Work Text:
Neymar has always known there was something wrong with him. Every time he looked in the mirror. He could never interpret it, but it bothered Neymar from a young age when his mother called him a good boy or prince. It didn't feel right. He loved playing soccer. It always made him forget everything. Neymar remembers playing dress up with his older sister. She always had him made up and tucked him into her clothes. Neymar can still remember the feeling, he felt good, warm and right. He was very fond of his sister's pretty dresses.
Football quickly became his hobby and Neymar was better than all his teammates. He joined a league club in Brazil at the age of 16. It was around this time that his mental problems began. He ate more irregularly and began to develop a strong hatred for his body. He didn't understand why he felt this way. His body was of normal development for a 16 year old boy and he had muscles. Neymar started hurting himself. No matter what kind, cutting or banging his head against a wall didn't matter to him.
Football helped distract him and he kept getting better at it. At the age of 19 he moved to Barcelona to continue his career in Europe. He played at the same club as some big names. Actually he should be super excited about it, but this feeling destroyed everything. It felt wrong changing in the locker room with the others. Neymar didn't like people seeing his body because he felt it was wrong. He hardly spoke to the others and tried to concentrate on his performance. Somehow he and Messi became friends and also spent a lot of time together in their free time. Neymar quickly gained notoriety and his game just kept getting better. But that feeling of being wrong didn't go away. It hurts a lot and Neymar threatened to break down. He searched the internet for this feeling. He was suggested a video of a young lady named Elisabeth McLean talking about her trans identity disorder. Neymar watched it three times that night and thought about it a lot. Could it be that he was transgender? He plucked up courage and ordered some make-up and some female clothing online. When things arrived over the weekend, Neymar gave it a try. He put on the pastel yellow hodie and had a little heart embroidered on it. Then Neymar put on the black denim skirt where a sunflower was embroidered on the back pocket. In addition he had bought a pair of tights which he put on. He had his legs shaved especially for that. Then Neymar tryed to do his Make up with the help of a tutorial. When he was done he looked at himself in the mirror and started to cry. It feels right. Neymar has felt like herself for ages. She tried to stop crying so she wouldn't smudge her makeup. Neymar snapped some photos of herself. She knew she wouldn't tell anyone for now, but she also knew she'd give herself a feminine or gender-neutral name just to make her feel better.