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Look, Callie didn’t feel great about how things were happening in court. It wasn’t ideal by any means, but Arizona backed her into a corner and she didn’t have a choice. Sofia was her daughter and she couldn’t lose her. 

And she couldn’t let Penny go to New York without her. She just couldn’t. Because Penny was her second chance, and she loved her, and she couldn’t let anyone else walk away from her. New York was a fresh start for her, and an amazing opportunity for Penny, and Sofia would love it. And she couldn’t let Arizona take Sofia from her. 

She had let Arizona get on a plane without her and it somehow had become her greatest regret. Some nights, if she had a bit too much to drink, or was just feeling particularly sentimental, Callie found herself wondering what might have happened if she had been willing to go to Malawi with Arizona, if she had been able to take a step back and take a breath, would things be different. Fundamentally, of course they would be, Sofia wouldn’t exist for starters. Arizona wouldn’t have been on the plane. They wouldn’t have gotten in a car crash. They wouldn’t have been in Seattle for the storm and Arizona wouldn’t have cheated. 

If she had gotten on that plane, if she had argued more with Arizona at the airport, if she had taken a minute to congratulate Arizona and tell her how proud of her she was, tell her how she knew she was brilliant and kind and doing an amazing thing, maybe everything would be different. 

But things weren’t different. She couldn’t go back and fix things. 

But Callie could try to avoid the same mistake again. And letting Penny go to New York without her felt the same as letting Arizona go to Africa. And why couldn’t Arizona see that? 

Arizona with all her many, many speeches about wanting Callie to be happy, about being thrilled Callie had moved on somehow didn’t seem to understand what Callie was trying to avoid again. 

Arizona used to be her happy ending, but now Penny was and she needed Arizona to understand that. 

She never wanted it to come to this. To lawyers and judges and dragging their friends into everything. But Arizona handed her a lawyer’s card and Callie had no choice. 

She had to do this. She had to keep her daughter with her and she was incredibly sorry she had to hurt Arizona in the process. 

Callie had to win, otherwise she was liable to lose everything, and she was so tired of losing. 

She kept her eyes averted as Arizona left, unwilling to see whatever look of hurt, betrayal, remorse would be present. This wasn’t about hurting Arizona, despite how it may seem. That was the last thing Callie wanted to do, but it seemed as if Arizona was quickly becoming collateral damage in Callie’s quest for happiness. 

Penny reached out for her, squeezing her hand gently and Callie let herself be comforted by her girlfriend. She didn’t do anything wrong moving on and Penny was wonderful. She was everything Callie wanted in a partner. 

Penny mumbled something to her that may have been an apology, or reassurance, Callie honestly wasn’t sure. 

She was terrified that Penny’s fumbling today had damaged their chances of winning custody. At least Arizona knew what grade Sofia was in. 

Callie felt herself scowling, felt the corners of her mouth pulling down and forced herself to school her expression. It wasn’t Penny’s fault. She had a lot going on and she had only known Sofia a few months. Maybe Callie should’ve introduced them sooner, maybe she shouldn’t have introduced them at all. 

She shook her head slightly at that line of thought. She loved Penny. She wanted to be with Penny. She and Sofia were going to go to New York and it would be, it would be awesome . 

A wave of nausea rose in Callie’s stomach as Arizona’s voice came to her mind unbidden. And not the Arizona who sat across the courtroom from her with sad, heartbreaking eyes, but the Arizona she had fallen in love with who smiled at Callie like she hung the moon and stars, the Arizona who called her Calliope and pulled her aside for quick kisses just to tell her she loved her, the Arizona who haunted her dreams some nights. 

“Calliope?” 

Callie bit her cheek. Fuck, she hated her name. 

“Calliope, are you okay?” 

Callie turned to face Penny, sighing slightly. Where had Meredith gone? She wanted a buffer between her and Penny for some reason. “What? Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” 

“I need to run back to the hospital, but we could grab dinner if you want?” 

See, Penny was sweet and thoughtful, and Callie loved her. “Um, maybe, I’m not sure. I’ll text you.” 

Penny smiled at her and Callie smiled back easily enough. Penny leaned in for a brief kiss before saying, “Text me, okay?” 

Callie hummed in response, already turning to her lawyer to see what her chances at winning all of this were. Michelle reassured her Owen and Penny and Bailey were all incredibly strong witnesses for her, and that Andrew’s contribution to Arizona’s case would be minimal. Michelle patted Callie’s hand and promised things would work out. 

“Thank you, Michelle, for everything, really.” 

“Don’t worry too much, Callie. Tomorrow will make our case for us.” Michelle offered a reassuring smile as she packed the last of her things away. “Get a good night’s rest.” 

The sight of Bailey lingering by the door, scowling slightly at Callie, distracted her slightly. “Hm, you too,” she said distractedly. Before Callie could reach her, Bailey disappeared out into the lobby.

She was very much aware of Bailey’s disapproval of Callie “chasing resident tail” or whatever she had said. But Bailey didn’t understand, she didn’t understand what Callie had gone through in the past, hell, decade. Sure, Bailey had been present for George, and Erica, and the car crash, and the plane crash, and Arizona’s cheating, but it hadn’t been her life falling to pieces. Bailey had no right to judge Callie for how she came back from all of that. 

Callie stepped out of the courthouse, the gentle warmth of spring a welcome change from the chill of the courtroom. She let herself have a moment in the sunshine, a moment of quiet and peace amongst all the madness. 

“Torres.” 

Callie’s head snapped to the side at the familiar, curt snap of her name, finding Bailey standing a few feet away, her arms folded over her chest, that same familiar scowl on her face. 

“Bailey,” she said warily, mirroring Bailey’s stance. 

“I need to talk to you.” 

“Okay… can this wait until I’m back at work?” 

“It’s not work related.” 

Callie’s heart sank into her stomach. A non-work related talk with Bailey had to be about Arizona. She could feel the disappointment practically dripping off of Bailey already. But what right did Bailey have to be disappointed in her? Bailey understood how custody and divorces worked. She remembered when Tucker and Bailey first separated and Bailey was constantly stressed about Little Tuck. How could Bailey judge her now for doing what she needed to do to keep her daughter with her? 

“Got it,” Callie bit out, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she surveyed Bailey. Callie had the utmost respect for Bailey professionally, but she had a terrible habit of claiming she wanted nothing to do with anyone’s personal life and then passing judgement on it. 

“Walk with me, Torres,” Bailey said as if she just wanted to discuss a patient. Callie trailed after Bailey down the stairs, discreetly glancing around for anyone else. Not that it would’ve looked suspicious or anything, but she just wasn’t in the mood for more of her colleagues looking down on her. How Callie had managed to go back to the girl with the fucked up life once again was a mystery to her; well, no, it wasn’t a mystery. Arizona called a lawyer and now they were here. 

Once they were some distance from the courthouse, and she and Bailey had fallen into step with each other, Callie asked, “So, what did you want to-” 

“Of all the people, of everyone, even after all you two have gone through, I never, never expected you to be the one… I never thought I’d hear you say Arizona was nothing to your little girl.” 

“Miranda, c’mon, you know that’s not what-” 

“I am speaking, Torres. And you’d do well to listen. As I was saying, I never thought I’d hear you say Arizona was nothing to Sofia. Others, sure, Mark Sloan, of course.” 

Callie’s hackles rose at the casual maligning of Mark’s character. He wasn’t a perfect man, but he was a wonderful father. “Look, Bailey, I get it if you’re on Arizona’s side, or you think I’m making a mistake, but Mark has nothing to do with this.” 

“He has everything to do with this!” Bailey snapped back, stopping abruptly and spinning to face Callie. “How you never realised or heard, or even how Arizona never told you… no mystery why Sloan wouldn’t own up to it, but I’ll tell you I lost a lot of respect for that man that day, and I didn’t have much to begin with.” 

“Bailey, enough. Mark’s been dead for years. Get to the point.” 

Bailey rolled her eyes a bit and Callie’s irritation rose. “Sloan is the point, or at least part of it. Did neither one of them really never tell you what happened after your accident? Before Sofia was born?” 

Callie shrugged one shoulder, fighting the urge to rub at the long healed, almost invisible scars on her chest. “All anyone ever told me was that they were both messes. Mark said he thought he was going to lose us both. Arizona never really, she never liked talking about it. Just like everything else,” she couldn’t help but add, bitterness seeping into her voice. 

“I don’t blame her. I’ve never seen Robbins like that. She doesn’t lose her cool, she’s always steady. But she was… she was haunted and broken.” Callie was more than familiar with that look on Arizona and it had spelled the doom of their marriage. “It was… she was heartbreak and grief embodied. You two may have fallen apart and destroyed each other,” and Callie had to bite her tongue to stop herself from saying Arizona was the one who destroyed them, “but there was never any doubt that at one point, Arizona loved you like you hung the moon and the stars and the sun.” 

“Bailey, no offence, but I don’t have time to listen to you talk about how much Arizona used to love me.” 

Bailey waved her concerns off, continuing on, “Yes, that’s not my point. My point is about Sloan and you and that little girl of yours. And now, I didn’t hear all of their argument, because I was busy saving your life. But I heard enough.” 

“Mark and Arizona argued all the time.” 

“And you never wondered why? You never understood why your girlfriend, your wife felt like she had to argue for a place with your ex-sex friend best friend?” 

Callie scowled at Bailey. “If there’s something you want to say, you have a minute. Otherwise, I have things to do.” 

“Fine, fine. I just thought you’d want to know that long before you told Arizona she was nothing to Sofia, Mark told her she was nothing, wasn’t anything to you or Sofia. He told her that you two were his family and she was just nothing. And you may hate her now, it certainly seems that way, but she loved you, and she loves Sofia more than anything, and you’ve just reiterated Sloan’s point tenfold and in front of all of your colleagues. You say that you see Blake next to you, and I respect that, Torres, really, I do. But all I’m asking is for you not to tell Arizona she’s nothing to Sofia. She deserves that much. Because for all her flaws, and I won’t deny them, she has always put Sofia first. I just thought you should know before you go much further and do something neither one of you will be able to come back from.” 

Callie felt like she was going to be sick. 

What was Bailey’s play bringing all this up? 

Had Mark actually said those things? He wouldn’t, right? He wouldn’t have told Arizona she was nothing. He knew how much she loved Arizona, how Arizona was the one she wanted a family with. He knew that. 

But he hadn’t liked it, her mind traitorously supplied. 

Mark and Arizona had always butted heads, never really agreed, especially before Sofia. Arizona continuously complained about Mark’s presence in their relationship, in their apartment, in their bed even, until she hadn’t anymore and Callie had been entirely grateful for that. Because the last thing she wanted to do was be forced to choose between Mark and Arizona, because she doubted Arizona would’ve liked her choice. 

Callie shook her head slightly. That wasn’t fair. When they were happy, when they were in love, before everything, Callie would’ve chosen Arizona. 

Bailey was right about one thing at least. They had loved each other at one point. And she would’ve chosen Arizona. 

But Arizona never told her. 

After the car accident, Arizona withdrew in on herself and threw herself into taking care of Callie and Sofia. They just didn’t talk about it. They didn’t talk about what they had been arguing about. They didn’t talk about the less than subtle tear tracks on Arizona’s cheeks and her red-rimmed eyes. They didn’t talk about the cut on Arizona’s forehead that scared poorly because clearly Arizona or maybe Alex had stitched it up. They didn’t talk about Arizona’s nightmares and how she cried out for Callie. 

Just like everything else, they didn’t talk about it. 

They didn’t talk about anything until it was too late and then talking wasn’t worth a thing. 

Bailey offered up a sad sort of smile that did little to soothe any of Callie’s tumultuous emotions. She didn’t say another word as she turned and headed back towards the courthouse parking lot. 

But Callie felt frozen, as if she couldn’t move an inch. And on some level, she didn’t know what Bailey’s revelation changed, she just knew it changed things. Because Arizona had never been nothing, not to her, and certainly not to Sofia. Mark wouldn’t have said that, he couldn’t have. And he and Arizona couldn’t have kept an argument like that secret, would they have? 

She wanted to say that they couldn’t, but Arizona kept secrets and half truths and sad little smiles that Callie noticed and never asked about. Because there wouldn’t be any point, that’s what she always told herself. Arizona wasn’t going to tell her, she wasn’t going to open up and share something with Callie, and certainly not now. 

But Mark, Mark wasn’t a liar. Rather the opposite, Mark was all blurted out opinions and oversharing and honest to a fault. Mark wouldn’t have kept that sort of secret for Arizona. 

Except who did that protect? 

“Who started the fight?” Callie asked, barely able to look Bailey in the eye, choosing instead to stare off in the distance. 

Bailey frowned and Callie felt like she was two inches tall. “Is that really important to you, Torres? That’s what you’ve taken from what I said?” 

“Bailey, c’mon….” 

“I don’t know who started it, like I said, I was busy saving your life. But I do know what they were fighting about – saving Sofia. Arizona wanted to save Sofia, even if it meant losing you because that was what you would’ve wanted; Mark wanted to save you because, as he so delicately put it, you two could always screw again,” Bailey scoffed, disdain dripping from her tone. “I’ve never forgotten that. You were dying, Arizona was trying to save your daughter, and Sloan said you two could screw again. And Arizona never told you any of this, maybe you should think about why in between figuring out a better way to settle your custody agreement than the current path. Because, Torres, Callie , I’ve known you for a long time, I’ve never known you to be cruel like this, but I don’t think you’ll be able to come back from this with Robbins. And is that how you want Sofia to grow up?” 

Callie chewed the inside of her cheek, unsure how to even answer that question. When she had thought about Sofia’s childhood, this was never how she thought things would be. Even after the divorce, she had never thought it would come to this. She and Arizona had been good, healthy co-parents for years until now. And now, now things were bad and was this going to damage Sofia? 

Bailey cleared her throat, a frustratingly knowing look in her eye. With arms crossed over her chest, Bailey said, “You have a lot to think about. And I have a lot of real work to do.” 

Callie nodded absently, her mind a million miles away. She was vaguely aware of the general bustle of people outside the courthouse, but it was all just white noise. 

Mere minutes ago, she had felt so assured, so confident in her choices, even in the face of the clear devastation she was causing for Arizona. She wasn’t going to lose Penny or Sofia. She was going to move to New York and everything would be okay, no, not just okay, great. 

But maybe Bailey was right. Maybe she had gone too far, pushed too hard, let her lawyer hit Arizona below the belt. But she didn’t think Arizona was nothing, she had never thought that. She knew how important Arizona was. How important she was to Sofia. Not to her. Arizona wasn’t important to her anymore. 

Even in her own head, that sounded weak. 

She didn’t care about Arizona, no more than any normal co-parent, ex-wife at least. She hadn’t cared about George, hadn’t spent much energy or mental bandwidth on him after their divorce and everything. Even after the initial shock and mourning after his death, she hadn’t thought much about George in years. 

Not that she wanted Arizona dead. Not at all. Absolutely not.

She just…. 

She didn’t understand how Arizona was still so central to everything in her life. No matter what she said, where she went, Arizona was somehow in the middle of everything. She thought when they got divorced, that it would be more like her relationship with George. 

She thought they’d be polite co-workers and co-parents and exchange pleasantries. And on the surface, that was what they were before all of this. They had reached some strange sort of equilibrium. On the surface. 

Internally, Callie felt perpetually off-balance. 

She had moved on. She was moving on. She had Penny. 

Maybe it was that at one point, Callie thought Arizona was it. She hadn’t thought she’d have to find someone else. She had been happy. They had been happy. 

Hadn’t they? 

Callie scrubbed a hand over her face. 

Her phone buzzed in her bag. Fishing it out of her purse, she groaned. That was probably not the appropriate response to her girlfriend calling her. But on so many different levels, she did not want to see Penny. 

For starters, Penny’s testimony may have set her case back and Callie didn’t trust herself not to lash out about that. Penny knew how important this was, and she still made a fool of herself. No, that was too harsh. Penny tried her best. She barely knew Sofia.

Callie let herself wander away from the courthouse, a sudden almost itchiness on her skin. Maybe if she just wore herself out, she could go home and face Penny. 

And Sofia was with Arizona, so there wasn’t even a buffer at home. 

Was that a bad sign? That she wanted her kid to be a buffer for her girlfriend? 

That line of thought was enough to give Callie the beginnings of a headache and the intense need for a drink. 

As if sent by someone above, Callie found herself standing in front of a bar advertising some sort of deal on margaritas. It was almost too easy to drop herself in a barstool and order. 

A few people in the distinct Seattle uniform of extreme business casual chatted at a high top behind her in the otherwise quiet bar. 

“Your drink, ma’am.” 

“What? Oh, God, don’t tell me I look like a ma’am.” 

The bartender slid her drink to her, a bemused expression on his face. “Just being polite, ma’am.” 

“I’ll give you a twenty to never call me ma’am again.” 

The bartender shrugged and Callie forked over a twenty. “Thanks, boss.” 

“Better, not great, but better than ma’am. Ma’am makes me think of my mother, and believe me, I do not have the energy to deal with my mother right now.” 

“Bad day?” 

Callie scoffed, tipping back her drink. “Bad five years.” She pushed her empty glass back to the bartender, nodding for another drink. 

The bartender stepped away and Callie’s phone buzzed again. Penny, again. This time texting her to offer to meet somewhere for dinner. God, why was she so nice ? 

Callie tried to slow herself down a bit on her second drink, but Penny’s texting spurred her on. 

The bartender, bless him, already had a fresh drink ready for her by the time she set her phone on silent. 

“So, I have to ask, out of professional curiosity, how does someone have a bad five years?” 

“Professional curiosity?” She asked. The bartender shrugged. “Whatever. Uh, for starters, my wife was in a plane crash.” 

“And she died?” 

“No, no, she didn’t.” 

“You know, most people tend to be happy when their loved ones survive extreme accidents.” 

Callie scowled at him. “I was, I am happy she survived.” 

“You should work on that. The last thing you’d want is for your wife to think you wished she was dead or something.” 

“Ex-wife.” 

“Huh?” 

“She’s my ex-wife.” 

“Ah, I see. So maybe you do wish her dead?” 

“What? No, absolutely not. Arizona’s… well, she’s Arizona. And we’re obviously not together anymore, but I would never wish her dead. Why would you even say that?” 

The bartender held up his hands in placation. “You seem upset. Ex-wife seems like a natural place to start. Most people tend to be upset about their exes. You would be shocked how many people complain about their exes to me, and how many of them wish them dead in some way or another.” 

“I don’t…. Arizona’s a pain in the ass sometimes, but I wouldn’t….”  Callie trailed off, unable to find the appropriate words. If Arizona had died in the crash… it was a possibility Callie had shoved into the furthest recesses of her mind. That awful night at the gala frequently surfaced, when Callie had told donors she was a widow, and every time it turned her stomach. 

Arizona may frustrate and irritate and hurt her in so many different ways, but she was also big enough to recognize that she was so important in so many ways. 

“She’s… she’s not nothing,” Callie said, more to herself than the bartender. Bailey’s words lingered in her mind, an unfortunate echoing pattern. “We have a kid, um, Sofia. She’s… she’s a good mom, I really do think that, despite what she may think. We’re actually, well, in the middle of a custody battle because I want to move to New York with my girlfriend. Because I didn’t move to Africa with Arizona. So I’m moving to New York with Penny.” 

“You sound really excited about moving to New York.” 

Callie narrowed her eyes at the bartender. Who was he to say she wasn’t excited about New York? She was thrilled about New York. She loved living in New York ages ago. Admittedly, she had been in her twenties and in college, and now she was decidedly not in her twenties anymore. But she hadn’t changed that much. And Penny was in her twenties… wasn’t she? Callie was pretty sure she was, or had she had a birthday? When was Penny’s birthday exactly? Wasn’t it near Arizona’s? 

Callie shook her head, physically clearing her thoughts. “I am. Super excited .” 

“You should probably practise saying that a few more times, and personally, I’d tone down the sarcasm. Unless you want to seem super not excited.” 

The bartender’s inflection sounded far too much like Arizona’s, dripping with amusement and condescension and an inside joke only Arizona knew. That was more than enough to inspire Callie to finish off the dregs of her drink. 

Was this irresponsible? She had a fleeting thought that if Arizona’s lawyer found out about this day drinking, they could practically crucify her on the stand. Not that she had Sofia tonight, but still day drinking in the middle of the week, in the middle of one of the most important weeks of her life was probably damning. 

That’s what they were going to say about Arizona at least. That’s what they had said about her already. 

Callie knew what her lawyers planned to ask Richard Webber tomorrow. She knew what they planned to imply and openly say. 

A wave of nausea that she was eighty-five percent certain wasn’t to do with the alcohol surfaced. 

Arizona probably would never forgive her for what was planned. 

Callie wasn’t trying to be cruel, she was just trying to win. 

The small, almost guilty part of her chimed in that Arizona would forgive her. Because Arizona always forgave her, always took the burden on her own shoulders, always shielded Callie from everything, often to her own detriment. 

Arizona caved. 

She didn’t bail like she had offered all those years ago, words that in retrospect Callie should’ve known were Mark’s, not Arizona’s. 

She caved and folded and gave into Callie until she had lost too much, had become too broken and then there was nothing left for her. 

And that was what Callie had assumed would have happened with the custody argument. Arizona would put up a bit of resistance, only for a little while, just enough for Callie to argue with her. And then eventually, inevitably, she would fold and tell Callie to take Sofia and be happy. She would give up and smile that sad, knowing little smile of hers, and walk away. 

Arizona was nothing if not consistent. 

She wasn’t all that much of a fighter, at least not where Callie was concerned. 

Callie hadn’t expected this all to resort to lawyers and judges and witnesses. She had expected Arizona to tuck her chin against her chest, inhale sharply as if breathing hurt her, smile sadly at Callie and tell her she won. 

Maybe that was cruel or childish of Callie. 

It probably was. 

But, God, Callie was so tired of losing. And she couldn’t lose Sofia. She couldn’t lose her daughter, Mark’s daughter. 

Callie blinked back sharp, painful tears. 

Sofia was Arizona’s daughter too. 

Arizona wasn’t nothing, certainly not to Sofia. 

She was her Mama. She made her heart beat. She saved her life. She held her every night until she fell out of the sky. She fought and came back for Sofia. She put Sofia above everything else. 

Callie curled her hands into fists atop her thighs, desperate to regain some control over herself. 

“Do you think I’m doing the wrong thing?” 

“Look, boss, we met like max an hour ago. I’m not sure if I’m the person you should be asking for absolution.” 

Was that what Callie wanted? Absolution? Forgiveness? Permission? Vindication? 

Everything happened so quickly. 

Arizona got a lawyer. 

Arizona got a lawyer and barely fought back. 

Arizona got a lawyer and Callie got all their friends and co-workers to say Arizona was a workaholic, was unsuitable to raise Sofia on her own. 

Arizona got a lawyer and Callie’s lawyers planned to drag her dating history in front of everyone and accuse her of essentially sleeping around. 

Callie could’ve stopped them from digging. She could’ve told them to leave that aspect of Arizona’s life alone. But she didn’t. Because she was mad and she was scared she was going to lose. She was still scared she might lose. 

She knew Arizona barely really dated since the divorce. She knew she shouldn’t be paying attention. She told herself it was because of Sofia that she cared. But she always listened out for the near constant swirl of gossip around Arizona. 

On the days when Arizona pissed her off and Callie wanted nothing more than to pick a fight and rehash every thing for the umpteenth time, the uncharitable, hurt part of Callie liked to say Arizona had gotten enough on the side of their marriage. Arizona didn’t need to date because it wasn’t as if she had been monogamous for their marriage. Arizona didn’t deserve to date, to be in a relationship because she cheated. On those days, that felt like a strange balm for Callie’s lingering guilt, lingering anger. 

But then, inevitably, she felt guilty about that. Because Arizona deserved to be happy too. Arizona didn’t deserve to be alone. 

The part of Callie that would always care for Arizona on some level always latched on to that. 

Because Callie knew better than anyone, probably better than anyone living at least, how deeply lonely Arizona was most of the time. 

She knew no one who knew Arizona would ever think of her that way, but Callie knew better. She knew Arizona better. 

She knew that Arizona took a long time to trust and had decided decades ago that most of the time it wasn’t worth trying beyond the surface level. She knew Arizona preferred to stay quiet and withdrew quickly. She knew the smiling and laughing and butterflies and roller shoes had always been a facade. 

She knew just how lonely Arizona could be, and that was never what she wanted for her. 

Callie never could decide if she was surprised or not that Arizona hadn’t really dated, had remained single in the years since the divorce. She knew Arizona hadn’t exactly had many long-term, serious relationships before theirs. Unlike Callie, Arizona didn’t jump from serious relationship to serious relationship. And once upon a time, Callie had liked that. She liked knowing that she was special to Arizona in some way. 

But that was a long time ago. 

“I learned something today. Something from a long time ago, involving someone who died, someone who I love, who died. Someone who I love and who died, who hurt someone who I used to love. Something that I don’t think I was ever supposed to know,” Callie said, more to her magically refilled glass than the bartender. “Mark wasn’t… he wasn’t a bad guy. He was my best friend, he was my person. He was the only one who didn’t leave me, didn’t hurt me. We were each other’s person through everything. It was always the two of us. And Arizona… I think she may have actually hated him at some points. I think she really might have. And I told her to get over it because she had… was hot.” 

“I’m sorry your friend died,” the bartender offered, “Even if he hurt someone you used to love, no one ever really can move on from losing someone that important.” 

“He… he said she was nothing…. He said she was nothing to me or Sofia. How could he? How could he say that and then hide it from me? How could Arizona?” 

The bartender shrugged, clearly no longer able to follow Callie’s train of thought. 

Callie dropped her head into her hands. What was she doing? Seriously, on every level, what was she doing? 

How was she supposed to come back from this? 

“Come back from what?” 

“What?” 

“You asked how you were supposed to come back from this. What’s this?” He waved a hand vaguely around. 

“What… oh, uh, huh, I’m not entirely sure. The custody battle? This fight from years ago that I just found out about? My divorces? That’s right, I said divorces plural. I’m a two time divorcee. I’ve had a husband cheat on me and leave me. And a wife cheat on me and leave me. How’s that for the bisexual experience? Well, I guess technically, I left her. But the point still stands.” 

“Didn’t you say you have a girlfriend?” 

“What?” Callie blinked a few times. “Oh, yeah, Penny.” 

“That’s a name?” 

“It’s short for Penelope.” 

“Huh, interesting. But yeah, you’ve got a girlfriend, that’s a positive thing.” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. She’s… nice.” 

“If my girlfriend ever just said I was ‘nice’, I’d assume she was either cheating on me, thinking of cheating on me, or just plain didn’t like me that much.” He shrugged, throwing a towel halfway over his shoulder. “Just for those of us keeping track at home, you’re moving to New York with your girlfriend, both of which you’ve been somewhat unenthusiastic about since I’ve known you. And you’re in the middle of a custody battle with your ex-wife, who you definitely don’t wish dead. Is that about right?” 

Callie tipped her head to the side, considering his words. “Yeah, that’s pretty accurate. Like I said, my life is a mess.” 

“If you could do one thing to fix things, what would you do?” 

Callie looked around the bar as if the vaguely corporate bar decorations would hold the answers to her various problems. As it turned out, it did not. 

“I don’t… I don’t know. Part of me just wants to yell at Mark.” 

“So do that.” 

“Mark’s dead.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, so I can’t yell at him, despite how much I want to. If I had known… if anyone, if Arizona had told me… I would’ve torn him a new one. What he said, that Arizona’s nothing, that…. I’m just so angry at him and he’s dead and I can’t yell at him. And part of me wants to yell at Arizona because she’s not dead and she didn’t tell me but I can’t yell at her either, I’m not even supposed to talk to her because we’re in the middle of fighting over our daughter so I can move to New York, which sounded like a good idea at the time because I let Arizona go to Africa without me and it ruined us and I’m so tired of losing and I’m tired of hurting Arizona because we may be over but she’s still Arizona.” 

“I think you might have your answer there.” 

Before Callie could ask more questions, he walked down the bar towards new customers, who Callie could only assume had less disastrous lives than her. 

She could always go to Mark’s grave and yell at him. Maybe that would make her feel better. Or it would just make her feel like a shitty person for yelling at her dead best friend. And she really couldn’t handle feeling like a worse person right now. 

Maybe she should just go home and hope Penny was either still at work or would be fine with Callie going straight to bed. She was almost positive Penny would have questions or concerns about her being drunk at, Callie checked her watch, well, actually it was past seven so that was somewhat acceptable. Penny still probably would have questions. And Callie would not have answers. At least, not answers that Penny would find acceptable. 

The last thing Callie wanted was to hurt Penny. And she knew just how good she was at hurting her. Penny, unlike Arizona, actually bothered to communicate with her when she did something that upset her. Sure, it sometimes took a little while, but Callie didn’t have to drag it out of her like she did with Arizona. 

In enough ways that it maybe should have been a red flag for Callie, Penny was similar to Arizona, but only in the slightly surface level ways. Someone who casually knew both of them might say they had similar traits, similar backgrounds. 

But to Callie, they were night and day. Penny was easy; Arizona was frustratingly complicated. Penny shared with her; Arizona hid things like they were state secrets. Penny laughed at Callie’s jokes even when she didn’t understand; Arizona made Callie laugh. Penny always let Callie initiate; Arizona pulled Callie into on-call rooms to…. 

“Fuck,” she muttered under her breath. What was wrong with her? She loved Penny. Penny was her happy ending. 

For some ungodly reason, Arizona’s smile surfaced in her mind. Not that sad one she had been sporting throughout the custody battle. Or the half-hearted smile that seemed to be her go-to since the divorce. 

No, it was her favourite Arizona smile- no, she didn’t have a favourite smile from her ex-wife, that would be ridiculous. But what had been her favourite when they were together. The cheeky one with her dimples and her bright eyes, the one she used when she called her “Calliope”, the one she had at their wedding. 

Callie dragged a hand through her hair in an attempt to rid her thoughts of Arizona’s smile. She shouldn’t be thinking about Arizona. 

This was all Bailey’s fault. Bailey was the one who cornered her and was talking about how Arizona used to love her and how she should think about Arizona. 

And now she was thinking about Arizona and she didn’t want to think about Arizona. Arizona was her ex-wife, her ex-wife who was suing her for custody. She didn’t want to think about Arizona, and how she and Mark argued, and how Bailey accused her of saying Arizona was nothing to Sofia. 

She wasn’t doing that, was she? 

Callie pushed herself out of the barstool, swaying ever so slightly before catching herself on the edge of the bar. 

The bartender sidled over to her as he said, “Heading out, boss?” 

“Yeah, I think… actually, I don’t know what I’m thinking, but I think I have somewhere I need to be.” Callie fumbled for her wallet, eventually passing him a card. She wasn’t sure where she was going to go, probably not back home to Penny, but like she said, she felt like she had somewhere she needed to be. 

“Have a good one, boss. I hope you figure things out.” 

Halfway to the door, Callie turned back to the bartender. “Hey, I don’t think I caught your name.” 

“Name’s Tim.” 

Callie often thought the universe was playing a joke on her. And like always, she didn’t find it very funny. 

Without another word, she stepped out onto the street, narrowly avoiding crashing into some tech bro on the phone. The pleasant spring air felt almost anti-climatic. Her mood and circumstance felt more suited to grey skies and drizzling rain. She tipped her chin up as if that would cause rain to fall, but the skies were just beginning to turn towards purple. 

She wandered in no particular direction, completely uncertain where her final destination was. 

At some point, the skyscrapers disappeared, giving way to hills and family homes as the sky finally started to turn dark. 

Her feet started to ache at some point, the shoes she wore to court far from ideal for an evening stroll. She fleetingly thought that Arizona probably couldn’t do this anymore, which was a pity because they used to always go on walks together after their dates. 

Which also wasn’t important because she and Arizona didn’t go on dates anymore. 

Callie momentarily thought about cutting over a few streets for a burger, but upon second thought, she wasn’t sure if food would agree with her. Ever since she and Bailey spoke, she alternated between nausea and the need for a drink. She was pretty sure she had enough to drink at this point. 

Instead, she continued on her current path, which really wasn’t in any particular direction as far as she was aware. 

Well, at least she wasn’t aware until she nearly tripped over her own feet at the sight of a familiar house. 

What did it say about her that she walked to Arizona’s? 

It made sense on some level, or at least that’s what Callie told herself. She had been thinking about everything Bailey told her and she couldn’t exactly talk to Mark so she naturally went to Arizona. 

She had to know more about the fight Bailey told her about. She had to understand what had been hidden from her for years. She had to know she wasn’t the one repeating Mark’s mistakes. 

Callie stared at her own hand, her fingers hovering centimetres from the doorbell. Before she rang the doorbell, she remembered Arizona had Sofia, who was a notoriously light sleeper. She’d probably tear Arizona’s head off if she came over late at night and rang the doorbell.  

At a loss, Callie slumped down on the stairs, wincing at the cold even through her clothes. 

Maybe if she just called Arizona, and explained the situation? 

Callie leaned against the stairs as she called Arizona’s cell, craning her neck as if she’d be able to see into the house. 

“ You’ve reached Dr Arizona Robbins, please leave a message after the beep. If this is an emergenc- ” 

“C’mon, Arizona, you’re supposed to answer your freakin’ phone,” Callie grumbled to herself. She re-dialed Arizona. 

“ You’ve reached Dr Arizona Robbins, please leave a mes- ” 

“ You’ve reached Dr Arizo- ” 

“ You’ve- ” 

Callie cursed under her breath before calling Arizona again. 

“ Callie, what is going on? We’re not supposed to be talking. ” 

“You should probably answer your phone.” 

“ I have caller id. I knew it was you. Again, we’re not supposed to be talking, so what is so urgent? ” 

“Come outside.” 

“ What? ” 

“I think that’s normally my line.” 

“ Are you drunk? ” 

“Just… just come outside.” 

There was some shuffling on the other end of the line before Arizona said, “Are you… Callie, what are you doing on my front step?” The front door opened and Callie’s head snapped up. “Callie.” Arizona stood in the doorway, her arms folded over her chest, her expression closed. “What are you doing here?” 

“I don’t think you’re nothing.” 

If it had been anyone else, Callie wouldn’t have noticed a reaction. But this was Arizona and Callie knew her better than anyone. And Arizona reacted. Arizona reacted and flinched so minutely and pain flashed across her expression. 

“Callie,” she said, clipped and stiff. “What are you doing here?” Arizona repeated, leaning slightly against the doorway as if to put some distance between herself and Callie. “It’s nearly ten. We have court tomorrow. You’re… you’re drunk.” 

“I’m not, I’m not drunk,” Callie said, not even convincing herself. “I may have had a few drinks. I needed a few drinks after Bailey yelled at me. Oh yeah, Bailey yelled at me. And told me things. Lots of things, upsetting things. Things that apparently everyone’s been keeping from me for years. Things that you and Mark kept from me. I thought you two were friends, or was that just a lie to make me happy? And why did I have to find out from Bailey of all people about this?” 

Arizona’s eyebrows creased and Callie wanted to touch the little line that formed. “What are you talking about? What did Bailey tell you? And why are you talking about Mark?” 

Callie blinked a few times, trying to refocus. “Bailey told me about the fight you and Mark had. After the car crash,” Callie clarified, because it wasn’t as if Mark and Arizona didn’t fight on a regular basis. 

“I… I… I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Arizona, c’mon, Bailey already told me. Why are you still trying to cover this up?” 

“Why do you even care? It happened years ago. I apologised, Mark apologised. Mark’s dead, we’re divorced. You’ve made your opinions on me very clear.” 

Callie frowned, unable to help herself. “I haven’t… that’s not the point, the point is that you and Mark fought and no one told me.” 

“You were kind of busy at the time, y’know, fighting for your life. And again, it happened years ago. I don’t know what you want me to say.” 

“What I always want you to say,” Callie said, throwing her hands up in the air, “the truth. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.” 

“Good thing we’re not together anymore then.” 

“Arizona.” 

Arizona sighed heavily, looking anywhere but Callie. There was a weariness to Arizona that Callie was entirely unfamiliar with. She looked exhausted and worn. Like she may fall over at any moment. Like the weight of the world had been on her shoulders for too long. 

With a gingerness that never seemed to suit her, Arizona limped to the stairs to join Callie, wincing slightly as she stretched her prosthetic out. 

“Bailey shouldn’t have said anything,” Arizona said softly. “It wasn’t her place.” 

“You should’ve told me. You were my wife.” 

“Technically, I was your girlfriend then.” 

“You were my fiancée. You proposed.” Arizona snorted and a strange, yet familiar warmth spread through Callie’s chest. “And you should’ve told me.” 

“Why?” Arizona asked and it sounded like a genuine question, not just Arizona being combative. 

Callie turned slightly to look at her. “I… because we were together and from what Bailey’s told me, it was important.” Callie exhaled a shaky breath. “It’s… Arizona, you know that I don’t think that. I know you’re a good mom. I know you’re Sofia’s mom.” Arizona made a soft scoffing noise, refusing to even look in Callie’s direction. “Maybe you don’t believe me, but it’s true. And I only know what Bailey told me, but I don’t agree with what Mark said.” 

“Sure you don’t, Callie. Are we done then?” 

Arizona shifted as if she were going to stand to her feet, and in a moment of panic, Callie reached out and grabbed her wrist. Callie stared down at her hand, fingers wrapped around Arizona’s wrist. She couldn’t even remember the last time they had touched each other. 

“Callie,” Arizona said, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Arizona, please, I, I need to know. Please. It’s important.” Maybe it was manipulative. Callie knew Arizona folded for her almost every time. She knew she rarely said no. 

Arizona’s expression shifted and Callie knew she had folded once again. 

“Can we at least move to the sofa? I won’t be able to move if we stay on the step.” 

Callie nodded, deeply aware of the fact that Arizona apparently didn’t want her in her home. She couldn’t really blame her. She wasn’t sure if before today she’d really want Arizona in her home either. 

Callie offered Arizona a hand, which she pointedly ignored and Callie tried not to take that personally. She also tried to not take Arizona sitting on the furthest possible edge from her personally either. Even all these years later, it felt entirely foreign that she and Arizona could exist as such separate beings, that they really didn’t interact or mean much to each other after everything. 

Arizona’s fingers tapped a random rhythm into her thigh, a rhythm Callie had once jokingly called her cigarette song. She always knew when Arizona wanted a cigarette, when she thought she needed one to compensate. 

Did Arizona still smoke? She wasn’t actually sure anymore. 

Callie knew Arizona well enough to know that she’d need to prompt her and coax her and drag it out of her. Arizona would happily sit in silence and ignore any idea of rehashing their past. 

“So….”

“What did Bailey say?” 

“She said she didn’t hear much of it since she was ‘busy saving your life, Torres,’” Callie said in a poor imitation of Bailey, hoping to at least drag a smile out of Arizona. But Arizona still looked almost concerningly pale and drawn, like she was trapped back in her own memories. Callie cleared her throat, dragging her fingers through her hair for lack of anything better to do. “She said you two were arguing over what to do, and, and Mark said you weren’t anything to me or Sofia, and something about Mark and me sleeping together?” 

Callie wasn’t sure what she expected Arizona’s response to be, but a cold, harsh laugh wasn’t it. 

“Yeah, uh, yeah, sounds accurate.” Arizona stared off in the distance, a hard set to her jaw. “We both said harsh things, things we didn’t mean. I think I called Mark a sperm donor or something. But I was… you were dying and it was my fault and Mark was being, well, being all Mark-like. ‘I’m the father! This is my family!’ and beating his chest. And you were dying and Sofia was dying and I was scared,” Arizona rushed out and she sounded so small it hurt Callie’s heart. 

“Arizona….” 

“No, don’t do that. I don’t want your pity. I don’t need it. It was a long time. I’m over it.” 

“You don’t seem over it. And I wasn’t going to pity you. I wanted to say Mark shouldn’t have said that, and you were never nothing.” 

Arizona hummed in response. 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” 

“Would you have believed me?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Exactly what it sounds like. Would you have honestly believed me, honestly have picked my side over Mark’s? Because, and I don’t know how to break this to you, Callie, but you have never been on my side, never thought about how your actions impact me except when it’s convenient for you.” And Callie was fairly certain that last dig was not about Mark. 

“Of course, I would have! I still do. I believe you now, don’t I?” 

“Sure, fine, whatever.” 

“Arizona, c’mon, we were together. We were in love, getting married, starting a family. Of course, I would have believed you, picked your side over Mark. He shouldn’t have said any of that. He was in the wrong, is that what you need to hear? That I wouldn’t have let it slide with Mark back then? What do you want me to do, go yell at his freaking grave?” 

Arizona’s shoulders curled up defensively and Callie knew she had made an error. Arizona never responded well to raised voices and arguing. 

“Nope, I’m fine. I’ve been fine for years. I made my peace with it a long time ago. It’s fine.” 

“Yeah, you seem really fine.” 

“Have you ever considered that maybe that’s because I’m sitting here on my porch with my drunk ex instead of spending time with our daughter before you take her across the country and I never see her again? Before you replace me with your stupid perfect girlfriend?”

“Hey, Penny has nothing to do-” 

“-Because I was always just a placeholder, right? Just the only one dumb enough to go along with everything when anyone else would’ve been smart enough to run as far away as possible. The only one willing to third wheel, and be second choice, and agree with everything no matter what. Because I was so in love with you, Callie, so in love with you that I ignored so much. Because I was so afraid of losing you that I never said anything because I couldn’t ask you to make a choice, a choice that I knew I would lose.” 

 “Arizona….” 

“Just, just don’t. There’s no point in any of this. No point at all. Mark is dead. We’re divorced. You and Sofia are moving to New York. It’s fine.” 

“Sofia’s moving isn’t set in stone-” 

“It might as well be. I know I’m going to lose. You wanna know how I know? Because I all do is lose. And every time, every time I think I’ve lost too much, taken too many losses, it just happens again. And honestly, Callie, I’m happy for you. I’m glad that you’ve finally found the person who makes you the happiest you’ve ever been, I’m glad you found your person. I just, I just wish it didn’t always have to come at my cost. For once, it’d be nice not to lose everything again.” 

“You’re not the only one who’s lost things.” 

“Of course not,” Arizona laughed and Callie hated it. “How could I ever forget I’m the bad guy in your story? The one who ruined everything, who cheated, who broke your heart. I’m well aware. I understand, believe you me. And now, here I am again, trying to ruin your happy ending. And I am sorry for that. I just… I can’t lose Sofia too. I couldn’t let her go without a fight, not like….” Arizona trailed off, her cheeks colouring. 

Callie could read between the lines. Not like Callie. Not like how Arizona let Callie walk away without a fight. But at that point, there had been so much fighting, so much painful, pointless fighting, would it have done anything? 

“You weren’t a placeholder,” Callie finally said after too many moments of silence. “We were in love. You were supposed to be my happy ending. You were supposed to be it for me.” Callie’s words hung in the air between them. “I know you never believed that I loved you differently from, what was it you said, George or Mark or Erica or the girl at the coffee cart?” Callie threw Arizona’s words from years ago back at her. “You were, are always different. I have never loved anyone the way I loved you, and I never will. It was only ever you, Arizona.” 

Out of the corner of her eye, she swore she saw Arizona’s shoulders shake a bit with a suppressed sob. Callie started to reach for her, but Arizona snapped, “Don’t. Just don’t.” Arizona turned to look at her, her eyes watery and red rimmed. “Is this some sort of strategy?” 

“What?” 

“Some sort of ploy to get me to give you custody, to give up.” 

“What? No, of course not. I wouldn’t-” 

“Then why?” Arizona asked, her voice bordering on the hysterical. “Why drag all of this up, me and Mark and us and everything? Why? Just so you can confirm that you’re the better between us, that I’m pathetic.” 

“Arizona, I wouldn’t, that’s not what I-” 

“God, Callie, are you ever going to let me go? Or is this just fun for you?” 

In a not unusual occurrence for Callie in all the years she had known Arizona, she couldn’t follow Arizona’s trail of thought. Arizona processed so much internally, Callie sometimes had a hard time following her when she was only getting ten percent of what was happening for Arizona. 

“Arizona, I-” 

“You can’t come here, on this night of all nights, and talk to me about how you would’ve chosen me over Mark and how you can’t love anyone the way you loved me. Because you’re leaving and taking everything and I’ll still be broken. You made your choices. You’re going to go to New York and be happy with Penny.” 

Callie wiped at her cheeks, surprised by the tears that escaped. “Do you even know why I’m going to New York?” 

“Because of me, I assume. Because you can’t-” 

“Yes, because of you. Because I didn’t follow you, because I didn’t go to Africa with you and we never recovered from that. Everything that happened after was because of that. Because I didn’t fight hard enough either to follow you, or to ask you to stay. And by the time you came home, I ruined everything. Not that you’d ever admit it because you’d rather be a martyr. But I know it’s true. You love Sofia, she’s your daughter, but you can’t tell me on some level you don’t resent me.” 

“Callie-” 

“No, you got to talk, now I get to talk. I deluded myself into thinking you and Mark were fine, but clearly you weren’t and you were just protecting me, like always. God, Arizona, we were married and you thought I wouldn’t choose you. How did we ever even have a chance in our marriage if you always thought I was going to put someone else first? Were we just always doomed?” 

“Callie, I don’t… I don’t know. It wasn’t your fault. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be.” 

“No, no, I can’t believe that.” 

“Believe what? That it wasn’t your fault?” 

Callie shook her head, and it was as if everything she had bottled up for years was just spilling out. “That we weren’t meant to be.” Arizona let out a noise that may have been a whimper. “I can’t love anyone like I loved you. Everyone compares to you.” 

“Callie, you have Pen-” 

Callie stood to her feet abruptly, a rush of nervous energy. “No, no, everyone compares to you, and no one matches you. So no, I can’t believe that we weren’t meant to be because if that were true, this wouldn’t be so hard.” 

“You left. You walked away.” 

“Because we were killing ourselves! We were destroying each other! Someone had to do something-” 

“And that something was fucking me and leaving me?” 

“God, I didn’t mean to do it like that. I was trying to do the right thing.” 

“Yeah, well, you failed-” 

“I was trying to do the right thing because I loved you so much it hurt-” 

“Loving me hurt you? Of course it did, because everything I do hurts you.” 

“That’s not, I’m not saying that. I, we were stuck. We were stuck and hurting and someone needed to do something. It wasn’t supposed to be like this-” 

“You left! We got divorced, what did you think would happen?” 

Callie turned back to Arizona sharply. “I thought you’d follow me!” 

Arizona reeled back as if Callie slapped her. “Follow you? God, Callie, do you ever even listen to yourself? You walked away. You made it very clear you were done. I can’t always chase you. I can’t take anymore losses. I barely survived and I was supposed to chase you?” 

“Arizona, that’s not-” 

“I can’t even believe you. I think you should go.” 

“No.” 

“Callie.” 

“No, I’m not, I can’t walk away now. I can’t walk away because I’m terrified that when I walk away, that’ll be it. We’ll be done.” 

“We’ve been done for a while now.” 

“That’s a lie and we both know it.” 

“Is it though? You moved on. You fell in love with someone else. That seems incredibly final in my opinion.” 

Callie leaned against the railing, watching Arizona carefully. While so much of her demeanour was closed off, there was something that Callie was pretty sure was hope in her eyes. And she wasn’t sure if that broke her heart or spurred her on. 

“She’s not you.” 

“Callie, please don’t do this.” 

“She’s not you and no one ever will be. And maybe we’re too late. Maybe we had our chance and we missed it. Maybe there’s nothing left for us. I’ve done a lot of thinking tonight, mainly about you. And no matter what I did, it was always you. Worrying about you, wondering where you were, what you were thinking. And I want a chance to do it right,” as she spoke, Callie almost couldn’t believe what she was saying. 

She had gone to Arizona’s, well, she hadn’t even meant to go to Arizona, but that was besides the point. The point was that she hadn’t gone to Arizona’s with the goal of trying to get back together, she just wanted to understand what had happened between Mark and Arizona years ago. She wanted to know she wasn’t hurting her like he had. But everything just seemed to be spilling out of her. 

Did she still love Arizona? It sure felt like it. She had been so sure she had been over Arizona for years. She always cared for her, but it wasn’t love, or was it? All she wanted was for Arizona to be happy, but now she was fairly certain seeing Arizona happy with someone else would seem wrong. Maybe she was just selfish, but she hadn’t been lying when she said she thought they were meant to be. 

“You… you want a chance? Callie, what the hell….” 

“I, yeah, I want a chance.” 

“No, I can’t, I can’t do that. I’m sorry.” Arizona looked away from Callie as she stood to her feet. “You should go home, Callie. Big day tomorrow.” 

All Callie could do was watch as Arizona walked away. 

xx 

Callie knew Michelle was trying to talk to her, but if pressed, Callie would not be able to repeat a word of it back. Her mind was just too busy with everything. 

And she had a hangover. And she had only slept around two hours. And Arizona wouldn’t so much as glance her way. 

Michelle gently nudged her as the judge walked in.

“Good morning everyone, are we ready to get started?” 

Everything just sounded like white noise to Callie. The judge was talking when Callie stood abruptly to her feet. 

“Yes, Dr Torres?” 

“I withdraw or whatever.” Her mother would be so disappointed to learn Callie never paid attention when she dragged her to court. “Arizona should have custody. Or well, it doesn’t really make much difference now because I’m not going to New York now. But Arizona should, yeah, so, yeah, we can all go home.” 

“Callie, what are you doing?” Michelle hissed, tugging at her sleeve. “You’re going to win, you don’t need to do this.” 

“Dr Torres, are you sure about this?” 

“Completely.” She turned slightly towards Arizona who was staring at her, mouth agape. 

“Callie, you don’t-” Arizona started before Callie cut her off. 

“I want a chance to do this,” she waved a hand around the courtroom vaguely, “right. No lawyers, just us figuring out what’s best for Sofia. And New York isn’t what’s best for Sofia, or for me either.” 

Penny had seemingly agreed with that early that morning when Callie finally came home and told her they were over. Based on the storming around and yelling, Penny would prefer to be on the opposite side of the country to Callie. 

“Very well then. Dr Torres, Dr Robbins, I wish you the best of luck. You both clearly love your daughter very much.” 

As the judge addressed their lawyers for next steps, Arizona stood up, rushing from the courtroom. Without much of a second thought, Callie chased after her, nearly crashing into Meredith on her way out. 

“Whoa, Callie, where’s the fire? Sorry, I’m la-” 

“Did you see Arizona?” 

“Yeah, she went that way, I think.” 

“Thanks! I’ll explain later!” 

Callie hurried down the hallway, praying Arizona just ducked into the restroom, and not one of the many corridors and offices.  

Thankfully, her prayers were answered as she found Arizona leaning over a sink, her shoulders curled up protectively. 

“We have got to stop meeting like this.” 

Arizona whipped around, her hair flying out behind her. “Callie, what are you, what are you thinking? What was that? You’re not going to New York? What about Penny?” 

Callie rubbed the back of her neck, her cheeks burning. “Penny, I think, would not appreciate me going to New York at this point if this morning was anything to go off and the throw pillow she almost threw at me. And the fact that we’re broken up. I should’ve led with that. I broke up with Penny.” 

“You broke up with Penny,” Arizona echoed, folding her arms over her chest. 

“I broke up with Penny. Because she’s not the one I want a chance with.” 

“We talked about this last night. I can’t do this with you, Callie.” 

“There’s no rush. I have nothing but time. Technically, I won’t even have a job in a few weeks if Bailey’s feeling hostile, which based on yesterday, I assume she is. So whenever you’re ready, I’d like to take you out on a date.” 

“You had a girlfriend. Yesterday. And now you’ve decided what, you’re in love with me again? Callie, no, we’re not… no.” 

“Arizona, it’s just a date.” 

Arizona threw her hands up. “It is not just a date! It’s so much more than just a date. We have so much history, pain, hurt-” 

“I know, I understand. But we also have this chance to change all that, or maybe not change that, but do it better. I don’t want to live a life of regrets and right now, you’re becoming a regret.” 

“Callie,” Arizona sighed, her shoulders sagging. “This is a mistake.” 

“Maybe it is, but we can’t know unless we try. No pressure, just one date.” 

“Just one date?” Callie nodded, and she knew she had Arizona. “Okay, maybe. Maybe. I’m not saying yes.” 

“But you’re not saying no.” 

“But I’m not saying yes either.” 

“So I’m guessing if I tried to kiss you, since bathrooms are kinda our thin-” 

“Callie.” 

“We’ll build up to that. I’ll see you tomorrow, Arizona, to ask you out.”