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You could have heard a pin drop in the kitchen that morning. Naruto sat ramrod straight in his chair his eyes flickering over to meet Kakashi’s across the table. Iruka stood by the counter with his arms crossed. His eyes flickered over to Kakashi, then back to Naruto before slamming them down on the kitchen table hard enough to cause Naruto to jump.
“Just admit it,” Iruka demanded.
Naruto leaned away from Iruka before lifting his hands in a placating manner, “I’m not lying Iruka-sensei! I didn’t touch it! I would never break it!”
Iruka squinted at Naruto before looking over to Kakashi who merely blinked again and slouched more in his chair. “Maa, sensei, what's the interrogation for? I haven’t seen you this intense since your brief spell working in T&I.”
“You know damn well what this interrogation is for and if one of you doesn’t fess up, mark my words, you will regret it.”
“It would be easier to confess if I knew what it was I should be confessing to.”
“My coffee maker!” Iruka gestured to the small blue single-cup coffee maker that sat on his counter, still sparkling in its newness. “It was fine last night and then when I got up this morning it was broken.”
“It’s broken?” Kakashi asked leaning so he could see it better. It looked fine to him.
“Yes.” Iruka straightened up and walked over to it. “Watch.” He pulled one of the small coffee pods out of the cabinet and made a show of putting it into the machine, before pressing the button to brew the coffee. Almost immediately there was a screeching hiss before coffee grounds and water started pouring out of the top of the machine, flooding the counter.
Iruka gestured to it without comment.
“Ah.” Kakashi watched the water trickle onto the floor. “Maybe it can be fixed?”
“It was brand new, Kakashi!”
“I know that. But if I didn’t do it, and Naruto didn’t do it. Maybe it was just a manufacturer error.”
“It was working fine seven hours ago! And I have a double shift at the missions desk today!”
Kakashi glanced at the kitchen clock and noted the time, “Then you should probably get going.”
Iruka’s eyes snapped up to the clock before he let out a cry of “Salted Nutcrackers!” And ran out of the kitchen to finish getting dressed for his day.
Kakashi turned to Naruto, “Run,”
“Right behind you.”
The two of them jumped out of their seats and climbed out the window.
****
Around dinner time, Kakashi was summoned to the Hokage tower. He was expecting a mission or a question about a past mission, or something related to that matter. He was not expecting to come face-to-face with a glitter-covered ANBU, a paper-covered Izumo, and a soaking wet and shoeless Kotetsu. Kakashi let out a small snort of laughter before he gained control of himself.
As soon as he shut the door behind him, Tsunade turned to him with a small smirk on her face despite the fingers massaging the headache from her temples.
“Thank you for joining us,” She said as she gestured for Kakashi to take a seat. Kakashi hesitated briefly before sitting on the edge of the seat provided, keenly aware of the shinobi behind him.
“Tsunade-sama,”
“It would seem that your boyfriend got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Do you have any idea why he would be acting out?”
“I’m not sure. Have you talked to him?”
“We have. He claims nothing is wrong, despite exhibiting a shorter temper than usual. He’s currently and diligently working at the desk. He has been all day.”
“Then how has he been acting out exactly?”
“We aren’t sure.”
“I’m not sure what this has to do with me.”
“We can’t address the behavior unless we can catch him. And when we set an ANBU to follow him on his breaks, he came back to me looking like Rabbit over there.”
“That sounds rough.”
“Hatake-san, we’ve known Iruka for years now. It’s him. These are straight out of his book of pranks from when we were kids.” Izumo said as he tried to take one of the sheets of paper off his skin where it was currently glued.
Then how did you fall for it? He wondered.
“Kakashi, any information you can provide us would be great.” Tsunade drew Kakashi’s attention back to her, “T&I is double-checking their locks and has requested extra security. Half of the ANBU assigned to the tower have requested leave until he is dealt with. This has gone on long enough.”
“Well now that you mention it,” Kakashi rubbed the back of his head, “There was a small incident with his coffee maker this morning.”
“Oh no,” Kotetsu whispered.
“Are you telling me a Chunin-level school teacher is wreaking havoc across this village because he didn’t get his cup of coffee this morning?”
“Yes.” Kakashi shrugged, “Man needs his caffeine.”
Tsunade put her head in her hands and sighed. “You three! Go get cleaned up! Hatake, go get a coffee for Iruka-sensei! And make sure this never happens again! I don’t want to hear anything about paint or glitter or glue being misused ever again.”
Kakashi gave a small salute as he stood from his seat and exited with the other three shinobi.
“I can’t believe you let Iruka leave the house without coffee. Now I have to go buy a new pair of shoes.” Kotetsu groaned as his feet slapped the floor wetly, “And figure out how to get my old ones off the floor in the records room.”
“I didn’t realize he would react this badly. His new coffee maker broke this morning.”
“That does explain why he was late to his shift this morning. And why his flak jacket was on inside-out.” Izumo said as Kotetsu helped him remove a piece of paper from his hair.
“It's a little late for him to drink coffee now though, isn't it?”
“You should have gotten it for him this morning,” Kotetsu said as the piece of paper he was pulling off of Izumo’s shirt tore into smaller pieces.
“Forget it Ko, let's just go home and change. You know Iruka makes his own glue. We will have to beg him for how to get it off.”
Kotetsu sounded like he was going to start crying as the two of them walked away, leaving Kakashi behind them.
***
Kakashi arrived at the mission desk an hour later with a tray full of cups, and a bag of takeout. The room was crowded with people hanging out and watching as Iruka tore into a jonin for the poor state of his report.
“This section is completely unreadable and doesn’t even make sense, you have to fill it in appropriately. I cannot accept this.”
“I don’t have to do shit, just take the damn report and give me my money already you stupid chunin paper pusher!”
When the jonin spoke back everyone started to whisper and the room grew eerily quiet. Instead of exploding at the other shinobi as Kakashi expected, Iruka smiled and handed the other man back the report and a pen he pulled out of his bag. Iruka then called the next person forward, who displaced the rude shinobi leaving him to stand there awkwardly and confused.
The spectators in the room all began to whisper to each other. Kakashi made eye contact with Genma who started counting down on his fingers.
There was a loud pop and suddenly the rude shinobi was covered in pen ink. His report was rendered completely unreadable.
Iruka tutted, “What poor luck, your report is completely unreadable now. Looks like you’ll have to rewrite it. You can find blank reports at the back counter. When you’re finished I will take another look at it. Oh, and since you have to redo it anyway, maybe you can fill out section 1.c properly this time? Hmm? NEXT.” The room erupted in laughter and chatter.
Slowly Kakashi approached Iruka with his peace offering held out directly in front of himself.
“What's this?” Iruka's brow furrowed, “You know I’m not off the clock for another two hours at least.”
“Well, I felt bad that you didn’t get your coffee,”
“So you decided to give me coffee twelve hours later? Or is it you want to admit to breaking my coffee pot?”
“No. No. I didn’t break it. I just, thought you could use some fuel? You know. Since it’s a long shift and all. I brought Ichiraku’s as well.”
“Thank you, Kakashi. You can put it on the desk. I won't get a break for a while longer. If that’s all I have a line to get through.”
“Right.” Kakashi stepped to the side slightly shaken by Iruka’s response.
With a new resolve, he left to fix the problem.
****
“I’m home,” Iruka called out as he took his shoes off, exhaustion rolling off his shoulders.
“Welcome home,” Kakashi called from the kitchen.
“Is naruto around?”
“No. He’s staying at Shikamaru’s with some other friends for the night.”
“Hmm.” Iruka frowned as he took off his flak jacket before sitting on his couch and starting to unwrap the wrappings on his legs.
“Once you’re done in there you should come in here, I have something to show you.”
Iruka sighed but obliged and got up off the couch with a small groan, raising his arms above his head so his back popped.
“What is it?”
“I’ve got some good news and some not-so-good news.” Kakashi said as he turned around from where he was blocking Iruka’s coffee maker with his body, “The good news is, I fixed your coffee maker.”
“Oh? How?”
“Well. That’s the not-so-good news.” Kakashi said as he held his hands out to Iruka, “see this coffee cup?”
“Yes?”
“It’s the wrong kind.”
“What? No, it's,” Iruka’s face dropped in horror, “oh no.”
“You still have your old ones in the cabinet. You just mixed them up this morning.”
“Oh no .” Iruka flopped down into a kitchen chair and put his hands in his hair, “I am so sorry.”
“Hey, it’s alright.” Kakashi said as he sat down next to him pulling Iruka’s hands into his, “It’s nothing to freak out about.”
“I interrogated Naruto .”
“Well yeah. But I’m sure he’s used to it by now.”
“I covered an ANBU in glitter.”
“Yeah. You did”
“Kotetsu’s shoes!”
Kakashi started laughing and Iruka hit him lightly on the shoulder with a faint smile, “stop laughing! How am I ever going to show my face around anyone ever again!”
“Just tell them I broke your coffee maker and replaced it.”
“Ugh, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. Tomorrow is a new day. A clean slate. We just have to make sure you wake up on the right side of the bed. I have learned my lesson to never let you miss having coffee ever again. .”
Iruka started to laugh lightly, “alright. New day, new me.”
“Right. Now please tell me exactly how you pulled all of those pranks off. I want explicit details.”