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Bill could hear the screaming as soon as he crossed the enchantments. They weren’t so far removed from the war that he first thought didn’t go to an attack but what he saw when he entered the Burrow wand first was something else entirely. Seeing Hermione, seated on the couch, watching the world burn around her was an alluring sight. It also told Bill that there wasn’t anything too terribly wrong if Hermione was seated and seemed to be enjoying the chaos that was his siblings. When she spotted Bill, the smile she gave him confirmed his theory.
“You don’t want to know. Although you might enjoy the show. It’s been rather amusing.” The mirth that was laced through her voice was hard to miss as a blur of red hair suddenly cut through the sitting room, followed by enough blurs of red that Bill was struggling to figure out who all had just cut through the sitting room at breakneck speed.
“Was that…” His voice trailed off as he looked at the direction they had come from before looking out the door they had exited. “Better question yet, where’s mum?” Hermione laughed, whining at a crashing sound that came from the next room.
“Went to the shops. I think the better question should be what were they chasing?” The twinkle in Hermione’s eye intensified as Fred’s voice carried over from the kitchen.
“....o…Ginny grab it’s tail!.....no not that way! Percy use the bucket!” Bill cocked his head to the side as another loud crash echoed from the kitchen. “The other bucket Percy! Not that one!”
Hermione laughed as Ginny squealed, cutting back through the sitting room and disappearing out the back door, slamming it as she left. Hermione raised an eyebrow before Ginny reappeared with the outside broom, looking ready to commit murder. Once Ginny reentered the kitchen, Bill sighed.
“Just what exactly are they chasing in there?” Hermione’s laughter intensified as Bill raised an eyebrow at her peels of laughter.
“A squirrel.”
“.....not that bucket Ginny! It has holes in it!.....” Hermione sighed as her laughter broke off as Bill sank down into the chair across from her.
“Not going to help them out?” Hermione’s question was fair; he’d give her that.
“There are two Aurors, a professional Quidditch player, two shop owners, a dragon tamer, and a Ministry Employee in there. If they can’t figure out they have wands, that’s on them. Mum is going to murder them.” Bill’s tone almost sounded gleeful at the prospect as he settled in to watch the carnage unfold.
“....fix the bucket he says! Fix the bucket! How am I….GET IT OFF ME! GET THAT OVER GROWN RAT OFF OF ME….”
“Hold still Percy!”
“You’re not going to hit it with the skillet while it’s on Percy are you?!?”
“...Don’t you dare.”
“Of course not!”
Bill and Hermione chuckled as the world began to burn down around them.
It was going to be an exciting afternoon.
Bill was surprised that the vein in his mother’s head didn’t burst. It was throbbing so forcefully. He was wedged into a corner with Hermione, avoiding his mother, who was still having a go at his siblings.
“It’s almost worth your life to be in there.” Hermione’s voice was so low Bill almost didn’t hear her.
“Not on your life. You’ve never been on the other end of her dressing downs. You may think you have, but she’s nice to you. You’re like the favorite sibling out of the bunch. You and Harry.”
“IT WAS A SQUIRREL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! THERE WERE SEVEN OF YOU HERE AND NOT ONE OF YOU THOUGHT TO USE YOUR WAND??”
“Bill and Hermione where…..”
“BILL AND HERMIONE HAD THE COMMON SENSE NOT TO LOSE THEIR MINDS AND DESTROY MY HOUSE CHASING AFTER A DAMNED SQUIRREL.”
“But mum why can’t we use our wands? This would go so much quicker.”
“YOU DIDN’T THINK TO USE THEM WHEN YOU WERE CHASING AFTER THAT OVERGROWN TREE RAT YOU DON’T GET TO USE THEM DURING THE CLEAN UP.”
Bill smirked as Hermione did her best not to chuckle. It was better not to draw Molly’s attention to them until well after she had managed to calm down.
“There’s a Squirrel in the Burrow. How stupid do they think I am?” Molly was muttering as she cut through the living room. “It’s just like that stupid kids' song, there’s a squirrel in my bucket.” Molly pulled a face when she realized her slip of the tongue when Bill started laughing. “Hole. Hole. There’s a hole in my bucket. The two of you could have helped them you know? Instead of letting them lose their damned minds.”
“We tried mum, honest. They didn’t want to listen.” Bill’s white lie rolled off his tongue with ease, as Hermione bit the inside of her cheek as Molly made her way out of the living room.
There’s a Squirrel in the Burrow, indeed.