will come to the compound the day after, and the man is outside, waiting for him. Tony's practically in the corridor to his room when Steve—still following him—speaks up again.
"I didn't read them."
It takes a few more steps before Tony processes the words, though they make little sense. It makes him slow down, and Steve insists.
"Tony, please. Let me explain."
"Explain!" Tony almost spits it out as he turns around. Steve has stopped and Tony goes on the offensive, walking to him. "What is there to explain?" He feels like snarling and hates feeling this vulnerable.
Steve has no right having big tragic eyes right now, as if he's the wounded party.
"If I'd seen the first text in time, I would have answered. But I read it, and the ones the second time you reached out, a few days too late. By then it was clear you didn't really expect me to read the messages, that they were personal."
Tony is trying to remember what he said and can't, which is killing him (and is no less embarrassing).
"Why didn't you tell me, then?" Tony immediately realizes the parallels to their last big fight and huffs in non-amusement. "Oh, hey, a recurring theme!"
It's as if Tony delivered a physical blow, making Steve recoil a bit as he closes his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. But if I'd said something, you might have stopped."
Tony is angry Steve took the decision from him. "You don't know that!"
Steve always had a finely tuned bullshit detector, and he tilts his head. "Are you saying you would have continued texting if I'd answered?"
"It depends." Steve's expression is disbelieving and Tony isn't happy but has to agree. "Fine, I most probably would have stopped. What is it to you?"
"Do you know what I've been doing for the last four years?" Steve asks, the questions coming out of nowhere.
He doesn't know why he allows the conversation to continue, but Tony plays along. "Lying low during your probation." He kept an eye out, and there were very few sightings of Captain America, and only in major events sanctioned by the authorities.
"That, and I've led a group. Therapy sessions, to deal with the effects of the Decimation."
Steve knows a lot about grief, more than most. But leading a group? "You? Helping people cope with grief?"
"That's the idea."
Tony's jaw almost unhinges with shock. "But you've systematically refused to deal with anything that has ever happened to you!"
"Ouch," Steve says, touching his chest with a grimace. "Touché. But I've been trying to help people deal with their own emotions and traumas. And I felt those texts were helping you. I didn't want you to stop."
The selfless abnegation irks Tony even more: it feels like pity. But it doesn't explain everything.
"So instead of putting the phone back in a box or a drawer where it had been, you've kept it on yourself? What the hell?"
"Tony, I've had this phone on me for seven years. Always. I missed the first texts because I had to go with Carol off-world for a few days. When I came back, I realized I'd missed my window to say something."
"No, you just didn't have the balls to say something when it was inconvenient for you," Tony argues, hitting Steve's chest with his pointer finger. "To me. Again. Jesus, Steve!"
"I know, I know. I always do the wrong thing when it comes to you. I overthink everything. You were finally reaching out, and I didn't want you to stop. So instead of telling you, I cherished every chime. I was so curious it was like torture, but I read none of those texts."
Tony doesn't know what to do with that. "Your constant self-righteousness and desire to aspire to martyrdom astounds me."
"It's probably my Catholic upbringing." It's said with a straight face, and Tony refuses to be amused.
There's a vibration in Tony's pocket from his regular phone, then another. He fishes it out and sees notifications from Rhodey.
What the hell just happened?
Do I need to kick his ass? I will.
Tony cannot help but to smile and he raises his phone to show Steve. "You're lucky I'm not sending War Machine after you."
"I can probably take on War Machine," Steve says, to which Tony huffs in disbelief. "But James Rhodes would destroy me and scorch the earth afterwards, so please don't."
"Maybe I should." All of Tony's anger is quickly turning into bitter disappointment and sadness.
He texts Rhodey: He hurt my feelings, what is new. I'll get over it. Stand by on that offer, though.
Once sent, Tony rubs the bridge of his nose. "Fuck. Steve, I don't know what to do with this.
"I'm so sorry. I swear on my mother's memory that hurting you, while doing this or before, is the last thing I ever wished for."
"Right." The worst is that Tony believes it. Steve Rogers can be petty, quick to anger, and bites back when cornered, but he's not cruel on purpose (except that time with Loki's scepter).
Steve rubs the back of his neck. "I still did. I still do. As they say, Hell is paved with good intentions. I hope you can one day forgive me."
It took seven years to get over the previous hurdle, which was way too long. Tony suddenly needs to go to the bottom of this mess right the fuck now.
"It's simple! I need for you to stop hiding things from me."
"It always felt a lot more complicated than that. But yes, I get it."
They need to communicate more, or this Avengers revival will be a total mess. And if Tony is honest, he's been hiding things too. Like every text on that phone. Maybe the proper test, to see if they can make it work, is sharing them, for real.
They're a few feet from Steve's suite, and Tony points at his door. "Can we go in? I have an idea."
"Of course." Steve gestures for Tony to take the lead, which he does.
FRIDAY opens the door and Tony steps into the small lounge area of the suite. The walls are bare, but there are a dozen frames on the TV stand and on the bookcase's shelves. It's pictures of the Commandos mixed with some of the Avengers, and Tony spots a portrait of Peggy, too. There's a shot of Barnes and Wilson, and Tony can't see much in the background, but they must have taken it in Wakanda. To his surprise, there's also a candid picture of him, Steve, and Natasha, laughing together. It's from a gala or ceremony, as they're in tuxes and Nat is wearing a long black dress.
"It was the New York Junior League's Annual Winter Ball," Steve says. Oh, right, it comes back to Tony now. A fun night indeed. "Before I left for Washington. I often wonder what would have happened if I'd refused that assignment."
It's a good question. Maybe they would have grown closer as a team, instead of growing apart. But then again… "Project Insight would have killed us all."
Steve huffs. "Yeah, probably."
Tony goes to the couch and sits down, followed by Steve. His idea might be a disaster, but can the situation be worse than now?
"So, we're shit at communicating," Tony starts.
"It's very possible." Steve's smile is wry. "I promise to do better."
"I appreciate that. But it's not all on you." Tony holds up the phone. "Case in point. I said things on here that you deserved to know. I should have made more of an effort to reach out for real."
Steve looks conflicted. "I—"
Tony raises his hand and interrupts him. "Some of it is embarrassing, but it's not the first time I've acted like a fool." He tilts his head. "You don't wish to see them, now with permission?"
"I do. Really?"
"I don't want any secrets between us. Especially not with what we're about to do."
Slowly, Steve nods. "All right. Thank you. It means a lot."
"One condition," Tony adds. "You read and react to them right now. I don't care if it's just rolling your eyes. But you need to be honest."
"That's fair. And in that spirit, I have something to say of my own when we're done." Somehow, Steve looks nervous, and Tony is infinitely curious. It makes the experiment feel less one-sided, which he likes.
"It's a deal."
"So I just—" Steve is fiddling with his phone.
Tony nods. "Go for it."
Steve clears his throat. "Just found this! Possibly wisdom comes with age, but… I regret not using it. Maybe we could have cleared the air before it was too late." Steve stares at the phone, then looks up. "I don't think you realize how much I hoped you would reach out then, and what it meant to me that you did, even years later. It's why I kept the phone. And that I missed this message, because I was out in space was a blow."
That's another thing that Tony is curious about. "Why did you have to go off-world, by the way?"
Steve smiles. "Politics. I'll tell you all about it later, okay? But yeah. I wished you'd used the phone, but I should have used it too."
"True."
After a nod, Steve reads the next message. "I should have been kinder to you. It wasn't your fault Howard used you to demean me, and you paid for my resentment. I'm sorry." It makes Tony squirm. Steve looks up at him, eyebrows furrowed. "I hate knowing that Howard weaponized me like that. If we had Pym particles to spare, I'd make a trip to give him a piece of my mind."
It surprises a laugh out of Tony. "Oh, I'd love to see that."
Steve smiles. "We had a rough start, Tony, but you've been very kind. You opened your home to us, made certain we were comfortable, well equipped—"
"That's just stuff."
"You sell yourself short, as always." He goes back to the texts. "But it really got on my nerve that you were just as good as he always said. Fuck you, Rogers, for making all of us mortals look bad! (kidding!). Well, that's one more example of you being kind. We both know I've fucked up plenty." Steve continues with the next text. "That's another thing that didn't help us: by the time we understood each other, there were already so many mishaps. Yes, that's true. I didn't understand you for a long time. I was very defensive as a result."
"Pulling pigtails is my love language," Tony says with a wink. And boy, did he keep doing it with Steve, but that's another thing entirely.
Steve smiles too. "I wish I understood that earlier, yes."
Something is bugging Tony. "Earlier, you said that you saw the messages after those, correct?"
"Yes."
"I don't get why you didn't answer. It's not that personal." A bit embarrassing, maybe, but they could have come back from it with a good joke.
"Howard always was a mine field between us. It felt very personal, and I didn't want you to stop."
Said like that… "Okay. So let's continue," Tony says with a rolling motion of his hand.
"Morgan drew a picture of the two of us today. We're battling a big hamster, it's awesome. Oh, wait." Steve smiles, seeing the picture Tony sent. "Pretty good for a 4 years old, right?, It's great, I love it. Do you like kids?, I don't have a lot of experience with them, to be honest. But yes, I like kids. I'm sure you'd love her, she's the best. So smart, funny, and with a big heart. She sounds just like you, and yes, I met her for a few minutes and I do love her. I am so grateful to have her in my life. " Steve looks up at Tony. "I'm happy she is. Morgan's wonderful."
It's touching, Tony won't lie, complimenting his baby girl generates automatic brownie points. "She really is."
Steve frowns at the phone. "Is that a new suit? Oh. Look at me, making a 600 million dollar suit for Pepper knowing she'll probably hate the idea. An armor for Pepper?"
"Yes. She wore the Iron Man suit once—"
"She did?"
Tony nods. "Yes, when Killian attacked the Malibu house. I ordered the suit to protect her—"
"Of course you did," Steve says with a small smile.
"It made sense. She ended up saving me from debris, which was very hot. I figured that she might be amenable to her own suit, in this troubled world and with Morgan to think of."
Steve goes back to the texts. " I've always been shit at gift-giving, really. One day I might even tell you about the bunny. A bunny?"
"A big plushy. There must be images somewhere on my servers. It disappeared in that attack. Go on."
"That's a beautiful picture." Steve turns the phone, and it's fog on the lake in front of the cabin. "For a city boy, I enjoy living in the woods quite a bit. It's peaceful. I have a feeling you'd like it too. It is a gorgeous house, for sure."
It's as if Steve is tip toeing and Tony laughs. "From your face, you're trying not to hurt my feelings. It's okay if it's not for you."
"For a vacation? Definitely, I'd enjoy it a lot. But I'm a city boy too."
"Fair enough." Tony likes the back and forth they've established. It's probably the most honest they've ever been with each other.
Steve's eyes go soft when he goes back to the phone. "A cutie indeed."
Tony leans in and sees it's Morgan and the shield, making him smile. His princess is the best. But he also knows what is to come with the next message—the drunk texting—and winces. "Ah, right. This is the embarrassing part." He almost tells Steve to skip them.
"We can stop—"
"No, no. I assume them. It was a bad day, and I fell into a bottle. After clearing it with Pepper, though," Tony doesn't know why it's important to share this. It's irresponsible behavior nonetheless, Steve will judge anyway. "Come on, take it off like a bandaid."
"All right." Steve breathes in. "It's lame to have missed this feeling, right? " He pauses right off the bat. "You know what? No, it isn't lame. I've missed the feeling, too. Okay, so what's next? Drunk engineering time! Lol? (its always given mixed results)" Steve stumbles on the acronym, but he's smiling.
"This time it produced a pretty nifty new encryption method," Tony boasts.
"Good." Steve frowns, next. "Fuck. Watched old videos we were so good together." Steve's mouth turns down. "Yeah, we were. No fucking emojis keyboard on this crap phone. Sad face sad face." He snorts in amusement before his eyes skim on the next text and he freezes for a second. "Another one of your sins is being so goddamn attractive. Fuck you steve (I wish! Lmao face)."
Yeah, that's the embarrassing part indeed. "Don't go all modest on me, there, hot stuff," Tony teases to hide his own malaise. Steve looks up, eyes wide. He doesn't look disgusted, but clearly shocked. "Go on," Tony urges.
"I miss you." Steve reads it with a strangled voice, then looks up again. His eyes are a strikingly stormy blue and incredibly earnest. "I've missed you too. So much."
That makes Tony all squirmy in a nice way. "Good to know."
"Sorry you lost Bucky and Sam, it sucks." Steve nods. "It does. I miss them. All I ever wanted was to be your friend. Oh, Tony."
The feeling is now a lot more uncomfortable and Tony hides his face. "Ugh. Ignore that. I'm sorry."
Tony feels a soft touch to his forearm. "We were friends, Tony! I could have been a better one to you, for sure. But we were. We are."
It makes Tony feel better. "Okay. Thanks. Let's finish this. I'm getting hives."
"I'm a deeply selfish man, but you knew that." Ah, the messages after Steve, Nat and Scott came to the cabin. Steve's reaction surprises him. "Bullshit." It's pointed, as if he's offended on Tony's behalf. "You're not selfish at all." When Tony huffs, Steve continues. "You aren't. But it's my baby girl, Steve. I'm sorry. It was good seeing you and Nat. I really had missed you. I know how much is on the line, Tony. And I'd missed you so much too, it was great seeing you that day."
"So just to be certain… Since you hadn't read my texts, it's not why you showed up?" Tony asks.
"No. Scott came to us, right out of the quantum realm, and we knew we needed you to figure it out." Steve pauses. "But… well, since you were texting, I hoped you wouldn't dismiss us outright."
"Fair enough. Go on, there are just a few now."
"Pepper is right, I would not be able to rest. I can't bury what I figured out – time travel! - and pretend I can't help with your stupid plan. I better not regret this. Tomorrow, I'll go to the compound. Thank you so much Tony. We couldn't have done it without you, and I will do everything so that you don't regret it."
"I sure hope so."
"I'm glad we're on the same team for this. Seems fitting."
"And here we are. That's the one earlier." The text that revealed that Steve had the phone.
"I'm glad we're on the same team, too. God, Tony, I'm so sorry that I hurt you again by not telling you I kept the phone."
Tony sighs. "It's okay. We just cleared the air, no?" It's surprisingly freeing, and even though it was a lot of emotions in a short amount of time. Tony feels better about it.
"Yes. Thank you. It means a lot. Thanks for trusting me."
"I think it would have been nice if you'd answered. I don't think I would have resisted messaging you."
Steve closes the phone and shakes his head with a self-depreciating expression. "I made the wrong call. Again."
"For a tactical genius in the field, you're just as bad as I am with interpersonal shit."
"Worse. It's embarrassing, really. And the more I care, the worse I fuck up."
"Wow, you must have cared a lot more than I thought." Tony makes his tone light and smirks.
He doesn't want for it to be a dig, but more like a joke, to diffuse the last of the tension between them. To his surprise, Steve stays serious, nodding. He's examining Tony's face, as if looking for an answer.
"When we began, I told you I had something to say of my own." He's cautious, as if threading on ice and afraid it will splinter.
Tony is curious as hell, but he doesn't want to shatter this moment either. "You don't have to."
"I think I do. Secrets between us tend to blow up at the worst moment. This is not bad," Steve adds as Tony starts to frown. More secrets? Jesus. "It's about me, and if it excuses nothing, I think it explains a few things." Steve takes a deep breath, bracing himself, and looks Tony in the eyes. "As I said, the more I care, the worse I fuck up. And since I've been in love with you for years, I'm not surprised I got it all wrong."
The shock makes Tony stare, certain he didn't hear that right. What? He opens his mouth but shuts it closed, temporarily speechless.
Steve touches his own chest, eyes pleading. "It's on me. How I feel. You're married, with a family, and I am so happy for you. That's the honest truth. I know we can only be friends. But I hope you understand when I tell you that I always cared, often too much. I'm terrible when it comes to talking to people I am attracted to, even worse when there are feelings involved. It was the perfect storm."
Tony still can't wrap his mind around that revelation. He would have noticed, no? "Since when?"
"I had a crush on you pretty much from the start. I realized I loved you maybe a year in." Steve shrugs and he sounds matter of fact, as if this isn't world changing.
"Ten years!" Tony exclaims. "And we didn't speak for seven of those!"
Steve sighs. "I know."
"No." Tony shakes his head. It can't be true.
"What?"
"You think you love me, but you really don't. It's a defense mechanism. You fixate on something you think is impossible, and use that to not get out there and find actual happiness. Because deep down you don't want real attachment."
Steve's eyebrows have been steadily rising on his forehead through Tony's rant. "You assume you know my feelings better than I do?"
"Yes."
To Tony's surprise, Steve throws his head back and laughs. "Oh my god, you are ridiculous." His smile makes lines fan out near his eyes. "You think loving you is convenient? Tony, it has been growing for a decade. I think I'm doing better, and then I see you—on TV, in a magazine, god forbid in person—and you steal all the breath out of my chest again. Every single day, I go through moments that we got right and ones that we got wrong. I'm not saying it's healthy, you're right about that, but I do love you."
"You wouldn't want me for real." It's impossible, right? Steve loves an idea of him, like Tony has loved an idea of Steve for years, too.
"Oh, Tony. I would, so much." It sounds wistful, the expression on Steve's face so fond and soft that it twists something inside of Tony. When Steve continues, it's quietly resigned. "But as I said, it's on me. Don't worry about it. Being your friend is more than enough."
"I'm getting a divorce," Tony blurts out, and Steve's eyes widen. "Pepper and I have been separated for six months now. We're still living together for Morgan."
"Oh." Steve is obviously shocked.
"In the spirit of full disclosure, I've had a crush on you, too. I won't say love because it's complicated. But it could be, with time, I think." It was there, before Siberia. And it is very close to being love again, but he wants to be perfectly honest. They both deserve that much.
"Really?"
Tony dares to reach out for Steve's cheek, who turns into the touch immediately, kissing Tony's wrist. It sends a shockwave in Tony's body, making butterflies flutter in his chest. If that isn't proof that love is in the cards, he doesn't know what is. "Yes."
"That's wonderful." Steve covers Tony's hand with his before gently pulling it down to kiss Tony's knuckles. His blue eyes are warm, full to the brim with emotion. "I'll do everything I can to make you happy, Tony. I promise."
"How about we start with one date and see how it goes from there?"
Steve smiles. "All right."
"So let's save the universe, then get on it."
Tony leans in for a small chaste kiss on the lips, a promise for what is coming. It's soft and perfect.
"I can't wait," Steve breathes out, speaking for them both.
(Author's notes: This is the story I meant to write with the prompt that was given. But you'll be pleased to know, I hope, what would come next: the Time Heist goes without a hitch, Tony doesn't die and brings Natasha back on top, and after Steve neatly returns the stones in their proper timelines, he comes back. Steve and Tony then have a wonderful first date, and they then live happily ever after.)