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Winter in Inazuma is nothing short of breathtaking.
The landscape is picturesque, its skies decorated with clouds that look utterly surreal. It’s as if they were painted, thrown onto a canvas with expert precision and delicate craftsmanship. The bright glitter of snow dances in the wind, complimenting the vibrant colors of the leaves yet to fall from the trees. Inazuman scenery is pure artistry, the kind of views you’d find displayed elegantly in a noble’s home.
The cities are even more extraordinary, lit proudly with Christmas lights and festive decor on each street. Live music flows through the air, mixed with vendors advertising their holiday sales. It’s a time for cheer, love, and happiness for every Inazuman.
..Well, almost every Inazuman.
Kunikuzushi sits quietly on a bench just outside the city. Next to him is Kazuha, idly playing with a leaf in his hand. They’ve only just finished browsing the multitude of shops, and decided to sit together as the rest of the shoppers scurry about. It can get quite overwhelming when this time of year rolls around, especially in the heart of the city. It’s not that Inazumans are inconsiderate, but the sheer volume of people is more than enough to make both Kazuha and Kunikuzushi long for a breath of fresh air.
Late afternoon sun kisses the rooftops and shines onto the bustling crowd below, though it provides little warmth when fighting the bitter air. A chilled breeze brushes through them, sending a shiver down Kazuha’s spine. Kunikuzushi eyes him suspiciously, before scooting ever so slightly closer to him. A silent invitation. Kazuha looks up at him with a raised brow and a smirk blossoming on his face.
“Shut up, I just don’t want you to get sick. You’re a handful to deal with already.” Kunikuzushi scoffs.
“Mhm,” Kazuha hums, wrapping his hands around Kunikuzushi’s arm and deflating against his warmth. “Shall we make another visit to the house soon, then? The weather will only worsen as the night deepens.”
Although the two are wanderers, wayfarers without a destination nor a permanent home, they invested in a small house some time ago. A small thing, resting on a hill between Konda Village and Chinju Forest, and a great view of the beach. It’s not a home as much as it is a backup plan, a place to rest their heads when their situation takes a turn for the worse. They don’t need a physical home, not when they have one in each other. But having one made their inconveniences a little easier to manage.
“That would be for the best. The last thing we need is to get caught in a blizzard and stranded.” Kunizuzushi stands, pulling out of Kazuha’s grip and offers his hand instead, “Come on. Let’s get to the house and warm up.”
“‘Soon’ was not intended to be immediate. The cold has little effect on you. Why not stay a while longer and watch as the sun goes to rest?” Kazuha reaches out and takes the offered hand, but makes no move to get up.
Kunikuzushi rolls his eyes. “Because the cold affects you, idiot . I may not suffer human delicacy, but you are still vulnerable to human ailments,” He tugs on Kazuha’s arm, pulling him forward and upright while he groans softly. “And although the cold doesn’t harm me in ways it will to you, it’s uncomfortable nonetheless. Let’s go before the sun goes down.”
“I suppose you’re right. Sunsets are one of life’s constants, and there will be countless more to witness.” Kazuha sighs as he links arms with the wanderer, and begins walking in the direction of their house.
“Sure,” Kunikuzushi laughs, a rare and pretty thing, reserved solely for Kazuha, “You always find a moment for your musings, don’t you?”
Kazuha smiles. “Never is there a time where poetry fails to express what needs to be expressed. For as long as I live, I will share what musings cross my mind.”
Kunikuzushi smiles in return, but it only thinly veils the pained expression that flashes briefly across his face. The fabric around Kazuha’s arm stretches as the grip on him tightens. Kazuha couldn’t miss it if he tried.
“You better live a long damn time, then.”
—————
“Should we get Christmas decorations? Our walls are rather unadorned.” Kazuha sets the bags of goods they’d gotten during their escapade to the city on the table, scattering dust in the process.
His face lights up with a soft glow when Kunikuzushi strikes the fireplace. Its warmth spills into the room and graces their bodies, gentle and kind. “No need,” Kunikuzushi smiles. He takes a bag from the table and reaches inside, withdrawing multiple small boxes of what appears to be lights and other simple decorations. “Normally I wouldn’t see a point in decorating, since we’re hardly even here. But..” He opens one of the boxes and hands it to Kazuha, who can do nothing but stare at the other. “With this storm, we might be staying for a while. And, knowing you, you’d want to engage in at least one of those holiday traditions.”
Kazuha looks down at the box of lights in his hand, then back up to Kunikuzushi. His eyes fill with a certain fondness, a soft affection. He mindlessly places the box on the table and wraps his arms around Kunikuzushi, burying his face in his neck.
“Thank you,” Kazuha breathes, before pulling away with a grin on his face. “When did you even-?”
“When you were talking with Heizou. I asked him to distract you for a few minutes while I grabbed them. It’s not easy to pull one over on you, Kaedehara. I had to make a plan just to buy shit without your knowledge.”
A chuckle escapes Kazuha’s lips, and Kunikuzushi could swear he felt a heart throb in his chest. Kazuha’s crimson eyes light up like a fire, bright and beautiful. If this is the reward for jumping through hoops to hide something from the younger, Kunikizushi would do it a thousand times over.
“You know, winter storms used to dishearten me, when I was a lone wanderer.” Kazuha says as he starts hanging his lights, “I didn’t have anywhere to go, and had to rely on the kindness of strangers. Sometimes, if I was particularly unlucky, I wouldn’t even have that, and I had to find shelter within nature.” Kunikuzushi stops unpacking the decorations to look at Kazuha, patiently waiting for him to finish. “Now, I look forward to storms like these. I get to spend them warm, safe, and in the arms of the man I love as we watch the snowflakes fall to the ground and transform the earth beneath us.”
Kunikuzushi falls silent. It’s a rare moment he has nothing to say, but his face burns so harshly and the words settle so deeply that it renders his mind unable to produce a comprehensive response.
He finally settles on, “Only someone as masochistic as you would enjoy being locked up in a house with me. Any sane person would rather take their chances in the cold.”
“I guess that makes me insane, then.” Kazuha says, and his smile can be heard even as he’s faced away from Kunikuzushi, reaching upwards to place decorations above him.
“I guess it does,” Kunikuzushi repeats, mindlessly. “And..I love you too.”
Kazuha grins. “I know.”
—————
The sun has long since retired behind the horizon by the time the house is decorated. Lights twinkle from where the wall meets the ceiling, the festive scent of candles waft through the air, and a small snowman plush stares from the mantle, surrounded by pine branches and poinsettias. Simple and minimalist, but enough.
Kazuha sits curled into Kunikuzushi on their couch, his hand entangled with the older’s. He’s being inordinately affectionate tonight, and Kazuha is usually quite physical. He practically clings to Kunikuzushi, even following him into the other room while he gets a drink of water. It’s certainly enough to notice, but Kunikuzushi opts to stay quiet on the matter. For now.
Somewhere along the line, the two decide to rest for the night. Time has crept forward, as it does, and it’s gotten quite late. As much as Kazuha wishes to stay awake with his love even for a moment longer, he eventually relents.
It’s easy enough to fall into their nighttime rhythm, and Kazuha is asleep within the hour. Kunikuzushi, on the other hand, is slower to succumb to unconsciousness. His gaze lands on Kazuha’s chest, watching as it rises and falls slowly. His hand finds itself resting gently on top of his warm body, letting himself feel .
Ever so slowly, Kunikuzushi inches closer to Kazuha, until his head is rested on the other’s shoulder. His hand stays atop Kazuha’s chest, addicted to the wave of comfort he receives from listening to his soft breaths. Inevitably, as time slips by, his eyes draw heavy.
Kunikuzushi falls asleep with Kazuha’s image in his mind.
But he’s only been blessed with sleep for half an hour before he’s abruptly reawakened.
It’s dark—incredibly so. The glow of their fire has died out, allowing the bitter air to seep through their walls. Beside him, Kazuha is still asleep. But he’s shaking, shivering against the elements that have found their way into the house. Kunikuzushi pulls more blankets up and tucks them around his figure, before silently throwing off the covers, lighting a nearby candle for sight, and making his way to the fireplace.
What he finds, or rather what he doesn’t find, is somewhat troubling.
There’s no firewood.
Firewood is…kind of important, when restarting a fire. Kunikuzushi glances outside a nearby window, analyzing the state of the weather beyond. It would be risky, and wholly irresponsible, to leave the house during these conditions. With that said, the storm has considerably lessened. The only other hindrance is how utterly dark it is, the thick clouds blocking any of what little illumination the moon may reflect. He doesn’t really have any other choice, though, if he wants to ensure Kazuha is kept warm and safe.
Given, it’s highly likely Kazuha will be fine throughout the night without a fire going. They have mounds of blankets and other various articles of clothing he can use, and he’s survived plenty a night with no protection from the frigid temperature other than a moist cave and his everyday outfit. But Kunikuzushi will take no chances.
He refuses to let inattentiveness or his own weakness be the reason he loses someone again, especially when that someone is his entire reason for living. That someone who saw past Kunikuzushi’s carefully crafted facade, helped him overcome his past grievances and develop into the person he is today. He is not willing to let Kazuha go.
He’s learned from his mistakes, and he won’t fall to them again.
A soft creek sounds from behind him, and Kunikuzushi whips his head around to find the source. His eyes quickly land on Kazuha, draped in a blanket pulled tightly around his shoulders. “Kuni?”
Kunikuzushi walks to meet Kazuha, placing his hands on his shoulders. He’s still shaking, and the soft light of the candle reveals his face laden with a mixture of both concern and relief. “Kazuha. Why are you up?” Kunikuzushi brings his hand to Kazuha’s cheek, who eagerly leans into the touch.
“I woke up and you weren’t there,” he sounds panicked, close to tears, even. “I thought that I-- thought you were gone. I thought you had left.”
The last time he went to sleep with someone and woke up on his own, he lost him.
Kunikuzushi sighs, bringing Kazuha into a tight embrace. He whispers in his ear, “I’m still here. Don’t get upset. Look, I’m right here.”
Kazuha hesitantly pulls away, meeting indigo blue eyes. He doesn’t dare gaze elsewhere, as if Kunikuzushi would slip through his fingertips the second he does. But he doesn’t. He stays, holding Kazuha closely, waiting patiently for him to speak. And Kazuha can’t help but think about nothing except how beautiful Kunikuzushi looks in this moment.
His dark hair contrasting against pale skin, glowing warmly in the soft candlelight. Eyes so deeply blue that Kazuha is sure he’d lose himself if in their depths if he isn’t careful. But he doesn’t want to be. He wants to dive into his lover, to be enveloped by his divine presence and not look back. He wants to give Kunikuzushi every part of him.
Kazuha inhales deeply to compose himself. A second, maybe two later, he speaks, “I’m sorry. For acting irrationally,” Kunikuzushi remains silent, like he knows Kazuha has more to say, “I suppose there are still fears I harbor from the past.”
“You don’t need to apologize, it’s fine. The reactions we have that stem from prior experience are hard to resist. But I’m still here, and I’m not leaving you,” Kunikuzushi dismisses, then turns away from Kazuha, “Well, long term anyways. I have to go out for more firewood so you don’t freeze to fuckin’ death, but I won’t be gone longer than fifteen, maybe twenty minutes.”
Kazuha’s face falls. “You’re going out? In that?” He gestures to the window in bewilderment, and the betrayal in his voice makes Kunikuzushi wince, “Kuni, you cannot be serious. That’s a death wish.”
Kunikuzushi rolls his eyes, “Kazuha. I’m immortal, in case you’ve forgotten. I’ll be fine. Do you think I can’t handle myself?”
“Kuni, I know more than anyone that you’re capable of holding your own, but anyone going out in this is dangerous, no matter their title or rank. Being immortal doesn’t matter,” his voice wavers, just slightly enough to notice, “You can still get hurt. You won’t be able to see a thing out there, how are you going to navigate your surroundings? How will you get back?”
“I know the area well enough to manage. We don’t have any other option, Kaz.”
“Don’t we? I’m fine without a fire, we have more than enough supplies to ensure my safety. I have you. Don’t leave. Please.” Kazuha settles Kunikuzushi with a pointed look, his jaw fixed with resolve. He can’t let Kunikuzushi leave him, he can’t.
But his efforts are for naught.
“I’m sorry, Kazuha. I can’t risk it.” Is all that is said before Kunikuzushi walks out with nothing but a lantern and a light coat, refusing to meet Kazuha’s grievous eyes.
—————
Kazuha is alone, and quite frankly terrified.
His mind races with every possible scenario, however unlikely, that Kunikuzushi might find himself in. He could get lost, ambushed, hurt, worse. The thoughts alone are enough to make Kazuha’s stomach churn with an unease he hasn’t felt in almost a year.
He sincerely considers going after Kunikuzushi. To find him, convince him to return home and wait out the storm together. Quite a few times, he finds his hand placed on the door handle, ready to turn and enter the wintry hell to retrieve his love. But the more rational part of him realizes that it will be futile, foolish.
Nothing can interrupt Kazuha’s spiraling thoughts, however. His mind, merciless as it is, reminds him of events long gone. Events that had unfolded frighteningly similar to tonight. Images that contain a familiar silhouette plague him, telling him once more, “ You failed to save him, and you’ll fail to save this one.”
How long has it been? It feels like hours. Maybe longer?
Time becomes nothing but a blur and he collapses to the floor, unknowingly reaching to clutch something cold and metallic to his chest. Even he doesn’t register what his hand grasps, only that whatever it is, it’s a need at this moment.
He failed. He couldn’t stop Kunikuzushi from leaving, and the uncertainty nearly drowns him.
He doesn’t know quite when the tears start, or how long they’ve been streaming down his face. They burn down his flushed cheeks, a contrast to the bitter draft that seeps through the walls. He never realizes how cold he is, thoughts occupied by Kunikuzushi and Kunikuzushi only. Yet, he can’t find it in himself to get up, to think properly. His entire being consumed by violent tremors, his usually collected mind clouded with a fearful haze. He can’t breathe, he realizes suddenly, which only deepens his panic.
The last thing he remembers is a figure beyond the frosted windows before the world fades into darkness, and he blacks out completely.
—————
Kazuha was right, in one sense. Being out in this storm is miserable. Nevertheless, Kunikuzushi finds it easy enough to obtain what he needs. He doesn’t even need to travel far to find it, scouring the small area around their house to find scraps of wood that the storm’s wind has so graciously blown in his direction. The moon makes its return as well, clouds dispersing just enough for its light to peer from behind the darkness.
His strategy is to go one direction, then turn back and follow his own footsteps back to the house. Fortunately, now that the storm has calmed the slightest bit, the snow doesn’t completely cover his steps by the time he’s ready to head back. And he should head back soon, as Kazuha appeared rather distressed when Kunikuzushi left. He doesn’t quite understand why, though.
His plan works, and he’s greeted with a view of the house not thirty minutes later with an armful of wood.
He messily opens the door, as well as he can while holding stacks of firewood. He wears a proud smile on his face, expecting to be met with a relieved Kazuha gracing him with that warm smile he so dearly adored. He’d let himself be wrapped in Kazuha’s embrace, and mutter an “I told you I’d be fine,” in jest. But it never happens. In fact, he doesn’t know where Kazuha has gone. It’s dead quiet, and the candle he lit before leaving is blown out.
A thump is sounded as the firewood hits the floor loudly, alarm rising steadily in Kunikuzishi’s chest. He didn’t leave , did he? He wouldn’t be foolish enough, surely. He’s human , as he so often likes to forget, he won’t last five minutes out there.
His questions are answered as quickly as they’re asked, as a choked sob echoes throughout the room.
Kunikuzushi turns to find Kazuha on the floor in the corner. He can barely see him, only the glow of the moon through the windows allowing him to see an outline of his silhouette. He’s breathing fast and hard, yet shallow and uneven. Kunikuzushi stoops to the ground and gently touches his shoulder, a feeble attempt to ground him.
Kazuha flinches, hard, at the contact. He only cries heavier, shrinking in on himself like a frightened animal, “ No! Don’t let it happen again, don’t leave me alone, please. ” He weeps, his small frame wracked with deep and heavy sobs.
The shine of metal catches Kunikuzushi’s eye, gleaming in the light. His eyes flick downward and land on something in Kazuha’s unbandaged hand.
A vision, gray and empty, wrapped so tightly in Kazuha’s hold that his hand has become ghostly white. And suddenly, everything falls into place.
Kazuha’s clinginess, his unwillingness to be alone, the fear in his eyes as Kunikuzushi walked out the door. It all makes sense , and Kunikuzushi is astounded it took him this long to figure out.
This is Kazuha’s first winter without his close friend, Tomo. His first Christmas without him. Kazuha is surely reminded of him at every corner--they cherished this holiday and how they spent it together. Perhaps, Kunikuzishi’s presence is the only thing that provided any sort of comfort. The only thing that grounded him.
Guilt slams into Kunikuzishi, cursing himself for not realizing and unknowingly making this experience worse for Kazuha. He unclamps his own vision from his garments, its glow pulsating softly. Very slowly, Kunikuzushi takes Kazuha’s shaking hand and unwraps Tomo’s vision from his fingers. At first, his eyes widen, head snaps up in dismay. Then, however, just as quickly as the first is taken, another vision is pressed to his palm. Kunikuzushi’s.
Kazuha stares at it, breathless. Beautiful, as all visions are, gifts from the archons themselves. But this one, this one is more than that. This one is familiar, like a song, a poem, a piece of art. He holds it close to him, presses it against his chest to consume its warmth. It’s alive. Which also means...Kunikuzushi…?
Crimson meets indigo, and awareness floods back into Kazuha’s eyes. His breathing eventually slows, as do the tears. “Kuni.” He whispers, almost inaudible.
“I’m back. It’s okay, I’m okay,” Kunikuzushi scoops Kazuha into his arms, kissing the top of his head, “I’m sorry, Kazuha.”
“You’re okay.” Kazuha’s voice shakes.
“I am.”
“You’re alive.”
“I’m alive.”
Kazuha clings onto Kunikuzushi like he’s a lifeline, relishes in his presence and thrives under his touch. For a moment, Kazuha thought he’d never get to see those deep blue eyes, never feel that electrifying touch, never be held so gently again. He knows, somewhere in the logical part of his mind, that Kunikuzushi would have always come back to him, that it’s unreasonable to have assumed the worst. But the part of him that’s been ripped apart by grief and devoured by loss, can’t help but bubble to the surface.
Kunikuzushi frowns at how cold Kazuha feels, his skin chilled and pale; even his breath visible in the frigid air. He shifts to move, but still holds Kazuha close. “Let’s get a fire started, hm? Or did I go out in that disaster for no reason?” He tries to joke, an obvious attempt to lighten the mood. Kazuha smiles softly, and assists in moving himself closer to the fireplace, just a few feet away.
“I hate to admit that you were right, about the inclement weather out there.” Kunikuzushi sighs as he carefully lights the fire, heat exploding across the room, “But I can’t say that I regret it. I’d do it again.”
A “for you” was left unsaid, but it echos across the room still, bouncing loudly around their ears in its silence.
A vortex of vast emotions swirl around Kazuha’s heart. An affection that blossoms at the core of his being, an understanding that Kunikuzushi would tear this world apart to keep Kazuha safe. An inkling of anxiety, wedging itself in the corner of his chest at the exact same realization. Kunikuzushi will always put himself and his own safety before Kazuha, no matter how many times he wished he wouldn’t. The realization crashes into him like waves upon a rocky shore, leaving him breathless.
“Thank you,” Kazuha whispered, and there was more he wished to say; more he wished to express. Yet, he knew Kunikuzishi understood that there was a hidden depth among those two simple words. As much as Kazuha enjoys spoiling Kunikuzushi with his flowery words of affirmation and affection, it isn’t strictly necessary to speak them in order to be heard. They’ve reached a point in which they transcend words.
The two curl together on their bed near the fire, limbs entangled and breathing synced. Kazuha let himself lean heavily into his lover's touch, grateful to the archons to have him laying so intimately next to him.
Kazuha yawns, feeling his eyelids become heavy with the weight of sleeplessness. The events that transpired through the night had filled him with adrenaline, but his exhaustion took its place once it was over.
“You can sleep. It’s okay, I won’t leave.” Kazuha only distantly hears Kunikuzishi speak. Nonetheless, he allows himself to drift into a comfortable sleep.
Kunikuzushi is home, safe, and holding him. He has nothing more to ask for.
—————
Kunikuzushi has decided that the universe hates him.
Fate, the archons will, destiny, whatever silly name people like to attach to it. He’s somehow gotten on its bad side.
The more he thinks about it, the more he wonders if he deserves to undergo fate's wrath.
This time around, it’s presented his punishment to him via a nightmare. It’s not unusual. In fact, nightmares are typically the universe’s favorite way of torturing Kunikuzushi.
The images that flash behind closed eyes are similar to ones he’s seen in the past--shown to him so many times he could paint them from memory. But there is something off about this one in particular. It feels personal. It feels real . Like he’s watching a distant memory, a familiar scene.
Of course the dream has its regulars. Kazuha is there, and he’s not supposed to be. He’s in danger. He’s hurt. And he’s just barely out of reach. Kunikuzushi screams, cries, calls out to his lover, but he’ll never make it to him in time. That’s the nature of dreams, of nightmares--they give the illusion that he’ll make it. But he never does. And he never will.
Dozens of images plague Kunikuzushi’s mind of Kazuha lying limp in front of him. Bloodied, lifeless, gone. Sometimes he cradles his cold body in his arms, pleading to whoever will listen to let him be okay. Other times, Kazuha is ripped brutally from him and he has nothing left to hold.
Now, Kazuha is looking up at Kunikuzushi, eyes clouded with pain, fiery red dissipated into a dull ache. He’s smiling gently up at him, muttering “ Don’t cry, my love. You’ll be okay.” But he never will be.
As far as nightmares go, this one is far more vivid than most. Kunikuzushi can feel the warmth of Kazuha’s blood soak into his clothes, taste the thick air tainted with a metallic tang. He feels when Kazuha leaves him.
And this time…
This time it’s his fault .
There’s no freak accident. They aren’t ambushed. No, Kunikuzushi let this happen. He brought Kazuha with him to confront Dottore, knowing full well how dangerously insane the man is. And now he’s suffering the consequences. How naive.
It was anything but a pleasant death. Dottore made sure of that. He was careful to ensure that Kazuha suffered, that he was “put to good use” before his human body gave out.
Kunikuzushi is mid scream when he bolts upright in bed, eyes soaked and breathing heavy. The blankets wrinkle and stretch with his tight grip. His head throbs, as would his heart, if he had one.
He nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears blankets crinkle next to him. But then he sees a head of white hair, a familiar red streak, and matching red eyes.
“Kuni,” His soft voice graces Kunikuzishi’s ears, and he feels as if he could cry again. “Are you okay?”
He does not respond quickly, mind still retreating from its muddled state. “I’m fine,” he lies easily, wiping a stray tear from his face and struggling to keep more from falling, “Sorry if I woke you. Go back to sleep.”
“The sun is already up, my love, and I with it,” Kazuha sits up and settles Kunikuzishi with a serious look, “And you forget that I can tell when you aren’t being truthful with me.”
Kunikuzishi hums and breaks their eye contact, looking down at his hands instead. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He’s violently aware that Kazuha already knows what’s wrong, what caused him to awaken with an excruciating pain in his chest. But Kazuha still stares, his eyes sympathetic, “But..can you hold me?” His request is shy, quiet.
Wordlessly, Kazuha moves closer to the puppet. He curls his arms around his form, and presses his violet head to his chest. And Kunikuzushi hasn’t even realized that his face is once again flooded with warm tears, until now.
“Don’t cry, my love,” Kazuha kisses the crown of his head, “You’ll be okay.”
His tears only stream faster with those simple words. The same words he’s heard a million times within his nightmares. But when they leave Kazuha’s mouth, this time, he believes them.
He clutches Kazuha’s soft clothes and breathes in his scent. He despises crying, the same reason he was discarded so easily upon his creation. A show of his weakness. Yet, he lets himself cry, now. He rejects any guilt or shame he may feel, because Kazuha is worth crying for. Kazuha is worth the otherwise execrable emotions, and he’s the only one that Kunikuzishi will ever allow to view him in such a vulnerable state. Because Kaedehara Kazuha is worth it.
Kunikuzushi’s eyes lock onto Kazuha’s tranquil features. He’s looking out their window beside their bed, no doubt admiring the work of the storm long past. He’s gorgeous, in this light, and Kunikuzishi wonders if he, too, was crafted delicately by divine hands. Kazuha eventually breaks his gaze from the window and looks down at Kunikuzishi, smiling when he sees that he’s been staring. He blushes harshly and averts his eyes.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Kazuha whispers, “Merry Christmas, my Kunikuzishi.”
Ah, right. Today is Christmas Day. Kunikuzushi feels like the world's best boyfriend, giving Kazuha the gift of comforting him first thing in the morning.
“Although the reasoning behind it isn’t the most ideal, I couldn’t be happier to spend today's first moments like this. Holding my love safely in my arms and kissing his tears away.” Kazuha says, as if he could read Kunikuzushi’s inner turmoil.
Kunikuzushi huffs and turns away slightly. “You can’t honestly say this is how you envisioned our first Christmas together.”
“There have been hiccups, of course. That’s to be expected. We’re both still healing, love. It takes time.”
Kunikuzishi is quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry Tomo isn’t here.”
He feels Kazuha’s breathing hitch slightly. “While I do miss the times he and I spent together, I have you , Kuni. I don’t need anything or anyone more.” He pauses, breathes in and Kunikuzushi listens, “I’ll admit, it’s…hard without him. Last night, when you were gone, I was terrified that you left me too. You’re the only reason I’m still put together, my anchor. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you. I don’t know what I’d do.” He chuckles, a sad smile forming on his lips. “I’m sorry that last night happened. I’m sorry I’m not stronger.”
Kunikuzushi scoffs, eyes brimming with disbelief as if he was offended by Kazuha’s statement. “What the fuck are you even talking about? You know better than anyone that I don’t give a single soul the time of day unless I deem them worthy of it. You’re the only one that can keep up with me, the only one who’s smart enough to equal me. I choose you, and I will in each and every universe, because I love you. Never worry about being enough.”
Silence follows his heartfelt words, and Kunikuzishi hopes that Kazuha knows he speaks the truth.
And Kazuha does know. He always will.
Eons seem to pass between them, stretching long and wide. And then, Kazuha’s lips lock with Kunikuzushi’s. They move in unison, dancing together as if it was a practiced routine. Two souls becoming one. Kunikuzushi feels for Kazuha’s heartbeat, pressing himself closer to his chest.
They part, and Kazuha’s face beams with adoration. His eyes shine, like the entire universe is hidden within them.
“Ugh, stop looking at me like that and stop being sappy. I only say what’s true, not some made up romantic bullshit.” Kunikuzushi rolls his eyes and turns away slightly.
Kazuha hums and practically vibrates next to him. “Thank you for being here with me. And also,” He brings his hand to Kunikuzishi’s porcelain face and drags it to face him. “I love you too.”
Perhaps, at the end of the day, it wasn’t such a horrible Christmas after all.