Chapter Text
No one told Kanda that having roommates would be the worst decision of his life.
They were all terrible people, though, if his adopted brother Daisya was to be believed, he deserved it because he was “pretty fucking awful too.”
Alma, that traitor, merely laughed and told him that it was just karma coming bite him when he least expected it. Then, of course, he would try to bite him and laugh when Kanda shoved him away. But whether it was karma or not, Kanda couldn’t think of a single reason as to why he deserved so much shit in his life.
“Why the fuck are you wearing my clothes?” He asked for the third time that morning, feeling a throbbing in his forehead that he was quickly coming to associate with his terrible roommates.
Lavi, asshole number three in the household, smiled sheepishly as he made his way to the fridge, wearing a pair of pants that were more than a few sizes too small. “I, uh, couldn’t find any of mine. Sorry, Yu.”
Belatedly, Kanda wondered how he got them on in the first place. While he was only an inch shorter than the redhead, Lavi was broader than Kanda, and had a good ten pounds over him too. As he watched him putter around the kitchen, Kanda considered just burning everything he owned. Especially those pants. “They don’t fit you. You couldn’t even button them, you fuck.”
Lavi shrugged, pouring himself coffee. “Ain’t my fault. Someone didn’t do the laundry this week.”
Asshole number two smiled sweetly at him as he devoured his breakfast. “I already apologized, you know. I’ll do it tonight.”
“That’s what you said yesterday, Allen,” Lenalee pointed out, sitting across from him at the kitchen table. Kanda’s shirt slid off her shoulder, yet another reminder that he lived with a bunch of assholes.
Allen shrugged, reaching up to snatch Lavi’s coffee cup as he wandered past. Lavi heaved a sigh but let him keep it, walking back to the coffee machine. “I was busy yesterday.”
“You’re not wearing my clothes again,” Kanda threatened, sitting at the table with a huff. Allen ignored him as he adjusted the tie and blazer he had appropriated from Kanda’s closet. While not as small as Lenalee, the clothes still fit him a bit too big.
“I mean it!” Lenalee smiled at him, patting his shoulder as she stood. She moved to leave the kitchen, but stopped behind him, slipping the hair tie off his head. His outraged sputter did nothing to deter her, and she giggled as she skipped away.
“Fucking assholes.”