Work Text:
Wendy peaked out nervou s ly from behind a tree, trying not to let her feelings show on her face or in her body language as she watched Gideon and his gang take on the horde of monsters that had been summoned to capture the Pines twins. Off to her side, Soos was guarding the twins who were clinging to each other in exhaustion, hidden behind a fallen tree. Wendy watched the dust cloud completely envelop the fight and once she was sure it was as safe as it was going to be in this new world, she waved for Soos and the twins to follow her deeper into the forest.
Wendy took point, Mabel behind her followed by Dipper, and Soos bringing up the rear, keeping a cautious eye on the fight that had since faded into the greenery behind them. The group was oddly quiet as they made their way through the woods that surrounded Gravity Falls - normally they’d be chatting and goofing off whilst she teased Dipper, but since the whole Weirdmageddon thing the woods weren’t safe anymore. Particularly with how the triangle dude seemed to be gunning for the Pines twins. Both sets, she thought to herself as she turned back to catch Mabel’s eye giving her a hopefully convincing smile. Mabel returned it in her usual fashion but at a much lower wattage than usual. They were all tired, but Dipper most of all as she watched him wearily trudging through the undergrowth, dragging his feet as they went.
Speaking of the other twins, she hoped to God that Stan was ok. She didn’t know what she’d do if he was injured, or worse. In the four days since this whole debacle had begun she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the man. She just hoped that Stan had managed to escape capture and was hiding in a hole somewhere. She didn’t want to see Dipper and Mabels’ faces if their Grunkle wasn’t okay.
Conversation was non-existent as they trudged through the woods, slowly eating up the miles as they skirted monsters, Weirdness and the town itself. Wendy, as she had practically been raised in these woods along with her apocalypse training at Christmas, continued leading the motley group towards the Mystery Shack. Eventually, they reached a small clearing that provided a decent amount of shelter from the sky and any roaming eye-bats searching for new victims. A small stream ran along the edge of the clearing close to a few tree trunks that had been uprooted during a storm the year before last. She turned to the other three; Soos was practically carrying the other two by this point and Dipper seemed to be clinging onto Mabel in a way that would have been cute if he wasn’t covered in bruises, the biggest of which were under his eyes from the lack of sleep.
“We’ll rest here for a bit,” she decided, reaching out to Soos and grabbing Mabel gently, hugging her to her side as she guided her to the logs closest the stream. Soos did the same to Dipper. “Grab some rest and water, we’ll continue on to the Mystery Shack in about an hour.” A tired nod from Mabel and a quiet grunt from Dipper as he slipped off of the log and onto the forest floor followed her statement.
As she sat on the floor opposite the twins, Soos flopping down beside her, she watched as Mabel settled next to her brother snuggling up next to him as she buried herself in her now slightly grimey sweater. She watched the skies, keeping half an eye on the twins as they huddled together and drifted off, clinging to each other for comfort.
Once the twins had drifted off, she turned to Soos for the first time taking in the big guy. He seemed a s he always did, with the exception of the chewed off corner of his hat and the slightly gaunt look on his face. Despite being handyman of the apocalypse, being out in the wastes (how gnarly was that, the fact that they basically had a wasteland now) for three days had obviously had a big impact on him. She daren’t ask about his family, but…
She shifted awkwardly, staring at the twins as she spoke.
“Do you know what happened to your abuela?” Soos was quiet for a minute, staring into the distance in quiet contemplation.
“When the weirdness wave hit, she was sitting in her chair. The wave… She became the chair.” Wendy didn’t know what to say to that, so just sat in silence as they both watched the forest around them, distant noises of alarms and crashing echoing around the valley. “Last I saw she was ok, but that was when I ran out to try and find Mister Pines. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t carried off by the bat dudes, but I just hope our house wasn’t trashed too bad.” Wendy cringed to herself - an armchair was a lot more breakable than an elderly woman - but patted Soos on the arm gently.
“I’m sure she’s fine, dude. She’s tough and she’s definitely survived worse than this. Soos chuckled to himself, a small smile making its way onto his face.
“Yeah, she’s a tough lady.” Silence fell across the clearing, and all too soon Wendy realised an hour had passed. She gingerly stood up, stretching out her muscles as she stood and shaking away the pins and needles. She held out a hand to Soos who took it gratefully, pulling him up. He smiled at her, then gestured to the stream over his shoulder.
“I’m just going to grab some water dude, it looks pretty safe to drink. You wake up Dipper and Mabel, yeah?” She nodded and he turned around, crouching in front of the stream and started cupping his hands, taking long drinks of water from the stream.
Wendy turned towards the twins. They looked so innocent, curled up against each other and snoring softly. Unfortunately, Wendy thought regretfully as she reached out to shake them both awake gently, it was time to come back to realit y .
“Guys? Hey guys, we need to get moving if we want to get back to the Mystery Shack before it gets too dark.” Dipper shifted slightly, rubbing his eye in a way that under different circumstances would have made her aww in delight since he looked so much like a kitten. As it was, she just smiled slightly.
“Hmm?” Dipper rubbed some sleep out of his eye, gazing up at Wendy with blurry eyes. “Mom? Is that you?” Wendy winced to herself, noting Mabel’s smirking next to her brother - she seemed much more awake, but then again she had been in a better situation compared to the rest of them, and Wendy could go a few more hours before she had to crash. She hoped. First, she had to protect these kids and get them back to Stan in one piece.
“No, you doofus,” she said quietly, gently pushing him in the shoulder. “It’s me, Wendy. We need to get going.” A sudden screech from above them tore her gaze away from Dipper who was suddenly looking a lot more alert, if a bit more red from the embarrassment of mistaking Wendy for his mom (she’d tease him about it later). Out of the corner of her eye she saw Soos and Mabel, who had joined him at the edge of the stream to grab a drink, look into the sky as well. Wendy squinted at the sky - there was decent protection from any flying creatures but it could be better. She pulled Dipper to his feet.
“Grab a drink if you need it, we need to start moving. The canopy isn’t great here, so we need to get deeper into the woods before we’re found.” Dipper nodded, heading over to his sister.
A few minutes later the group started their trek into the woods again, Wendy and Soos keeping an eye on the clouded skies above them for any potential pursuers. There were no visible threats yet, but considering the noise that seemed to be going on close by it was safe to say that at some point they’d need to really hussle if they wanted to get to safety. Wendy’s hand slid down to her axe handle, gripping its smooth wooden handle for comfort as a particularly loud noise sounded almost directly above them.
She froze, motioning for the others to do the same as a large shadow passed over their hiding spot followed by two other shadows. The noises faded into the distance but didn’t disappear. She cursed silently to herself.
“Fuck.” She jumped at the quiet exclamation from behind her staring in surprise at Dipper who had uttered the swear. She ignored it for a second, gesturing for the group to quietly start moving again, trying to direct them in a wide enough circle to avoid the path of the eye-bats. They all unconsciously huddled closer together, eyes to the sky as they progressed at a slightly quicker pace.
Wendy turned to Dipper, keeping half an eye on the forest floor.
“Where did you learn that word?! Was it Stan? Do I need to have another talk with hi m about swearing in front of kids, because I swear if he didn’t listen to mine and Soos’ lecture before you guys arrived I am going to be having words with him -”
“No no! It wasn’t him,” Dipper immediately denied, flapping his hands from side to side as he protected his Grunkle from Wendy’s wrath. He already knew Wendy’s wrath could be terrible. “It was our Uncle. He swears a lot, despite mom trying to get him to not swear around us.”
“Yeah!” Mabel piped up, arms swinging as she started hopping through the undergrowth. “He taught us a load of swears before we started school last year, made us promise not to tell mom or the Maitlands.” Wendy nodded in slight confusion - as far as she was aware, and from what she’d managed to drag out of Stan, the twins' grandad had only had one kid, not two so maybe it was just an honorary uncle?
“Really? Sounds like a cool dude.” Dipper smiled as he and Mabel exchanged glances, their hands drifting to matching striped bracelets in black and white. She stared in fascination - she’d seen the bracelets briefly but never in too much detail, and from here she could see details of a snake on Dipper’s.
“Yeah, he is!” Wendy and Soos winced at the loud exclamation from Mabel, who gasped and started shaking Dipper’s arm violently. He let himself be jiggled by his sister. “Oh my gosh Dip Dop, our mom always told us that if we ever found ourselves in over our heads, we had to call our Uncle! This seems like the perfect time to call him.”
“Now is not the time to call a random dude we don’t even know, guys. Besides, phones don’t work in the weirdness bubble, remember?!” Wendy looked up and - damn it, the eye-bats from earlier were now honing in on their location. She heard Soos gasp next to her.
“Eye-bats at, uh, well I don’t know exactly but incoming from our left dudes!” She pulled the twins into a bush, hoping to lose the eye-bats in the dense undergrowth. She quickly covered both twins’ mouths, watching carefully as the creatures flew directly over their hiding spot, a lot slower than before. She cursed quietly to herself - looked like it was time for the running for their lives part of the day. Again.
Once the bats moved a decent distance away she took her hands off the twins’ mouths, immediately dragging them along in the rough direction of the Shack. The y didn’t have far to go now thankfully, but with the ruckus they were making they were going to need to get to safety quickly, before they all got captured.
As soon as she took her hand off of Mabel’s mouth she started talking again. God, she didn’t need this right now!
“Oh yeah, we don’t need a phone and he’s special! He can do all kinds of cool tricks!”
“Like what?”
“One time, he pulled his head right off and -” Wendy rolled her eyes, pulling Mabel along as she started to lag behind, keeping her eyes on the sky as she heard the noise of flapping wings grow louder agai n . She steadied Mabel as she tripped on a protruding root, losing her balance before Wendy righted her before dragging her along to catch up with Soos and Dipper who had hurried ahead.
“Geez, what is with the persistence here?!” She turned to Mabel. “Now is not the time, we’re running for our lives here!”
“But he’s special! And he’ll be a big help with fighting Bill.”
“How?! It’s not like he’s a demon or being with otherworldly power that could kick Bill’s ass or something equally ridiculous. And speaking of asses, get yours moving, both of you, before we get caught.”
Mabel shrugged. “I just hope he can get through the barrier okay.” Wendy hurried to the front again, dragging Mabel behind her and only releasing her when Soos wordlessly headed to the rear to try and protect the twins if things went to shit. She heard Dipper sigh behind her in resignation. Oh boy, she did not like the sound of that, particularly when the sound of wings was slowly getting louder again.
“Do you want to do it or shall I?” Wendy groaned in despair, keeping her head on a swivel as she tried to shush the twins.
“You did it last time, Dipper. It’s my turn!” The twins started squabbling, their voices starting to carry through the woods and unfortunately attracting the attention of the group of eye-bats. Their beams finally started flitting through the foliage, coming closer and closer to their position as the twins continued arguing, Wendy and Soos looking nervously into the treetops and trying to drag the twins with them towards the safety of the Mystery Shack.
“Uh, guys? Scary monsters getting closer to eating us here, do whatever it is you’re going to do now!” The two continued and the eye bats were getting closer now. Wendy in exasperation smacked them both up the back of the heads in frustration. “GUYS!” The twins stopped their arguing, noticing the predicament and their faces went pale, highlighting their injuries and Dipper’s particularly messy clothes after three days of being on the run from what he’d told her earlier.
“Fine Mabel, you do it!” Dipper conceded as they turned and started sprinting through the trees to try and escape their pursuers. Mabel gave a little hop of joy as they ran, narrowly avoiding tripping over a protruding root.
“Yay! Time to call Uncle Lawrence!” Wendy looked over her shoulder, swearing quietly to herself as she noticed the rapidly closing distance between the eye bats and their small group. They still had a way to go and considering the conversation the twins were having in rapid fire -
(“You do realise the moment we get out of this a live he’s going to tell mom, right?” Dipper remarked, slightly out of breath thinking about the last time they’d been in semi-serious peril. Mabel paled further, although was feeling calmer than she had been when they first escaped Mabel-Land now that they had a plan.
“Oh God/Satan, we’re going to be in so much trouble.”)
- They might not get to the Shack alive. She threw herself to the side, the rest of the group scattering around her as the first of the three bats dived through the branches above them, eye beams blazing a trail of stony destruction.
“Beetlejuice.” A shiver seemed to echo through the forest, and the eye-bats paused for a millisecond giving Wendy time to start sprinting again, scooping up the kids as she went, Soos screaming behind her as he started dodging the beams from the second bat.
“Beetlejuice.” Wendy tripped. Of all the stupid things she could do in this situation, she freaking tripped! Thankfully she managed to push the twins ahead of her, forcing them further ahead into the darkness of the forest. Hopefully they’d have the sense to keep running through the woods, the Shack wasn’t far now. She caught sight of them in the dark ahead of her, eyes wide in fear and the fading light reflecting oddly off of their eyes.
She turned to see the third eye-bat, backed up by the first, eyes glaring as their beam started up and she could hear Soos fall to the ground off to her left with a soft “Oomph!” She squeezed her eyes shut, preparing for the inevitable -
“BEETLEJUICE!” There was a poof, and the feeling of a shockwave of air being displaced with a soft woomph, causing the eye-bats to scatter briefly. Wendy opened her eyes in shock and looked up at the figure that had appeared. He was short, shorter than Soos and Stan, but what he lacked in height he made up with his presence. And the s m ell, she thought as she gagged on a sudden whiff of mould and dirt. His hair was a bright green, as was the rest of his facial hair from what she could see (wow, this dude was dedicated) and he was wearing a black and white striped suit covered by an old holey trench coat.
“Hey kids, what’s up? I thought you were meant to be having a fun time in the middle of nowhere, Oregon. Why are you…” Uncle Lawrence (who else could it be?) trailed off noting the situation. He raised a hand and snapped his fingers, the sound echoing oddly in the suddenly confined space as the eye-bats froze, struggling against unseen bonds. He hmm-ed, before balling up a hand and pitching… Something into the trees. He turned his attention to the twins who managed to pry themselves out of the dense undergrowth Wendy had desperately thrown them into a few seconds before.
“What the fuck did you guys get yourselves into, what happened to summoning for shits and giggles?! Why has there always got to be serious end-of-the-world situations with Deetzs'?”
“Swear jar!” Dipper and Mabel cried out in unison, before throwing themselves at the grungy looking guy with the striped suit. Behind them, the eye-bats were being torn to literal shreds by three… Clones? Friends? At this point Wendy didn’t care, but they weren’t going to be a problem for much longer.
The guy returned the kids hugs in a similar way to Stan, reluctant but clearly enjoying the attention of the twins. He knelt in front of the two and gave them a once over, gaze sliding briefly over to her and Soos helping each other off of the ground before taking note of the sky and general Weirdness that was surrounding them.
“Does somebody want to explain what the hell is going on here?”
-…-
A brief explanation later, that had consisted of no e xplanation at all -
(“Who are you?”
“He’s Uncle Lawrence!”
“Just roll with it kid, let the author get through some more pointless descriptions first then you can get an explanation. Will it be the right one?” He shrugged, staring off into the distance, focusing intently on a single spot. “Who knows. Now, Into the Woods!”)
- And both Wendy and Soos were still as confused as they had been ten minutes ago. Thankfully, the Mystery Shack was now visible through the trees. The twins had been clinging onto their uncle like limpets and seemed a lot more relaxed now that he was with them. They had been rushing through events that led up to the current Weirdmaggedon that was happening, with Dipper trying to explain the whole Bill situation with Mabel interrupting at inopportune moments. Oddly enough, Wendy thought as she and Soos stumbled behind them, their uncle seemed to be keeping up with the hurried explanations his niece and nephew were giving him.
“- And now he’s got Great Uncle Ford and we need to rescue him!” Dipper finished as they started to broach the treeline before the Mystery Shack. Their uncle nodded solemnly and was about to say something when he caught sight of the Shack between the trees. He stepped out into the clearing, the others following closely behind him.
The Shack looked dark and quiet. The totem pole was knocked over and the normally bustling car park was littered with trash and debris. The picnic benches had disappeared (whether they had been displaced or Weirded out, Wendy did not want to know) and there didn’t seem to be a living soul around.
Lawrence gave out a low whistle of appreciation, making Wendy and Soos jump at the sudden noise. Wendy looked over her shoulder, wanting to shush the adult but figured that whatever he was, it was probably not a good idea to piss him off too much.
“That’s some nice protection you’ve got up there. If I was anyone other than me I might have some difficulty getting through.” Wendy turned to Soos, who made a vague ‘I don’t know’ noise and shrugged his shoulders. Dipper and Mabel, however, seemed to know what he was talking about. Wendy watched as their eyes lit up with excitement (seriously, how resilient were these kids?) and Dipper opened his mouth to most likely ask a list of questions -
Everyone froze, including Lawrence, at the sudden sound of something being knocked over inside followed by a hushed voice and vague rustling. Lawrence growled quietly, an odd noise even for a guy as strange as the twins’ uncle, and Wendy reached her hand out to hover over her axe handle. Something in the back of her head was twitching violently being in such close vicinity to the older guy, and it wasn’t just the smell she realised as their group huddled closer together. 3
The twins pushed in front of their uncle, Dipper reaching out for a baseball bat that was left propped up next to the sofa and Mabel reached into her sweater for her grappling hook.
(“Mabel, kid.”
“Yes, Uncle Lawrence?”
“Where did you get a grappling hook?” Mabel looked sheepish for a second, but she could see his hair lighten in excitement.
“Grunkle Stan gave it to me. Don’t tell mom?” Her Uncle laughed quietly as Dipper reached out for the door.
“Never, kid. She’d use it on me in a second and then annoy the Ne t herworld out of Chuckles and the Maitlands when we head back over the holidays.”)
Wendy watched, palming her axe as Dipper slowly reached out for the door, noting Soos behind her turning his cap backwards in preparation for whatever was on the other side of the door. The kid looked back for a second and Wendy was almost shocked at the hard look in his eye - this kid had been through a lot of shit over this summer, from the bits and pieces that she’d heard over the past few days, and how he was still standing at the moment was scarily impressive.
(Beetlejuice turned to the audience, wiping a tear from his eye.
“He takes after his mother, this one. Equally terrifying and hard to stop once he gets an idea into his head. I’m looking forward to him stabbing this demon Bill guy in the back. He’ll even beat his mom’s record!”)
Dipper gave a countdown on his fingers and they burst into the Shack, yelling to try and intimidate whatever intruders were inside. A group of motley townsfolk and creatures from the forest roared in defiance back at them, even Stan was wielding his old brass knuckles at them -
“Grunkle Stan?!” Wendy watched, shocked as the twins ran over to Stan, almost stumbling over themselves to get to their Grunkle as quickly as possible. His answering shout of “Kids!” warmed Wendy’s heart, especially when he pulled them into a close hug. She caught his eye as Stan gave her and Soos a once over as well, definitely not tears welling up as he saw them both relatively ok. She rolled her own damp eyes and rushed over, throwing herself into the hug, Soos appearing over her shoulder and enveloping them all.
The dry, thready cough of a chain smoker on his last legs broke the reunion. They looked towards the door where Lawrence, forgotten in the midst of the high emotion, stood leaning against the door frame examining his black nails. He glanced up at the group, smiling with too many teeth.
“Hey. I’m looking for a multi-talented man who has too much time on his hands and a rap sheet of vo i ces longer than the list of changes between DC and Broadway?” He pushed himself off of the crooked doorway with hands in his pockets and stepped into the house, his dress shoes echoing oddly on the wooden floor. Wendy watched as Stan’s eyes narrowed, and he started to push the kids behind him.
“Who the heck are you?” Lawrence only grinned wider, thrusting his hands out to the side in a very showman like gesture.
“I’m Lyds’ brother, their Uncle Lawrence of course!” Stan frowned in disbelief, giving the guy a cautious once over and still trying to hide the kids behind him.
“I thought Shermie only had one kid?,” he asked sceptically. Lawrence dropped his arms, thrusting his hands back into his pockets and rolling his eyes.
“Jesus, everyone’s a critic and demanding to know my sob life story.”
“I didn’t ask for your life -”
“Chuckles adopted me when Lyds was, like, 16 or something.” Stan still looked cautious, but nodded begrudgingly and invited the grungy looking man further into the Shack as everyone crowded around, both parties giving a brief explanation as to what had been happening since the Weirdness began.
Wendy watched Lawrence as everyone was distracted by Soos and the twins’ retelling of the past few days (she saw Stan slowly draw Dipper and Mable closer to him as their stories went on). He wandered around the Shack, taking in the destroyed ‘exhibits’ and tacky tourist trap merchandise that littered the shelves and floor. He moved oddly for a grown guy, like his limbs were attached to his body by a few threads rather than by muscle and bone. He swaggered like a skeleton and his head was always on a swivel, taking in everything at once.
There was still something annoying the hell out of Wendy though, as she watched him from the wall next to the vending machine that was now hanging from its hinges (that was actually a secret passage? Okay, she was getting this story out of Stan and Stan’s apparent twin once she got the chance. There were a lot of things that she needed to beat up M r Pines for, if she thought about it). It was almost like a notice-me-not spell from Harry Potter - not true invisibility, but almost as if he was hiding something that should have been obvious.
She focused on him, trying to break through whatever invisible barrier she was suddenly aware of. Screw being polite, she was determined to work out what the fuck was going on here. Unfortunately, she’d been so focused on him that she’d failed to notice his attention jump to her, and was shocked out of her contemplation and focusing by the man himself suddenly appearing in front of her. It was almost like he’d been on the other side of the room and just… Appeared in front of her.
He leaned down and looked her in the eyes, curiosity blazing in his amber eyes.
“Cool eye colour dude, goes well with the green hair,” she blurted out. She smacked herself in the face, groaning as she did so. Lawrence threw his head back and laughed.
“You crack me up kid. No wonder the nibblets like you.” She cringed, rubbing the back of neck with her hand.
“Look, sorry about that man. It was, like, beyond rude.” Lawrence blew a raspberry, weaving his hand dismissively.
“Na, no sweat dude. I’ve heard worse from people at the stage door or on fanfiction sites.” Wendy stared at him in confusion.
“Huh?”
“ E h, don’t worry. Anyway, sounds like we’re getting to my bit of the story if you want to join in for some extensive exposition as to what I’m doing here?” She nodded, heading towards the group that was sitting around a temporary campfire of sorts in the middle of the main Mystery Shack floor.
“Oh, and kid?” She turned back to Lawrence.
“Yeah?” He gave a sharp grin, the dark outside and flickering lights inside making his face look more ghostly than before.
“You might be better prepared for the strange and unusual than most people, but if your brain tells you to run..?” He was suddenly in front of her, and Wendy jumped back thoroughly spooked as she felt the blood drain from her face. Lawrence’s face was suddenly a lot paler with purple bruises under his eyes, green goop glistening along his hairline and patches of moss on his face. He looked and smelled like a corpse.
“What the fuck ,” she whispered to herself as the grin on Lawrence’s face stretched wider than should be possible.
“You should probably run,” the guy (if he even was that) stage whispered, leaning close.
“Uncle Lawrence!” Both of them turned to Mabel who had appeared next to them, Dipper behind her. “Stop scaring Wendy, and come tell everyone more about you!”
“Yeah, she said you could help us defeat Bill!” Wendy took a deep breath trying to recover as a Manotaur yelled out from the crowd. Lawrence now looked more like the normal guy from before, the oppressing aura she hadn’t even realised was pinning her in place dissipating almost immediately as Lawrence’s attention was diverted to his niece and nephew.
“Just making sure she knows what she’s getting herself into,” he said, chuckling darkly as he headed over to the main group and coming to a stop next to the Pines family. Wendy followed him, taking a seat next to some gnomes. Well, this should be good at least.
Lawrence stood at the edge of the circle, the fire reflecting oddly off his face making it look more haunted than it really should be. Wendy looked around the circle and saw everyone shifting nervously - at least she wasn’t the only one getting weird vibes off the dude. The twins on the other hand seemed fine.
He sighed, fidgeting as he looked around the circle and started murmuring to himself. Wendy couldn’t hear the words but it looked like he was hyping himself up.
“Well?” Everyone turned to the open vent in the wall where the head of wax Larry King was sitting, partially obscured by the vent opening. “We’re waiting.” A dry laugh escaped Lawrence’s mouth and gave himself a shake.
“Okay. This is something that even the nibblets aren’t fully aware of, and the whole story will probably come out but only after I speak to Lydia. Their mom,” he clarified for the people and creatures who looked confused at the mention of the random person. “So basically, I’m a demon. I first met Lydia when she was 15 in a less than ideal situation, got her to break my curse by saying my name, had some fun freaking out Chuck and Deborah and the sexy ghosts that lived in their house, married Lydia - it was a greencard thing! - and became human, then I died and left for a bit to try and find my dad. That didn’t work out so a few months later I went back for no reason whatsoever, I definitely was not lonely or missing them, or anything s entimental like that. At all.”
“Then, through a massive amount of trial, error and chaos I eventually basically became part of the family.” He spread his hands in a tah-dah gesture. “Comprende?” SIlence met his words. A tentative hand was raised by one of the gnomes, maybe Jeff?
“If you’re a demon, why do you look like a human? And isn’t Bill CIpher a demon? How do we know you’re not working with him?!” Lawrence clicked his tongue, giving the gnome finger guns.
“Yeah, good point Alex.”
“My name is Jeff!”
“You keep telling yourself that. Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. The problem is that most humans can’t handle the whole ‘Argh he’s a demon!’ thing, so I have to keep it under wraps.” She saw Dipper give a small frown from where he was sitting next to Mabel and Stan.
“How come we’ve never seen it then? We’ve known you since we were born!”
“Because kid, your mom asked that I not tell you too much until you were at least 15. I could carry on with the magic tricks and stuff because that could be easily explained. But all the obviously otherworldly stuff?” He shrugged, and Wendy gasped as he conjured a cane out of nowhere, leaning on it with a sly grin. “Had to keep that to a minimum.”
“So…” Mabel peered out from behind Dipper, glancing at her uncle. Wendy cringed at the sad look on her face. She knew Mabel preferred honesty with how she’d been hounding Stan about his scams and fleecing of tourists over the whole summer, and now learning that her uncle and mother had been lying to her for her whole life? Yeah, that was going to be some family therapy sessions. Just, hopefully not anywhere near Gravity Falls - the therapists would be busy here for years to come when this was over.
“What do you really look like then?” Wendy watched warily as Lawrence’s smile dropped and he started fidgeting with his suit, throwing the cane over his shoulder as it disappeared back to wherever he’d summoned it from. Seriously, this dude was just a little too much like Bill in some ways, from what she’d seen and heard from Dipper. Considering how much the kid had paled when the cane had come out he’d also drawn the same comparison - maybe that was why the guy was now looking between the twins like he was about to shit his pants?
The guy sighed and wiped a hand down his face. The temperature in the room dropped suddenly, and the smell of dirt and something sour started wafting around the room. Lawrence -
Wendy reared back, along with the rest of the room. That flight or fight instinct that she’d had earlier when this guy was trying to scare her off? Yeah, that was suddenly back in full force and about 10 times more powerful. But, she realised, it was completely different to Bill’s energy and the general Weirdness around the town.
Bill’s energy was hot and all consuming. It crept into the cracks and lit everything up from the inside until you were too blind to see the truth of the situation. Lawrence’s energy though was… More comforting in a way. It was cold, sure, but it was more like stepping out into a chilly morning, your breath fogging in front of you as you were stressing about the 5 assignments all due on the same day.
Okay, so maybe not that comforting but better than the heat of Bill’s shit.
Lawrence dropped his hands and snapped his fingers before anyone else could get a good look at him. Wendy nearly hurled what meagre remains of roast bat she had in her stomach at the sudden displacement into the living room, and from the looks on the Pines and Soos’ faces they were in the same boat.
“What the heck?!” Stan yelped as he suddenly found himself in a different room. Wendy could vaguely hear a commotion from the main room where they’d just been.
“Like, dudes? What was that!” Soos was obviously trying to keep a cool head but Wendy had known him long enough to see that he was freaking out a lot more than he was letting on. Heh, just like her.
“Yeah, sorry not sorry about that.” Lawrence shrugged and Wendy finally had the chance to get a good look at the guy.
To be honest he didn’t look that different. His hair and beard were still a bright green, although there were now stripes of white, orange and indigo that seemed to marble through his hair like a bizarre 80s drug trip scene. The moss, goop and bruising were present again, and his ears were pointed. His hands as well, rather than the painted black nails they had been before were now a lot more claw-like as he ran them through his hair, doing another tah-dah pose as the rest of the family took everything in.
Wendy glanced over to the twins. They did not seem as shocked as they should be.
“But we’ve seen you like this before!” Mabel exclaimed, jumping up with a big grin on her face. Dipper seemed a bit more cautious compared to his sister but nodded in confirmation.
“Yeah… Although you and mom always said that it was make-up and stuff when we saw you like this. Is it not?” Lawrence shook his head, eyes flickering up to Stan whose face was blank, letting the kids take the lead on this.
“This… This is what I normally look like. Like I said, I’m a demon, and I'm dead. But I'm perfectly fine, I was born this way!,” he rushed to finish as the twins and Stan reared back in horror, reaching for various weapons. “Anyway, Bill is from the Nightmare Realm, kinda like a multiverse type situation, right? And while I technically also have a multiverse (which is a lot more shit, there are like 52 you have to play with, I only have 3!) I’m a demon from the Netherworld.”
“Uh, excuse me dude. What’s the Netherworld?” Soos asked tentatively.
“The Netherworld is basically the afterlife. It’s where you go when you die. And I know, don’t start with the whole existential crisis thing, I’ve heard it too many times. Yes it exists, don’t know about God or whatever. It’s just - there. Before I met your mom,” he said, pointing to the twins. “I was a guide and Bio-Exorcist. Basically, I guided the dead from the land of the living into the Netherworld, and if they wanted Breathers - that’s any living person - out of the house they employed me as a bio-exorcist.”
“So you got rid of the living so the dead could, uh live in peace?” Stan clarified.
“Yeah, in a nutshell. But I was under a curse, still am technically. The living can’t see me unless I’m summoned.” Wendy had a sudden light bulb moment.
“That’s what Mabel did in the forest. She summoned you?”
“She called me. Since I’m already summoned by Lyds back home, it was more a request for help rather than a summon to the living plane. Any other questions?”
“What’s your name then?” Lawrence turned to Dipper who was looking at him with, not distrust but it was similar enough that Wendy could almost see the air deflate out of him.
“I can’t say it.”
“How about, a game of charades?” Lawrence laughed.
“No, I’ve done over 500 ‘games of charades’, thanks. Mabel already said it. You know it too. It’s what your mom told you to say if you were ever -”
“Ever in over our heads,” the twins finished in unison.
“So, your real name is Beetlejuice?” Mabel asked. A spotlight from nowhere suddenly popped into existence, and Lawrence shivered (“And not in a fun way”).
“Mabel, sweater queen of all, please don’t say it again.”
“Why?”
“Three times in a row it must be spoken unbroken.” He groaned suddenly, covering his face briefly as he started muttering to himself.
(“Jesus, quoting the show left, right and centre today. Why does this always happen when I’m explaining this Whole Being Dead Thing to people?” He groaned again, louder.)
“What I mean is,” he continued, dropping his hands down from his face. “You summoned me by saying my name three times. To unsummon me it goes the same way. That’s why I brought us into a separate room, because I don’t want anyone else knowing about how I work and stuff.”
“Is Lawrence even your real name or is that just one that mom gave you?” Dipper asked, curiosity obviously winning out over the whole betrayal thing. Lawrence (Beetlejuice?) smiled softly.
“Ahh Dipper, my fellow constellation bro, never change. Yes it is, it’s my first name. The B-word is my middle name and my last name is something that you might find out later, it’s at someone else’s discretion right now.” He opened his mouth again, obviously about to say something, but snapped it closed again after catching a glance at the storm brewing on Stan’s face. Oh shit.
“Did my brother know about this?,” he asked furiously.
“Uh, stupid question. Which one?”
“Shermie! Does he know about demons and all this stuff? And never told me?!”
“Okay, smart guy. One, I’m assuming you’re talking about Chuckles. In which case yes, he knows about me because I tried to murder him when the whole thing was going down in the 1980s. Two, did you ever tell him about the crap going up here? No, I thought not, so you don’t really have an excuse for being pissed off at him.” Wendy watched in amazement as Stan’s mouth opened again, ready to continue ranting but seemed to think better of it and closed his mouth with a clack. Wendy laughed in delight.
“Man dude, you have got to teach me that trick.” Lawrence turned to her, a grin on his face.
“Sure, beaver.” As Wendy tried to puzzle out the nickname, she watched as Lawrence crouched down facing the twins. He rubbed a hand nervously along the back of his neck.
“So I know there’s still a lot of explaining to do and all, but do you still, uh, want me as your uncle and stuff? If you don’t then I need to talk to Lyds because I have room and everything at your house, obviously, and then I’d need to talk to Sexy and Babs about moving back in with them which they will not be happy about, and -”
His ranting was cut off by the twins throwing themselves into his somewhat open arms, trying their best to squeeze the air out of him. He oomph quietly and stumbled backwards at the unexpected weight suddenly thrown onto him. Wendy watched in shock as several long stripey arms burst from the floor and wall behind him, catching him and pushing him back to his feet before he could completely be swamped by an over-excited sweater and slightly more sedated puffer jacket.
“Guess that answers that question,” he said, returning the hug with equal fervour. “Now don’t go mentioning this to anyone, I have a reputation to maintain and all that stuff.” Dipper and Mabel laughed wetly, tightening their holds on their uncle. Wendy smiled to herself at the site - to be honest, the odd demon uncle fit pretty well into the already crazy story of the Pines life. She was looking forward to hearing how the hell the twins’ mom managed to bag a demon for a brother while her uncle managed to bag one for a nemesis who was hell bent on destroying the world.
“Now.” Wendy and Soos suddenly backed away at the grin that Beetlejuice was aiming at the room in general, her instincts kicking in that this was a dangerous thing and she needed to hide. Stan and the twins were the only ones who stayed in place, though Stan seemed to be fighting the instinct to turn tail like the rest of them. “What do you say we go kick Bill Cipher’s fucking ass back to whatever Hell he came from?”