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The sense of impending doom loomed over Haru the entire day after Daisuke so proudly proclaimed that after school, the taupe-haired troublemaker would have to demonstrate what he knew in some sort of embarrassing show-and-tell in front of him. The thought shouldn’t have brought such anxiety – in fact in his mind, he should have been way more annoyed than he was – but when he found his stomach turning uncomfortably in his belly and his heart rate accelerating each time he glanced at the clock, he knew he couldn’t deny his stirring sense of unease for long.
Very few people knew about Haru’s internal anxiety when performing magic in front of people. It went far beyond mere embarrassment, maybe even beyond the fear of failure that would come from constantly fucking up in front of his peers. It was something deeper – or at least, it felt way deeper. It was almost a sinking feeling like if they kept staring at him, he’d crack open and shatter into pieces, with his pathetic little magic left for everyone to laugh at over those pieces.
He seldom spoke of his insecurities, mainly because no one else got it and he didn’t believe anyone would get it. Everyone on the Boiling Isles – from fairies to tricyclopes, heck the Isles themself – had magic and could use it well. Everyone in his immediate family had magic and used it significantly better than he could. Everyone was normal. Everyone was special in all the good ways and he was…not. He was Half-A-Witch. The boy who barely had enough magic to sustain a light spell for five seconds.
And soon, he would be the same Half-A-Witch about to embarrass himself in front of the most popular and arrogant kid at their school – an absolute nightmare brought to life. He wanted to disappear – maybe he could ask Kamei to put an illusion over him until Daisuke was satisfied or got tired and left.
No, that wouldn’t be fair.
As much as he annoyed him to absolutely no end, Daisuke was trying to help. Granted, he wasn’t completely sure how, but if Kambe Daisuke had answers, he wanted them right away.
Still, he couldn’t help the apprehension that had started to seep through, and it didn’t go unnoticed. When he and his new partner weren’t hurling insults at one another and calling each other names, he was grinding his molars down a couple of sizes to distract himself from his stomach trying to eat itself.
The end of the day was fast approaching. Haru had retreated to the restroom for the 4th time that afternoon. He was at the sink, rubbing his hands raw under the warm water. He was aware he couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever – one could only piss so much in a short period – but he really did not want to go back and face Daisuke. He couldn’t allow himself to be potentially ridiculed by the most popular boy at school.
He started grinding his teeth again in tandem with his vigorous hand washing. His jaw was throbbing quite a bit from the repeated abuse of his molars, but he couldn’t stop it. His hands trembled as he reached to shut off the sink’s water. He gripped the basin, staring himself down in the mirror, watching the clenching and unclenching of his jaw.
‘Okay, Haru. You need to relax here,’ he thought to himself, ‘This…this’ll pass. We can do it. You just gotta show him what you got and then…well, I don’t know. I don’t even know if he can really help me. He only thinks I’m not doing the spells right. He doesn’t know about the other stuff. He’d probably think it’s gross anyway… but who cares! He made the offer! Whatever happens, it’s his fault–!’
“You know, if you keep making that face, it’ll get stuck.”
Haru whipped around – heart skipping a beat – to find Kamei leaning in the bathroom’s doorway, arms crossed and a friendly smirk on his face. Haru let out a slow sigh. His blonde friend sauntered to him, sitting on the edge of the sink next to him. Haru gave him a glance and a smirk before he went back to glaring at himself.
“You nervous?” The blonde boy asked.
He didn’t answer.
“You don’t have to go through with it, you know.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Why don’t we just record you on my scroll like last time? Or use the camera we found? Then you don’t–”
“He wants to see the real thing. So, I’m giving him the real thing. If that’s how it has to be, then that’s what I’m going to do.”
Kamei frowned. He jumped from his spot on the sink and stood beside his friend, crossing his arms again. Haru turned his head to him. “What?”
“If you’re really gonna do this, you gotta promise me something.”
“O…Okay?”
Kamei poked the center of his chest, “You gotta promise me that you won’t push yourself like last time.”
“Shinno–”
“I’m serious, Haru! You always overdo it and when you do–”
“I’ll be fine–”
“Haru,” Kamei grabbed his friend by the shoulders and made him face him, “Please – for the love of Titan – can you please at least try not to push yourself so hard when you go and duke it out with him?”
Haru chortled, “We’re not going to ‘duke it out–’”
“Promise me.”
Haru’s smirk fell the second he stared into Shinnosuke’s big light brown eyes that were pleading as much as his voice and a vice grip on his shoulders. His bottom lip quivered like that of a guilty child. He leaned closer to Haru until their faces were inches apart. Haru cringed at his kicked puppy routine but the twinge of guilt tugging at his heart was swaying him in another way. There was some truth behind the exaggerated quivering lip – real concern bleeding from his words.
‘You already messed up with Hoshino. Don’t mess this one up. You don’t end up alone again, do you?’
Haru sighed, “...Okay. I promise that I’ll try.” ‘That’s the best I can do.’
Shinnosuke held up his pinky, “Swear it.”
“Seriously?”
“Pwease?”
Haru playfully rolled his eyes. He held up his hand, extended his pinky, and wrapped it around Shinnosuke’s with a genuine smile. Shinnosuke flashed his own crooked grin at his friend.
That made his heart ache a little. “I swear. Now come on. The guard dogs are gonna think we’re skipping and come drag us to the bad place.”
Kamei shuddered. “Don’t even joke about that!”
Haru chuckled. He threw an arm around his friend’s shoulders. His heartbeat slowed significantly on their walk back to their classroom. Kamei joked with him the entire way there, earning several odd glances from students and teachers alike. Neither of them cared.
Haru’s bubble of calm managed to stay up when they returned, even when he had to see stupid Daisuke Kambe and his stupid face.
“Took you long enough,” he said.
“Oh, shut it,” Haru quipped back.
“Settle down boys,” Mr. Kiyomizu warned.
The rest of the time Haru tried to ignore the clock. He kept his mind busy with his glyphs and notes from past ‘experiments’ with magic. He cringed at the past entries scribbled on scorched pages from said failed experiments. He shifted through the pages to find a semblance of an answer or an idea like he did every day since he enrolled at Hexside. He highlighted any potential leads, adding any new information (which was often nothing). The guard dogs came around for their last check-in. The bell screamed soon after they left. Haru’s bubble popped and his heart was back to racing a million miles a minute.
Daisuke stood, slid out of his seat, and started making his way toward him. Haru let out a shaky exhale and stood up from his desk as well. They met in the middle, right in front of Mr. Kiyomizu’s desk.
“Ready?” Daisuke asked head cocked to the side with that same damned smirk.
Haru squeezes his sweaty hands into fists.”Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Shall we get going then?”
Haru opened his mouth to reply but the words died when the door to the classroom opened. He whipped around and immediately froze, locking eyes with his infamous ex-best friend and his enemy’s cousin.
“Daisuke! It’s time to go,” his cousin chirps.
“In a minute. I have something to take care of here. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like.”
“Huh?!” Haru exclaimed, whipping back at Daisuke who kept a neutral expression.
“Suzue’s a fast writer. Pretty observant, too. She’ll be able to keep track of your ‘weak points’ during our little demonstration.”
“Demonstration?” Hoshino questioned.
“You’ll see in a moment,” Daisuke started towards the chalkboard.
Haru’s face burned, “You can’t – I – you can’t just – it’s –”
“Any day now, Katou,” Daisuke called, already squeezing himself through the small door.
Suzue and Hoshino starred in surprise. The black-haired boy beckoned them over. They exchanged a puzzled look before cautiously approaching the strange door. Haru tried to argue with the Kambe scion but he was already too worked up about the idea of having to show a crowd of his peers his pathetic little magic skills. He didn’t want to give himself a heart attack before they could even get started. He took a deep breath to calm himself, which was interrupted by a hand tightly gripping his shoulder. He flinched.
“You better not be dragging Kambe into any trouble, Katou,” Hoshino whispered as he passed Haru.
Haru frowned, his irritation being replaced with a rip of sadness starting to open a very old wound. “He came here on his own. I had nothing to do with any of this. Not entirely, at least.”
Hoshino shot him a look. He slid himself through the opening after Daisuke. Suzue followed after him, greeting Haru with a small smile and a wave. He waved back but couldn’t find it within himself to smile back.
Two hands grabbed his shoulders with a comforting squeeze.”Aw, man. Guess our Secret Room of Shortcuts ain’t so secret anymore, huh?”
Haru looked up at his blonde friend with a similar look of discontent. “Let’s just hope they don’t blab to Principal Takei. Let’s just get this over with…”
He steadied himself against the blackboard and crawled inside.
“Be careful, Katou!” Mr. Kiyomizu said.
Haru gave him a nod in return. He entered the Secret Room of Shortcuts. Daisuke was waiting in the very center, an impatient frown on his face. Hoshino and Suzue continued to marvel at the secret sanctuary. It made Haru uneasy.
“Don’t worry about them,” Daisuke said, “They won’t tell. Right?”
“This is incredible!” Suzue exclaimed, ignoring her cousin, “Was this always here?”
“No. It’s old. Built like 49 years ago or something? It was entirely constructed by Lord Calamity.”
“I’m sorry — Lord Calamity? ” Hoshino inquired.
“Focus people,” Daisuke tossed a notebook to Suzue, “Katou, get ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“A witch typically reveals the full extent of their power under immense stress, say for example– in the heat of battle.”
Haru’s honeyed eyes went wide but before he could even speak, Daisuke wagged his finger, and the long hand of an abomination shot at him. He managed to jump out of the way mere seconds from being flattened into a pancake.
Haru scowled. “What the heck?!”
“Come on, Katou. I don’t have all day.”
Daisuke sent another attack his way. Haru barely managed to escape that one too. The back of his cowl was ripped in half. He winced.
‘Damnit! That’s the third one this week! Mom’s gonna kill me!’
Haru glared at the Scion boy, who remained stone-faced. He stood up, drew a large spell circle in front of him, and tried to send forward a fire spell, but it fizzled out before it even made contact with the abomination. He hissed in discontent, pain radiating up his arm.
“Haru! Don’t push yourself!” Mahoro called.
‘I wouldn’t have to if he wasn’t trying to kill me!’ Haru made several smaller spell circles – plant spells this time – that fared much better in landing a hit on the goopy monster.
Not a big hit, but a hit nonetheless.
The abomination sucked up the loose vines and spat them back at him. One ripped open his right uniform sleeve, drawing blood. He hissed from the attack but that wasn’t the worst thing he was experiencing.
His body was on fire. Every small movement sent a lightning bolt of pain through his heavy limbs. His stomach was churning uncomfortably in a way that told him he was most likely going to vomit if he kept this up. He swore under his breath. He couldn’t understand how only a few minutes into this mock witch’s duel, he was already this bad. He looked over at his friends who wore concerned expressions, almost terrified expressions as they watched him get his ass handed to him.
Kamei opened his mouth – probably to get Daisuke to stop – but Haru shook his head.
He was going to finish this whether they liked it or not.
“Kambe! Ease up on him!” Hoshino instead shouted – as if he actually cared.
Haru straightened. He drew more large spell circles – large, wobbly spell circles – and casted several fire and plant spells to varying levels of success. His sweaty bangs stuck to his forehead, obscuring his already swimming vision.
He kept pushing.
He stopped trying to cast plant and fire and whatever spell and simply focused on casting general magic attacks, which were starting to fail harder than his other attempts.
His whole body started to tremble. His throat felt raw and dry. His mouth was gummy. Everything hurt.
His legs dissolved into jelly. He started to stumble back.
The attacks on Daisuke’s end started to lull.
“Katou?” Daisuke called, his voice a million miles away.
“Haru! You doing okay?” Kamei shouted, starting to inch his way toward the two of them.
“Shin…Shinnosuke–”
His stomach twisted. He lurched forward and spewed bright yellow bile all over the floor. The world went sideways. He stumbled back, tripped over his heels, and when he hit the floor, everything went dark.
Haru woke to the sound of heels clicking against the tile floor. His eyes peeled open, everything coming out blurry at first before adjusting to the blinding overhead lights. He went over the room, taking in everyone’s faces one by one. Everyone was sitting or leaning against the walls of the Hexside infirmary. Daisuke was the only one up, pacing back and forth to each end of the room, his hands shoved in his pockets. His eyes drifted to Kamei, who was sitting in a chair right beside him, his hand lightly clutching Haru’s sweaty one. His eyes were pretty red and his sleeves were noticeably snot covered.
He squeezed his hand as best he could with his jelly limbs. Thankfully, Kamei took notice. His face lit up the second they locked eyes with Haru. He jumped up, releasing an airy laugh of relief. “He’s awake!”
There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone. Daisuke stopped in his tracks, snapping his head in his direction. His friends jumped up from their seats and crowded around him. Mahoro immediately sprung into tears, throwing her arms around him for a tight hug.
“You’re okay!” she tearfully exclaimed, smushing their faces together.
“Easy, Mahoro! The man just woke up!” Teppei said.
“Do you need anything? Water? Snacks? A sandwich?”
Haru’s stomach twisted with nausea. “I’m good, thanks.”
Kamei scoffed, “Sure, we’ll call waking up after landing in the infirmary for the 10th time good. ”
“10th time?” Hoshino questioned.
Haru shrunk. “Uh, yeah. 10th…10th time.”
Daisuke frowned. He stomped up the foot of his bed and slammed his hands down on the frame. Haru jumped.
“You didn’t tell me,” he scolded.
“Tell you wha–”
“That–That you get sick. You didn’t tell me that…that happens to you! I thought–”
“You thought I just didn’t know the spells? That I was just doing them wrong? Yeah, most people do,” he shrugged, “I don’t exactly go around announcing it to everyone I meet.”
“I could have injured you–”
“You did. You cut my arm, you jackass.”
“Katou, language,” Kiyomizu said.
“Sorry…”
“You could have died.”
The room fell silent. The air became thick. Daisuke looked genuinely fearful, his icy blue eyes wider than he had ever seen them, skin way paler than usual.
Suzue cleared her throat, “Katou, is it? How long has this been–”
“My whole life. Since I can remember, any time I try to do magic, it hurts. If I try to go too big with it, I get sick. I’ve seen healers left and right and no one’s been able to figure out what’s wrong with me. I barely managed to get into Hexisde because of it.
Suzue jotted down every word in the notebook. “I see. And when you overdo it and feel ill, are the symptoms the same? Do they change? Do you notice anything with your magic when you get sick?”
He shook his head, “Not…really? It’s mainly Common Mold type symptoms – hot and cold, achy, dizzy–”
“Spews his entire apple blood stash on you twice,” Shinnosuke added with a playful smirk.
Haru frowned in response, “Yeah, that too. That’s all I know or felt, and that’s all anyone from the Healing Coven can figure out.”
She nodded, continuing to take notes. “Okay…does anyone else in your family have this same issue.”
Haru shrugged, “Not that I know of.”
Daisuke quipped a brow at that.
Mr. Kiyomizu stood up, “Why don’t we let Katou get some rest and you can ask him questions later?”
He didn’t wait for a response. He immediately started trying to usher them out without much argument.
“Feel better, Haru!” Mahoro chirped.
“We’ll wait for you outside!” Shinnosule called back.
Haru waved at them. Daisuke was the last to leave, arms crossed and lips pressed into a deep frown as he turned and started to walk away.
“Oi, Kambe.”
He whipped back around, “What?”
“Thanks…for helping me out, I mean. Thanks for trying.”
The other boy softened at that. He avoided his eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It was in our agreement, wasn’t it?”
Haru rolled his eyes, “Way to ruin a nice moment, Kambe.”
“Just…,” he sighed, “Just don’t do that again.”
He turned around and left soon after along with everyone else.
And just like that, Haru was alone.
The sky was painted orange by the time he was ‘discharged’ from the school infirmary. The nurse sent him off with a small pain-reducer potion to keep him upright long enough to make the journey home. His limbs still felt like jelly and he was still nauseous, but he was feeling significantly better than before. His mom wouldn’t see it that way though. She was probably worried sick that he wasn’t called or shown up yet.
Shinnosuke was waiting for him at the front of the school, a box of Apple Blood in his hand. He smiled, handing him the juice box as they started on their way.
“Thanks,” Haru said, steadying himself against the railing.
“From Kambe. He had to go and didn’t know when he’d see you again so he asked me to give it to you. Came with a little note, too.”
Haru arched a brow. He turned the juice box over. A small pink post-it note was stuck to the other side. In fancy cursive, it read ‘Get well soon - D.K.’
“Huh. That’s…nice.” Really nice, actually. He looked absolutely disgusted by the stuff when Haru whipped out a box during lunch.
“How are you feeling?” Shinnosuke asked, throwing an arm around his shoulders.
“Better. Head and stuff are still kinda fuzzy, but better.”
“You sure? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
“I’m sure, Shinno. Promise.”
Shinnosuke nodded, though from what Haru could see, he wasn’t convinced. They continued their walk through the now empty marketplace which would soon become a hotspot for illegal potion trade. They were silent for most of the walk but it was a comfortable silence. A natural silence.
And then, halfway to Haru’s house, Shinnosuke said, “Hoshino didn’t know about it. What happens when you use your magic, I mean.”
“You’re right,” Haru replied very matter-of-factly.
“Why didn’t you tell him? Did you, like, tell him about it all?”
Haru shrugged, “It wasn’t as bad back then. I didn’t think it would get as bad as it did. By the time it was getting worse, things between us were already weird and then we…fell out. I didn’t think I needed to. There was n point, you know?”
Shinnosuke nodded and didn’t ask anything else. He never did when it came to Haru and Hoshino’s fizzled-out friendship. The most Haru could ever explain without sending himself into a spiral was that at one point, he and Hoshino were friends they were kids, they started drifting apart, and one day, they simply stopped being friends. No more, no less.
Shinnosuke never asked what happened or why it happened, he never asked what it was like or made him dig up old memories, and Haru never felt pressured to disclose any of it. It was nice, especially since Shinnosuke tended to be overdramatic with gossip or things of this matter.
They made it to Haru’s place. The sky had begun to shift into a pretty abomination purple as the sun continued to set. The lights were on and Haru could see the vague outline of his worried mother pacing back and forth.
Haru sighed, “Ugh, she’s gonna kill me…”
“I can come in and help explain —”
He shook his head, “Nah. This is something I need to do by myself. Thanks for walking me home again.”
“Yeah, yeah. No problem, man. And hey – if you need me to tell Kambe off for ya, I can.”
Haru chuckled at that. “It’s fine, Shinno. I can take care of myself. I’ll see you later, okay?”
The blonde boy nodded. They hugged – Haru noticed it lasted a lot longer than usual. Haru watched his friend take off in the other direction, waving him goodbye. He turned back to the door, hand hovering over the handle. He took a deep breath in preparation for what was ahead when he felt something crunch underneath his foot.
He looked down. There was a singular folded letter sitting on the welcome mat. No address, no stamp – just a small piece of paper folded up and lying there. He reached down, scanned the area to ensure that the coast was clear, and opened the letter.
Heard you were getting into glyphs. The isles are full of them, you just got to know where to look. I’ll help you out.
Witch Arena. The one in the Knee.
Become one with the landscape and you will find what you are looking for.
Have fun.
-Cho
Haru grinned. He shoved the letter into his pocket, bursting through the door with the confidence of a Pentsagram influencer into the line of fire of his mother’s scolding – which he took in stride.
Because he knew what he was doing after school tomorrow – if he decided to go at all that is.