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his eyes are really pretty. and so are his lips.
“and yeah dude, i’m not accusing shiraishi of cheating but i swear to fucking go-”
before akito, who was previously ranting about how a certain someone getting a higher grade than him, was able to process things, toya took his hand, looking him dead in the eye. with a weird look on his face that says something, something weird. why is his face like that?? but like, that look makes his eyes look ethereal… okay, what the fuck is wrong with you, akito
“uhh, dude, i know you know i can read you most of the time, but i can’t really tell what you’re trying to do right about now.”
mwah.
oh, fuck.
oh??
he still hasn’t… pulled away??
usually it would be done after a quick peck but uh, guess he just missed it so much?
nonetheless, akito kissed back. toya was, in fact, somewhat aware that it wasn’t just his lips moving in this exchange, but he kept it as an afterthought, because god forbid it isn’t only his lips moving and akito likes this too, otherwise he’d pull out by now. both of them were sloppy messes but that’s okay, not like either of them have gotten experience before this. akito’s mouth is really open, like, really open. some part of toya is scared he would end up hitting his teeth and ruining the moment, which makes some part of him want to pull away, but he would beat himself over that. both of them could only hear kissing noises, they feel their bodies turn and shoulders squeeze in excitement. toya’s hand, still on akito, runs around going back and forth between the back of akito’s head and hanging near his nape.
a fascinating thing toya learned today, kissing is weirder than you would think it is. maybe because all the exposure he has on this is movies, tv shows, books, or whatever. its objectively more ...inelegant, yet the way his chest is filled with butterflies that should probably be somewhere in his stomach make up for that. still, kissing is weird. but fun. weird, but i wanna do it again.
“you’re weird.”
“why am i weird?”
“because.”
“because?”
“because!”
everyone and everything is weird at this point! the blood rushing up to akito’s cheeks is probably messing with his head at this point, but i guess that’s to be expected after your partner, who is basically your boyfriend, but isn’t actually your boyfriend, just lowkey made out with you.
funny enough, even if toya wasn’t the best with emotions, this guy could read akito better than anyone. no matter how confusing he is, his mind, more often than not, is right about akito and why he acts the way he does.
“we’re not even together”
“i don’t recall anyone saying we aren’t allowed to this if we aren’t together. who said so?”
“…no one.”
“see?”
honestly, their relationship is complicated. both of them know it isn’t platonic, and its basically a relationship right now, but something holds them back from actually placing the “boyfriend” title on each other. even so, countless times have the two expressed they do see it happening, the boyfriend thing, and countless times have they also expressed they are more than happy with whatever right now. (seriously, you wouldn’t know if you should cringe and throw hate or squeal and be happy for these two after reading the letters they’d send each other on special occasions)
“why are you even kissing me…???”
“would you rather have me kiss someone else?”
“NO.”
after that whiney, childlike, five year old-like complain, toya could only giggle at how cute his, uh, partner, is. he kissed him again, holding a tensed-up akito by the waist. his body is tense yet his mouth is speaking a thousand other things. without talking. toya would always be gentle with akito (whether it was the actual kissing or his hands around his body, even if toya was about to squeeze the nearest thing to his hand in excitement every time), so he had no reason to say it was too much, because, frankly, it was too little, even akito thinks so. even if, it was toya’s charming point, his gentleness. akito would never admit it, yet it was all over his face every. single. time.
“stop!”
“why?”
“i’m sick!”
“akito, no you aren’t.”
“i am!!”
ah, an old play in the book. yet toya knows akito is definitely gonna beat himself up later if he actually stops, but he also knows akito is probably gonna go on and on about how he told him so if some consequence occurs, either way, whatever happens because of this whole ‘almost make out session’ is worth it.
“one more?”
muffled cartoonish humming of “nuh uh” come from akito, thanks to him covering his hand, which is covered my his jacket’s sleeve, making it worse. he’s cute like that, and toya knows he’s like this because behind all those "barriers" is a blushing, red mess. all because of the boy in front of him! god fucking damn it, toya. yet akito knows he can’t complain, because, well, that same boy is also the one he loves.
toya’s tugs on akito's arm are somewhat successful. it distracted akito for sure, yet akito’s grip isn’t budging. is he really weaker than he thought? should he stop skipping p.e classes? is it time to hit the gym? okay, no, too far, but the p.e classes thing, he definitely has to do something about that sometime soon.
“do you not want to?”
“…i want.”
“then why are you acting weird?”
“because!”
it's a waste of breath asking questions you already know the answer to, but thanks to that exchange, akito had his arms down and away from his face. and a little extra confident someone secretly took both his hands and placed it around his waist. akito’s face was free, except for toya’s hands on his cheeks, again. except, he was poking akito’s cheek now.
"stop poking my cheek!!"
"no, heh"
in the end, to no one’s surprised, toya pulled him close and started the whole kissing thing again. for the third time. akito wasn’t wrong saying how toya was so damn obsessed with kisses a few days back when they did this whole thing for the first time, he isn’t wrong nor does toya have a valid excuse. this is just really fun for him. and akito’s flustered face looks so cute. they’re both still a bunch of immature teenagers who don't know jackshit about how to do this thing properly, but that’s the thrill of it, right?
“i’m gonna hit you, toya”
“but you love me too much for that.”
“i can hit you lovingly.”
at this point in time, its been about four and a half months (almost five!) since that one day where toya got the impulse to say three words that could’ve ruined everything, its been about a month since they started pecking each other’s cheeks and lips, and its been a few weeks since their first “i love you”, over text (toya’s too scared to say it to his face and hopes akito does it first). that question will come out of one of them soon, right?
i love you. in the language of i have no fucking clue what i'm doing, and i wanna figure that out with you.