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"I gotta get back to the office," Penelope told him. She didn't know why she told him that he should wait at her apartment, but she did. Right before getting into her taxi, Penelope turned around and kissed him. He kissed her back.
When she finally pulled back, Luke's smiling face was looking down at her. Then she got into her taxi and disappeared into the night.
And then she woke up.
Penelope rubbed her eyes and groaned. Every day since kissing Tyler Green, she'd had that dream. It was the exact same scenario in which she kissed Green, but her subconscious had replaced him with Luke. She'd try to ignore these dreams, but it was proving more and more difficult with each passing night. The kiss had happened on a Monesday. It was now Saturday morning. She knew she wasn't supposed to be dreaming of kissing someone else, especially not when she liked the person she was kissing in real life. Because Penelope did like Tyler, didn't she? She didn't know.
But of course she did. He was sweet… after a little bit. And he wasn't bad to look at… although she'd seen better. And he bought her that cat… which was kind of a presumptuous gift. And he wasn't a bad kisser… but she'd had better. And he'd complimented her, called her the best… but he certainly wasn't the only one who'd done that. Who cared if he was considerably younger than her?
As much as she tried to fight it… her mind went back to Luke. Sweet, beautiful, amazing Luke. He was nice to her from the very beginning. Even when she wasn't nice to him. He was one of the most attractive men she'd ever had the pleasure of knowing. He'd bought her that squeaky cat, the one she still had, just to make her smile. He'd never been one to shy away from how highly he thought of her. And he was a fantastic kisser. Even if it had only happened once. Plus, he was age-appropriate. But that didn't matter. Right?
Her brain kept drawing comparisons between Tyler and Luke. It soon became impossible to deny. Everything Tyler had done, Luke had done first. And done better. And he’d done more. He’d held her while she was crying. Multiple times, in fact. He danced with her, he smiled at her, he tried to work well with her. It quickly became clear to Penelope that every reason she liked Tyler had been a reason she liked Luke. But no, that wasn't quite right. Everything Tyler did only reminded her of Luke. Every reason she thought she liked Tyler was because it was a reason why she liked Luke. Why she loved Luke.
So she picked up her phone and texted Tyler.
Hey. We need to talk.
He replied after half an hour.
K. Call or F2F?
Penelope cringed slightly. The way he texted her… maybe she did have a problem with their age difference.
Face to face.
👍👍. Mine or urs?
Yep, she definitely had a problem with the age gap. It was like dating a child. It made her feel icky.
Yours. That way she could leave once she told him and it would lessen the risk of him going somewhere and doing something stupid like he'd done after finding out about Alison. Not that she was saying that this was going to be in any way comparable to finding out his sister was dead, but she didn't fully trust the way he responded to bad news.
When Penelope arrived at Tyler's he tried to kiss her hello, but she pulled back.
"Oh," he said, picking up on it instantly. "It's that kind of talk."
"Yeah… look, Tyler, I believe you're a good guy, but I don't have those feelings for you and I don't want to string you along. What happened the other day… it can't happen again, I'm really sorry, it's just–"
"It's that other agent, isn't it?" Tyler asked, cutting her off. "Alvez? Was that his name?"
Penelope nodded bashfully, stunned at being so obvious.
"Yeah," Tyler laughed humorlessly. "I clocked that right the fuck away. I mean I kinda hoped I was wrong, obviously, especially after the other day, but, guess not."
Penelope tried to reach out for him. "I'm sorry, Tyler, I–"
He jerked his arm away from her. "Don't. Just, don't, okay? Do us both a favor and just go, okay?" He gestured at his door with a Well? What are you waiting for? expression on his face.
Penelope nodded once, then turned around and walked out of both his home and life forever. When she got back in her car, she gripped the steering wheel and tried to steel her nerves. That had gone over about as well as she'd expected, but she still had one more conversation to have. And that one was far more daunting.
So she texted Luke.
Hey, I need to talk to you about something important. Not work-related, don't worry. Can I come over?
He responded instantly. She smiled, because of course he did. It was Luke. He'd never leave her waiting.
Yeah, of course. You know you're always welcome. Plus, I think Roxy misses you.
This was accompanied by a photo of the aforementioned dog, which only made Penelope smile harder.
Oh look at the beautiful face!
I'll be over in fifteen?
His response was, again, instantaneous.
See you then 😊
Taking a deep breath, Penelope stashed her phone in her purse and started her car. She could do this. She could do this.
When she arrived at Luke's she was greeted by an over-enthusiastic dog and that smile. His lips pulled gently open revealing his pearly white teeth, his eyes bright. He almost looked like he was glowing when he smiled at her like that. God, she loved that smile. When she was looking at him and that smile, it was like nothing else existed for a moment.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Luke asked her, snapping her out of her trance and pulling her back into the moment.
Right. She was here to talk to him. About important things. “I kissed Tyler Green,” she blurted out. Well, shit. That wasn’t how she’d meant to start things.
To say that Luke was taken aback would be the grossest understatement of all time. “O-oh,” he stammered. “When did that happen?”
“About five days ago.”
Luke’s heart was breaking, but he refused to let it show on his face. As her friend, he needed to be happy for her. As someone who loved her he needed to be happy for her. If this had been a few days then she probably wasn’t too against it. She was probably happy . He needed to be happy that she was happy, even if it wasn’t with him, because that’s what loving someone was. “I’m happy for you,” he told her, trying to convince himself as much as her. “I’m glad you’re happy with him.”
“Don’t,” she said, almost forcefully. “Don’t be happy for me, don’t be happy that I’m with him, because I’m not. ” She paused, thoughts scrambled. “Happy. I’m not happy. Or with him.”
“I’m confused,” he told her, eyes squinting. “What are you saying, then?” Why are you telling me?
Penelope knew she had to tell him, and she had to tell him right then so he could understand. “I’m in love with you. I know I ended things between us but I am so good at running away from serious things and the fact that I wanted that with you was terrifying to me and I didn’t want us to have a falling out and then I’d lose you, I can’t lose you. I thought I was able to get over it and just be your friend but then I kissed him and I realized that every reason I thought I liked him was because he reminded me of you, that I wanted it to be you, that I still love you. And every night since I’ve kissed him I’ve had this recurring dream where it was you I was kissing and not him. And I’m sorry if it’s not fair of me to dump this on you, I’m sorry if this is unrequited, but you need to know. I need you to know.”
And all of a sudden Luke found himself completely at a loss for words for the second time in as many minutes. The only thing his stunned mind could think of to say was, “You think it’s unrequited?” Then, “Sorry, that was a lot of information to process all at once, give me a minute?”
“Take your time,” Penelope told him, smiling. She would have been nervous, but even in his stunned state the first thing he could think to do was inadvertently tell her that he loved her too.
Luke mentally broke down everything she had said. She wasn’t with Green. Wonderful. She was in love with him. Amazing. Nothing could make him happier. She had ended things because she wanted something serious but was scared of the possible fallout. Well that could be easily delt with. He’d spent the last seven years loving her, he wasn’t stopping any time soon. She couldn’t lose him. He couldn’t lose her. It was his biggest fear. When she kissed Green all she could think about was him. Well that was flattering as hell. He wondered if she had compared their kissing abilities. He wondered if she thought he was better than Green. He certainly hoped so. She had dreamt about him taking Green’s place (repeatedly,) so it was definitely a possibility. She thought her love could be unrequited. That was the only thing she had said that he had any issues with. How could she not see how in love with her he was? How he’d loved her for seven whole years and had been just waiting for her to notice? How he would do anything for her? No, that would not do. She needed to know. If she could be brave, so could he.
“Penelope, I love you too,” he told her. “So much. First and foremost, that is what you need to know. Thank you for telling me all this, seriously, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I kind of wish it hadn’t taken you kissing someone else for us to get here, but I’m glad we finally got here. I want something serious with you too, I always have. I’ve loved you for seven years, Penelope, you don’t have to be worried about me going anywhere. Losing you is my biggest fear, so if we both want this to be something… I think we’ve got a real shot.”
Penelope smiled at his passionate admission. “I think so too.”
Luke stepped close to her, wrapping one arm around her waist and placing his other hand on her cheek. She leaned into the touch, smiling at him, and he smiled back. “So… are we finally doing this? For real, this time?”
Penelope looped her arms around his neck. "I think we've waited long enough. Don't you?"
“I hope you know that if I finally get you, I am never letting you go," he told her. "This is going to be a forever kind of thing. I'm not losing you again."
“I know,” Penelope said, leaning in and pressing her lips against Luke’s. “I’m counting on it.”
And that kiss… was somehow infinitely better than their first, as wonderful as that had been. Penelope found that she didn’t actually regret kissing Tyler Green. How could she, if it led her to her happiest moment? They kissed and they kissed and they kissed until they couldn’t breathe anymore, so then they caught their breath and then kissed some more. They spent the whole day together, making up for lost time. They spent the night together too, although nothing happened. They just held each other through the night, reveling in the fact that this was something they could finally do. Penelope ended up staying the whole weekend, only going home briefly to get Sergio, some changes of clothes, and some allergy pills for Luke.
When they got to work on Monday, she kissed him lightly before heading off to her office. He stared after her for a moment before heading to his own desk, a gentle smile gracing his lips. He hadn’t stopped smiling like that the past forty-eight hours.
“That smile’s seven years in the making,” Tara whispered to him when he sat down, a teasing smile on her face.
“Yeah,” Luke said, looking off in the direction of Penelope’s office. He wasn’t surprised that Tara had already figured them out, and he found he didn’t really care. “I don’t mind, though. She was worth waiting for.”