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the small changes troubled Norman.
he knew her better than he knew himself and now it's like they have to restart all over again
it started with little details, Emma not remembering that Norman can't have shellfish or Norman assuming aspects of her
then it got more complex
the frustration built in his stomach as soon as he realised how he had an hard time comforting her. he compares the past to now, he knows it's unhealthy and it won't help but he can't stop the thoughts from flowing in
the two years without her felt unreal. he took his first breath in the human world when his eyes layed on her
the working hours only increased when the first six months passed. sitting on a desk typing away becoming the first coping mechanism able to take his mind off the world
and Ray nagged him every day at the same hours, pushing him to either eat whatever he made that day or take a nap
he gave him an hard time quite a lot, thinking of it.
he has to look away from the screen, his eyes dry and irritated from the light coming off it
his fingers raise up to his eyes, rubbing them trying to get the uncomfortable irration off
he looks up to the door when he hears it crack open, his fingers off his face. Ray stands there observing him, the same annoyed expression on his face
he blinks one,two times until tears refresh and moist his eyes
Ray holds a blanket in his arms
"what're you doing with that?"
"sleeping here so you feel guilty enough to move from that chair", he drags his feet to the other side of the desk
when Norman looks like he's going to open his mouth to reply Ray starts to speak again, just to piss him off
"Norman" he talks to him like he would to a uncooperative toddler that doesn't want to go to bed; his voice exasperated but soft
at the thought he stops, smirking to himself as the blanket gets thrown over his shoulder. "you are like a toddler sometimes"
the emphasis on the 'are' is enough to make Norman rub his temples and look down on the pen Infront of him
"if I'm a toddler you're a caretaker", he looks up to Ray but he doesn't expect to feel his stare burn him
their conversation stopped immediately, the air between them changed once again
it's the usual expression that accompanied both Norman and Emma through their childhood, neutral and lifeless and the same he wears when he reads
the sight holds a trace of melancholy,but it doesn't last long. the roundness of his face long gone but the expression remains the same, untouched
a proof that maybe, even if difficult, Emma and him can reshape the friendship and be like they were
the thought is nice, soothes his worries a tad
"you love her". his tone isn't teasing, he speaks like it's a fact. he speaks because he knows, the day he told him is forged in his brain and will never be forgotten
“you still love her, don't you?”
he doesn't reply and instead watches Ray get comfortable, using his own arm to rest his head. they're not looking at eachother anymore but the air only gets uncomfortable
he knows Ray loves her, too. he knows Ray loves him. he knows he loves Ray, too
but he doesn't utter Anything about it
he has been Truthful to Ray since his plan didn't work out, since his hand got stained with blood. he's been throwing himself at his friend with the bag of guilt and regret he carries around
he doesn't want to start hide again,not after Ray has started to open up himself. it won't be right.
so Norman opens his mouth but the words feel flat against his tongue, he gapes like a fish and sighs out of frustration again
speaking is too much effort,sadly he can't let the other read his thoughts from his mind
"will she ever remember?" he finds himself asking, after an agonizing twenty minutes. he doesn't even know if Ray is asleep or not
"i don't know the compromise they agreed on"
the silence falls on them again
a whisper surprises him, "maybe"
then Norman starts working again
--
Ray's asleep and now he definitely feels bad, it's been hours and he truly didn't realize the time ticking away
a pale hand rest on his shoulder and he instantly wakes up. the hyper vigilance hard to let go of
"feel bad enough?" he slurs out immediately, eyes half closed. maybe the nasty trick actually worked
"yeah, for your neck",he takes off the blanket a bit abruptly
Ray tries to reach over for the blanket, still lazely. it's a sad attempt but Norman still puts an act for him, taking a step back and moving his arm back just enough
"you're not sleeping on my desk, let's go"
--
sleeping alone is new, at least for most of the kids
a couple of them had the luxury to sleep in a room by themselves
Both Norman and Ray stared at what is the latter bedroom. at first it was supposed to be Norman's but he decided to give it up
the first night was weird. Ray's used to hearing the deep breathing of everyone sleeping or some ruffling but as expected, with the doors closed, he heard nothing but silence
silence is a threat so he never really sleeps in his room. sleeping alone means feeling uptight and ready for something, Anything to happen
sleeping without anything to distract him means having to deal with his thoughts
so he grips at Norman's sleeve when he tries to leave. he walks in dragging the boy with him
boy? man?
he drags the man with him
Norman doesn't complain, letting Ray manhandle him and make him sit down
his heart starts to race, even when they've shared a bed so many times before
the other doesn't want to think about Emma's memories again, but wants to keep thinking about her
it's not much logical and has a rather rational person he should know. thinking about Emma meant thinking about her situation, her forgotten memories and all the things they can't talk about
so Ray throws himself on his bed, takes the blanket and covers himself as much as he can
he has been working as hard as Norman, contrary to popular belief. the headache he constantly gets a proof he can't give
he cooks and looks after the kids, gets to work on his computer and tries not to feel like absolute garbage. those are his jobs.
his pathetic effort to convince himself fails miserably
Norman moves and lays down next to him. his presence a huge relief
then Someone knocks. it's a single knock and it's hesitant,faint to the ears
Ray peeks from the blankets, looking at the door
“just lannion and thoma pulling another prank” Norman looks at him, an hand in his hair
then the door opens and a too known bold orange colour look appears
Emma
“Thoma and Lannion, huh?”
did she interrupt anything?
did she spoil whatever moment they were having?
“sorry guys, I'll come back later-” she turns around and tries to close the door behind her
then Norman calls for her
she looks back and he's smiling. Norman has been so nice since the beginning
she makes an effort to smile back, even though she wants to apologize to him again
the first,the second and the third time had been all the same. Norman brushing her apology away and saying how it's not her fault,how they're going to deal with it just fine
everybody says the same. Ray, Sonya, Zack and all the others just treat her like she's family
like nothing happened
she sits down on the floor, the bed already cramped
Ray's head feel on the pillow again and she can see Norman adjusting his blanket so it rest on his shoulder
without thinking and before she can stop her tongue from rolling she speaks
“so are you two dating?”
both hands fly to her mouth, pushing it close.
she has to admit that it's plainly obvious. if they're trying to keep it a secret they're doing a terrible job
they're like Don and Gilda, bickering like an old married couple. but at least the youngers are more decent with keeping it a secret
she only hears the ruffling of the blanket and when she looks up. Ray has returned underneath the blankets.
---
“Emma used to like berries”
the sentence comes confidently, Oliver knows Zack will get what he means
and he does. Emma is so different now and they keep forgetting that so much has changed
such small details they took for granted changed
but Emma is still Emma
so he repeats, “Emma is still Emma”
Emma is still Emma even when she hates berries now, even when she forgets most people's names, even when she has an hard time making obvious how overwhelmed she is
Oliver starts again, his lips strained with an uptight smile, “she trust so many people like it's nothing; she moved in only after days we found her!”
“sounds like her” a playful punch on his side
he looks back to Zack, his sight lowers to meet him where he stand. his leg is glued to the weird armrest
his bandana lays nearly over his eyes and the usual coat he wears is off. even when his eyes are covered he keeps an arm over them
he huffs, selfishly wanting to block out the annoying sense of guilt he feels every time he thinks about Emma
she's right infront of him too, playing with the kids in the playground.
lannion and thoma are trying to kick the other down the monkey bars with their feet, Jemima is hiding in a tree and Emma is counting down to go search for whoever is playing hide and seek
he sits ver with Zack, their shoulders bumps together and he feels their arms brushing against each other. the familiar touch pushes him to talk to him freely
just this once
hovewer it's never once, and he knows it too.
Zack has always been able to make Oliver feel just comfortable enough to start speaking, he's a good listener. too good
the other doesn't seem to mind, he listens to Oliver Only interrupting occasionally. his voice seems softer too, but Maybe it's Oliver's imagination
"we needed to be more skeptical" his eyes fixiate on the ceiling that isn't so unfamiliar anymore.
as expected zack doesn't say anything
"we had to expect it;,we rebelled against the promise The demon God forged so long ago, of course he wants something in return!"
he stops Only for a second, "we were ready to keep living on in the demon world, we could've started building our own village or even keep living in the forest but she was so selfless-"
"Oliver"
his head moves instantly and Zack looks at him with the bandana fixed
"what is done is done" he knows it's an hard pill to swallow but like he had an hard time learning how to get over the death of his friends, he needs to learn how to move on
and how to not grieve over a living girl
Zack is right, so he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. they just need to give her time to settle down a bit more and then they'll see
he turns to look at the lannion and thoma. the first seem to have won the hazardous game.
he uses them as a distraction,not capable to bear the intense look Zack is sending him
they stay like that for a while, the silence only grows to be uncomfortable. they both bear it in fear of ruining whatever moment was happening
then zack moves. his arm goes to grab the back of the bench and the Oliver doesn't know if he's glaring at him out of annoyance or he's-
"Oliver"
"yeah?" he tries to ignore the way his body shivers, "stop glaring like that!". he finally looks at him, finding out they're a bit too close
"I'm not glaring"
"stop acting clueless, what's up with you lately?"
then Zack puts an arm over him, acting like they do it everyday. his arm casually rests on the back of the bench, touching the back of the other's back
maybe it's too much, maybe he's making the other uncomfortable. he feels oliver stare at him and Zack isn't sure whether it's because he's just surprised or starting to get irritated
when he tries to take the arm off a pleasant feeling of surprise hits him. Oliver frowns and he puts it back
they keep looking at the kids
—
the others always talk in her right ear
the younger kids don't make a fuss over the absence of her right
and she almost forgets the eyes that burn her skin when walking in public. she's still isn't used to such crowds, living with Alex in the mountains meant Little to no socialising
the old man was surprised when he noticed but he didn't even mention it. his eyes grew wide just enough for her to see
the kids that walk by her look at her side with curiosity and she struggles hearing the people by her left when they walk in a busy place
Ray has a chunk of his ear missing, so do a lot of kids and she suddenly doesn't feel in the spotlight when in public
she finds herself grateful to have stumbled upon them
she smiles to Norman and Ray, who have done so much
maybe she'll be able to remember everything and make them as Happy as they're making her
—
“and what do you have?”
Gillian and Nigel are bickering, a rare sight
“sewing skills,pins, better hat, amazing-”
“Ok! ok” Nigel surrenders, the bickering started long ago and time escapes from his palm like sand
“so you admit?”
she should've listed the cocky attitude, Nigel finds himself thinking
he won't admit whatever she wants him to admit, he doesn't remember the context of the fight
they're both sat on the couch,the pot mumbling away as Pepe and Ray cook in silence.
thr younger kids and the television add to the background noises but neither of them seem to mind. yeats and years of the haunting music playing in their ears has helped them grow numb to chaos
chaos and unpredictability, they know them better than the palms of their hands
younger kids- chris and alicia - come running down the corridor with big smiles plastered in their face and fist closed in the handle of bags
everyone hears Gilda warning them to not run, to be careful but they both ignore them
she sighs and Nigel only smiles with pity, Gilda and her mom-like attitude
they go straight in the kitchen and disappear
“my hat is better than yours” he only states, arms folded and the same frowns he has worn over the years on.
“it's falling apart!”
the stitches are coming undone, the leather is old- very old, the state of it isn't the best but he loves it anyway
“it's part of the family anyway” he brushes her argument away by leaning in the couch, his back relaxing comfortably
Gillian only sighs, the smile on her lips evident and she does the same. her head jerks to the side to look at him, and when he looks back his smile appears
Nigel has grown so much over the years, his childlike features disappearing under her watch and the boyshness gone
he has grown in his face but his fingers are still calloused, he's taller but he still wears the stupid hat
she just look at him and he looks at her, her insides warming as his smile stretch
“Gillian?” he calls for her even when they're facing each other, but she still appreciates how her name sounds like when said with his voice
she only waits for him to continue speaking, the background noises now a blur.
“I'm fucking freezing” he whispers, getting close to her with his head ducked slightly. and she sighs oh,so loudly and pulls a jacket from the top of the couch just to throw it at him
is it Pepe's? Oliver's?
however Nigel keeps looking at her with the same dumb expression. and that same expression makes her melt
the sound of the whisper startles her to no end, Alicia looks at her with a smirk
“were you gonna kiss?” she asks and the question only sounds genuine, no tease behind it and the blood in her veins boils with embarrassment
Alicia eyes are big and curious, she's behind the couch and leaning on it with her head on her palm
as they grow red from embarrassment she takes it as a reply
“did i interrupted it?” she slurs out, Nigel and Gillian sure are a cute couple!
“you didn't-” Nigel only stutters and stutters, “you didn't interrupt anything!”
Gillian nods fiercely and Alicia is confused. so they're not a couple?
her thoughts are stopped when Emma enters the room
both Nigel and Gillian look at her, Emma has been the main focus for a while and now that she's here, breathing and laughing and smiling, it seems unreal
she's not the same Emma
the promise has taken away the memories and a part of her that's dear to everyone
she's been here for what seems to be hours,but in reality it's weeks. she's uptight and overwhelmed with such amount of people and new things to see
Emma looks at Gillian and Nigel, she smiles sweetly like she knows them. they're all been so wonderful to her, even when she has to step back to recollect her thoughts
And she sees Gillian smile back to her, her hat lopsided and the pins nearly falling out. she's bubbly, expressive
and she sees Nigel, he too wears a hat and he's uptight, but not like her, he's sweet and likes to fiddle with machinery. such a nervous person
“Emma!” Gillian radiates energy and the sight of it makes her feel nice, welcomed. “come sit!”
and Nigel scoots over to the end of the couch, Emma sits down between them. Alicia appears infront infront of her and for a second she thinks the child is a magician
she takes Emma hands and the latter let's her. then her closed fist opens and a hot pink bracelet is in her palm
Emma is flattered. her eyes open just a tad too wide to be a normal genuine reaction but Alicia appreciates anyway. “for me?”, Emma asks dumbly enough
she stares at the pink beads with a smile plastered on her face
Alicia only nods her yes and listens to her big sister praises. a faint blush on her cheeks.
then she remembers
“wait here! don't move!” she looks at both Gillian and Nigel, speaking to them like they're going to disappear if she takes her eyes off them
then she rans off
Nigel frowns and looks at Emma with a big question mark in his face but she plainly ignores him. her attention on the bracelet now on her wrist, she smiles with fondness.
so Nigel tilts his head to see Gillian and she only shrugs, having no idea why Alicia was acting that way
“they're showering me with gifts” Emma takes both of their attention, she fiddles with bracelet
“we missed you a lot” Nigel nudges her shoulder, feeling bittersweet
Emma only smiles, that's what she does when suddenly she doesn't know how to reply,how to act when she's listening to the stories of her past
the more she lives with them the more she realises that she was looking for them and for this life. she knows it's just wishful thinking, that it's not possible but maybe her subconscious was trying to tell her something
a bag is thrown on her lap
Alicia
she looks down at it sharply, both the child's hands working to find something
“there!” she hands gillian handsful of pins and patches. bright and darker ones,some more complicated than others, she even spots some with sentence on them
Gillian looks at them with such a big frown she has an hard time not comparing it to Nigel's
“me and Chris did-”
the smile on her face makes Alicia stop talking. so she likes them?
Gillian takes off her hat not bothered by how her hair feel flat and works some of the pins on it
“how do i look?” she asks once the hat is back on, the remaining pins falling on her lap
the three only smile to her