Chapter Text
When he first moved to town, Jackson thought that maybe his tios were right. It would be a fresh start. But the more Jackson spent time here, the more resentment he grew to hate it. He hasn’t even started school yet.
But he couldn’t stand it. Almost every single night, Jackson has some kind of dream about his mother. No matter how many times it happened, he couldn’t get used to it. Every time was different. Some nights, he got to talk to her. Others, he saw her once and woke up immediately after. There were even times where he didn’t see her at all, but still felt her presence. He didn’t know if that was better or worse.
And, like almost everyone else, she left him too. No explanation on where she was going, just empty promises to fill Jackson with false hope. Hope that she would eventually come back and take him back home. Because no matter where he went, he didn’t feel at home. He felt lost. Scared and wanting that safety and comfort that his mother had.
His tios acted like they understood. Jackson hated that too. The last thing he wanted was pity from others who didn’t know what it felt like. He wanted to be left alone. He wanted his mother back. Was that too much to ask?
Every time his tia came to check up on him after these dreams, Jackson had to hide any emotion that came to mind. He didn’t hate her, just what she makes him feel like in those moments. Weak. Afraid. Feeble and flawed. Like a little kid all over again, who couldn’t get through the day without crying about how he missed his old life. He hated it so much.
But it only got worse as time went on.
X
The morning before his first day of school, Jackson, as always, had another nightmare. It was nice in the beginning. He was drawing, coloring the night sky with fireworks giving off their colorful glow, a person standing in the woods.
He even got a hug. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was still comforting. When they pulled back, he was left all alone again, his mother nowhere in sight, as if she vanished into thin air.
He wasn’t looking forward to this new school at all. He pretended to be excited in front of his tios, but there was nothing but pure resentment towards this new environment. He missed Portland. Not this town in the middle of nowhere.
But it wasn’t didn’t stop there.
He wasn’t even through a full school day when he kept seeing weird things. It made him feel crazy, like he was the only one who knew what was really going on. But it got even weirder the next day. People approached him during class even though he’s never met them before, kept staring at him in the halls and Jackson didn’t know why. He wasn’t sure if it was good or bad, but it made his anxiety go through the roof. Did this happen with every new kid they got?
Not only that, but the more time he spent with David and Exer, the more those strange occurrences would happen. Like they followed Jackson wherever he went. He couldn’t escape it.
David was welcoming enough, definitely had the personality of a wrecking ball which Jackson envied. It was nice being around someone with that kind of spunk. He met Brenda, who was very sweet. He got the feeling that she might have had a thing for him, but Jackson brushed it off. Maybe that was just her way of getting to know people, but he wasn’t really looking for anything at the moment. This school was too much already for him to worry about any romances. Exer was distant, though. Most of the time, he pretended like Jackson didn’t even exist. He would ask questions like he was interested, but every time Jackson tried to get to know him better, Exer would push him away.
It made Jackson despise this place even more.
X
It was all falling apart within a week. Somehow, he had been roped into chaos after accidentally going into the girl’s locker room, but Jackson could’ve sworn it was the boy’s. Just another strange incident at this school. But it’s just nerves. That’s it.
But on top of that, the people he thought of as friends were actually the first people to turn against him. And they got the person he was now living with, Ronald, to hate him as well. Not only did Jackson have to watch out for them at school, he now had to avoid people in his own home, too.
The universe was against him. He was sure of it. And with all of this unnecessary drama, that spark of hatred only grew larger and larger with each passing day. But it will get better.
Right?
X
It got worse.
So much worse.
Jackson didn’t think it was possible. But, as it turns out, it was very much possible.
He was so tired. Tired and full of anger. Angry at the school for believing everything they hear and making Pamela suffer so much for so long. Angry at Exer for causing all of that suffering, not just hers, but Jackson’s as well. With magic, of all things. Angry at their whole friend group for being so fake.
That small spark of hatred that sprouted when he first moved here had grown. And it never stopped. There was no way it could stop. All those months thinking he was going crazy or that it was just his imagination. All caused by jealousy.So all of those emotions were building up for months. Going unchecked for so long to the point where Jackson couldn’t hold it back anymore. Not after everything that has happened.
So he snapped.
X
He did regret it. He did, really.
After everything was done, after he got it all out of his system, he regretted it so much. Jackson didn’t want to hurt them.
Well, aside from Exer. He could burn in hell for all he cared.
But even him, Jackson now realized as he sat in the principal's office that he overreacted. He still thought that Exer deserved to suffer as much as he made everyone suffer, but the way Jackson handled it hurt everyone. Including those who weren’t a part of this mess. Innocent bystanders who had no idea what was happening. He even hurt the person he didn’t want involved.
In that office, hearing his tios beg him for an explanation, the disappointment in their voices, the punishment he would have, he realized who all that hatred was directed towards. He knew exactly who was to blame.
In that moment, the only person Jackson hated with all his heart was
himself.