Chapter Text
Tommy wasn’t exactly a subtle person.
Actually, Tommy was about the least subtle person Wilbur could think of. He always spoke his mind, for better or for worse (usually for worse. Almost always for worse. It was a problem), absolutely fearless in saying the first thought that came to mind. He wore his heart on his sleeve, telegraphed every feeling and emotions in his actions and words. There was no hiding when it came to Tommy, only expression in its purest form; bright bursts of laughter or uproaring indignation, Tommy would reveal all in a heartbeat.
Which is perhaps why it was so easy for Wilbur to realize something was off with him.
To take a few steps back, Wilbur and Tommy had been planning this particular stream for weeks. It wasn’t anything fancy; some Minecraft to warm the chatters up, followed by some Raft if they still wanted to do some gaming, otherwise simply chatting until they felt like ending. They had purposefully planned for the stream to be something lowkey; they’d both had lots on their plate recently, and it would be a nice way to wrap up their day, unwinding in each other’s company and getting to relax and be themselves for a bit. It wasn’t supposed to be anything strenuous, no crazy lore plans or elaborate scripting needed for today, just the two of them. Wilbur had been looking forward to the stream ever since they’d arranged it, always happy to spend time with the younger.
The stream had started off okay, with the usual energy Tommy brough instantly invigorating Wilbur. He was pretty sure the viewers picked up on how he brightened, smiling a little wider and laughing a little louder, as they constantly egged Tommy on from his side. However, about halfway through the stream, the mood rapidly shifted, Tommy suddenly becoming quieter. Compared to his usual demeanor, the restrained laughter and lack of shouting was jarring. Wilbur was worried, but chalked it up to a lack of energy or motivation, and resolved to ask Tommy about it later. Whatever the cause, the energy was thrown off for the rest of the night, and Wilbur was eager to end the stream and find a way to talk to Tommy sooner rather than later.
He did just that, announcing that he was tired, and it was late, and he had big plans for tomorrow so chat would let up more easily. Realistically, it didn’t matter if chat told him he couldn’t leave, but he liked to try and compromise with them anyways. Sure enough, the side bar was filled with goodbyes in an instance, and Tommy mumbled out something of the same sentiment. He hit the ‘end stream’ button, leaning back in his chair and sighing whilst trying to pop his back. Tommy must’ve heard him, because there was a scoff on the other side of his screen.
“Yeah, pop off king. Keep going.”
“Oh, be quiet. It’s not like you’ve never had to crack your back before.”
“Yeah, but never in front of you. Frankly, I can’t believe you’d crack your back in my presence, Wil. That's just insulting.”
“Well, sorry, then. I’m stiff, what did you want me to do about it?”
“Get better. Cope. stop being old, God, you remind me of Philza.”
“Wha- I’m not that old!”
“Oh, my poor friend Wilbur, who passed away of old age. I remember him fondly for his gross fucking back noises.”
“You’re such a prick, my God.”
Tommy laughed, quietly, but it sounded false to Wilbur. Alarms were sounding off in his head as he shuffled upright, subconsciously straightening even if Tommy couldn’t see him.
“Still up for a walk tonight? The weather is supposed to be good.”
“You’re, like, the only person in the world who checks the weather.”
“That is factually incorrect.”
“Whatever, man. I should be asking you that, considering you’re the one complaining about being tired ‘n shit.”
“Oh- no, I’m alright still. Mostly I just wanted to end the stream, that's all.”
“Oh.” Tommy’s voice was quiet, almost contemplative. Wilbur’s worry only grew. “Okay. If you’re ready, I guess.”
“Sure. I’ll meet you out front.”
“Okay.”
The call ended abruptly, leaving Wilbur blinking in confusion. There was definitely something off about Tommy, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. He hurried around his flat, grabbing a sweater and pulling on his boots before swinging out the door, barely making sure the hinges latched as he quickly set off in the direction of Tommy’s building. Living so close to Tommy was nice; Wilbur liked being able to check up on the younger, to be within reach if he needed help. It also made spending time together a non-issue, hence their little tradition of going for walks. It was refreshing, or at least, Wilbur thought it was. Spending time with Tommy was always a highlight to his day; with any luck, Tommy felt similarly and wasn’t just humouring Wilbur. He didn’t know if his heart could take that.
In no time at all, Wilbur was in front of Tommy’s apartment, loitering in the entryway as he waited for the younger to show up. It didn’t take him long; never did, really, but Wilbur was relieved nonetheless. Seeing Tommy, with his unruly mass of blond curls and stupid, stupid blue puff jacket appear in the lounge settled something in his heart, gave him the reminder that Tommy cared, that he spent time with him for a reason, that Tommy loved him, through all the jabs and bits and curses.
Wilbur smiled. Tommy scoffed.
“Managed to get up without crumbling into sand, did you?”
“I did, I did. It was difficult, with my bones being so frail and all, but since you insisted I managed to hold myself together.”
Tommy snorted. “
You
insisted. Clingy bitch.”
“Semantics, hardly important. I wanted to chat with you?”
“Ay? About what?”
Wilbur hummed. “Walk with me, I’ll tell you as we go.”
Tommy obliged him, and the two set out along their usual path, walking in not-quite uncomfortable silence. Tommy mostly kept his head down, and Wilbur watched him from the corner of his eye, worry growing with each step. Usually, they’d have started up some bit by now, Tommy crowing and shrieking while Wilbur was barely able to breathe through his laughter, desperately telling Tommy to quiet down before someone woke up. The quiet wasn’t bad, per say: it was peaceful, serene, allowing Wilbur to take in the world around them. The ocean lapped quietly at the shore, carrying away sediment and depositing new rocks as it went, forever dancing with the shoreline. It was nice. It did not detract from Tommy’s strangeness.
“I was thinking,” Wilbur started, shattering the silence and finally using Tommy to glance over at him, “That it’d be nice to get out and vlog again.”
“Alright.” Tommy mumbled back, idly kicking a rock on their path. It skittered away from the shore, rolling a few paces before settling in the road. “Any ideas where you wanna go?”
“Nothing in particular, I suppose. A rock climbing vlog might be fun.”
“Yeah. could probably get Tubbo in on that one. He likes that kind of thing.”
“Yeah, yeah. Could probably get him to do something at sea with us to. Or maybe a beach vlog? We could do, like, a sand castle competition.”
“Sure. I can see if anyone would be interested in that.”
The conversation tapered off, and Wilbur felt no closer to any answers than when he started. It was infuriating, and it was worrying, and Wilbur wanted to sweep Tommy up in his arms and hug him, or maybe shake him until he spat out what was going on in his mind.
“Is something bothering you?” He tried instead, quiet and genuine as he watched Tommy carefully, watched the way he tensed and coiled and took a step away from WIlbur.
“What?”
“Are you okay? You’ve seemed off all day. I’m worried about you.”
“It’s. It’s nothing. Just tired, I guess.”
“Okay. Do you want to go home? I don’t mind cutting our evening short.”
“No. It’s fine. Let’s just keep going.”
“Are you sure? It really wouldn’t be a bother.”
“Yeah, I’m. It’s all good. Let’s keep going.”
Wilbur let Tommy take the first few steps, trying to decide the correct course of action. Tommy was practically an adult, he could make choices for himself, and if he wanted to continue despite apparently being exhausted, Wilbur shouldn’t really intervene. But. But he couldn’t shake his worries. The younger was obviously unwell and in need of a break. Letting him continue to wear himself down would surely be in bad taste.
“Are you coming?” Tommy called, now a fair distance ahead of him.
“Yeah, give me a second.” Wilbur jogged back up to Tommy, who quirked an eyebrow at him.
“Getting sentimental over there?”
“No.” Yes.
“Sure, whatever. I know you.”
Wilbur sighed. Obviously his initial approach wasn’t working. It was time to change directions.
“You can talk to me about anything, you know.”
“Oh God, you really are getting sentimental.”
“I’m serious. Anything at all.”
“Mhm. Okay.”
“I’ll never judge you, Toms. I’ll always be here if you need someone.”
Tommy didn't reply, so Wilbur let the comment sit in the air between them, content to leave Tommy to his thoughts. He didn't know what the younger was thinking, could never really guess what was going on in his head, but he could see all the signs of stress carved into his muscles, tense and wary and considering something that Wilbur couldn't guess. Tommy was so easy to read, and yet also so, so difficult to understand, and Will thought maybe unraveling that mystery was one of the best parts of spending so much time with him. The ocean sang beside them, an endless song of give and take, give and take.
"Do you think I'm annoying?"
Wilbur could've never guessed that's where the conversation was going. "What?"
"Sorry. You don't have to answer that. It's stupid. Forget it."
"No, Tommy- why would I ever think that?"
Tommy sniffled, and fuck, was he crying? "I don't- I just- everyone says I'm annoying. And loud. And a child. And… I ‘unno. I guess it just got to me today. Sorry."
"Don't apologize, Toms, you're fine. Who said you're annoying?" Wilbur was going to demolish whoever made Tommy feel so upset with himself. Whoever made Tommy think Wilbur would think so little of him.
"No one! Really, Wil, it's. It's just comments and shit. I shouldn't have taken it to heart, it's fine."
"It's not fine. You shouldn't have to live feeling like that. How is that fair to you?"
Tommy didn't reply. Wilbur was fairly sure he could feel his heart breaking.
"Tommy, look at me."
The younger did, tear tracks visible down his cheeks. His breath shuddered as Wilbur put his hand on his shoulder, feeling like he might just be the only thing holding Tommy together.
"I would never, ever say that about you. I would never want you to feel that way. I wouldn’t ever want to hurt you, Toms, I don’t ever want you to feel like I don’t care.”
He sniffled again, seeming to choke against his own sobs. “I know, I know. I was just. God, I don’t even know. I’ve just seen- so many messages about it recently. And you were telling me to shut up, and… I knew you didn’t mean it, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I-”
Wilbur was sure he could feel his heart shatter into thousands of fragments, lodging in his chest and throat as he took a shaky breath, horrified he’d perpetuated whatever Tommy was feeling. “Toms, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry that I did that to you.”
“It’s okay, you didn’t know, it wasn’t that serious-”
“It is that serious. If I ever cross a line like that, please,
please
tell me, Toms. I don’t ever want you to think I’m only pretending to like you, okay?”
Tommy sniffled, and shuddered, nodding shakily. “Okay.”
“Can I hug you?”
He didn’t reply, this time, instead crashing into Wilburs chest and breaking, sobbing openly against his arms. Wilbur held him tight, murmuring into his hair and keeping him close, and safe, and
loved
until he quieted, breath hitching and wet with tears but stable
.
“Toms.”
“Mmh?” he sounded tired, worn out from the emotional outburst. Wilbur couldn’t blame him.
“I promise, I’ll never, ever say anything bad about you without you knowing it's a joke, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I love you so much, Toms. No matter the universe, no matter how far apart we are, you’re my little brother, okay?”
Tommy nodded against his chest, breath still quivering, and Wilbur thought maybe everything would be alright.