Chapter Text
I can't decide if its a choice, getting swept away
I hear the sound of my own voice asking you to stay
Ricky's laying in bed decompressing from the day when his phone buzzes
Gina: happy v-day ricky!! those chocolates made my night.
Well shit, Ricky had debated leaving a card but thought with everything going on it would be best to just let Gina think her mom used some delivery service. Maybe he shouldn't have texted her directly after dropping them off or put multiple bows on the chocolate box making it look less professional but Gina deserved multiple bows. One for every way he was an idiot earlier. His judgment has been clouded the entire day. Should he have just tried to meet Nini at the hospital? Should he have gone to 3 different stores looking for a bear for someone who wasn't his girlfriend? Someone who confessed their feelings for him only a month prior. Feelings that he at one point reciprocated.
He supposes there's not much use dwelling on this since he already did it. Now the question is how he should respond to Gina's text. She already thinks the chocolates are from him, what's the use in lying? Plus despite any guilty feelings lingering around he was just being a good friend. People get their friends stuff for Valentine's day all the time. Was he the kind of person to do that in the past? Maybe not but new year new Ricky!
Ricky : i said you’d get your grand gesture :)
i tried finding a bear but i guess they were all out.
making you happy made my night <3
Ricky doesn’t even bother debating whether he should have added the heart or not. He tossed his phone aside and smiled to himself while staring at the ceiling. After such a frustrating day of being out of sync with Nini he really needed a win. He made Gina's day. Him. He imagined what Gina's smile might have looked like when she found the chocolates. She had the most heart warming smile and he swore sometimes Gina practically glowed. In a completely non stalkery way part of him wishes he hid somewhere and stayed to see her reaction. Then he’d have an image to replace the forced smile she gave him as she left his apartment earlier. That image had been plaguing him since till he received that text.
They haven’t had a conversation alone since December and he felt like he blew it. There was a shift in their dynamic and he couldn’t place what was wrong. Or didn’t want to admit it. Nothing he did or said felt right and he just felt guilty about everything. All his feelings were contradicting one another. They're interaction was innocent but a part of him felt like he shouldn't have had Gina there in the first place and he felt guilty for feeling like his feelings toward her may have not been so pure. He felt like he was being a bad boyfriend.
Then another part felt like he did Gina wrong and he shouldn’t have answered Nini’s call. Based on how quickly she left after he felt like he definitely fucked up somehow. He knows he definitely messed up when he answered the door and didn’t hide his disappointment that it wasn’t Nini. They left off on such a weird note. All he wanted to do was fix it so he was relieved things might be okay between them. His phone buzzed again. It's a text from Nini thanking him for his song. He almost forgot she also left a message. He should probably listen to it instead of daydreaming about his friend.
Gina was sitting on the couch in the Caswells living room and had to stop herself from screaming, giggling, and kicking her feet. Ricky really said, “Making you happy made my night” AND WITH A HEART LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Her brain was in overdrive. She can’t believe he went out of his way to get her something just because she told him she was having a hard time. She almost felt like crying after leaving his apartment. Gina felt like it was a huge mistake going there in the first place. The energy felt so off and he clearly was so consumed by his problem with Nini. Even though for a moment she felt the comfort she was seeking out as soon as Nini called it felt like the universe was saying, “See you shouldn’t be here.” It felt like all her fears regarding Ricky came to fruition; that him getting back together with Nini permanently altered their relationship for the worse. But maybe it will be fine and if they're on good terms then maybe she can handle him being in a relationship with someone else.
A light bulb goes off in Gina's head. SHE SHOULD MAKE RICKY SOMETHING! It was too late to start baking but maybe she could knit something. Sure it's 10:00pm on a school night but she had so much energy she couldn't sleep anyway. She ran upstairs to get her knitting stuff. What should she make? Another hat? No, that would take too much time and she wants to get it done by tomorrow. Maybe a matching scarf to the hat she made for Ricky. Oh yeah she did start one after she finished the hat back in November but thought it might be overkill to give him both a hat and scarf. She didn't want him to know she spent that much time thinking about him. Gina wasn’t one to not finish things so just kept the few unfinished projects in her old yarn bin under her bed. Ashlyns parents wanted her to feel at home and were kind enough to gift her a basket with a variety of colorful yarn that she’s been using instead.
Unfortunately the unfinished scarf isn't there with the other projects. Gina was confused, kneeling by her bed, till she remembered it must be in the box in her closet. Since there was always a chance she’d have to pack up her life at any moment she wasn’t usually sentimental about many objects. Living out of suitcases didn't really grant you much room to keep many things besides the essentials but this time there were a few items she couldn’t bear to part with when she thought she was leaving Salt Lake for good. Now those things lived in a box in the back of her closet.
Gina opened her closet and took a deep breath. She hadn’t opened this box since she packed it. Labeled S.L.C memories but it might as well be called her Ricky box. It contained items she gained from the time they spent together last semester. Stuff she didn't want to see but also didn't have the heart to get rid of. In the box were some polaroids from movie nights in Big Reds basement, disposable pictures of them she intended to put on her wall, a homecoming ticket, a prototype of the HSM playbill, one of ricky's sweatshirts, the unfinished scarf, and a teddy bear in an unfinished cardigan she forgot she started making.
Franklyn; they had won him at a fair and decided to have shared custody of him. Ricky kept him for a while but Gina took him so she could make him a sweater because it was getting cold and obviously Franklyn needed proper winter attire. Would it be a bad idea to finish making the little cardigan and possibly bring up that time they were trying to pretend never existed or would it not be the cutest thing ever? Gina decided it would be the cutest them ever.
The next day
Gina stayed up way too late finishing Franklyns cardigan and making a matching beanie. She repurposed the yarn from the matching scarf she started so it resembled Ricky's hat. While it seemed like the best idea ever earlier this morning, still high from Ricky's text combined with the sleep deprivation, she was starting to regret this idea as she walked towards the orange bug in the school parking lot. (She knew he usually hung out there before rehearsal when he had the car). There was a nagging voice in her head telling her to abort the mission and not give Ricky a gift that forces him to acknowledge the time when they were borderline dating. Or at least she felt like they were. But they were technically just friends then and based on Rickys response to her confession maybe that's all they really were. Plus this is just an innocent thank you for him going all out the night before so she persisted. Ricky was sitting in the front seat alone strolling on his phone. She knocked on the driver side window and he jumped.
“Oh hey, Gina. What's up” Ricky said as he rolled down the car window. Despite being startled he greeted her with a warm smile. Much better than the unreadable look the day before.
“I wanted to thank you again for last night so I brought you this.” Gina took Franklyn from behind her back and handed him to Ricky through the window.
“Oh Gina you didn’t have to do anything - OH MY GOD FRANKLYN?!” Ricky’s mouth fell open as he looked at the bear in shock. Then he turned back to her with a gigantic goofy grin she hadn’t seen in awhile and all of her worries disappeared. “Wait, you made him a sweater?! Awe and a little hat!? Gi this is incredible. Did you - how’d you do this all last night?” Still in awe, Ricky motioned for Gina to get in the car because it was freezing outside.Gina flipped her hair over her shoulder as she made her way into the car.
“Oh well I am just talented like that and you going all out last night made me think you’re ready to resume your co - parenting duties. You know you've really been slacking lately.”
Ricky smirked, “Oh yeah, our shared custody.”
Then he looked at her with big puppy dog eyes and pleaded “I'm so sorry Gina! After HSM I just became such a big star and was so busy with all the needy fans and interviews and other famous people things.” He shook his head. “ I let it consume me but I promise I’m done with that lifestyle and vow to be present in Franklyn's life. You know as a child of divorce I'd never want to do that unlike some people who just run off to Denver at the last minute or Chicago with people named Todd” Ricky added wryly at the end. Gina thought about asking how he’s been doing with all of that but decided it might be better not to push and just continued the bit.
“Good, because I was about to take you to court so I could get full custody if you kept this up.”
“Oh well, we definitely don't want that to happen. It would be bad publicity. The Beast versus the feather duster: everyone would start rioting, it would be a whole thing.”
A reminder popped up on his phone for rehearsal. “Come on we should go back in or were gonna be late to rehearsal”
“Ricky Bowen concerned about being on time?” Gina gasped.
“New year new me, Gina and I need to be a good influence for Franklyn.” As he said this he put Franklyn in the back seat and buckled him in then started to get out of the car.
“You're going to leave him in the car all alone in the cold?”
“He has a Jacket and a hat. He’ll be fine.”
“Maybe I will fight for full custody.”
“Where was he all day, huh? Your backpack, your locker? At least now he has a lovely view… of the East High Parking lot”
Gina rolled her eyes, “Okay let's go. Just so you know everyone would be on my side in the beast vs the feather duster.”
“Oh of course”
They walked a little further in comfortable silence. “Though, you are the one keeping him in dark enclosed spaces.” Gina gave him a pointed look and Ricky met her gaze trying to stand his ground but cracked instantly. “No, you’re right.”
Gina lightly bumped him with her shoulder and said “Duh” looking him in the eyes as if daring him to counter her small act of violence. Ricky just scoffed and they continued to walk back into the school shoulder to shoulder, laughing, neither acknowledging the real reason Ricky was slacking on his co-parenting duties.
As Gina is about to turn her phone off and go to sleep she gets a text.
Ricky: hey, i just wanted to say thank you again for franklin and his cute outfit. I just realized his hat kind of matches mine ☺️
i wish i could make you something. maybe one day i’ll pull a gina porter look up instructions on youtube
Gina: HAHA well seeing as that was my thank you to you there is no need to thank me but i appreciate it
while i am probably the biggest youtube connoisseur i can teach you to knit or bake or even crochet if you want
Ricky: YESSS that would be even better
learn from the master herself. how about this friday after rehearsal?
Gina: friday is perfect :)
Gina couldn’t fight the warm and fuzzy feelings forming in her chest as she reflected on the day and her new plans with Ricky. Today was the first time in what felt like forever that they had a conversation that felt normal and they were going to hang out again!!! After a month of what felt like torture things were finally looking up. Gina cherished and appreciated her new blossoming friendships with Ashlyn and Kourtney but she couldn't deny the void left where Ricky used to be a constant in her life. No one has managed to match the safety and joy she felt with him. He was still the only person she didn’t worry about scaring away if she slipped back into “Gina 1.0”.
Still as Gina tries to fall asleep she can’t ignore the creeping suspicion that spending time with Ricky again might be a bad idea. Her excitement for Friday is not feeling very platonic at all. Neither did yesterday's bubbly feelings. In the midst of her Valentine's gift induced high she didn’t stop to think of the implications of what Ricky did and the Nini of it all.
Gina couldn’t help but wonder what it meant for the possible feelings Ricky may or may not have for her. She usually doesn’t entertain these thoughts but Ricky told her that he tells her things he didn’t tell anyone else and he went out of way to get her a gift for Valentine's Day. How could she not read into that? Sure, it’s normal for friends to confide in each other. Of course friends get eachother gifts for Valentine's Day. Ahslyn made her a spa day kit for them to do together.
Maybe Nini even knew about all of this. Still, she couldn't help but wonder if their relationship could really coexist with him and Nini's? She hates to admit it but there is a very large part of her that doesn't want it to. A part of her hopes that this Friday she and Ricky will hang out, he'll be so enamored by her knitting skills and he’ll realize he made a huge mistake getting back together with Nini and decide he wants her instead. With that thought the pain of not being Ricky's first choice resurfaces and she's left wondering which is worse: distance or being close again on the precipice of who they use to be.
Her phone buzzes.
Ricky: Image
got carried away looking at stuff for us to make. what if we make franklyn little converse 👀
Gina gave her phone a soft smile and screamed into her pillow. He was still thinking about her almost an hour later and it drove her crazy.
Gina: that would be so cute but probably too advanced for you rn LMAO go to sleep
Ricky: booo okay goodnight gina
Gina: goodnight ricky