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tomorrow needs to be Perfect, utterly perfect and Emma meticulousness didn't go unseen. she saw Gilda and Paula looking at her curious, watching her hands and fingers getting jobs done fastly
the calendar staring at her back incessantly, piercing and menacing. it had to be outstanding, she wanted him to have the best of the best
norman could probably help her,he would probably insist to help her but he needs a break too
she needed to change the blankets and do laundry, sweep the floor, think of a gift and make the time to buy it,plead violet to let her use the videocamera,make sure that everything was in its place and,worst of it all, bake
maybe Anna could help her with that, Norman doesn't seem to know his facts about baking.
nobody really knows, they help with the cooking but Baking is always been a privilege for Gilda and Anna, other people could help too but they don't really have a knack for it
they both have been banned from the kitchen before as they 'dont seem to have common sense' (how were they supposed to know increasing the temperature in the oven to make the food cook faster was a big no-no in Cooking?), violet had their eyes on them for so long after that
now they are abolished from the oven, supervision was a must with them. they could burn the house down without it
her hands are burried in warmish water, her sleeves are sliding down her forearm and the bucket infront of her brings back so many memories so suddenly
she couldn't use the washing machine for those, they're delicate and she won't ruin them
she doesn't know how to interpret it, are the memories jumping at her? are they threating? do they dance around her mind and sooth her being?
she stops moving, smiling by herself.
the shirt on her hand is definitely clean and maybe she's going to stretch it but she needs those minutes,so she continues to wash it
the repeating motion getting her brain moving and thinking quick. so quick she can't keep up with it
she thinks of the time she was seven and Gilda had tried to dissuade her, she smiles wider at the thought, the younger always tried to keep her out troubles. she remembered the worry in her eyes as she sat in it
she got all dirty after not even a minute,filth covering her button up and the skirt but she smiled, even when Gilda pulled her out by her hands, so happy to have spent some time in a muddy puddle
Isabella wasn't too wide-eyed and surprised like she expected. she never looked too frustrated and being angry was out the options, she looked st her unamused and had guided her to take a quick shower
her smile falters at that, Isabella was only trying to keep the stress levels as low as possible. there were times where she doubted all the loving words she had said, if she didn't need to keep the stress level so low-
she shakes her head at the thought, completely misunderstanding the now deceased caretaker,she wasn't like that
she had died to protect her, as much as she'd like to hate and turn her head and be angry at Isabella she seems to be physically incapable
those times will hunt her for a while, maybe her entire lifetime. they follow her around and peek from her memories to remind her what she could've had
maybe isabella could be real with them this time,if she was alive, maybe she could love them rightfully
she compares those memories to the demons and it dawns on her
comparing something so vague and so silly as memories to demons seemed outrageous, nothing was as terrible them. at the time everyone would've looked at her with doubt, demons who have stripped so many people from loved ones are nothing like memories
now they don't hurt her or them as much, the healing journey she thinks of mujika and they aren't as gut wrenching, in her nightmares they look much scarier and much
there were times she compared demons to Isabella and she was right at the time but now it feels cruel, she wonders if she would've tried to fix her relationship with him,too
she should've noticed the steps coming to her, her instincts speaking louder than usual
Norman sit down on the stool he apparently carried (did she really spaced out so bad?) and he looks different
the spark in his eyes is back again, it sparkles but not as much. the curiousity for the world strained but still deep there. she remembers when he was oh, so curious about the outside world
and he smiles at her, his eyes wrinkling and gone is the uptight-kind-of-arrogant Norman
so she smiles at him too and he thinks the same, Emma looks relaxed, like when she was back at the orphanage. she's as light as a feather now, the vigilance she had faltering, gradually decreasing until it was nearly gone
nearly
"you're already straining yourself for tomorrow"
she doesn't know how to respond, his face blank and without an ounce of expression. his tone even but still managed to sound accusing
so she pulls the same even tone, her hands free of the clothes she was Washing,"it's a big day", she doesn't look up to him and her eyes seem glued to the bucket
"it doesn't mean you can stress yourself like this", some emotions finally rose up to his tone and he sounds worried
but he doesn't understand, it's Ray's birthday and it has to be good, it's his first in the human world and if the demon realm has wronged him in so many ways she'll make sure this one doesn't
she opens her mouth to protest but he seems quicker, his hand his up and she closes her mouth to listen to the words falling off his mouth. they come out fast and efficient
"I'm not going to leave you do chores at this hour, what if Gilda comes and scold you? then Ray is going to find out and scold you even more”
she scowled at that, it wasn't even that late anyway. the sun wasn't shining anymore but it's January! it could be four in the afternoon for all she knew
“it's not that late!” she picked up the bucket, squatting from the too-low stool
“it's ten and thirty, Emma” Norman deadpanned, taking both the stools and looking at her with his eyebrows shot up, dating her to try and persuade him
her scowl deepened even more, how did that happened?
“another reason i have to hurry! i only washed those-” she used the wood bucket to point at the clothes Norman was carrying, “-i need to tidy up and finish cleaning, i haven't even thought of a gift yet!”
she turns around, Norman is definitely starting to get on her nerves. It's Ray! he needs to best of the best and she knows Norman agrees, so why is he getting in her way?
she feels pretty guilty about not thinking about it beforehand but, and she swears this is not an excuse!, January flies by and she totally forgot to check the calendar
everything has been all over the place since they came here, everything is so different and she has adored exploring everything she finds-
a sudden hand stops her and she groans aloud, turning around with a glare sent his way.
but it faltered just as quickly as it grew, Norman's expression made her own soften. he looked more worried now, his eyes full of concern
“look-” he started talking, putting up a distance, a barrier, between them as they walked, “this place is spotless, the chores are all done and you even forgot to eat dinner. you'll only make Ray more worried”
Norman is tired. his voice trails off and the sparkle she saw before may only be exhaustion.
she would really like to cut him off and explain that it's not enough yet but if she doesn't stop when will he rest?
the selfless idiot is going to stay up until she, herself,goes to sleep too. and Ray? he's as stubborn as a mule, he's going to stay up too
“you need to take better care of yourself!” she cuts him off anyway, suddenly angry at him. her hair humourously bounce, agreeing with her. “look at you! you're going to fell asleep standing at thus rate!”
Norman scowls at her, looking directly at her antenna. “you- me-” he continues to stutter, at a loss for words
what?
his hands wander around, trying to help himself make a meaningful sentence but it's no luck
And Emma grins, his reaction worth millions, it's pretty rare to catch Norman off guard
“what are you guys doing now” it's a even tone, casual but accusing, there's a higher pitch on the end of the sentence but it seems to not be a question. sarcasm? high probability, it's Ray after all
and he stands there unamused,used to find Norman and Emma together doing something they shouldn't've done
his hands are on his hip and Emma cannot take Violet's words off her mind, ‘he looks like he's showing off'. now he just looks like a mother about to scold a kid.
her eyes wander and they scan him up and down almost an uncountable amount of times
she finds her mouth worldlesss and as empty as a dried off lake, thrown off by seeing him there but Ray doesn't seem to notice and he walks towards her
he takes the bucket and she only now notices how near the bathroom they are, his hands clasp around it protectively, almost aggressively
“you're doing laundry at this time? are the kids even sleeping?”, he looks at her, leaning towards Emma and scanning her up and down,she instantly back off
once again she's overworking herself, he sighs, not liking having to repeat himself over and over
the bucket is empty now, it lays alongside Ray's leg and he still look at them, urging them to speak with his other hand
not Emma nor Norman open their mouth, not sure why the older seems to be so urgent and almost frantic. hurrying them even when they haven't technicallly done anything wrong
Norman's eyes drop to his chest,“is that my shirt?”, he smirks
is he trying to distract Ray from whatever he's thinking? whatever Norman is doing Emma will follow, trusting his judgement as it comes faster than hers
Emma's grin returns when she sees Ray's face drop, his eyes down to look at the plain olive shirt, quickly shaking his head and scowling while returning to look at them
“it doesn't matter! what the hell are you two doing?”
to Ray they look like idiots, with their mouth opening and closing, the words coming out meaningless. they look like kids trying to avoid answering questions that will have them in trouble
it's going to be a heavy night, they all can feel it
Emma and Norman both look at eachother, “are you jealous?”, they say at the same time, a perfect chorus
he's so, so close to give himself a smack in the face but he doesn't, however he takes his hands and rubs his face in frustration
“don't be embarrassed!” Emma takes his hands gently, grinning so wide she looks like the personification of the sun itself
she takes his hands and look at the faintest blush in his cheeks, “don't feel left out!” she continues to speak, tilting her head to get a better look at him
Norman look at the scene with cheesiest of looks one could master, his eyes could be shaped like hearts
“you still haven't-”
“it doesn't matter now! you're so tired, look at yourself!” she took his face in her hands, emphasizing her words
“you're eyebags could be used for grocery shopping, let's go sleep” and without hearing his protest he's being dragged, he nearly falls face first on the ground but Emma make sure he stays on his feet, taking his hands a little too tight
his hands is interlocked with her's and he can almost sense the grin in Norman's smile
but he knows he can't win with them so he let Emma drags him to bed and Norman watch the whole situation with his hands on his pockets
as much as he'd like to drown himself in a book, or to swim through a shitty shows until the night and Tomorrow are passed they seem to not like the thought
realistically speaking he was ready to put up with Emma and her excitement for birthday parties or to be hyper-analyzed by Norman; but he seems to be wishful and ignore the Cristal clear facts about them
however the latter is still with his guard up, even when he sees Emma make a fuss about Ray sleeping patterns for what seems to be billionth time
the issue is the same, it happens every year in such subtle way, subtle changes that can only be picked up by observing eyes
such as fingers moving, touching buttons and zippers or a leg bouncing, even a slight scowl can appear out of nowhere
the past agitation in his words look so, so similar to past, his blunt body language desperate to hide something
this year it seems to be much less subtle, even the youngests have picked up that something was off
he watches Ray get under the blankets and turn himself so he gives Emma his back, the blanket up his head
“Rayyy” Emma whisper-scream, leaning in towards him with such a whiny tone, “you need to moveee”
but he doesn't, so Emma pushes him in the middle and Ray groans, taking one of the pillows and angle it so his head can have major of it
“don't be cranky,come on”, her tone seems different in every sentence she utters, playful and softness meet in the middle
Norman takes his shoes off. knowing better than to make Gilda see them he tucks them under the bed and sit on the mattress
he turns the lights off, the open curtains making the room seem cozier than it usually is
“go sleep in your own room” he grumbles something else, completely Hidden away from them
Emma gets under the blanket too, ignoring his words and Norman can imagine her enveloping him in a hug
her arms sliding beneath him and she interlocks her fingers, his heavy shirt gets raised and he shudders under her touch
maybe it's from the cold of her finger tips against his skin, maybe it's for the hesitation in her action, maybe it's from the love dripping on his skin that feels so familiar and yet so dangerously foreign
her head touches his own and they stay like that, Norman's presences looking down at them
Ray sighs in defeat
finally Norman makes a move, he doesn't even touch him, putting up a barrier that becomes Ray's. it's his decision, if he wants to break the distance Norman will be there
but Ray seem to be staring at him, his eyes on Norman's legs
why is he still sat?
why is he so away from him?
what's wrong with him?
Norman legs are tucked in, he stares in the oblivion with his back leaned on the wall
“so stubborn”, he starts to talk, staring at his hair peeking from the blankets
“how many times do i have to tell you before you understand?” he feels the mattress moving ever so slowly and lightly, they both don't say anything, treating the oldest like a scaredy cat
but Norman sighs, his stern tone gradually decreasing as he talks and talks
his mouths move and move automatically and he feels a hand near him
it lays comfortably and itching to move closer, but Norman still talks
about what they both don't know, maybe it's Emma behaviour or Ray habit of closing off when he needs help to stand high again
but they let him talk,complain about how he wants a certain someone to rest and relax, but they don't let him do anything
so he complains and complains, about how childishly he, himself, is behaving, about how frustrated they make him
a blabber mouth, all three are such chatter boxes that could talk for hours on end
every word flows oh, so smoothly. so automatic and seems to be scripted
he takes Ray's hand and angrily holds it as tightly as he can
he doesn't even know who he is talking to anymore, Ray? maybe he was,maybe not, he's vague and the lines blur
the blur so much he catches himself talking about Emma and Vincent and Barbara, lambda and the demons and the ratri that are at his back
he doesn't name who he's talking about,the sentences like a waterfall
when it's finally silent, when he calms whatever fire started to burn in him he hold the hand more gently
he scoots near him and looks at him in the eyes, getting under the blankets with him
he looks at the tight arms around his waist and he kisses his palm
then again and again, avoiding his eyes as much as he can
“we don't have to do anything tomorrow, if you don't want to” Emma slurs out, her sentence hard fo make out
she's still attached to Ray, fighting to stay awake to hold him better
she doesn't say anything else and he can see Ray hand touching hers for a second, after that it's silent again
now that Isabella is gone his birthday doesn't seem to sting as much, the living proof that he's the product of such a woman is gone but he still fears her
the fifteenth is such a odd day, January having no business to pass so fast
they all seem to have returned back in time, they live as peacefully as they once did, only the night terrors disturbing such peace
his self worth decreases every once in a while, not capable to feel needed anymore
if he doesn't have to protect anyone what will he do?
he doesn't need to have an eye open all the time now, how does he relax?
basing his worth, making his life purpose protecting started to backfire quickly
so he sighs in disappointment, wanting to be pressed and squished to death, to feel better
-
“rollercoasters? really?”
it looks menacing, he will never even dare to hint it but the sight of it is threating
“you're scared?” he can almost feel the smug on his lips, even if he still looks up to the moving thing
he scoffs at both of them, why they love rollercoaster so much he doesn't know
the adrenaline craving seem to increase every time he hears they come here, they dragged him to have a ride and to play in the arcade
he knows well how competitive they all are
he feels his heart drop when he follows it move, he's going to die on that thing
Emma links arms with him and smiles, smirks at it, this is going to be fun
he takes in a breath when they're close to sit down in it
-
he made a promise for those two for what? getting laughed at? he sacrificed his childhood for what? being a laughing stock?
was this his purpose in life?
he sighs, trying to hide the grin on his lips, Norman and Emma are laughing and even crying near him and people are staring
“your face-” he can make out from Emma, why are they even laughing at?
he's smiling at them because they're childish, of course
“yeah my face,what about it?” they laugh even more and Norman has to use his knees to keep himself steady, he fold his arms
“you-” she looks up, the laughter finally dying out, “you looked like-”
and she tried to imitate his face, her eyes growing wide and her head jerking back and Norman laughs even more
“he's gonna pass out,you idiot”
they're both two idiots, but they didn't tease him more than that
-
“Ray!” a wonky looking teddy bear is staring at him, Norman holds it so near his face he can feel the fur of it on his cheeks
so many people are around them, kids scream and laugh and there's a young kid crying, making a fit over non winning over a game
he takes it from his hand, turning around to look at Norman and his smile
how can he smile all the time? do his cheeks hurt?
“how many tries to win this?” skeptical he holds it up for him, to see and Norman eyes wander up, counting
“eight” he says, slipping his hand in his pockets
wasted so much over that? for him?
he scoffs again, “you could've done anything else more interesting”, he's still handing the plush, looking at it with slight fondness
it's ugly
“happy birthday” he only says, smiling even more
Emma comes from his back and she too has such ugly plush of what seems to be a duck
she crashes onto him, hugging him so she doesn't fall
then hands it to him, yanking it towards his chest and she smiles but he scowls
they're smiling so much
“you too? what's with you two and wasting times and coins over those?”
-
it's a mess, it's a mess of cake
the green fronting is messy and the candles are lopsided but they look so proud
the videocamera stares at him
so he smiles at the cake, admiring the finished product of the hard he heard
they had argued and laughed so much in the process Ray is sure everyone heard them
and everyone looks at him, the old men watching the cake a bit worried, maybe they're thinking if it's hazard but who knows
the youngers sit beside him and smile so wide at the double digits numbers on top of it
“you're getting so bigg” violet pinch his cheeks, teasing him while he gets away from their touch
“you're not even that-”
the candles are lit now and suddenly it dawns on them, he can see Emma eyes good wide in horror as she tries to blow them as fast as possible
the others, oblivious of his past actions, scowl at Emma, confused
“Emma wh-”
he blocks the whole conversation out, watching the smoke disappearing quickly
fire isn't as threating, he doesn't think of it as something to be scared off. it was a comfort, knowing that one day he could rest (with or without the deceased kids didn't matter) and if fire was the way he could start to rest,be it
it's more of a problem for Emma, the match in his hands hunting her and scarring her whole
fire is conflicting, so they don't light the candles
he looks at Emma and his smile stirs comfortable, he sees her more at ease
he looks at Lucas and Yuugo, who nearly died so many times for them, maybe he'll tell them of this
he looks at the others, maybe he could hint a joke about it
maybe
he takes the candles out and everyone looks at him, still confused but giving him their whole attention
-
the cake was a bit soggy, the frosting kind of melted and he's sure Emma's spit was in there as she blew the candles
but it tasted good, more than good,it tasted like home and warmth
he's still eating it, sitting crisscrossed on the couch with Jemima just sat infront of him
they're watching the shitty show he was supposed to see to drown out the day with
he smiles at his cake and at the two idiots he calls his best friends finishing to wrap presents
it wasn't as bad as he thought