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What the hell was that smell? It smelled like a bomb of a thousand farts had just been dropped inside the Gryffindor common room. Not just any normal farts, no… they were atomic farts. The smell was leaking from upstairs, presumably from one of the dorm rooms. There was only one man capable of making such a foul smell, and that was Ronald Bilius Weasley 🧙♂️.
I stormed up the stairs directly to the smelly man's dorm room. I dug my nails into my palm as I formed a fist, bringing it up to bang on the door. Tempted to scream until my lungs popped, I was content with breaking the door down until someone came to open it. The door swung open revealing a green faced Harry Pottah. He had his hand over his nose and mouth and took a step back, showing the man himself (🧙♂️) sobbing in the corner.
The horrid smell wafted in my face, a gag threatening to escape from my throat. My focus shifted between Ron and Harry, dread washing over my body. “What the FLIP is going on? Why does Ron smell like the smelliest, dirtiest sock that has ever graced this god awful planet?” My eyes began to water as I walked over to Ron. God…he was somehow still so dashingly handsome despite smelling so bad. Yet my face continued to pale.
Harry coughed, my attention reaching back to him. “It was… Fred..and Gorge…one of their..pr-” Harry threw up on the floor in front of me. Ew. I wasn’t going to be able to erase that image from my mind for weeks.
“One of their bloody pranks, it was. Now I smell like a dead cat that’s been rotting under a house all summer..” I watched as he curled in on himself.
“Bloody hell Ron...there there.” I knelt down beside the tear stained (and stench stained) Ron and pat him on the back, using every fibre of my being to not pass out and die. I looked back at Harry, grimacing at the puddle of puke on the floor.
“Harry, do me a favor, would you? Find Fred and Gorge then bring them here.” was all I said, bringing my attention back to Ron as I was now starting to rub his back instead of pat. It seemed to calm him down more than the other, thank Merlin. I wasn’t sure if I could handle more puke.
Harry didn’t seem to think twice as he rushed out of the room, mindful to keep the door open to let some of the stench out. “Ron.. have you tried bathing?” I asked in a soft voice, trying to be gentle with the stinker I sat next to. He looked up at me and just shook his head slowly. “You dumb, dumb idiot…Let's get you to the bathroom.”
Ron nodded, pushing himself off the floor. I was reluctant to take his hand, but decided he probably needed the moral support from his stinky stench. I pushed him into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. “Sorry Ron, but it's for your own good. SHOWER NOW!!!!!!” I heard the water start running and the stench immediately started to clear up.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the boy's foolishness. One shower was all it took and they couldn’t even come to a solution as simple as that. “You’re really that dimwitted you didn’t think to shower?? You’ll be the death of me Ron Weasley.”
“Yo mama’s dimwitted.” And then they kissed.
THE END :3