Chapter Text
[Start of recording]
The camera turns on. Sero, Kaminari, and Ashido are standing in a wide street lined with cafes and shops, wearing standard civilian clothing. Ashido casually leans against a lamppost, flashing a victory sign with a grin. Sero smiles at the camera as well, but Kaminari still has a glazed-over look in his eyes as he stares at nothing in particular. It’s around noon and the street is far from empty, several passerby filtering past the group as they film.
“All right,” says Kirishima, the point of a thumbs-up visible in frame. “I think I got it.”
“Hey everybody!” Sero says cheerfully to the camera. “I’m Sero, and I’m here today in the Kamino Ward Mall with Kaminari and Ashido!”
“And we’re Squad Nitro!” Ashido chirps.
“Uh, wait, what?” Kaminari jerks back to reality at the sound of his name. “Wait, we’re live? Dude! You have to tell me this stuff!”
Sero gives him a look. “How were you that zoned out? It’s been five minutes.”
Kaminari adopts a solemn expression. “I do not control the ADHD, my friend. The ADHD controls me.”
Ashido pipes up. “Kirishima is there behind the camera, too. Say hi, Kirishima!”
A hand waves in front of the camera. “Hi, Kirishima!”
Kaminari snorts as Sero continues. “So, right. Today we’re gonna be kind of just showing you guys what it’s like for a UA student off campus. We get recognized sometimes from the sports festival and whatnot, so it can be kind of chaotic.”
“Not just the sports festival,” Ashido adds, rolling her eyes. “2-A’s been through more shit than a sewage tank. Remember our first year? It only took us a week to get attacked by, like, thirty villains.” She sighs, sliding a bit down the lamppost. “I miss when we were just innocent freshmen.”
Kaminari rolls his eyes. “I don’t. Remember when we had to fill out a freaking form if we wanted to go outside? Every lightning storm, I’d accidentally blow out all the wiring. Then I had to be everyone’s personal phone charger for the whole week!” He sighs. “I have to start charging for that. I’d make a fortune.”
“Oh, that reminds me, I gotta pick up a phone charger,” Ashido muttered. “But come on, let’s go! I want a latte!”
The camera follows the trio as they step into a nearby Starbucks and join the line.
“Wait, Ashido! Lemme see if I can guess your order,” Kaminari says, putting his fingers to his temples like he’s trying to read her mind. “Venti nonfat triple shot soy milk flat white with mocha sauce-”
Ashido crosses her arms. “Literally none of that was right.”
“Aw man!” Something buzzes in Kaminari’s pocket. “Oh, whoop. Gotta take this.” He puts the phone to his ear, covering his other ear with his hand to hear the call better. “Hey, Grampa!”
As he steps a little out of frame, his eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Wait, why do you need to buy Steam gift cards?”
“Y’know, Ashido, that kinda did sound like something you would order.” Sero shrugs. “Just saying.”
Ashido looks affronted. “I would never use soy milk!” she scoffs. “I drink normal milk like a normal person, thank you very much.”
“Yeah, you gotta admit, it’s a little weird,” Kirishima adds from behind the camera. “How do you even milk a soybean?” There’s a pause. “Oh hell, now I can’t stop thinking of edamame with udders-”
Sero’s face twists. “Oh, yeah, no. That’s weird.”
Ashido grimaces, squeezing her eyes shut. “Ugh… brain bleach. I need brain bleach.”
Kaminari facepalms, making the camera swivel back to him. “Grampa…” he groans. “That’s not- no, it’s a scam, Grampa. The Indian National Bank is not actually going to deliver you six billion yen.”
Just then, a short person wearing a plain black sweatshirt walks into the shop, their face hidden by the shadow of his hood. After a moment of hesitation, they join the line behind the group.
“Look-” Kaminari continues. He takes a deep breath. “Grampa. You didn’t give them your phone number, did you?”
Sero quirks an eyebrow at him. “Wait, what happened?”
Kaminari rolls his eyes, covering the receiver with his hand. “Grampa got one of those scam emails. The ones that are like give us all your personal information and we’ll send you a boatload of money! For a small fee!”
“Oooh.” Ashido winces. “How much money did they squeeze out of him?”
“None yet, thankfully. He was trying to buy freaking Steam gift cards to pay them with-”
“Next!” The barista calls. The group shuffles up to the front. She eyes the camera for a moment before turning back to them. “You know, you guys look really familiar. I’m getting this crazy sense of deja vu.”
Ashido gives a little wave. “Oh, we’re from UA! We’re second years in the hero course.”
The barista’s mouth forms a little o. “Ohhh! Yeah, I remember some of you from the sports festival! You’re the girl with the acid, right?”
The pink girl beams. “Yeah!”
While Ashido chats with the barista, Kaminari looks up, cocking his head at something off-camera. Sero notices his expression, and the camera follows his gaze to the person in the sweatshirt, who is stepping up to the register next to them.
“What?” Sero asks. “You’re not zoning out again, are you?”
Kaminari gives him a flat look. “That’s not how that works- never mind.” His voice lowers conspiratorially. “Does that guy look… I don’t know. Suspicious?” He pauses, talking into his phone again. “Oh, sorry, Grampa! I’m just with my friends right now.”
Sero raises an eyebrow. “Just because they’re in a hoodie doesn’t mean they’re suspicious, Kami.”
“No, it’s not that.” Kaminari’s eyebrows furrow further. “They’re building up a charge. Like, a big one. And it definitely wasn’t like that when they came in. I’d’ve noticed it for sure- no, Grampa, don’t click that-”
The camera can’t seem to decide who to focus on, swiping back and forth between Kaminari’s suddenly serious expression and the guy in the hoodie, who is currently ordering a regular iced coffee and keeping his head down.
Ashido looks up at him, tense. “Wait, like how big? Police taser big or Kaminari big?”
Kaminari’s eyes narrow, his feet sliding into a battle stance almost unconsciously. “Big big.”
“That’s… not really helpful.”
The blond boy bites his lip, ignoring Ashido. “Grampa, hold on just a second. And don’t click anything.”
Sero surreptitiously angles his elbows at the guy as Kaminari takes a step forward, putting a casual hand on their shoulder. “Hey, buddy! I just noticed that- whOH SHIT-”
A column of blue lightning explodes upward from the person’s head, searing straight through their hood and sizzling outward like tiny glowing tentacles. The camera auto-exposes down, leaving the rest of the frame in shadow as it tries to take in the overwhelming new source of light. Everybody’s hair instantly stands straight up. Every lightbulb in the room explodes, showering down broken glass onto the terrified crowd. The lightning stretches out, ready to grab at everything - the floor, the walls, the windows, the people. Sero grunts and fires tape at the man but he’s accidentally tackled by a fleeing woman holding a child. The camera shakes as Kirishima lets out a yell, but that’s all he has time to do.
Just as quickly as the electricity stretches outward, it suddenly starts to arc back towards its source. Kaminari stands apparently unbothered as the lightning flows into his skin, the whole column curving back on itself and diffusing into his outstretched hand.
“Dude, this is not cool,” he says.
Suddenly, his face goes pale and he whips the phone up closer to his ear, lightning still flowing into his hand. “WAIT GRAMPA NO, DON’T CLICK THAT- noooo…” he moans. “Grampa… Oh, your computer just froze. I wonder why.”
The frame spirals as the camera gets tossed unceremoniously on a nearby table. Kirishima’s red spikes are visible for a moment as he rushes out of frame to help. A second later, however, someone new picks the camera up again, shaky for a moment before zooming in on Hoodie Guy’s face as he looks at Kaminari with a mixture of confusion and fear. His hood has completely fallen off his head with the top part of it practically blown off. He looks like a normal guy in his early 20s; the only sign of his quirk is that rather than hair, various types of batteries sprout out of his scalp.
“Grampa, you need to stop downloading viruses,” Kaminari groans. “Look, can we talk later? I’m kind of in the middle of something. ‘Kay, love you, bye.” He thumbs a button on his phone and shoots the guy an annoyed look. “Dude, are you done? I kinda just wanted a latte.”
Hoodie Guy stumbles, the electrical onslaught finally fizzling out. Thin wisps of smoke drift through the air. “How the fuck did you do that?” he exclaims. “That was almost two hundred thousand volts!”
Kaminari smirks, his hand still crackling with the last dregs of the attack. “Sounds like a skill issue.”
“MMMPH MMPH!” the guy shouts, Sero’s tape having formed a gag over his mouth.
The blond boy snickers. “What was that?”
“HEY!” Ashido’s voice shouts.
A ceramic mug flies into frame like a bullet and beans Hoodie Guy directly in the face. He makes a sound like something between a grunt and a yelp and crumples. The person carrying the camera bursts out in gasping laughter. Her voice is quiet, muffled by her laughs, but still clearly audible.
“That was the funniest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.”
The camera pans to Kirishima as he approaches Hoodie Man, grabbing his arms and forcing them behind his back. Hoodie Guy struggles at first, but he’s no match for Kirishima’s hardened limbs and he gives in to his fate. Sero quickly tapes him up, leaving him mummified from his shoulders to his hips.
“Is everyone okay?” Kirishima calls out, one hand still securing Hoodie Guy. “Anybody hurt? The police will be coming soon, but if anyone needs medical attention, we need to know now.”
A mumbled sequence of “We’re okays” echoes through the cafe.
“Woo!” Sero exclaims. “Nice one, dude!” He holds out his fist and Kaminari bumps it. There’s a faint zap sound and Sero jerks. “YOW!” he cries, cradling his fist. “Jeez, dude!”
“Oop,” Kaminari says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry ‘bout that. I’m still kinda charged up, I think.”
“Hey, someone got the camera!” Ashido exclaims. She winks. “Thanks, girl!”
“Oh, my god,” the cameraman whispers. “This is the best day of my life.”
The barista pops up from the counter, eyes wide. “...Holy shit.”
Ashido bites her lip. “Uh, sorry about the mess.” She picks up the mug she threw, tossing it from hand to hand. “How the hell is this thing still in one piece?” She snorts. “I might buy one of these things just for the durability.”
The camera zooms in as the barista gives a bewildered laugh. “Just- just take it, then. And your coffee is free, obviously.”
Kirishima cocks his head, surprised. “Oh, you don’t have to. It’s fine, really-”
Kaminari claps him on the back, wincing when the lingering static electricity makes Kirishima flinch. “Oop. Just let it happen, dude! We’re heroes! We did hero things!”
“I guess…” The spiky boy scratches his hair with a small smile. “Thanks!”
Then somebody starts clapping, and the rest of the cafe soon joins in, everybody cheering and whooping and snapping pictures as the four heroes stand with big smiles on their faces. The cameraman moves to the side, getting a better angle to see the crowd practically mobbing the group with questions.
“Can I get a photo?” somebody says to Kaminari.
He grins. “Sure!” His fingers form a peace sign, a small string of lightning buzzing between his fingertips like an antenna.
“What’s your hero name?” cries someone else.
“I’m the Taping Hero: Cellophane!” Sero replies, striking a dramatic pose.
“Are you guys from UA or what?” someone else asks. “Do you have hero licenses?”
“Yes, and yes!” Ashido chirps. “Well, we have provisional ones, anyway. Still counts, though!”
“Thank you for saving us,” a woman says quietly, eyes wet as she clutches her child.
Kirishima gives her a smile, which manages to be overwhelmingly kind despite his sharp teeth. “We’re heroes, ma’am. It’s what we do.”
Outside, red-and-blue lights flash on top of arriving police cars right before a stream of cops flood in. The crowd parts like the Red Sea, forming a path straight to the heroes.
“Uuugh,” Kaminari groans. “I always forget how much paperwork heroing is.”
Ashido walks over to the camera, smoothly taking it from the cameraman’s hands as she passes.
“Thanks!” she says. “This is gonna be such a cool video!”
The video blinks off.
[End of recording]
[Start of recording]
“Did that do anything?”
“Hey, you got it!”
Kirishima and Ashido join the rest of the group on the couch. Ashido immediately kicks her feet up on Kirishima’s lap, leaning her back against Sero’s shoulder. Neither boy seems to mind. On the other side of the couch, Midoriya nudges Kaminari, whispering ‘we’re rolling’ in his ear as he flips to a tabbed page in the notebook in his lap.
“Okay, so, that video of us in the Starbucks kind of blew up a bit,” Sero starts.
“We just hit five million views!” Ashido cheers. “Thank you guys so much!”
“We’ve gotten a lot of questions about it! So we decided to do a Q&A,” Sero continues. “Midoriya here has been nice enough to find some of the best questions, and he’ll be acting as kind of the host right now.”
The camera cuts to a close-up of Midoriya, who gives an awkward wave. “Uh… hi!”
“Midoriya is insane, by the way,” Kaminari adds animatedly. “Just letting y’all know. Don’t be fooled by the fact that he’s, like, five feet tall. This man can punch through a building without breaking a sweat.”
The green-haired boy frowns. “I’m not that short.”
“Whatever you say, dude.” He mouths short at the camera, snickering.
Kirishima gives him a supportive thumbs-up. “Whenever you’re ready, dude.”
Midoriya nods, reading from his notebook. “Okay. I’m paraphrasing a bit, and I crunched some related questions together just for efficiency, but that’s not really important. Question one: what are your hero names and quirks?”
Kaminari suddenly perks up. “OH! You guys seriously gotta let me do this in post. I can give you all cool intros!”
Ashido turns around to look at him. “Wait, you can edit videos? You don’t even know how to work the remote!”
The video suddenly hard cuts to a black screen with white block text on it:
YEAH WELL EAT THIS -Future Kaminari
What follows is a shockingly well put-together sequence of one-second clips of each hero, showing off a mix of them being awesome in their hero costumes and being silly and full of personality in their UA uniforms. The clips are accompanied by epic rock music and a caption with their name, their hero name, and a short explanation of their quirk.
The video cuts back to Kaminari on the couch shrugging nonchalantly. “I hyperfixated on it a few years back. I think I’m pretty good.”
“Okay, then, moving on! Question two,” Midoriya reads. “Who actually was that guy in the video? What happened to him?” He looks at the others. “I can take this one, if you guys want.”
Sero shrugs. “Go for it, man.”
As Midoriya talks, a mugshot of Hoodie Guy appears on the screen. “Nakano Yasuhide. Small-time thief. His quirk’s known as Battery Hair.”
“Battery Hair?” Ashido giggles. “Seriously?”
Kaminari snickers. “Dude, did he drop all his creativity down a garbage disposal? Should’a called it Battery Mustache.”
The mugshot adjusts accordingly, adding a mustache made of poorly photoshopped batteries to his face.
Midoriya gives him a weirded-out look. “But… he doesn’t have a mustache…?”
“Yeah, that’s the creative part!”
“O-oh, haha!” Midoriya blushes, his eyes flicking from the camera to his friends like he’s not sure where to look. “Anyway, Nakano is suspected of being involved in several previous robberies in that area, but nobody can be certain since most of the cameras at those sites were completely fried. At the Starbucks, though, that was basically his M.O. from what the police can tell: electrocute the crowd so they can’t fight back, grab the money from the register, and run.”
The reaction is immediate. You can practically see the entire couch light up with energy.
“Whoa, nice!” Kirishima exclaims. Kaminari reaches over Sero to reciprocate his offered fist bump. Sero takes the opportunity to enthusiastically ruffle his hair, leaving it sticking straight up like someone had just rubbed a balloon all over it. “Dude! You stopped an actual criminal!”
“Yeah, and without any pros, too!” Ashido whoops, offering him a high-five that he hits with a satisfying smack. “That’s crazy!”
“Oh yeah,” Kaminari says smugly. He tries to cross his arms in a cool superhero pose, but it’s made slightly less impressive by the fact that half of his hair is still sticking straight up above his head. “I’m just that good, aren’t I? Chargebolt for the win!”
“WOO!” Ashido cheers, throwing her hands in the air.
“You got a 57 on the last trig quiz,” somebody deadpans from the next room over.
There’s a moment where Kaminari’s grin stays plastered on his face, his brain processing the information. Then he wilts. “Why you gotta do me like that, Shinsou?”
“Somebody has to keep your ego in check.”
Sero gives him some sympathetic back pats as Midoriya shuffles through his notebook.
“Okay, moving on. This was a concerningly common question, so I wanted to mention it up front: Ashido, why didn’t you use your acid in the fight?”
Ashido hums. “Yeah, the first thing you learn when you have a quirk like mine is don’t mess with electric quirks. Even weak acids are really conductive, and since different quirks all work differently, you kind of just don’t know what it’s gonna do. It might do nothing, or it could be really dangerous, or it could even make them stronger. I didn’t want to accidentally put the guy into a coma or something, or draw the lightning toward the crowd somehow.”
“Yeah, like when she accidentally gets acid on my head, it shorts me out,” Kaminari adds. “But, like, she wouldn’t short out a normal lightbulb, even with a weak acid. It’s the mechanics of it.”
Midoriya nods slowly. “Yeah, sort of! Ashido made the right decision not to use her quirk in that fight. You don’t take a risk like that with bystanders nearby, especially not when there’s a perfectly viable solution standing right next to you.”
Text suddenly appears onscreen with a little ding noise: (midoriya is really smart btw, he’s good at this kind of thing)
“Anyway. Kaminari, here’s one for you-”
“Hold on, actually!” Ashido whips out her phone, scrolling through it. “Midoriya, I knew you’d only ask the lame boring battle questions, so I’ve picked out some questions too!”
Color rises to Midoriya’s cheeks. “Oh. Sorry.”
“Hey, battle questions aren’t boring,” Kirishima argues. “I think it's cool that people want to know about the hero stuff we do-”
“A-ba-ba,” Ashido clucks her tongue. “Let me talk. Question one, asked by user pewpewlasergun42: Kirishima, will you marry me?”
Kirishima blinks. “Uh… what?”
“The internet has officially decided that you are hot!” Ashido nudges his shoulder playfully and without a hint of awkwardness. “And rightfully so, I might add.”
He gives a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I don’t think I’m that hot... I work out a lot, I guess?”
Sero glances skeptically at Kaminari. “Dude, if Kirishima isn’t hot, then there is zero hope for us.”
Kaminari pouts. “I know, right? This is completely unfair!”
Midoriya clears his throat. “Okay, next question. Kaminari, there were a lot of questions asking how your phone didn’t completely fry when you were redirecting the lightning. Want to explain that?”
He shrugs. “I mean, it’s not that hard. Electricity likes me more than it likes my phone, and I can mostly control where I let it out, so I just… made it go somewhere else. The lightning does all the work for you, so as long as you give it an out, you can guide it basically anywhere. All you really need to do is just nudge it in the right direction.”
Everybody blinks.
“Um,” Ashido says, confused. “What?”
“Dude,” Sato says. “Explain it to us like we’re dumb.”
Kirishima looks relieved. “Oh, good, I’m not the only one who got exactly none of that.”
“So Kaminari’s body acts as a superconductor,” Midoryia mutters. “I guess that makes sense, since otherwise his body would instantly boil and explode from channeling that much energy, but that’s still really cool-”
Kaminari ignores Midoriya as he keeps muttering under his breath, his fingers drumming his leg as he thinks. “I mean… okay, think about it like this, maybe. Electricity is a negative charge, right? Lightning happens when that charge is so strong that it superheats the air and makes it glow, but it’s the same thing. It’s all just charges, like a magnet. So the negatives are attracted to the positives - the positive part is usually the ground, like when lightning strikes - and the electricity wants to get to the positives by the easiest way possible.” He gestures around helplessly, floundering a bit. “It’s easy to attract lightning to me. Like, it’s even easier than making it myself. Then I just give it a path to the ground and it takes it because it’s easier to move through me than it is to move through a phone, or through someone who doesn’t have an electric quirk. Right?”
“Okay, you have to let me do some experiments with your quirk,” Midoriya says eagerly. “I never thought much about exactly how it works before, but this is so cool!”
The wordslol nerdpop up on the screen, followed a few seconds later by sorry midoriya i didn’t mean it
“Uh, I still don’t get it,” Kirishima says faintly.
Kaminari gives him a flat look. “Fine. Ashido, you got any bobby pins?”
“Yeah, here,” she says, pulling one out of her fluffy hair. “Why?”
“Sero, grab the camera,” he directed. “We’re doing a demonstration!”
Sero picks up the camera and the group follows him as he kneels down at a nearby outlet. Midoriya watches keenly, a gleam in his eye.
“Bobby pin.” Kaminari holds the pin up to the camera. “Outlet. Don’t do this at home, kids.”
Briefly, the screen cuts to a bunch of alarm GIFs playing, surrounding the flashing red text I REALLY MEAN IT! THESE ARE PRO HERO ONLY ACTIVITIES! DON'T EVER STICK STUFF INTO OUTLETS! YOU WILL DIE POSSIBLY!
Okay PSA over back to the video
The video cuts back to Kaminari, who promptly jams the pin into the socket, wiggling it around a bit. Nothing seems to happen, but he nods, seemingly satisfied. “There we go! Now, if I just-”
He makes a swipe at Kirishima’s hand. Kirishima reacts quickly, though, and he pulls his arm back before Kaminari can touch it.
“Hey!” he cries, more surprised than anything else. “What was that, man?”
“Yeah, are you trying to electrocute him?” Ashido exclaims.
Kaminari huffs. “Look, it’s fine, guys. Just lemme show you.” He holds out his hand, the other one still resting on the electrified bobby pin.
Kirishima nods resolutely. “I trust you.” He grabs his friend’s outstretched hand, tensing for a moment before frowning. “Uh, I don’t feel anything.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” Kaminari says impatiently. “The lightning doesn’t want to leave my body. Going through you is way harder than going through me, so it just doesn’t bother. Even though I’m technically being electrocuted right now, you don’t feel anything ‘cause I’m just absorbing the charge.”
“I… kind of understand that,” Kirishima says slowly. “I think.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty cool!” Ashido agrees. “I wish I understood that much about my quirk, honestly. I just make acid.”
Midoriya’s eyes lit up. “Maybe we can test your quirk out too! I’ve gotta ask Hatsume to get me a microscope-” He trails off muttering again.
Kirishima glances at the clock on the wall and yelps. “Oh, shit!” he yells. He suddenly takes off running for the door.
“‘Bye,” Shinsou calls.
“Wait, what happened?” Ashido shouts after him.
“I’M LATE FOR TRAINING WITH BAKUBRO!”
From behind the camera, Sero loudly sucks his teeth. “Ooh. That’s not good.”
“Well, I guess that’s all we got for today!” Ashido flashes a grin at the camera. “We might do some more of these if you guys liked this one. Try not to die!”
Kaminari snorts. “What kind of an outro is that? Try not to die? You say that when someone gets paired up in a spar with Bakugou, not when you’re trying to be cool on the internet.”
“Whatever! I’m not good at this!” Ashido complains. “It's good enough. Bye!”
[End of Recording]