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During some rare time off, Charon and Hermes were enjoying some rare downtime, watching the butterflies of Elysium dance through the fog of the river Lethe.
“Haha, and then Dio spit his wine out!” Hermes cackled, getting a low noise of amusement from his companion.
Charon’s laughter rang out, a rare thing to anyone not named Hermes. He treasured every time he heard it.
“Aphrodite was infuriated any of the others thought her job was easy, but everyone seemed convinced theirs was the hardest. So the argument kept getting worse and worse, then Athena made a comment that stuck with me. She said ‘then why don’t you try to do each other’s jobs for a short time?’. I’m pretty sure she was joking, but it kinda stuck with me.
“I don’t even know if we COULD switch jobs for the day!” He finished up, laughing. “It’d have been fun to try though!”
Charon tilted his head and made a low noise, seemingly staring at nothing. He eventually made a curious sound while motioning Hermes closer.
“You think we could if you could fly like me?” Hermes asked with his eyes widening. “Well, I guess why not – it’s not like either of us use any of our powers, strictly speaking – I fly messages around, you row a boat. The river won’t hurt me if I take over for a bit?”
A low, soft noise was his answer, which made Hermes grin.
“Well then, my boots are the answer! Hephaestus made them for me when I was still quite young – they resize as needed, gave me flight (while my head wings were still too small to do so), helped me steer, and add a tiny bit more speed and maneuverability then I’d have without them, so I keep using them.” Hermes said through a grin.
He kicked a foot to toss off his boot prove it. It hovered independently where it landed, though made no other movements. Charon was stuck staring at dainty-looking ankles adorned with tiny wings, much smaller than those on the boots.
“As you can see, I grew my own!” He laughed, “But the ones on the boots are bigger so help my flight more. They’re probably also strong enough to gift flight to anyone, but I’ve never tested that. Let’s pull over to the shore over there, and you can try them on!”
Charon rowed them over, the speed at which he rowed implying his own interest in the idea. Once upon the shore, Hermes again removed his boots.
“Alright boss, give me your foot” Hermes said gingerly while holding his winged boots, but Charon still stared at them not too sure about this idea. “Come on, boss! Trust me, will you? Can’t you not trust this face?” He said, jutting his lower lip out, pouting. Charon sighed as if he wasn’t completely charmed by the winged god.
Charon lifted his chiton just enough for his bare feet to be visible. The moment they’re unhidden Hermes shoved his winged boots on Charon’s feet. At first they were a tight fit, but Hermes was right- they immediately shaped themselves to Charon’s feet, convenient since his were far bigger than Hermes’.
“There you go! Now, why don’t you try them out?” Hermes said content, sitting back on his haunches as he proudly stared at the leather boots on Charon’s feet.
It was an odd sensation, but somehow the wings moved on Charon’s command. He tilted his head curiously at this fact, twisting his ankle as he observed the colorful wings.
“Suits you, eh! Come on, let's get you standing up,”
Standing up was a little more difficult, and so was moving around with his winged feet. He had to shift his body weight to not fall on his face, but after a while Charon got used to it- he wasn’t as dexterous as the little god, but it was nothing to scoff at.
“Ha,” Hermes chuckled softly, elaborating when Charon shot him a weird look. “Oh, nothing boss. It’s just… I just imagined you, doing my job- you know? delivering messages, running all around Olympus… It’s just a funny thought.”
Charon waved his hand off, making mention of how ridiculous of an idea that would be.
“Yeah… you’re right. I don't think you’re up to my job, after all.”
This made the boatman pause just as he was crouching down and getting ready to take off the winged boots. He looked up to Hermes who had that devil smile on his face, knowing very well what he was doing. A challenge.
Charon always took the bait.
He grumbled, making a joke about how the boots would make it way easier to do his job. He hissed a joke through his teeth, pointing how Hermes wouldn’t be able to stand Charon’s job.
“Oh yeah? Seems pretty easy. Just standing on a boat and rowing all day. Doesn’t seem too hard,” Hermes chuckled, in reality he didn’t consider Charon’s job to be easy, he was just teasing, further bait on this game of his.
After more jokes and more teasing, an agreement was made: Charon and Hermes would switch jobs starting right then, Charon was now Olympus official messenger, and Hermes was the ferryman of souls.
Or, at least for twenty-four hours.
Charon gave Hermes his oar and his obol bag, while Hermes gave Charon his messenger satchel (with a very confused Chelly inside). They said goodbye one last time, and parted ways, both of them sure that they would be able to complete their lover’s job without a hassle.
How hard could it be, after all?
“I have concerns.”
Charon just sighed in frustration as he shoved the letter up on Dionysus’ face, trying to ignore the glares from the nymphs and demigods around him, their faces crunched up in obvious disgust.
“I thought your brother was the messenger,” one of the nymphs said, gluing herself to Dionysus’ side. “Is this your brother…?”
“Yeah uh- what happened to Hermes?” Dionysus asked, suddenly anxious at the implication that something must have happened.
“Oh! I bet it’s because of that argument everybody had the other day, eh? about their jobs being so hard? Aha, bet,” Dionysus finally plucked the scroll from Charon’s hands, now far more relaxed knowing that it was just a temporary thing. “Good luck with that!”
Even when Dionysus’ attitude shifted, everybody else stared daggers at him, but Charon ignored them. The message was delivered, his job was done with Dionysus.
About a dozen more gods to go…
The next one in his list was the goddess Aphrodite. She should be in Olympus, but navigating the mountaintop was a challenge in itself. Locating Dionysus had been frustrating, with so many twisting hallways and rooms that all looked the same. Was this how Hermes felt when he navigated the Underworld? to Charon the realm of the dead was so familiar, he could navigate it with his eyes closed, but Hermes would always get lost. Now he knew how the little winged god felt, all the bright colors giving the boatman a headache.
Thankfully Aphrodite wasn’t that hard to locate, the stench of perfume flooding Charon’s nose as he approached her chamber. The goddess took a look at him, clearly surprised at his presence. But she smiled dangerously and leaned back on her chaise, playing with her hair as Charon started digging through the satchel.
“My, my! If it isn’t our dear ferryman! What brings you here to Olympus?” Charon ignored her, still digging through Hermes’ bag, his fingers brushing through Chelly’s hard chell. “Not too common to have Chthonic gods here in our domain. Are you lost, dear?”
Finally he pulled the scroll, wordlessly presenting it to Aphrodite.
“Oh goodness, is our dear Hermes taking a day off? Is our dear little bird slacking on his duties?” She chuckled, taking the scroll from him and still goading Charon. “Well, do say hi to Hermes when you see him!”
Charon scoffed and left Aphrodite behind, the perfume clinging into his dark clothes.
Just as Charon tried to cross Aphrodite from the list of people to deliver with, about ten other people appeared on his list out of nowhere- messages that needed to be retrieved from them and delivered ASAP. All the meanwhile Chelly stared at him with judgement on her little beady black eyes. His feet started to hurt, and just in the time Charon was considering his options about other three names popped on his list.
This was going to be a very long day.
This was going to be a very, very long day.
One of Hermes’ favorite parts of his normal duties was traveling everywhere and meeting new people. Being a boatman… sure, he went to places and met people, alright, but those people rarely talked back, far more upset at the fact they were dead now. The places- they were all in the Underworld, and as much as he loved hanging out in Hades’ domain during peaceful times, Hermes was starting to miss the fresh air.
Not to mention, he kept getting lost.
Somehow he managed to get back to the temple of Styx, and a new batch of souls was already waiting for him. Normally he was on the other side of this interaction, watching as his dear boatman was paid passage to the Underworld, chatting his ear off as Hermes gossiped and talked about everything he had seen that day.
Now, however, he was alone and he was the boatman for the day. The shades looked at him strange but said nothing nonetheless, didn’t even seem to care about Hermes explaining that no no, he is the boatman just for today- the dear handsome boatman will be back tomorrow, they get the exclusive and only once in a lifetime Hermes experience-
They didn’t care, obviously. They had far more important things to think about, like the fact that they were, well, dead.
The shades remained silent just as Hermes rowed the boat, hoping this time he could make it to the House of Hades without too much trouble. But- once again, while Hermes likes to think he has a great internal compass, the Underworld always made him confused, all the new shifting chambers and corridors. Charon somehow never got lost and Hermes was sure he saw that statue thrice already.
The shades started to grow restless when Hermes somehow entered Elysium once again, when they were moving from Asphodel to Tartarus.
“U-um! Just a little detour, it’s fine!” Hermes giggled anxiously, but the shades’ yellow beady eyes judged him, just wanting to get on with it. Could shades revolt? He didn’t want a mutiny to happen.
Shades were never like this with Charon- but it makes sense. Charon cut an intimidating frame, his skeletal face (while, very beautiful to Hermes himself) terrified many mortals. His shape, stature, everything- it made Shades stay in line.
Now Hermes wasn’t puny (or, at least, he pretended he wasn’t) but he is vastly different- bright, bubbly, far softer than the rough edges of Charon’s persona. No wonder Shades weren’t scared of him the way they’re scared of his boatman.
He was tempted to leave the boat behind and fly off, trying to find the way back to the house of Hades, but what if the shades got tired of waiting and jumped ship? or what if they took the boat? too risky. Hermes was trapped rowing back to Asphodel, hoping that now they could go to the House of Hades.
He wondered what Charon was up to.
“Who do you think you are?!”
Charon grit his teeth in annoyance, clutching the satchel closely to himself. Unfortunately, amongst the list of things he had to do was deliver a message to Zeus himself, which was annoying in its own right, but Zeus was currently being accompanied by his queen Hera. The moment he entered Zeus’ chamber Hera screeched in horror at his sight, never too subtle.
Zeus stared at him strangely too, eyebrows knit together in confusion. “You are…?”
Charon didn’t bother even talking at this point, he was getting fed up at how many messages he had to deliver, not to mention the fact that everybody kept hogging his time by wanting to either chitchat or ask him what happened to Hermes.
“Oh! I heard about this!” Zeus suddenly remembered, pointing a big meaty finger up the sky. “Dionysus told me about it, Hermes swapped places with the boatman”
“This is the boatman?” Hera scoffed, clearly disgusted. “Disgusting creature.”
“Now, now, why are you here now, hm? I don’t have anything to deliver at all.” Zeus asked just as Charon pulled out a scroll specifically for Zeus, but the god seemed to scoff and wave him away. “I am not expecting any messages, take that away, surely you must have misunderstood!”
Now Charon was the one to scoff, angrily shoving the scroll to Zeus’ face. Hera eyed him strangely, looking at the scroll on Charon’s hand.
“Why don’t you leave and-” Hera yanked the scroll from Charon’s hand, and that was enough for Charon to turn away and leave, not before he hears Hera screaming at Zeus for yet another infidelity, the god denying anything about his wedlock romances.
Charon wanted to go home.
“Hermes?”
Thanatos' voice scared the crap out of him, making Hermes suddenly jolt into the sky, almost hitting the ceiling from Asphodel itself. He was dizzy, tired, and exhausted from rowing so much- Thanatos intrusion almost gave him a heart attack.
“H-hey boss! What’s uh,” Hermes shuffled awkwardly, tugging at his scarf as he did so. They were still in the middle of Asphodel, hours having passed since he left the temple of Styx with his batch of shades. The shades were starting to get unruly, rocking the boat back and forth as they hadn’t arrived yet to their destination, clearly upset. It was just during that when Thanatos seemingly appeared from thin air. “What’s up?”
“What’s happening? Where is Charon? Why are you here?” He stared at him with that scowl of his, thin eyebrows pulled tight. Hermes scratched the back of his neck.
"We... switched places" He answered awkwardly.
“What do you mean switched places? He is the boatman. That’s his job. Where is he now?”
“De…delivering messages on the surface.”
Both gods were quiet for a long moment, the shades now having settled after they saw their psychopomp Thanatos. They stare at him with fear and respect, something they didn’t have for Hermes.
“This is unacceptable.” Thanatos suddenly broke the silence, pacing in circles around the boat, floating softly and running his fingers through his hair. “If Lord Hades is to know about this-”
“Which he won’t! He won’t. If uh, certain god of Death keeps quiet-”
“Do you know what you have done? The kind of trouble Charon can get into, if Hades finds out?” Thanatos interrupted, ignoring the not so subtle request from Hermes to keep quiet.”
“Hey now- Charon knew what he was getting into and he agreed. Maybe trust your brother a little more?”
Thanatos just glared at Hermes and it struck him to his core.
“...Anyways, we uh, got lost” Hermes changed the topic, hoping Thanatos won’t mind. “Mind helping a fellow psychopomp?”
Thanatos sighed deeply, clearly frustrated. “Fine. Only to help Charon.”
Hermes ignored that last part, but relaxed his shoulders once Thanatos started to guide him through Asphodel, aware of how the shades were now staring intently at Thanatos. Hermes sighed softly, arms hurting from all the rowing. He couldn’t wait until the day was over.
Twenty-four hours on the dot, both Charon and Hermes were at the temple of Styx.
Hermes sighed as he let himself drop down, backside hitting the floor as he let his legs and arms rest, exhausted from all the trips from the temple to the house of Hades, and having to deal with Thanatos who had to guide him through the river more than twice.
Meanwhile, Charon sat down too- a rarity, the god almost never sat down, and he rubbed his tired feet as a plume of smoke seeped through clenched teeth. He was exhausted too.
“Well,” Hermes broke the silence, rubbing his now calloused hands together. “That was awful.”
Charon chuckles at that, nodding in agreement.
“Aw, was my family too mean to you?” Hermes asked in earnest, leaning on Charon’s side, happy to be able to be next to him after a whole day. “Sorry if so, boss. You know how they can be.”
Charon sighed softly, wrapping an arm around Hermes’ waist and pressing him closer against his ribs. Hermes hummed contently, just as Charon hissed out a question of how his day went.
“Oh, perfect! I totally didn’t get lost on the way to the house of Hades, nuh uh,” Hermes said jokingly, exhaustion creeping out of his voice. “The shades were about to strangle me, I swear. They aren’t as afraid of me as they are of you, funny that.”
Charon chuckled, fingers rubbing soothingly on Hermes’ side, his cheek rested on top of the winged god’s hair.
“I’ll never make fun of your job ever again. My arms are killing me, boss! How do you row so much? No wonder your arms are as thick as a tree trunk.”
Charon grumbled a response, mentioning that no wonder Hermes’ legs are so toned- he is exhausted from running around all day long without any rest.
“So… who wins? Who has the most exhausting job?” Hermes asked, smiling, still trying to bait Charon into a competition like they didn’t just suffer 24 hours.
Charon rolled his eyes conceding that, yes, Hermes worked a whole lot, barely stopping for anything else. Charon didn’t know how Hermes just could keep up every day.
“Well yeah, but…” Hermes pouted. “Your job is more annoying! At least I can talk with people during my regular job- these shades, they’re so gloomy and sad! and I can’t just crack conversation or anything- they’re silent and I mean, no wonder. They just died!”
Charon couldn’t help the guffaw he let out, Hermes still complaining about how much of a bore Charon’s job is and, that if Charon wanted his job again, Hermes wouldn’t switch ever again, nuh uh, that was absolutely the worst.
It took Charon kissing him tenderly for Hermes to relax a little, still complaining, but far more comfortable and gentle, kissing the boatman back. Waiting one more moment before they go back to their actual respective duties.