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“As the huge, sinuous snake glides around your chest, you realise you cannot get your hands free. You kick out, but miss. Your only hope lies in alerting the remainder of the party, but the caverns are dark and wide. What do you do?”
Will looks expectantly at Lucas, who hesitates. Mike looks over Dustin’s shoulder at the sketch of the caverns, the little figures representing the rest of the party. His Paladin is closest to Lucas’s Ranger, but not close enough that he’ll hear him cry out.
“I can’t get my hands free?” Lucas clarifies.
Will shakes his head, not looking too sorry about it. “The more you struggle, the tighter the bounds become, almost as if the same enchantment that has awakened this snake is keeping you still for him to feed upon. The snake winds its way closer and closer, coiling around you, preparing to squeeze.”
Dustin puts his hands in his hair. “Shit shit I knew we shouldn’t have let him go alone! I have the snake charming pipe!”
“Then I’d have been by myself!” Mike says, “with the vampire spiders!” Will knows he’s vaguely hated spiders since the first time they read The Hobbit together and he’s sure that was on purpose to get revenge for the last campaign Mike ran.
“They can’t get through your armour!” Dustin says, tugging his curls. “Lucas only has his cloak!”
“I don’t even have my boot knife!” Lucas says.
“You can’t get your hands free, what use would a boot knife be anyway?” Mike reasons.
Will taps his fingers on the table one-two-three.
“The pressure of the snake around your chest begins to restrict your lungs. Spots dance before your eyes.”
“I bite the snake.” Lucas says triumphantly.
“What?” Mike and Dustin both shout.
Max, from her nest on the sofa, snorts.
“I bite the snake,” Lucas repeats.
“You can’t bite the snake,” Will sas, shaking his head.
“It’s not around my neck,” Lucas says, “You said chest. I bend my head down, and bite the snake.”
“it wouldn’t feel it,” Will says.
“Are you saying I’m not allowed to bit the snake?” Lucas asks.
“Let him bite the snake!” Max calls.
“You aren’t even” playing.” Will says, trying to be stern. “And no, just that a human isn’t going to have the jaw strength.”
“Pre-industrial humans had stronger jaws,” Dustin says triumphantly. “Because of the tougher meat.”
“And as a Ranger, Lucas has been trapping and hunting wild game all his life,” Mike says. “Let him bite the snake!” He’s still a bit sore about those spiders and is very invested in Lucas getting free now.
“He’s a human, the snake is an eldritch being in the thrall of the demon of the caves,” Will says, face scrunched into a cute frown like a puppy that can’t figure out why you didn’t throw the ball.
“Ok well how many damage points does my bite have?” Lucas says.
“Two.” Will looks at his notes even though he’s clearly pulling it all out of thin air. “The snake needs at least nine points of damage to let you go. Even if I’m very kind and let you use a d6, you won’t be able to do it.
“You’re serious? My bite damage has got to be more than that,” Lucas opens and shuts his mouth to demonstrate. “Look, I bet I could do it,”
“You know he eats a lot of apples,” Max calls from the sofa, fully committed to the chaos. Mike knows that look . “Tears right through them. I bet he’d do that to the snake.”
“I can demonstrate on an apple!” Lucas says. “Let me go get one.”
“A snake isn’t the same as an apple!” Will says.
“Well what, you want me to bite an actual snake?” Lucas looks around the room as if expecting one to appear.
“No!” Will says.
“Ok time out,” Mike says.
The party huddle together.
“You’re dead set on biting this snake?” Dustin asks.
“It’s the principle now,” Lucas says. “If I want to bite the snake I should be allowed to.”
“Also there’s no way anyone else would hear him in the caves.” Mike says “I’m too far away and Dustin you still have that temporary deafness from the explosion.”
“I can’t believe Hopper made El skip tonight.” Dustin says. “We could have used her animal handling skills here.”
“So we just have to convince Will that a human bite would make a snake let go,” Mike says.
Lucas nods. “Ok, but how? I’m not gonna like, bite him.”
“Not even for the game?” Mike asks. He’d do it. For the Party.
“I think that might be our only chance,” Dustin says.
“More importantly, Will’s not gonna let me bite him” Lucas says.
“Hey,” Dustin looks up to where Will is making some notes behind his screen. “If one of us bites you to show you a human bite can do four points of damage will you let Lucas bite the snake?”
Will chews his thumbnail. He looks like he’s seriously considering it.
“Will?” Dustin prods
“This is dumb but ok” he says eventually. “We can add it to the notes for future arguments.”
“Ok, but I’m not gonna bite Will,” Lucas says. “So it doesn’t matter.”
“Where’s your scientific curiosity!?” Dustin shouts.
“I’ll do it.” Mike says, at the same time as Will says “Mike can do it.”
Max gets stiffly up from the sofa. “This I have to see.”
Mike pushes his chair back and crouches down next to Will. Will slams his screen down over his notes before Mike can get a good look at anything but a drawing of an even bigger set of spiders.
“I’m just gonna like-” Mike makes a biting gesture.
“OK,” Will’s smiling a bit. “Where?”
“Where what?”
“Where are you gonna bite me?”
Mike turns to look at the rest of the party.
“Lucas, where you thinking?” He asks.
“I don’t know,” Lucas says. “Like I was imagining behind the snake’s head. Bite its neck?”
“I’m not biting his neck,” Mike says. “I’m not a vampire. Plus necks are like, for kissing.”
“Oh are they?” Dustin says, eyebrows raising.
Mike feels a little helpless. “It’s like the sexy place? Everyone knows that!”
Max says. “Oh, kiss El there a lot did you? Or maybe you didn’t and that was the reason-”
“You promised no teasing me about the break up for a month,” Mike reminds her. “You promised.”
“Am I getting bitten or not?” Will says. “Lucas should be dead by now, by the way.”
“Hand?” Dustin suggests, demonstrating by closing his teeth around the heel of his hand.
“I’m not letting him bite my hand, I need that.” Will says.
They all look at each other and burst out laughing while Will protests “That’s not what I MEANT!” ineffectually.
“Where, then?” Mike asks.
Will closes his eyes for a second like he’s thinking, then rolls up the sleeve of his t-shirt. It sits tight around the muscle in his upper arm, making it stand out. Mike’s vaguely jealous. He doesn’t want to be a jock or anything but Will came back from California with actual curves of muscle in his biceps and chests, not like his own arms and legs which always remind him of noodles, long and floppy, height without the heft to back it up. There’s a new solidity to Will that Mike’s still getting used to.
“Here,” Will says, pressing his index finger to the plush muscle. “Before I change my mind.”
“So I bite you hard enough, you give Lucas’s Ranger his bite damage points?” Mike says.
“If you bite me with four points of damage yes.” Will says “but you’re not going be able to.”
Mike bristles at the challenge. “I will,” he says.
He puts his hand around Will’s upper arm to steady it, opens his mouth as wide as it can go, and bites down as hard as he can.
Several things happen at all once.
The give of Will’s biceps under Mike’s teeth is startling, intimate.
Mike licks without thinking, tasting sweat.
Will yells in surprised pain and Mike jerks back.
“What the shit,” Will shrieks, slapping his palm over the bite. “That hurt.”
“I’m SORRY!” Mike yells back “You TOLD me to bite you.”
“Not that hard!” Will says. It sounds like he’s about to cry.
“So you agree, Lucas could have bitten the snake hard enough?” Dustin says triumphantly.
“Not the time,” Mike yells. “Can’t you see he’s hurt?”
“Don’t yell at me, you’re the one who bit him!” Dustin says.
“Do you need stitches?” Lucas asks. “Shit do we need to get you to the hospital?”
Will’s got his hand pressed to his arm and the other hand pressed to his mouth like he’s trying not to cry. He makes a pained high-pitched sound through his fingers.
“And tell them what, that I bit my DM???” Mike shrieks in a panic.
“Is it bleeding?” Max asks. “Do you need a rabies shot?” She touches Will’s hand, trying to see but Will jerks away.
“It’s not bleeding, I don’t have fangs,” Mike says. “Or RABIES.” Will looks kind of pale. “Wait, it’s not bleeding, is it? Will? Will I’m sorry, let me see, I’m sorry.”
“It hurts,” Will says. “Shit, it really hurts.”
He unpeels his hand to show the ringed bite, the red-purple impressions of Mike’s teeth, the blood rising to the surface of the skin. Mike feels sick.
“Fuck” he says, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. We’ll get you to the doctor, I’ll, I don’t know, I’ll make something up.”
“No hospitals or doctors.” Will says at once. They all know how he feels about them. Will licks his thumb and rubs it over the bite like that will make any difference, then hisses in a pained breath and just clasps his hand over his arm again, squeezing.
“Well what then?!” Lucas asks. “I can’t believe you did that Mike, what a dumb idea. He has TEETH MARKS on him.”
“It was your idea!” Mike yells. “You said! ‘I bite the snake’!”
“I wanted to demonstrate on an apple,” Lucas retorts. He pats Will’s shoulder.
“Steve,” Dustin says, “He has that first aid training from the pool.”
“Oh because so many people are being bitten at the pool.” Mike says.
“Can you think of anything else?” Dustin says.
Mike’s about to suggest they go upstairs and ask his Mom, but she’s only just come around to allowing DnD in the house again after the whole demon worship thing so it’s probably not wise. There are tears welling at the edges of Will’s eyes and Mike wordlessly passes him a Kleenex.
“I’m getting him,” Dustin says, walkie at the ready. It crackles and hisses. “Steve, do you copy? This is an emergency. Over.”
There’s a pause.
“Steve,” Dustin repeats tersely. “Do you copy. We have an emergency. Over.”
“This better be a real one.” Steve’s voice crackles out into the basement.
“You have to say over,” Dustin reminds him. He has to do it every time. Mike’s pretty sure Steve does it on purpose.
“Fine. This better be a real emergency. Over.”
“How do you do first aid on bites? Over.” Dustin asks.
“Bites! Shit, like wild dogs? Or ‘wild dogs’-” Mike can hear the quotation marks “What are you doing? Who’s been bitten? Take them to the hospital, do you need picking up- Eddie, my shoes. Uh. Over”
“Mike bit Will’s arm. It was for DnD science. Over.” Dustin paces around the basement, checking in on Will and handing him another Kleenex.
“Mike bit- wait you know, I don’t want to know. Over.”
“We were proving a POINT.” Mike shouts into the walkie from across the table. “Will said I could.”
Eddie’s voice floats over the walkie like he’s crammed up next to Steve.
“I have to hear this,” he says. “None of my Party ever bit me. Over.”
“Not NOW,” Mike says.
“It really hurts,” Will says, tugging Dustin’s arm closer to talk into the walkie until Dustin hands it over. “But you know I don’t like hospitals. What should I do? Over.”
“Uh,” Steve says. “Well is the skin broken? Over.”
“No,” Will says rolling his eyes at Mike. “Mike’s not a vampire.”
“Ok, so it’s like, what? Like a mark? A bruise? Over.”
Will looks back down at his arm, twisting it to get a better look. The rapidly-darkening mark stands out on his pale biceps, a double crescent dug into the muscle. Mike thinks he can feel the ghost of it against his teeth and he licks his lips to chase it away. It doesn’t work.
“Like a really big bruise the shape of Mike’s mouth,” Will says shakily. “It’s red. It hurts? And when I move my arm it hurts more. Over”
There’s a gust of a sigh over the walkie.
“Like on your lower arm?” Steve says, “where the bones are, in your wrist? Over?”
“No,” Will shakes his head. “like in the muscle. On my biceps. We decided that was the best place because necks were too- you know. They are more for kissing?”
“Ok,” Steve says over something that sounds like Eddie laughing wildly. “Well if you’re sure it’s not bleeding, it’s basically like a big hickey? It’s gonna hurt for a bit but it’s just a big bruise. Wash it off just because mouths do have like, gross bacteria in them, and I guess don’t wear short sleeves unless you want to answer awkward questions. Now I’m getting back to my important business. Mike, don’t bite anyone else. Over and Out.”
The walkie clicks off. Will hands it back over to Dustin.
“Well that was useless,” Dustin says.
Lucas peers at Will’s arm. “Steve was right though,” he says. “Like it really is just a big bruise if Mike didn’t break the skin. It’s not like you need stitches or anything. Could be worse than an arm-hickey.”
“Don’t call it that!” Will says, but the wobble in his voice sounds a tiny bit like a laugh.
Max cranes her head to look. “You need ice for bruises to bring them down,” she says authoritatively. “And it will help it hurt less.” No one questions her expertise in that area. Her legs are always covered in skate bruises overlaying the scars.
“I’ll go get you some,” Mike says. He pats Will’s shoulder, says: “I’m really, really sorry,” then takes the stairs out of the basement two at a time.
“Keep it down down there.” Mom calls from the living room. “You’ll wake your sister.”
“Sorry Mom,” Mike says on his way to the kitchen. He burrows in the freezer until he finds the peas and wraps them in a dish towel. He races down the stairs.
“Will?” He calls. “I got the peas.”
“He’s in the bathroom,” Lucas says. “Washing it off like Steve said.” Mike races backupstairs to the bathroom.
Will’s standing at the sink, sleeve pushed as high as it can go, dabbing at his arm with a washcloth.
“Do you want like, rubbing alcohol?” Mike asks, pulling the first aid kit out from under the sink. “Since apparently my mouth is full of gross bacteria.”
“I used soap,” Will says. He attempts a smile. “I think I’ll be fine. It’s not like you drew blood or anything. I’ll risk it.”
Mike hands him the peas and he flinches as he holds them against his arm.
“Hurt?” Mike asks.
“It’s really cold,” Will says, “But it does help a bit.”
“I’m really sorry,” Mike says again, “I didn’t know I could bite that hard.”
“It’s kind of partly my fault.” Will says, shrugging one shoulder. “I said you could bite me, after all.”
“Still, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Mike says. “We all kind of got carried away.”
“Not something I’d planned for in this campaign,” Will agrees. He leans against the sink and cautiously removes the bag of peas. “Does it look any better?”
“Not really?” Mike says. He cups his hand around Will’s biceps gently, turning it to get a better look in the light over the sink. “It looks even more purple now. And you can still see my teeth marks. It hurt any less?” He sweeps his thumb just under the bite, like that might help.
Will lets out a little huff of air.
“A, uh, a little bit?” he says. “But it’s still pretty painful.” He’s not looking at Mike, he’s looking down at his arm, mouth pinched in discomfort.
Mike kisses the tips of his fingers and presses them to the bite. It’s something he remembers his Mom doing to skinned knees. Will’s skin is damp from the condensation of the peas. “All better,” he says nonsensically.
Will stands, frozen. He looks up at Mike. His eyes are huge.
“Not quite better,” he says, eventually. He stares at Mike like he’s willing him to get something right. Mike’s going to do his best.
Mike bends his head like everything’s in slow motion and brushes his lips across the bite, gentle where he was rough, a whisper of an apology. Will gasps.
“How about now?” Mike asks.
“Nearly,” Will says. He tilts his face up, “Maybe try one more?” he asks.
Mike goes to bend his head down again, but Will says “No. Not there.”
“What?” Mike asks, but Will’s dropping the peas to the floor, chilled hand on Mike’s neck, and then their lips are touching. It’s tentative and brief, clumsy. Will’s shaking as he pulls back.
“There,” he says, so soft Mike can barely hear him. Like he’s scared. That won’t do, Mike thinks. Not at all. He can do better.
He kisses him again, as sweetly as he knows how, palm spanning Will’s shoulder carefully. Will’s lips are soft.
“Better now?” he asks, stooping to retrieve the peas to give Will a second. When he looks up Will’s pink and wide-eyed, and smiling like he knows the best secret in the world.
“Getting there,” Will says. “Perhaps, one more time to be sure?”
Mike kisses him again, then again, and again, until the bathroom spins around him, and the only sound is their lips meeting and parting, the taste of Will’s mouth like something he should have known all along.