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Breakups didn’t mess up Alhaitham much. His ex, Kaveh, knew that very well. Unfortunately, the latter was too fragile himself.
Kaveh cried for days . Alhaitham could hear the loud sobbing from the bedroom across the hall. Contrary to his image of a cold and straightforward person, he did care about his ex to at least be concerned about his sobbing.
“Water break, Kaveh.” Alhaitham announced as he walked into Kaveh’s room while switching on the lights. “You don’t wanna be dehydrated while crying.”
“I h-hate you.” said a teary eyed Kaveh as he blew his nose into another tissue.
“I know. Just drink this.” Alhaitham offered his flatmate the cup holding water.
Kaveh obediently emptied the entire cup. “Came to make fun of me?”
“Well, as happy as I am at not having to hear you and Ajax fucking the life out of each other anymore-”
“We weren’t even that loud!”
“ Nilou complained to me, Kaveh. And she’s the same neighbour who tolerated you playing and singing metal songs at the top of your lungs when we moved in.”
“Maybe she just hates gay people.” Kaveh pouted.
“She never complained when we were having sex, you idiot.”
“That’s because half of the time you gag-”
“And that is your kink. So shut up now.”
Kaveh obediently shut up.
“And Nilou is lesbian.”
Well, that distracted Kaveh. “She’s what? ”
“You honestly thought she kissed Dehya passionately at Cyno’s party because of a truth and dare game?”
“Yeah, well, so did Ei and Miko!”
Silence fell as Haitham simply stared at Kaveh.
And realisation finally hit the blond man. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
At least Alhaitham had succeeded at what he did best- accidentally distracting people. Usually, that was with his face or body. But a task done is still a task done, no matter what the means.
“Go to sleep, Kaveh.” Alhaitham said as he got up from the bed and turned the light switch off.
When he was about to shut the door, he paused and glanced at Kaveh, his back turned towards Alhaitham now as he snuggled in his blanket.
“You’ll find someone better.”
Alhaitham desperately wished Kaveh had actually found someone better but no. This time, he brought in a manwhore.
Or at least, that’s the best way Alhaitham could describe Kaeya.
“This is Kaeya Agate.”
“Marathi?” Alhaitham asked, finally able to put his linguistics degree to a use other than lecturing Kaveh.
“Yeah.” Kaeya replied, clearly surprised. “Most people just ask for its spelling and then completely mispronounce it.”
“Ag-tay, right? This last name is generally used by many nationalities but-”
“Oh my god, can you both please stop discussing last names right now? Kaeya and I have things to do.”
“By things, if you mean having sex, you are supposed to give me a 2 hour notice.” Alhaitham deadpanned, clearly exasperated at having been interrupted in mansplaining yet again.
“Well, I’m giving you a 10 minute notice now. Can you leave?”
“It’s okay, jaan. We can watch a movie for some time till your flatmate leaves.”
Jaan? Isn’t that the Hindustani word for darling? Why was someone who just became Kaveh’s boyfriend calling him that? Alhaitham couldn’t believe his audacity. Surely, Kaveh would-
“Ugh! But babe, you don’t get it! He’s always so annoying.”
“I’m right here.” said Alhaitham.
“Fine! Let’s go to your dorm, then.” Kaveh says. “You said your roommate is out?” And yeah, Alhaitham shouldn’t mind this. More time for him to go over his notes peacefully.
But he did. He did mind this a lot. He decided to simply convince himself that this was because of Kaveh’s continuous bad taste in boyfriends.
“Can’t be loud in dorms. We should go to my brother’s apartment instead.” Kaeya smiled playfully. Alhaitham is too tired to even be disgusted. “He’ll probably be out and I have a key.”
“Your winery heir brother?” Kaveh’s eyes sparkled, despite being upper middle class himself. Ah, the spell of rich people.
“Yeah.”
And off they went. Surely, Alhaitham wasn’t upset because he was jealous. That was a ludicrous idea. He was only upset because he still hadn’t finished revising his notes.
When does Kaveh get the time to study anyway?
Alhaitham soon discovers that Kaveh’s taste in men keeps getting worse .
Because why in the world is he with Diluc Ragnvindr now? Isn’t that his boyfriend’s brother?
Kaveh is a man of morals. That is something Alhaitham is sure of. So why is his pretty blond roommate going around holding hands with that redhead and smiling at him in the street?
“Are you cheating on Kaeya?” Alhaitham prompts the question at dinner that night.
Kaveh chokes. A minute passes as he immediately drinks some water to calm himself down. “Where did you even get that idea?”
“You were with his winery heir brother today.”
“His name is Diluc. And we’re dating.”
Alhaitham raised an eyebrow.
“Me and Kaeya broke up a week ago.”
Alhaitham raised both of his eyebrows now.
“He was jealous of the friendship me and Diluc developed. But Diluc fucks better anyway.”
Alhaitham’s rolled his eyes.
“Can you be normal? ”
“I am.”
“Kaveh, if you haven’t noticed, you’ve had three boyfriends in just the span of two months.”
“What do you want me to do? I’m just trying my best!”
And right then, Alhaitham’s delusional mind did entertain the possibility that maybe, Kaveh was just trying to move on from him. They had been pretty intense, after all. Before they weren’t. And everything fell apart. And Kaveh was a complete mess and nearly failed his exams.
But neither of them had the money or time to find a new apartment. So, they were stuck together. Exes living as flatmates. It couldn’t be that bad.
Except, Alhaitham was now realising it was, in fact, that bad . Kaveh was clearly trying to move on from him while Alhaitham struggled everyday to come to terms with his jealousy regarding Kaveh and his boyfriends.
“Does your best involve trying to move on from me by dating men who are, in latest terminology, simply mid?”
Kaveh was dumbfounded. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting Alhaitham to catch on to this.
“Okay, first of all, my boyfriends aren’t mid . That was you. And thankfully, we’re done.”
Alhaitham opened his mouth to interrupt but Kaveh, anticipating this move, raised his voice slightly higher.
“Secondly, you’re a dickhead who thinks everything is about you. Your schedule, your studies, your time. None of it was ever about what I want.”
Alhaitham did not know how and when this conversation slipped into attacks on him in their past relationship. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. But he was too angry to think rationally.
“Oh it wasn’t about you? I let you live with me when you were fucking broke because your couldn’t handle your parents divorcing like a baby and cut off contact with them temporarily. I let you decide our date places. I let you decide what food we’ll eat on movie nights. I let you decide how sex will proceed between us. I let you dump me.”
Their dinner was now as cold as their eyes and voices.
“Oh, really?" Kaveh gave a wry mocking chuckle. "What about you deciding when we could have dates because somehow, you always had a tight schedule, making the both of us have probably five dates in the entire six months we dated? What about you mostly vetoing whatever food I actually did decide? What about you being so fucking lazy and uninterested during sex that you didn’t even bother to relay to me what preferences you have?”
Even God wouldn’t be able to break the staring competition the two exes had going on in the dining room.
“I dumped you for many reasons, Haitham.” Kaveh’s voice broke. “And maybe one of them was that you didn’t consider me shit, even if we were best friends for seven years before all of this.”
Kaveh got up to leave the dining room now, his plate only half finished.
“And if you really have such a problem with me staying here,” Kaveh said, voice conveying clearly he was crying, “then I’ll find another home.”
Alhaitham would never forget how Kaveh used the word home.
The doorbell rang, serving as a distraction to Kaveh’s incredible concentration in making samosas. Surely, he can do it. He wants to. And he needs to, as a source of distraction after the disaster of last night. His mother said he can definitely make samosas (even if his father laughed at the mere idea of Kaveh cooking).
“Coming!” He said cheerfully. The samosas would turn out fine. And if he stays cheerful, so will he.
The door opened up to one of the most beautiful men Kaveh had ever seen.
“Hi. I’m Tighnari.”
“Hi…?”
“I’m Alhaitham’s friend.”
“Oh. Come in!” Kaveh said cheerfully again.
The jealousy can be addressed later.
“Are you making something, Kaveh? It smells delicious.” Tighnari complimented.
“You know my name?”
“Haitham told me.” They came to the ‘Haitham’ really fast. Kaveh knew his flatmate preferred dropping the ‘Al’ anyway. But that was only with close friends.
“Oh. Well, I’m glad you like the aroma of the samosas!”
“You’re making samosas? That’s great.”
“You can taste some when I’m done with them.” If Kaveh was feeling jealous, he did not show it. He was just glad there was someone who actually knew about samosas and didn’t hate its aroma as soon as they walked in.
“Samosas always remind me of the beef sambouseks my mom used to make.” Tighnari’s voice was slightly melancholic as he said this. Kaveh realised Tighnari probably did not get to taste his mom’s beef sambousek anymore.
“Well, beef sambouseks isn’t something I can offer right now but I hope samosas with potato fillings can satisfy you.” Kaveh smiled at Tighnari in a genuinely apologetic expression.
Tighnari smiled back warmly at Kaveh. “Thank you.”
As Kaveh turned on his heel to walk back to the kitchen, both him and Tighnari remembered they still had to discuss the reason why Tighnari arrived as a guest at Kaveh and AlHaitham’s house.
“Tigh-”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention. Haitham sent me to collect his phonology notebook. He will be studying till late in the library today.”
“Ah. I see.” It wasn’t just the ‘Haitham’ this time. Generally, Alhaitham asked Kaveh to deliver his notebooks for some of his late evening study sessions in the library. Him sending Tighnari was new. Although Kaveh didn’t exactly have to guess why after last night. “It’s on his desk. Room on the left in the hall.”
“Thanks.” Tighnari said as he started walking towards Alhaitham’s room. And it was killing Kaveh how he was even going to see his room now.
“I can stay for the samosas, right?” Tighnari reappeared out of the room in just a few seconds, Alhaitham’s phonology notebook in his bag.
“Of course.” Jealousy wouldn’t prevent Kaveh from being a good Indian-Iranian and treating his guests well. It was in both of his cultures, after all.
That noon, Kaveh and Tighnari snacked on enough samosas to feel no need for lunch anymore.
“How is Haitham?” Kaveh asked, almost unexpectedly for him.
“Uh, he’s fine, I guess.” Tighnari replied. “Why? Did something happen?”
“Not really.” Kaveh assumed he was a decent liar.
A moment of silence passed before Tighnari spoke again.
“I know you guys used to be a couple.”
Kaveh looked at Tighnari now, slightly shocked. Not many people knew about them.
“How did you know?”
“Haitham talks a lot about you. Even now. But when you both were dating, he frequently used to tell me about how beautiful you were when you slept or how awful but cute you were when you were cooking." Tighnari gave a soft chuckle before turning his gaze to Kaveh. “Everything he said was filled with so much affection that I was convinced he was in love with you.”
Kaveh’s slight shock now turned into full shock. “That can’t possibly be the case.” He tried to reason in a small voice.
“It’s not just something I noticed. Cyno noticed it too.”
“Cyno?”
“My boyfriend.”
Hallelujah, the pretty man had a boyfriend! Kaveh did not have anything to be bothered by now.
Except… he did. He was way too bothered about the possibility of Alhaitham having been in love with him.
“Cyno said it’s how he talks about me.” Tighnari smiled, almost to himself now.
“You guys sound cute.” Kaveh said.
“Thanks. I love him a lot.”
Maybe it was this that sealed it for Kaveh. He had to talk to Alhaitham.
But the man he wanted to talk to did not come back home for the next two days. A curt text message the first day at 8 P.M. conveyed he’ll be crashing at Tighnari's.
When Alhaitham did show up though, Kaveh was fuming.
“Were you just trying to avoid me?”
“I don’t have the energy for this right now.”
“Do you ever have the energy for me, Haitham?”
Alhaitham had had enough. “Yes, fucking hell, yes!” And he was shouting now. “Kaveh, if you tried to at least talk to me before the breakup, I could have explained why we only went on five dates. Or why I was so busy all the time and didn’t seem to have time for you at all. Or why I rejected some of your food choices. Or why I never relayed my sexual preferences.”
“Go ahead, then.” came an equally angry Kaveh’s voice.
“The food choices? That was because you have a terrible habit of putting the unhealthiest shit in your mouth. I was worried about you and your health. If you didn’t notice, everything I recommended otherwise was at least a bit healthy.”
Kaveh couldn’t help but think how it was true. He was never good at digesting noodles well but they were inarguably his guilty pleasure. This had even ended up in his digestive health deteriorating pretty awfully once. Every time they discussed takeout, Kaveh almost always said they should order some kind of noodles. But he remembered how Alhaitham sometimes used to push him to order something else instead.
“I never relayed my sexual preferences because I wanted you to be happy. Your pleasure mattered way more to me and that was enough to provide me pleasure too.”
Kaveh suddenly remembered a conversation between him and Alhaitham after they had sex. He had asked him the exact same question but in a more loving and tired way- “Why do you never talk about your sexual preferences?” A sleepy Alhaitham had answered, even then, by saying that Kaveh’s pleasure gives him pleasure too.
It was always about him.
“And you know why I was always so busy? Why we only went on five dates? Because I'm planning a future with you.”
At this, Kaveh’s eyes widened as he looked into Alhaitham’s.
“The only reason I want to have a good income source and I work so hard is because I want to provide for you . I don’t want you as stressed you are whenever your exams are approaching. I don’t want you to suffer when making new models because you want to make everything perfect. I want you to feel safe and secure and then pursue what you want to.”
Kaveh couldn’t help the tears falling out of his eyes now.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” He said, his eyes now so teary that even Alhaitham wasn’t clearly visible to him.
“Because I don’t want you to blame yourself for all of this.”
“I wouldn’t-”
“Yes, you would. Be honest, Kaveh.”
Alhaitham was right. Kaveh wasn’t used to people doing even a little for him. He would have definitely blamed himself for his boyfriend having done so much for him.
“I wasn’t able to convey this well. I know that.” Alhaitham now cautiously approached Kaveh, as if the latter was a small scared kitten. “But I genuinely love you a lot. I still do. And I don’t think that will ever change.”
Kaveh broke out into full sobs as Alhaitham hugged him after saying this.
“I missed you so much.” he said between sobs
“I know.”
“Every time I saw a couple, I wished that was us.”
“I know.”
“All of my boyfriends sucked because I wanted them to be you but you are in a different league.”
“Okay, I did not know that. ”
Kaveh chuckled a little as he and Alhaitham looked at each other now.
“I’m sorry. I really am.”
“Apology accepted.” Alhaitham smiled.
“And I want you to take care of yourself more.”
“I do.”
“You don’t.” Kaveh absentmindedly fixed Alhaitham’s hair as he said this. “I want you to talk about your food choices too. About places you want to go to for dates. About your sexual preferences. About anything that upsets you when it comes to your studies.”
“Remember when you once joked about the word sexual preferences and called me Victorian for not just using the word ‘kinks’?”
Kaveh let out a laugh. “You are a Victorian man, actually.”
They smiled at each other now. The world seemed to have become a little more peaceful today.
“But you’re a Victorian man I love.”
Alhaitham’s gaze softened even more as he pulled Kaveh into a kiss.
“So… are we dating again?” Kaveh asked sheepishly
“As a Victorian man, I believe we need to properly say we are courting each other.”
“Haitham!”
“Also, we can’t have sex before marriage.”
“Are you kidding me? I’ll die!”
Laughs echoed in the living room.
“Don’t worry. We can fulfil the condition of having sex too if that’s what you want.”
“That is not a good proposal.”