Chapter Text
It was a name like any other name, and by that, he meant it had letters and was words that were meant to refer to a person. He hadn't really heard a last name like it before, not in this area of Seattle, but its not like he was one to judge. His last name was Brotzman, so... whatever. It's not like they were around to make judgments anyways. That was a job for whoever took care of the next part of things.
But, it was just... a name.
Which didn't explain why it felt like his stomach was twisting up looking at it.
"Any guesses, Mr. Toad?"
Todd rolled his eyes, slumping back on the park bench. "No."
The woman next to him groaned dramatically and then shoved his shoulder, pushing him into the metal armrest. Todd turned to her with a glare, but didn't say anything.
"Come on, Todd. You've been pissy all week. And I'm bored... so... guess." She waved her hand out at the busy park, people and kids and dogs and so much activity that it made Todd's head spin. He crossed his arms over his chest and huffed.
"Fuck off. Im tired and I'm pissy because that dickhead at the convenience store fired me, and Dorian is literally going to stab me a million times if I'm late on rent again. I cant do the homeless thing again. I'm pretty sure i still have lice from last time." He gave a pointed scratch of his scalp. "What's the point of being an undead being if we still have to pay rent?"
Another dramatic groan. "I mean you don't have to. You could just do what I do."
"Yeah, because squatting in some dead guy's house is the epitome of good living... Didn't that guy shoot you last week when he found you in his shower?"
Tina waved her hand before shoving her thumb in her mouth, nibbling on the nail. "Barely. He was so coked up he shot like six times before actually landing one in my shoulder, and, besides, he didn't even come back until I was there for three beautiful, luxurious weeks of penthouse living, and maybe you can underestimate the value of good wayer pressure, but i definitely cannot. I'm still counting that as a win. Plus, I'm free, baby cakes. No putting up with Mr. Stick-Up-His-Ass to pay for it. I know you just wanna keep pretending that you're still a part of all this, but like.. you're dead, my froggy little friend. It's time to live a little."
Tina pulled a joint out of her pocket and lit up, ignoring the glares from the moms on the playground across from them. She offered it to Todd, who shook his head.
"What kinda name is See-jelly anyways?" Tina blew a cloud of smoke out, glancing over at the post-it in Todd's hand.
"I think it's pronounced like Ch-elly. My guess is some kind of Eastern European." Todd twisted his wrist, checking his watch again for the hundredth time in two minutes. Still five to go before this S. Cjelli was going to die.
"Oh shit! You think he could be... like... a spy? Like some cold war undercover sleeper agent stuff? Duuuude, that'd be fucking wild. What if we stopped some Russian takeover when this guys dies?" Tina's eyes were already red. He suspected the joint in her hand was far from her first of the day. He rolled his eyes and grabbed it from her fingers, stubbing it out on the bench before shoving it in his pocket. "Hey, hey, hey! Uh-uh, party foul! I wasn't done with that!" Tina slapped him on the arm, trying to wriggle into his jacket pockets, which she apparently hadn't realized weren't the pants pocket he put the joint in.
"Yeah, you were. Because last time I let you start ranting about sleeper agents and ninjas and CIA agents kidnapping reapers in broad daylight, you almost stabbed that guy in the mall, and then Hobbs had to stick you on probation for a week. Which meant I had to babysit. And you're annoying." He jabbed her in the nose to make his point. She scrunched her face up and rolled her eyes before quickly jamming her finger in her mouth and then shoving it into his ear. "God! Fuck! Would you-"
"Ooh! That one! It's gotta be that one!" Tina still had a finger in his ear, but she was staring across the parking lot at a guy halfway under his car, the back end jacked up as he apparently struggled to change his tire.
Todd groaned, stomach turning already. "Ugh. Seriously? Not another one of these." He shook his head, glancing back at the post it. It was almost time. Which meant car pancake was probably this Cjelli guy's fate. It was too crunchy. Todd shoved Tina off before standing up from the bench, his back popping obnoxiously. "Alright, well... duty calls."
Tina snorted, wrapping her hands around his waist in a way that would have been suggestive on anyone else, but Todd could feel the fingers squirreling into his pocket, digging for the end of the joint. Todd let it happen and Tina whooped victoriously as she pulled it out, slapping his ass as she let him go. Todd shook his head.
"You're such a freak."
Tina grinned, tipping the front of her backwards cap at him in a mocking salute. "You're welcome, shithead."
Todd made his way across the park, dodging a loose screaming child with a nerf gun and a pair of dogs fighting over a nasty looking rope toy before he reached the edge of the parking lot and the bottom half of the man sticking out from the car. He could see now up close the jack straining under the weight, the rust built up along the aging joints and locks. Todd took a last look at his post it, the name staring back at him, checked the time and then shoved the paper in his back pocket. He was about to lean down to brush his hand over the man's leg when a voice came from down the sidewalk.
"Andrew! Get out from under that damn car! What did I tell you?!"
The man jerked up, smacking his head on the underside of the car before pulling out from under it, and the second he did, the jack snapped, dropping the car to the ground with a resounding thud. The woman on the sidewalk yelped angrily, coming up to smack the man in the leg.
"Oh! My! God! You see! You could have died, you damn idiot! I fucking told you!"
Todd took a step back, frowning for a moment at the exchange. His watch was still half a minute away from the E.T.D. and if this Andrew wasn't his guy, then...
He looked back over at Tina who was in the middle of an argument with some Karen-haired woman, looking absolutely bored to death... or life... or whatever. No help there.
He kept looking, eyes running over the activity, his short experience with this job telling him what to look for, those subtle dangers lying in wait for just the right moment. But nothing seemed out of place.
Maybe this Cjelli guy wasn't showing up to his appointment.
"You're dead!"
Or maybe not.
Todd jerked his head towards the grating accent emanating from a grizzled, rough looking woman across the street.
A grizzled, rough-looking woman holding a gun.
Or rather, pointing a gun angrily at a guy in the middle of the road doing his best to serpentine around the potential threat of bullets, while also dodging the cars that didn't seem too bothered that a woman was holding a gun on the side of the street or that some whacko was jumping around, playing a strange game of chicken as they sped by.
"No, no! Quite alive, I assure you, and actually, I think I would much prefer to keep it that way, if it's all the same to you!" The man shouted back, Britishly, twisting clumsily out of the way of a bus. Todd started to sprint over. One of these weirdos had to be his mark.
"I have to kill you, so just... UGH! STOP MOVING SO MUCH!" The woman jerked the gun aggressively, stalking down into the street, not seeming to pay attention to the cars racing past like she wasn't there.
This was... weird. Even for him, the dead, undead guy that snatched people's souls up before they died. Something felt... off. But he couldn't put his finger on what.
Well, he had to put his finger on something, since the time on his post-it was getting quickly closer. He just needed to know which one of these people was S. Cjelli because car accident souls got very messy, very fast.
"Cjelli!" He shouted. It wasn't exactly subtle, but it was usually a pretty efficient way to narrow down his mark.
He didn't expect the violently startled reaction from the car-dodging man, his eyes suddenly wide with more fear than he had facing down the gun-toting maniac across the street. His eyes darted around, searching in panic, taking one step back, and then another, right into the path of an oncoming work truck. Todd went to take a step forward, he needed to get the guy before it could happen, but a car zipped past before he could step off the curb and he was going to be too late. He squeezed his eyes closed instinctively, waiting for the crunch that didn't come and when he opened his eyes, both the man and the woman were gone.
His watch beeped as the E.T.D. arrived.
But no death. No body. No Cjelli.
Fuck.