Archive of Our Own

1.

Bzz.

Hearing his phone vibrate, Jaemin immediately turns his back on the paper he was working on to check what it was. He only had his notifications on for the most important of things, so it must be something of the utmost urgency. Jaemin gasps audibly at what he sees and clasps a palm over his mouth.

"Oh my god!!!" Jaemin exclaims, squealing like a little girl and kicking his feet up in the air. 

Jeno (his childhood friend and roommate) barges into his room in world record time with a sandal in his hand, ready to attack. "What is it?! Cockroach? Thief?!" 

Jaemin chooses to ignore how a thief is Jeno’s second worry after cockroaches, and spins his study chair around to face his roommate, "Yellow 323 Treats just posted a new video!" He sounds like he's about to tear up— because he is, and he holds his phone up to show Jeno the screen.

Jeno releases an exasperated sigh, "The Youtuber you've been so obsessed with recently?" He drops his sandal to the floor and slips it back on.

"Shut up, Jeno! First of all, they’re Yellow 323 Treats. And Yellow is an ASMRtist! Put some respect on their name. Second, this isn't an obsession, this is something I'm passionate about. You don't know how much this means to me." Jaemin huffs in one breath, offended. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Jeno waves him off with his hand and gets ready to leave. "As long as you're not jacking off in here, I'm good with whatever you're doing." 

"I can't believe you would say that, Lee Je—" Jeno leaves before Jaemin could complete his sentence and shuts the door.

“Stupid Jeno!” He makes sure to scream out loud, “Don't listen to him, Yellow 323 Treats." Jaemin says to his phone in a whisper and proceeds to click "Play". 

Jaemin rereads that the video for today was a rainbow crepe cake. He was beaming with excitement. He loved Yellow 323 Treats so much that he’d even given them a personal nickname— Yellow. 

At first, it wasn’t just about Yellow. Jaemin always watched cooking videos as he was the designated cook in their shared dorm, but he didn't always like the vlog background music in them. He found that he liked the organic sound of the knife hitting the chopping board rhythmically, the whisk beating an egg, and the light sizzles from an oiled pan. It gets him immersed in the video, as if he was cooking too.

Jaemin had discovered Yellow's videos a few weeks back, when he was having trouble falling asleep in the middle of the night. It was a strawberry cake recipe. He honestly didn't think that strawberries went well with cream; he just watched it out of spite. 

No way a strawberry cake would be appetizing, he said to himself as he clicked on the video. The sight of the cream-filled strawberry roll cake made him shudder.

In the end, he was pleasantly surprised that it was an ASMR video. It was the first time he had ever encountered a cooking-themed one, and it fit his taste exactly. He even thought that the strawberry cake looked delicious (against all his principles…).

That night, Jaemin decided to watch a few more. A lemon macaron video, then one on cat icebox cookies, and another, and one more... The next thing he knew, he woke up and almost got late for his lab class. Whatever the hell was in those videos were more effective than my melatonin gummies, he thought.

Sometimes, watching Yellow's ASMR cooking videos even made him rethink his college degree choices. Seeing someone seem so confident with what they’re doing and consistently doing it… He wasn’t sure if he could wake himself up everyday and be able to do that. But he wasn't going to have this talk with himself today at least. Today is a Yellow 323 Treats day.

Focusing back on the latest video, he watches Yellow carefully stir bowls of crepe batter each with a different food coloring. Yellow liked to add in some subtitles for instructions, little commentaries on what they were making, how their day went, or just random topics they thought of. That was another thing he liked about Yellow. The way they talk, their perspective on certain things— it strikes Jaemin. It was all new to him, maybe even comparable to breathing in fresh air for the first time in a while.

Jaemin thinks about it sometimes, Is it weird to feel like this? But Yellow also said something about weirdness, how they don’t think weird is a bad thing and that it meant you were or did something unique and memorable for others. Yellow taught him different ways to view things. They were also weirdly comforting. He acknowledges it— that he likes weird, too.

Now that he's thinking about it, yellow must have been his favorite color ever since he started watching Yellow's channel. The sight of yellow reminds him of their videos and how excited he is for the next one. Jaemin began to associate happiness with yellow, and appreciate the bright shade he used to think was too much. Now it’s just perfect, he glances around his room to find small traces of the said color everywhere.

As Jaemin leaves a like and shares the link on his Twitter account, he also genuinely hopes that Yellow is having the best of days, as much as his days become better when they post a video. He wonders if this parasocial relationship was getting the best of him. Could it be a bit unhealthy? Well, whatever it may be... It is making him happy, anyway.

2.

"This is such a pain." Renjun groans as Hyuck bugs him to make another video for his YouTube channel. But it was more of a whine of laziness than distaste, as he always enjoys cooking— After all, he did choose to take up Culinary Arts to get closer to fulfilling his childhood dream of becoming a pastry chef.

It's just... Renjun's bucket list never really included "become a cooking ASMRtist", but his best friend and roommate, Donghyuck, had different plans for him.

That fateful day, Renjun was baking red velvet cupcakes to try out a new recipe. It was just another ordinary day, he thought, but that was until Hyuck decided to come into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Renjun was measuring the flour he had to put in when Hyuck suddenly propped himself onto the kitchen counter. He scowls, holding onto the mixing bowl firmly as if he was protecting it, "My food is going to get dirty if you're there."

"We literally have a kitchen table because you wanted a bigger space to cook." Renjun huffs in response but still moves all of his equipment onto the table.

"Anyway, can I watch you bake?" Hyuck asks him. Renjun looks up at him with suspicion and stares for 5 long seconds, visibly thinking.

"I promise I'll stay quiet..." He adds, showing a little desperation to stay. 

Renjun squints at him, having a hard time believing his friend. Hyuck looks at Renjun pleadingly in response. 

Renjun has no idea why he wanted to watch him so badly, but he was feeling a bit generous that day. "Okay, but if I hear a single noise from you, you're out." His red-haired friend smiles and nods enthusiastically.

It felt weird how Hyuck was staring at him so intently all the while. Renjun thought he was probably getting bored, but it was what he signed up for. Renjun preferred complete silence when he was cooking so that he could concentrate. 

Sift, mix. Pour, hand mixer. Cupcake pan, cupcake liner, scoop. Oven temperature, place pan. His mind enumerates as if it was a chant. Renjun continues to ignore Hyuck’s gaze and absentmindedly taps his fingers against the counter after placing his first batch into the oven.

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

Ding! "Oh my god, Renjun, hear me out." Hyuck blurts out as if it was on cue. 

Ignore, cool cupcakes. Renjun takes his cupcake pan from the oven.

"Junnie," Hyuck calls out again. Ignore, Renjun. Place second batch.

Hyuck calls out with an even more obnoxious and cutesy tone, "Renjunnie~! Come on, look at me…!”

Renjun shoots him a quick glance. "You're not getting a cupcake." Make frosting.

"Hey! Not fair!" Hyuck whines as he stomps his feet in the air.

"Ha! More for me!" Jeno, Hyuck's boyfriend, celebrates from the living room right across the kitchen.

"I'm the roommate and the best friend!" Hyuck protests.

"But you're the one annoying me here," Renjun says, crossing his arms but careful not to contaminate his piping bag.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're favoring your best friend's boyfriend more than your best friend himself." Hyuck pinches the bridge of his nose like he was trying to hold back tears.

"You're so dramatic. Obviously, even if I tell you not to get one, you would? Even maybe two."

"Okay, you're right. I’d even get three. But anyway, Renjun! I'm serious, I have a really really great idea, so listen to me."

"Can't it wait until I'm finished with these? You're lucky I even let you watch me bake."

"Yes, and I am extremely grateful for that, but you really need to hear me out, Renjun." Hyuck pushes on.

"Fine," Renjun grumbles in defeat, frost cupcakes. "What is your wonderful idea now?" Though Renjun doesn’t have high expectations, especially after multiple “wonderful” ideas that led to him losing hair, a bruise, a sudden fear of umbrellas, and so on (Renjun chooses not to elaborate on any).

"Let's make a YouTube channel!" Hyuck says with immense enthusiasm. 

"You’re kidding," Renjun scoffs, but the silence makes him realize that Hyuck wasn’t laughing with him. He looks up at his friend, “Right?” 

Once they lock eyes, Hyuck starts explaining, "You can do ASMR cooking videos! You like cooking in silence and you're really delicate. It wouldn't be too hard on the ears. Plus, you're super attentive to details and creative. Everything you make is really aesthetic and satisfying. Your plating would put fancy restaurants to shame. I could guarantee 100% that people will love you. Isn't it a great idea?" He finishes, making the exact same expectant smile a salesman would after trying to sell you this brand new product that would likely be defective in a few weeks.

Apparently, he wasn’t being sarcastic. Hyuck really believes that it's a great idea. Renjun feels a great urge to rub his face in incredulity, but doesn't want to do that because he wasn't finished with his cupcakes yet. He takes a deep breath instead.

"I have no idea how to edit videos. Or graphic designing. Or whatever else a YouTube channel needs." Renjun says anything at the top of his mind to talk his friend out of it. No way would he be able to maintain a Youtube channel with his messy schedule of laboratory classes and piled-up school work.

"Easy, I can do it." Hyuck immediately replies, not a hint of hesitation in his words. Renjun knew that once Hyuck sounded so confident, there was no going back. He's never going to stop talking about this, fully convinced that they could pull this off. Think, Renjun... You can't take up a commitment like this.

"How about the mic? And who's going to take the videos? We don't have a good camera." Good one, Renjun. 

"I have a mic, remember? I literally study singing." Right. Renjun did not think that one through.

"As for the camera..." Hyuck glances into the living room, "Jeno. His phone's got a decent camera, I think it would work out." Great. Renjun quickly accepts the fact that Donghyuck will make him a Youtuber no matter what it takes.

"What?" Jeno stands up and heads to the kitchen after hearing his name, "Why am I suddenly in the conversation—"

"Baby," Hyuck calls out when Jeno arrives in front of him, wrapping his legs around Jeno's waist. It was a signal for Renjun to get back to his cupcakes.

"Let's make Renjun a YouTube channel. Be the cameraman, or at least lend me your phone." Renjun hears a few smooching sounds shortly after. He sticks his tongue out in disgust.

"Hmm? What do you say?" He hears Hyuck ask again.

"Okay," Jeno responds in a hurry. The smooching sounds return.

Renjun cannot believe this man. Weak. He also cannot believe how they are making out on the kitchen counter while Renjun and his babies (red velvet cupcakes) were around. 

Ignore, keep piping. Smooch. No!

"Could you please... take this act of indecency elsewhere..." Renjun begs as he fails to concentrate on his babies.

"Oh, sorry." Hyuck gets off the counter and whispers something to Jeno before he leaves, seemingly in a trance. Renjun would have to leave once he’s finished with all the cupcakes if he wanted to avoid witnessing an even greater act of indecency.

"So, are you up for it? You can decide what to make for each video and I'll do everything else." Hyuck continues to bargain while he picks up a finished cupcake.

"Whatever you want..." Renjun just sighs as he pipes frosting onto the remaining cupcakes.

"Alright!" Hyuck raises his hands into the air as a sign of victory. "I'm going to make you the best ASMRtist the world has ever seen!" He quickly hugs Renjun from his side before skipping out of the kitchen.

And that was how Yellow 323 Treats was created.

Renjun admits that he agreed to do it just because he knew Hyuck would never stop bringing it up. He thought it would die down fast, especially because it was a lot of extra work for his friend, but the videos surprisingly had good responses. 

Hyuck loved sharing Renjun's creativity, and the attention it got was just a bonus. Renjun would never say it out loud but he felt like the gods really blessed him when they made Hyuck his friend. Ever since they were kids, Hyuck always encouraged him to cook, and that was one of the several reasons why Renjun still loved doing it.

Aside from that, Renjun would be lying if he said the response didn't make him feel validated and a bit more pleased with himself. He doesn’t think he’s the best (as Hyuck would tell him), or even remotely as good as his other classmates, but seeing other people like his videos and saying it looks good even if they couldn’t taste it… People believing in him… It was encouraging. It somehow convinces him that pursuing this path could be the right choice.

3.

Jaemin lets out a surprised yelp in the middle of a train ride going back to his dorm. He covers his mouth quickly to suppress the noise, but the surrounding passengers are already side-eyeing him. The one beside him even tries to casually peek into his phone. 

And why are they all so nosy on a Sunday afternoon? He smiles a fake apologetic smile to save face, even if he really didn’t care at all.

He clicks on the notification with haste and fishes his bag for his earphones. He wouldn't be Yellow 323 Treat's (self-proclaimed) number 1 fan if he didn't check the new video out at the moment of release, would he?

When he opens the video, Jaemin is faced with a different angle and abominable lighting. He pauses the video to contemplate on it first.

Jaemin knows that their videos would usually be filmed from a higher angle to show mostly only Yellow’s hands. But in this one, the camera was not angled and was just set up straight in front of Yellow. It revealed most of their upper body, up a bit past their elbow. The lighting also strangely felt like it was his dorm’s kitchen lighting at night when Jaemin tried to make a quick snack in the midst of all-nighters. It wasn’t the regular natural daylight he was used to.

Other than that, the video was also shorter than usual and looks a bit clumsily edited. It was something different, indeed. Jaemin double-checked if it was really Yellow, and it really is. The person in the video had their hand’s birthmark and moles in the same places. Though it was an unfamiliar atmosphere, Jaemin wouldn’t stop watching anyway.

He presses play. “Hi!” The captions appear. Yellow awkwardly stands in front of the camera and shyly waves at the camera. Jaemin unconsciously grins at the sight, thinking that it was so endearing.

The captions continue, “I know the angle is a bit weird… But my friend who directs the videos for me is bedridden from the flu.”

“It’s getting cold these days, so I hope all of you are staying warm and healthy.” Jaemin thinks he could cry. Yellow must be an angel sent from above.

“Anyway, he told me that I //must// post a video by Sunday, saying it was his dying wish, so here I am. (Don’t worry, my friend is still alive^^)” Jaemin reads, thinking that Yellow talks so adorably in their captions.

“Please bear with me, it’s not a perfect video, but I am doing my best. TT” Jaemin successfully fights the urge to say “You’re doing so well, baby~” out loud. This must be how Twitter stans live, he thinks as he types out a comment.

Jaemin finds himself keenly staring at Yellow’s hands as there was no food in the video to get his attention. He always thought that their hands were so pretty, but even more so right now, especially after he fixated on them for a few minutes.

Jaemin loves leaving comments on Yellow’s videos as a sign of appreciation. He’s never noticed Yellow liking or replying to comments, so he thinks Yellow would never see his— but this gave him even more relief. Please never read my comments, they’re embarrassing, he wishes.

4.

"Renjun," Hyuck calls out once he steps out of his room, voice still hoarse from all the coughing. He finds Renjun sprawled on their couch, scrolling on his phone.

"Renjun, did you know that there's always this one commenter who simps so hard for you?" Hyuck sounds amused, making Renjun curiously stare up at him. He signals Renjun to move so that he can sit.

“I didn’t know. Who is it?” Renjun sits up and crosses his legs to make room for Hyuck.

"It's this one," Hyuck shifts his phone in front of Renjun's face, "Nana with the kissy face emoji and Snowball profile picture."

"Lol," Renjun enunciates it like it was a word, "That's cute."

Hyuck isn’t convinced that Renjun really means it from his unchanging expression. He scrunches up his nose, "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, but you should see your comments!"

Renjun is back to scrolling on his phone, "I couldn’t care less about the comments, honestly."

"But they're good comments! I think it'd give you a good confidence boost because I know I am not enough to remind you that you're amazing.” Renjun looks up at Hyuck as he says the last part. Though there is a bit of truth in that, he worries that he was making his friend feel bad.

“Hey! It’s normal to feel that way!” Hyuck shifts topics. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that or that I’m upset with you— I know you love me so much,” Renjun rolls his eyes at this, “I just wanted to let you know that there are a lot of other people who want to tell you that you’re amazing.”

“Oh, and if you're worried about the stupid ones, I've already reported and deleted them," Hyuck says proudly. "No one is allowed to talk about my Renjunnie like that!"

"Sometimes I ask myself if you're my boyfriend or Renjun's." Jeno, who was seated comfortably on a nearby beanbag, suddenly speaks up at the scene.

Hyuck turns his head toward his boyfriend, "Jeno, we've had this conversation already.”

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend away from you." Renjun gives Jeno an apologetic glance.

"No, you're cool, Injunnie. Don’t worry about it." Jeno shoots a thumbs up toward Renjun’s way.

"Injunnie?!" Hyuck turns to Jeno, his neck making a popping sound at the speed.

"Yeah, it’s his name…?”

Hyuck looks back at Renjun, "Why does this guy—” he points to Jeno, “— get to call you Injunnie?!"

"Hey! I'm not just this guy, I’m your boyfriend!"

Renjun can only sigh as he witnesses the couple bicker for the nth time. He opens the Youtube channel, considering Hyuck’s suggestion. Maybe it would be worthwhile to check the comments every now and then. He couldn't really deny that he likes words of affirmation. Renjun skims through the comment section of a few videos.

They really are nice comments, a small smile escapes from Renjun’s lips as he presses like on each one he reads. They were all pleasant, even in the latest video in which Renjun had to do everything himself. He just couldn’t believe that a lot of people actually liked the channel. 

It had a growing subscriber count, and not that Renjun cared about the numbers, but it meant that many viewers enjoyed watching the videos enough to subscribe. Of course, this wasn’t only about him— Hyuck (and Jeno) put so much effort into this channel and he wouldn’t want to disappoint them. He’ll keep making videos as long as they both still want to do so. After all, he wouldn't even be making videos if Hyuck didn't urge him to (and force Jeno to be the cameraman).

He also thinks he has the courage to keep going because of the lovely comments. There were also a few users that showed up in his comments consistently, like “Nana” who Hyuck mentioned earlier. They always popped up at the top spot of the comment section, might be because of the many likes? Admittedly, they were quite interesting and distinct from the usual “Nice video as always!” and “Thank you for another great ASMR video!” comments.

On "If You Like It, Put a 🍭 Candy Ring 💍 On It (ASMR No Talking)"

On "Soft 🥛 Milk Bread 🍞 For Breakfast? (ASMR No Talking)"

On "Here's My 💛 Heart Cake 🍰 For You! (ASMR No Talking)"

Renjun laughs at the comments. He comes to understand why the user was popular in the comment section, they were funny (Renjun thinks flirting is funny now because of Hyuck).

Riiiiing!

Renjun flinches in surprise. “Sorry, it’s my roommate. It might be urgent ‘cause he doesn’t usually choose to call much.” Hyuck nods in response and tells him to go back to his dorm in case it was an emergency.

“Jeno, you won’t believe what just happened!” Renjun hears the voice on the other line as Jeno passes by him on the way to the door. He just shrugs and goes back to scrolling through the comments. 

5.

“One day, I’m really going to block your number on my phone and move out.” Jeno declares as soon as he enters his shared dorm with Jaemin, though he has never seriously considered doing it.

“No!” Jeno hears Jaemin exclaim from below.

Thump!

Jeno looks around just to find him lying on the living room floor, rubbing his forehead that had hit the coffee table. Jaemin groans in pain.

“Why on earth are you on the floor…?” Jeno questions. It’s not that this hasn’t happened before, but Jeno wonders, isn’t it supposedly a good thing when the person you admire notices you…?

“You already know why!” Jaemin curls back onto the wooden floor, hugging his legs to his chest.

“I’m just trying to make sure you’re not sick or anything. Are you… crying? Is this because they replied to your comment?”

“Yes, Jeno. I am sobbing and immobile because Yellow 323 Treats replied to me and liked my humiliating comments. It’s my end as their number one fan. I’m going to be reported and called disgusting.” Jaemin props himself up and leans onto the nearest wall.

“You’re ridiculous." Jaemin wasn’t sure to which point Jeno responded to. Maybe it was all of it.

"You are." Jaemin sulks. He knows he’s being ridiculous. Having a teensy-little crush on an ASMRtist just because they had pretty hands and good videos was the first sign. "He liked my cringiest comment. I should’ve deleted it when I could.” 

“Isn’t it a happy thing? For them to see your words of affection?”

“No!” Jaemin replies in a rush, but bites his lip in hesitation. “Yes? I don’t know! I want to stop thinking about this. Also, you can't move out because you can't live without me." He tries to divert the conversation.

"I could. My boyfriend's roommate can cook." 

"I'm better than them!" Jaemin crosses his arms, even though he has absolutely no idea who Haechan’s roommate ever was.

"You don't know that?”

“Okay, fine. I’m sorry, Jeno's boyfriend's best friend.”

“He’s a great guy. I’ll let you meet him when he’s free. He usually has a part-time job at this hour so I’m not sure when that’ll be.” The whole Yellow comment-liking fiasco took up about 7 business days worth of his personal energy supply, so Jaemin hopes it wouldn’t be too soon.

“By the way, are you making dinner?” Jeno asks as their previous topic passes. “We could order out if you don’t want to cook.”

“I’ll cook.” Jaemin says, finally standing up and dusting himself off. “To make up for all the times you get stressed by my fanboying, I’m going to make the jjamppong recipe you like so much.”

“Alright, thanks!” Jeno brightens up and heads straight to his room, “I’m hungry so make it by 7.”

Jaemin gazes at the wall clock above their sofa, 6:30 pm. “Hey, I'm not some kind of super chef!"

"Love you!" Jeno's voice comes out muffled from his room.

"Ugh, love you too!" Jaemin slams the front door on his way out.

On the way to the nearest grocery store, Jaemin searches YouTube for Yellow's jjamppong video again and takes a screenshot of the ingredients list. Jeno seemed to really like this version, and said it was even quite familiar. 

Remembering Jeno talking about his boyfriend's roommate, he scoffs. "I mean, I know I’m not that great of a cook, but I think I'm pretty decent?" He blows warm air into his hands, realizing he's forgotten his gloves.

"Like, if Haechan's roommate was Yellow, I probably wouldn’t deny it? That's a whole different story." Jaemin suddenly feels a shiver up his spine. Suddenly so cold, I should have gotten my coat, he curses Jeno under his breath for hurrying him to go.

"Would you want a plastic bag for your things?" The cashier at the counter asks him.

"I have a bag for groceries, thanks." Jaemin responds, pulling out his phone to check his screenshot from earlier.

"Oh, uh—” He turns his body to face the bagger without looking up from his phone, “before you put them in, could I double check with my list first? I might have forgotten something."

"Sure, no problem." Jaemin thinks the bagger has a sweet voice. They also seem to have scanned through all the items Jaemin bought, as they asked, "Are you making jjamppong?"

Jaemin looks up to see possibly the most beautiful and adorable human alive. He always went to this specific grocery store, so he wondered why this was the first time he'd ever seen him. Is it because he's never been to counter 07? Or maybe it's the time frame? Jaemin makes a mental note that it was currently about 6:45 pm.

"Sorry," the bagger smiles shyly, and it was enough to recover all the social battery Jaemin had lost due to the earlier incident. Renjun, Jaemin takes a peek at his nametag.

"No, you're fine. I am making jjamppong," Jaemin awkwardly chuckles. 

"I just have this little guessing game with myself on what dishes people are going to make for dinner." Renjun explains while bagging Jaemin’s things. Wow, that is so cute. That's adorable. He has a really cute brain.

“It’s cute,” Jaemin mumbles unintentionally and fails to notice how Renjun’s cheeks slightly redden, “I mean, how did you get that? From the grocery items?”

“I can make a really good jjamppong,” pretty bagger seems to flutter his eyes at him (that or Jaemin is hallucinating everything). Wait, no, what if…

"Oh, do you perhaps know this YouTube channel?" Jaemin questions himself as to why he's asking this lame question to this super cute guy in front of him, even exposing himself as a fan of a niche interest, but still, he raises his phone to let Renjun see.

Jaemin doesn’t see Renjun's eyes widen in surprise for a bit before answering. "Kinda?"

"You do? Oh my god, I love them!” That was so uncool, Jaemin. 

"Thank— Really? That's great..." Renjun trails off, his ears turning red. 

Jaemin decides to shut up before he could say anything else he’d regret. His eyes follow the bagger's gloved hands as he places the last of Jaemin's groceries into the paper bags.

Was that a really bad first impression? Asking if he knew Yellow... What if he thought that was weird... but super cute guy knows Yellow, too? So that's a thing we have in common? Jaemin remembers that Yellow likes seeing the positive things in life, a commentary from their bloopers compilation.

Jaemin, comforted by Yellow’s words, walks home and cooks Jeno's jjamppong with a smile on his face. (Jeno thinks it's weird but the jjamppong tasted extra delicious today, so he says nothing of it.)

6.

"Hyuck," Renjun calls out to his roommate as soon as he enters the door to their apartment. He hears a few bumps, a thing falling onto their wooden floors, and finally—

Slam!

Renjun almost drops his phone at how Hyuck swung his bedroom door close. "Woah, what's up with you acting like I caught you or something? Were you doing some… stuff with Jeno right now?” Renjun raises an eyebrow at the said roommate. Donghyuck looks distraught.

"No? He left earlier and I’m sick as hell, remember?” he replies defensively. Renjun's mouth forms a small 'o' in realization.

“Anyway, you look okay? I thought something happened when I heard you call my name so seriously!”

"I’m sorry but, well,” Renjun pauses ominously, “something did happen."

"What is it?!" Hyuck frantically inspects all of Renjun’s visible body parts. “I swear I’m going to ruin them if they ever laid a hand on you,” he says as he lifts Renjun’s left arm.

"No, it's nothing bad." Hyuck sighs of relief, letting go of his arm. Renjun laughs at his best friend's overprotectiveness then walks into the kitchen to get their dinner ready.

"So you know how I have this part-time job at the grocery store, right?"

"Yeah, why? Do you wanna quit or something?" Hyuck situates himself opposite Renjun on the kitchen table.

"No, no, it's just—"

"What? A rude customer?" Hyuck furrows his eyebrows.

"No, wait—"

"Oh, is it a coworker being shitty? Show me their face right now!" Renjun sees Hyuck straighten up and clench a fist. In all his pajamas-and-crazy-bed-hair glory, he even adds, "Let me see that fucker—"

"Oh my god, let me finish, will you?"

"Okay, I'm sorry, what is it?"

"Right, I was bagging this customer's groceries and I accidentally said, 'Are you making jjamppong?’ out loud. You know I guess people’s menu sometimes, right?” Haechan nods. “Then, I don't know, he must have thought that I recognized the ingredients list of some YouTube channel's recipe, so he asked me if I knew this certain channel and..."

"And...?" Hyuck leans forward in anticipation.

"He showed me a screenshot from one of our videos—"

Hyuck cuts him off again, "Our videos?!"

"Yeah, our videos! A really recent one, too?!" Renjun excitedly stomps his feet. Hyuck hops toward Renjun’s side.

"That's so cute, oh my god!" Hyuck holds his hands while they bounce up and down, "I told you this channel was the best idea of my life!"

"And there's more!" Renjun shakes their hands up and down. "He's..."

"He's...?"

"He's cute, too..." His best friend gasps dramatically. 

“Anything else? Did you get his number? Please tell me you at least got his name."

"I didn't." Renjun makes a strained face, and leaves out the part where he tries to subtly flirt with them.

Hyuck drops his hands and says in a nagging voice, "Huang Renjun!"

“You know I can’t do that!” Of course, he draws the line at directly asking for another person’s name when he already (very slightly) implied inviting him over for a bowl of jjamppong.

“It’s been so long since you’ve ever called a man cute and you don’t even try to ask for his name!” Hyuck, like his mood, turns his back to Renjun and drags his feet to his room.

"I promise, the next time I see him I'll know!" Renjun thinks it’s a silly promise he won’t be able to keep, but he really did want to learn the jjamppong guy’s name. 

"You better make sure of it! Swear on the universe and the heavens! To the gods! Invite him out for a meal!"

Renjun laughs, thinking about how absurd it is. He doesn't even know when he'll be seeing that guy again. He was just delighted to see someone expressing that they liked their channel in person— a sign from the universe that it was all real. It was just an extra treat that he was really cute.

“Did you hear me?” Haechan’s head peeks out of his room’s door. “Invite him to a meal. Actually, you should cook for him. The way to a man’s heart is through the stomach.” 

Renjun just shakes his head, earning an eye roll from his friend. “Think about it.” Another door slam.

Renjun doubts there was anything to think about. Maybe it would be a one time thing from the universe, because he hasn’t ever seen the handsome customer go there before (during his shift, at least). If that were so, he’d be much more at peace with keeping his subtle — almost non-existent — flirting skills to himself. Renjun trusts the universe. It wouldn’t embarrass him. Hopefully.

7.

"I'm going to be late. Kun's going to kill me," Renjun mutters under his breath, seated on one of the many benches inside his college campus. He anxiously shakes his legs, as he waits in the cold for Hyuck’s boyfriend to pick up the USB he so desperately asked for.

"Where the fuck is Jeno?" He says while furiously typing the said message into his phone.

Trust the universe bullshit, Renjun’s impatience takes over him. If it were on his side, something good had to come out of being late for work. It had to be really great for him to get through another time management talk with Kun again.

Like the universe just wanted to mess with him for a while, Haechan’s name finally appears on Renjun’s phone.

haechannie

omg my messages didnt send
i'm really sorry babes :( i’ll make it up to you i promise
i forgot jeno had to go to an appointment with his cats' vet
so jeno's friend is going to pick it up instead
his name is jaemin

renjun

well where is this guy?
i'm going to be late to the grocery :((
i cant be late again...
u know how kun-ge goes…

haechannie

wait
he told me he was just near your building

"Hi," Renjun hears heavy panting from his side, "are you Haechan's friend?" He turns to see a guy who had his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

"Do you want some water?" Renjun hurriedly locates his tumbler from his meticulously-packed backpack.

"Thank you," Jeno’s friend, apparently named Jaemin, accepts the water and lifts it so that his lips don't touch the rim. Wonderful of him.

"Oh," Renjun finally recognizes him and is half horrified, half giddy. He’s not sure whether to keep trusting the universe or not, "You're the jjamppong guy from the grocery...?"

Jaemin almost chokes, "Pretty bagger?! I mean— haha, small world! I didn't know you were Haechan's friend..."

Pretty? He pretends he didn’t hear. "I didn't know you were Jeno's friend either," Renjun mirrors what Jaemin said in a flurry. Jaemin continues to stand as if he was frozen. So, this is it, the universe has decided to embarrass Renjun.

"Jaemin?" He calls out to the seemingly absentminded guy in front of him, still in disbelief that he actually committed to his promise with Donghyuck to find out the handsome-grocery-store-and-youtube-channel-liker guy’s name. 

"Yes, I'm Jaemin." He smiles, his cheeks becoming a soft shade of red. 

"I'm Renjun," he replies. It was so awkward, but Renjun didn’t dislike it.

“Ah yes, I remember—” Jaemin starts. Renjun doesn’t think anything of it. “Anyway, uh, Haechan's USB... right?"

"Right, right." Renjun stands up and fishes his pocket for it. He quickly places it on Jaemin’s open palm, his fingertips lightly grazing with Jaemin’s hand. 

Zap—  

Renjun could imagine the little electric sparks they draw in cartoons, even if he wore the thickest of gloves. "I'll, uh, get going. I'm late for my part-time."

All the while, Jaemin was staring at his gloved hand. "Right." Jaemin closes his fist to hold the USB securely, "Take care." he gives a toothy grin.

That’s a really nice smile. 

Oh god. Renjun, get up.

"I’ll… see you around," Renjun shifts his weight on one leg, wanting to delay leaving for work until the last possible minute. He thinks it’s fascinating, how he didn’t even have to search over the whole country just to know his name. With that, Renjun decides that the universe was indeed on his side.

“Do you always go to the grocery I work at?” He asks, in the hopes of having a lot of other chances to see him and talk to him. It might be a bit unprofessional and unethical from a workplace perspective, but Kun would probably support the cause, right?

“I do,” Jaemin nods, “Funny how I’ve never seen you before, though. When are your shifts usually…?” Renjun takes it that he wasn’t the only one who wanted other chances to talk?

“I work on weekdays, flexible hours but never past 8pm.” Jaemin nods, “I start today at 4:30pm.” Renjun checks his phone. 4:27 pm.

“Oh shit, I really have to go,” Renjun starts jogging in the opposite direction from Jaemin in haste.

"Wait, it's this way!" Jaemin points behind him with his thumb. Renjun shuts his eyes, Fuck, this is so embarrassing.

"Right!" Renjun laughs breathily and dashes past Jaemin, "Thank you!" 

Maybe he wants to bury himself 10 feet under the ground a little. Maybe the snow could do that. He wishes snow would rain heavily right now. But no, because that would mean he’d be even later for work. Right, he wonders why he would ever do that to himself when Kun would do the burying instead.

Renjun curses himself for failing to keep track of time because of a man. I call Jeno weak when I am weak myself. He swears on his favorite Moomin plushie that he will never humiliate himself in front of Jaemin ever again.

8.

Renjun would be lying if he said he wasn’t waiting for the next time Jaemin comes to the grocery store during his shift. He’s thought about it— Haechan’s suggestion to invite him for a meal— maybe even more than he’d want to admit, but he has concluded that: The next time he sees Jaemin, he’s going to invite him for a homemade dinner (very subtly, in the hopes that it comes out naturally). So here he was, impatiently tapping on his assigned check-out counter, bagging groceries with lightning speed, and quickly taking glances at the entrance in between.

“Hi,” Renjun hears a familiar voice from behind.

“Oh, Jaemin!” Renjun thinks he sounds a bit too excited. “Hi. You’re here.”

Renjun gulps nervously. He can hear Haechan’s voice in his head urging him to ask the question. You got this, Renjun, imaginary Haechan says to him.

“Hi, I’m here,” Jaemin smiles at him. Renjun feels a little jump in his chest. He could get used to Jaemin smiling at him like this.

“Had to get,” Jaemin pauses, taking a peek at whatever the cashier was scanning, “some eggs. Just… ran out.” Jaemin slowly says, seemingly unsure of his words.

If Renjun were a bit more crazy, he would be assuming that Jaemin went to buy just anything to see him.

Renjun laughs, “Did they really?” Okay, he might be a little crazy.

“Couldn’t catch them.” Jaemin tries to joke. “Did you see them?” He hands Renjun his grocery bag despite there being only one item on the counter. Renjun takes it anyway, neatly placing the egg carton inside—

“What if I caught them and made you an eggs benedict?” Attempt one, Renjun says in his head, secretly crossing his fingers in his apron’s pocket. It was a random dish, and the first one he’d thought of, but he hopes it works.

“You’d make me one?” Jaemin stares, doe-eyed and batting his eyes. Renjun has never really stared at him before, so it’s just now that he notices Jaemin’s extremely long eyelashes. Jaemin keeps looking at him, his gaze unwavering.

“If you’d like…” Renjun looks down, avoiding Jaemin’s eyes, as it was starting to make him flustered. He discovers that he is weak to pretty eyes, or was it pretty people with pretty eyes?

“I do!” Jaemin blurts out to Renjun’s surprise. “I’ve never tried one, that is. Haha.”

“You could—”

“Ah, maybe Yellow 323 Treats has a video on it! I’ll try it out.”

“Right,” Renjun gives a wry smile. That’s fine, Renjun, he didn’t reject you. Maybe Jaemin just thought it was a jokey-joke. It would sound like one in the context of the situation, he convinces himself.

“I’ll see you?” Jaemin says softly. Renjun nods in reply, wishing it was in the tone of a question for future plans of seeing each other. Hopefully, Jaemin didn’t feel awkward about the earlier incident and wouldn’t move to the rival grocery store a few blocks ahead because of it (Kun would kick his ass out). He mentally says sorry to Moomin plushie #3, the favorite one, because he did embarrass himself in front of Jaemin again. 

Kriiing—

Once Jaemin exits and the hanging bells on the front doors ring, Renjun relaxes and releases a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He didn’t know asking someone out for dinner would be so hard. Can’t Jaemin just barge into their dorm just like Jeno does?

“So who was that?” The cashier at their counter, Yangyang, asks him, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. He should have seen this coming.

Renjun sighs. “Mind your business, Yangyang.” The cashier shrugs in response.

“He’s pretty.” Renjun glares threateningly. Yangyang raises his hands up in the air, laughing, “Not my type. Just wanted to say good luck.”

“I hate you,” Renjun pouts. If Yangyang got the message, Jaemin would have too. He ruffles his hair in a post-flirting awareness cringe. He’ll have plenty of other chances, right? Jaemin will be back some time soon (unreliable opinion). 

9.

Renjun didn’t think “some time soon” would be the day right after— he’s thrilled that he wasn’t scared away by yesterday’s happenings. This time, he notices Jaemin entering the store and sees him bringing yet another single item to the counter.

“Ran out of salt this time?” Renjun gives him a teasing look, raising both eyebrows. Jaemin bites his bottom lip as he nods.

“I thought I saw you buying salt the other time?” Renjun takes Jaemin’s grocery bag like a routine.

“I did—” Jaemin freezes for a split second, “—didn’t. I mean, I’ve used it all up, I guess.” He scratches at his nape and looks away. Renjun sees him scrunching up his nose. Cute.

“You must like putting a lot of salt in your food?”

“I love salt,” Jaemin says, but it seemed like a lie. “I season very generously.”

“I’ll keep that information in mind for future use.” Renjun smiles as he bags the salt pouch. He also sees Jaemin quickly redden, appearing to think of a reply.

“See you again soon,” Renjun cuts him off because he doesn’t think he can take Jaemin reciprocating just yet. Jaemin quietly waves goodbye, leaving.

Renjun exhales loudly. “My god.” How the fuck does Haechan do this…

Yangyang nudges Renjun with his elbow, “Came in real strong today, Junnie.”

“Shut up,” Renjun breathes out, clutching at his heart. He didn’t think he’d be saying these things, too— It surprised him himself. But he kind of likes the feeling in his chest when Jaemin gets flustered, blushing, and thinking of what to reply back.

He was really cute, Renjun unconsciously smiled to himself. I hope he comes back again soon.

10.

“Going out?” Jeno catches Jaemin by their front door, slipping on his shoes.

“Grocery.” Jaemin replies, not looking up.

“Again?” Jaemin feels Jeno eyeing him suspiciously. What was he saying, it’s only been 2 days since Jaemin bought that bag of salt (that they didn’t actually need). It’s just the right time to go back to the store.

“What did you forget this time?” Jeno asks.

“Um. We don’t have milk anymore.”

“You don’t even drink milk?”

“You do. And I do now.” Jaemin says, lying through his teeth.

“After 10 years?”

“People change, Jeno.”

“Alright…” Jeno says, disbelief evident in his voice, and stares at Jaemin as he leaves their dorm.

“You ran out of milk today?” Renjun raises an eyebrow playfully. No, not you, too… Jaemin eyes a box of coffee sachets near the counter and grabs one.

“Is the milk for Jeno?” Renjun puts out a hand, anticipating Jaemin’s grocery bag.

“For me.” Jaemin answers immediately, “Jeno could drink some, too.” He shrugs, handing the bag. Jaemin doesn’t know why he’s lying like this— having crushes must make you a pathological liar.

“I just remembered Jeno saying you don’t like milk,” Renjun giggles, and Jaemin’s brain almost short-circuits. Renjun giggles, Renjun giggles are a national treasure…

"Do you like coffee?" Renjun then asks him. All the Jaemins in his brain factory panic. What should he answer? Yeah, he likes coffee. He loves and breathes coffee.

But what if Renjun didn't like coffee? What if this was a critical question for Renjun to decide if he should ask Jaemin out on a date? Does Renjun like the ambiance in cafés—

"Jaemin?" Why is Renjun looking at him like that, using sparkly-shining-twinkly eyes… 

"Are you okay? Feeling sick? You look so red," Renjun almost reaches out to touch Jaemin's forehead.

"I'm fine and I like coffee. More than salt," Jaemin manages to respond before Renjun does, letting out the most awkward crush giggle he has ever let out in his whole life. He feels like crying (despair).

"Great," Renjun smiles at him, handing him his tote bag. ”I’ve been learning to make coffee recently. Maybe you’d like to try a cup?”

Jaemin blanks out. The little Jaemins in his brain are stomping and jumping on him to answer. How was he supposed to answer a very obvious invite? Hurry, Jaemin, Renjun is looking at you. With his big, round, and adorable eyes.

“Sure, thank you,” Jaemin finally manages to say, which is still not a very definitive answer.

Renjun kept smiling, though. “Okay, I’ll be seeing you then.” Jaemin waves goodbye again today, pretty much as a defense mechanism when he wanted to hide from Renjun. Renjun waves back, and he takes it as a cue to leave.

“You forgot to ask for his number, idiot.” Jaemin hears an unfamiliar voice behind him say as he was exiting. He doesn’t pay much attention to it. He has more important things to think about (Renjun asking him to try his brewed coffee). 

11.

After their first encounter in the grocery and at their university, Jaemin may or may not have been increasing his visits to the grocery store to see the brown-haired bagger with the yellow winter gloves. Though actually, it’s been a while since he last went (only 5 days). Renjun might think he was being a creep, but he missed him so terribly much (again, it’s only been 5 days).

Believe it or not, Jaemin tries his best to not make an utter fool of himself every time he drops by. It’s just that Renjun always takes him by surprise; he had never mentally prepared himself for whatever Renjun said. The conversations in his head never went like that… As much as Jaemin wanted to say yes to his invites, his brain just shuts down. The next time will be different, he promises to himself.

Other than that, Jaemin thinks he might have to think up of other excuses to go to the grocery— Jeno has been giving him increasingly concerned looks every time he says he forgot to buy something.

Jaemin hugs his phone, "Yellow, you are so amazing. It's my favorite dessert for this week's video..." He could cry (affectionate), "And how did you know that I wanted to see my crush at the grocery store right now?" He opens up the notification and diligently watches.

Jeno watches Jaemin walk to the front door with worry in his eyes. "Are you... going to the grocery store again?"

Jaemin stops after putting on his slip-ons, "Yes, I'm making tiramisu tonight."

"Okay..." His roommate scans him up and down. "Stay safe." Jaemin wasn't sure if he heard "safe" or "sane".

It should be easy to talk to Renjun today, Jaemin convinces himself as he walks up to counter 07. It’s the nth time they’ve had small talk—

"Oh, you didn’t forget anything today? It looks like you’re making tiramisu?" Renjun looks up at him with excitement. He is literally shining again today, Jaemin thinks.

"You're exactly right. Again," Jaemin nervously chuckles, still unsure what to say to Renjun after all his self-pep talk. Jaemin feels the cashier side-eyeing them.

"Actually..." Renjun trails off, while reaching for Jaemin's groceries. Jaemin fixates his gaze on him again. "I just made some. Do you want to take some to your dorm?"

"I mean, not because I don't think you'll make a good one. I'd love to taste whatever you make, too. It's just, I have a lot in my fridge right now." Renjun rambles, panicked. "And every time I ask if you want to try my food... it's for more taste testers? I'm a culinary student. Haha. And I'm sick of Haechan and Jeno just flirting in front of my food."

Jaemin feels like crying again (emotionally overwhelmed). Renjun reassuring him like this and even offering his food again... He's thanking the heavens and his past self for whatever great deed he did for present Jaemin to deserve this right now.

"If it's too much of a hassle right now, don't mind it." Renjun gives him a sheepish grin as he finishes packing Jaemin's groceries.

"No, it's not! I could come over after your shift." Jaemin's brain cell is finally pushing him to speak coherent sentences.

“Great!” Renjun gives him a bright smile, Jaemin feels his heart running laps. “Could I get your number?” 

Klangklangklang—

The cashier accidentally drops the coins they were most likely counting onto the register. Exactly, Jaemin can’t believe it either. He’s relieved he isn’t holding onto the bottle of vanilla extract because he would have dropped it in shock, too.

Renjun sneaks his phone into Jaemin’s hand after checking all directions. He trembles as he types his number, double— triple checking if all the numbers he input was correct.

"Thanks,” Renjun smiles after typing in a contact name for Jaemin. “I'll text you directions then."

"No, thank you," Jaemin flashes a nervous grin, "I'll see you later." Renjun gives him a small wave goodbye this time. Prettiest. So pretty. And I’ll be seeing him again later? Outside of the grocery store?

Jaemin's heart flutters at the thought, feeling an eagerness equal to Yellow-video-release levels. 

12.

"I'm so sorry, I forgot they didn't let outsiders come in after 8pm." Renjun says apologetically when they meet in front of his dorm's entrance. Jaemin sees Renjun's breath forming into a small cloud and his nose quickly turning into a light pink shade.

Jaemin's not exactly sure, but he might be in love with Renjun. Or was it normal to think that someone you just met— specifically the bagger from your local grocery store you frequently visit under the guise of keeping your dorm's inventory under control— is so extremely adorable that your heart races every time they look at you? To ponder over how someone could look so lovely with bare minimum street lamp lighting?

“By the way, here it is!” Renjun brings up a Lock n’ Lock container which Jaemin estimates to be about the size of Renjun’s face. Another thing Jaemin will be thinking about during unwarranted times of the day. 

“About the outsiders not allowed thing, don’t worry about it. I’m thankful enough to be having tiramisu made by a soon-to-be-chef,” Jaemin receives the container with both hands. It was also the first time he ever got homemade food from someone else— not to mention it was from Renjun. His heart has never felt so full.

Renjun laughs until his eyes crease into a thin and slightly curved line, “I hope you enjoy it.”

"I think I will,” Jaemin means it. “You know, I think it's really amazing that you're a culinary student." He blurts out unexpectedly, a topic he’s never really talked about even with Jeno.

Renjun seems to be a bit taken aback, too. “Thank you. Even if you haven’t tasted my cooking yet.” He jokes.

“By the way, I was curious. What’s your major?” Renjun asks. Yup, there it is.

Jaemin is hesitant, but still he responds. “It’s just, something related to medicine.”

"Oh, wow.” He sees genuine astonishment in Renjun’s eyes, “I think that's even more amazing...” Everyone seems to think so as well, Jaemin grimaces.

“I’m not sure about it… Do you ever think twice about the path you’re going?”

“Of course I have, maybe even more than twice,” Renjun chuckles, “but I think we still have plenty of time to learn what we truly want to be.” He continues. Jaemin keeps staring into Renjun’s eyes, convinced they were the most expressive thing on earth.

“Sometimes, we might even think we’ve made several mistakes in our decisions… but since we’re already here, I think it’s enough to work hard in what we’re doing right now.” Jaemin feels familiarity in his words. It was like what Yellow said after multiple attempts at fixing their dry puff pastry dough— we just have to keep going.

Jaemin suddenly feels warmth on both of his cheeks. “It looked like your face was getting red from the cold,” he sees flashes of yellow cloth near his eyes— it was Renjun’s gloved hands holding hot packs to his face. Jaemin is again reminded of Yellow from Renjun. 

“To me, the fact that you’re still doing your best even if you’re not sure is already amazing.” Renjun looks up at him, smiling. Jaemin wasn’t knowledgeable with celestial bodies, but he just knew that Renjun’s pupils twinkled because there were actual stars in them.

“Thank you. Really.” is all Jaemin could reply. All good things really must come in the form of yellow.

“I’m sorry for rambling on,” Renjun anxiously bites his lips, letting his hands drop to his sides. Jaemin shakes his head to disagree, “but I still think you’re even more amazing.”

Jaemin laughs softly, "We both are. If you think about it, there are things I can't do but you can. I think it's amazing that you can make macarons— do you make macarons?" He unconsciously reaches out for Renjun’s hand with his free one.

Renjun lets him hold it. ”Yeah, I can make macarons.”

Jaemin feels warmth spreading from Renjun’s hand. “I remember trying to make macarons because of Yellow 323 Treats— the YouTube channel I told you about before?” Renjun nods slowly.

“It was a disaster. Jeno hated me for a week or two.” Jaemin feels much more comfortable with this giddiness in his heart and was in a lesser daze than before.

"They are kind of hard to make. Do you want me to teach you?" Renjun perks up cutely, "Whenever you can come in the dorms."

"Then that's one less thing that I can't do but you can."

"I'll still be amazing,” Renjun fiddles with Jaemin’s fingers, “Your words. And I also think I'm the best at making macarons."

“I will gladly be taking the opportunity to be in a Renjun master class, then.”

“Aren’t you so lucky to be in a private one-on-one with me?” Renjun flashes a wide smile that makes Jaemin feel even more things. Could smiles radiate heat? Or give immense comfort? Or make your heart palpitate very irregularly? He always thought people were just exaggerating when they said their hearts could just beat out of their chest.

However, Jaemin doesn’t feel the slightest bit discomfort in it. He even hopes the feeling stays, lasts longer than this moment—

“I think it’s your phone?” Renjun abruptly lets go of his hand. Jaemin didn’t even hear it ringing. Blasted Jeno Lee. He declines the call.

With regret in his voice, he says, “I have to go, Jeno’s been texting me to have dinner.”

“Oh no, you haven’t eaten yet?” Renjun asks worriedly, “I’m sorry for taking up your time.”

“No, I really liked talking with you,” Jaemin’s own words surprised him, but his expression is soft. “Thank you for today. And for the tiramisu.”

“Anytime.”

“I’ll see you next time,” Jaemin wishes the next time could just be right now.

“Looking forward to our macaron lesson,” Renjun waves goodbye and smiles again, sending another shockwave to Jaemin’s brain. Jaemin thinks Renjun’s smile should be something that he could collect and keep in a treasure chest. It’s his favorite thing now, on par with Yellow 323 Treat’s videos.

He feels a Bzzz in his pocket. 

Jaemin knows it’s the peak of winter and he hates shivering and feeling cold, but any time spent with Renjun felt so inexplicably warm, as if the bright and yellow sun was shining down on him. 

13.

“Hyuckie, is it up now?” Renjun quietly asks, careful not to disturb his busy friend who was typing away on his laptop.

“Yes, Junnie. Just a few seconds ago,” Hyuck responds after checking his phone. Renjun silently claps, thrilled at the news. It was the first time Renjun was ever more excited than nervous about posting a new video on their channel. Back then, it was just worry worry worry. When he met Jaemin, it became easier because of all his support, especially when he texted about the uploads.

“I’m glad you’re being more enthusiastic about it these days.” Haechan gives him a little smile.

For the past few weeks, Renjun continued to learn a lot of things about Jaemin through his short visits to the grocery and texting (now that he knew his number). He now knows Jaemin’s nickname, Jaemin’s favorite color, Jaemin’s birthday, a bit of Jaemin’s likes and dislikes, that Jaemin actually liked sweets and sugar more than salty— and he also knew that Jaemin liked Yellow 323 Treats probably more than he did himself.

Because of that, Renjun had more motivation. New video ideas came to him easily. The tiramisu video was because Jaemin liked coffee. Last week’s croffle video was inspired by Jaemin messaging him that he was craving for some. This week’s upload was a bit more special. A part of him had wanted Jaemin to realize that the video was for him. So he waits.

Finally, Renjun beams widely as he reads through the comment section. He resists the urge to reply that it really was for him. But why not? Renjun types, and backspaces. Type, delete. How am I struggling to come up with a reply—

Ting! The familiar iPhone message ringtone fills the room. It seemed to be Jeno’s. Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting! Ti—

”Baby, your phone.” Haechan says in a firm tone, turned towards Jeno whose phone was continuously ringing from notifications.

“Sorry, it’s Jaemin. I’m afraid he’s not going to stop for another 30 minutes,” Jeno grabs his phone to turn it on silent mode. Renjun tries to smile secretly behind the pillow from the sofa.

“What’s up?” Renjun asks, feigning innocence. Haechan gives him a questioning look. He ignores it.

Jeno checks his phone briefly, “Apparently, his favorite YouTuber uploaded a new video.”

“And?”

“He’s just sending me crying emojis.” Jeno reads from the messages, “Can you believe that, Jeno? Crying emoji. Peaches are my favorite, in all caps and multiple exclamation points. They’ve been making my favorite things recently. There are too many typos.” He comments.

“It’s like they know everything about me, how do they know that? Crying emoji, heartbroken emoji.” Jeno continued. “There are a lot more messages, really. And I think they’ll keep coming.” 

“Wow.” Haechan stops typing and looks up from his laptop. 

“It’s a normal occurrence.” Jeno clicks his phone’s power button. Seeing Haechan being suspicious earlier, Renjun tries so hard to resist smiling that it hurts. He wonders why Jaemin is so endearing.

“What is it now?” Jeno asks, bringing his phone to his ear. He mouths a quick apology to Haechan and says that it was Jaemin calling. Haechan signals at him to put it on speaker phone, now completely distracted from his work. It was odd but Renjun was curious, anyway.

“I’ve decided to make peach cookies later.” Renjun hears Jaemin’s voice. It was muffled, yet it was the same. It still makes him hold his breath just the same.

“Could you get some groceries for me?” A short pause. “Actually, never mind. I’ll get them instead. Bye!” The line cuts.

“He’s fun,” Haechan laughs.

He’s going to buy some groceries later, Renjun repeats in his head. He feels heat rushing to his cheeks, and a vibration coming from his phone.

Renjun reads the notifications on his phone with a smile, failing to notice Hyuck’s squinted eyes at him. 

nana 

do you have a shift later?
was just curious bc i’ll be dropping by for a bit :D
see you if u are!

renjun

i do :D
i’ll see you!! <3

“Do you think you know what I’ll be making?” Jaemin sets the grocery basket onto the counter.

Renjun peeps into Jaemin’s basket even though he knew. “Something peachy?” He deliberately guesses wrong, “Is it a puff pastry?”

“It’s a peach cookie,” Jaemin grins, “I feel like I’ve bested you for once.”

“I hate losing,” Renjun says, pretending to sulk. Well, Renjun thinks he could lose a few more times.

“But what are you having for dinner?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

“Why don’t you and Jeno join us? I can cooking cheonggukjang for all of us.” Renjun gives it his best shot. He’s heard Jeno say it was his favorite, so he stealthily practices cooking it when Haechan’s out of the dorm. He’s one push away from asking Jeno for the contact details of Jaemin’s mom.

“Uh, I— I think we still have leftovers.” Jaemin says hastily, and bites his bottom lip. Renjun has noticed this habit of his whenever he said a white lie or was seemingly hesitant. It makes him look more like Snowball, he thinks.

Renjun laughs , “Alright.” He’s learned to be patient (even if he usually isn’t) and just wait until Jaemin says yes.

14.

Jaemin mopes all the way back to their dorm. He wanted to say yes to Renjun. He’s been wanting to say yes ever since— ever since the time he hadn’t realized they were dinner invitations in the first place. He admits he was oblivious to it at first, but Renjun had been more and more straightforward each time he asked.

A part of him was scared that he’d make Renjun uncomfortable with his not-very platonic feelings. They were much closer now after exchanging numbers, but he wasn’t sure if he had been disguising his feelings well through text or if they were close enough to spend time outside of it. He also didn’t know if he could actually eat a whole meal made by Renjun without fainting (or going straight to the pearly gates). The tiramisu had been so good that he only gave Jeno a single slice.

Another part of him felt bad for lying to Renjun. They didn’t really have any leftovers and Jaemin would probably just boil some instant ramyeon for him and Jeno to eat. Oh, the consequences of being a loser. He could have been eating heavenly cheonggukjang, but he couldn’t even say yes. Jaemin grumbles at the thought.

Despite his obvious lie, Renjun smiled at him so sweetly, like he understood what Jaemin was thinking. Jaemin clutches at his chest, thinking of how Renjun looked at him earlier. There’s a fizz— heartburn. Renjun is an angel, he regrets ever turning him down. Next time for sure, Jaemin nods with conviction. 

15.

Jaemin was a bit more early at the grocery today since Renjun had told him that his shift starts at around lunchtime. So here he was, on the bread aisle, figuring out which brand was more cost-efficient. It was also conveniently next to Renjun’s counter (he thinks he looks sexy when he’s computing in his head).

“Congratulations on your 10th late, Renjun. How was Time Management 101 with Kun today?” Jaemin overhears presumably the cashier talking to Renjun. The latter groans in response, making the cashier laugh.

“My alarm didn’t wake me up,” Renjun replies, his tone bitter. “And I left my gloves. I hate it, my hands are freezing.”

Jaemin decides the loaf with 24 slices of bread was more worth it.

“Hi,” Renjun brightens up as Jaemin places his basket onto the check-out counter. He greets back and slowly unloaded his groceries item by item.

Jaemin remembers overhearing Renjun hadn’t worn his gloves today. He was curious, a natural instinct of man, so he took a peek. It was the first time Jaemin had ever seen his hands without gloves, and his eyes immediately gravitated to the mark on Renjun’s right hand.

“Are you making Monte Cristo sandwiches? Is that for dinner? Are sandwiches enough for the two of you—”

Renjun’s words don’t get through to Jaemin’s brain at all. Was it possible for two people to have the same birthmark on the exact same spot? His eyes shifted to Renjun’s left arm, and because he had slightly rolled up his sleeves, it was visible. There are three moles that seem like a triangle constellation.

Huh… Does that mean…

Of course, Renjun hadn’t been trying to hide it. He thinks back to when Renjun almost said 'thank you' for him liking Yellow's channel at their first encounter, all the eagerness when Renjun asks if he liked Yellow’s new videos when they get released, how all his words felt so strangely familiar, and how it felt like he intentionally didn't guess peach cookies correctly. Jaemin’s brain floods with static noises, ringing so loudly it makes him numb, as he thinks about it over and over again, until it makes sense—

Crash!

The stupid strawberry jam jar that he didn’t really want to buy (but Jeno said it went well with the savory sandwich) makes a mess on the floor. Oh good Lord.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Instead of a look of displeasure that he was expecting, Renjun stares at him with so much worry that Jaemin is trying so much to suppress his urge to cry out loud. He apologizes to Renjun in his head, still unable to speak real words from the shock. To say he was overdramatic might be an understatement.

"Don't worry, we'll get this cleaned up, okay?" Renjun hurriedly organizes the rest of Jaemin's items. He tells the cashier (Jaemin learns his name was Yangyang) to fetch a few things from the maintenance closet and heads to Jaemin’s side.

“Are you okay?” Jaemin feels Renjun grabbing his hands in comfort. “I’ll handle the charges of the jam.”

It starts with bubbles, then he feels the fizz in his heart again. His brain could only make out two clear words— Renjun… Yellow… Renjun and Yellow…

“You’re Yellow 323 Treats…” Jaemin unknowingly says out loud as his brain finally connects the pieces.

“Here,” Yangyang arrives with a dustpan and broom, along with a bucket of cleaning materials that Jaemin couldn’t name when all the space in his head was preoccupied.

And he’s so ashamed. Dropping a glass jar just because he found out the identity of the ASMRtist he had admired greatly was Renjun, the guy he had a little (not little at all) crush on? Sighing, Jaemin grabs the broom and dustpan from Yangyang.

“I thought you knew.” Renjun breaks the silence between them, while he was squatting and wiping off the red goo on the floor. “We use Jeno’s phone for the videos.”

No, he did not know. And he absolutely did not know that Jeno had the raw files, too. That must be why he’s always at Haechan’s dorm (among other reasons).

“He just told me once that he was filming something for Haechan.” Jaemin recalls that one time at the start of the semester.

“Seems just about right. I don’t think he even knows the name of the channel,” Renjun chuckles as he sprays some cleaning agent on the flat surface.

Jaemin bites his bottom lip, momentarily stopping from sweeping. “Isn’t it weird? You’ve probably heard how much I gush about you from Jeno. And I gush about you to you as well…” His voice trails off, and his gaze directed at Renjun.

Renjun glances up at him, quickly finishes up wiping, and stands to look at Jaemin eye to eye. “I don’t think it’s weird? It’s encouraging and endearing. And I read your comments all the time.”

“You knew it was me?”

“They just felt like yours. Jeno calls you Nana sometimes, too.” Jaemin grumbles at the mention of his childhood nickname. He liked it, but it blew his cover. There are now two counts of betrayal from Jeno so far.

“It’s a cute nickname,” Renjun comments, smiling a very adorable smile in Jaemin’s eyes. Jaemin wants to munch his cheeks. “Like you. And all your comments, too. They’re my favorite to read.” Four critical hits. Renjun was being so honest, Jaemin had no idea what to do. At this point, he just felt so weak at the knees.

“I like you,” Jaemin blurts out. Renjun flushes red, and Jaemin realizes he said it aloud. It was only supposed to be a thought.

“I like you, too.” Renjun’s expression softens, “I know I openly invite you for dinner but I’ve also been waiting for you to ask me out, you know.”

“You’re fine with it?”

“With?”

“With me, a big awkward embarrassing idiot who dropped a glass jar in the grocery store you work at, and is also apparently a big fan of your channel, asking you out?”

Renjun laughs, “If you feel so strongly about it, it’s fine if you don’t ask.” He says, but with no bite, or a hint of teasing— it was said with a tone that even comforted Jaemin. “I’ll do the asking instead.”

Jaemin gulps.

“Would you eat dinner with me?” Jaemin feels like he’s being proposed to. In the middle of a grocery store, half past noon, probably with Yangyang still staring at them, but Jaemin chooses to overlook all these things.

He’s always been wanting to say yes, so he finally does. “Yes,” He says, feeling a burn on his cheeks from smiling so much— he didn’t even know he had been smiling all this time. “I love you— the idea of having dinner with you. I’m sorry. I like you a lot.”

Renjun smiles at him, like he always does. It’s the first time Jaemin’s ever made sense of it, the way Renjun looks at him. It was a soft and lingering gaze, like he never wanted to look away from him, telling him ‘I also like you a lot’— and it was exactly how he looked at Renjun, too.

“Hi,” Yangyang suddenly speaks, “I’m really sorry to interrupt, I got you another strawberry jam, rang it up and put it in your bag. And your total is 15,000 Won.”

“Right, I’m really sorry about the jar again.” Jaemin snaps out of his reverie.

“It’s fine, you cleaned up and Renjun’s paying for it, anyway.” Yangyang accepts his cash and prints a receipt.

“Thanks,” He grabs his tote bag and turns to Renjun. “I’ll pick you up after your shift?”

“4 pm.” Renjun says, and Jaemin nods in reply.

Once he exits the grocery store, everything sinks in. Even with the sheer embarrassment of breaking an unpaid jar of strawberry jam, the absolute delight in finally having a date with Renjun overcame him. The smile on his face does not easily fade.

“So, Huang is my last name. It can mean yellow. That’s where the ‘yellow’ in the username comes from,” Jaemin just listens to Renjun talk on their walk to his dorm, his attention fully focused on him alone. As Renjun interlaces his fingers with Jaemin, everything just clicks.

Even without a notification of a new video from Yellow or the presence of Renjun’s yellow mittens, it’s bright and clear like the yellow shade he had come to love. He had thought all good things came to him in the form of yellow, when it was always Renjun in the first place.

Renjun’s way to Jaemin’s heart was quick and abrupt, just a crack, a sizzle, then a pop—! At first uneasy and unstable, but as the hectic sounds grew familiar, it became calming. Jaemin feels at peace as he stares at their locked hands and Renjun’s eyes that became crescent-shaped from smiling, all under a snowy but bright sky.