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Masaki was at the door with a grocery bag and a grin.
"Surprise!" he chimed, and entered the apartment. He presented the bag to Yasuko with an exaggerated bow. "A humble offering of meat and vegetables for welcoming a filthy peasent into your home."
"Thank you, Majima! I'll use it to make lunch for us all," Yasuko took the bag and was off to the kitchen. Saejima frowned but said nothing. He knew better than to fight Masaki about presents. There was just no dissuading him from bringing groceries with him whenever he visited. "It's not charity," he'd insisted, "it's a gift for putting up with me."
Almost as soon as he walked through the door and Yasuko was out of sight Masaki slumped suddenly, one hand braced against the wall before he fell over. Saejima shot across the room to catch him if necessary, and got a good look at Masaki's face. The boy was pale, and his eyes were unfocused. His eyelids and lips were trembling. His breath was shallow and labored—like he was forcing his lungs into a normal rhythm. The fit only lasted a few seconds before Masaki squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head like a dog shaking off water.
"I'm fine," Masaki said, his face saying otherwise despite the forced grin, "just a little tired."
"You ain't sneaking out at night when ya should be sleeping, are you?" Saejima asked with the authority of a concerned parent. Masaki waved him off and threw himself on the ground, sitting sprawled and comfortable like always.
"Nothing like that, just busy with school and shit," Masaki leaned back, but closed his eyes. Dizzy again from sitting suddenly.
"You never give a shit about school,"
"Just drop it," Masaki snapped, and Saejima dropped it, but he couldn't hide the concern on his face. Masaki took a deep, calming breath.
"Sorry, just...been really busy lately. Don't have a lot of down time." It was the idol stuff. Saejima knew, and he was pretty sure Masaki knew that he knew, but if Masaki didn't want Saejima to know, then he didn't know. Still, Saejima could tell when Masaki was being overworked. He'd look pale and exhausted for a few days, then Everyone's Idol Goro would make a TV appearance, or there'd be flyers around town announcing a performance. Usually he'd perk up a bit after that.
Yasuko returned to the room with two bowls of ramen, which she placed in front of Masaki and Seajima. Then she returned to the kitchen to fetch her own bowl. Masaki waited for her to return, leg jittering as he stared into the broth.
"Don't wait around, eat!" Yasuko scolded as she returned with her share of lunch. Masaki gave a clipped "thank you" and pulled a glistening tangle of noodles from the bowl. His eyes lit up like a kid at a festival. He shoveled the first bite into his mouth with religious gratitude, then the rest of the bowl without breathing.
"You're the best cook in Kamurocho, Yasuko-chan," he said once he had surfaced from his ramen, "maybe the whole world."
"It's just packaged stuff with extra toppings from the food you've brought us," Yasuko scolded, but was obviously pleased. "You eat too fast to taste anything anyways."
Saejima constructioned a bite of noodles, meat, and onion, chewing slowly as if appraising Yasuko's work. The young girl watched him with growing tension. Finally he nodded.
"It's real good, Yasuko-chan. You've been improving a lot." Yasuko grinned and settled down to her own lunch. Masaki held his bowl up over his mouth to try and catch the last lingering drops of broth.
"Why you taking it so seriously, Yasuko-chan?" Masaki asked after deciding that licking the bowl for remaining ramen molecules would be overkill.
"I wanna be able to cook really good food for you and oniisan," she said after wiping her mouth politely, determined to prove she had the best table manners, "He works really hard, and you always bring us nice things."
"I like bringing things. You're both so nice to me." Masaki leaned on the table, his eyes sliding shut and his mouth partially open. Then he dropped back into his body and snapped upright.
"You're great, Yasuko-chan," Masaki said, blinking blearily and immediately slipping back out of consciousness. "You'll make a good wife...just like...your brother." Masaki's eyes threatened to roll back, and his head drooped.
Yasuko made eye contact with her brother and quietly dashed off to grab a pillow and blanket from the closet. She held out the pillow, and Saejima took Masaki by the shoulders and eased him down. First letting Yasuko catch his head with the pillow, then to the floor.
"Get some rest," Saejima hushed when it seemed like Masaki might wake up. The boy only stirred momentarily, murmuring in his sleep before going still again. Yasuko snapped the blanket out and let it billow down over Masaki's sleeping form. When Masaki was tucked in, she went and sat next to her brother.
"Does he not sleep at home?" she whispered to Saejima in cupped hands. Saejima shrugged and shook his head.
"Dunno. Can't force him to talk about what he doesn't wanna talk about." Yasuko's brow furrowed, deep in thought.
"Well, I think he can sleep here whenever he likes," she said. It was an ultimatum, not a request. "I'll keep feeding him too, if he's hungry." Saejima snorted, but nodded in agreement.
"You like him?" Saejima asked. His face was distant and thoughtful as he watched Masaki sleep.
"Yeah, I like him," Yasuko replied, "he's our friend. I know how happy you are when he's around."
"Good," Saejima said, nodding. Distant gears were creaking to life in the back of his mind. To keep his friend close, to keep his family together, and to not lose everything in the process.
"Why don't you tell him?"
"Hm?" Saejima surfaced from his thoughts.
"That you like him?"
"I can't." Saejima let out a short sigh. Why did things have to be so damn complicated?
"Why not?"
"You wouldn't understand," Saejima growled, turning away from his sister. He tucked his legs beneath him and squeezed his knees in an anxious rhythm.
"You right, I don't." Yasuko gave him a Look. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"If he reacted bad, and decided he didn’t wanna be around me anymore, well..." He tapped the nail of his thumb on his lip, "that'd be fair."
"But you'd be sad," Yasuko finished. Saejima hadn't put a word to the fear in the back of his mind, but it chose now to make itself clear. Heartbroken. The thought of being rejected, right when they'd finally gotten close; the thought of Masaki recoiling from him, looking at him with disgust- it would hurt like hell. He wouldn't even be angry, just...sad. He'd just gotten used to not feeling lonely. To have a friendship pulled away from him so suddenly-it just seemed too cruel.
"Yeah," Saejima said, keeping his answer simple. Masaki shuddered and made a soft whimpering noise. Yasuko scooted her cushion closer to him and swept his hair away from his face, hushing him softly.
"Sleep, it's ok," she whispered, mimicking what their aunt had done when Yasuko was sick and the fever caused the girl to have nightmares. "You're safe. Sleep." Masaki sighed and settled down again. Yasuko stayed and stroked his hair. Saejima watched from the other side of the table, chewing his knuckle thoughtfully.