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Symptom 1: He can’t stop thinking about Miyuki.
Sawamura starts getting suspicious when his thoughts fall to Miyuki and it’s not just about Baseball. Sure—the vast majority of his thoughts revolve around the sport, and he does spend a great deal of his time thinking about Miyuki catching his pitches, but lately, he’s been thinking about other things, too.
Like the way Miyuki laughs with his whole body, arms clutching at his stomach as sound erupts out of him. It’s an awful laugh, really, but there’s something about it that makes Sawamura want to smile. Miyuki laughs, and before he can help it, the corner of his lip is pulling up. It’s a strange phenomenon that Sawamure has come to accept, without looking too deeply into the matter.
One minute he’ll be thinking about Miyuki’s laugh, and the next, he’s remembering a conversation they had earlier in the day, or a specific way that Miyuki looked at him. Sawamura’s brain is already packed full of baseball - he doesn’t need Miyuki taking up the space that his studies should.
And it’s not just his thoughts. It’s the fact that whenever Miyuki is around, Sawamura finds himself staring. It’s like Miyuki is a magnet that keeps pulling Samamura’s gaze to him. Whenever they’re in proximity, his eyes wander until they land on Miyuki, staying put until something else catches his attention, or Miyuki looks his way.
Sawamura has had too many close calls for comfort, but no matter how hard he tries to stop, his eyes keep finding their way to Miyuki.
⚘⚘⚘
Symptom 2: He wants to make Miyuki proud.
Sawamura has always loved compliments, and recognition, and well, any kind of attention, really. But Sawamura finds himself going out of his way to gain praise from Miyuki specifically. And with each success, a weird flutter passes through his stomach.
He tells himself it’s for the sake of their battery. The more Miyuki recognizes him, the stronger their bond on the field becomes.
That reasoning, however, doesn’t hold up when Sawamura finds himself seeking praise for non-baseball-related activities. The one time Miyuki acknowledged the improvement in his grades, Sawamura was practically floating all day.
⚘⚘⚘
Symptom 3: His heart beats faster around Miyuki.
It’s one thing for Sawamura’s heart to beat faster when he’s on the mound, the sound of the ball catching in Miyuki’s mitt ringing in his ears, but the thing is, it’s not just happening on the field.
Sometimes it happens when Miyuki looks at him. Sometimes it happens when Miyuki teases him. It always happens when Sawamura sees Miyuki without his shirt, and honestly, that should have been a dead giveaway, but apparently, Sawamura’s better at repressing his feelings than he thought.
⚘⚘⚘
Symptom 4: He starts planning their future together.
And then there’s the fact that whenever Sawamura imagines the future, Miyuki is right there next to him. He doesn’t like thinking about Miyuki graduating, so instead, he thinks about what happens once they’ve both graduated.
He thinks about all the ways they can improve their battery when they’re in college. Sawamura has no idea what school Miyuki will attend, but when he thinks about the future, he thinks about the two of them together. Sawamura pitching, Miyuki catching.
Miyuki at his side and in his life. It doesn’t occur to him that after high school, they might never play together again - that their paths might not meet.
In every future that Sawamura imagines, Miyuki is there.
⚘⚘⚘
Symptom 5: He starts laughing at Miyuki’s bad jokes.
Worst of all? Sawamura finds himself missing Miyuki when he’s not around. He’s got a terrible personality! What is there to miss?! Unless he’s catching for Sawamura, his presence shouldn’t matter.
Miyuki gets sick one day, and his absence leaves Sawamura feeling off-kilter. He spends all of practice searching for Miyuki, despite knowing he’s not there.
And when Miyuki is there, Sawamura finds himself laughing at Miyuki’s bad jokes. It’s embarrassing, really, to burst into a laugh only to realize he’s the only one laughing, and everyone else is looking at him like they know something he doesn’t.
Including Miyuki.
⚘⚘⚘
It’s only after taking things to the internet that the realization slams into him at full force.
What does it mean if someone is annoying but I can’t stop thinking about them?
What does it mean when being around someone makes my heart beat faster?
What does it mean if someone tells really bad jokes but I think they’re funny?
All of the searches provide the same results. Sawamura Eijun is in love. He skipped straight passed a crush and dove right into love, because Sawamura never does anything half-assed, and apparently that translates to his love life, too.
Not that he has a love life. He just has a bunch of knotted-up feelings that have building and building, and now that he knows they exist, he can start untangling them. But the problem with Sawamura is that he’s a hopeless romantic.
Until Miyuki rejects him, there’s no chance of him untying the knots.
⚘⚘⚘
Sawamura is solemn when he presents the news to Haruichi, who becomes increasingly concerned as Sawamura releases his third deep breath.
“I have something important to tell you,” Sawamura says.
“Okay…” Haruichi nods, all ears. “What is it, Eijun? Is everything okay?”
Sawamura shakes his head. “There’s something wrong with me.”
Concern twists deeper into Haruichi’s expression.
“I’m in love,” Sawamura says.
Haruichi blinks.
“With Miyuki.”
There’s a moment of silence before laughter fills the space between them.
“Why are you laughing at me!?” Sawamura squawks in horror.
Haruichi slows his laughter and works to catch his breath, managing to get out, “I’m sorry, Eijun. I thought you knew already.”
Sawamura’s eyes widen. Does that mean Haruichi knew? Before him?
Haruichi softens. “It’s the way you look at him, I think.”
⚘⚘⚘
It’s like the universe hates him because, on his way back to his room, he runs into the one person he really, really does not want to see right now.
“Gah!” Sawamura yelps, leaping into the air. His body feels warm where it collided with Miyuki.
“Sawamura, there you are—”
“Can’t talk right now!” Sawamura declares. “Miyuki-senpai!” He adds, hoping the formality will separate him from the situation at hand. It doesn’t.
Miyuki’s expression is half amused, half assessing. “What could be more important than talking to your Senpai?” Miyuki asks, putting emphasis on the last word.
“I’m….sick!”
“You’re sick?” Miyuki deadpans.
Sawamura nods in quick succession.
“With what?” Miyuki presses.
Sawamura pauses like he isn’t prepared for such a perfectly reasonable question. “I can’t tell you!” He exclaims before quite literally bolting in the opposite direction.
That’s one way to deal with his problems.
⚘⚘⚘
The next morning, before the sun has started to rise, he wakes Miyuki up to a chorus of knocking.
Miyuki answers, half awake, his glasses on crooked and his hair a mess. Sawamura thinks, oh. How did he not realize sooner?
Miyuki stares at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be sick?” He asks through a yawn.
“I lied about being sick!” Sawamura says, voice booming with determination.
“I see,” Miyuki says, straightening out his glasses. He watches Sawamura with curiosity. “Now why would you lie to your senpai, Sawamura?”
Sawamura’s stomach twists and turns. He never noticed how much he liked hearing his name from Miyuki’s lips.
Sawamura balls his hands into fists and looks Miyuki head-on. He’s not going to hide from his feelings any longer. “I’m in love with you, Miyuki Kazuya!”
Miyuki’s expression remains unchanged. “I know.”
Sawamura’s jaw drops with mortification. “You know?!”
Did everyone know before he did?
“You’re not subtle, Sawamura.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?!”
Miyuki laughs, relaxed and easy, like his entire world isn’t shifting on its axis the way Sawamura’s is. “What was I supposed to do, confess for you? ”
“I…I don’t know!” Sawamura admits, eyes big, heart pounding. “You didn’t act any differently towards me.”
Miyuki is quiet, like he’s carefully considering what he wants to say. Finally, he asks, “Was I supposed to?”
Sawamura swallows. His heart is beating so fast he thinks it might beat right out of his chest. “I guess not,” Sawamura says. His hands are shaking.
He told Miyuki how he feels - that was the whole point of this conversation, so that’s it, he guesses. Sawamura can put this behind them without letting it influence their battery.
Miyuki, it turns out, has other plans.
“Do you want me to?”
Sawamura blinks. “What?”
“Do you want me to act differently towards you?”
Hold on. This isn’t part of the conversation Sawamura had prepared for. This is the point where Miyuki is supposed to tell Sawamura he doesn’t feel the same.
His brain is too busy short-circuiting to form words, but lucky for him, Miyuki doesn’t seem to mind carrying on the conversation while Sawamura’s mind works a million miles a minute trying to catch up.
Is he….an idiot?
“I’ve never been in love,” Miyuki says, and all Sawamura can do is stare, unsure eyes meeting Miyuki’s resolve. “I kind of thought I never would be.”
Sawamura stops breathing.
“And then I met you.”
“You…met me,” Sawamura says, his words barely audible over the sound of his racing heart.
Miyuki laughs softly. “Breath, Sawamura. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
Sawamura breaths. The wheels in his mind turn rapidly as he tries to understand what Miyuki’s telling him. It’s laid out pretty clearly, but Sawamura is having a hard time wrapping his brain around the idea that Miyuki Kazuya loves him.
Finally, Sawamura asks, “Are you messing with me?”
Miyuki laughs. “I probably deserve that.” He sighs and runs a hand through his bedhead. “It’d be a lot easier if I was messing with you. I was kind of hoping you’d never figure it out, so we could avoid this conversation altogether. But here we are. Turns out you’re not a complete idiot after all.”
Sawamura scowls, but there are butterflies erupting in his stomach. “I thought you were going to reject me,” Sawamura admits. “I don’t know what’s supposed to happen next.”
Miyuki lets out a deep breath. “I don’t really know what it would look like for us to be…together. But I’ve had time to think about it, and if that’s what you want, I’d like to give it a try.”
Fireworks light Sawamura’s entire body. He’s tingling from head to toe and finding it difficult to stand on two feet. Miyuki Kazuya wants to be his boyfriend. Miyuki Kazuya wants to be his boyfriend. He came here to be rejected, and now he has a boyfriend!?
Wait—shouldn’t he at least ask first?
Sawamura meets Miyuki’s gaze with intense eyes. “Please be my boyfriend!” He half asks, half shouts, bowing awkwardly.
Miyuki cracks a laugh, and Sawamura is too pulled into the sound to be embarrassed. “I can’t believe I’m saying yes to this.”
Sawamura’s eyes shine. “Really?”
Miyuki shakes his head and attempts to stifle his grin. “Really.”