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When it boiled down to it, what finally gave it away to Adam were the little things. The moments where Ronan was so secure in his subtlety that he didn’t realise Adam might notice all these supercasual gestures were only ever extended to him.
It started tiny, with doors held open a moment longer than necessary rather than pulled shut out of mischief. Extra takeout left in the fridge at Monmouth, the kind that Gansey hated. Help with his latin homework, even though he hadn’t asked.
Then it got bigger. An invitation to the Barns, because Ronan wanted an opinion on a dream object. But Gansey didn’t come along. A late evening stop at one of Adam’s jobs, under the pretense of boredom. Sometimes as they all hung out together, he’d catch Ronan watching him, eyes soft. Then Blue would shoot him a knowing look and Ronan would glance away, an angry smirk plastered in place to hide his lapse.
As the dream thief managed to find all sorts of ways to be in Adam’s presence more than the others, Adam found himself noticing things. He found himself noticing the angle of Ronan’s jaw, or the way his muscles rippled as he lifted the trunk of the pig. He found himself getting lost in the tattoo across Ronan’s shoulder as the boy hunched over chainsaw on a lazy afternoon. He caught himself admiring the strength in Ronan’s hands, yet the care with which he held the bird.
As he found his awareness expanding over Ronan, he started really noticing the little things the other boy did. More and more, he’d glance up to meet blue eyes already watching him, then hurriedly look away, feeling like a deer caught in headlights.
Then, he started feeling things. Their shoulders would brush as they went about business in Monmouth, and Adam would be left with a ghost imprint of Ronan’s skin on his own, as if a burning reminder of his touch stayed imprinted on the blond’s skin.
He would suddenly suffer from butterflies frantically clawing the inside of his stomach when Ronan smiled at him. Which Ronan did, whenever he was presented with the opportunity. That, in itself, was enough to raise Adam’s suspicions. Ronan smirked or sneered all the time. But a genuine smile? Those were reserved for Matthew, Chainsaw, and moments when people’s backs were turned.
Adam was getting addicted to those smiles.
So when Ronan showed up at the door to his apartment at two in the morning, soaked to the bone from rain, Adam was unsurprised. Ronan was shaking, his face wet with rain, tears and blood. The second the door was open, Ronan was pulling Adam against him.
Adam froze, the door still open, as Ronan clutched him tightly. The greywaren’s arms were strong, but shook as he wrapped them around Adam. He buried his face in Adam’s neck and breathed, as if he had been suffocating and Adam was his only source of air.
Adam gently wrapped his arms around Ronan his fingers running along tensed back muscles thinly covered with a damp black shirt.
The tattooed boy shuddered against him, a quiet, broken sob of relief. Adam’s heart cried, to see Ronan, steady, brave Ronan, so very vulnerable and in pain.
Ronan’s wet black hair brushed against Adam’s cheek, water droplets running down his neck and making him shiver. Ronan smelled like blood, rain and moss.
Gently, Adam pulled away from Ronan, who was still clinging to him. He reached down to take the other boy’s hand though, so Ronan knew he was still there. He reached around his broken friend to push the door closed, then led him to a chair. Sitting Ronan down Adam walked into the bathroom and grabbed a towel, then came back and began the process of drying off his drowned rat of a friend. Ronan was shaking like a leaf with cold and stress, so Adam pulled off his shirt and dried his hair with the towel, before grabbing one of the blankets off his bed and wrapping it around the blue eyed boy.
Through all of this, Ronan had just sat and allowed Adam to do what he wanted to him, gaze glued to the floor. After his initial sobs and clinging to Adam, he had been silent and docile.
Adam slipped his hand under Ronan’s chin and gently lifted his head to look into his eyes. Blue, watery eyes looked out from under dark brows, bloodshot and tired. But there was still a spark there. Adam was reassured. He went into the tiny kitchen and made tea.
The apartment was half lit and filled with the distant sound of rain on the church roof. The windows were dark and the night was cold, but the little loft was warm. It wasn’t bright, but the shadows that filled the corners held no malice.
Returning to place a mug of steaming tea into Ronan’s frozen hands, Adam sat across from him and waited.
After about ten minutes, Ronan finally spoke.
“You were dead.”
Adam was unsurprised. He figured it was a nightmare that brought the dark haired boy here.
“I’m sorry if I woke you up. I just, fuck.” His voice broke as another shiver wracked his body. Adam watched him grit his teeth. “I had to see you. I had to make sure you were okay. It was so real Adam. I thought I would wake up with your dead body in my arms.” He sounded angry at himself, as if it were his fault. “I walked here. I don’t know why. I should go.” He seemed out of sorts by Adam’s silence.
“You aren’t going anywhere Ronan. You can sleep here, if you think you can sleep more. If not, we’ll stay awake. I’m alive, and I’m here for you.”
Adam stood and went to put his tea mug in the sink with a long sigh. If Ronan was talking, it would be okay. He was scared for a minute there, when the greywaren was just sitting there, staring at the floor.
He went to the closet and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, throwing them at Ronan, who hadn’t moved and was watching Adam move around the apartment. He barely managed to snatch the clothes out of the air.
“You could have warned me, asswipe.”
The rude comment made Adam smile. Ronan would be fine. He was just shaken up.
When he was changed, he came and sat on the bed next to Adam, uncertainty badly concealed behind a mask of indifference across his dark features.
“Thanks Parrish. For not, I don’t know, freaking out.”
Adam turned to him and pulled Ronan against him. Ronan froze, back stiffening, but then hesitantly wrapped one arm around Adam, resting his chin on the smaller boy’s shoulder.
“Lynch, it's alright to lean on me sometimes. I get that you like to play the prideful asshole, but I’m the only one here, and god knows I know all about pride and having to put it aside. I won’t judge you for what you see as weakness. Now, do you think you can sleep?”
Ronan pulled back as he spoke, and when he stopped, Adam had the immense pleasure of watching him fish around for something to say, words completely stolen from him.
Adam just laughed at his puzzled expression, turning to crawl under the covers. He was tired, and hoped Ronan would sleep, although if he needed him, he would stay up all night.
Ronan moved off the bed, grabbing a pillow and heading for the floor like he’d done on a number of other occasions. Adam’s hand shot out and wrapped around his wrist, dragging him back onto the mattress.
“Getting me in bed with you already Parrish? Taking advantage of me in my vulnerable state, tsk tsk.”
“Shut up Ronan. Just get into this bed and go to sleep.”
When Ronan had settled under the covers, with as much distance between him and Adam as possible, Adam relaxed. He turned to face his bedmate, staring into burning blue eyes before closing his own, letting his body relax completely as sleep rushed up to take him. Just before he fell asleep, he heard Ronan whisper,
“Good night Adam.”
When morning rolled around and Adam opened his eyes, he was faced with a messy mop of black hair. Ronan was curled against Adam’s side, head on his chest and arm thrown across his stomach. One of Adam’s arms had found its way around Ronan in his sleep, and their legs were tangled together in ways that had Adam fighting a blush.
The sleeping boy’s breath puffed out over Adam’s ribs, warm and even. His body rose and fell rhythmically as he breathed, Adam’s arm rising and falling with him.
Then Ronan woke up and everything was a lot less relaxed.
It was slow at first, breathing less even, then the sound of a yawn, and the head on his chest moving. Then, as awareness probably returned, Ronan’s entire body tensed. He lifted his head slowly, and Adam was met with the adorable sight of a sleepy, shocked Ronan staring into his eyes.
Not knowing what else to do, Adam winked.
“PARRISH!-
Ronan would wake the dead with all that yelling, and it was much too early in the morning for zombies.
So of course Adam kissed him to shut him up.